Texas Tea

The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! live-action segment
"Texas Tea"
Production number	137
Airdate	November 2, 1989
Guest star(s)	Norman Fell
Title reference	A common nickname for oil
Cartoon episode	"The Trojan Koopa"
Zelda preview	"Stinging a Stinger"
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"Texas Tea" is the forty-fourth live-action segment of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! Its corresponding animated episode is "The Trojan Koopa."

Plot synopsis

In the kitchen area of Mario Brothers Plumbing, both Mario and Luigi, wearing aprons, are in the midst of attempting to slice tomatoes, which is proving difficult, as the knife they are using is quite dull. As Mario complains to Luigi that the knife "couldn't cut jello," he proceeds to say that they need a new one, to which Luigi responds to by saying he should dream on, as they are both broke and can barely afford to keep their plumbing shop open, let alone buy new knives. Agreeing with Luigi, Mario laments that people just are not having plumbing problems anymore, saying that they just do not make pipes as leaky as they used to. Mario goes on to say that if business keeps going the way it is, he and Luigi will have to cut down on their overeating. Hearing Mario say this, Luigi retaliates by saying what does he mean "we" and proceeds to call Mario "roly-poly," which causes both Mario and Luigi to break out laughing.

After a good chuckle, Mario gathers up the bits and pieces of the tomato he was trying to cut earlier and asks Luigi to get him another one from the tomato garden they have in a bathtub nearby. Obliging to Mario's request, Luigi heads over to the tomato garden, saying that the tomatoes look good this year, which causes Mario to yell over to Luigi to get him some really fresh ones, and grabs a tomato plant and yanks from the dirt. After Luigi removes the tomato plant from the dirt, a small geyser of oil suddenly shoots upward out of the soil. As Luigi excitedly alerts him to the "black gold" that is spouting from their tomato garden, Mario rushes over and, along with Luigi, gets sprayed by the so-called "Texas tea," claiming that the two of them are now filthy rich, with an oil soaked Luigi also saying that they are filthy all right. After Luigi says this, Mario says he is going to try and cap the spouting oil.

As Luigi watches Mario clumsily fumble with a tomato plant near the oil, the apartment doorbell suddenly rings and a man dressed in a spotless white suit and cowboy hat enters, drawing both Mario and Luigi's attention. Asking who the man is, Luigi gets the response from him that he is Ted Bull, president of Bull Oil Company. Greeting Ted, Luigi tells him to come right in, which Ted does, descending the stairs into the workshop, where he proceeds to give Luigi his business card. Taking the card, Luigi introduces Ted to Mario, who greets Ted with a hearty handshake with his oil covered hand. Realizing his hand is covered in oil and that he has just coated Ted's hand with it as well, Mario apologizes, only to be told by Ted, who wipes his hand off on Mario's shirt, that its alright, as an oily handshake is the best kind of handshake. After introductions are done, Ted states to Mario and Luigi that he hears they struck oil, which causes a surprised Luigi that news travels fast. In response to Luigi's comment, Ted says he can smell a gusher a mile away and proceeds to tell him and Mario that he has a deal they cannot refuse, one that will make them rich beyond their wildest dreams.

Later on, Mario lies on a brand new couch, surrounded by various new, expensive objects, and looks through a yacht magazine, asking the nearby Luigi if he should buy a blue two-hundred and fifty thousand, nine hundred dollar, forty-six foot yacht or a brown one. After Luigi replies to his question by saying he does not know, Mario simply states that with the amount of money the two of them will be making, he might be going to just buy both colors. After Mario says this, Luigi states that maybe they should have waited until Ted Bull had actually given them the cheque for their oil before they went out and splurged on so many expensive things. Telling Luigi to relax, Mario says that they will have the money to pay for everything and goes on to say that it will be great not having to settle for being second best from now on, saying that now they can enjoy the finer things in life. Sitting down on the couch with Mario, Luigi agrees with him, stating that now they can have things like vacations and be able to eat pizza in indoor restaurants, and also own furniture they did not just find. As Luigi says all this, Mario states that Mama Mario will be so proud of them for becoming so wealthy, which Luigi agrees with, saying that this is the life.

Later on, a diamond-covered Mario and a white-jacketed Luigi are in the middle of relaxing on new chairs, surrounded by crates and boxes of various things they have bought. Relaxing, Mario states that he loves they are new style of life. Though he agrees with Mario, Luigi voices his concern that he hopes Ted Bull arrives with their cheque soon, as their bills are piling up. After saying this, Luigi asks Mario to go get him a cup of oil, saying he just wants to gaze at pure money. Doing as Luigi asks, Mario gets up and heads to their oil well with a cup, only to see the oil well give a few pathetic spurts before dying. Panickingly, Mario tells Luigi the well has gone dry. Getting up, Luigi begins to rush over to Mario and the well, just as a group of repo men enter and begin to take the boxes and crates containing all of Mario and Luigi's recent purchases. Asking what is going on, Luigi is told by a repo man, who drops a crate on his foot, that, "you don't pay, it don't stay."

As the repo men take everything away, Ted Bull arrives and tells Mario and Luigi that he is sorry to hear about their dried-up well, saying he cannot do business with them unless they have oil. Saying that news must travel fast if Ted has heard about their dried-up well so quickly, Mario, along with Luigi, is reminded by Ted that he can smell a gusher a mile away. As Ted leaves Mario Brothers Plumbing after telling Mario and Luigi that if they strike oil again, to call him, Edison suddenly bursts out of his manhole and informs Mario and Luigi that he has fixed their leaky oil pipe and asks if they are proud of him. After Luigi tells him proud is not the word they would use, a confused Edison leaves through his manhole, leaving Mario and Luigi to lean on each other and begin to quietly sob.

Trivia

• When Mario, Luigi, and Ted Bull perform the "Do the Mario!" routine at the end of the episode, the theme music that normally plays is absent.
• Due to unspecified legal complications, "Texas Tea" is absent in Shout! Factory's DVD releases, along with eleven other segments.
• When Shout! Factory released The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! complete series on two DVD sets, four of the episodes were presented as "cartoon only" bonus episodes. The four missing "lost" live-action segments were: "Baby Mario Love," "9001: A Mario Odyssey," "Texas Tea," and "George Washington Slept Here." The first three were finally released on DVD in Australia. The six disc set is a region free NTSC format collection that contains 50 of the 52 Super Mario (franchise)|Super Mario]] episodes of the show. All episodes include the cartoon, live-action segments, and The Legend of Zelda previews (no Zelda preview for "Day of the Orphan"), but do not contain commercial bumpers. The missing episodes in this collection are "Rolling Down the River/The Mario Monster Mash" and "The Unzappables/George Washington Slept Here." All four of these "lost" episodes, including "George Washington Slept Here" are on a German DVD set, presented the same way as above, but without the Zelda previews. They are presented with dual English and German audio on PAL format DVDs.