The 'Shroom:Issue XXXVIII/Fake News: Difference between revisions

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==Director’s Notes==

I’m back (in black)!  Welcome to another issue of the Fake News.  As always, we are looking for more writers, so sign up below if you are interested in writing any of the following sections:

Sign up on this list in the <nowiki>{{User|Username}}</nowiki> format.  If there are no more spaces available, feel free to add a space for yourself with the <nowiki>#</nowiki> sign.

If you aren’t interested in the Fake News, but want to write for another ’Shroom position, please contact {{User|Stooben Rooben}} or {{User|Tucayo}} for main team positions, {{User|Marioguy1}} or {{User|Super Mario Bros.}} for Pipe Plaza, {{User|Z3r0 Tw0}} for Fun Stuff, and {{User|Paper Pikachu}} for Art & Music.

Come to sunny [[Bianco Hills]]!  We’ve got water, people who throw you, and a lot of [[Goop]]. …wait a minute…[[Mario]] was supposed to deal with that crap.  Um…that’s not good…does anyone want a sequel?  That’s actually a pretty good idea.  Anyway, you get to spray stuff and see big plants with thorns.  We could tell you a lot more, but we’d get in trouble if you live in a spoiler-free zone.  In any case, come to our sunny patch of paradise (and Goop) today!  A trip for four costs just $599.99, including round-trip airfare and hotels.

==Fake Game: ''Super Mario: World of Mushroom==

Greetings, dear readers of The ’Shroom. This is Edofenrir, and today we are going to check out another yet-to-be-revealed game from Nintendo’s secret treasure vault. This month Nintendo seems to explore a whole new genre, but let us first see how I got my hands on this brand new info.

|colspan="2"|<center>''As of the beginning of day 8''</center>

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!colspan="2" style="font-size:125%" |'''Doomdrael Ravenhunter'''

|colspan="2"|Blooper… Oh hey, that’s me! I’m a Blooper Ninja, yay! Anyway, I am the group’s swift guy and as such have the highest agility. Very suited for doing quick attacks.

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!colspan="2" style="font-size:125%" |'''2257 the Great, Destroyer of Planets'''

|colspan="2"|Our main melee guy, despite his low HP. Can club things with his bone club and does undead things like auto-reviving himself.

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!colspan="2" style="font-size:125%" |'''Laurus'''

|colspan="2"|Our secondary melee guy. Fights with fruit, but secretly dreams of wielding a sword.

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!colspan="2" style="font-size:125%" |'''Walkazo'''

|colspan="2"|As an offensive-aligned mage, she is our damage dealing unit. She also comes up with the most strategy and saves us when <s>I screw up</s> something happens.

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!colspan="2" style="font-size:125%" |'''SMB'''

|colspan="2"|Our versatile guy. His usefulness depends on the monsters he befriends. He has to make pacts before he is of any use, though.

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!colspan="2" style="font-size:125%" |'''Stoobario'''

|colspan=3|'''Toads'''

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!Toad Soldier<br>''Spears''<br>A balanced melee unit. Can randomly begin to panic in battle.

|colspan=3|'''Goombas'''

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!Spiky Goomba<br>''Weird hats''<br>Classic offensive melee unit. Attacks with its head.

|colspan=3|'''Koopas'''

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!Hammer Bro.<br>''Hammers''<br>Classic defensive melee unit. Gets to wield the best weapons in the game.

|colspan=3|'''Yoshis'''

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!Yoshi Scout<br>''Whistles''<br>Classic beast master unit. Tames and controls monsters in battle.

!Yoshi Shaman<br>''Magical Rods''<br>Uses nature magic to trap enemies with vines and drop Chomp Rocks on them.

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|colspan=3|'''Shy Guys'''

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!Bandit<br>''hands''<br>Known as the “Fist of the Mushroom”. Fights with his hands and energy attacks.

|colspan=3|'''Spooks'''

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!Dry Bones<br>''Bone Clubs''<br>Offensive melee unit. Has very low HP but can revive itself as long as it has FP.

|colspan=3|'''Metal Beings'''

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!Chomp<br>''Braces''<br>A melee unit that combines offensive and defensive qualities.

|colspan=3|'''Sea Creatures'''

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!Cheep Cheep<br>''Tridents''<br>This unit combines close-range melee with basic attack magic.

After spending a relatively short time on the character selection screen I settled for a Blooper wearing a toga for some reason. I named him “Doomdrael Ravenhunter”, which is a really cool sounding name, hands down. Then I dressed my Blooper up like a ninja, and finally I began playing the actual game.

So, the game began with Doomdrael being washed ashore, having lost all his memories of past happenings. So far, so good. I looked around and found myself on a deserted coast, being stripped of everything I had, including a weapon. I checked the manual and found out that my character uses hats with various blades attached to them as a weapon. My chances of finding something crazy like that in the wild were pretty slim. Fortunately I managed to come across a shop (in a cave) specialized in exactly that kind of contraptions made from driftwood. Since I was in a desperate situation I decided to buy one of the weird hats, but when I questioned the shop owner’s logic for setting up a hat shop at a deserted coast, he got angry and threw me out.

===Day 9: More Fate and Stuff===

The next day we managed to get back to the small town and presented the bagel to the old man. “Well done, young travelers,” the old man said while eating our hard-earned bagel, “Anyone who can get a bagel is worthy of being called a great hero. Now you must visit the Town of No Name, just across vicious Placeholder Mountains. You must do this because it is your destiny. But before that you should spend all your money in this town, because nothing is more fun than traveling with your pockets full of trash that slows you down.”

by {{User|Baby Mario Bloops}}

==Fake Ads==

by {{User|Gamefreak75}}

As you all know, [[Super Mario Galaxy 2]] will be released in about a week…*audience applauds*

One of our [[Special:MyPage|customers]] stated “''Wow! I am so high right now. I mean, I can literally touch the clouds. It’s like I’m walking on air.''” And indeed he/she was walking on air.

==Fake Sports==