The 'Shroom:Issue XVIII/Fake News

Fake News

Fake News Team

Fake Music Smiddle here again. No, seriously, it's me. Don't believe me? Well, then I'll have to... uh... tell mom. That's right! Yeah! After I've told her, I'll ride my tandem bike with her, going mile after mile, until we've stopped at a cute café, where the towels are also fluffy! Fluffy, like this album. Which I've written about. Below this text. That wasn't hard to do, but I'm glad they let me do it, since you, dear reader, is an imbecile. That's right, you are a moron. I don't care whether you find this text offensive or not, I'm just glad you're still reading it. The Thes made a great success with the album, Snakes on a NES... if you compare that great success with planting your face in a more-than-rotten pumpkin pie. So... uh... by reading this, you are wasting your time as an alive being. 'Nuff said. Go on and check the pretty thing below, and get a free raspberry-flavoured doughnut! ...Not. Artist: The Thes Album: Snakes on a NES Track number Song name Length Description 1 "Chiller" 5:22 Parody of "Thriller" by Michael Jackson, about Snowman's Land. 2 "I'm Sore" 3:27 Parody of "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz, about Mario who's got injured. 3 "Dance Dance Revolution" 3:18 Original song, about Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix. 4 "Like a Birdo" 3:09 Parody of "Like a Virgin" by Madonna, about Birdo. 5 "I'll Save Her" 3:19 Parody of "Whenever, Wherever" by Shakira, about Bowser's constant kidnapping of Peach. 6 "Dunk" 4:32 Parody of "Renegades of Funk" by Rage Against the Machine, about Mario Hoops 3 on 3. 7 "Money For Something" 3:52 Parody of "Money For Nothing" by Dire Straits, about Nintendo and their works. 8 "Hyper Suction" 3:49 Parody of "Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones, about Wario's relation to gold. 9 "I've Got My Mind Set on Shrooms" 3:53 Parody of "I've Got My Mind Set on You" by George Harrison, about Luigi who goes crazy about mushrooms. 10 "Secrets of the Yolk" 13:37 Original song, listing a lot of easter eggs in Mario games, which is why it's so long.

Obituaries By: Stooben Rooben Rawk Hawk – (Punk Era - RAWK ERA!!!!) RAWK'D OUT. Rawk Hawk, the 1-million-time wrestling chimp of the Glitz Pit, died a brutal breath last Wednesday. After preparing for his match, Rawk Hawk greased his hair as he stood on-stage. While fighting a pouty Koopatrol, he began to perform his final blow. As he twirled in medieval; he clung to the topmost rapper. As he lunged down to attack, a rouge audience member threw a cake at Rawk Hawk, disabling his aim. Rawk Hawk hit the floor harshly, busting up his face. As he lay there immobilized, many audience members forced poisoned cake down his throat. While some fans beat up the cakers, others thought his awkward death was a cruel iron. ...Uh, yeah...

Cooking Guide By: Yoshster Recipe for Sweet Shroom Ingredients: 4 mushrooms or 3 super shrooms or 2 Ultrashrooms or 1 life shroom] 1 bag of cake mix 1 bottle of honey Approx. 3 table spoons of granulated sugar Procedure: 1.take sugar and honey and mix them together in a bowl together with the cake mix 2. Next slice the mushrooms into about 3 slices (Each) 3. Then place the slices into a pot and heat together with water untill it simmers 4. After this is completed and the shroom/s have cooled use a motar and pestle and ground it into a mush 5. Next mix the mush with the previous honey-sugar mixture and place in a baking pan and bake in an oven at 350 F for 30 mins 6. And Viola you now have Sweet Shroom

Fake Games By: Purple Yoshi So...today, the game is....Paper Mario DS (I think they already released that!) Oh. Well, then. It's gonna be Super Smash Bros. DS (YAY) Game: Super Smash Bros. DS Genre: Fighting Platform: DS I think you know how Smash Bros. works. No, this is NOT a hoax. You touch your character to jump, draw a line to punch, draw a line while holding L or R for a special move, and so on. Look! I even have a screenshot of it! What? That's just a pic from Smash Bros. Dojo with a crappy DS drawn with it? Oh. Sorry. [Door breaks down] No. NOT AGAIN! Seriously, I do not want to get sued again. Nooooo........

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