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| DAISY: She likes being a part of games, you have to admit. And she isn't greedy. Have you ever hear her say "I hate this game!"? No. She gets frustrated, but she's no sore loser. | | DAISY: She likes being a part of games, you have to admit. And she isn't greedy. Have you ever hear her say "I hate this game!"? No. She gets frustrated, but she's no sore loser. |
| == The Weekly Blarg: Issue I ==
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| Today is week 1 of the Weekly Blarg!!! There is much to read in this paper.
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| Luigi's Day Yesterday
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| We interviewed Mario to see what he did yesterday. He said, "I forgot". He sure is great at expressing his feelings! So we asked Luigi. He had a very long story. (No seriously, he did.) He first went to his portrait of Daisy, kissed it a few times, then went downstairs for his cup o' joe. After that, he was practicing his goomba smashing. He then ate 16-layer cake (Yikes!) which was 17,000,000 calories. Then he took a swim. He then ate a Mega Mushroom and crushed half of the Mushroom Kingdom. They thought it was Waluigi, so they threw him in jail. Wait, no. The Mushroom Kingdom doesn't ''HAVE'' a jail! So they threw him in a pile of mud. After that Luigi threw a party and ate a 100-layer cake. Luckly, Peach, Daisy, and Wario helped him with it. Wario got most of it, obviously.
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| Who's the Better Character?
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| Some people wonder, who was it a better idea to make? Daisy or Waluigi? Here's your answer:
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| DAISY: The princess of Sarsaland. It was a relief to have another female character in Super Mario games. (For girls, anyway.) There are many Daisy fans all over the world.
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| WALUIGI: Wario's "brother". Likes cheating. When he was made, most people liked having another sneaky, treasure-loving character. A lot of people like his attitide. Honestly, who doesn't like treasure?
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| Game Experience:
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| DAISY: Daisy has good game expeience. She likes sports. She's played baseball, tennis, golf, stuff like that. She remains pretty thin.
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| WALUIGI: Waluigi has been around longer than Daisy, but says "I hate this game" every now and then. Yet he remains skin and bones.
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| Overall ranking:
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| DAISY: Daisy has a lot of fans, let's face it. This isn't going to be a blowout victory. Daisy deserves some credit. She does have attitude, though. She can also be loud.
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| WALUIGI: Waluigi has a lot of fans, but never is a main character. But most likely, he will be a main character soon. (Cross your fingers, Waluigi fans!)
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| THE BIG WINNER:
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| DAISY: She likes being a part of games, you have to admit. And she isn't greedy. Have you ever hear her say "I hate this game!"? No. She gets frustrated, but she's no sore loser.
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| The Big Race
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| HOST: Okay, folks. Today's the day! The weelky race for the Mushroom Cup. The entrees must avoid hundreds of boos, including Big Boo himself!
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| BIG BOO: Hahaha! Try and get past me, losers!
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| HOST: Uhh, was it really a good idea to have him here? Okay, so our entrees are: Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Wario, Waluigi, Donkey Kong, Bowser, Toad, and Yoshi.
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| YOSHI: Yoooooshi yoshi yoshi yoshi! Translation: Get ready to be smoked by my super speed!
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| DONKEY KONG: Ook ook ooooooook! Translation: Only when you are, Yoshi!
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| MARIO: I don't speak Yoshi or ape, but I'll definatly win!
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| LUIGI: In your dreams, bro!
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| PEACH: You guys don't know half of what you're talking about!
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| DAISY: Peach, unless you're talking about yourself, you're WRONG!!!
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| WALUIGI: I'm just in for the treasure. Have you seen my closet?
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| WARIO: Yeah, it's full of dust.
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| WALUIGI: No, but behind the dust, barnacle face!
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| WARIO: Look who's talking, unicorn poop!
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| Everyone already was about 100 yards away while Wario and Waluigi were still yapping.
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| HOST: Yoshi pulls in front of Daisy!
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| YOSHI: Yoshi yooooooooshi!!! Translation: I told you I'd win!
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| HOST: Sorry Yoshi, but there are four laps.
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| YOSHI: Ah wawawa! Translation: Darn, just when i was sure I'd win!
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| Yoshi stumbles and falls, to be passed by Daisy, Mario, and Luigi.
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| DAISY: Ha! If you're in the lead for a full lap, you have good chances of winning!!!
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| Peach caught up to Daisy, stayed at her speed, taunted her, then went ahead.
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| PEACH: The golden Mushroom is mine to keep!
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| DAISY: Sorry sister, but I need it!
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| Daisy passed Peach.
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| PEACH: Oh, dang it!
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| Daisy reached Big Boo.
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| BIG BOO: Paaaaassword?
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| DAISY: Ummm, Boo is cool???
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| BIG BOO: No, but I'll let you through.
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| Big Boo let Daisy go through him. Meanwhile, Waluigi and Wario caught up to Peach using their rocket shoes.
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| BIG BOO: Paaaaass---
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| WALUIGI: Losers! The cup is mine!
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| But then a goblin pops out of nowhere and pounds Wario and Waluigi out of the stadium.
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| WALUIGI: Uh, oh. Dumb goblin.
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| WARIO: You're the dumb goblin.
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| WALUIGI: Does this mean we're disqualified?
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| HOST: Yes.
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| WALUIGI: Darn...
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| Daisy approches the Wall Climb.
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| FUNKY KONG: Can you get past the Wall Climb? Do you need help?
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| DAISY: Of course not.
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| Daisy runs through the Wall Climb.
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| HOST: Daisy risks a shortcut for others.
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| DAISY: Ugh, I need to think before i romp...
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| MARIO: WOOO HOO!!!
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| Mario perfers to jump over the wall.
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| LUIGI: AHHHHH!
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| Luigi tries to do the same as Mario, but fails.
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| LUIGI: Oof!
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| MARIO: Sorry, bro. But I have a trophy to win!
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| DAISY: You won't lay a FINGER on MY trophy!!!
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| MARIO: I'd like to see you try and stop me!
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| LUIGI: It's-a MY trophy!!!
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| Luigi passes the arguing Mario and Daisy.
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| PEACH: None of you will get my trophy!
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| DONKEY KONG: Oooook!!! Translation: My trophy!!
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| YOSHI: Yoshi yoshi yooooooooshi! Translation: Sorry, ape. The trophy is MINE!
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| HOST: Who will win?
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| Everyone passes the finish line at the same time, run into the stand the trophy was on, the trophy falls, then, to everyone's bad luck, shatters.
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| MARIO: Awww... I'd rather get eaten by Bowser then lose my trophy...
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| BOWSER: Did someone say "Bowser"?
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| LUIGI: He did!!!
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| Luigi points at Mario, who scoots out of the way quickly, revealing Wario and Waluigi.
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| BOWSER: Which one said my name?
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| MARIO: Wario!
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| LUIGI: Waluigi!
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| BOWSER: I guess that means BOTH!!!
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| WARIO: Way to throw us under the bus, losers...
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| WALUIGI: I'm skin and bones! You can't eat me! We're all cool, right? Right?
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| BOWSER: No. We're not all cool. My dumb kid, Bowser Jr. stopped me from entering, the race, so you'll have to pay!
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| WARIO: ...
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| WALUIGI: How'd we get into this, anyway?
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| BOWSER: I don't know. Somehow, you just did.
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| HOST: So that's who we were missing!
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| BOWSER: Yes! You didn't remember the most important contestant of all?!
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| HOST: No, I didn't. Somehow you just flew out of my mind?
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| BOWSER: I don't believe you.
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| MARIO: Quietly: I'm glad I forgot...
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| HOST: Okay, join us next week for another The Big Race, which hopefully will end better.
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| Conclusion:
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| So how did you like the first ever Weekly Blarg? Feel free to give your opinion on My Talk. And watch out for The Weekly Blarg, Issue II
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