The 'Shroom:Issue 105/Critic Corner: Difference between revisions

Still, it’s a done deal, so there’s no use complaining. The first Macguffin lies with [[Goldbob]], who's holding on to the permission slip/user manual for the artillery, and you need to backtrack to Chapter 7's location, [[Poshley Heights]], for it. Goldbob, being a greedy silver spoon, asks for all of your money before he can give it to you. Thankfully, he was just kidding, and gives you the [[Goldbob Guide]] free of charge. This is a good way to do a fetch quest, letting you demonstrate just how far you're willing to go to move on in a single piece of dialog. Of course, the best fetch quest is always no fetch quest, but you need to take your small victories when you get them. Now, take that small victory and throw it straight out the window and into the nearest garbage dump, because what you'll have to deal with next sucks any hope out of you.

The second Macguffin is in the proverbial hands of [[General White]], who you may ''vaguely'' remember as being all the way back in Petalburg, Chapter 2's setting. Once you're there, the general's nowhere to be found, but a handy [[Koopa Troopa]] tells you that he may have visited a "southern island," which of course refers to [[Keelhaul Key]] from Chapter 5, and once you've arrived, General White is missing again, but a friendly Bob-omb tells you that he may have gone to "an arena," and by this point, you've noticed the pattern. The game literally requires you to run back to nearly '''all''' of your own locations, and this includes Petalburg, Keelhaul Key, [[Glitzville]], [[The Great Tree]], and [[Twilight Town]], talk to a random NPC, and repeat the cycle again. You'll go through this process five times before the last person in this daisy chain tells you that "looked tired," which is such a vague clue that Mario has no idea what it could mean, and thus heads to the mayor to deliver the bad news. While you're talking, General White pops out his house for a few seconds before calmly going back. This entire quest was a joke, and you were the punchline. "Punchline" is especially appropriate in that I want to punch something.