The 'Shroom:Issue LXX/Special Interview: Meet the Stooben
What, you want an intro? Bug off, it was pain enough doing an interview in the first place. You know what I would much rather be doing than formatting this interview and writing this stupid intro blurb? Playing MediEvil. Or even Crysis 2. Anything else but this, really, because this is dumb; you'll learn all you need about my interviewee if you just read, so go ahead and read and leave me to my jawless devices.
Crocodile Dippy: Hello 'Shroom readers, stockholders, and monitor-blocking cats alike! It's your ever-grating, but oh-so charming Critic Corner director (unless the new 'Shroom director kicks me out next month, please oh god don't fire me I have a crocodile wife and three rifles!) Crocodile Dippy here, with a very special beginning to 'Shroom 2013! With the departure of our beloved Interviews writer Stooben Rooben (talk) from this position, I've decided that his amazing term deserves a powerful end, and so I figured that he should be interviewed. Even after all these interviews he's done, no one has ever expressed interest in his life, so it's time we stop being so selfish and honour the little guy!
Crocodile Dippy: So give a warm welcome to... huh... where is he? Stooben? Where'd you go?
Stooben: You're...um...stepping on me.
Crocodile Dippy: Crikey, sorry, mate! I thought you were an absurdly large blueberry, my bad.
Stooben: No worries! I get that a lot.
Stooben: Anyway, hello 'Shroom readers! Remember me? Of course you do!
Stooben: ...you do, don't you?
Crocodile Dippy: If you don't, then get the hell out of my office. Close the page, I don't need your kind of scum stinking up the text here.
Crocodile Dippy: Sorry about that, Stooben. Some people have no respect!
Stooben: Thanks for clearing out the trash! I mean...uh...
Stooben: What am I doing here, anyway?
Crocodile Dippy: *locks door*
Crocodile Dippy: You're being interviewed! There is no escape!
Stooben: Curses! You've cut me off from my endless supply of throwaway mountains! Now I have no defense...
Stooben: What are you going to do to me?!
Crocodile Dippy: I am going... to ask you questions!
Crocodile Dippy: Bwahahahaha!
Stooben: no, not that! anything but...
Stooben: wait, that's not scary
Crocodile Dippy: It was either this or being stuck in a room with a moose.
Stooben: Canada must be smaller than I remember...
Crocodile Dippy: And on that stereotypical note, we begin our inquiries.
Crocodile Dippy: So Stooben! How are you?
Stooben: I am well! Enjoying some much needed time off from the studio (interviews, ya know)... Time which I am spending participating in Hat War II.
Stooben: Although, I haven't taken a break from studios entirely... I still have music to make. Christmas songs don't make themselves, these days...
Crocodile Dippy: Ah, your lovely Christmas song ushering in the holiday spirit of doom, blood, and destruction. A fun little preview: that won the Music and Artwork SOTM.
Stooben: Oh wow. I'm flattered! I figured I'd never see another award after the 21st of December...
Stooben: Boy, was I wrong.
Stooben: In all seriousness, I am grateful for the award. It's quite an honor.
Crocodile Dippy: While we're talking about your music, many of our users may not know that you actually compose music under the moniker 'Solitary Confinement', and that you've released a few songs already. How about sharing with the readers what it's like making music, and what it usually takes to get it the way you want it?
Stooben: Oh wow. I could babble forever about my music. There's absolutely nothing like composing an entire piece yourself. The guitar, drums, bass, vocals, lyrics, progression, production... I have so much fun creating songs, but that doesn't mean it isn't a lot of work. I don't think I've ever spent so much time dedicated to something like this. It can take up to well over a couple hundred hours to complete an entire piece, from beginning the composition, to writing the lyrics, to finishing the production and mixing.
Stooben: I have a spare bedroom that I do all my work in. It's really nothing special, and neither is the studio equipment I work with (a device that plugs into my laptop's USB port and is able to record every sound and note I make). So, the actual atmosphere I have to work with can be pretty aggravating... Having a 6'x8' area to record everything in can be very stressful and aggravating at times.
Stooben: Especially with all the 30' chords and wires I have to deal with, haha.
Stooben: I record basically everything in my free time off of work, then handle production late at night while most people are sleeping (since it's a quiet process, unlike playing instruments).
Stooben: Usually after about a month's straight work, a song is finished. I immediately copyright it, and then usually show it to a few close friends before uploading it to my Reverbnation profile and spreading the news on Facebook and Twitter.
Stooben: That may sound like a long time, but bear in mind it's just 1 person doing, like, a 15-person job. It's really my favorite thing, I do though. I don't imagine I'll ever stop recording music now that I know how.
Stooben: I'd even say it was a life-changing experience, as cheesy as that sounds.
Crocodile Dippy: A wonderful answer! I think it's a first for this section to get this sort of insight in to the actual recording and production process of music
Crocodile Dippy: It's great to see you doing the best with the equipment you have. I've grown up with a similar mentality of doing what you can with what life gives you. Life gives you lemons, make life take the lemons back.
Crocodile Dippy: I mean, make lemonade.
Crocodile Dippy: Now that we know why you love making music so much, how about an insight into why you love music so much in the first place?
Stooben: Hm...now that's a tough question to answer. I've always been listening to music, as far back as I can remember. The Beatles were the first group I really got into, because my parents loved them and actually owned their entire discography. Well, every major album release, anyway. I've always had fond associations with music, and honestly very few bad ones.
Stooben: My dad also plays guitar, and I was always fascinated with the instrument growing up. At an older age, other mediums such as karaoke and the Guitar Hero/Rock Band franchise helped solidify my interest in learning about more music and instrumentation as a whole.
Stooben: Silly as it may be, those games did help me initially get a grip on how to keep rhythm.
Crocodile Dippy: Probably gave you a unique grip on it, considering that professional guitarists suck at Guitar Hero and Rock Band
Stooben: Hehe, I hadn't considered that. I should host a Rock Band party one day and invite famous musicians. Then I can beat their scores and mock them!
Crocodile Dippy: Then Kerry King will smash your head in with a hammer, probably under the pretext of you being Wiccan.
Stooben: I wouldn't expect he would be giving me a Hammer-Smashed Face.
Stooben: Perhaps I should say a protection spell...
Crocodile Dippy: Cast the spell Eaten Back to Life. It's the best kind of spell because it makes no sense.
Stooben: That sounds painful.
Crocodile Dippy: On the exact opposite note of pain, what is your favourite music genre? I can't imagine it being brvtal death metal.
Stooben: Dubstep. No, but seriously, I guess I would have to say progressive rock is my favorite genre. Pink Floyd is my all-time favorite band; I love just about everything they've done, their progressions, experimentations, and wonderful melodies.
Stooben: But many of my other favorite artists, such as Rush, Peter Gabriel, Electric Light Orchestra (easily my #2 favorite band...though sometimes they are my favorite and Pink Floyd is second), and Yes.
Stooben: Also, Jethro Tull, but I don't want to hurt their feelings by calling them prog.
Crocodile Dippy: Goddammit, now all I can think about is the image of dubstep Pink Floyd.
Crocodile Dippy: "I have become comfortably numb, numb, numb, numb, numbnumbnumbnumb n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-numb... (HAHAHAHA) wub wub WUB"
Stooben: Let's get Lindsey Stirling to save the day.
Crocodile Dippy: That's a question for later, dammit. You're going too far ahead!
Crocodile Dippy: Let me push this back a bit; I absolutely love Pink Floyd. The only album of theirs I have currently is Dark Side of the Moon, but I have listened to The Wall in its entirety via the film adaptation.
Crocodile Dippy: Which I recall you and Groden being fans of. Gamefreak too, but who cares about him.
Stooben: The movie was totally weird, but I did indeed like it. Watched it with Groden through streaming one night. Granted, it has one of the best movie soundtracks ever, so brownie points there. But the entirety of the film was artful and unlike anything else I've seen before.
Stooben: The animation bits were great too.
Stooben: Probably my favorite parts of the actual film, if only for their imagination.
Crocodile Dippy: Yeah, it was certainly a gruesomely beautiful film.
Crocodile Dippy: I was going to ask who your favourite band is, but you've already answered that, you tiny jerk.
Stooben: *jerk chuckle*
Crocodile Dippy: Wipe that smug smirk off your face, chuckles. You're stuck in this room until the interview is over.
Crocodile Dippy: So moving on, is there any recent artist you'd love to see get more support?
Stooben: Hm, good question. Off the top of my head, as far as small-time indie artists go, I enjoy Anchorage Alaska. They're a rock group that try interesting formulas involving sitar, bongos, dulcimer, oud (i believe), and other world instruments you don't typically hear in rock music. They also revolve around a lot of vocal harmonies in some songs, such as "Banjo in Kashmir".
Stooben: You can hear some of their stuff here: http: // www . reverbnation . com / anchorage (Editor's note: Link split up due to wiki's spam filter.)
Stooben: For more popular artists that are recent, I think I'd have to say Bon Iver is my favorite from the last couple years. While I enjoyed their first album and it's stripped-down acoustic folk sound, I enjoy their second album much, much more. It's full of rich textures of guitars, violins, drums (2 simultaneous players!), keyboards, brass instruments, and layered vocal harmonies. "Perth", "Towers", and "Calgary", I think are my favorite of their songs, though the entire album of 'Bon Iver, Bon Iver' is truly beautiful.
Stooben: (that was a hard choice to make off the top of my head. damn yooouuuu)
Crocodile Dippy: I told you this would be a truly dismal, horrific experience.
Crocodile Dippy: Bet you wish you chose Canada now.
Stooben: Yes. >:(
Crocodile Dippy: Those are some interesting choices. I have heard of Bon Iver before, mostly due to Scarecrow's constant pluggings, but I've not had a chance to listen to their work yet. Anchorage Alaska is a new one to me, however; I'll probably be giving that a try sometime, because I cannot accept the position of not having listened to a band before!
Crocodile Dippy: But hopefully this interview gets them a bit more attention.
Stooben: You? Not hearing of a band?
Stooben: Surely, you jest!
Crocodile Dippy: I know, it's ridiculous. I must not be throwing enough piss at people.
Crocodile Dippy: Speaking of which, you're well-known around the community for being an avid Team Fortress 2 player alongside the #mariowiki crew. While I don't personally need someone to tell me why the game is so fantastic, would you care to elaborate on why you love the game so much?
Stooben: The multiplayer experience is my favorite part of the entire game, without a doubt. Though I think having a private server to practice and play on with friends has spoiled me a bit, I love the feeling of teamwork in this game, especially when your plans actually work. Saving people as a Medic that are an inch from death, saving a friendly Engineer's sentry from being destroyed as a Pyro, taking down enemy nests while being pocketed (that is, followed constantly) by a Medic...it's all very rewarding.
Stooben: Though, normal public servers lack this coordiation and it can get frustrating.
Stooben: Oh, I forgot to mention how fun it is to extinguish burning teammates with your own piss, as Sniper.
Stooben: because yes
Stooben: I also thoroughly enjoy all of the personalities of TF2's characters. It's really hard for me to pick a favorite amongst them
Crocodile Dippy: As a dedicated Sniper in Team Fortress 2, I can confirm that it is indeed a truly satisfying experience to throw piss at people.
Crocodile Dippy: It should be noted that Stooben has been playing Team Fortress 2 since the beginning of this interview, which should tell you all you need to know about his love for the game.
Stooben: It seems I am not the only one in this interview who cannot resist TF2's charms...
Crocodile Dippy: I just want to troll with Jarate+Tribalman's Shiv. F*** pubs.
Crocodile Dippy: Oh oops, I'll probably censor that when I edit this.
Crocodile Dippy: Quick, think of something witty to say to distract from the dirty language.
Stooben: We lost! I blame your potty-mouth.
Crocodile Dippy: I blame Martiniman and Groden counter-trolling.
Crocodile Dippy: Let's wage pocket war against them.
Stooben: this can only end badly
Stooben: for them!
Crocodile Dippy: If we don't make it through this interview, the readers will know why.
Stooben: oh god
Crocodile Dippy: NICE JOB PROTECTING ME
Stooben: so much...FIRE
Crocodile Dippy: Which is what I'll be if I don't get a move on with this interview.
Stooben: Tough bosses you got there, son
Crocodile Dippy: I don't know who my next boss is! God help me now!
Crocodile Dippy: So anyway, we know why you love Team Fortress 2, but why do you love games in general? What makes them so thrilling for you?
Stooben: Some people like to read books for an escape. A vast world full of characters you grow attachments to, where there are all sorts of choices for the protagonist to make.
Stooben: That's kind of what games are for me. I enjoy delving into a world where I can make those choices and interact with those characters.
Stooben: did we die again
Crocodile Dippy: Shush.
Crocodile Dippy: That's effectively what I love about games too. I think I've told you this before, but you should definitely check out The Walking Dead. It's a perfect example of interactive narrative.
Stooben: I can not wait 'til I am able to play that. Stupid laptop.
Crocodile Dippy: From there, I'll ask what your favourite video game is and why. Aside from Team Fortress 2.
Stooben: These questions are so evil. I hate you. ;-;
Crocodile Dippy: The next Saw movie stars me.
Stooben: oh god not those movies
Stooben: My first response would be Rock Band 3, but I think that's an unfair choice due to my bias towards music.
Stooben: This may be rather out-of-left-field, but I think I'd have to say my favorite non-TF2, non-music oriented game, is Gran Turismo 4. Though I absolutely love the entire series of games, I love the fourth installment because of it's massive selection of cars in the game (over 700 different models from around the world from over 100 years' time), the beautiful graphics in its many courses, and it's very brutal opponent AI.
Stooben: There are a ridiculous amount of unlockables, and much to do with multiplayer, though I haven't had many people to play with. I guess there aren't many people who like racing games. :P
Stooben: You can even unlock Jay Leno's Tank Car and the Delorean. With their original specs. It's amazing.
Crocodile Dippy: Can you travel through time?
Stooben: Well, there's a weird glitch that will make the entire course's graphics turn into a blur streak.
Stooben: Kind of resembles time travel.
Stooben: (a subject I am most certainly proficient in)
Crocodile Dippy: I will say that is a rather unorthodox choice, but it's nice to see variety on this site. I am fond of racing games, but I suck so much at them! Probably reflecting my driving ability in real life.
Crocodile Dippy: What is your take on Lancias?
Stooben: Hehe, I'm sure you are not that bad.
Stooben: Also, I find they are rather tough to handle in the games. But I am not sure if that's the case in real life.
Stooben: They DO make great rally cars on snow courses, though!
Crocodile Dippy: Who cares how they control? They're the sexiest thing on the planet.
Stooben: Oh goodness yes. I adore their designs. Especially their rears. ...is that disturbing?
Crocodile Dippy: The next director will probably be getting some emails concerning this, but I know what you mean regardless.
Crocodile Dippy: Moving on to something less creepy, let's turn back to what is usually the first question you ask; how did you find the wiki?
Stooben: Google. I was trying to find information about Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, I believe. Twas a long while ago, so I can't remember for sure. I remember joining the wiki and fixing a few typos and incorrect information in some of the TTYD articles. I also created some articles about enemy objects in Mario Kart: Double Dash.
Stooben: I had actually run across the wiki nearly two years prior to that, but I didn't know it was a website you could contribute to, so I didn't sign up at the time.
Crocodile Dippy: Stooby the Nooby
Stooben: OH THATS ORIGINAL
Crocodile Dippy: Can't really say Stoob the Boob, now can I?
Stooben: Not if you value your job!
Crocodile Dippy: Which I clearly don't.
Crocodile Dippy: Who was the first person you spoke to when you joined?
Stooben: Wayoshi, methinks. But that was over how I couldn't create a "User of the Month" section because of community rage.
Stooben: The first person I had an actual conversation with? Master Crash.
Stooben: It's so awesome that he's still around, considering he was pretty old-school even when I joined.
Crocodile Dippy: You know all about me and Crash's history. Or at least the current result of it.
Crocodile Dippy: He's a great person, now if only he'd stop being so awful.
Stooben: you loooove him
Crocodile Dippy: Getting Crash to stop being so lazy and do a music and artwork section for the 'Shroom will be the death of me.
Crocodile Dippy: It's amazing that your oldest friend here is still around, however.
Crocodile Dippy: Not quite so amazing that your first interaction had to be with Wayoshi.
Stooben: It certainly wasn't pleasant.
Crocodile Dippy: Never is with him.
Crocodile Dippy: Apologies to you if you're reading this, Wayoshi, but you are horrid at first impressions. And second impressions. Really, any impression.
Stooben: He's too busy watching The Price Is Right or something to be reading this. :P
Crocodile Dippy: On the note of bureaucrats, you've so far had the third longest run as a bureaucrat, after Coincollector and Porplemontage (arguable if the latter counts). What was it like being promoted to that position?
Stooben: I had only been a Sysop for, like, 2 months by the time I was promoted, so it was certainly unexpected. The responsibilities greatly increased with the position, so it's not just about promoting and renaming people.
Stooben: Though promoting someone is a damn cool feeling.
Stooben: It's honestly not such a bad gig, but you definitely have to have a lot of time to dedicate to the wiki and how everything runs.
Stooben: As far as policies go.
Stooben: Most editing stays the same, though. Just go about making your normal contributions to the encyclopedia part of the site. Nothing to see here.
Crocodile Dippy: Doesn't sound quite as arduous as many admins and regular users sometimes ponder. Would you ever wish for those days back?
Stooben: It's definitely a lot of responsibility. Don't let my short statements fool you.
Stooben: You have to make contributions pretty much daily. If not to the wiki, then to the Wiki Admins board on the forum, where all the wiki decisions are discussed.
Stooben: If I ever had the time for it again, sure. I'd probably take the responsibility on again. But I wouldn't want those responsbilities stacked with 'Shroom duties, forum modding, and running other websites at the same time, all together.
Stooben: That's just too much.
Stooben: forum moderating, i mean. not modding. Lol
Crocodile Dippy: Hack every forum moderator to be Randy Savage.
Crocodile Dippy: Speaking of your other duties, you were also the director of the 'Shroom for the better part of two years. Widely considered two of the most important years in the development of the newsletter, in fact. How was that experience for you?
Stooben: Pretty taxing at times, especially near release dates, but it was certainly a responsibility I enjoyed. Improving the writing standards for sections, the number of sections, and branching out content to not be strictly 'Mario'... A lot of changes happened then, but I couldn't have done even half of them without the help of my staff. Especially Tucayo during my inactive bouts.
Stooben: I think the 'Shroom calendar was introduced around then.
Stooben: Of course, these are all things SMB and his staff have improved upon GREATLY. I never expected The 'Shroom would be where it's at now, and man is it awesome to see.
Stooben: I quite enjoyed my time as Director and wouldn't trade those days for anything
Crocodile Dippy: I just wish I was around during those days. I was away in my room sulking and listening to awful emo metal at that time, I think.
Stooben: oh noooo, not those days
Stooben: Emo metal is bad for you
Crocodile Dippy: Goddamn it is. Glad I got away from it.
Crocodile Dippy: You speak highly of Tucayo during your terms, especially given that he covered for you plenty of times. What was it like working with him as your sub-director?
Crocodile Dippy: A very topical question, as well, given his candidacy for the 'Shroom Director position for 2013.
Stooben: I think he was more responsible and timely with getting everyone sections together, sending out warnings, and putting the actual issues up for release. He was certainly always very motivated, especially with new features and new writers being introduced to The 'Shroom.
Crocodile Dippy: But he never introduced Free Taco Month.
Crocodile Dippy: What a shame.
Stooben: Ooooh, how could I forget that? He better get around to that. >:(
Crocodile Dippy: If he wins, that is.
Crocodile Dippy: It's a tight one this year. And even though this is going out when the results are finalised, we obviously don't know how it's going to turn out at the time of this interview.
Stooben: I think it's still 14 - 14, which is the tightest I've ever seen any election here
Stooben: So what do we get if SMB wins? A drive-thru orange juice stand? I'm not sure which delicious food he stands for...
Crocodile Dippy: He stands for the letter A.
Stooben: That's not tasty.
Crocodile Dippy: It could be!
Crocodile Dippy: What's also tasty is The Xephyr Board, a semi-private forum founded by you that's become the residence of many a retired user. What compelled you to create the board, and what's it been like managing it?
Stooben: If I recall, I created it because I (and some other users) had grown a bit tired of the super-strict rules of both the MarioWiki and Userpedia forums at the time. I wanted a place where we could all chill out and talk about whatever we wanted to without having the mods bust our chops. Then again, I was one of the mods. Doesn't mean I didn't want to just let my hair down once in a while, though. :P
Crocodile Dippy: You created it alongside Volke, correct?
Crocodile Dippy: Or Zero Two, as he's likely more known by our readers.
Stooben: Managing it is easy enough... Pay the bills and keep the software up-to-date. The place is sleepy, so it doesn't really need moderating like a busy forum. People usually keep the peace there, too.
Stooben: And yes, that is correct. Volke and I created it originally on Invisionfree ( a free forum-hosting software), but we eventually moved to SMF as it was something more customizable, and a software I was also more familiar with.
Stooben: I probably made owning the place sound really boring... Haha, I do enjoy being able to keep everything running, though, even if I don't post much there these days.
Crocodile Dippy: It's a quiet forum, which suits most of us.
Crocodile Dippy: It's enjoyed a rather notorious reputation for many years, however. Do you feel that's died down a bit in recent years?
Stooben: Yeah. Some of us used to be really aggressive and use Xephyr to gripe about users behind their backs (yes, even me!). But I think the community there hasn't been that way in well over a year, probably more like two.
Stooben: I think we're a pleasant crowd to be around now. We just joke around and talk about normal stuff.
Crocodile Dippy: Actually talking about Xephyr Board being a resting spot for retired users has reminded me; are there any AWOL users you really miss?
Stooben: Stumpers, I think would be who I miss most. He was just a really nice guy to talk to and work with. He was also one of my 'Crat bros, along with Time Q. (We all got promoted on the same night.)
Stooben: I also miss Time Q for similar reasons. Another very nice, level-headed guy. I admired their edits, too.
Stooben: Oh, and of course Xzelion... That pretzel-loving fool.
Crocodile Dippy: You can still contact Xzelion through Crash, at least.
Crocodile Dippy: I've done it every so often.
Crocodile Dippy: Usually we talk about the latest games coming out, seems we're both interested in The Last of Us.
Crocodile Dippy: I do remember Stumpers well, though. He was a lovely person to talk to, a true friend. I think everyone misses him, actually.
Crocodile Dippy: I didn't have much to do with Time Q, though, so I can't really comment.
Crocodile Dippy: I know he had interesting music tastes.
Stooben: Stumpers was indeed a good friend to many. I hope spme day he will make a return if only for a week or so
Stooben: Time Q... I surprisingly don't remember much about his musical tastes, aside from that he liked Muse a LOT.
Stooben: I will have to start abusing Crash as a contact to Xzelion, too.
Crocodile Dippy: Moving away from the Wiki for a bit now, what other personal interests do you have outside music and gaming?
Stooben: Photography, though I'm by no means a professional. I enjoy taking pictures of landscapes and people and sometimes just random objects. I've also made a few light paintings by take pictures of neon signs at night; I reduce the camera's shutter speed greatly, then move the camera around in all sorts of directions while the picture is being taken. Usually it takes about 5-7 seconds before the pictures is finally taken...and by then, it looks like a digital Pollock piece. Totally screwy with colors everywhere, but it looks cool.
Stooben: I also enjoy cooking quite a lot. I experiment with all sorts of flavors in the kitchen. I can definitely hold my own when it comes to cooking, but cooking beef properly...that still gives me the hardest time to this day.
Crocodile Dippy: Doing better than me. The best I can do is make pasta. Which I don't mind.
Crocodile Dippy: Photography is a fascinating hobby, I especially love scenic photos. Sounds like you've created a few intriguing pieces, you'll have to show us all some of it someday. If you're at all interested in learning more about photography you should definitely have a chat with Anton; it's one of his primary studies at the moment.
Stooben: Anton did tell me about that early last year. I was quite fascinated in what he had to say. I've seen some of his photographs, and he definitely has a far better eye than I. :P
Stooben: I may have to ask him some questions if I start wanting to experiment with picture-taking some more.
Crocodile Dippy: He's always happy to yammer on about the things he loves doing, so you're in luck.
Stooben: Sounds like me, lol
Crocodile Dippy: Well shit, seems we've been going on for a long time. You've got an interesting history on this site, mate. A wonder it's been you that's been doing all the interviews; they're all less interesting than you.
Stooben: Nawww. I think many people have done more intriguing things around the wiki and have equally fascinating hobbies.
Stooben: (was that too modest)
Crocodile Dippy: You are a pansy, goddammit. Forget I even said anything.
Stooben: i will have your job for this
Stooben: ...wait...i already did...
Crocodile Dippy: I have nothing left to lose!
Crocodile Dippy: And so, we end this on one final question.
Crocodile Dippy: Is this the last question? Or is this just fantasy?
Stooben: This question is making me feel caught in a landslide... Is there no escape from reality?!
Crocodile Dippy: Open your eyes, look up the skies and seeee... me, because I'm so much taller than you.
Stooben: You mean ol' crocodile man.
Stooben: To give you serious answer, I think it was impossible for that to be the last question. Not only because you asked another question right afterwards, but because I am certain you will ask even more questions in the future.
Stooben: So it is very, very far from the last question.
Crocodile Dippy: Silly Stooben, none of this even happened. We're all dead. Since December 21st, in fact.
Stooben: My dreams! My future! All gone! :(
Stooben: How did we die?
Crocodile Dippy: Custard comet.
Crocodile Dippy: It smothered the world in its gooey, delicious horror.
Stooben: That's not the jelly donut death I wanted, but I suppose it will do.
Crocodile Dippy: Welp folks, I ran out of material the second this interview started, so best we wrap this up now.
Crocodile Dippy: Thank you for taking several hours out of your morning to be trapped in a room filled with vague, stupid questions.
Crocodile Dippy: You may go now.
Stooben: Don't I get a prize moose or something?
Crocodile Dippy: Don't push your luck, or you'll be ficking up pirple flowers
Stooben: They will look absolutely smashing on my majestic pirple mountains
Crocodile Dippy: Good, now leave my office! I have very important things to do, like sleeping and preparing my Jarate!
Stooben: Sounds exhausting! But I should do one of those things too...
Stooben: Seeya around, 'Shroomigos.
Stooben: And thanks for the interview, Crocodile Man.
Crocodile Dippy: Get. Out.
Crocodile Dippy: Don't make me get the Sydney Sleeper out.
Stooben: *steals moose*
Stooben: *keeps running*
Crocodile Dippy: YOU BETTER RUN
Crocodile Dippy: As should this interview. GOODBYE, READERS! THANKS FOR... READING!
What, are you still here? Didn't you learn about how important, influential, and radical Stooben is? If you didn't, then go back and read over this interview again, you lowly maggots! You will not have dinner until you learn some respect, soldier! Now get the hell back in there and learn to appreciate those who've poured their heart and soul into this website and its community before you were learning what the minor edit button even does! Teeeeeen HUT!
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