The 'Shroom:Issue XX/Good Game, Bad Game
Hello there! I'm Uncle Jaffffey and today we're gonna talk about Mario Kart! Mario Kart is what happens when Mario decides he's faster than his limo driver, hits a turtle, slips over a banana, and decides it was fun. Now, since this is my first time making a page, I'm gonna tell you bout' how this works. I'll review my favorite, and least favorite game of the series.
Good Game:Mario Kart 64
A Gem worth more than all of Midus' sliver.
Although Super Mario Kart is the first game in the series, this was called by many to be the game that made the series famous. Mario Kart 64 was released a few month's after Super Mario 64 and it was just as good. It had an All-Star cast of Mario, Luigi, Peach, Yoshi, Donkey Kong, Toad, Wario, and Bowser. It's goal is simple, to get to the finish line in 3 laps before anyone else. To help you achieve this goal, there are certain items you can use. Bananas, Koopa Shells, Lightning,Star, etc. The people in last were the ones who got the best items, but the items weren't what mattered, it was your driving. The courses are modeled after the characters personalities; For example, Peach's is all pretty, and Donkey Kong's is in a Jungle. The only bad thing was the lack of unlockables, which is O.K, seeing that this was an early made game. So all-in-all, Mario Kart 64 is a classic/new age game that makes us all (well ME anyway) feel fuzzy on the inside.
Bad Game:Mario Kart Wii
It hurts to look at it.
I already know I'm going to get a lot of negative feed back on this, but my voice needs to be heard. Okay, So here's my side of this twisted story. Super Smash Brothers Brawl just came out and I stayed up playing till my mom started getting bloodshot in the eyes telling me to go to bed. I eventually got bored of it and started waiting for another game: Mario Kart Wii. I waited till April 28th, stopped by at GameStop (after Church of course) and picked up the game. After a few hours, I was dissapointed to tears. This game has so many things against my love of Mario games that I don't even consider it a game. Okay, let's take a look at the title first. To the average gaamer, this seems normal, but to the obsessive and loyal Mario fan, you can spot the lazzyness. For those of you who don't know,this was also the beta name. Games in the beta stage don't have real creative title's. For example, Wario Land: Shake It! was originally titled Wario Land:Wii. They basically make the full game, then give it it's cool name afterward. I guess they just spent so much time making this game untrue to Mario Kart tradition, that they didn't bother to change the name. Since we're on the subject of Beta, let's talk about characters that were going to be in the game. Boo and Goomba, both classic characters, were going to make a special appearnance in the game. At the last minute they took them out and replaced them with other characters I wouldn't play as for the life of me. Some of the characters in the selection character selection seem like a joke. One character that really burns me up is Rosalina. She appeared in ONE game, ONLY ONE! There were so many diffrent characters that regularly appear in the Marioverse, but nope, they decided to give a stupid newcomer, who is just as useless as Peach is in Super Mario Galaxy, to be in the game. Another unnescessary character is Baby Daisy, which is a baby version of Princess Daisy. This game marked the first appearence of Baby Daisy. So let me get this straight; They put in a baby version of a character, who only appeared in one main game, as apposed to other, better characters? How does that make sense in ANY DEMENSION! Dimentio probably couldn't even understand this travesty in the D Dimension! Anyway, the only character that I REALLY wanted in this game wasn't in this at all. That character my friend, is Petey Piranha. He's appeared in pretty much every Mario Sport game in the franchise since his first appearence in Super Mario Sunshine, he even appeared Strickers Charged. But when it comes to Mario Kart, the producers thought "Why put in someone who is almost a regular, when we can put in a useless princess and a bratty baby?". I'll tell you why, BECAUSE IT WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE!
It's mocking me.
Let's get on to actual game play now. The first flaw you notice is the Wii Wheel. Much like the game designers creativity, it's 2 sizes 2 small. Not only that, but the slightest tilt will cause your driver to go falling off the edge and get towed by a Lakitu. The Wheel was so annoying that I had to switch to the Wiimote & Nuchaku just to get to 150cc. After about a half hour of practicing, you'll finally be readdy for the Grand Prix. So your in 1st, feeling proud of yourself when .... A blue shell comes your way. It's okay I just gotta stay positive... then your struck by Lightning. No matter, I can still make 3rd... you get squished by someone with a Mega Mushroom. That's it, it dosen't even matter how good you are at driving you just need is a good ite.. BULLET BILL! GRAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH! What's sickingly ironic is that one of the creators of the game took out persenolized items because they thought it wasn't about driving, but getting good items. [insert my sarcastic laugh here].
For those of you who like this game, i'm not saying it's all bad.It's a decent game if you're playing with your friends. This is because a good friend usually plays by the rules, and people on Wi-fi are nice as well. I just can't see how people can overlook the main problems of this game. So as long as you steer clear of Grand Prix, the Wii Wheel, and those annoying new characters, this game might be playable for the attentive gamer.
So there you have it. My favorite and least favorite Mario Kart games. Now I'm gonna go make a sandwich.
