The 'Shroom:Issue 64/Nintendo 64 Memories
Sometime in June (I think), Dippy asked me to write a section for the ‘Shroom. I promptly accepted, and then forgot about it until
a day before it was due two days after it was due 4 days late two weeks late 4 days late (Author’s note: Don’t believe this idiot, I didn’t forget about it).
For me, the N64 is a bunch of hazy memories of shredding my hands in Mario Party, beating my sister at Diddy Kong Racing, and being too scared to go into the basement of the castle in Super Mario 64. The N64 was the system I grew up with (along with the Gameboy colour). It will always have a special place in my heart, even though most of the games that we owned were borrowed from my older brother’s friend and never returned. The N64 was the only system my Dad ever enjoyed playing, and the only console that sent me to the school nurse.
Today my N64 is somewhere in the basement (I think). I served me and my family for years on end and for that it is my favourite console today. An allstar lineup of games that brought all the boys to the yard were the worlds I spent many a day lost in. My games ranged from Pokemon Stadium 2 to Banjo-Kazooie (which I never liked *cough* Smasher *cough*).
Editors Note: At this point, the author went into a coma from which he has not yet recovered. The rest of this article will be auctioned off for advertising space.
Oh man, what do I do now? I’m completely out of ideas. Maybe I can fill the rest with pointless filler and no one will notice! Authors do it all the time! This reminds me of the time I was down in New Mexico hunting ducks. Now, of course, I didn’t have a Visa or a passport, so crossing the border was quite a challenge. So, I took some advice from my cousin Rodriguez, and bought a hang glider. So, I purchased a hang glider from Rooney’s Sporting goods store. Now, a hang glider costs about eight hundred dollars, but I only had sixty eight ninety nine. Luckily, I pulled some strings with Oprah Winfrey to get a deal on hang gliders. After that, I realized that squirrel season was over and that I’d have to try again next year.
If you’ve made it this far, something is wrong with you. I really am not very interesting, so I can’t comprehend how you would be willing to read four hundred and forty one words of me ranting. Unfortunately, if you’re reading this, you’ve wasted too much of your valuable life on me, and cannot be saved. I hope you’ll realize that the rest of this article is just going to be me making dumb jokes and stuff. I wouldn’t even read it if I were you. You probably will though, so I’ll stop you the only way I can, by ending this right now.