User:Winstein/Sandbox

Wario Press Conference

(Chatters are heard from a crowd. Soon, there were silence)

Wario: Hello-a, you rotten people out there, it is me, Wario! [laughs loudly] Wahahahahaha! And I'm-a got something important to say, so pay attention, or I smash you. [giggles] Heeheeheehee! My newest video game-a, WarioWare Incorporated, Mega Microgame-ses, is-a brilliant. Of course it's-a brilliant; it's-a starring me! And, I'm-a coming out with another new game: Wario World! [giggles] Heeheeheehee! Also please, also starring me! Oh Mama Mia... thinking about this makes me so excited, I just want to smash-a somebody! Come here, maybe I smash you! [giggles] Heehee! My new game would be on Nintendo Game-a-cube-a. Oh yeah, I'm on top of the world-the now, oh yeah! Now, I am on every game-a system. You should like I should be: watch out for Mario. I'm-a takin' over now, baby, and I am only gettin'-a started. Mama Mia, Wario almost forget! Wario World and WarioWare Incorporated feature Nintendo exceptional collective game-a-play. Mama Mia! Doesn't that just blow your tiny little minds? Puff! I knew that it would. Wa-what are you waiting for, you pundits? Stop messin' around, start reportin', get up there, sell the game-ses, make-a me rich! Wah-hahahaha! And have a rotten day. [raspberries] Thbbbbpht. I'm-a such a stinker. Okey-dokey. Shut up and start asking questions!

(Reporters call for Wario's attention)

Wario: All right, you! the googly guy in the pink-a shirt!
Louie: Yeah, it's me, Louie, from the Diamond City Herald. Yo, Wario! What makes you think your new company WarioWare Inc. will be a success?
Wario: Wha- are you cuckoo-crazy? What are you buying? Everything I'm-a do turns to success! I'm-a brilliant. Everything I'm-a touch turns to green and gold! Security, take that loser out of here!

(Reporters call for Wario's attention)

Wario: Alright! Uh...yeah you! That short guy with the glasses.
Polly: Yes, this is Polly from the Club Sugar Daily News. In your new game, Wario World, your money turns into monsters. What's your grand plan for getting it back?
Wario: Well, I've-a got a question for you to, Polly. Want a cracker? [laughs loudly] Wah-hahahahaha! Ah-hahahaha! I'm-a so funny, I've make myself laugh! [Continues laughing out loud] Ah-hahahahahah! Seriously, in this game, you've got to use my impressive body and mental genius to battle a bunch of idiotic monsters, and turn them back into treasures. I'm-a not-a worried at all. I'm-a gonna stomp-a those dimwit-ses, and-a suh-mack around like they're little bugs. Smack, stomp! Smack, stomp! Ooooh... they will all fear... Wario! [Laughs] Ah-hahahahah! I hope I make you scared too, Polly. Ah!

(Reporters call for Wario's attention)

Wario: Wow, humma-humma ding-a-dong! How about you there, babe-boo-licious babe? [Growls] Rehrrr!
Lindsey: Hi Wario, this is um, like, Lindsay from WNN, Wario News Network.
Wario: Oooo, hello, babe-boo-licious.
Lindsey: Hi. Um, so, like, in Wario World, you're starring for the first time in 3D. Like, is this more exciting than in other you've been in?
Wario: You better believe it, baby! Of course it is. 3D offers more Wario for everyone to admire and adore, and worship. [Growls] Ehrrr! I'm-a also look-a so groov-a-licious on that screen, Mama Mia! You'll all gonna be so jealous watching my moves! Admit it, all you losers out there, you already wish you were me! [Laughs] Ah-hahahahahah! And you babe-boo-licious babes wish you could all be with me, eh? [Growls] Rehrrr!

(Reporters call for Wario's attention)

Wario: Yeah, you, the beanpole!
Stewie: Uh yeah, Stewie, from, uh, DCBNTV, Diamond City Broadcasting Network.
Wario: Uh-huh?
Stewie: How do you feel about the over-the-top wrestling-style moves that you have at your disposal in Wario World?
Wario: Well really, no different than I usually feel: powerful and great, and basically the coolest guy in the world, able to smash somebody! Now, tell me something, Mr. Louie. How would you feel if I'm-a smash-a you? Smash! Smash! Come back here! Smash! Smash! I'm gonna to smash you!

(Reporters call for Wario's attention)

Wario: Yes, my darling?
Stella: Yeah, I'm Stella from Me Magazine.
Wario: Humma-humma ding-a-dong, you sure are. (I have no idea what this one means in the context of the discussion)
Stella: Wario, now that you have your new castle, what's next?
Wario: Well, I'm-a gonna fill it with some more treasures, what else? My castle is gonna rank-a number one. Just-a like-a me, [Chuckles] heh-heh! And then maybe you like to come up and uh, seat-a! (Not sure what this part is) Uh, play with my golden coin-ses. [Giggles] Heeheeheeheeheeheehee! Maybe I put-a spaghetti meatball sauce all over you. [Laughs] Hahahahahah! Okey dokey.

(Reporters call for Wario's attention)

Wario: You, the hunny-wunny, [Growls] Rehrrr!
Geretta: Hi, Wario, this is Geretta from dot com. Wario: Hello, Geretta. Geretta: Hello. Will you ever be financially satisfied? Wario: I'm-a don't know. Will you ever be as enchanting as me? (Laughs) Nobody is!

(Crowd calls for Wario)

Wario: Ah, you, the short guy! Stan: Yeah, Stan, SDRFM Radio, Sugar Daddy Radio, Stan the Man. Wario, What d' you really think of your rival Mario? Wario: Well, Stanny-the-nanny, you are real cuckoo-crazy to mind to ask me the question I am to answer! You're lookin' for a good smashin'! Mario...Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes...now there's another guy who's lookin' for a smashin'. [Imitating Mario] Hello, it's-a me, Mr. Goody-Two-Shoe Mario! Grrrrr...he-a can't-a hold-a candle like-a me; he-a wishes he were me; he-a want to be powerful like-a Wario! But he never will. Ooooo...hey, Stanny-the-nanny, remind me to smash you later on!

(Crowd calls for Wario)

Wario: Yeees...? Bumpkin: Bumpkin, from the Diamond Enquirer. Hey Wario, Any special lady in your life? Wario: Naaah...come on, who has-a time for women these-a days, eh? Besides, there are plenty of people begging to get a piece, of-a me. But I'm-a too powerful to be bothered. The only lady in my life, is cold-hearted...Miss Gold Coins. Oh yeah, oh yeah, Miss-a Gold Coins.

Wario: Okey-dokey, enough of idle chit-chat. I've got to go back to make-a my money, and have a rotten day! (let's out a suppressed air sound effect)