MarioWiki:BJAODN/Proposals/April Fool's 2018
New features[edit]
Pie for Everyone. Pie for EVERYONE. Pie. For. ALL.[edit]
vetoed by the administrators
Thankfully the alarms Porple set up worked and I wasn't too far away. I've sanitized the proposal list and this archive page, so it shouldn't spread the infohazard. The following is an inoculation counter-meme set up for us via aid from outside sources. Just looking at it should help clear up any further pie-like thoughts. Let me know if there are any further issues, and I am sorry about all this. - Ghost Jam
I know what you're expecting. It's the first of April, I know many of you hope for one of Ghost Jam's little pie stories. I'm sorry to tell you this, but...this isn't going to be one. Or at least not precisely. If you've jumped straight to this paragraph and didn't look at the proposal title, I'd suggest maybe scrolling down to something else that needs voting on. This is your last chance. Don't look up, don't read on, don't vote. Just either scroll on quickly or close your browser tab.
My name is Nae. I'm Ghost Jam's partner. You might have noticed his absence the last several weeks. While that in of itself isn't odd behavior for him, he's still normally home at least some of the time. But I haven't seen him either. I was starting to worry, so I poked through his study. I knew this wasn't a good idea. It's an unspoken rule that the untrained don't mess with tools from the unknown. On his desk was a dark leather case with a few files inside. There were several things about this that were strange. Firstly, the case was open. It might be difficult to understand why this is odd, but if you live with someone who dabbles in the ethereal enough, you begin to learn that nothing stays open long. Secondly, the contents appeared be a combination of both paper documents and holo-constructs from a datascape. Thirdly...well, the fact that it was a holo-construct from the infosphere in analog space. That requires either an enormous source of magic or a supreme act of mechanical engineering. But...it was just sitting there, like any old stack of papers. I had to look. Forgive me, I had to look.
It's too late now, by the way. You can't leave, you can't scroll on. All roads will lead back here.
As many of you know, Ghost Jam is one of various notable talents thaumaturgical study that find employ in the Infosphere. I knew I shouldn't have looked, he's warned me before that the untrained shouldn't mess with the occult, but I was just so worried. I can only hope that you...and so we're clear, when I say you, I don't mean that in the general, open sense, I'm speaking specifically to you, the one reading this...are strong enough to withstand what is to come. Otherwise we're all in a lot of trouble.
The following is the content of the file I found.
I really am sorry for this.
But I have to share it.
And now that you've come this far, you have to read it.
There is no choice for either of us now.
Anomaly #0103-Wiki
Notes - September 2007
This isn't going to read like my normal reports. Normally, I attempt to list the facts of my discovery, rate the danger level and jot down how I plan to handle the problem, perhaps going into more details about collaborations with other thaumaturgical researchers. And trust me when I say, in the days since Porplemontage first gave me access to the datascape, I've discovered several scary...let's call them monsters...down here. But this one is different. This is something big, that broke in from the Infoshpere outside of our little Wiki bubble and began to fester under the weight of information we've piled on over the years. I'm not yet sure where or when it got in, but dealing with it is the first problem to be solved, stopping the spread will be the next.
This...effect, I guess would be the way to think of it, is a meme of sorts that effects users who take on the title of editor, either granted by others or taken by personal choice, and encourages them to add or otherwise embellish false information articles in a given Wiki's database. In the first stages, this is nearly indistinguishable from standard 'new editor' behavior. As the meme takes hold, however, this escalates into anger and destructive behavior. In several cases I've observed, effected users will continue to add false information and argue the point well past a reasonable point. Eventually, and I don't believe this part is an effect of the meme, rather a result of general human frustration, users will begin to not engage effected users and allow the changes they have forced to stay. The transition between these two states seems to happen fairly quickly and is highly contagious. You see, the third stage starts as soon as the changes made by effected users is no longer disputed. At this point, the article becomes an instance of the meme and is capable to spreading it to others. Infection happens instantaneously to anyone who reads the article. User infected with the meme in this way jump directly to the second stage of infection. Really, the contagious part is what makes this thing so scary. I've seen it jump across a few users all ready, but it seems to be...growing, if that makes sense, with each person. I fear that if this isn't gotten under control soon, it could grow large enough to engulf entire userbases in a matter of minutes. I'll see what I can come up with.
Notes - October 2007
I've learned more about this meme, which I'm now calling an infohazzard after some consultation with Foundation researchers. It acts on people knowing about it. Knowing what it does, what it is, causes a person to act out in the way described in my previously submitted notes. However, an knowing about it is only the first part. The second part is taking it seriously. Most individuals take what is given to them at face value and so fall subject to the infohazzards effect. The key, I think, is identifying when the infohazzard is in effect and then finding a way to make people think it's a joke and not worth engaging with.
Notes - November 2007
I think...we've done it. Took some collaboration with some of the other wikis talents, but I believe we have the infohazzard contained and a vaccine being spread. Basically, I created an "serious" proposal with the intent of luring in the infection (about pies, of all things), which I then played off like a joke, the seriousness of the idea being the joke. Once I had confirmed infection (Son of Sons will be missed.....), a framework of paracode created by Wayoshi was set up to act as a kind of cage on the Infosphere side. The cage was then seeded by Walkazo with breed of healing flower she specifically crafted for our needs. While on the analog plane, I tossed a net of thaumaturgical energies around the database entry. In effect, we've locked it down to one place, and, via Walkazo's plants, created a way to spread the 'anti-meme' to anyone who reads the entry. We'll monitor it, but....I think we've got this under control for now.
Note - April 2014
I've been away from the wiki proper for some time now, so I thought it a good idea to check in on the 'cage'. For lack of a less complicated and more precise way to explain this, the cage needed some maintenance. Sadly, Wayoshi has long since left us and we don't any anyone else on hand with the same level of skill in paracode to work out improvements to the cages framework. It took some doing, but I believe the shielding magic Walkazo had learned once assuming her 'Kazo form mixed with stronger 'ropes' in my thaumaturgical net, the framework should hold up. We had to create another joke proposal, however, to make the cage bigger. We'll need to find a new solution, though.
Note - April 2015
We've had to expand the cage again. It's becoming too much and the Walkazo's vaccine is becoming less effective. I've taken my 'net' and anchored it on the analog plane, in the form of, well, forms. I feel rather proud of myself on this one, since the analog plane operates on a different set of physics, so long as the documents stay were I put them, a large chunk of the infection will stay put. Given these additions, we agree that the cage should hold, as is, for at least a few more years. We'll be taking the time to come up something better. We have to.
Notes - The Age of Pies
Pies.
Pies.
Pies.
PIES.
PIES.
P.I.E.S.
Damn it, damn it, hold on.
Ok, here's the deal. The infection has grown too strong to touch, but not strong enough to break the cage. I've had people contacting me near constantly for years with 'new joke ideas' for further pie proposals and the bound document in my office has become a spread vector. Just seeing it compels a person to read it and reading it causes full infection and with a completely new symptom to needing to spread it. I'd rather not pie about how I know about that pie, if you see what I'm pie-ing.
Crap, this is hard to resist. I'm going to lock this thing up and hope the physical lock holds. If anyone is reading this document, know this: You're screwed. This version of the infection is not like the one you just read about this. This one can't be ignored or make a joke of. It'll spread and you will spread it. However, and this kills me to say, I've come up with the only counter measure I could think of. I've laced this paragraph with a counter-meme or sorts. You'll be compelled to post this to the proposals page first. With any luck, the measures we set up will slow the infection enough to set off the security alarms and get someone on the job.
Pie help you all.
So there you have it. I can already feel the urge to spread this to other places tapering off...but it's still there. Try to resist, that's my only advice. For the love of Pie, you have to. PIE.
Proposer: Ghost Jam (talk)
Proposed Deadline: When the deed is done, by the will of PIE.
- Wildgoosespeeder (talk) Pie
- Alex95 (talk) - I WANT PIE!
- LuigiMaster123 (talk) - Pie is the best food ever. Anybody who says otherwise is wrong. :)
- Niiue (talk) i demand pie
- TheFlameChomp (talk) Pie is the best! We all need pie!
- Mario jc (talk) Sure, I can go for pie.
- Baby Luigi (talk) Ладно, почему бы и нет.
- Wildgoosespeeder (talk) PIE
- Wildgoosespeeder (talk) P.I.E.
- Ultimate Mr. L (talk) I have always been depressed that I was not there to turn the tides of those old PIE proposals. LONG LIVE PIE!!!!
- Superchao (talk) It's too late. I can only vote, and hope that I can find a way.
- Wildgoosespeeder (talk) PRAISE THE PIE
- Shokora (talk) – You got me at the word 'Pie'.
- Mario jc (talk) Amen all
- Waluigi Time (talk) pie
- LuigiMaster123 (talk) Pie was created for our sins.
Removals[edit]
Remove the above pie proposal[edit]
passed - Pie proposal got removed, lol
The above, because pie is not fly. Pizza beatsya. Doc von Schmeltwick (talk) 00:51, 1 April 2018 (EDT)
Proposer: Doc von Schmeltwick
Deadline: When the pie hits your eye, like the moon in the sky.
- Doc von Schmeltwick (talk)Pai must dai
- Super Radio (talk) There is no need to enforce such a lousy regulation upon other users. Vandalism is vandalism! You can't stop it.
- Wildgoosespeeder (talk) Peach's Cake is better and I hope she made lotsa Spaghetti!
- LuigiMaster123 (talk) I'm not ashamed to admit it.
- YoshiFlutterJump (talk) I never played Hotel Mario though...
Note: Subjects who opposed the P.I.E. proposal were later terminated upon discovery that they had accessed prohibited files in the database only designated to supreme-class personnel. They were later un-redacted when the Supreme Thwomp Overlords devoured the souls of the supreme-class personnel for not delivering them their feather duster tribute. The proposer was then resurrected in the form of a purple leering gorilla.
Miscellaneous[edit]
Create administrative position of SUPREME[edit]
I think it’s time to rethink the balance of power on this wiki. The administrative staff does not hold enough power. Sure, they can delete pages, block users, and such. But they can’t control each individual user. And control is the key.
Likewise, the ordinary users have far too much power. All on their own, they make huge changes to pages and even the wiki as a whole, simply because it’s something the majority agrees on—and sometimes changes are made outright without any consultation at all! (The moving of Off Wave to Off Waves is a prime example. Such an act really should have been discussed at the very least!)
Therefore, I propose that a new position be established: SUPREME (Super-Ultimate Presiding Ruler of the Entire MarioWiki Empire). I also propose that I myself be made first SUPREME, of which there is only one of at a time. This would give me complete control over everything wiki-related. I would have access to the source code, for one thing, and be able to control what privileges any given user has. I believe I am fully qualified for this great responsibility. After all, I decided a long time ago that I was admin material. And who better to decide who’s admin material than the future SUPREME?
What cause do you have to support this radical plan? Well, think about it. You would no longer have to shoulder the responsibilities of making your own decisions! You could live the Mario-related part of your life in total IQ-dropping bliss! Still skeptical? Don’t worry. Every person who supports me will receive…(drum roll please)…
A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF WAFFLES!
And not just any waffles! Pick any topping! Any flavor! Strawberries! Cheesecake! Syrup! Chocolate! Charcoal! And dare I suggest it…FAWFUL WAFFLES!!!
Of course, I would recognize all who supported me through my years on the wiki. Alex95, for example, would be promoted to position of Captain of the Guard. As a Patroller, he has proven to be quite adept at apprehending vandals. Yoshi the SSM would become Chief Secretary and Treasurer, and Luigi 64DD’s status as a Critic Corner writer would make him a valuable Critical Analyzer and Advisor. Porplemontage, of course, would be given the option either to retire with a large severance package (of waffles), or stay on as Prime Minister, with access to source code and semi-limited control over users.
Of course, this new system may take some getting used to. But you’ll find that sacrificing every bit of freedom and individuality you have was the best decision you ever made! And when you see me at my coronation, my green-and-black crown being lowered onto my electrified head, you’ll think, “I did this! I supported Ultimate Mr. L! I saved the Super Mario Wiki!”
If you want to think at all, that is.
NOTE: If you or a user you know happens to be a pig, it’s only fair to warn you that not only are pigs not tolerated in the New MarioWiki Empire, they are also Warned, Blocked, Baconized, and mixed in with waffles.
Proposer: Ultimate Mr. L (talk)
Deadline: April 14, 2018, 23:59 GMT
- Ultimate Mr. L (talk) How can anyone say no to a ruler like me? (Or to waffles)
- Alex95 (talk) - Fear me, plebeians.
- Baby Luigi (talk) Only if I get to be in that position of power.
- Tails777 (talk) I'm literally only here because that Supreme acronym is supremely impressive. Also, there was something about free waffles?
- Waluigi Time (talk) Per Baby Luigi.
- Keegster2 (talk) I am certainly a man who can appreciate power AND waffles. (But to be serious, I like how unlike the rest of this wiki's "jokes", this one doesn't resort to "oh man being offensive for the sake of funny".)
- YoshiFlutterJump (talk) Thank you for the return of joke proposals! Per Baby Luigi.
- Toadette the Achiever (talk) The power will definitely beef up, per all.
- Doc von Schmeltwick (talk) - Ze pigs must eat ze waffles. Zat is ze balance of ze nature, just as ze Pinky Kong is ze Stinky Kong.
- WaluigiMaster123 (talk) - I prefer pancakes. :/
- Drago (talk) - Nice try. :) But this is still a joke proposal that would be unacceptable if it wasn't April 1. Besides, I have no interest in waffles. :/
- Wildgoosespeeder (talk) French Toast.
- TheFlameChomp (talk) I don't like waffles.
I disagree with the flagrant misuse of the word "supreme" in this proposal, as it will anger our Supreme Thwomp Overlords. As demonstrated by exhibit QRTN (nicknamed "Quarantine"), Thwomps have the secret ability to devour souls if displeased, and can only be appeased with a payment of ten coins down, and a coin a minute, or a substitute payment of ten billion feather dusters. That being said, there is still the fact that waffles are awful, Fawful wants falafel. Doc von Schmeltwick (talk) 01:50, 1 April 2018 (EDT)
@Drago What makes you think this is a joke? One does not jest about waffles.
(--) 21:16, 1 April 2018 (EDT)
Oh, I forgot to mention...
Ahem.
All who oppose me shall not only be deprived of waffles, pancakes, french toast, donuts and PIE, they shall also be banished to the darkest corner of the hellish wasteland known as... STICKER STAR!!! HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!
(--) 21:16, 1 April 2018 (EDT)
P.S. This happens to pigs by default.
- Then why are you banishing yourself, Li'l Oink? Doc von Schmeltwick (talk) 23:21, 1 April 2018 (EDT)
Declare every day National Yoshi April Fools’ Day[edit]
Because why not?
Proposer: YoshiFlutterJump (talk)
Deadline: When this proposal is removed...
- YoshiFlutterJump (talk) Per proposal.
