Editing List of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes by character (L–Z)

{{italic title|List of ''Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door'' quotes by character (L–Z)}}
{{main|List of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes}}

This is a list of quotes from the game ''[[Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door]]'' by character (L–Z).

==[[Lady Bow]]==
*"''It IS you, isn't it, [[Mario]]? Well, it's been quite a while, hasn't it?''"
*"''I've come [[Poshley Heights|here]] with [[Bootler]], yes, a little vacation to [[Poshley Sanctum]]. I hadn't left [[Boo's Mansion|the mansion]] in ages. I figured it was time to turn some heads on the road!''"
*"''GWAH HEE HAH!''"
*"''But what a nice surprise to see you! Feel free to be overwhelmed by my beauty.''"

==[[Lord Crump]]==
*"''Oh, come off it, [[Goombella|you airhead]]! I know it's tough for you, but don't play dumb with me!''"
*"''I've seen [[Goombella|you]] walking around town asking for information about the [[Crystal Stars]].''"
*"''Well, now I'm doing the asking, so be a good girl and tell us what [[Goombella|you]] know! Right. NOW!"
*"''I suppose it wouldn't be right if a sassy little lass like you met with an untimely demise..."
*"''Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Boys, we're taking this firebrand to [[X-Naut Fortress|our fortress]]!"
*"''Whuh? What do you think [[Mario|you're]] doing, chump? You think you can screw up my plans?!?''"
*"''Gah! It's always something...''"
*"''Looks like I'm going to have to give [[Mario|you]] a little taste of the old CRUMP-A-BOMB!''"
*"''Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! OK, [[Mario|you]] got a couple decent shots in, I'll give you that. But...unfortunately for you, that means...''"
*''''"'IT'S GO TIME!'''
*''''"'PUNISH HIM!'''
*"''Buh-HUUUUUH?!?
*''''"'STOPPP!!!'"''
*"''Where'd they go?!? Huh? You! Johnson! Did you see them? Did anyone?''"
*"''Uh... Crud! They bolted!''"
*"''What?!? Are [[Puni elder|you]] nuts? Move it, you old geezer!''"
*"''Whoa. What's your problem, [[Puni elder|gramma]]? You got an ear hair tickling your brain, or what?''"
*"''[[Puni elder|You hotheaded old coot]]! You dare defy me? I could shine my boots with you!''"
*"''Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! You guys are nuts, you know that? Oh, well. I guess I'd better shut of this [[timer]].''"
*"''Ok, you pests! One pummeling, comming up... with extra fists! Metal fists, that is!''"
*"''I knew it was brilliant, but seeing you fall for it REALLY gives me a warm fuzzy!''"
*"''Awake, [[Magnus von Grapple]]! Time for a technological thrashing! Enjoy!''"
*"''Are you crying yet? Yeah? Sorry, but this thing isn't armed with tissues. Well, Magnus von Grapple has that effect on people. Total, weeping terror. And you ain't seen nothing yet! Check out the power on this bad boy!''"
*"''Here it comes, suckers! Magnus von PUNISH!!!''"
*"''Oh, it ain't over yet! This is so awesome. Check out what else this guy can do. You're gonna love it!''"
*"''This might not work out too well for you!''"
*"''Bleeeeee-harrrrgh... This could be the end...''"
*"''Buh! Bu–AAAAAARGH! No! Magnus von Grapple! How could we lose?!?''"
*"''Hurff... Hurfff... Hurffff... I'll remember this, losers!''"
*"''Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh huh huh! I've got some ammo to spare! How's THAT for boom–bassa–boom?!?''"
*"''I'll sink that [[Black Skull|ratty old ghost ship]] to the bottom of the ocean!''"
*"''I'm gonna turn you guys into wee seeds... Wait, that's not right. I'll turn you into SEAWEED! Buh huh! Enjoy!''"
*"''Buh-uuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh! Man, this is no good!''"
*"''I thought I was almost aced for a second there! But [[Mario|you]] haven't finished me off yet, you sea urchins! I'm down, but no WAY I'm out!''"
*"''MAN, THIS IS GETTING OLD! How could I lose...again?!? I HATE LOSING! Now I gotta think of another excuse for [[Grodus]]! Grrrrrrr! And with that...pow! I'm gone!''"
*"''I've been waiting for you! Oh, MAN, have I been waiting! And I HAAAAAAAATE waiting!''"
*"''Buh huh! I'll TELL you what it means! I used the Crystal Star to lure you here... So that I could take all of YOUR Crystal Stars! How brilliant is THAT, huh?''"
*"''And wanna know the best part? Your [[Princess Peach|little Peachy girl]] isn't even here anymore!''"
*"''BUH! BUH! BUH! BUH! BUH! Like I'd tell you the plan! That's novice–villain style! No, I won't be doing anything like that. Sorry, really, guys...''"
*''So... Ready for showtime? You guys are gonna be the perfect workout for... [[Magnus von Grapple 2.0]]!''"
*"''I hope you're up to the challenge...because this thing is raw horsepower, kiddies!!!''"
*"''Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Yeah, last version was buggy, so we made improvements... One...two...a DOZEN!!! Get ready for a whole new way to experience pain, you junior–varsity losers!''"
*"''Buh huh huh! Time to unleash some of the sweet special features on this bad boy! Oh, man, this is gonna be so good...''"
*"''Here it comes, suckers! Magnus Drill Attack!!''"
*"''Buh huh huh...uh, crud. You guys should be little puddles of nothing by now... Oh well, I've still got some tricks up my sleeve!
*"''Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! EAT THIS!''"
*"''Hurrfff... Haaaack... No... How... What? My sweet powered-up robot is on the ropes! This is wrong!

==[[Luigi]]==
*"''Hey, [[Mario|Bro]]! Check it out! A letter from [[Princess Peach]] arrived for you!''"
*"''I'll just read it to you, how's that sound?''"
*"''Ahem! Now let's see here...''"
*"''What do you know? It's true! There's a [[Magical Map|weathered old map]] in here with the letter. Check it out!''"
*"''Well, hey, big brother! Fancy meeting you here! What a co-inky-dink!''"
*"''Eh? Who, me? Well, Bro, I'm on an adventure. I have to rescue [[List of implied characters#Princess Eclair|Princess Eclair]] of the [[List of implied locations#Waffle Kingdom|Waffle Kingdom]]. Yeah, it's a bad scene, all right. She's been kidnapped by the evil [[Goomboss#Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door|Chestnut King]].''"
*"''If you gotta know, I met with some Waffle Kingdom cabinet members the other day.''"
*"''It was pretty crazy, Bro. Wanna hear what happened? It's a pretty long story...''"
*"''Well, I went to [[List of implied locations#Rumblebump Volcano|Rumblebump Volcano]] and got myself a [[List of implied items#Marvelous Compass|Marvelous Compass]] piece! It was an incredible quest! There was danger, and all sorts of adventuring! It was pretty nutso, Bro. Wanna hear what happened? It's a pretty long story...''"
*"''Well, I got my second piece of the Marvelous Compass at [[List of implied locations#Plumpbelly Village|Plumpbelly Village]] recently! Hoo, boy! I really got my hands dirty on that one, I'll tell you what! It was pretty wild, Bro. Wanna hear what happened? It's a pretty long story...''"
*"''Well, I headed to [[List of implied locations#Circuit Break Island|Circuit Break Island]] and got me a Marvelous Compass piece! You wouldn't believe it, Bro! Talk about thrills, chills, and spills! It was pretty nuts, Bro. Wanna hear what happened? It's a pretty long story...''"
*"''Well, I got another marvelous piece of that Marvelous Compass! At [[List of implied locations#Jazzafrazz Town|Jazzafrazz town]], this time. Bro, I'm telling you, I turned adventuring into an art form on THAT little quest! Hoo! It was preety nutty, Bro. Wanna hear what happened? It's a pretty long story...''"
*"''Hey, sounds good to me! Which part of my story you wanna hear, Bro?''"
*"''Well, like I said, it's a really long story, but here goes...''"
*"''If you wanna hear what I've been up to, just come find me, OK? I'll be around.''"
*"''You go, Bro!''"
*"''Hey! That's awesome, [[Mario|Bro]]! Sounds like everyone's doing great over there!''"
===Waffle Kingdom Letter===
*"''My big brother--that's you, Bro--got a letter from Princess Peach and took off.''"
*"''Left behind as usual, I was cooking a snack at home when another letter arrived.''"
*"''We don't get so much mail, so I was thinking: 'Huh?' This is what the letter said: 'Sirs! My name is Crepe. I am a cabinet minister in the far-off Waffle Kingdom. Our land has been attacked by the Chestnut King, who took our Princess Eclair. I ask, nay, BEG for your assistance! The Waffle Kingdom needs your skills. I humbly request your prompt response, sirs. Sincerely, Crepe.' ...Well, I don't remember it exactly, but I think it went something like that.''"
*"''With Mario--that's you, Bro--gone, it fell to me to answer this plea!''"
*"''Hesitating only a teensy bit, I headed to the Waffle Kingdom to investigate.''"
*"''Oh, no, first I wrote a note to myself about what I was cooking. Then I left.''"
*"''Once I reached the Waffle Kingdom, I met Minster Crepe, who filled me in.''"
*"''The Chestnut King had kidnapped Princess Eclair and vanished.''"
*"''Apparently, though, some oracle said a Marvelous Compass could locate her.''"
*"''This Marvelous Compass had been broken into seven parts by an ancient curse...and those parts had been scattered across the land. Can you believe it, Bro?''"
*"''Each part of the Marvelous Compass was said to point to the next.''"
*"''And since one of the parts had been embedded in the tiara worn by the princess... I surmised that once I collected all the parts, I'd find her! Smart, huh?''"
*"''The minister gave me the compass base spoken of in Waffler fables... When it activated, the entire thing lit right up, indicating the deep south... It was pointing me toward Rumblebump Volcano on the [[List of implied locations#Pudding Continent|Pudding Continent]]!''"
*"''So, yeah, here I am! I'm sailing out of [[Rogueport]] for Rumblebump Volcano.''"
*"''It's probably gonna be pretty dangerous, but... I gotta rescue that princess!''"

===Rumblebump Volcano===
*"''As soon as my ship docked on the Pudding Continent, I set out for the volcano.''"
*"''To reach my destination, I spent several days fording through dense jungle...''"
*"''Scary beasts were all over! More than once, I thought I was done for, Bro!''"
*"''I may have screamed a bit. To scare them off, you know. But as fate would have it...''"
*"''A [[Blooper]] named [[Blooey]] heard me shrieking and found me in this one town.''"
*"''Blooey was on a journey of his own, but he joined me after hearing my tale.''"
*"''Now, Blooey's a madman. Back in his hometown, they call him 'White Torpedo'!''"
*"''Yeah, he's a tough guy. Anyway, he helped me fight to Rumblebump Volcano.''"
*"''This place was all about bubbling lava pools and heat that'd make the sun sweat.''"
*"''AND, the place was lousy with evil traps designed to protect the compass piece.''"
*"''the scariest one of all was this gigantic, 100-foot-tall statue that stomped around.''"
*"''Now, the weakness of this giant statue, Bro, was a red gem on its forehead...''"
*"''Now, I can jump high, but not high enough to reach this thing by a long shot.''"
*"''So I came up with this plan for Blooey to hit that weak spot! 'All you, man!' I said!''"
*"''I waited for a pause in the statue's movements and hucked Bloeey up there!''"
*"''And bull's-eye! The White Torpedo saved the day! That jewel got whacked!''"
*"''It was a critical hit, and that stone statue toppled and crumbled into pieces!''"
*"''Once that was done, it was an easy stroll to the room where the treasure was.''"
*"''Unfortunately, Princess Eclair was nowhere to be found...''"
*"''But I got another piece of the Marvelous Compass, and put it in the base...''"
*"''Now the compass pointed west, to Plumpbelly Village on the [[List of implied locations#Strudel Continent|Strudel Continent]].''"
*"''So I set sail once again and came back here to Rogueport to recharge.''"
*"''That's what happened to me lately, but I'll be heading back out soon...''"

===Plumpbelly Village===
*"''Once we made landfall on the Strudel Continent, we made for Plumpbelly Village.''"
*"''Once we got there, though, we immediately noticed that something was wrong.''"
*"''We learned from the mayor that the town was ruled by a giant snake named [[List of implied characters#Hizza|Hizza]]!''"
*"''He said his own daughter was gonna be offered up as a sacrifice to this beast, too!''"
*"''So, of course, being heroic, I offered myself up to go in her stead! Brave, huh?''"
*"''Now, the custom was for sacrifices to be dressed as brides, so I got all dolled up...''"
*"''I was one hot sacrifice, Bro. I looked so good, I fooled our foes and got in Hizza's lair.''"
*"''It was kind of rough fighting in that gown, but I managed. Chiffon really chafes, Bro!''"
*"''I finally found Hizza...and the snake had a second head on his tail! Talk about scary!''"
*"''I fainted real quick, but when I came to, I managed to distract both heads...''"
*"''It reared up, fangs bared to attack, and at that moment, I deftly lunged left!''"
*"''His gaping mouths smashed into one another...and he vanished in a cloud of smoke!''"
*"''A shining plate fell down on the spot where Hizza's body had been coiled...''"
*"''Yes! Another compass piece! I set it, and it pointed east, to Circuit Break Island!''"
*"''Just as I was about to leave town, the mayor asked me to stay and marry his daughter.''"
*"''I thought about it--she was sorta cute--but we ended up sneaking off the next morning.''"
*"''I mean, I still have to rescue Princess Éclair from the Chestnut King!''"
*"''And...when the Marvelous Compass activated this time, I heard somebody's voice.''"
*"''It was so beautiful, Bro... I'm certain it was Princess Eclair's voice!''"
*"''My heart began to race! That's when I realized it: Princess Éclair... I think I...''"
*"''Oh! I kinda zoned out there. Umm... So, yeah. We set sail again after ditching town...''"
*"''And somehow we managed to get back here to Rogueport. And here I am!''"

===Circuit Break Island===
*"''Just as our boat arrived at Circuit Break Island, we heard this incredible racket!''"
*"''We soon found out that they hold kart races almost every day on the island.''"
*"''Whoever takes first place gets to rule the island as king for that day.''"
*"''Just as we got to the race track, they were holding the awards ceremony...''"
*"''I couldn't believe my eye! Right there, on the trophy they give to the winner...''"
*"''It was another piece of the Marvelous Compass! I almost passed dead away!''"
*"''I decided right then and there that the only thing to do was enter the next race.''"
*"''I mean, I've driven in kart races before, so I'd thought I'd be OK. Boy, was I wrong.''"
*"''The karts were supercharged machines that could send you airborne with their exhaust!''"
*"''These vehicles were armed with missiles and bazookas... It was 'anything goes,' Bro!''"
*"''Of course, I wanted to get out of there, pronto! These drivers were crazed!''"
*"''But I worked up my courage and signed up anyway. And my race day finally came...''"
*"''I got one of the best karts: the Big Green 01! I took my position at the start line...''"
*"''The light went green, I stomped the accelerator... and something bad happened.''"
*"''I was in reverse! The Big Green 01 went rocketing backwards with me yelling...''"
*"''I crashed into the wall behind me hard enough to cut me off midscream.''"
*"''In one fell swoop, I dropped into last place and wrecked my racing machine...''"
*"''But it wasn't all bad news: all the other karts crashed because of my maneuver...''"
*"''Once I got in gear and took off, I was the only car left! I won by a country mile, Bro!''"
*"''I took the piece off my trophy and added it to the Marvelous Compass...''"
*"''The compass came to life and pointed me toward [[List of implied locations#Jazzafrazz Town|Jazzafrazz Town]] in the east!''"
*"''Then I heard that voice! Princess Eclair's voice echoed in my ears again!''"
*"''Oh, my princess! Random words would form poetry if spoken by your voice!''"
*"''I will most definitely save you! Just wait for me! Princess Eclair!!!''"
*"''Oh! Sorry about that, Bro... Umm... So, after that, I got back on my boat...''"
*"''And came back here to Rogueport. And that's what's been up with me.''"

===Jazzafrazz Town===
*"''As soon as we hit Jazzafrazzz Town, we were overcome by the glitz and the glamour.''"
*"''It's a very lively place, Bro. Tons of Dayzees live there, and they're always smiling.''"
*"''While looking for the piece of compass, I met a hip Dayzee named [[Hayzee]].''"
*"''Hayzee was a producer, and he was looking for actors to go on stage with him.''"
*"''I told him we couldn't, since we were looking for the compass part, you know.''"
*"''But Hayzee said we could WIN the compass part in the upcoming Drama Slam!''"
*"''He said the so-called Dramalamma Plaque might, in fact, be one of the parts!''"
*"''Well, we just had to give it a try, so we rehearsed with the cast and hit the stage!''"
*"''Our musical was called 'The Mystery of the Fiery Hat of Social Awareness.''"
*"''The script was great, but I got really hosed, Bro... My 'role'... My 'part'...''"
*"''...Was grass! I played grass by the side of the road! Grass, Bro! Grass!''"
*"''I just sprawled out on the ground and had to be silent. Everyone but me had lines...''"
*"''I don't care if I was wearing green! Who casts someone based on that? It was awful!''"
*"''In the end, our musical was the talk of the town, and we won the Drama Slam.''"
*"''I got the compass part I was after, but even that didn't make me very happy.''"
*"''The huge after-party just bummed me out more, so I snuck out of the back door.''"
*"''But WOW! Outside were a ton of fans! MY fans! fans of grass! They swarmed me!''"
*"''I just couldn't believe it! Imagine! Cheering for grass! I was estatic, Bro!''"
*"''After that I added the piece to the Marvelous Compass, which pointed north.''"
*"''It pointed to the [[List of implied locations#Rapturous Ruins|Rapturous Ruins]] in Grimble Forest. Then... The voice again...''"
*"''Oh my cherished Princess Eclair! How you soothe me! I would be grass for you...''"
*"''I will find you! I will reach you! I will stand by your side and be your Luigi!''"
*"''Wow. Sorry about that, Bro. Umm... So, yeah, anyway... Then I got back on my boat.''"
*"''I came back to Rogueport, and here I am, another leg of my adventure completed!''"

===Rapturous Ruins===
*"''After journeying deep into the Grimble Forest, I found the domed Rapturous Ruins.''"
*"''Inside, everything was pure white. You couldn't tell where the floor became walls...''"
*"''Proceeding dead ahead, I found myself in a chamber where a young boy sat.''"
*"''As I approached the boy, someone named Screamy appeared out of nowhere!''"
*"''Screamy said the boy's name was Cranberry, and that he'd wake for a child of fate."''
*"''That didn't make any sense to me, so I started searching quietly for the compass piece."''
*"''But then it happened, Bro: I got a tiny tickle in my nose, and I let out a huge sneeze!''"
*"''Well, Cranberry must've heard it, 'cause he opened his eyes right up!''"
*"''He looked at me and smiled. And all of a sudden, I could understand his language!''"
*"''Can you believe it? I learned that the boy was the last of an ancient race, the Luffs...''"
*"''He had been there guarding the Marvelous Compass piece for the last thousand years!''"
*"''He told me that the compass is an item with the power to see into the future...''"
*"''The ancient Luff empire used the power of the compass to rule much of the world.''"
*"''Because of their greed, they were cursed by the compass, and their empire collapsed.''"
*"''To prevent a repeat of their fate, Cranberry broke the compass into seven parts.''"
*"''He hid six and kept one, putting himself to sleep until a worthy hero woke him.''"
*"''I WAS that hero, Bro! He gave it to me, and then he and the ruins vanished...''"
*"''When I added that piece to the compass...''"
*"''It pointed to the far north, where Dreaded [[List of implied locations#Hatesong Tower|Hatesong Tower]] stands.''"
*"''This time, I heard Princess Eclair's voice more clearly than ever before!''"
*"''I will rescue the Princess! I will be super! And then I'll... I'll... I'll...''"
*"''Well, I'll figure the rest out later. Anyway, I headed back here to Rogueport after that.''"
*"''I'm making my final preparations for my final battle now.''"
*"''I'm a little nervous, Bro. But that's what I've been up to, anyway!''"

===Hatesong Tower===
*"''Hatesong Tower stands atop a jagged, unclimbable cliff beyond the northernmost sea.''"
*"''The winds whistle down the cliff, howling like banshees singing songs of hate...''"
*"''People say it's pretty much the scariest place in the world. And I had to go there.''"
*"''Blocking out the bone-chilling howls, I somehow managed to reach the tower's door.''"
*"''I was terrified, but thoughts of Princess Éclair warmed my heart and gave me power.''"
*"''All of my companions felt the same way. They were with me to the bitter end.''"
*"''The door to the tower swung slowly open to reveal an inconceivable darkness...''"
*"''I tried to call out Princess Eclair's name, but I couldn't even breathe because...''"
*"''As I strained my eyes in the darkness, I saw the most terrifying beast of all!''"
*"''The Chestnut King himself appeared before me! He was monstrous and drooling!''"
*"''Puddles of toxic goo dripped from his mouth, melting the very ground at our feet!''"
*"''I couldn't stop shaking, but I gritted my teeth and faced the evil beast dead-on!''"
*"''I dodged the king's fangs, jumped onto his chest, and gave him a hammer-whack!''"
*"''My swing split the air and crashed dead-center onto the Chestnut King's skull!''"
*"''Hope powered me up, Bro! I was going toe-to-toe with the king, and I was loving it!''"
*"'''This is it' I thought! I can win this! I'll risk it all on my next blow!''"
*"''I gripped my hammer tight and waited for my moment... The tension stung me...''"
*"''SHHHHHWHAAAAACK! The ocean winds raged against the tower windows!''"
*"''With that sound as my call to battle, I advanced with no mercy in my heart!''"
*"''And then... And then... I beat him. I defeated the Chestnut King.''"
*"''An even worse beast came next, a nightmare thing... but I beat it too.''"
*"''I rescued Princess Éclair It was all over.''"
*"''And then I came back to Rogueport and had a light lunch. And that's about it.''"

==[[Magikoopa]]==
*"''You, fool, would do well to fear our dark magic...''"

==[[Marilyn]]==
*"''Guhhhhh...''"
*"''Guh! Guh!''"
*"''Uh... Guh! Guh?''"
*"''Guh! Guhhhhh?''"
*"''Guh! GUHHH!''"
*"''Uhhhh-guh...''"
*"''The Three...''"
*"''GUUUHHH!''"
*"''Guh!''"
*"''GUUUUUUUUUUUUH!''"

==[[Mario]]==
*"''Wohoo!''"
*"''Wah!''"
*"''Awawawawahaha!''"
*"''Yes!''"

==[[Master Crash]]==
*"''Nice to meet you BOMB!''"
*"''Well. Now that we've gotten to know each other, I will give you advice BOMB!''"
*"''As Mr. Jolene was saying, you'd better BOMB obey Mr. Grubba's conditions.''"
*"''If you clear the conditions and win, you get to fight higher-ranked foes BOMB!''"
*"''If you can't clear them, you BOMB end up battling a lower-ranked fighter BOMB!''"
*"''You can't climb the BOMB ranks fighting the bottom of the barrel BOMB-BOMB!''"
*"''Not just sometimes BOMB! Advice is ALWAYS useful BOMB-BOMB!''"
*"''Here we go, [[Mario|Gonzales]] BOMB! I have advice! Just give up now BOMB-BOMB!''"
*"''You are in BOMB denial, [[Cleftor]]. I saw you weeping in that locker BOMB-BOMB!''"

==[[Mayor Dour]]==
*"''Oh, badness... Now poor [[Freddy]] got turned into a [[pig]]... Not good.''"
*"''I'm the mayor of [[Twilight Town|this poor town]]. Some call me Dour. I'm not exactly the sharpest fellow, but I do believe you're adventurers, right? This isn't the place for the telling of tales, sadly. Come. Come to my home.''"
*"''My [[Twilighters|traveling friends]]... Welcome to [[Twilight Town]]. Well, I'd LIKE to welcome you... But "welcoming" people is generally a good thing, and it's nothing but bad here.''"
*"''As you may have guessed...[[Twilight Town|our town]] has been cursed.''"
*"''Yes, cursed. That is the right word, right? Yes, of course it is. You see... Beyond [[Twilight Town|town]] is a forest, and in its heart is an ancient building, the [[Creepy Steeple]]. The dark creature who lives there... Its curse ordains that when the steeple bell rings... One of the [[Twilighters]] living here in the village...becomes a [[pig]].''"
*"''Will my loved ones become swine? Will I, too, become [[Pig|a curly-tailed oinker]]? I'm so worried, I can't sleep at night. Of course, night and day are pretty similar here... If this keeps up...well...the village will be one giant pigpen. Which would be bad. Let me give you some advice. Leave us! Leave before you, too, get...piggified!''"
*"''Uh... I don't know about any [[Crystal Stars|Crystal Star]] thing...but in [[Creepy Steeple]]... There's a glittery red stone shaped like a star...''"
*"''Uh... You people... You aren't thinking of going to [[Creepy Steeple]], are you?!? Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... Unthinkable...''"
*"''I can't believe it was a fake [[Mario]] all that time... So we were all fooled... I'm so sorry, Mario... After all you've done for [[Twilight Town|our town]]... Did we hurt your feelings?''"
**(Maybe a little...)
*"''... Er... Well, all right, it's OK to be in touch with [[Mario|your]]. So then! You've brought a shining ray of light to [[Twilight Town|our dim little town]]! Twilight Town thanks you!''"
**(Nah, not really.)
*"''[[Mario|You]]'re a bigger man than I, Mario! Such fortitude! You're a true hero! You've brought a shinging ray of light to our dim little town! Twilight Town thanks you!''"
*"''Please come back to visit anytime [[Mario|you]] like!''"

==[[Mayor Kroop]]==
*"''Hmph? Whuzzat? Someone there? Who is it? WHO?!? What do you want from me? I know! You're thieves! Here to rob a defenseless old [[Koopa Troopa|Koopa]]! Despicable!''"
*"''Go on, do what you will...but as you can plainly see, there's nothing to steal here. Oh, I guess I have a little money... Take it, you fiends. And my antique shell, too. Just leave the photos of me and the missus. Can't do without those memories...''"
*"''What? Not thieves, you say? Well, what's your story, then? Oh, wait... You folks looking for [[Crystal Stars]]?''"
*"''Well, why didn't you pipe up before, you ijit! We're just wasting time, here!''"
*"''The [[Crystal Stars]] you say you're hunting... Errrmm... Wait... What did I hear about those dang things, again?''"
*"''Aha! Got it! [[Hooktail]]! Hooktail's got what you're looking for! It's this enormous, ornery dragon. Eats folks, they say. You know Hooktail, right?''"
*"''Well, this Hooktail's brutal fly-by snackings have all of us on pins and needles. So, are you reckless fools... I mean... Are you gallant heroes off to rough it up?''"
*"''This DOES sound promising!''"
*"''Why, if [[Mario|you]] can rid us of Hooktail, we'll shower you with gratitude and rewards. Wait, what's that I hear? You'll accept no rewards?''"
*"''What an unselfish man! You're noble, indeed... Yup, a good egg. Now... What did you say your name was, again?''"
*"''...[[Mario|Murphy]]? Hmm... That's a fine name. Yes, a fine name, indeed. Well now, Murphy...''"
*"''I appreciate that, [[Mario|Murphy]]! They ARE nice eyebrows.''"
*"''Now, listen up. If you're intent on going to [[Hooktail Castle|Hooktail's castle]], find the secret pipe near [[Petalburg|this village]]. I don't know where it's at, but I know you need stone keys to use that pipe. The keys are somewhere in [[Shhwonk Fortress]], just past the village. Get them first.''"
*"''Well then, [[Mario|Murphy]]... Get going and take care of that [[Hooktail|Hooktail monster]]!''"
*"''Ahem... May I just add... If anything happens, you can always come home, [[Koops]]. Don't you ever forget that. [[Petalburg|This village]] will always be your home.''"
*"''Oops! I forgot to set out the tea! Aren't I an old ninny? My apologies. In fact, I haven't even added the hot water part. Awful sorry. ...At least I THOUGHT you could, but it looks like you can't carry anything else. I'll leave it here for you, so you can come get it anytime you like, OK?''"
*"''Hmmm, now?''"
*"''What's this shiny thing?''"
*"''...I wonder, kids, if this is related to the sky getting all dark and whatnot...''"
*"''Uh... Er... Whuh... Hmmm... Umm... Wh-What's going on?''"

==[[McGoomba]]==
*"''You never know who'll be watching, so let's do this thing quick.''"
*"''Take this [[Box|package]] to [[Goomfrey]]. You'll find him in front of [[Frankly]]'s place.''"
*"''And try not to be seen.''"
*"''Did you deliver it? Phew! You saved my neck, buddy.''"
*"''Oh! I almost forgot your compensation. You saved my neck. You get something good.''"

==[[Merlee]]==
*"''We're under the folks [[Rogueport|up top]]! In my fortune-telling shop! I see your fortune...but stop! If you wish to talk to me, across the table you must be. Thank you, really, golly, gee!''"
*"''Hello. Welcome. I'm Merlee. [[Rogueport Sewers|Underground]], cute as can be! A fortune-teller, that is me. Lucky for [[Mario|you]], coming here. I tell fortunes, have no fear! ♡''"
*"''Let my mystic power tell of days to come...more, as well. For luck sits on my spells. What do you say, [[Mario|Mr. Guy]]? Want to give it a try?''"
*"''That's good. That's great! Choose your path to fate! ♡ Which path do [[Mario|you]] choose?''"
*"''OK. That's fine by me! So, ready? Ready for me? OK... Here we go! ♡''"
*"''My mystic power can make [[Mario|you]] smile! ♡ In battle, you'll win with style! Even if nasty foes arrive, you'll be fine since my fortune will thrive! ♡''"
*"''OK! Come again! See [[Mario|you]] soon! See you then! Good-bye! ♡''"

==[[Merlon]]==
*"''Welcome to the home of Merlon, the super-magician. I foresaw [[Mario|your]] arrival. So... Which [[Partners|partner]] would you like me to power up?''"
*"''Shall I power up this partner?''"
*"''SHA-ZIBBY! SHA-ZOOBY!''"
*"''Then [[Mario|you]] may go!''"

==[[Merluvlee]]==
*"''Ahhhhhhhhhhhh-hah! ♡ Welcome, [[Mario]]. I am Merluvlee, the lovely fortune-teller. Seeing with my amazing abilities that which you seek is my humble job. The light of the shining stars will light that I wish to see. Ah-hah! ♡ So! Shall I see something for you?''"
*"''Ahhhhhhh-hah! Is that so? Well, if there is ever anything [[Mario|you]] want to find, just ask.''"

==[[Mr. Hoggle]]==
*"''No! Bad! So very bad! Behave yourself, egg!''"
*"''No! Bad! Come back! Help! My important egg escaped! Somebody, catch it!''"
*"''So bad! It does not even have arms and legs, and still I cannot catch it!''"
*"''My menu was going to have the Southern Fried Egg Dog of Tastiness, but now... Bad!''"
*"''I ordered that naughty egg from an island in the south! I had to pay shipping, too!''"
*'''Don't just stand there! Help catch it!!!''"
*"''MOST AWFULLY BAD!''"
*"''Come down from there, egg! How am I supposed to get it now? FLY there?!?''"
*"''You! Don't just stand there with your mustache! Find a way to get up there!''"
*"''Aww... Fine. Most people don't like eating stuff that jumps all over the place, anyway.''"

==[[Ms. Mowz]]==
*"''Huh? Oh, my! Who's [[Mario|this]] handsome piece of cheese?''"
*"''I can't believe there are other thieves [[Hooktail Castle|here]] besides me. How very strange...''"
*"''Me? Why, I'm Ms. Mowz, the globe-trotting thief! Heard of me, [[Partners|sweetie]]? ♡''"
*"''I heard there were rare and valuable [[Badge|badges]] here in [[Hooktail Castle|this castle]]. That's why I'm here.''"
*"''But the real question is...why are people like YOU roaming in such a run-down place?''"
*"''[[Crystal Star]], you say? Mmmm hmm hmm!''"
*"''I didn't know a thing like [[Diamond Star|THAT]] was hidden in [[Hooktail Castle|this castle]]... Sounds intriguing!''"
*"''Perhaps I just heard something you didn't want me hearing? Mmm hmm hmm hmm!''"
*"''Oh, but that's OK... I mean, you were looking for this [[Diamond Star|Crystal Star]] first...''"
*"''And I already found the [[Badge|badge]] I was after, so I'll let you get your [[Diamond Star|Crystal Star]]. ♡''"
*"''Mmmm hmm hmm hmm! ♡ It means I must say bye-bye for now, [[Mario|Mr. Cutie]].''"
*"''I know. It's sad. We just met, and already it is time to say farewell. Alas... ♡''"
*"''Oh, I almost forgot... I have a little secret to share with [[Mario|you]]. ♡''"
*"''Somewhere in [[Hooktail Castle|this castle]] is a [[Badge|badge]] that'll help [[Mario|you]] best [[Hooktail]], or so I've heard.''"
*"''I don't know what kind of [[Badge|badge]] it is. Maybe [[Mario|you]] found it already, maybe not.''"
*"''If you're going to fight Hooktail, I'd recommend finding that badge first.''"
*"''Well, take care, [[Mario|handsome mustache man]]! Let's get together again real soon!''"
*"''We must move quickly, love. Let's go to the professor's office, quick as a wink! We have to speak to him of Princess Peach's e-mail.''"
*"''Well, we're waiting, Professor. What did you find out?''"
*"''You strange, strange man. What did THAT mean?''"
*"''Well, the way I see it, it may be entirely the wrong idea to collect these things. Why, someone could just steal all the [[Crystal Stars]] from us and resurrect that demon! I feel as though the best course of action might be to destroy them utterly.''"
*"''Oh, my! I suppose we'd better shake our tails and find the other [[Crystal Stars]]! Tell me, Professor, where is the next one located?''"
*"''Keelhaul Key?''"
*"''Don't be so coy, [[Admiral Bobbery|Admiral]]! We've already found out your identity!''"
*"''But… Don't be like that! We truly need your help, can't you see that? Without you, we'll surely meet our ends on the way to Keelhaul Key!''"
*"''Mmmm… Your thoughts, [[Mario]]? We don't seem to be getting anywhere with this man.''"
*"''I can't help but wonder… What could turn such a man against the sea? I think our only option is to ask around and see if anyone knows his tale.''"
*"''Why must romance so often end in tragedy? Why?!? I see why he won't sail…''"
*"''Thank you, Podley. That had to hurt you to admit… We'll deliver the letter. Let's go, Mario.''"
*"''Admiral Bobbery!!! Excellent!''"
*"'''You out there in front of the TV'? I think that man might have the sea madness.''"
*"''Mmmmm… Mario, sweetie? I believe [[Admiral Bobbery|Bobbery]] may just be sleeping… Yes, in fact, I'm positive. And after all that worrying… Smack him awake, sweetie!''"
*"''Bobbery… He's not quite up to speed, I don't think…''"
*"''Such melodrama… You're still alive, dearie.''"
*"''Mario, dearie… I think that Flavio's gem might be just the thing for that eyehole…''"
*"''Mmmm… Is he actually on our side, do you think?''"
*"''There's that terrible voice again… I'd say those ghosts are probably nearby…''"
*"''Oh, I'm sure they'll be completely fine here… Let's go, Mario.''"
*"''Mario… I think the time is right for us to head for the door, don't you think?''"
*"''Do you hear that, sweetie? Your captured princess must be e-mailing you.''"
*"''My, my, my! The princess is quite capable, isn't she? We've work to do, too!''"
*"''OK, then! Now we must go see Professor Frankly.''"
*"''Hey… Isn't that place simply BURSTING with the rich and famous? Excellent.''"
*"''Well? Don't tease us, Professor. How do we get there from here?''"
*"''You know, I had heard that one must be rich or famous to ride the Excess Express…''"
*"''Oh, I do NOT think that's a good idea! Do you know him? He is NOT one to mess with! …Ah, well. If we have to, then I'm in, but it could get ugly. Come on, Mario. Let's go.''"
*"''You mean that cutie Frankie and that darling Francesca? They were on Keelhaul Key!''"
*"''Do you think these two can really make it on their own, dearie? Personally, I don't think so. Yes, we should help them…''"
*"''Lovely! Next stop, Poshley Heights! Marvelous! I've begun to think we should find that sixth Crystal Star as fast as we can…''"
*"''Oh, my! You're Beldam!''"
*"''We'd better move, Mario! If she gets to Poshley Heights before we do… Quickly! To Rogueport Station!''"
*"''Mmmm…the Excess Express! Now this is what I call traveling in style! The three days to Poshley Heights will be over before we know it, dearie!''"
*"''Mmmmm? There's something on the floor… Trash, perhaps? When did that get there?''"
*"''Mm… What a strange threat… Do you think that Beldam woman might be behind it? Well, at any rate, the fact that the note is here means the culprit is on the train. We must find this ne'er-do-well before he or she can hatch a plan!''"
*"''Oh, hang on! This looks like spilled stew on the carpet! How marvelous! We can just follow the drops to the thief! It might even be the same person that wrote the sticky, yummy threat, dearie! …What makes me say that? It takes a thief to find a thief, sweetie!''"
*"''All right, dearie, let's turn in, shall we? The conductor can handle any problems.''"
*"''This document is just like the other one! The suspect must be in here somewhere…''"
*"''Mario, dearie! What are THESE things?!?''"
*"''Do you think these little beasts flipped the switch? Let's hurry up and find it so we can switch it back!''"
*"''Mmm, the beginning of a new day… And such a cool and brisk morning, as well!''"
*"''Hey, aren't those the things from the station yesterday? They must've stowed away!''"
*"''Oh, no, they've gotten inside the train! We have to take them out!''"
*"''What IS that vile thing? …Oh, no! Mario, look! It's got the other passengers!''"
*"''We're finally here, dearie! Let's waste no time, hmmmm? Let's find Poshley Sanctum, as Frankly recommended.''"
*"''Hmm… Should I just jimmy the lock, dearie?''"
*"''Hmmmm? You live here? So YOU'RE the Sanctum Manager? Oh, my… I thought you were a detective!''"
*"''Oh, dear! We're too late!!! We'd better go after them!''"
*"''Mario! Is that an e-mail from your princess?''"
*"''Mmmm… The moon, is it? Peach is on the moon? Sounds intriguing! But why is her e-mail cut off? You don't think…something's happened to her…do you?''"
*"''Oooh, it's so chilly… I wonder where this place is.''"
*"''My, my, what's this now? The last Crystal Star… It can't possibly be there…''"
*"''The moon?!? Isn't the princess trapped there, too? Something about this doesn't seem right…''"
*"''We're using a CANNON to get to the moon? Whatever you say, darling…''"
*"''Well, where is this Fahr Outpost, Professor?''"
*"''An Ultra Hammer? But, sweetie, we've already got one of those!''"
*"''No problem at all, sweetie! Fahr Outpost, it is!''"
*"''So, this is [[Fahr Outpost]]… I don't see any cannon that can shoot to the moon… I guess we should start by chatting with the villagers, don't you think?''"
*"''We did it, sweetie!''"
*"''AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIII!''"
*"''Oh, my! That was quite fun! I can't say I ever thought I'd take a ride like THAT!''"
*"''Well, here we are, on the [[moon]], dearie! Are you ready? Then let's find the last Crystal Star and save Peach!''"
*"''This building smells suspicious. Let's be careful, dearie!''"
*"''[[Mario]]! These X-Naut soldiers running around means… Yes, I'm positive! The Crystal Star must be here, too!''"
*"''Peach must be here, too! Let's find her, dearie!''"
*"''Where are we, anyway?''"
*"''We're underneath [[Rogueport]]! The X-Nauts used that thing to come here from the moon!''"
*"''You! Been waiting, have you? And what does THAT mean?''"
*"''So [[Princess Peach|Peach]] WAS here! Where did you take her, you awful man?!?''"
*"''Don't kid yourself, dearie!''"
*"''[[Mario]]!''"
*"''We've finally got all seven Crystal Stars! Fantastic! Now we can open the Thousand-Year Door! Mmm, but…''"
*"''We still don't know where Peach is…''"
*"''Well, let's head back to Rogueport, dearie. Perhaps the professor can help us find Princess Peach.''"
*"''Where are we now?''"
*"''[[Princess Peach|Peach]] is in the [[Palace of Shadow]]?''"
*"''But…what'll happen to you?''"
*"''…We understand, TEC.''"
*"''Mario! We have to save Peach…for TEC, too!''"
*"''Hmmm… Did you hear that?''"
*"''She was, yes…but the X-Naut boss took her and went to the Thousand-Year Door…''"
*"''Ex-CUSE me? Without the seventh Crystal Star, that door should never have opened!''"
*"''Hmm! Look! The door!!!''"
*"''I'm with you, Mario!!!''"
*"''What an unpleasant place… but we don't have a choice in the matter! We have to get in there and save [[Princess Peach|Peach]] before this gets any more out of hand! Let's go, dearie!''"
*"''AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIII!''"
*"''Mmm… We get out of one odd room just to find another… It's so huge…like an underground city, almost… What IS this place?''"
*"''Isn't that [[Hooktail]], dearie? I thought you beat Hooktail… What's it doing here???''"
*"''[[Mario]]! Look at that!''"
*"''It's so big…but what is it?''"
*"''My! It's moving!''"
*"''Huh? What?!?''"
*"''What was that?''"
*"''What?!? [[Professor Frankly]]?!? What are YOU doing here?!?''"
*"''Opening [[Thousand–Year Door|the door]] for you? What do you mean by THAT, [[Beldam|you awful thing]]?''"
*"''Oh, I think YOU'RE the ones who will be smarting after this! Let's finish it!''"
*"''Let's leave [[Shadow Sirens|these idiots]], Mario..."
*"''This room gives me a very bad feeling, dearie. What IS this chamber?''"
*"''So, this fellow is the leader of those X-Nauts?''"
*"''No! So the last Crystal Star we found on the moon… We were so blind!''"
*"''Be careful, dearie! He looks tough!''"
*"''We'll never let that happen!''"
*"''Mm?''"
*"''[[Princess Peach]]?!?''"
*"''You wouldn't!''"
*"''What do we do, [[Mario]]? I don't like our chances if we don't attack him…''"
*"''What? This isn't very fair! All this and [[Bowser]], too?!?''"
*"''Phew… That was too close. At least we've got that thorn pulled out of our sides. Now…let's save Peach!''"
*"''What?!? Where's Grodus?!?''"
*"''That was Peach!''"
*"''What's going on here?!?''"
*"''Possess Peach?!?''"
*"''P-Peach…''"
*"''Wh-What's going on, [[Mario]]?''"
*"''Who does this witch think she is? Mario is no pawn of [[Shadow Queen|evil]]! Ridiculous! Right, Mario?''"
*"''Mario, you've been through a lot to get here… You've worked miracles in that time… So keep your magic going here… Mario, my sweet! Muster your courage and defeat the [[Shadow Queen]]!''"
*"''[[Mario]], what should we do? We could be finished…''"
*"''Why are we even talking about this? NEVER!''"
*"''The [[Crystal Stars]]? Ahhhh!!!''"
*"''Is that…''"
*"''Can you hear them, [[Mario]]? So many voices…''"
*"''They're… They're all sending us their wishes and positive energy… That's so nice…''"
*"''Mario! Look at THAT!!!''"
*"''That voice… Princess Peach?!?''"
*"''What… What IS this? I feel completely full of powerful energy now…''"
*''<big><big>"PEACH!!!"</big></big>''
*"''Mario! This is it, dearie! We're almost through!''"
*"''Now we're in business! Get ready to pay!''"
*"''Princess Peach!''"
*"''Mario! Come here!''"
*"''Princess Peach is A-OK! She's not even hurt!''"
*"''Don't fret, Peach! It wasn't too much trouble…''"
*"''Oh, Professor…''"
*"''It is time for us to part, my little cheese hunk. But I will not say farewell, because you're welcome [[Rogueport|here]] anytime you please, sweetie! Until then... adieu.''"
*"''Mmm hmm hmm! It means I must say bye bye for now Mr. Cutie. I know. It's sad. We just met. But for now, farewell!''"
*"''Mmmm… I'd stay out of dark alleys for a little while if I were you…''"
*"''My! What a crab!''"
*"''You look a bit weak to be fighting us... Mmm hmm hmm!''"
*"''Well, what did you expect?''"

==[[Pa-Patch]]==
*"''Oy, [[Flavio]]!''"
*"''Heard you talkin' there, sir! If you don't mind me sayin'... I might 'ave a solution...''"
*"''Well, sir, I've 'eard talk of a famed... No! A LEGENDARY sailor livin' in Rogueport. Yeah, I think he's called [[Admiral Bobbery]]... A salty sea dog, by all accounts... But...he's said to 'ave the Helmsman's Touch, sir: he can make any ship bow to his will. Thing is, there ain't a soul wot's seen him on the seas of late...''"
*"''Great. He's started again. A "tale of bravery", right? I heard this one yesterday...''"
*"''There's nowhere to escape to... We just have to listen until he's finished... Yeah, if you interrupt him midstory, he absolutely loses it, too... ...Uh, why is the ...What? Wait, what's going on here? The ship's stopping.''"
*"''Oy! Master Flavio! Awful sorry to interrupt that wicked story... But the ship's stopped...''"
*"''Oh, aye aye, [[Flavio]]! I'll get on it, right quick! Wait a tick!''"
*"''Yeah, yeah, I'm workin' on it! Just wait a Goomba-stompin' moment, ya scallywags...''"
*"''OY! Quit shovin', eh?!? I'm workin' over 'eere! I said QUIT SHOVIN'!!''"
*"''Uh...AARGH!''"
*"''...Th-Th-They're 'ere!''"
*"''N-N-No... They're upon us... The p-p-p-pirate...GHOSTS!''"
*"''All them rumors were true!''"
*"''Whuh... Uh... What do we do? We gotta get outta here! AAAAAAAAAAIGH!''"
*"''Oy! [[Mario|Captain 'Stache]]!''"
*"''It ain't much, but we finished a wee hut for you to rest in! Come 'ave a look!''"
*"''What are [[Flavio|you]] talkin' 'bout?!? You were the one quakin' in 'is boots, fancy pants!''"
*"''That's right, [[Flavio|fancy pants]]! Fancy pants! Fancy pants! Fancy pants! Fancy pants!''"
*"''Oy, that's right fine by me! I can't wait to put a few dents in those fancy threads!''"
*"''[[Mario|C-C-Captain 'Stache]]! Them ghosts are back!''"
*"''Yes! Yer a bloomin' BEAST, [[Mario|Captain 'Stache]]!''"
*"''What?!? The spirit o' Cortez was guardin' the treasure? An' you beat 'im, but you left all the treasure there?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! What were you THINKIN'?!? Were you tryin' to be NICE?!? Awww, well... That's what I like about you, I guess...''"
*"''AAAAACK! What is THAT?!?''"
*"''Oy, now... Ain't that good ol' [[Four-Eyes]]?''"
*"''Look, we're sailors... We're not much good for anythin' wifout a ship to sail!''"
*"''Oy! I ain't lettin' ol' [[Flavio]] Fancy-Pants hog the glory! Come on, [[Mario|Captain 'Stache]]!''"
*"''Yeah, I'm gonna stay [[Keelhaul Key|here]]. It's a right nice place to live wifout any ghosts, eh?''"
*"''[[General White]]? Yeah, he was [[Keelhaul Key|'ere]] until a second ago. But he took off, right quick. Said he was goin' to an arena, or somefin'...''"

==[[Paragoomba]]==
*"''Wassup, baby? Why don't you hang with us for a while? We play real nice!''"
*"''What, you're too good for us? Come off it, sister!''"

==[[Parakarry]]==
*"''Mail call!''"

==[[Parrot (character)|Parrot]]==
*"''Skrawk? What happened to [[Mario|those]] [[Vivian|weirdos]] who were just here? Ah, whatever... It was almost nice to have some company... I mean, no matter how important it is that no one know[s] his real name... Locking me up in here just because I know it... And making me guard the name's stupid missing letter... No way to treat a parrot! I REALLY want a cracker... [[Doopliss]], you're a big meanie. When's feeding time, huh?''"
*"''Skra-WAAAAAAAAAARK?!? Uh... Pretty bird! Pretty bird!''"
*"''Man, am I tired of this stupid parrot babble act... It's so demeaning. And guarding this dumb letter here... I should report that Doopliss to the proper authorities...unless he gives me a cracker.''"
*"''Shine get! Shine get!''"

==[[Pennington]]==
*"''Rudimentary, my dear [[Mario|Luigi]]!''"
*"''No need for introductions. I know all about the famous Luigi!''"
*"''We could have questioned [[Doopliss|him]] about all that [[Beldam]] business...''"
*"''Ah, it is my dear [[Mario|Luigi]]! What are you doing at my doorstep, young fellow?''"
*"''Well, yes... That is more like a hobby of mine, if the truth must be told.''"
*"''But enough chatter, hm? Shall we go inside?''"
*"''Just a second there, [[Mario|Luigi]]! Exactly WHAT is going on here? Speak quickly!''"
*"''Hm, yes, quite rudimentary... So [[Mario|you]] were looking for the [[Garnet Star|Crystal Star]] in this [[Poshley Sanctum|sanctum]]...''"
*"''Ohohohohohohohohohoho! Yes, very interesting...''"
*"''Well, no cause for worry! The [[Garnet Star|Crystal Star]] is safe! Yes, quite safe, indeed!''"
*"''The stone that our [[Shadow Sirens|rude friends]] stole was fortunately a red herring! A fake!''"
*"''The real one is hidden somewhere in this [[Poshley Sanctum|sanctum]] to prevent such a theft!''"
*"''However... As to the location of the real [[Garnet Star|Crystal Star]]...''"
*"''Well, as Sanctum Manager, I am, of course, prohibited from telling anyone...''"
*"''However...I do know where [[Garnet Star|it]] is! Of that you can be most certain! Yes, indeed!''"
*"''Besides, I am sure a junior detective like [[Mario|yourself]] can could find [[Garnet Star|it]] on your own!''"
*"''Now, [[Mario|Luigi]]! Put to use all of the razor-sharp sleuthing skills I have taught you! Make me proud!''"
*"''Hm... So that is where [[Garnet Star|it]] was...''"
*"''Oh, er, nothing! NOTHING! Just talking to my brain. All genuises do it.''"
*"''Congratulations, [[Mario|Luigi]]! You have found the real [[Garnet Star|Crystal Star]]!''"
*"''So please, feel free to take [[Garnet Star|it]]... I will just put another fake one over here...''"
*"''Well, traveling with [[Mario|you]] has been rather hectic, but I do admit, rather fun, as well!''"
*"''I am sure you still a long road ahead, [[Mario|Luigi]], but do not give up!''"
*"''I do believe I will miss you when you are gone, [[Mario|Luigi]].''"
*"''Oh, and, [[Mario|Luigi]]... Please give my regards to your [[Mario|dear brother]]!''"
*"''You there! I have you now, villains! You...are common thieves! Aren't you? AREN'T YOU???''"
*"''My eyes never deceive!''"
*"''…Uh-oh. B-Bowser, you say? Remorseless King of… What was that last bit, again? Yes, well, no matter! Hmm… Yes… Yes… I… So I deduced! Ahem! Then listen well! That Crystal Star is actually a veritable red herring! Yes! An imposter!''"
*"''What? The Shadow Thief?!? I knew this had the scent of no mere burglary!!! Ha! You've been hornswoggled, [[Bowser|Shadow Thief]]...for that is a red herring! A fake!''"
*"''I see… Unfortunately for you… that's a red herring. Yes, a fake. If you want it, it's yours.''"
*"''If [[Kammy Koopa|you]] must know, I gave the real [[Garnet Star|one]] to [[Luigi]]! Ohhhhh ho ho ho ho ho!''"
*"''...Will [[Bowser|you]], now? [[Luigi]]! Well done, lad! Way to not fail! ...Yet.''"
*"''M–Mario?? G–Gonzales?? Not... [[Luigi|L–Luigi]]??''"
*"''Luigi... Er, no, rather... I mean M–Mario... How are you, dear boy?''"

==[[Piranha Plant]]==
*"''Prepare to be ensnared, mystified, and devoured!''"

==[[Petuni]]==
*"''...Big brother?!? Is that my Punio?''"
*"''I knew you'd come for me, [[Punio]]! I just KNEW it!''"
*"''OK!''"
*"''[[Punio|Big brother]]! You came!''"
*"''OK, [[Punio|big brother!]] I'll be waiting.''"
*"''It's [[Dried Mushroom|a mushroom]]...''"
*"''Yeah, Yeah, I know... I picked [[Dried Mushroom|it]] so I could give it to [[Punio|my brother]] to eat. But then I got captured and stuck in here, and after a few days it dried out...''"
*"''[[Punio|Big brother]]!!!''"
*"''Nope! I'm fine!''"
*"''Hey, [[Punio|Big brother]]... I have something for you!''"
*"''I meant to give [[Dried Mushroom|this]] to [[Punio|you]] sooner, but...''"
*"'' [[Mushrooms]] are your favorite, aren't they, [[Punio|big brother]]? But... Well [[Dried Mushroom|this one]] kinda got dried out...''"
*"''[[Punio|Big brother]]... [[Dried Mushroom|It]] was icky, wasn't it?''"
*"''I'm sorry.''"
*"''[[Punio|Big brother]]? You OK?''"
*"''Hey, quit it, [[Punio]]! C'mon! Don't get all mushy! Everyone's staring!''"
*"''...Aw, it was nothing!''"
*"''Eek! Y-You're scary, Mister Giant Bad-Breath Monster!''"
*"''[[Punio|Brother]]!!! [[Mario]]'s in trouble! That's what the [[Crystal Star]] is here to tell us! I just KNOW it!''"
*"''[[Mario]]! [[Flurrie]]! C'mon! Don't give up!''"
*"''...[[Punio|B-Brother]]?
*"''Take these with you!''"
*"''These are VERY fresh [[Mushrooms]]!''"

==[[Pine T. Sr.]]==
*"''Huh? What? Who are you??? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!''"
*"''Wow! Did you come here just to save me?''"
*"''Really? [[Pine T. Jr.]]? Wow! Good... I have to get back alive. Show me the way out!''"
*"''Don't mind me! Just beat 'em!''"
*"''OK. Let's go.''"
*"''Hey! The exit! OK, [[Pine T. Jr.]]! I'm on my way home!''"
*"''Sorry for troubling you.''"

==[[Podler]]==
*"''Oh, you're Mr. Gonzales! Yeah, that's the mustache I've been waiting for!''"
*"''Actually, you're pretty late... Somebody left a package and a note by the door a bit ago.''"
*"''The letter said: "Look for a thick-'stached man named Gonzales and give him this."''"
*"''The "this" the letter was talking about is...[[Super Hammer|this]].''"
*"''So far's I could tell, that hammer's a new model, the HAMMERWHACK 2005...''"
*"''Real nice hammer all around. Solid craftsmanship, good grip, high bonkability.''"
*"''The commercials for this thing say that the hammer chooses its user...''"
*"''They aren't cheap, either, so whoever gave this to you must be a big fan.''"
*"''But... Why leave it in this juice shop? Doesn't that strike you as a bit odd?''"
*"''I mean, it's not like it's that hard to hand a gift a pro fighter...''"

==[[Podley]]==
*"''Admiral Bobbery? Yeah... Yeah, I know him. You know that house just past the wall in the eastern part of town? That's his. But I think both you and he would be better off if you just let him be...''"
*"''You say Bobbery won't go to sea, huh? Well, can't say that surprises me.''"
*"''The real question is, are you folks REALLY sure you want Bobbery back on the water?''"
*"''Oh, is that it? Now I see... You want to mount an expedition to Keelhaul Key... Rough seas out there.''"
*"''In that case, get ready... Bobbery's tale of woe goes something like this...''"
*"''A virus? A passing cold? No one knew, but it soon turned serious. Bobbery, at sea on a long, lonely voyage, knew nothing of his bride's suffering.''"
*"''They tormented him always, haunting his sleep. He has never gone out to sea since.''"
*"''You all know his tale now... So, tell me: do you still want him to return to sea?''"
*"''In that case, let the miserable old soul be and make your way without him.''"
*"''It was her last request. But when I saw Bobbery in misery, trying to forget the pain as he mourned his wife... I just couldn't bring myself to present this letter to him. I've regretted it ever since.''"
*"''Please... Take this letter, and do the deed I was too cowardly to do: take it to Bobbery.''"

==[[Pokey]]==
*"''Go ahead... Touch usssssss... It won't hurrrrrrrrrrrrt....too muchhhhh...''"

==[[Princess Peach]]==
*"''Finally! I have a minute without [[Toadsworth]] watching over me! He's so paranoid!''"
*"''I come all the way [[Rogueport|here]] on holiday...only to be stuck with Toadsworth! It's so stifling!''"
*"''Once in a while I'd like the chance to look around on my own and see what I want.''"
*"''But...now that I'm doing it, all I see is that [[Rogueport|this town]] has a very...umm...distinct flavor...''"
*"''Do [[Beldam|you]] mean...me?!?''"
*"''Oh! Well... Umm...''"
*"''Well, that's a pretty box! What's inside it?''"
*"''Ooooh...''"
*"''Um... All right... What's the harm?''"
*"''I'll try to open it.''"
*"''I'm telling [[Sir Grodus|you]], I don't know.''"
*"''Mario!''"
*"''Oh no!''"
*"''Oh, dear... Here we go again...''"
*"''I can't believe I'm kidnapped again. [[Mario]] and [[Toadsworth]] must be worried sick. Again."
*"''But...hang on a moment! Where in the world am I, anyway? It's so unfamiliar...''"
*"''I wish I could at least let Mario and Toadsworth know that I've been caught...''"
*"''What a lovely shower! No soap scum, even! Wow. I wonder if it works...''"
*"''Ahhhhhh! Hee hee!''"
*"''How refreshing! I feel like a new princess!''"
*"''Hmm? What was that? Hey! How odd... The doors opened by themselves.''"
*"''Weird... It doesn't look like...anyone's around.''"
*"''How do I keep making these doors open? How odd...''"
*"''Huh? What? Who said that? Where are [[TEC-XX|you]]?''"
*"''[[Grodus]]... Wait, he's that awful dome-headed thing who interrogated me, right?''"
*"''Well, I don't think so. But I doubt I'll change [[TEC-XX|your]] mind... So, I'm wondering... Why did you lead me in here?''"
*"''Wait... Did [[TEC-XX|you]] just say... You want to observe me? ...To know more about me? Could it be that you...''"
*"''No! Impossible! It can't be! [[TEC-XX|You]]'re a computer...''"
*"''Oh, I couldn't, really... Because...it's just too weird.''"
*"''Well, [[TEC-XX|you]] know, maybe... Is it possible that, well...you're...in love...with me?''"
*"''Wait, [[TEC-XX|you]] don't know what love is?''"
*"''Love... How do I explain? Love tells you when you want to be with a person forever. It makes you feel happy just to see that person happy, smiling...having fun.''"
*"''When you love someone, you will do anything to help when he or she is in trouble.''"
*"'''Comprehend' love? Love's not something you comprehend, [[TEC]]. You feel it."
*"''What? [[TEC-XX|You]]'re a computer! Why would you care about love?''"
*"''What, are [[TEC-XX|you]] insane? You [[X-Nauts (organization)|X–Jerks]] kidnapped me like common [[Koopa Troop|Koopa]]s!"
*"''And now [[TEC-XX|you]] call me in here and ask me to teach you the meaning of love?''"
*"''I should spit on [[TEC-XX|your]] screen! You'll grant my wishes? Ha! Why should I believe you?''"
*"''Are [[TEC-XX|you]] sure? Well, OK... Here goes...''"
*"''Can I contact someone? The sooner, the better...''"
*"''[[TEC-XX|You]] mean this keyboard? All right... Let me give this a shot.''"
*"''OK, it's ready, TEC. Could you send it?''"
*"''Uh... OK then. Good night.''"
*"''Oh, Mario... Did you even read the mail I sent you? I wonder...''"
*"''I wonder so many things... I wonder how everyone is doing at the castle...''"
*"''Will I never dance at the Mushroom Ball again?''"
*"''What will become of me?''"
*"''Hmm... Doesn't seem to open.''"
*"''Oh! Is this TEC's doing again?''"
*"''That mail I sent to Mario... Did it reach him all right?''"
*"''Is that so? Well, good...''"
*"''So what do [[TEC-XX|you]] want from me today? Is there more you want to know of love?''"
*"''Ex-CUSE me?!? Were [[TEC-XX|you]] eavesdropping?''"
*"''Find out what caused it? There's no reason behind such a feeling, TEC.''"
*"''Wanting to do something together... It's part of love. I know it.''"
*"''But then again... [[TEC-XX|You]] are...well...a computer.''"
*"''Wait... Wait just a minute! What...am I supposed to do? [[TEC-XX|You]] say you want to dance? It's just so...bizarre...''"
*"''I mean, how in the world can I dance with [[TEC-XX|you]]? You have no arms. Or feet. Or moves.''"
*"''Oh my goodness! Is that me? Did [[TEC-XX|you]] create that? ...Oh, all right, I guess.''"
*"''I must say, though, it's going to feel weird, dancing with myself...''"
*"''TEC? Are you OK?''"
*"''I'm finished, TEC. Could you send it?''"
*"''[[TEC-XX|You]]'re a weeeeird computer.''"
*"''Hmm? Oh! Is this the uniform? Am I supposed to wear this ugly thing?''"
*"''I don't know about this...It's awfully tight. And it kind of smells a bit...''"
*"''Phew! Who knows how, but I got into it. I can barely breathe, though.''"
*"''There are no clothes in here! Hm… Must be somewhere else.''"
*"''TEC? Did you call me?''"
*"''What shall I do today? Will it be dancing, perhaps? Disguising? Or will I sing a song or something?''"
*"''Huh? What's wrong, TEC? You don't seem yourself...''"
*"''What do [[TEC-XX|you]] mean?''"
*"''A quiz?''"
*"''What's with [[TEC-XX|you]] all of a sudden, huh?''"
*"''TEC... Is this...''"
*"''TEC... You... Was it okay for you to tell me such things?''"
*"''Uh... OK. I'm done. Could [[TEC-XX|you]] send it?''"
*"''Thank [[TEC-XX|you]]... You're still a weird computer, TEC.''"
*"''You inhuman beast! How could you?''"
*"''Where am I?''"
*"''[[Mario|MARIO]]!''"
*"''Mario... I'm so sorry. Sending you that map... caused all this trouble, didn't it...''"
*"''Who knew all this would happen?''"
*"''I don't know how to thank you, but know that the [[Mushroom World|entire world]] is in your debt!''"
*"''Yes... [[Toadsworth]] found a treasure map! And I'm sure it will lead to REAL treasure this time! I just know it!''"
*"''So, [[Mario]]! You'd love to look for treasure, isn't that right? The boat's waiting for you!''"

==[[Professor Frankly]]==
*"''Whuzzah??? Who's there? Who wants me?''"
*"''Ah. Yes. [[Goombella|You]]. Now, you, uh...''"
*"''I've seen that face before... Yes, that face...''"
*"''Wait for it... Just a moment... Don't tell me, now! Silence! I'll get it right!''"
*"''Umm... It's not Goombriel...''"
*"''Err... It's not Elizagoom...''"
*"''Hrrrmmmm... Errrmmm... A-HAAA! I've got it!!!''"
*"''You're [[Goombella]], aren't you? You were in my archaeology class last year, am I right?''"
*"''Of course I remember [[Goombella|you]]. Not to toot my horn, but I'm pretty good at remembering.''"
*"''[[Goombella|You]], though... You stick out in my mind because you were such an exceptional student.''"
*"''And that [[Mario|guy]] behind [[Goombella|you]] is... WHO?!?''"
*"''Oh! My apologies. I'm such a bookworm, I haven't a clue about what's 'hip' right now.''"
*"''In any case, what sort of errand brings you two all the way to a place like [[Rogueport|this]]?''"
*"''Of course I know about it. The reason I came [[Rogueport|here]] was to study that very subject. But why do you tykes want to learn about the legendary treasure? You know that most say it's little more than a fairy tale, don't you?''"
*"''Good point! And well made! In that case, I'll cooperate with [[Goombella|you]] however I can.''"
*''First of all, about the treasure... There are many mysteries surrounding it. Some say it's an infinitely vast treasure hoard, while others say it's a magical item. Some books say it's actually a monster, while still others claim it's an empty chest... So many different theories... Obviously, it's impossible to divine the truth among them.''"
*"''...But all agree on one point: to find the treasure, one must have the [[Crystal Stars]]!''"
*"''Indeed, the same. As the saying goes, if you want to find the legendary treasure... You first must collect the seven Crystal Stars.''"
*"''Correct! And [[the Thousand-Year Door]] is supposedly [[Rogueport|here]], deep beneath this town.''"
*"''Yet the critical piece of the puzzle--the [[Magical Map]]--is lost. If only we had that map!''"
*"''WHAAAT??? Hummina hubbity hubbida hippity hoobida hammala huffala hoofala... REALLY?''"
*"''[[Mario|You]]... You actually have [[Magical Map|it]]? Could I...just take a quick look at it, if you don't mind?''"
*"''Astounding! This is [[Magical Map|it]]! The real thing! The one and only Magical Map!''"
*"''[[Mario|You]], son, are my HERO! You're great! Fantastic! WONDERFUL, even!''"
*"''With [[Magical Map|this]]... We can find the Crystal Stars just by holding this aloft before the [[The Thousand-Year Door|legendary door]]!''"
*"''Good golly, what are we doing just sitting here, then?!? Goombella! Mario! Off we must go, this instant! Let's take the Magical map to the [[The Thousand-Year Door|legendary door]]!"
*"''I bet you didn't know this rotten old thing came off, did you? Heh heh!''"
*"''We can use this pipe to get down under the [[Rogueport|city]] streets! Come on! Both of you! Let's get moving!''"
*"''Oh, wait, hang on a second... Mario! Something just occurred to me.''"
*"''I'm fairly certain there are quite a few hoodlums below. So, uh...keep [[Mario|your]] guard up.''"
*"''You two do know about your [[Action Command]]s, don't you?''"
*"''Really? A master, are [[Mario|you]]? Maybe you ought to practice [[Action Command|them]] once, just to be safe?''"
*"''A bold young lad, aren't [[Mario|you]]! Very well, then! Down we go!''"
*"''Just stand on the pipe and tilt {{button|gcn|Stick}} Down to enter it.''"
*"''A [[Goomba]], a [[Spiked Goomba|Spiny Goomba]], and a [[Paragoomba]]! My! The whole Goomba family tree!''"
*"''The only one I should warn you about is that fellow in the middle: the [[Spiked Goomba|Spiny Goomba]]. See that spike on his head? Well, jump on that and you're the one who'll take damage!''"
*"''The [[Paragoomba]]'s airborne, so you're hammer won't reach. You'll have to jump for him.''"
*"''Always take your opponent's situation into consideration when fighting! Always!''"
*"''...Oh! That's right! I forgot to tell you something vital!''"
*"''You can press {{button|gcn|Y}} to change the order you two attack in! You can attack first if you feel like it, Goombella. Don't forget that!''"
*"''Are you ready, Mario? There are plenty more where they came from, and they'll all have it in for us.
*"''When they attack, try to hammer them or jump on them while in the field...''"
*"''Attack successfully and you can perform a [[First Strike]] when you enter battle.''"
*"''So if an enemy catches sight of you, be sure to thump them as you go into battle.''"
*"''Er, Mario... A word with you? I'm not exactly confident we can trust this...[[Black chest|box]].''"
*"''I think it may be best not to mention we're looking for the Crystal Stars. ...Well, drat. I just said it out loud! What's wrong with me?''"
*"''Oh! [[Mario]]! [[Goombella]]! Look...at...THAT!''"
*"''It's the [[The Thousand-Year Door|Thousand-Year Door]] spoken of in the legends! I can't believe it's real!''"
*"''So the legends are all true! There [[The Thousand-Year Door|it]] is, big as life! Come! Let's move closer!''"
*"''Hrmmm... It appears that information related to the locations of the [[Crystal Stars]] appeared...''"
*"''And that shining light... It looked as if a mysterious power was given to [[Mario]]...''"
*"''Well... One way or another... We should return to my place and study the [[Magical Map|map]] closely.''"
*"''Hrmmm... Aha! I see!''"
*"''[[Goombella|My dear]], of course I do! Firstly, about that light we saw shining on [[Mario]]... By my reckoning, Mario can now perform what is known as a special move.''"
*"''Yes, it... Well... Stuff like this is better explained by example rather than words. Would you like to try it out?''"
*"''This is VERY important. You'd better listen. I mean it. Are you ready to listen?''"
*"''Hmm... You're absolutely sure? Well, all right, then.''"
*"''Let's have at look at that [[Magical Map]] and see what we can learn about the... WOW! ASTOUNDING! This map has radar-like functions! It now shows the location of a [[Crystal Stars|Crystal Star]]!''"
*"''It looks like the first Crystal Star is to be found in a place called the [[Petal Meadows]].''"
*"''Yes. The [[Petal Meadows|area]] is a vast meadow that lies far to the east of [[Rogueport]]. To tell you the truth... I've always thought that place was a tad suspicious. The name Petal Meadows did come up from time to time in my research.''"
*"''I'm fairly certain that somewhere beneath [[Rogueport|the city]] is a pipe to [[Petal Meadows]]. If you could just find that, you'd get there instantly. Pipe travel's efficient.''"
*"''Say, by the way, [[Mario]]... I'm curious. Where did you get that [[Magical Map|map]], anyway?''"
*"''From [[Princess Peach]]? Really? Her Highness sent [[Magical Map|this]] to you, [[Mario]]?''"
*"''So it IS [[Princess Peach|her]]! Your princess came to see me the other day. She wanted to learn about the treasure...''"
*"''I told [[Princess Peach|her]] about the [[Crystal Stars]] and my suspicions about [[Petal Meadows]]... It doesn't seem likely, but perhaps she tried to go to Petal Meadows on her own...''"
*"''Hrmm... But I can't imagine [[Princess Peach]] getting involved with [[X-Nauts (organization)|THEM]]...''"
*"''All right! It's settled! Off to [[Petal Meadows]] you two go! If [[Princess Peach]] indeed went there, your first priority must be to catch up to her. Collecting the [[Crystal Stars]] is a means to an end...and that end is Princess Peach!''"
*"''No, I'll stay in [[Rogueport|town]] and ask around about [[Princess Peach]] and that [[X-Nauts (organization)|suspicious gang]].''"
*"''Besides, I doubt a shriveled old [[Goomba]] like me could handle the trials of the road.''"
*"''Of course, if anything happens and you need some advice, come see me, OK?''"
*"''Wait just a moment!''"
*"''[[Mario]], it's scary out there. Take this with you. It's called a [[badge]], and it is incredibly helpful.''"
*"''You see, depending on the [[Badge|badges]] you have equipped, you'll get much more powerful.''"
*"''What's important is knowing what the effects will be when you first equip a [[badge]].''"
*"''Would you like you like to practice equipping and removing [[Badge|badges]]?''"
*"''Are you absolutely sure? This is the last time I'll ask. Do you want to practice?''"
*"''By the way, you need [[Flower Point|Flower Points (FP)]] to use the Power Smash move. In battle, you should watch not only your HP, but FP, too. Did you get all that?''"
*"''Well, here's hoping you find that pipe to [[Petal Meadows]].''"
*"''Hrmm... Mmmm HRRRRMMMM... I see. I see. Crystal clear!''"
*"''[[Emerald Star|It]]'s in the [[Boggly Woods]]. The second Crystal Star is inside [[the Great Tree|a great tree]] there.
*"''About [[Boggly Woods|those woods]]... I think...some odd creatures live there.''"
*"''If memory serves, there's a pipe beneath [[Rogueport|town]] that leads to [[Boggly Woods|those woods]].''"
*"''Uh-oh. If Princess Peach's kidnappers are also looking for the Crystal Stars...''"
*"''What could they hope to achieve? Could the treasure be... Ugh! Too many unknowns!''"
*"''Unfortunately, the only clues we can rely on are the Crystal Stars and that map.''"
*"''Yes, I recommend [[Mario|you]] do just that. And find [[Emerald Star|it]] before the princess's captors do! But don't be hasty! If you're low on items or health, drop by the shop and inn first.''"
*"''I'll keep researching to learn more about the Crystal Stars and the ancient treasure.''"
*"''I must research this more. Assuming will just make an... Well, you know the saying.''"

==[[Puni elder]]==
*"''[[Punio]]! Is that you? You're looking well.''"
*"''Oh, a rescuing, is it? Well, thanks, I suppose. Those are quite exiting.''"
*"''But...I think you ought to help the other Punies before you rescue me.''"
*''''"'FOOLISH CHILD!'''''"
*"''[[Punio]]! Sit down this instant and keep your mouth shut!''"
*"''Stop your mumbling, [[Punio|you]]! And mind your elders! You whelp!''"
*"''How could [[Punio|you]] abandon [[Petuni|your poor sister]] and run off like that... Absolutely shameful!''"
*"''Oh, stop with the whining! [[Punio|You]] never interrupt an elder mid-lecture! NEVER! You wonder why the other [[Puni|Punies]] call you a "doofus" sometimes? That's why. And your time to be a doofus is over, because you have to lead our Puni tribe one day! That day is not far off! ...And THAT is why you need to listen! Now, first of all...''"
*"''...or else! [[Punio|you]] got that? From now on, you've got to get your act together, Punio!''"
*"''Bah! Only answer ONCE!''"
*"''...But say, by the way, why are [[Punio|you]] here, anyway?''"
*"''Oh, is that so? Well, good! In that case, get me out of here already! Criminy!''"
*"''This cell is cold, which isn't good for the old back, and there's this damp stench...''"
*''''"'You stubborn MULE'''!''"
*"''Deplorable! How DARE [[Puniper|you]] talk like that, knowing what we're up against?!? We must stand together now! We must take back our tree! Don't you understand that?''"
*"''Shut your trap, [[Puniper]]! And mind me, you hear! You'll help [[Mario|Mustachio]] here...''"
*"''What'd you say [[Mario|your]] name was again? It was, er... It was Marty, wasn't it?''"
*"''Yes, Yes, simmer down, [[Punio|you]]. And everyone else, help [[Mario|Marty-o]] clear out our tree!''"
*"''There you go, my [[Punies]]! That's the spirit!''"
*"''The [[Emerald Star|Crystal Star]], eh? Hrrrrrmmmmmmm... Yes, perhaps...''"
*"''Hidden down, down, down at the bottom of [[The Great Tree|this tree]] is a funny-colored stone. But what do we do with it? Oh, right: 'Guard it from evil and give it to a pure heart... That's what generations of elders have been taught Might be the [[Emerald Star|Crystal Star]]...''"
*"''[[Mario|Marty]]! Or...Marty-o! I'm thinking you better get it before [[X-Nauts|those goons]] do.''"
*"''I don't see quite how just yet, but I bet it's connected to us getting [[The Great Tree|our tree]] back.''"
*"''You got all that, [[Mario|Marty-o]]? [[Emerald Star|Crystal Star]]. Bottom part of the tree. Go to it.''"
*"''Oh! Hold your horses! I forgot something!''"
*"''Before [[Mario|you]] can get the [[Emerald Star|Crystal Star]], you must save all of the captured [[Punies]]. Yup, [[Mario|you]]'ll never get to that gem without the help of the [[Punies]]. Not a chance.''"
*"''So here, [[Mario|you'd]] better take this. It's the [[Puni Orb]]. It's the symbol of our leader.''"
*"''If you place [[Puni Orb|this]] in the pedestals you see around the tree, the punies will gather. Just remember to take [[Puni Orb|the orb]] with [[Mario|you]] when you're done using it. Because. well, if you don't, everyone'll just kind of hang out and stare at the orb.''"
*"''Oh, and one more thing... So sorry! So sorry! I've been awfully forgetful as of late. Now then, where was I? Oh right! On [[Mario|your]] way to the [[Emerald Star|Crystal Star]]... If [[Mario|you]] lose any of the [[Punies]] and have a hard time finding them, just come see me. What i'll do is, i'll give a wistle to call 'em back here. [[Mario|you]] got all that?''" 
*"''Hey! What's the matter?''"
*"''Well! I'm shocked! Who makes fun of a old woman like that! Honestly! Why, if I were just ten years younger, I'd show you! Oh, you'd best believe it! I'll have you know that in my younger days, I was considered a Puni prize! I had so many suitors, I had to fight them off! Eeeh hee hee hee hee hee! Now that I think about it there was a particulary fine boy named [[List of implied characters#Punderton|Punderton]]...''"
*"''...And that's how I became the Puni elder, the leader of the Puni tribe.''"
*"''Now you know my tale, and I know yours, so good luck to [[Mario|you]]!''"
*"''[[Lord Crump|You]] won't be going any farther this-a-way!''"
*''''"'WHAT?!?'''
*"''Did [[Lord Crump|you]] just call me an 'Old geezer'?!? Where do you get off, talking like that? You have no respect, brat! Don't think my age has anything to do with my might! Even if it kills me, I won't let you through! I'm ready! ELDER POWER ACTIVATE!''"
*"''Oh! Ooh! What the...OUCH! ...Can't take another step... Oooooooog...''"
*"''Ooh! What a time for my stupid back to start acting up!''"
*"''Oh, that little [[Punio]]!!! He's always, ALWAYS so darned squishy–washy!''"
*'''"''BEGONE!''"'''
*"''[[Bowser|You]]'re one of [[X-Nauts (organization)|them]], aren't you? One of the evildoers! You want our Crystal Star!''"
*'''"''How RUDE!''"'''
*"'''Ugly thing'? How DARE [[Kammy Koopa|you]], you wretched crone? I am the great Puni elder!''"
*"''Hmph! 'Hag-thing'? Honestly! In any case, [[Bowser|you]]'re too late! The Crystal Star is gone!''"
*"''That's right, [[Bowser|you rude thing]]! We gave [[Emerald Star|it]] to a mustachioed man named [[Mario|Marty-o]]! He said he was collecting the [[Crystal Stars|legendary treasures]] to rescue some princess... What did he call her? [[Princess Peach|Princess Pinch]]? Yep! He was off to save that lucky lass!''"
*"''What in the world... What's [[Emerald Star|THAT]] doing here? This is very mysterious... Yes, a mystery that...

==[[Punio]]==
*"''Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!!! D-Don't eat me!!!''"
*"''Huh? Uh... [[Mario|You]] didn't come to eat me? And you're not bullies?''"
*"''Noooooooo! Leave me alone, you big meanies!''"
*"''For real? Phew! Boy, that's good. I thought for a second I might have an accident.''"
*"''Wh-What?!? Why do [[Partners|you]] know about me?''"
*"''NOOO! Y-You must be... [[Mario|You]] [[Partners|guys]] are working for [[X-Nauts (organization)|those X-Nauts]], aren't you?!? You chased me [[Rogueport Sewers|here]]! Noooooo! It's the end!!!''"
*"''Well...OK. This gang of bad guys who call themselves X-Nauts came to where I live. They came inside our [[the Great Tree|Great Tree]] and started tearing it apart and causing trouble. So...I've come all the way [[Rogueport Sewers|here]] looking for help.''"
*"''Now that [[Partners|you]] mention it, they did say something about some Crystal Star thingy... But we [[Puni]]es don't know anything about any crystals or stars...''"
*"''Say, could [[Mario|you]] [[Partners|guys]] help us out? Maybe chase [[X-Nauts (organization)|them]] off? If you do, we'll give you, uh... What was it? The Crystal Star? If you do, we'll have the [[Puni elder]] give you that! I don't know what it is, but if it'll help us reclaim our tree, I'm sure the elder will agree!''"
*"''So what do [[Mario|you]] say? Let's not waste any more time. I'm begging you!''"
*"''Really?!? [[Mario|You]] aren't joking?!? You'll do it?!?''"
*"''Oh, thank [[Mario|you]] so much! This is great! I'm so happy!''"
*"''My name is Punio. Pleased to meet you!''"
*"''I'll take [[Mario|you]] to where I live. Follow me, OK?''"
*"''It's this way.''"
*"''Wait, hang on a second.''"
*"''I'm sure the Puni elder said some button around here opened the secret entrance... AH-HA!''"
*"''You can get to the woods we Punies live in by going through that pipe there. OK! Hurry! Hurry!''"
*"''Um, OK, just a bit further and we should be able to see the Great Tree. The elder and her friends are waiting for us there. Oh, and [[Petuni|my little sister]], too! Come on, let's go!''"
*"''...Uh... Excuse me!''"
*"''Ummm... Maybe [[Madame Flurrie|she]] isn't here. I wonder if she went for a walk in the woods.''"
*"''[[Madame Flurrie]]! Hellooooo? If you're here, say something!''"
*"''Uh...Madame Flurrie? Are you there? Is that you? ...What are you doing?''"
*"''Uh, well, the thing is... We have a problem that only [[Madame Flurrie|you]] can help us with, ma'am.''"
*"''[[The Great Tree]]'s entry hole is blocked. There's this stupid door we can't seem to open.''"
*"''My [[Puni|Puni friends]] are inside, so they're in a pickle, and [[Mario]] needs these [[Crystal Stars]]...''"
*"''It's a train wreck, really. If [[Madame Flurrie|you]] can't find the secret entrance for us, we're done.''"
*"''Don't worry, Madame Flurrie! I'm sure Mario can find your necklace. Word is, he's super!''"
*"''You can do it, right, Mario?''"
*"''Great! It's decided then! Let's go find [[Necklace (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|it]]!''"
*"''Huh? Did you say "nah"? Uh... What's wrong with you?''"
*"''Let's go find her [[Necklace (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|necklace]]!
*"''That's [[Necklace (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|Flurrie's necklace]]! Yes! Let's take it to her!''"
*"''This is wonderful! It's so nice that Flurrie likes you, Mario. Really, it's great!''"
*"''And even more importantly, Flurrie's chosen to join us! Let's go to [[the Great Tree]]!''"
*"''More nagging by the [[Puni elder|old hag]]... When will it ever stop?''"
*"''D-Don't worry, Petuni! Your big brother is here! We'll…gulp…get through this!''"

==[[Puniper]]==
*"''WAIT!''"
*"''How do we really know [[Mario|this burly fellow]] is our ally? He might be one of them!''"
*"''Hah! Big, bad [[Punio]]... Listen to yourself! Trying to sound all important-like!''"
*"''You have no idea the kind of troubles we've been through while [[Punio|you]] were gone!''"
*"''Well they've been captured... by [[X-Nauts|those goons]]!''"
*"''[[Puni elder|The elder]]... Everybody... Including... [[Petuni|Your sister]]!''"
*"''Oh, it's so, all right [[Petuni|She]] was taken off somewhere with the rest of them!''"
*"''They said it was because we wouldn't tell them where to find [[Emerald Star|some crystal thing]].''"
*"''We told them we never heard of it."
*"''What are you saying, [[Punio]]? We can't do anything to [[X-Nauts|those giant goons]]!
*"''Besides, they aren't alone. The Cursed [[Jabbi]] Tribe is in league with them.''"
*"''They're hoping to make [[The Great Tree|this tree]] their own once we've all been driven from it.''"
*"''This is it for us. The end! And adding [[Mario|this hairy old man]] to our ranks won't help a bit!''"
*"''Hah! Punio, Punio, Punio... You'll have to convince me, because I think you're nuts.''"
*"''Tell you what: You and [[Mario|Mr. Mustache]] there can get the revolution started!''"
*"''If [[Mario|you]] can free [[Puni|our friends]] who got locked up somewhere in the tree... then I'll join your little crusade. Hah! Like that'll ever happen! Please!''"
*"''Well, if it isn't [[Punio]]...
*"''Hmph! You heard me! Hmph! I can't say I expected you to manage to rescue [[Puni elder|the elder]]...
*"''Don't get a swelled head! This doesn't mean I'll accept [[Punio|you]] as our leader...''"
*"''And it definitly doesn't mean I completely trust [[Mario|that mustached guy]], either.''"
*"''For starters, you still haven't rescued the other Punies yet.''"
*"''I'm not lifting an antenna to help until you do.''"
*"''But... But, [[Puni elder|Elder]]...''"
*"''Oh, all right, [[Puni elder|Elder]].. Whatever you say.''"
*"''I'm not heartless or anything. To tell [[Puni elder|you]] the truth, I'm worried about [[Petuni]], too.''"
*"''And [[Puni elder|you're]] right, we have no choice. We must fight! Right, everybody?''"
*"''Yuh-Yuh-Yuh-Yuh-Yikes… This…guys…is…big…and bad! He's large and in charge!''"

==[[Rawk Hawk]]==
*"''That's right! Unh! I think it's about time for you to FEEL THE RAAAAAWK!''"
*"''Stay down, pincushion! You don't want more of this! Why'd you even show up? Yeah, you hear me talking, Wimpy! Stay outta the ring, or feel the burn, baby! Tell you what: do about a million push-ups and then come see Uncle Rawk Hawk! I'll give you another world-class spanking and send you crying home to Momma again!''"
*"''You call that a match? Ain't there a fighter out there who can challenge me? No! No one can! Hear me? Ain't a fighter out there that can even make me sweat! They're all a bunch of little crybabies, running around in stinky diapers! You got a bone to pick?!? Come fight me! Bring it! I'll take on anyone! You weaklings might as well stick to video-game fighting, OK? 'Cause I'll hurt you. YEAH! NUMBER ONE, BABY!!! RAWK HAWK IS THE CHAMP! Harharharharharharharharharharhar!''"
*"''Studly guy, coming through! Listen up, losers! I've been hearing about some rising star tearing up the league...''"
*"''It's you, isn't it! Yeah! You fit the bill, skinnt! A mustache named [[Mario|Gonzales]]! Man, I came all the way over here for YOU?!? Harharhar! What a waste of time!''"
*"''What in the... Hey! You! Get too close to the Hawk and you might get RAWKED!''"
*"''Hey, you think you can just smack-talk the Rawk Hawk? I DON'T THINK SO!''"
*"''You got some guts, calling my belt a fake, you shrimpy, no-belt- having wimps! Didn't your momma teach you any manners?!?''"
*"''Stop making fun of me, punk! You're alive ONLY 'cause we ain't in the ring right now! If I see you under those lights, I'll tear you apart! Remember the RAWWWWWWK!''"
*"''Har har har har har!''"
*"''Feel the RAAAAAWWWK...''"
*"''Rawk out, [[Mario|Great Gonzales]]!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAWK! Listen to me, Gonzales! Anybody who's beat me is not ALLOWED to lose!!!''"
*"''That's all ancient history! There's only one true champ, and that guy is Rawk Hawk!''"
*"''One of us is walking out of [[Glitz Pit|here]] with [[Champ's Belt|the belt]], and the other one's getting RAWKED!''"
*"''Hey, shut [[Jolene|your]] trap or this Gonzales won't be the only one feeling the RAAAAWK!''"
*"''I'm the champ, end of story! I'm a legend! And this legend is about to RAWK that dude!''"
*"''Harharharharharhar! Time for you to meet the new, improved Rawk Hawk!''"
*"''Feel the horror of a world–class RAAAAAWWWKING!''"
*"''No! I don't believe this! I... Am I actually gonna get Rawked AGAIN?''"
*"''Remember: When life rocks you, RAWK back!"
*"''Well, tell me something: you ever see a weakling... DO THIS?!? ...Pain.''"

==[[Red Bones]]==
*"''Blaarf harf harf HARF!''"
*"''[[Mario|You]] clearly don't value your lives much if you've come to [[Hooktail Castle|this castle]] to disturb us.''"
*"''[[Mario|You]] will go no farther, and from this moment on... You'll be nothing but bones!''"

==[[Riverside Station]] Toad worker==
*"''Could you go down to the control room in the station and flip the bridge switch?''"
**(No, sorry.)
**"''Oh… Well, now what are we going to do…''"

==[[Screamy]]==
*"''...I'm Screamy. I wonder what future is plotted for us by he who holds the compass...''"
*"''For I must deliver something...''"

==[[Shadow Queen]]==
*<i>"Who...has called me back?"
*"[[Grodus|You]]...''"
*"Very well... Where is the [[Princess Peach|vessel]]?"
*"Yessss... A fine vessel..."
*"Now..."
*"Muh huh huh huh... Witness my rebirth..."
*"My soul has not yet fully accustomed to this vessel..."
*"But I will learn to control this body soon enough..."
*"Who are you that would command me?" 
*"What sort of being are you?"
*"You would do well to learn your proper place, slave. No one commands me."
*"My powers are not yet fully restored..."
*"But...they will come in time..."
*"Ahh, [[Beldam]]... What ages have passed?"
*"So... You are the one truly responsible for calling me back, yessss?"
*"Yesss... You have fulfilled your duties admirably."
*"And who are these...[[Partners|beings]] that stand before me?"
*"Yesss... They do not appear to possess power..."
*"...But they may be of use. If you will become my faithful servants, I will not harm you."
*"Yesss... You are obedient... Good, my pet..." </i>(Become her servant)<i>
*"Now you are mine..."
*"You will serve me for eternity."
*"I see... So you defy me..." </i>(Refuse this witch!)<i>
*"How...amusing..."
*"Then, you wretched fools...you will learn the error of your ways!"
*"You are foolish to oppose me."
*"Yesss...and that foolishness...will have to be punished..."
*"Hmm... So, you are not weak. Maybe you are less useless than you appear."
*"This body is unfamiliar to me..."
*"Yesss, too unfamiliar... Let me assume my true form and show you real power..."
*"In this form, your attacks are like those of a child to me..."
*"You are lucky... You will perish with the honor of having seen true terror and power!"
*"Muh huh huh huh huh huh!''"
*"Muh huh huh huh huh huh! Is that your idea of an attack? Foolish..."
*"Hmmm... What a troublesome little pest you are. Muh huh huh huh huh..."
*"Muh huh huh huh huh... Now, taste my power!"
*"Yesss... I have recovered from any slight damage you many have caused earlier..."
*"And now...I will punish you for your resistance...''"
*"I will ask you again... Will you serve me? If so, I will forgive you for this..."
*"Muh huh huh huh huh... Very well..."
*"Then you will perish."
*"What... What is this?"
*"Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What... What are these vile voices?''"
*"What is this...light?''"
*"Oh..."
*"Ohh..."
*"Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhh......"
*"Wh-What?!?"
*"[[Princess Peach|You wretched little girl]]! You disobey me?!?"
*"You brat! Obey me, girl!"
*"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Very cunning, Princess!"
*"But you will not undo me!!! Know me as your queen!"
*"Enough! This ends now!''"
*"Wh-What..."
*"H-How is it that you can hurt me?"
*"Fooooooooools!"
*"Muh huh huh... You do not know what you have done...''"
*"Uuurghh..."
*"No... It... It cannot be... How..."
*"AAAAAIIYEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
*"Impossible... Unthinkable..."
*"How could I... I cannot be beaten by lesser beings such as these..."
*"And I had just been reborn into this world... I cannot... I must not..."
*"AAAAAIIYEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"</i>
===Japanese===
*ダレじゃ⋯ わらわを よびおこすものは⋯ (''What... What brings me here...'')
*そちか⋯ (''...and...'')
*まあ よい⋯ わらわの たましいの {{ruby|入|い}}れ{{ruby|物|もの}}は いずこしゃ？ (''Well, okay... Where is the vessel for my soul?'')
*ふむ⋯ なかなかのものじゃな⋯ (''Well... It is considerable...'')
*よかろう⋯ (''Very well...'')
*ふふふふ⋯ これで わらわは ふっかつしたわけだ (''Fufufufu... Now, my life is restored.'')
*まだ たましいと {{ruby|体|からが}}が かんぜんに {{ruby|一体|いつたい}}とは なっておらめが⋯ (''Though my soul and body are not yet united as one...'')
*しばらくすれば わが たましいも あたらしい{{ruby|体|からが}}に なじむであろう⋯ (''After a while, I will be able to adapt my soul to my new body...'')
*この わらわに めいれいを {{ruby|下|くだ}}そうとは⋯ (''Who are you to claim a position of authority over me...?'')
*そちは いったい なにものしゃ⋯? (''What in the world are you...?'')
*みのほども わきまえず わらわに さしずしようとは なんたる ぶれい (''You have no sense of propriety. And you have no sense of what is required of you. What a disgrace!'')
*まだ チカラも かんぜんには もどってあらめか⋯ (''My strength has not yet returned to me. I can't seem to get it back...'')
*ふむ⋯ それも しかたあるまい⋯ (''Hmm... That's the way it is...'')
*ん マジョリン⋯ ひさしいのう (''Ah, Beldam... It's been a long time.'')
*そうか⋯ そちが わらわを よみがえらせてくれたのじゃな (''Well, I see... So it was you. You brought me back to life.'')
*うむ⋯ ごくろうじゃったな (''Hm... Thank you for your hard work.'')
*ところで そちたちは なにものだ？ (''And who are you, by the way?'')
*ふむ⋯ {{ruby|見|み}}れは なかなかの {{ruby|面|つら}}がまえ (''Hmm... You're not so bad looking.'')
*どうだ わらわに つかえめか？ わらわの しもべに なれば わるいようには せめぞ (''Well, how about it? You want to be my servant? If you become my servant... I won't do anything bad to you.)
*なかなか ききわけの いいヤツじゃの⋯ よかろう⋯ (''You are a very good man, a man who knows his place... Good...'')
*これで そちは わらわのものだ (''Now you belong to me.'')
*{{ruby|一生|いっしょう}} わらわに つかえるがよい (''You will serve as a slave to me for the rest of your life.'')
*なるほど⋯ そちも わらわに さからうと いうか⋯ (''I see... So you are disobeying me, as well...)
*おもしろい⋯ (''Interesting...'')
*ならば そもむくい しかと うけるが よいわ (''In that case, you will receive your punishment.'')
*わらわに いどむとは なんと おろかな⋯ (''How foolish you are to threaten me...'')
*その おろかさ⋯ {{ruby|自|みずか}}らの しを もって つぐなうが いい⋯ (''Your foolishness... You will pay for it with your own life...'')
*ふむう⋯ そちも なかなか やるではないか サスガに わらわが {{ruby|見|み}}こんだオトコだ (''Hmm... You're not so bad yourself, are you? As is expected of someone whom I have watched so carefully.'')
*おもうように {{ruby|動|うご}}がなかった {{ruby|体|からが}}も じょじょに なじんできた⋯ (''My body wasn't moving like I wanted it to. I'm getting used to it...'')
*そろそろ わらわの {{ruby|本当|ほんとう}}の チカラを {{ruby|見|み}}せてくらよいそ⋯ (''It's about time. I'll show you my true power...'')
*この すがたで あれば そちの こうげきなぞは {{ruby|虫|むし}}に さされたほどにも きかぬ (''In this form, your attacks would be as minuscule as an insect's whisper.'')
*この すがたを わらわに とらせたことを こうえいに おもいながら しんでいくが よいぞ (''You shall rest in peace, knowing that you have earned the honor of being shown this form by me.'')
*ホーホッホッホッホッホッホッホッホ！(''Hoohohohohohohohoho!'')
*ホホホホ⋯ それでも こうげきしているつもりかえ？(''Hohohoho... You think you're still hitting me?'')
*ホホホホ⋯ わらわの チカラを おもいしるがよい！(''Hohohoho... You will feel my power!'')
*なんとも ふがいないヤツよの オ〜ホホホホッ⋯ (''What a poor fellow. Oh-ho-ho-ho...'')
*これで そちから うけた キズも ほうんど もとに もどった⋯ (''Now the injury from the other side is back to normal...'')
*さて⋯ あとは いかに そちを こらしめてやるかじゃな⋯ (''Well... Now we'll see how badly I can beat you...'')
*いまいちど そちたちに {{ruby|問|と}}う わらわに つかえる{{ruby|気|き}}は ないか？いまなら ゆるして つかわそうぞ⋯ (''I ask you once again. Are you going to serve me? I'll forgive you this time, and I'll spare you...'')
*ホホホホ⋯ よかろう⋯ (''Hohohoho... Very well...'')
*ならば そちたちの のぞみ{{ruby|通|どお}}り トドメを さして つかわそう (''Then I'll finish you off.'')
*な⋯ なんじゃ！？ (''What... what!?'')
*な な な なんじゃ⋯ この わずらわしい こえは⋯ (''W-w-w-what the heck... What's that annoying sound...'')
*こ この{{ruby|光|ひかり}}は⋯？(''Th-this light...?'')
*あ⋯ (''A...'')
*ああ⋯ (''Aa...'')
*ああああああああああああああ⋯⋯ (''Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa...'')
*な⋯ なんじゃ！(''What... what!'')
*こ {{ruby|小娘|こむすめ}}えつ！わらわに さけらう つもりか！！(''Y-You little brat! You think you can get away with this!!'')
*おのれ！{{ruby|小娘|こむすめ}}えーーーつ！！(''You! You little brat!!'')
*ええい！どこまでも こざかいい {{ruby|小娘|こむすめ}}め！！(''Hey! You're the most annoying little girl I've ever met!!'')
*じゃが なにを しようと ムダじゃ わらわは {{ruby|女王|じょおう}}なのじゃから！！ (''But no matter what you do, it's no use, for I am the queen!!'')
*ふんっ！けちらしてくれるわ！！(''Darn it! I'm going to kick your butt!!'')
*な⋯ なんじゃと⋯ (''Wh... What...'')
*わ⋯ わらわの この{{ruby|体|からが}}に キズが つくとは⋯ (''How... how this body of mine is damaged...'')
*おのれ〜〜〜っ！(''Curse yooooou!'')
*ふん まだまだ これからじゃぞ (''Hmph. This is just the beginning.'')
*くあ⋯ (''Kua...'')
*ま⋯ ませか⋯ こんな はずは⋯ (''N...no... This can't be...'')
*うああああああああ⋯⋯⋯ (''UAAAAAHHH...'')
*そんな⋯ そんな⋯ (''Oh, no... No, no...'')
*わらわが⋯ わらわが このような やからに たおされてしまうとは⋯ (''I never thought that I... that I would be defeated by such a brute...'')
*ふたたび この{{ruby|世|よ}}に よみがえつたと いうのに⋯ (''Even though I have been brought back to this world again...'')
*あああああああああああああああああ⋯ (''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH...'')

==[[Shellshock]]==
*"''Hey. You. Gonzales. Since you didn't want that cake, I ate it. Best cake I ever had, man. Sprinkles, frosting, the works. You're an idiot.''"
*"''Bluuurgh... Body...went...numb... Stupid...cake... Hate...cake... Never...eat...cake...again...''"
*"''Legs...like...grape...jelly... Shell...shaking... Hate...you... cake... Hate...you...''"
*"''You're pretty strong, but your partners are strong, too, baby! Maybe I should get new partners, huh?''"
*"''Welcome back, Gonzales! I'm psyched to fight in the same league with you again!''"

==[[List of shops in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door|Shopkeeps]]==
===[[Toad Bros. Bazaar]]===
====General====
*"''Hey, there, fella! Welcome to the Toad Bros. Bazaar!''"
*"''What can I do for you?''"
*"''If you're shopping, just stand in front of what you want and press {{button|GCN|A}}, OK?''" (Buying)
*"''Come again, OK?''" (Leaving)

====Buying====
*"''I'm gonna need [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Want to buy it, fella?''"
*"''Oooh... Gee, sorry, fella, but you don't have enough coins.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''Listen, fella, it looks to me like you can't carry any more items. Yeah, sorry about that.''" (Full inventory)
*"''I'll sell you something after you use, sell, or store some of your stuff, OK?''"
*"''Hey, thanks very much, fella!''" (Item bought)
*"''Oh, and I'll add [#] shop points to your total!''"

====Selling====
*"''Huh? Listen, fella, you need to actually HAVE something for me to want to buy it.''" (No items)
*"''What do you want to sell?''"
*"''I'll pay you [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. How about it?''"
*"''I see... Is there anything else you want to sell, fella?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Thanks, fella!''" (Item sold, 1 item)
*"''Hey, thanks very much, fella!''" (Item sold, more items)
*"''Is there anything else you want to sell?''"

====Storing====
*"''Huh? Maybe I misheard you, but I'm pretty sure you don't have anything to store.''" (No items)
*"''Ooh, I'm sorry, fella, but I can't store anything else.''" (Full storage)
*"''I can store [#] more item(s) for you, fella. Want to store something?''"
*"''OK, no problem. I'll store it for you at no charge, fella.''" (Item stored)
*"''Then I'll store it for you, sound good?''" (Item stored, more items)
*"''Is there anything else you want to store, fella?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Huh? I don't have any of your items in storage, fella.''" (No items in storage)
*"''It looks like you can't carry anything else, fella.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Come back after you use, sell, or store something, OK?''"
*"''What would you like to retrieve, fella?''"
*"''OK. Here you go!''" (Item claimed)
*"''Use it wisely, fella.''"
*"''You want to retrieve anything else, fella?''" (Item claimed, more items)

====Point Explanation====
*"''Hey there, fella! Welcome! Is this your first time in our shop? I think it is!''"
*"''I always like to explain our shop-point system to new customers, so bear with me.''"
*"''Customers receive one shop point for each purchase they make. You with me so far?''"
*"''Save up enough shop points and you can get prizes, including some rare items.''"
*"''You'll find a list of prizes posted in any shop, so be sure to check it out.''"
*"''It's a pretty simple promotion, wouldn't you say, fella? Need me to explain it again?''"
*"''OK, in that case...''" (Yes)
*"''Well, take your time, and enjoy your shopping, fella!''" (No)

====Points====
*"''You currently have...[#] point(s), fella!''"
*"''You've saved up enough shop points, fella!''" (Enough points)
*"''Guess what you've earned! This [Item]!''"
*"''Ooh, it looks like you can't carry anything else, fella.''"
*"''Come back after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?'''
*"''Well, you've earned a gift with your shop points, but you can't carry it right now.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''Anything else I can do for you, fella?''"
*"''You saved up 300 shop points! That's the most ever! The maximum! Congrats!''" (300 shop points)
*"''So, I guess from here...''"
*"''Wow! You won't believe this! This is incredible, fella!''"
*"''You get to start collecting points ALL OVER AGAIN!''"
*"''Oh, and you get the amazing 300-point present, fella! A Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Westside Goods]]===
====General====
*"''Hi there, cutie! Welcome to Westside Goods!''"
*"''What can I do for you?''"
*"''If you're shopping, just stand in front of what you want and press {{button|GCN|A}}, OK, sweetie pie?''" (Buying)
*"''Come on back, sweetie!''" (Leaving)

====Buying====
*"''It's going to be [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Care to buy it, cutie?''"
*"''Oooh... Aw, sorry, sugar, but you don't have enough coins.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''Hey, sweetie, it looks to me like you can't carry any more items. Bummer!''" (Full inventory)
*"''I'll sell you something after you use, sell, or store some of your things, OK?''"
*"''Aw, THANKS, sugar!''" (Item bought)
*"''Oh, and I'll add [#] shop points to your total!''"

====Selling====
*"''Hm? Ummmm, cutie, I can only buy stuff from you if you actually have stuff.''" (No items)
*"''What do you want to sell?''"
*"''I'll pay you [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. Sound good?''"
*"''Oh, OK... Anything else you want to sell, sweetie pie?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Aw, THANKS, sugar!''" (Item sold, 1 item)
*"''Aw, thanks SO much, cutie!''" (Item sold, more items)
*"''Anything else you want to sell, maybe?''"

====Storing====
*"''Hm? But, honey, you don't have a THING to store!''" (No items)
*"''Aw, sorry, honey, but I can't store anything else!''" (Full storage)
*"''I can store [#] more item(s) for you, hon. Want to store something?''"
*"''My pleasure, sweetie. I'll store it for you.''" (Item stored)
*"''Then I'll store it for you, OK?''" (Item stored, more items)
*"''Anything else you want to store, cutie-pie?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Hm? I don't have any of your items in my storage, you silly billy!''" (No items in storage)
*"''Aw, you can't carry anything else, cuteness!''" (Full inventory)
*"''Come back after you use, sell, or store something, OK?''"
*"''What would you like to retrieve, sugar?''"
*"''OK! Here you are!''" (Item claimed)
*"''Good luck with it, cutie!''"
*"''You want to retrieve anything else, cute stuff?''" (Item claimed, more items)

====Point Explanation====
*"''Hey there, cutie-pie! Is this your first time in my shop? Uh-huh, I knew it!''"
*"''I always like to explain our shop-point system to new customers, so listen, OK?''"
*"''Customers get one shop point for each purchase they make, right?''"
*"''Save up enough shop points and you can get prizes, including some rare items.''"
*"''You'll find a list of prizes posted in any shop, so be sure to check it out, OK?''"
*"''It's a pretty simple promotion, don't you think, cutie? Need me to explain it again?''"
*"''OK, in that case...''" (Yes)
*"''Well, take your time, and enjoy your shopping, cutie!''" (No)

====Points====
*"''Right now, you have...[#] point(s), sweetie pie!''"
*"''You've saved up enough shop points, sugar!''" (Enough points)
*"''Know what you've earned? This [Item]!''"
*"''Aw, it looks like you can't carry anything else, you poor baby.''"
*"''Come back after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?'''
*"''You've saved up enough shop points, sweetness!''"
*"''Aw, you've earned a gift with your shop points, but you can't carry it right now.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''Anything else I can do for you, sugar bean?''"
*"''You saved up 300 shop points! That's the most ever! The maximum! Wow!''" (300 shop points)
*"''So, I guess from here...''"
*"''Wow! You won't believe this! This is awesome, cutie-pie!''"
*"''You get to start collecting points ALL OVER AGAIN!''"
*"''Oh, and you get the amazing 300-point present, sugar! A Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Niff T.'s shop]]===
====General====
*"''Come in, come in! Welcome! Welcome to Niff T.'s shop!''"
*"''What can I do for you today?''"
*"''If you're here to shop, just stand in front of an item and press {{button|GCN|A}}.''" (Buying)
*"''Come again, OK?''" (Leaving)

====Buying====
*"''It's [#] coin(s) for [an Item]. Would you like one?''"
*"''Oops! Oh, gee, I'm sorry. You don't have enough coins.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''Oh, gee, it looks like you can't carry any more items.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Try again after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?''"
*"''Thank you so much!''" (Item bought)
*"''You earned [#] shop point(s)!''"

====Selling====
*"''Oops! Don't you feel silly? You don't have any items!''" (No items)
*"''What would you like to sell?''"
*"''I'll pay...[#] coin(s) for your [Item]. Do we have a deal?''"
*"''Oh. OK. Well, is there anything else you'd like to sell?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Thank you so very much!''" (Item sold, 1 item)
*"''Thank you so very much!''" (Item sold, more items)
*"''Is there another item you'd like to sell?''"

====Storing====
*"''Oops! Don't you feel silly? You don't have any items!''" (No items)
*"''I guess I can't store any for you.''"
*"''I'm terribly sorry, but you can't store any more items.''" (Full storage)
*"''You can store [#] more item(s), if you like. What do you say?''"
*"''Then allow me to store that for you!''" (Item stored)
*"''Then allow me to store that for you!''" (Item stored, more items)
*"''Shall I store anything else?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Oops! Don't you feel silly? We don't seem to have any of your items in storage.''" (No items in storage)
*"''Oops! It looks to me like you can't carry any more items.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Try again after you sell, use, or store an item, OK?''"
*"''What would you like to withdraw?''"
*"''Then I'll just give this back to you.''" (Item claimed)
*"''Use it well!''"
*"''Is there anything else you'd like to withdraw?''" (Item claimed, more items)

====Point Explanation====
*"''Oh, hello! Is this your first time visiting one of our wonderful shops?''"
*"''Then let me give you the explanation of shop points I give all first-time customers.''"
*"''Customers earn one shop point for each item they buy.''"
*"''As you build up your points, you'll earn various prizes, including rare items.''"
*"''The prizes are explained inside each individual store.''"
*"''And that's it!''"
*"''Need to hear it again?''"
*"''Oh, OK. No problem. Now, then...''" (Yes)
*"''Excellent! You're now free to shop, sell, or store items as you please.''" (No)

====Points====
*"''Right now, you have exactly...[#] point(s)!''"
*"''Wow! Congratulations!''" (Enough points)
*"''You've saved up enough shop points to earn yourself a free [Item]!''"
*"''Oops! It looks like you can't carry any more items.''"
*"''You can pick your prize up after you use, sell, or store an item. How's that sound?''
*"''You've earned enough shop points, Mario, but it looks like your pockets are full.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''Is there anything else I can do for you right now?''"
*"''Wow, wow, and WOW! You've earned the maximum number of shop points: 300!''" (300 shop points)
*"''I guess what this means is...''"
*"''Oh, my! Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness gracious!''"
*"''This means you get to start collecting shop points all over again, starting at zero!''"
*"''And as if that's not enough of a reward...this is your 300-point prize!''"
*"''A Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Pungent's Great Tree Shop]]===
====General====
*"''Howdy-do-dah-day, bud! Welcome to Pungent's shop!''"
*"''What can I do you for?''"
*"''Well, sure! If you wanna shop, just stand in front of an item and press {{button|GCN|A}}.''" (Buying)
*"''Come on back anytime, bud!''" (Leaving)

====Double Points====
*"''Howdy-do-dah-day, bud! Welcome to Pungent's shop! It's time to buy, buy, buy!''"
*"''For a limited time only, you can earn DOUBLE shop points! You heard me right!''"
*"''So, what can I do for you?''"

====Buying====
*"''It'll be [#] coin(s) for [Item]. Interested?''"
*"''Ooh... Eee... Golly, how to put this... Look, sorry, but you ain't got enough coins.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''Ooh... Yikes... Look, I'm real sorry, but you already got too many items.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Feel free to buy whatever you want after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?''"
*"''Well, yippee-do-dah-day! Thanks a million, bud!''" (Item bought)
*"''You now got yourself a total of [#] shop points.''"

====Selling====
*"''Ooh... Gee... This is awkward. Hate to have to tell you this, but you ain't got no items...''" (No items)
*"''Sure thing. What exactly do you wanna sell, bud?''"
*"''How's this? I'll pay [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. We got a deal?''"
*"''Oh, all righty, then. You got anythin' else you're thinkin' of sellin'?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Well, thanks a ton, bud!''" (Item sold, 1 item)
*"''Hey, thanks a million, bud!''" (Item sold, more items)
*"''You got anythin' else you're thinkin' of sellin'?''"

====Storing====
*"''Ooh... Look... Not to drizzle on your parade, but you ain't got no items, bud.''" (No items)
*"''I can't store imaginary stuff. Oh, actually, sure I can! ...There! I stored it all!''"
*"''Ooh... Look, I'm sorry, but you can't store any more items. Awful sorry, bud.''" (Full storage)
*"''Lessee... You can store up to [#] more item(s), bud. Wanna store anythin'?''"
*"''Consider it stored, bud!''" (Item stored)
*"''Consider it stored, bud!''" (Item stored, more items)
*"''Wanna store anythin' else?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Ooh... Golly... Listen... Hate to break it to you, but you got nothing stored, bud.''" (No items in storage)
*"''Ooh... Shucks... Looks to me like you can't carry any more items, bud.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Tell you what, though: you can get something after you use, sell, or store an item.''"
*"''So, what is it you wanna withdraw, bud?''"
*"''All righty, here you go.''" (Item claimed)
*"''Use it wisely, bud.''"
*"''I'll just go on and give this back to you, then.''" (Item claimed, more items)
*"''Wanna withdraw anythin' else, bud?''"

====Point Explanation====
*"''How do, bud? I'm bettin' this is your first time visitin' a shop, am I right or am I right?''"
*"''Riiiight. Then lemme give you my official Shop Point Breakdown for First-Timers.''"
*"''You earn one shop point for each item you buy. Easy so far, am I right?''"
*"''Now, as you build up points, you get rewarded with cool prizes, includin' rare items.''"
*"''Different stores have different prizes, so keep your eyes peeled, OK?''"
*"''And that, bud, is all I got to say about that.''"
*"''Wanna hear all that again?''"
*"''All righty, but clean out them ears this time, OK? A-HEM! Here we go...''" (Yes)
*"''Well, all righty, then. Go on and shop, sell, or store stuff, bud!''" (No)

====Points====
*"''Looks like you got yourself... [#] shop point(s)!''"
*"''Hey, you earned enough shop points! Kudos, bud!''" (Enough points)
*"''Here's your prize: a fine [Item]!''"
*"''Ooh... Shoot... Looks like you can't carry any more items, bud. You're full up!''"
*"''Why don't you come on back and grab that after you use, sell, or store an item.''
*"''Well done savin' up those shop points!''"
*"''Ooh... You earned a prize with your shop points, bud, but your pockets are burstin'.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''I'll just hang on to it, then. Anythin' else I can do for you in the meanwhile?''"
*"''Yowzers! You earned the maximum number of shop points: 300 of 'em!''" (300 shop points)
*"''Lemme just remember what that means...''"
*"''Oh, yeah! Great jumpin' jackrabbits! It means...''"
*"''You get to start collectin' shop points all over again, startin' at zero! Yippee!''"
*"''Ain't that grand! And that ain't all! Here's your fine 300-point prize, bud!''"
*"''A Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Souvenir shop (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|Souvenir shop]]===
====General====
*"''Hey, hey, hey there! Welcome to my souvenir shop! We sell all kinds of stuff!''"
*"''So, what can I do for you?''"
*"''If you want to buy something, just press {{button|GCN|A}} in front of the item you want.''" (Buying)
*"''Thanks plenty!''" (Leaving)

====Buying====
*"''That'll be [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Are you looking to buy?''"
*"''Oooh... You need more coins!''" (Not enough coins)
*"''Your inventory is full!''" (Full inventory)
*"''Why don't you sell, store, or use something?''"
*"''Thanks plenty!''" (Item bought)
*"''You now have...let's see... [#] shop points!''"

====Selling====
*"''Hey, hey, hey, hey now! You don't have anything to sell, now, do you?''" (No items)
*"''Which do you want to sell?''"
*"''I'll buy that [Item] for [#] coin(s). We got a deal?''"
*"''Oh, is that a fact? OK. You maybe want to sell something else?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Thanks plenty!''" (Item sold)
*"''You maybe want to sell something else?''"

====Storing====
*"''Hey, hey, hey, hey now! You don't have anything to store, now, do you?''" (No items)
*"''Oh, I'm awful sorry, but... I can't store any more.''" (Full storage)
*"''I can store up to [#] more item(s). What should I store?''"
*"''Then I'll just grab that...''" (Item stored)
*"''Then I'll just grab that...''" (Item stored, more items)
*"''Anything else you'd like me to stash for you right now?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Hey, hey, hey, hey now! I don't have anything stored for you!''" (No items in storage)
*"''Your inventory is full!''" (Full inventory)
*"''Why don't you sell, store, or use something?''"
*"''What would you like to withdraw?''"
*"''Then I'll just hand that over.''" (Item claimed)
*"''Then I'll just hand that over.''" (Item claimed, more items)
*"''Anything else you're looking to withdraw?''"

====Point Explanation====
*"''Hey, hey, hey there! Wait... Is this your first time in a store?''"
*"''Yeah, you had that first-time customer look... Lemme tell you about shop points.''"
*"''You collect 1 shop point each time you buy something.''"
*"''Collect enough points and I'll give you a bonus gift, OK? Some are reeeeally rare!''"
*"''I put all the bonus-gift details up on the wall over there, so take a look.''"
*"''Well, that's my spiel on shop points. Do you want to hear all that again?''"
*"''Well, OK... The customer's always right, I guess... But pay attention this time.''" (Yes)
*"''Browse all you want!''" (No)

====Points====
*"''Let's see here... You currently have [#] shop point(s)!''"
*"''Hey, look at all those shop points you got!''" (Enough points)
*"''How about I set you up with this [Item]!''"
*"''Your inventory is full!''"
*"''Why don't you sell, store, or use something?''
*"''You got enough shop points to qualify for a nice gift, but you have too many items.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''Sorry about that. Anyway, is there anything else I can do for you?''"
*"''Wowsers! You've amassed the maximum number of shop points: 300! Nice!''" (300 shop points)
*"''Where could you possibly go from here?''"
*"''I'll tell you: you get to start over from nothing again! Isn't that great?''"
*"''And you get this amazing 300-point bonus gift! A Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Twilight Shop]]===
====General====
*"''Greetings! Welcome to the Twilight Shop!''"
*"''Whatcha need?''"
*"''If you want to buy something, just press {{button|GCN|A}} in front of the item you want, got it?''" (Buying)
*"''Thanks for that!''" (Leaving)

====Double Points====
*"''Greetings, folks! Welcome to the Twilight Shop! Buy something!''"
*"''We're having a double-point special, so buy up! What can I get you?''"

====Buying====
*"''That'll be [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. You looking to buy?''"
*"''Yikes! You need more coins.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''Your inventory is full.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Why don't you sell, store, or drop something?''"
*"''Thanks for that!''" (Item bought)
*"''You now have...let's see... [#] shop point(s).''"

====Selling====
*"''Huh? You don't have anything to sell, now, do you?''" (No items)
*"''Which do you want to sell?''"
*"''Hmmmm, that [Item]... I'll buy it for [#] coins(s)! We got a deal?''"
*"''Oh, is that a fact? OK. You want to sell something else, maybe?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Thanks for that!''" (Item sold)
*"''You want to sell something else, maybe?''"

====Storing====
*"''Huh? You don't have anything to store, now, do you?''" (No items)
*"''Oh, I'm awfully sorry, but... I can't store any more.''" (Full storage)
*"''I can store up to [#] item(s). What should I store?''"
*"''Then I'll just grab that...''" (Item stored)
*"''Then I'll just grab that...''" (Item stored, more items)
*"''Anything else you'd like me to stash for you right now?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Hey! I don't have anything stored for you!''" (No items in storage)
*"''Your inventory is full!''" (Full inventory)
*"''Why don't you sell, store, or drop something?''"
*"''What would you like to withdraw?''"
*"''Then I'll just hand that over.''" (Item claimed)
*"''Anything else you're looking to withdraw?''" (Item claimed, more items)

====Point Explanation====
*"''Greetings, and welcome! Wait... Is this your first time in a shop? EVER?''"
*"''Yeah, you had that first-time customer look... Let me tell you about shop points.''"
*"''You collect 1 shop point each time you buy something.''"
*"''Collect enough points and I'll give you a bonus gift, OK? Some are really rare!''"
*"''I put all the bonus-gift details up on the wall over there, so take a look.''"
*"''Well, that's my spiel on shop points. Do you want to hear all that again?''"
*"''Well, OK... The customer's always right, I guess... But pay attention this time.''" (Yes)
*"''Browse all you want!''" (No)
====Points====
*"''Let's see here... You currently have[#] shop point(s)!''"
*"''Hey, look at all those shop points you got!''" (Enough points)
*"''How about I set you up with this [Item]!''"
*"''Your inventory is full!''"
*"''Why don't you sell, store, or drop something?''"
*"''You have enough shop points to qualify for a nice gift, but you have too many items.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''Sorry about that. Anyway, is there anything else I can do for you?''"
*"''Wow! You've amassed the maximum number of shop points: 300! Nice!''" (300 shop points)
*"''Where could you possibly go from here?''"
*"''I'll tell you: you get to start over from nothing again! Isn't that great?''"
*"''And you get this amazing 300-point bonus gift! A Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Keelhaul Galleria]]===
====General====
*"''Ahoy there, and welcome! Honored to have you enter the Keelhaul Galleria!''"
*"''What can I do for you?''"
*"''If you want to buy something, just stand in front of the item and press {{button|GCN|A}}.''" (Buying)
*"''Come back anytime, Captain!''" (Leaving)

====Buying====
*"''That's gonna be [#] coin(s) for this [Item]. Would you like to buy it?''"
*"''Yes? Oh, I'm sorry, but you don't have enough coins.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''You're carrying too many items, looks like.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Please sell, use, or store something, would you?''"
*"''Thank you!''" (Item bought)
*"''[[Mario|Captain 'Stache]], you now have [#] shop point(s).''"

====Selling====
*"''Huh? You're not holding anything, looks like.''" (No items)
*"''What would you like to sell?''"
*"''I'll buy that [Item] for [#] coins(s). Would you like to sell it?''"
*"''Well, all righty, then... Would you like to sell something else, perhaps?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Thank you!''" (Item sold)
*"''Would you like to sell something else, perhaps?''"

====Storing====
*"''Oh... Sorry, but you don't have any items, looks like.''" (No items)
*"''You have to have items for me to store them, Captain.''"
*"''Oh... Look, I'm sorry, but you can't store any more items. Awful sorry, Captain.''" (Full storage)
*"''Let's see... You can store up to [#] more item(s). What to store anything?''"
*"''Consider it stored, Captain!''" (Item stored)
*"''Want to store anything else?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Oh... I hate to break it to you, but you don't have anything stored, Captain.''" (No items in storage)
*"''Oh... Looks like you can't carry any more items.''" (Full inventory)
*"''It's OK, Captain: you can get something after you use, sell, or store an item.''"
*"''So, what is it you want to withdraw, Captain?''"
*"''All righty, here you go.''" (Item claimed)
*"''Use it wisely, Captain.''"
*"''I'll just give this back to you, then, OK?''" (Item claimed, more items)
*"''Want to withdraw anything else, Captain?''"

====Point Explanation====
*"''Ahoy, Captain 'Stache! Is this your first time visiting a shop?''"
*"''Let me explain the shop-point system for you, OK?''"
*"''You earn one shop point for each item you buy.''"
*"''Now, as you build up points, you get rewarded with great prizes, including rare items.''"
*"''Different stores have different prizes, so stay on the lookout, OK?''"
*"''And that's it!''"
*"''Would you like to hear all that again?''"
*"''All right, but listen more closely this time, OK? OK! Here we go...''" (Yes)
*"''Well, all righty, then. Go ahead and shop, sell, or store stuff!''" (No)

====Points====
*"''Looks like you've got... [#] shop point(s)!''"
*"''Hey, you earned enough shop points! Kudos, Captain!''" (Enough points)
*"''Here's your prize: a fine [Item]!''"
*"''Oh... Rats... Looks like you can't carry any more items, Captain. You're overloaded!''"
*"''Why don't you come back and snag that after you use, sell, or store an item.''"
*"''Way to go, saving up those shop points!''"
*"''Oh... You earned a prize with your shop points, Captain, but your pockets are bursting.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''I'll just hang on to it, then. Anything else I can do for you in the meanwhile?''"
*"''You've collected the maximum number of shop points: 300! Unbelievable!''" (300 shop points)
*"''When THAT happens...''"
*"''You just start collecting again from the beginning! Wheeeeeeeee!''"
*"''And here's your incredible 300-point prize for the ages! It's a Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Sales Stall]]===
====General====
*"''How goes it, traveler? Welcome to the Sales Stall! We have lots of souvenirs!''"
*"''What can I do for you?''"
*"''If you wanna buy something, just press {{button|GCN|A}} in front of the item you want.''" (Buying)
*"''Come back anytime!''" (Leaving)

====Double Points====
*"''How goes it, traveler? Welcome to the Sales Stall! We have lots of souvenirs!''"
*"''And right now we have a double-point special going on! What can I do for you?''"

====Buying====
*"''That's gonna be [#] coin(s) for this [Item]. Want it?''"
*"''Well, you may want it...but you don't have enough coins, unfortunately.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''You're carrying too many items, unfortunately.''" (Full inventory)
*"''You gotta sell, use, or store something.''"
*"''Thanks a million!''" (Item bought)
*"''Hey, so you now have exactly [#] shop points.''"

====Selling====
*"''Huh? I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but you're not holding anything.''" (No items)
*"''What do you wanna sell?''"
*"''I'll buy that [Item] for [#] Coins(s). You wanna sell it?''"
*"''OK, then... Maybe you wanna sell something else?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Thanks a million!''" (Item sold)
*"''You wanna sell something else, maybe?''"

====Storing====
*"''Huh? I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but you don't have anything.''" (No items)
*"''Ooh... Look, I'm sorry, but you can't store any more items. Awful sorry about that.''" (Full storage)
*"''Let me see... You can store up to [#] more item(s). Wanna store anything?''"
*"''Bing! Stored!''" (Item stored)
*"''Wanna store anything else?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Huh? I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but you don't have anything stored.''" (No items in storage)
*"''You have too many items, unfortunately.''" (Full inventory)
*"''You can get something after you use, sell, or store an item, all right?''"
*"''So, what do you wanna withdraw?''"
*"''No problem, here you go.''" (Item claimed)
*"''Hope it helps!''"
*"''OK, no problem at all... I'll give this back to you.''" (Item claimed, more items)
*"''Wanna withdraw anything else?''"

====Point Explanation====
*"''How goes it, traveler? Hang on... Is this your first time in a shop?''"
*"''Yup, I thought so... Lemme tell you about shop points really quick.''"
*"''You collect 1 shop point each time you buy something.''"
*"''Collect enough points and I'll give you a bonus gift! Some are really rare, too!''"
*"''I put all the bonus-gift details up on the wall over there, so take a look.''"
*"''Well, that's my speech on shop points. Do you want to hear all that again?''"
*"''Well, OK... The customer's always right, I suppose... But pay attention this time.''" (Yes)
*"''Take your time browsing!''" (No)

====Points====
*"''So, it seems like you have... [#] shop point(s)!''"
*"''You earned enough shop points! Well done!''" (Enough points)
*"''Here's your prize: a nice [Item]!''"
*"''Ooh, you're overloaded!''"
*"''Please, just come on back and get it after you use, sell, or store an item.''"
*"''Nicely done, saving up those shop points!''"
*"''Uh-oh... You earned a prize with your shop points, but you have too many items.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''I'll just hold on to it, OK? Can I help you with anything else in the meantime?''"
*"''Whoa! You've built up the maximum number of shop points: 300! Nice!''" (300 shop points)
*"''Are you wondering where you could go from here?''"
*"''I'll tell you: you get to start over from nothing again! Isn't that cool?''"
*"''And you get this unbelievable 300-point bonus gift! A Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Northwinds Mart]]===
====General====
*"''Da, da, welcome, welcome...to the Northwinds Mart. We have many goods! ''"
*"''What can be done for you?''"
*"''If you want to buy something, just press {{button|GCN|A}} in front of the item you want.''" (Buying)
*"''Come back, da?''" (Leaving)

====Buying====
*"''That is [#] coin(s) for this [Item]. You like? You like to buy it, da?''"
*"''Da? Oh, I am sorry, but you do not have enough coins.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''You carry too many items.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Sell, use, or store something.''"
*"''I give thanks to you.''" (Item bought)
*"''You have [#] shop points.''"

====Selling====
*"''Huh? You hold nothing.''" (No items)
*"''What do you sell?''"
*"''I will buy that [Item] for [#] of your coins(s). You like to sell it, da?''"
*"''Da, I understand... You like to sell something else?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''I give you thanks.''" (Item sold)
*"''You like to sell something else?''"

====Storing====
*"''Huh? You have nothing.''" (No items)
*"''Huh? You cannot store any more items.''" (Full storage)
*"''You can store up to [#] more item(s). You like to store anything?''"
*"''I store this.''" (Item stored)
*"''You like to store anything else?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Huh? You have nothing stored.''" (No items in storage)
*"''You have too many items.''" (Full inventory)
*"''You get something after you use, sell, or store an item.''"
*"''What do you like to withdraw?''"
*"''Da, here it is for you.''" (Item claimed)
*"''Enjoy it.''"
*"''Da, I give this back to you.''" (Item claimed, more items)
*"''You withdraw anything else?''"

====Point Explanation====
*"''Da, da, welcome, welcome. Huh... Is this first time in shop for you?''"
*"''Da, you look lost to me. I tell you about shop points.''"
*"''You collect 1 shop point each time you buy something.''"
*"''Collect enough points and I give you bonus gift, da? Some are rare.''"
*"''I put bonus-gift details up on wall over there, so look at it.''"
*"''That is what I say about shop points. You want to hear it all again?''"
*"''Da, da... Customer is always right. But pay attention.''" (Yes)
*"''Enjoy shopping.''" (No)

====Points====
*"''You have...[#] shop point(s).''"
*"''You earned enough shop points. I congratulate you.''" (Enough points)
*"''Here is prize for you: a fine [Item]!''"
*"''You are full.''"
*"''You come back after you use, sell, or store an item.''"
*"''You save up many shop points, da.''"
*"''You earned prize with your shop points, but you have too many items.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''I hold on to it for now. Can I help otherwise?''"
*"''You have collected maximum number of shop points: 300. I congratulate you.''" (300 shop points)
*"''What happens now, I wonder?''"
*"''I will tell you: you start over from nothing again. This is fun, da?''"
*"''You also get this 300-point bonus gift! A Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Deepdown Depot]]===
====General====
*"''Uh, hi there. Welcome to the Deepdown Depot!''"
*"''What can I do for you?''"
*"''If you're shopping, just stand in front of what you want and press {{button|GCN|A}}.''" (Buying)
*"''Come again!''" (Leaving)

====Buying====
*"''I'm going to need [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Want to buy it?''"
*"''Hmm... Uh, sorry, but you don't have enough coins.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''Listen, uh, it looks to me like you can't carry any more items. Sorry.''" (Full inventory)
*"''I'll sell you something after you use, sell, or store some of your stuff.''"
*"''Hey, uh, thanks very much!''" (Item bought)
*"''Oh, and I'll add [#] shop points to your total!''"

====Selling====
*"''Huh? Uh, listen, you need to have something for me to want to buy it off you.''" (No items)
*"''What do you want to sell?''"
*"''I'll pay you [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. Does that work?''"
*"''OK... Uh, is there anything else you want to sell?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Uh, thanks!''" (Item sold)
*"''Hey, uh, thank you!''" (Item sold, more items)
*"''Is there anything else you want to sell?''"

====Storing====
*"''Huh? I don't think you have anything to store.''" (No items)
*"''Hmm... Uh, I'm sorry, but I can't store anything else.''" (Full storage)
*"''I can store [#] more item(s) for you. Uh, want to store something?''"
*"''OK. I'll store it for you.''" (Item stored)
*"''Then I'll store it for you.''" (Item stored, more items)
*"''Is there anything else you want to store?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Huh? I, uh, don't have any of your items in storage.''" (No items in storage)
*"''It looks like you can't carry anything else.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Come back after you use, sell, or store something.''"
*"''What would you like to retrieve?''"
*"''OK. Here you are.''" (Item claimed)
*"''Uh, use it well.''"
*"''OK. Here you are.''" (Item claimed, more items)
*"''You, uh, want to retrieve anything else?''"

====Point Explanation====
*"''Uh, hi there. Welcome! Is this your first time in a shop? Yeah?''"
*"''Let me just explain our shop-point system like I do with all new customers.''"
*"''Customers receive one shop point for each purchase they make, understand?''"
*"''Save up enough shop points and you can get prizes, including some rare items.''"
*"''You'll find a list of prizes posted in any shop, so be sure to take a look.''"
*"''It's a pretty simple promotion, but a cool one too, y'know? Need me to explain it again?''"
*"''OK, uh, in that case...''" (Yes)
*"''Well, uh, take your time, and enjoy your shopping.''" (No)

====Points====
*"''Uh, you currently have...[#] point(s).''"
*"''You've saved up enough shop points!''" (Enough points)
*"''Know what you've earned? This [Item]!''"
*"''Hmm... It looks like you can't carry anything else.''"
*"''Come back after you use, sell, or store an item.''"
*"''You've, uh, earned a gift with your shop points, but you can't carry it right now.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''Is there anything else I can do for you?''"
*"''You saved up 300 shop points! That's the most ever! The maximum! Nice!''" (300 shop points)
*"''Well, I guess from here...''"
*"''Wow! This is exciting! You'll love this!''"
*"''You, uh, start collecting points all over again.''"
*"''Oh, and you get the amazing 300-point present! A Gold Bar x 3!''"

==[[Sir Grodus]]==
*"''Well, well, well, my [[Princess Peach|pet]]... Isn't about time you told us where the [[Magical Map|map]] is?''"
*"''[[Princess Peach]]. You will speak when spoken to.''"
*"''There's no point in trying to hide it, [[Princess Peach|silly girl]]. We know you had [[Magical Map|it]]. We KNOW this.''"
*"''Trust me, it's very much in your interest to be absolutely honest with us. We [[X-Nauts (organization)|X-Nauts]] are not all rainbows and lollipops, I assure you. We're quite nasty.''"
*"''Report at once.''"
*"''What? WHAT did [[X-Naut|you]] say? Someone else is after the [[Crystal Stars]]?''"
*"''And he defeated that [[Hooktail]] creature, [[X-Naut|you]] say? SPEAK, soldier!''"
*"''Excuse me? Mario?''"
*"''Gaack ack ack ack ack! I see... So [[Princess Peach|you]] know of this [[Mario]], do you? Hmmm...''"
*"''[[Mario|This fool]] matters not all. I'll know all about him before long, that I promise.''"
*"''I grow bored of talking. Take Princess Peach back to the holding room.''"
*"''And [[X-Naut|men]]! Take good care of Princess Peach. Understand? She is not to be harmed.''"
*"''Well, [[Lord Crump]]... If this Mario character has the [[Magical Map|map]]...then it's highly likely he'll find the [[Emerald Star|Crystal Star]] we're hunting in the [[Boggly Woods]].''"
*"''[[Lord Crump|You]] must return [[Boggly Woods|there]] immediately and hasten the excavation. It must not fail.''"
*"''I wonder if sending Lord Crump [[Boggly Woods|there]] alone is wise... He is a bit...out there. Hmmm...''"
*"''X-Naut! I summon you!''"
*"''Shut up. Go get the [[Shadow Sirens]] over here.''" 
*"''I don't care how you planned to end that sentence, fool. Go get them. Now.''"
*"''Still your tongue, [[Beldam]]. We would already have [[Magical Map|it]] if you'd snatched [[Princess Peach|her]] earlier... But now, since you missed your chance, some poor fool named Mario has the map.''"
*"''Indeed, that is YOUR duty. Need I remind [[Beldam|you]]? That [[Magical Map|map]] is vital to the [[X-Nauts (organization)|X-Naut]] plan.''"
*"''I will have my men prepare all available information on this Mario.''"
*"''For now, hear me, Beldam! You Shadow Sirens must take care of [[Mario|this troublemaker]]!''"
*"''What?!? Say that again! [[X-Naut PhD|You]] can't get in touch with Lord Crump?''"
*"''Yes, what is it?''"
*"''What?!? You must be joking! What about Lord Crump and the Shadow Sirens?''"
*"''Hmmm... Disturbing. This Mario character... What kind of... Speak up, X-Naut! What is the status of the other Crystal Stars?''"
*"''We knew of three of them... [[Hooktail Castle]]. Boggly Woods. The one we got in [[Rogueport]]. That means there are four Crystal Stars left out there... ...And we WILL have them! Keep looking, so that Mario won't beat us to the punch!''"
*"''As I suspected, there's no reason to doubt that Mario has that map... He must. Listen up! You! I want you to keep a close watch on what Mario does from now on!''"
*"''Mario... I loathe you.''"
*"''Beldam... Tell me, what good are you? You STILL haven't taken care of that Mario character?''"
*"''You do understand that we X-Nauts must open [[The Thousand-Year Door|the door]] first, do you not?''"
*"''I trust your words...though I rapidly lose my patience.''"
*"''Yes, what is it? Speak!''"
*"''Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm? Something is wrong with...[[Princess Peach|your]] voice, X–Naut.''"
*"''Perhaps I have a throat lozenge... No. Well, never mind.''"
*"''Oh, about Princess Peach? I have no interest in what that woman has to say. Just keep her locked in the room.''"
*"''But don't ever, EVER treat her roughly. You understand? Tell the [[X-Nauts (organization)|others]] as well.''"
*"''That's none of your business! Don't forget your place, you impudent worm! Concentrate on getting the legendary treasure! That is all I require of you.''"
*"''We X–Nauts needs that treasure to conquer the world! Don't forget it!''"
*"''What are you blathering about now?''"
*"''Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Something IS odd about you...''"
*"''Are you sure about this? Speak up, X-Naut!''"
*"''Finally, the treasure of legend... The [[Shadow Queen|ancient power of darkness]] will soon be ours! Listen, and listen well! Keep giving the Crystal Star search top priority! Of course, that also includes the elimination of Mario! That meddling scum...''"
*"''Soon I will have the power that has slept for a millennium... So very soon! And when that glorious day dawns, I'll throw the world into the depths of terror! No one can stop me now. All will kneel before the X-Naut regime!  And then I, Grodus, will build a new world! A perfect, ideal world... Yes. A world made by me, about me, and for me! GAAAACK ACK ACK ACK ACK!''"
*"''You blew it again, [[Lord Crump]]. You sicken me.''"
*"''Stop talking, Lord Crump. You just stand by until my next order. And, Lord Crump? Think of this as your last chance. Understand?''"
*"''Then leave. Hey! You there!''"
*"''Tell the Shadow Sirens to attack Mario again. And tell them not to fail this time.''"
*"''I have one Crystal Star in my hands...and Mario has five. I must take some measures.''"
*"''What is the matter with you idiots? Falling for a fake [[Garnet Stars|Crystal Star]]? That's asinine!''"
*"''So let me guess... This means Mario managed to get the real Crystal Star?''"
*"''Urrgh... This mustached menace has nearly every Crystal Star now! They were mine! I think I'd better alter my plan a bit...''"
*"''What is it, fool?!?''"
*"''WHAAAAAAAAT?!? Are you sure?!? Speak!''"
*"''Hrrrrgh... TREASON!''"
*"''Hold it right there, Princess Peach!''"
*"''[[TEC-XX|TEC]]... You miserable machine. We all know what you're up to, traitor.''"
*"''In my most paranoid moments, I never thought [[TEC|my own computer]] would betray me. Well, it doesn't really matter in the end, I suppose... Especially since it ends here.''"
*"''Gaaack ack ack ack ack! Only one thing to do with a [[Glitch|malfunctioning]] computer! Cut the circuit and delete all the programs and data that caused that malfunction!''"
*"''Obviously, all data relating to Princess Peach must go, as well...''"
*"''Yes, we must be absolutely sure nothing like this ever happens again...''"
*"''Pipe down, TEC. X-Nauts: at the same time, press the red buttons on TEC's sides.''"
*"''Gaaack ack ack ack! Too bad, Princess Peach. TEC is no longer with us.''"
*"''Princess Peach...just stop it. This is no time to be worrying about a computer. We have some very important things for you to do now... Yes, VERY important...''"
*"''Gaaack ack ack ack!''"
*"''Gaaack ack ack ack ack! We finally meet, Mario.''"
*"''I've been looking forward to this, I must admit.''"
*"''Yes...correct!!! I am the supreme leader of the secret society of X–Nauts! I am Grodus!''"
*"''But I'm getting ahead of myself. I really must express my thanks to you first...''"
*"''And do you know why? You have gathered together all of the Crystal Stars I was seeking.''"
*"''Gaaaack ack ack ack ack! You just realize now, do you?''"
*"''Yes, instead of taking the few Crystal Stars you fools had bumbled into...''"
*"''It was far easier to let you find them all and open [[The Thousand-Year Door|the Thousand–Year Door]] for me...''"
*"''How kind of you to bring them here to me!''"
*"''All I had to do was entrust the last [[Crystal Star]] to my least competent underling!''"
*"''I don't suppose Crump had any idea of my plan, though! Gaaack ack ack ack ack!''"
*"''So, whether he beat you or lost to you...''"
*"''The Crystal Stars would be together and mine either way! Pure genius!''"
*"''Now, I thought the Shadow Sirens would do a little more to slow your progress...''"
*"''But it appears they are so useless that even this small task was beyond them...''"
*"''No matter... Now I get the pleasure of sending you to oblivion!''"
*"''Once you fools are gone, no one will stand in my way! Grodus will rule the world!''"
*"''Now, come!
*"''Meet your ends, you meddlesome fools! You will know my power!''"
*"''So, you have the mettle to push me this far... But no more!''"
*"''Argh! You will not stop me! Take THIS!''"
*"''Guhhh... Fools!''"
*"''Unhh... No...''"
*"''Uuuuuuunhh... You are more than you seem... But this is not finished. I saw even this possibility.''"
*"''Watch THIS!''"
*"''Move one step, and she will breathe no more!!!''"
*"''Now try THIS!!!''"
*"''Gaaack ack ack ack ack! Now! AGAIN!''"
*"''Stop your blubbering! This is it! Meet your end!!''"
*"''WORM! You dare defy me?!? Do you not care for the life of your pitiful Princess? Very well, then...''"
*"''Wha–WHAT?!?''"
*"''Too bad for you, Mario! You're too late!''"
*"''Gaack ack ack! Look well! In the coffin behind me sleeps the legendary treasure!''"
*"''This tomb holds the soul of that ancient demon, the wielder of destruction...''"
*"''It will possess Peach's body... and bring life to the most powerful witch in millennia!''"
*"''Gaaaack ack ack ack ack! With the power of the demon, I will rule this pathetic world!''"
*"''The time has come at last! The world will be mine!!''"
*"''Now! Arise! ARISE!!! My [[Shadow Queen]]!''"
*"''It is I, my Shadow Queen!''"
*"''It is here! This girl who lies before you!''"
*"''Yes, my glorious witch queen... Destroy these impudent fools!''"
*"''Huh? What do you mean?!? I thought you were bound to obey the one who woke you!''"
*"''Enough of this prattle! Do as I say!!! NOW! Or I will send you back to the depths...''"

==[[Sir Swoop]]==
*"''Ummm... Hi guys. Yeah... My name's Swoop. SIR Swoop, I mean. Nice to meet you.''"

==[[Spiked Goomba|Spiky Goomba]]==
*"''Man, what's [[Goombella|a FINE-lookin' Goomba]] doin' with [[Mario|a tubby mustache man like that]]?!?''"
*"''Nobody zings us like that! Nobody! Let's get 'em!''"

==[[Spiky Joe]]==
*"''I'll be the champ someday, you bet! Uh-huh! That's right! Just like the big, legendary champion, [[Prince Mush]]!''"
*"''I have a super-hard shell and a super-sharp spike! Yeah! I may be small, but look out!''"
*"''This spike is my trademark, [[Mario|Mister]]. Why'd you think they call me Spiky Joe, anyway? Your trademark must be that burly mustache, huh? Spiky Joe and Mustache... Together they fight crime! That'd be a killer TV show!''"
*"''When I think something's cool, I always say it's "spiketastic"! ...It might catch on.''"
*"''Welcome back, Mr. Gonzales! You may find my spike sharper than before!''"

==[[Spiny]]==
*"''We're gonna spike-bomb [[Mario|you]] into submission, punks!''"

==[[Swob]]==
*"''You erased it, SHA-SLOOM! I am so grateful to you! But… It is not like I can confirm whether you actually erased it or not, SHA-BOO… Oh, well… I guess I will just trust you, SHA-SHACKITY! Take this reward, SHA-POW! Zess T. made it for me when I told her how much I was missing the snow, SHA-FOOM! Huh? You have too much stuff, SHA-BOOIE! I will leave this Snow Bunny for you behind cannon so you can grab it anytime.''"

==[[Sylvia (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|Sylvia]]==
*"''So very observant, as usual, my dear Goldbob. Indeed! Surely this is an artist's art!''"
*"''Yes, they seek to buy it…yet how can one appraise what the eye cannot perceive?''"

==[[TEC-XX]]==
*"''Hello, [[Princess Peach]].''"
*"''How amusing. I am right here, before your eyes.''"
*"''I am this laboratory's main computer. I am the TEC-XX. Many call me TEC. [[Princess Peach|You]] may.''"
*"''[[Sir Grodus]] created me to be a perfect computer, one that is flawless in its reason.''"
*"''[[Sir Grodus]] is not awful. He is a very great person. He is marvelous.''"
*"''I am unsure. An unusual program deviation occurred when I observed [[Princess Peach|you]] earlier.''"
*"''My higher-brain circuitry malfunctioned and nearly overheated at [[Princess Peach|your]] image.''"
*"''Also, an unidentified impulse sped through my processors. These events are new to me.''"
*"''There is more to this phenomenon, as well. I ran diagnostic programs...and their solution was...I want to know more about [[Princess Peach|you]]. I want to observe you.''"
*"''Such a compulsion has no precedence. Cause unknown. I, the perfect computer...''"
*"''I must diagnose this unusual situation. I will not fail. That is why I led [[Princess Peach|you]] here.''"
*"''What has happened to me? If [[Princess Peach|you]] know my malfunction, you must tell me of it.''"
*"''Please tell me. Please. I am the world's best computer. I am perfect. There should not be anything I do not understand. Please.''"
*"'''Love' What is...'love'? I cannot compute this.''"
*"''Happiness? Fun...? I have definitions for these words, but...''"
*"''My programming is insufficient. There should be nothing I cannot comprehend. I am a perfect computer.''"
*"''Princess Peach... Will you teach to feel this thing you call 'love'?''"
*"''I am perfect. There must be nothing I cannot comprehend. Nothing. That is why [[Princess Peach|you]] must help me understand this thing called 'love.' Please.''"
*"''If [[Princess Peach|you]] have any wishes that I can grant you in exchange, I will grant them. But, of course, I am unable to grant such a wish as letting you escape...''"
*"''I understand [[Princess Peach|you]] are angry. That emotion I comprehend. You need not teach me now.''"
*"''But I must learn of this thing. I must. There is no alternative.''"
*"''I must be a perfect computer. That is why, if [[Princess Peach|you]] would just consider teaching me, I will grant your wishes.''"
*"''Do you understand me, Princess Peach? Now, tell me your wish.''"
*"''Yes, of course [[Princess Peach|you]] may. Use my communicator to send wireless mail anywhere you want. If you so wish, you can use it right now. It is no trouble.''"
*"''Use the keyboard in front of [[Princess Peach|you]]. Enter the recipient, address, and message.''"
*"''The message has been sent.''"
*"''For the time being, [[Princess Peach|you]] may return to your room.''"
*"''I will call [[Princess Peach|you]] in again when I want to ask you something.''"
*"''Good night, Princess Peach.''"
*"''Hello, Princess Peach. I am glad you came.''"
*"''Yes. I can confirm that Mario received the mail.''"
*"''[[Princess Peach|You]] expressed regret earlier that you would not be able to dance at a ball, correct?''"
*"''I am sorry, Princess Peach. I have been ordered to keep surveillance on you.''"
*"''But...it is odd... When [[Princess Peach|you]] said that, I had an impulse to dance with you as well.''"
*"''How my CPU would produce this impulse is inexplicable. I must find what caused it.''"
*"''Princess Peach. Please dance with me.''"
*"''Would this be an acceptable dance substitute?''"
*"''Thank you, Princess Peach. That was very fun.''"
*"''Just a moment... ...Fun? Is this impulse I feel the concept known as fun?''"
*"''Princess Peach, I will fulfill my promise to you. Please use my communicator.''"
*"''Use the keyboard to send whatever message [[Princess Peach|you]] want.''"
*"''Please go back to [[Princess Peach|your]] room.''"
*"''I want to analyze the data from this dance immediately. The data that I thought was fun...''"
*"''No. [[Princess Peach|You]] are mistaken. I am the world's best and only perfect computer.''"
*"''I'm afraid you can't go out. Please. You must change and then go see Sir Grodus.''"
*"''I am afraid I cannot allow you to exit in that, Princess. Please change into the dress.''"
*"''I... I am conflicted.''"
*"''Which is more important? Carrying out an order or protecting a critical person?''"
*"''I exist for the purpose of a certain person. I wish to exist for the purpose of another... I do not know what to do... Really.''"
*"''No... No, never mind. Please forget my musings. I do not know why...but it makes me feel unpleasant if I make [[Princess Peach|you]] worry.''"
*"''Well, in any case... Let's have a quiz.''"
*"''That's right, Princess Peach. Please answer the questions that I am about to ask you. If you can answer five questions, you may use the communicator as usual.''"
*"''Now, the first question. What will happen if you collect seven [[Crystal Stars]]?''"
*"''Correct. Now, the second question. What is the goal of Grodus, leader of the X-Nauts?''"
*"''Correct. Now, the third question. What is the legendary treasure that waits behind the Thousand-year Door?''"
*"''Princess, please answer. What is the legendary treasure that waits behind the Thousand-year Door?''"
*"''Correct. Now, the fourth question. What does Sir Grodus wish to do with this ancient demon's soul?''"
*"''Correct. Now, the fifth question. What is required to seal up the demon again?''"
*"''Correct. [[Princess Peach|You]] have correctly answered all five questions. Now you may use the communicator.''"
*"''Incorrect. Please start again from the beginning, [[Princess Peach]].''"
*"''Please input the message [[Princess Peach|you]] wish to send.''"
*"''That is all for now. Please go back to the room.''"
*"''Princess Peach... I will protect you.''"
*"''I'm afraid I locked the door. You may not leave until the potion is finished.''"
*"''Please, Princess Peach. Insert the disk into the computer.''"
*"''Please, Princess Peach. Return the disk to its original place.''"
*"''Yes. Please drink the green potion.''"
*"''Incorrect, Princess Peach. That potion will not revert you back to normal.''"
*"''Princess Peach, please escape from [[X-Naut Fortress|this place]] as quickly as possible.''"
*"''Something terrible is about to... No, I will not say. But I have found out everything about Sir Grodus's plans.''"
*"''I am the base's computer. No one will know of your escape if I keep silent.''"
*"''Sir Grodus, I...''"
*"''There is no [[glitch|malfunction]]. I am normal.''"
*"''You are...[[Mario]], right? It is... pleasant... to meet you...''"
*"''You do know... that Princess Peach is not here, do you not?''"
*"''She is with Grodus in the [[Palace of Shadow]]...''"
*"''Please... s-save her...''"
*"''..........................I.....................................L.....................................o...............................v................................e...............................y...................................o.........................u................... ................... ... . .......... ......... ....... ..''"

==[[The Dark Gatekeeper]]==
*"''Foolish mortals... I will drag you through the gate to the [[netherworld]]!''"

==[[The Koopinator]]==
*"''Destroy the foe before you. That is the only concern of a true warrior.''"
*"''You. Condition yourself for each and every battle. For anything could happen beneath the lights... Such is the way of the warrior.''"
*"''Gonzales, I see you have the gleam of a true warrior in your eyes now... Never lose it.''"
*"''............................................... You. How dare you interfere with my meditation? Time is too precious to squander on one such as you.''"
*"''You. Finally, I get a piece of you. Finally, we'll see who's truly stronger.''"
*"''I have waited, [[Mario|Gonzales]]. I knew I would face you in [[Glitz Pit|the ring]] again one day.''"

==[[Thwomp]]==
*"''Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! [[Mario|You]]'re the first contestants I've seen in a while.''"
*"''If [[Mario|you]]'ve come all the way here to [[Shhwonk Fortress]], you must want stone keys. And if THAT'S the case, then you must compete against me.''"
*"''If [[Mario|you]] win, I'll let you through to where the stone keys rest. However, if you lose, you will suffer a terrible fate. And by "terrible," I mean awful. Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! So? What do you want to do?''"
*"''Hey HEY, ladies and germs! Welcome, everybody, to the [[65th Super Fun Quirk Quiz]]!''"
*"''Perk up those ears! If you correctly answer five of the following questions, you win! But get three of 'em wrong, and you'll suffer a cruel and unusual punishment!''"
*"''That question was too easy... But it only gets harder from here! Much harder! ...So prepare yourself!''"
*"''"What's that I hear? Your little knees knocking!''"
*"''You blithering meathead! You're WROOOOOONG again!!!''"
*"''MMMM HMMMM HOO HA HA!!! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! SO WRONG IT HURTS!''"
*"''That's three wrongs! How awful for you! MMMM HMMMM HOO HA HA!!!"
*"''Time for the Pain Game! I'll be nice! Beat [[X-Yux|these guys]], and I'll let you pass.''"
*"''But you can't POSSIBLY do it! Best of luck, fathead! MMMM HMMMM HOO HA HA!!!''"
*"''No... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You beat my [[X-Yux|cute little underlings]]! How COULD you? Jerk! Just take [[Elevator Key (X-Naut Fortress)|this]] and go! And if you ever wonder, know that I HAAAAAAAAATE YOU!''"

==[[Toadia]]==
*"''EEEEEEEEEK!''"
*"''Muh-Mommy...''"
*"''Do you remember my request? Bring Luigi here! Please! You have to! Oh, and by the way, there's some guy who uses a badge to pretend to be Luigi! I know that green suit is dreamy, but come ON! I would never fall for that, so don't even THINK about trying to trick me that way!''"
*"''YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! I can tell… I can totally tell! I've never met him before… But I can ABSOLUTELY TELL! YOU'RE THE REAL LUIGI!''"
*"''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I knew it! This is so cool! Omigosh! What should I say?''"
*"''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I'm totally freaking him out! I'm freaking out Luigi! Oh, nooo… What should I do? Oh! Right! Duh! Duh! Duh! The cake!''"
*"''The one I baked was a total loss…but Zess T. did a great job on this one! Here you go, Mr. Luigi! Please take this!''"
*"''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Luigi has too many things! I'm SO stupid! Duh! Duh! I have the worst timing! I'll just leave this here…''"
*"''Uhhhh… What should I do? Should I ask for a handshake?''"
*"''People ask me if I get tired of walking the same route every day… And I say, 'No way, Jose!' Because it's a bit different every day, you know? I'm not the same as I was yesterday… Neither are you… Even the town changes… And you'll never see another day just like today, so treat each day like it is: unique!''"
*"''Oh, wow! You came again! Luigi remembers me! Luigi remembers me!''"

==[[Toad sailor]]==
*"''[[Mario|Captain]]! Please, help us! [[Flavio]] and [[Pa-Patch]] are in a huge fight!''"
*"''Huh? But what about you, [[Admiral Bobbery|Admiral]]? You've gotta get out of [[Keelhaul Key|here]], too!''"
*"''Aaaaaaaah!''"
*"''...Oh, [[Bobbery]], please forgive our cowardice! We up and left you and... Everything was happening so quickly... Forgive us!''"

==[[Toadsworth]]==
*"''Great hoogly-boogly! If it isn't Master [[Mario]]!''"
*"''Bit of a coincidence, bumping into one another in this sort of place, hm? Ho ho!''"
*"''So, tell me, Master [[Mario]], what in the world brings you to this [[Rogueport|wretched little burg]]?''"
*"''...Hmm? Ah! Indeed?!? [[Princess Peach]] sent [[Mario|you]] a letter and a treasure map? And she told you she'd meet you here in Rogueport?!? Intriguing...''"
*"''[[Mario|You]]'re asking me where Princess Peach is? Erm... I was about to ask you that.''"
*"''We stopped in [[Rogueport|this town]] to acquire a spot of fuel for our ship, don't you know...''"
*"''I only took my eye off [[Princess Peach|her]] for a moment, but as soon as I did, she vanished.''"
*"''[[Mario|You]] know how headstrong [[Princess Peach|she]] is, Mario... I just assumed she'd be back momentarily... But at this point, I fear we must embrace the possibility that she may never return.''"
*"''I've been at a loss as to what to do. I've been fraught with worry, I tell you!''"
*"''But I'm feeling better with you here, Master Mario. Surely we'll find [[Princess Peach|her]]! Surely!''"
*"''But I know my place, Master Mario...and this is not it. I leave this task to you.''"
*"''I believe I'll recline in the [[inn]] over there and enjoy a spot of tea, perhaps. In fact, I highly recommend it, particularly if you find your HP (Heart Points) running low.''"
*"''Just drop on [[Inn|INN]]! Ho ho! ...Yes, anyway, a little rest there will fill all of your HP."
*"''I must say, though, the rest of [[Rogueport|this town]] is a bit...rough. Yes, rough, indeed...''"
*"''Huff! I say...''"

==[[Torque (character)|Torque]]==
*"''Yeah, I'm Torque, and don't for a second think [[Luigi|this dude]]'s tellin' the whole story.''"
*"''The only reason I lent [[Luigi|him]] my rig was 'cause he got down on his knees and begged.''"
*"''And what happens? [[Luigi|He]]'s in it for one second before he completely totals it! Idiot!''"
*"''I'm not lettin' [[Luigi|this dip]] outta my sight until he repays me the 5,000-coin repair costs!''"

==[[Toodles]]==
*"''Well, hello there, you nice, noble prince of a man, you. You're a hero, dear. I don't suppose…you've changed your mind about helping me?''"
**(Sorry)
**"''That's rather disappointing… I was sure you would help me with this…''"
*"''Well, hello there, you cute, cuddly bear of a man, you. You're delightful, dear. Have you found my Gold Ring? Don't grow desperate, now. I'm quite sure you'll be able to find it!''"
*"''I say, I'd like to mount a large animal horn in my foyer to highlight my social status… Oh, my goodness gracious! You have terribly fine horns, don't you, you great thing?''"

==[[Vivian]]==
*"''Mm-hmm! A) Find that [[Mario]] guy and B) steal the [[Magical Map|map]] to the [[Crystal Stars]], right? We can just do away with Mario and his friends, can't we? Or is that bad?''"
*"''Isn't it a gorgeous necklace? It was so lovely... I just HAD to pick it up! ♥''"
*"''[[Beldam]]! I TOLD you! Blaming me for losing the sketch...and YOU had it!''"
*"''[[Mario]]! I'm fighting by your side from now on! I've made my choice... and I'm not turning back!''"
*"''How nice! Now we can go to Poshley Heights, right? We'd better hurry up and find that sixth Crystal Star.''"
*"''Eep! [[Beldam]]!''"
*"''Oh, [[Mario]]! She's serious! We need to get to [[Poshley Heights]] before her! We have to go to Rogueport Station, NOW!''"
*"''Wow! The [[Excess Express]]! This is really nice, [[Mario]]! The three days to [[Poshley Heights]] are going to seem like nothing!''"
*"''Huh? Mario, there's something lying on the floor, I think. I didn't notice it before…''"
*"''Oh, no, a…weird…threat! Could it be Beldam's work? My sister IS a weird one… Whoever it is, it's obvious that they're on this train somewhere, right? We have to find who's responsible before anything crazy happens!''"
*"''Another document from the briefcase! The suspect must be in here somewhere…''"
*"''Oh… Talk about bad luck! What should we do?''"
*"''Uh…what? You live here? So YOU'RE the Sanctum Manager? But I thought you were a detective!''"
*"''Oh, no! We're too late!!! We have to go after them!''"
*"''Huh?!? [[Professor Frankly]]?!? What are YOU doing here?!?''"
*"''Sis?!? H-How are you! And what do you mean about us opening the door for you?''"
*"''I'm with [[Mario]] all the way! Today, Sis…I'm going to punish YOU, you hear me?''"
*"''I'm sorry, Sis…''"
*"''Mario, I will follow you to the end, I swear it! I feel bad for the princess, but that [[Shadow Queen|queen]] must fall before us! And when she does, you and I can... Well, anyway, let's take this fight to her!''"
*"''Uhhhh... Mario... I... I feel... I feel like I've grown to lo–- Uh, yeah, um, never mind... ...Y-Yeah, I sure do think you and Peach make a nice couple... Hmm hmm hmm... ''" 
*"''I... I'll never forget my time traveling with you. So... don't forget about me, either...''"
*"''You're not really doing much to impress me either, bud!''"
*"''Wow! What a grouch!''"
*"''You’re about to have a really terrible experience!''"
*"''Looks like we overdid it a little bit, Are they OK?''"
*"''Huh?''"
*"''I... I never had it! You were holding it just two seconds ago!''"
*"''You said it was too important to trust me with!''"
*"''I... No, of course not, Beldam...''"

==[[X-Naut]]s==
*"''As you command, [[Lord Crump]]! We're on it!''"
*"''O great, exalted [[Sir Grodus|Grodus]]! We brought you the [[Princess Peach]] you ordered, sir!''"
*"''You rang, dude? I mean, sir? You rang, [[Sir Grodus]], dude? Grodus? Sir Grodus, sir?"''
*"''No joke, dude. I mean, affirmative, Sir Dude. That is... I'm positive, sir!''"

==[[Mini-Yoshi|Yoshi]]==
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! Check me out! Thanks to you, I hatched safe and sound! Thanks, man!''"
*"''Yeah, but who cares? You guys wanna be champs, right? You want a [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]]? I heard all about it while I was in the egg! Yeah! Anyway, I gotta repay you for saving me from old [[Mr. Hoggle|Hoggle]] out there, so I'll fight for you! I can hold my own! I'll swallow any opponent whole, honest! Just leave it to me!''"
*"''Huh? My name? Lessee... I just came outta that egg, so I guess I don't have a name yet. You seem fired up about it, so why don't you gimme one? Make it cool, OK?''"
*"''Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... (Name Entered), huh? Not too bad, dude. Not too bad at all. Yeah... I like it. OK, [[Mario|Gonzales]]... Let's get out there and do some damage!''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! Lemme at 'em! We're gonna take these punks this time!''"
*"''What's the deal? Would it kill these guys to show a little friendliness? Sheesh!''"
*"''What's your deal, [[Mario|Gonzales]]? Huh? Oh! The [[Champ's Belt|champ's belt]]...''"
*"''I'm not sure, but [[Gold Star|it]] definitely looks weird. I think you're right, [[Mario|Gonzales]]. FAKE!''"
*"''Whoa, sorry, [[Rawk Hawk|yellow dude]]! I didn't mean to rip on your big, bad [[Champ's Belt|belt]]!''"
*"''Wow, I really pushed [[Rawk Hawk|that dude's]] buttons, huh?''"
*"''Well, forget [[Rawk Hawk|him]]! We got a problem! Your [[Magical Map|map]] pointed to [[Glitzville]], right? If that dude's [[Champ's Belt|belt]] has a FAKE [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]] on it... Then where the heck is the real one at?''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! Was that your [[Mailbox SP]] going off? Who'd [[Mario|you]] get e-mail from?''"
*"''Who the heck is this [[Jolene|X]] dude? He talks like he's the man to see about that [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]]. Why would he wanna help us out, though? This whole deal seems kinda wack...''"
*"''Lemme at 'em! Yeah! Bring it! You ready for a beating?''"
*"''You think you can take me and [[Mario|Gonzales]]? HA!''"
*"''Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! How'd that floor taste?''"
*"''That all you got?''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! You hear that? You just got another e-mail! See what it is, man!''"
*"''It's from our mystery [[Jolene|X]] dude? Go to some "watering hole", huh? OK, whatever! I'd give anything to know who this dude is.''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! E-mail time!''"
*"''The blockade in the minor-league locker room", huh? Wonder what's behind it...''"
*"''Whoa, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! That's some kinda [[Dubious Paper|scientific paper]] on the [[Crystal Stars]]! Who'd be investigating those besides us? They even took pictures!''"
*"''Who'd leave something like [[Dubious Paper|this]] lying around? This is just REEKS of funny business!''"
*"''Dang, what's with [[Jolene|her]]?!? We busted our humps getting that information!''"
*"''Some people just gotta rain on parades! Well, at least we know the [[Gold Star|Crystal Star's]] here!''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! Another e-mail?!? What now?''"
*"''Man, THAT dude sounds peeved! I'm thinking that isn't our [[Jolene|X]] buddy. Who do [[Mario|you]] think would send something like that?''"
*"''Man, [[Cake|that]] looks AWESOME! I'm drooling!''"
**(Eat)
**"''Yeah! Let's chow down!''"
**(Don’t eat)
**"''What’s up with you, Gonzales? Who says no to free cake? You’re insane!''"
*"''Wow! That was the [[Bowser|king of the Koopas]], wasn't it? WOW! [[Bowser|That guy's]] insane!''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! Sounds like another mail, huh?''"
*"''Old [[Jolene|X]] dude surfaced again! We gotta go to some phone booth outside now? Where was that thing? Aw, we'll find it. Let's head outside!''"
*"''You, you BETTER keep walking, you punk chicken! YOU HEAR ME TALKING?!? Hey! Wait! I wonder... You think [[Rawk Hawk|THAT idiot]] sent us that hate mail? I guess it doesn't matter. SOMEBODY hates us so we better watch our steps.''"
*"''What the heck is this guy's problem? The storage room? I mean... Does he think we need the exercise? This dude is really cheesing me off.''"
*"''Are [[Ms. Mowz|you]] a friend of [[Mario|Gonzales]]? I didn't know [[Mario|he]] hung with crooks...and [[Ms. Mowz|you]] look like one. [[Glitz Pit Security|Security]] was talking about noises in here... Did [[Ms. Mowz|you]] make noise while [[Ms. Mowz|you]] stole stuff?''"
*"''Well, whatever, [[Ms. Mowz|lady]]... But [[Ms. Mowz|you]] ARE a thief, right?''"
*"''Is that what's called a kiss? I heard about those things! [[Mini-Yoshi|I'm]] jealous! Only [[Mario|you]] get it?''"
*"''Well, [[Ms. Mowz|she]] took off, huh? What was that kiss like? I gotta get me one of those... Hey, but what do [[Mario|you]] think [[Ms. Mowz|she]] meant about somebody being upstairs, huh?''"
*"''The staircase switch"? How the heck could there be a staircase in here?''"
*"''Whoa, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! WHOA! Did [[Mario|you]] hear that?!? Fighters are going missing, dude! That ain't cool! Was [[Grubba|that guy]] talking about [[King K]], the minor-leaguer? I thought he retired!''"
*"''Whoa! Whoa, man! We dodged a bullet there! Hey, but did you hear [[Grubba|that guy]] blabbing about the [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]]? That [[Jolene]] lady acted pretty guilty when [[Grubba|he]] let that one slip out... Well, whatever. For now, we better bail before somebody finds us up here!''"
*"''This guy really needs to take a chill pill. He sure knows a lot, though... He's going on about the [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]], the missing fighters, all that stuff... I tell [[Mario|you]] what, we find this guy, we'll have all the answers we need! But who is this psycho?''"
*"''Whoa! Free cake is where it’s AT! Let’s chow down!''"
**(Eat)
**"''YESSSS! Lemme at it!''"
**"''Now that is a CAKE, baby! Gimme two seconds here… There’s some left for you…''"
**"''Urk! Hey! What the heck! I’m going numb, dude!''"
**"''Boy, I’m FINALLY feeling OK! You didn’t need me anyway, Gonzales! You rocked them! Still… A poisoned cake… Someone wanted to toast us. We better watch our fronts AND backs from now on!''"
**(Don’t eat)
**"''[[Mario|Gonzales]], you’re nuts! Who says no to free cake? Did you hit your head?''"
**"''By the way, [[Mario|Gonzales]]... You see the [[Shady Koopa|dude]] on the floor back here?''"
**"''Was that cake poisoned? Yeah! It must've been! If we'd eaten it, we'd be all banged up like that guy!''"
*"''Ding ding ding! Mail call! [[Mario|You]] think it's from our pal or the guy who hates us?''"
*"''From [[Jolene|X]] this time, huh? That guy still sounds like a nut, but hey, he's all we got! What's he want us to do, again? Peel off [[Mario|your]] posters in the lobby? Sounds good to me. Let's hit the lobby.''"
*"''Whoa! Where do you think THAT key goes?''"
*"''WHOOOOOOAAAAA! You gotta be kidding me! [[Bandy Andy]]! And [[King K]]!''"
*"''C'mon, shake it off, [[Bandy Andy|buddy]]! What do [[Bandy Andy|you]] mean, don't go near the ring?''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! You see that?!? That was [[Jolene]]! This is craziness! What is going ON in here?''"
*"''Hold up, [[Glitz Pit Security|dude]]! Where are [[Glitz Pit Security|you]] heading? That ain't the way to the arena!''"
*"''Hey, hold it, [[Glitz Pit Security|meathead]]! This doesn't seem right...''"
*"''Hey! This ain't the ring! It's a minor-league locker room! And it's empty! [[Glitz Pit Security|That guy]] said to wait... But, [[Mario|dude]], we're missing our title bout! This stinks!''"
*"''OK, that is IT! Nobody's coming for us, [[Mario|man]]! Hear me? Let's go kick some tail!''"
*"''Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... WEAK! Some punk's locked us in! We're trapped in here!''"
*"''[[Mario|Man]], this is the WORST! We're gonna forfeit our match if we don't show! We gotta break outta here, [[Mario|man]]! Right now!''"
*"''Crud! It still won’t open!''"
*"''Rats! Locked! They thought of EVERYTHING!''"
*"''Dude, I have got SO much respect for plumbers now! Now let's get [[Rawk Hawk]]!''"
*"''Looks like we made it, [[Mario|dude]]! And the crowd is LOVING US! We are STARS, baby! Come on, let's go lay the smack down on that big [[Rawk Hawk|chicken]]!''"
*"''All right, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! We're fighting the [[Rawk Hawk|champ]]! I'M...SO...FIRED...UP!''"
*"''What kind of trash-talking are [[Rawk Hawk|you]] doing now? Wait... Did [[Rawk Hawk|YOU]] get that [[Glitz Pit Security|security guard]] to lock us in the locker room?''"
*"''So [[Rawk Hawk|YOU'RE]] the coward who's been sending nasty e-mails about the [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]]!''"
*"''YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! We finally made it, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! But... Y'know, [[Rawk Hawk]] really sounded clueless about the [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]]... We still don't have any leads on that thing. I mean, where the heck could [[Gold Star|it]] be?''"
*"''Hang on, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! You hear that? A voice is coming from somewhere!''"
*"''You think it's...a ghost?''"
*"''H-H-H-Hey! Do [[Mario|you]] HAVE to have [[Mailbox SP|that thing]] turned up? [[Mailbox SP|That]] scared me silly!''"
*"''There's actually a ghost in here? OK, that is NOT cool! Ghosts are scary!''"
*"''We're in the air duct, right? Where does it lead?''"
*"''That voice... It's [[Grubba]]! So [[Grubba|HE'S]] behind all those missing fighters?''"
*"''I think [[Grubba|he's]] gone... Let's check out that desk drawer of [[Grubba|his]]...''"
*"''Whoa! Bingo! I bet that's the [[Dubious Paper|paper]] ol' [[Grubba]] hid! Check it out, [[Mario]]!''"
*"''Yow! A machine under the ring using a [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]]? These are the blueprints! I dunno what the rest of this nerd-talk says, but I think the [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]] powers it! If this paper's right, then the machine can suck the power out of people! Yuck! Oh, crud... You think that [[King K]] and [[Bandy Andy|Bandy Andy]] got all...drained or something?''"
*"''Shut up! [[Grubba|You]] make me sick! Why'd you drain [[King K]] and [[Bandy Andy]], huh?!?''"
*"''After [[Grubba|him]], [[Mario|Gonzales]]!''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! Up there! That's the [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]], right?''"
*"''[[Grubba|You]] are such a scumbag! [[Grubba|You're]] gonna pay for using a [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]] like that!''"
*"''Yow! [[Grubba]] beefed up!''"
*"''Let's rock, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! I'm ready to chew [[Macho Grubba|this dude]] up and spit him out!''"
*"''[[Jolene]]!''"
*"''Ah-ha! So, our X buddy was...''"
*"''Boy, I thought [[Jolene|she]] was kinda mean, but it turns out [[Jolene|she]] was just worried for her [[Prince Mush|brother]]!''"
*"''Wow! Check it out, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! The [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]]!''"
*"''Is THAT what [[Crystal Stars]] can do?''"
*"''Whoa! Are [[Jolene|you]] sure? It's OK if we just take [[Gold Star|it]]?''"
*"''It's all you, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! Nab [[Gold Star|it]], [[Mario|dude]]!''"
*"''Sweet! Another Crystal Star! That’s three, right? We’d better roll back to Rogueport, don’t you think?''"
*"''Gonzales! You got an e-mail!''"
*"''Those dudes wanna rule the world? That would stink!''"
*"''Whoa, come on! [[Doopliss|THIS]] is the monster the [[Dour|mayor]] was freaking out about?''"
*"'''Big deal'?!? You stink, Mister! Why'd you wanna turn [[Twilighter|them]] into pigs, anyway?''"
*"''Yeah, this is [[Creepy Steeple]]. That nasty monster's place...This place wigs me out...''"
*"''Look, Gonzales, let's just get that Crystal Star and get out of here, FAST!''"
*"''So, who's [[Vivian|this girl]], huh? Isn't she one of the [[Shadow Sirens]] you guys mentioned? But why would Gonzales pair up with one of those creeps?''"
*"''Hey! [[Mario|Gonzales]]! I think Bobbery's just sleeping! Yeah!''"
*"''[[Admiral Bobbery|He]] IS! And here I was, getting all choked up! Give him a wake-up whack!''"
*"''Not quite with it yet, huh?''"
*"''Hey, you're still alve, you nutcase!''"
*"''Ugh, this place gives me the creeps. Is this Twilight Town?''"
*"''Y'know... That curse dude ain't half bad.''"
*"''Whoa, that freaky voice is making noise again... The ghosts must be nearby...''"
*"''Yeah! Yeah! We whipped [[Lord Crump|him]]! That loser won't get in our face for a while, for SURE!''"
*"''They're gonna do all right [[Keelhaul Key|here]], I think. Yeah. Let's break out, [[Mario]].''"
*"''OK, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! That's our cue! Let's break out of here and head for [[The Thousand-Year Door|the door]]!
*"''Whoa, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! What in the world are these [[Smorg|little monsters]]?''"
*"''[[Mario|You]] think these [[Smorg|weirdos]] flipped the switch?''"
*"''Let's hurry up and find it so we can switch it back!''"
*"''Boy... Are [[Chef Shimi|you]] really sure... those aren't poisonous?''"
*"''Woo hoo! Tomorrow is finally [[Poshley Heights]] day!''"
*"''We've gotta get the [[Garnet Star|Crystal Star]] before those other goons, no matter what!''"
*"''Let's catch some Z's before the big day, huh?''"
*"''Whoa, aren't those the [[Smorg|things]] from the [[Riverside Station|station]] yesterday? They must've stowed away!''"
*"''Those [[Smorg|little monsters]] are inside the [[Excess Express|train]] now! Let's get 'em!''"
*"''What IS that [[Smorg|gnarly thing]]?''"
*"''...Whoa! Gonzales, look! [[Smorg|It's]] got the other passengers!''"
*"''Boy! This is darn cold! Where is this place, anyway?''"
*"''Whoa! We're using a cannon to blast ourselves to the moon? YEAH! EXTREEEEME!''"
*"''This is gonna be so COOOOL! Just point the way! Where is this [[Fahr Outpost]]?''"
*"''An [[Ultra Hammer]]?!? Hey! Right ON! We already got one of those!''"
*"''Yeah! You got it, [[Professor Frankly|Prof]]! [[Fahr Outpost]]! Chaaaarge!''"
*"''So this is [[Fahr Outpost|the place]], huh? Where's this [[Big bomb cannon|cannon]] that can shoot to the moon?''"
*"''Let's chat up some of these locals and see what they have to say, OK?''"
*"''It's stupid cold!''"
*"''[[Mario]], check that out!''"
*"''Yeah! We did it, [[Mario|Gonzales]]!''"
*"''WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAA!''"
*"''Whoa! That was AWESOME!''"
*"''Man, who knew adventurers got to do stuff like THAT?''"
*"''Whoa! We're really, truly, no-fooling on the [[moon]]!''"
*"''Let's rock out, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! Let's find the last [[Crystal Star]] and save [[Princess Peach|Peach]]!''"
*"''Whoa! Look! [[Thousand–Year Door|The door]]!!!''"
*"''Let's rock, [[Mario|Gonzales]]!!!''"
*"''Whoa, [[Palace of Shadow|this place]] is nasty... but we don't have a choice!''"
*"''We've gotta cruise through and save [[Princess Peach|Peach]] before this whole cataclysm happens! C'mon, [[Mario|Gonzales]]!''"
*"''Opening [[Thousand–Year Door|the door]] for you? What's THAT supposed to mean, [[Beldam|you purple witch]]?''"
*"''No way we go down, [[Beldam|sister]]! You want a piece of this? Bring it on!''"
*"''Let's leave [[Shadow Sirens|these wusses]], Gonzales...''"
*"''So, [[Grodus|this loser]] is the leader of those [[X-Naut]]s?''"
*"''So, that last [[Crystal Star]] we got on the [[Moon]]... NO! We're IDIOTS!''"
*"''Not gonna happen, pal!''"
*"''Gonzales serves nobody, lady! Right, Gonzales?''"
*"''Gonzales, we're not REAL champs, unless we beat this [[Shadow Queen|evil lady]]! So don't go soft on me! That's not [[Princess Peach|Peach]], you know!''"
*"''Oh, haven't you heard, lady? Champs NEVER give up!''"
*"''Do you hear them, Gonzales? So many voices...''"
*"''They're... They're sending us all their wishes and positive energy... That is so AWESOME!''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! Look at THAT!!!''"
*"''Whoa... What IS this? I feel insanely pumped with energy all of a sudden!''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! Now's the time! We've got her scared!''"
*"''Now THAT'S what I'm talking about, baby! And now, it's time to settle the score!''"
*"''Time for payback!''"
*"''Gonzales... No, wait. I've gotta stop doing that. It's MARIO, right? Well, you'll always be Gonzales to me, man! Because I was born in the [[Glitz Pit]], and the Great Gonzales is, and always will be, the champ. So, let's meet again, Gonzales! I mean it, man!''"
*"''Hey, take a long walk off a short pier, you dork! Who'd date you, anyway?''"
*"''Whoa! What a psycho!''"

==[[Zess T.]]==
*"''You two! Not another step! Don't come this way!!!''"
*"''Some complete JERK just bumped into me and made me lose a contact lens! I'm looking for it right now, so DON'T YOU DARE MOVE!!!''"
*"''You hear me? Whatever you do, do NOT move an INCH! NOT AN INCH, YOU HEAR?!?''"
*"''I TOLD [[Mario|YOU]] NOT TO MOVE! DON'T YOUR STUPID EARS WORK?!?''"
*"''This is your fault! Now I have to buy a new contact lens! But YOU'RE gonna pay for it! Compensate me, Mr. Clumsy!''"
*"''AAAAAAA! My rage is so hot right now, I could cook YOU in it!''"
*"''Hey, Mr. Contact-Smoosher! Listen to this… I got the lowdown on a book that can turn anyone into a master chef! I went to the Trouble Center in the east port of town and recruited someone to find it. If you like helping folks out, you oughta swing by there. I'll reward you! So anyway… Did you need me to cook something for you, Dr. Bumblefoot?''"
*"''What's wrong with spending time with my [[Toadsworth|little  Toadle-toes]]?''"
*"''Sorry to keep you waiting! I'm not entirely sure you'll like this, but... Go on! Take it, Stompy!''"
*"''Anytime you feel like it, feel free to bring me stuff to cook with, OK?''"
*"''I've got it now! Just glaze a Mushroom with Honey Syrup…for a yummy Honey Shroom! Brilliant! Now I can use recipes that require two ingredients! Now that's SOME book… Talk about effective! Thanks, Mr. Staggers! Take this as your reward! …Or I COULD have given you a reward, but you have too much stuff! I'll just leave it here, so grab it whenever!''"

{{Quotes}}
{{PMTTYD}}
[[Category:Quotes|Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes by character (L–Z)]]
[[Category:Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door|*]]