Smiddle here again. No, seriously, it's me. Don't believe me? Well, then I'll have to... uh... tell mom. That's right! Yeah! After I've told her, I'll ride my tandem bike with her, going mile after mile, until we've stopped at a cute café, where the towels are also fluffy! Fluffy, like this album. Which I've written about. Below this text. That wasn't hard to do, but I'm glad they let me do it, since you, dear reader, is an imbecile. That's right, you are a moron. I don't care whether you find this text offensive or not, I'm just glad you're still reading it. The Thes made a great success with the album, Snakes on a NES... if you compare that great success with planting your face in a more-than-rotten pumpkin pie. So... uh... by reading this, you are wasting your time as an alive being. 'Nuff said. Go on and check the pretty thing below, and get a free raspberry-flavoured doughnut! ...Not.
Rawk Hawk, the 1-million-time wrestling chimp of the Glitz Pit, died a brutal breath last Wednesday.
After preparing for his match, Rawk Hawk greased his hair as he stood on-stage. While fighting a pouty Koopatrol, he began to perform his final blow. As he twirled in medieval; he clung to the topmost rapper. As he lunged down to attack, a rouge audience member threw a cake at Rawk Hawk, disabling his aim. Rawk Hawk hit the floor harshly, busting up his face. As he lay there immobilized, many audience members forced poisoned cake down his throat. While some fans beat up the cakers, others thought his awkward death was a cruel iron.