The 'Shroom:Issue 234/Strategy Wing
Director's Notes
Written by: Hooded Pitohui (talk)
Hello, all you readers of The 'Shroom! Waluigi Time and Sparks have splashed yellow all over the paper's front page once more, which means that cooler temperatures are on the way to relieve me! If only they had let me keep the Ty-foos from issue 230... Ah, well. I may not be able to command the winds to usher the season in sooner, but at least that means a few more weeks of frogsong.
While the frogs croak, let's get into the news! As I've mentioned in the section itself, this month's edition of Pokémon Academy will be the last from me, at least for the foreseeable future. It's been a good four and a half years, but it's time for a change. I'm not putting the Pokédex down entirely, however, for this month also marks the debut of Move Reminder, a new section in which I'll be looking at obscure or outright cut moves from the mainline RPGs. If you're really craving some tips on raising Pokémon, there's always room for you to join the team with your own section! You're even welcome to use any of the tables I used, or I can help you make your own.
In other news, An Overly Detailed and Funny Walkthrough of Mega Man is taking a break this month, but will return to cover Mega Man 7 in October. Former Shine Get and To Infinity and Beyond writer Waluigi Time (talk) has once again graciously provided us with a Rising From Obscurity. Beyond his look at an enemy which hopped back into the spotlight, we've got Killing Game roles, new conquests in China, an underwater excursion in Super Mario Galaxy 2, and more.
Take a glance at last month's voting results, then go forth and read!
Section of the Month
Congratulations go to Sparks (talk), who once again impressed with his guide to infiltrating Wily's fortress and taking down the mad doctor himself! Fighting robotic dinosaurs and turrets was all worth it to see Wily tied up, eh? I'm sure he'll be in captivity for a long time to come. He wouldn't just escape again with the NES titles over, right...? Let's offer a shout to Koops (talk) and Roserade (talk) for taking silvers with their respective attempt to wrangle brain-draining scarecrows and analysis of a Goo Assistant with an untuned Forbidden Action. My thanks go out to all of our writers and to the voters who support them!
| STRATEGY WING SECTION OF THE MONTH | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Place | Section | Votes | % | Writer |
| 1st | An Overly Detailed and Funny Walkthrough of Mega Man 6 | 5 | 33.33% | Sparks (talk) |
| 2nd | The Death of the Player | 3 | 20.00% | Koops (talk) |
| 2nd | Killing the Killing Game Roles | 3 | 20.00% | Roserade (talk) |
| 3rd | Rising From Obscurity | 2 | 13.33% | Waluigi Time (talk) |
Four Steps for a 3D World
Written by: Hooded Pitohui (talk)
Hello all you readers of The 'Shroom, and welcome back to Four Steps for a 3D World! Here, we look at levels from a selection of 3D Super Mario titles through the lens of a design philosophy Koichi Hayashida discussed in an interview, either mapping out how they use it or contrasting them against it.
In brief, 3D Mario game levels in certain titles are designed around an introduction (
) that lets a player learn a mechanic in a safe environment, further development (
) that builds on what the player is learning and introduces more complicated aspects of a mechanic, a twist (
) that adds some kind of significant wrinkle or challenge to force players to consider the mechanic from a new angle, and a conclusion (
) which gives players one final satisfying chance to show they've mastered the mechanic. We look at 3D Mario levels and see if they conform to this model while trying to get some insight on how a good level is constructed.
Compared to its predecessor, Galaxy 2 invests more heavily in constant introduction of new mechanics and new mission concepts. This tends to come at the expense of the atmosphere and set dressing of its courses. The structures of both games reflect this shift in focus. Galaxy has fifteen main courses with six Power Stars apiece, clearly expecting players to return to certain galaxies many times in a playthrough. It takes advantage of this structure by often having players revisit a certain starting planet in these major galaxies, changing it up throughout its missions to create a sense of narrative progression that makes its galaxies feel like places Mario and co. happen to be searching through, rather than blocks assembled to create a videogame level. Galaxy 2 never puts more than three Power Stars in a given course (Green Stars excepted), whisking players from course to course at a brisk pace. Compare and contrast the Honeyhive Galaxy – which steps players through an introduction to the honeybee kingdom, an incursion by a limited number of the rival Mandibugs, and then a full Mandibug invasion – to the Puzzle Plank Galaxy, which is presented as nothing more than a floating obstacle course (if one with a fun and jaunty backing track).
While Galaxy puts more emphasis on set dressing than its successor does, that's not to say the games are without counterexamples. Flipswitch Galaxy from the first game is also nothing more than a floating, context-less puzzle, for instance, and Slimy Spring Galaxy is Galaxy 2's answer to the atmospheric courses of its predecessor. Let's step through it and see how it uses our four step framework without eschewing the crafting of a unique and cohesive mood.
| Step | Image | Notes |
|---|---|---|
 Scene Setting |
|
The mission starts building up a gloomy, almost oppressive mood even before the game returns control to the player. The fly-in sequence fills the screen with a thick blue-tinted fog as Mario rockets through a cavernous space. The roof and stalactites box in the upper boundary of the screen, with Mario flying into a smaller hole in the side of a gigantic stone wall. The stones and fog obscuring the view combine with the small size of the opening to make the course feel claustrophobic, perhaps even a little foreboding. It feels like a place where one might get trapped, never to return. |
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Mario lands in a strange little cavern within the stone wall. The domed rock above and the tiny little entrance at the back of the cavern maintain the claustrophobic feeling. The back entrance especially contributes, with its brickwork textures calling to mind dungeons and sewers and its structure preventing players from seeing what lies beyond. A pair of bats flit about the entrance, contributing to the unease with their screeching and swooping. At the same time, the water constantly flowing over the hills and rocks here gives the area a dissonant serenity. True, everything is enclosed and foreboding, but there's some beauty to this hideaway. We'll circle back to that thought later on. For now, after soaking in the sights and drawing one last gulp of air, players can only progress by heading into that back entrance. | |
|
Said back entrance dumps players onto a short slide, water and gravity pushing them along. I appreciate its definitiveness. Its unclimbable nature contributes an unmistakable message of "you can't get back up". Players are trapped in the waters of this sewer/well/dungeon now, and the only hope of escape is to dive and to tread through them. | |
| Introduction |
|
Until now, there hasn't been any focus on the mission's core mechanics. That's not too bad, because everything up until now takes a few seconds to cross at most. Now, we get a small portion of the well here with air above and water below. The opening to the next segment is entirely below water, so players must dive to proceed. To further encourage diving, mines rest just above the waterline, and a trail of bubbled coins glitters below the water. Once players grab a Koopa shell from below, they can use the air pocket above and the coins to keep their health up while they get accustomed to the Koopa shell's controls. The area is relatively safe and gives players all the space and time they need to learn a new mechanic. That's a textbook Introduction section if I've ever seen one! |
|
The Introduction goes on as players ride the shell into a narrow submerged cave. The narrowness continues with the general claustrophobia while also creating a chokepoint that forces players to engage with four Urchins and a trio of Snoodles. Both have appeared previously, but the game doesn't take for granted that players have learned how to deal with Snoodles, which appear in only one other galaxy. Instead, in a clever bit of design, the Urchins, self-evidently dangerous with their spikes, encourage players to tilt the shell up to avoid them. In doing so, they'll likely point its headlight at one or more of the Snoodles, allowing players to learn that the light defeats Snoodles when pointed at their face. This, combined with a split in the path, allows this narrow area to teach two vital lessons. One, it teaches players how to navigate around enemies and obstacles while riding a shell, and two, it teaches them how to use the shell's headlight to defeat certain types of enemies. | |
| Development |
|
On the other side of the split path, the developers take the training wheels off. The tunnel remains narrow in terms of height, but it broadens, making for a larger space to navigate. Stone pillars and a large collection of Snoodles serve as obstacles here. This stretch, in classic Development fashion, tests players on the mechanics they've learned. Do players know how to navigate this area with their shell? Do players know how to defeat Snoodles that are in their way? The danger is a little greater because there's only one backup shell available for players who collide with a Snoodle, and it's at the start of the section, meaning players will waste precious air if they go back to retrieve it. Here, the mission complements its claustrophobia with a new tension - the possibility of running out of air (there are no coins or air bubbles here). The camera angle here hides what comes at the end of this cave, putting questions into the heads of a first-time player. Will they find air before they drown? If they lose time to a collision, can they make it up? |
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At the end of the cave comes a narrow passage made of stone brick, returning to that dungeon or sewer feel from earlier. The steep angle makes it hard to see what's coming up ahead, maintaining that possibility of drowning before reaching a reprieve. As players go up this pathway, Urchins roll down towards them, again testing their ability to navigate through clusters of enemies using the shell. | |
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When players reach the crest of the Urchin-filled passage, it flattens out, revealing only a wall of Brick Blocks. Players must ride the shell through the wall, allowing it to break through for them. This reveals a pair of Gringills lunging towards players and gnashing their teeth. At first it looks like players must ride right into the Gringills, but the passage actually bends down here, taking players safely beneath them. At the end of this downward bend waits a Launch Star, mercifully out in the air. I wasn't sure what this stretch contributed to mechanical progression at first, but when I thought about it in terms of atmosphere and set dressing, it clicked. The wall and the fakeout scare with the Gringills make more sense when seen as the climax of that rising anxiety around drowning. At this point, Mario's oxygen meter is nearly depleted. The speed of the shell and the lack of air bubbles/coins all but ensures that. This is where a player's tension spikes, and the developers lean into that. Are players going to panic here and throw their shell - their one lifeline - at the Brick Blocks or the Gringills? As often is the case in real life, to panic is to drown. A rash action that destroys the shell here makes it difficult for players to recover. Staying calm and proceeding forward at a steady pace is the best way to make it out. The lesson being taught? Trust the shell and stay calm. This stretch is an elegant union of atmosphere and mechanical progression, and demonstrates how set dressing can complement careful level design and vice versa. | |
| Intermission |
|
With Mario finally granted a breath, the Launch Star takes players to the entrance to yet another sewer/dungeon/well area. There's a Checkpoint Flag, there's a Paragoomba to serve as a platform to a 1-Up Mushroom, and there are coins leading down below. That's it. Otherwise, it's a big opening that once again obscures what comes next, beckoning players to jump down into the unknown. Intriguingly, there's none of that serenity from the course's start. It's as if the area design here is saying "this is a reprieve, but you aren't free of danger yet". |
| Twist |
|
After a big dive back into the water, an arrow of Star Bits points players towards a shell and a wall with a hole in it. The hole has a ring inside. When crossing through, players discover this ring provides a burst of speed. On the other side, players find themselves using more holes and rings to cross through a short series of submerged chambers. In a clear sign this is the big Twist, the mission does away with concerns around drowning by putting a coin and air bubble in most every hole. There's still a navigation element, but now the mission tasks players with navigating through small openings and around Boos while handling the shell at its boosted speed. The shift from narrow passages to open chambers reflects the set dressing and level design changing in lockstep with the mission's mechanical progression. This mission has done great at weaving those elements together. |
| Conclusion |
|
Once players pass through the final chamber, the level narrows again. Players are sent once more through a steeply-inclined passage. More Urchins roll down than before, and the passage offers far less space for players to weave around them. This is the mission's final challenge, testing that players have mastered weaving around obstacles with the shell and that they've learned not to panic despite the enclosed spaces and their ever-decreasing oxygen meter. The return to a narrow space and an enemy gauntlet signals that the Twist step is over, offering players a chance to show they've truly mastered cruising underwater with a shell. |
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Finally, Mario emerges in a grassy field with a bright sun shining just above the horizon. Players step forward into this field of lovely white flowers and trees. Birdsong and environmental noises replace the background music. It's a beautiful area, and its design asks that players sit with it. Not all will, but some will stop to smell the virtual flowers. It's serene, peaceful, and it fulfills that promise from the course's entrance. Finally, finally players have found their promised hideaway. They have braved the dangers, just like they were asked at the checkpoint, and they are rewarded for it. |
Slimy Spring Galaxy has always been in my top three Super Mario Galaxy 2 courses, and after replaying its central mission over and over for this section, I appreciate it even more. It elegantly joins its mechanical progression and its set dressing, using them to reinforce each other at every turn. The initial claustrophobia warns players of the danger to come. The narrow passages and lack of air challenge players to keep calm so they can keep their shell cruising steadily forward. When the mechanical focus shifts, the course communicates it by backing away from the claustrophobic passages and caves. Add little flourishes like a narrow cave and carefully-placed Urchins guiding players to defeat a Snoodle early on, and "The Deep Shell Well" may just win an award for best construction of a water-focused 3D Mario mission.
That is where this month's discussion ends. With four enclosed chambers of Boos, three introductory Snoodles, two Gringills, and one beautiful view at the mission's end, this has been Four Steps for a 3D World!
Killing the Killing Game Roles
Welcome back, readers, to another edition of Killing the Killing Game Roles, the section where we analyze various player roles from past Mario Boards Killing Games in hope of answering the question, what makes for a good role? By analyzing what's come before, we can discover some tricks and tips that could even help you design your own roles!
After lots of passive mentions of it in the last few months, I believe it is finally time. Yes, everyone, it's true: I've selected a role from the original Awards Killing Game 2 to analyze. Now's the time, with 2x2 rapidly nearing its final case. Besides the nostalgic walk down memory lane that reviewing the old threads provided, my hunt for this month's role also reminded me of how rich AKG2's batch of player roles is. There's a lot of ground covered, with both familiar archetypes and more unique ideas. Today's selection will lean into the latter, as we examine a role that seems like it comes equipped with a very straightforward power set... but digging deeper reveals a whole world of meta gameplay at hand.
Superintendent, I hope you're prepared for mouthwatering role cards!
AKG2 - Seymour Skinner, Ultimate Liar
- SEYMOUR SKINNER
- ULTIMATE LIAR
Card 1
BIO:
- You are Seymour Skinner, principal of Springfield Elementary, and a man with a... difficult connection to your boss, Superintendent Chalmers. However, that connection has made you very well at bluffing and lying! And it looks like bluffing and lying might be what you need to do to survive here. You'd better use all your wily wits and ideas to make it through this mess, and get home before your roast is ruined!
ABILITIES:
- Surely, if you fooled Chalmers, you can fool anyone. As the Ultimate Liar, you can tell an almighty lie once per day phase in your testimony or discussions with others (and pointing it out to the hosts in DMs). This lie can be used to obscure evidence if you inspect the evidence yourself after telling it (i.e. the hosts will report your lie as if it was the truth).
- With your chosen lie, you will also passively alter the relevant thoughts of players if they choose to think back and receive clarification from the hosts. You can only passively affect things that you have a direct hand in, such as actions you perform and things you directly witness happening. In effect, if you want to disguise Hamburgers as Steamed Hams, then the world is your Borealis. A lie under careful inspection and investigation will easily unravel, so be wary about what you choose to lie about.
Card 2
STATS
- Strength: 2/5
- Stealth: 4/5
- Speed: 3/5
- Stamina: 2/5
- Social: 5/5
FORBIDDEN ACTION:
Breaking your lie by telling the truth. If you tell a lie, you must stick with it to the end.
"Gee MoonAge, how come mom let you have four roles featured in Killing the Killing Game Roles?"
It's true, the ever-infectious powers of Steamed Hams were utilized by Moon during her stint in the many mansions of AKG2. I would name Moon as a player who is routinely delivered pretty interesting role concepts, likely due to her long history as a Killing Game player. How hosts distribute their roles is entirely to their discretion, but oftentimes more experienced players make for the best recipient of experimental or intensive roles. After all, you want the player receiving your carefully-crafted work to be able to access its fullest potential.
And this is a role with a lot of potential use cases! There's the obvious ones we're all thinking of, but I can imagine a few other scenarios where lying like this would make for a potent power. ...or would it? Let's confront a few questions I have, before we get into the dissection proper.
General Overview
On the surface, I would argue that the Ultimate Liar fits a typical "evidence obscuring" archetype. Many roles in KG history have attributes like this, so this isn't entirely breaking new ground.
However, I wish to propose and discuss a fairly meta question, for the sake of this discussion: what in Killing Game constitutes as a lie and a truth?
The main place you'll see the dichotomy exist is in player testimonies. Players have free rein to share whatever they want about their nights, which is in response to receiving an "objective" slate of actions they completed, as dictated by the host. This example demonstrates the main balancing act of a Killing Game: players are the vessel through which lies occur, while hosts are the relayers of truth. A host-controlled character is capable of lying, sure, but there are certain bits of information that a host provides - investigation results, night results, etc. - that are presumed, at a meta level, to be purely mechanical and honest. We discussed this a bit while talking about ARKG's Secret Player.
Okay, so what am I getting at? The Ultimate Liar tiptoes a boundary here that I'm not quite sure is clarified in the role's writing. You see, the Ultimate Liar is capable of producing "lies" that will be demonstrated to be "true" if somebody investigates them. Perhaps this seems relatively inconsequential on a small scale, but let me build up a scenario that causes much larger questions to arise.
Suppose the Ultimate Liar makes the claim that last night, they were actually capable of killing the mastermind character by using a magic weapon. When players investigate this, they do discover that the mastermind character is lying there deceased, and that the Ultimate Liar has the weapon in their inventory. Now the host needs to ask themselves: did this player actually kill the mastermind? If all of the physical, mechanical evidence in the in-game world suggests this, and the host is saying that this has happened, is it true? And if it's not, how do you communicate a contradiction to your player base? Similar scenarios arise for if the Ultimate Liar claims to have found an important lore item, or claims to have damaged an entire room of the map. The mode through which the host would present "objective" truth has become very muddied.
The point I'm really trying to drive home is that this role could use better specification at what its aims are. From a mechanical perspective, is the lie that the Ultimate Liar tells becoming "the truth"? Or, is the Liar only adding what could best be described as illusions to the map? As the example above demonstrates, this question actually matters a lot. If the lie becomes firmly the truth, then the Ultimate Liar has just successfully killed the mastermind with little buildup. The lie becoming "real" expands the power capabilities of this role to an astronomical degree, while the lie effectively acting as smoke and mirrors is much less powerful, but it remains complicated to navigate as a host.
For the sake of power discussion, I'm going to assume more of the latter point, which does limit the capabilities of this role. There's still good discussion to be had over what the Ultimate Liar is capable of in this instance, though.
I've really got to take some points out of my "lengthy preamble" branch of the skill tree.
Ability Application
Finally, we've arrived! With their almighty words, what is the Ultimate Liar capable of? Obviously, this role is going to be most aligned to obscuring information for other players, which is often paired with more cunning night actions - kill attempts chief among them. The main aspect I can see this working for is deleting a bit of evidence that you'd like to have disappear during the day phase. For instance, if you kill someone and then say "the knife on my person should be clean", then any indication that you used that knife is wiped away. It's the kind of role power that easily integrates itself into methodical kill attempts.
That said, I also think there's a world where the Ultimate Liar doesn't front-load these plans, and instead keeps the lie on standby for an emergency situation. If there's a sudden bit of investigation for a piece of evidence they weren't accounting for, they can just as easily whisk the specifics of it away.
These lies passively affecting past recall seems better-suited for a situation where a witness ended up coming across something you didn't want to be caught for. Spotted grabbing a knife in the kitchen? You were actually just cooking up a nice soufflé! There's a lot of good possibility here for undercutting any minor details while you're ahead. Often, it's memory checking another player's behavior that causes holes to open up in testimonies, so having an ability that essentially hand waves any discrepancies is a big help.
AKG2 is a game hosted before the more modern era of very lore-focused Killing Games. There were overarching secrets and puzzles, for certain, but no NPCs existed on the map, and there weren't many documents to find beyond those that contributed to the Moon Shard hunt. In the modern day, there's also some good versatility here for engaging with the game on a more narrative level. Telling a lie that gets an NPC intentionally riled up, or perhaps off your back, could be very helpful - or just plainly fun, depending on your angle!
Environmental Functionality
The Ultimate Liar could work on literally any map. Even in past sections where I've said similar, there's been at least one or two suggestions of where it should exist. The Ultimate Liar's powers work so independently of their environment that they could be slotted into any KG and function just the same, so no notes here.
Drawbacks & Balances
Now, there are a lot of balancing factors to the Ultimate Liar, both explicit and implicit. Let's start with the explicit parts.
Although it seems like you can feasibly lie about anything that could be relevant to your night, the passive changes to memory recall only happens with actions or events you specifically took part in. This means that if you lie about something completely made-up, nobody else is going to have that shared memory with you. This isn't necessarily a huge problem, as there will still be some physical evidencing in your specified location that'll gesture towards what you've claimed, but if your attempted lie hinges on others having also remembered this, there's a bit of a roadblock here.
Then there's the Forbidden Action, which... honestly is hardly a Forbidden Action, in my opinion. You can't walk back the lie you've set up, but I'm not sure in what instance you would do that anyway? Your lie already produced the physical evidence of itself, so it's not like you're walking back a baseless claim of yours. I don't know, I'd be surprised by a world where this was ever triggered.
Also worth mentioning is the fact that it's only one lie per day phase! Better make that one option count!
Next, let's look at the implicit balancing factors. The biggest issue is, at some point or another, a lie that's blatantly untrue is going to cause a discrepancy somewhere in the investigation. If you claim that you were somewhere else on the map, that's great and all, but someone's still just as likely to have seen you where you actually were. This is true of basically any lie, with plenty of other angles for approach. Sure, your knife isn't bloody... but what about your clothes, or the site of the stabbing? Of course, this kind of risk exists for any lie anybody tells in Killing Game - at some point or another, there might be a contradiction. But even when you're creating faux evidence, it's worth remembering that it's not truly a get-out-of-jail-free card.
To me, the far larger drawback is how potentially visible the Ultimate Liar is. Let's assume that you're the culprit in the case, and everyone else is starting to pin you against the wall. If you suddenly go "haha, actually, I'm completely clean of blood!" and then get body-checked... sure, the blood is gone, but there was evidence that it existed before you said your lie. I don't know about you, but if I suspected somebody of a murder, they publicly said "nah", and then suddenly that proof I was looking at vanished, I would be even more suspicious of them!
For that reason, the Ultimate Liar requires subtlety, and frankly, a bit of getting a jump on the rest of the investigation. Perhaps there are smaller details that can be improvised later on, but if your plan necessitates you establishing a lie early, it better be established early, or otherwise you're giving a larger window for your incoming lie to be sussed out. At the very least, there is the flexibility of the role power working in both testimony and discussion, allowing you to slip in your statement at a time where there isn't much focus on you.
Player Responsibility
Although the Ultimate Liar isn't a huge mechanical endeavor for the player using it, I would argue there's still a lot of responsibility in using it responsibly and correctly. Players who have more diligent eyes towards the overall shape of their schemes would be best suited for this one, though there's actually little harm in anyone being given this role. The lies they tell aren't real, after all. Unless they are, which might become a more serious issue in some players' hands. As is assumed, it's nothing gamebreaking overall.
Host Responsibility
As I walked through before, there's an odd balancing act for a host that's managing the Ultimate Liar. When does the evidence that is real counteract the evidence that isn't real? I gave some larger-scale examples before, but let's hone in on a smaller detail instead. The Ultimate Liar's lie is "I broke down a wall" when they never interacted with said wall that night. If other players investigate that wall, they'll find that it's been destroyed. Can the players walk through it? If the answer is yes, then the Ultimate Liar's lie has become a full truth. If the answer is no... do they hit an invisible barrier, video game style? Is there something else that could possibly indicate that the lie is, in fact, a lie?
To be perfectly frank, in the role's current state, I feel like there's too many potential conundrums. They're the kind of scenarios where on first pass things don't seem like too much trouble, but the more you think about hypotheticals, the more holes in the general role concept appear. My two cents are that for the Ultimate Liar to work functionally within the bounds of the "player lies, host tells the truth" framework, it kind of needs to make untrue statements true - but if that's the case, there's likely several other balancing factors that should be put in place to ensure that the Ultimate Liar can't do literally anything they want to.
To make a long analysis short, I'm not sure this role is the healthiest for Killing Game, especially on the hosting end. The Ultimate Liar is a worthwhile experiment, but might require a different oven setting to bake into something less disruptive and wishy-washy.
Overall Thoughts
The Ultimate Liar is a good example of a simple role with much more complex repercussions than one might anticipate when writing. Crafting KG roles often requires active speculation from the game designer, and thinking through scenarios to their logical extremes. Doing so helps you narrow or expand the scope of a role, to ensure that it's as you actually imagine mechanically.
Should a role like the Ultimate Liar get a second pass someday? You'd be hard-pressed to find an instance where I'd say no about any role idea. No matter what, design elements are always candidates for reiteration, and there have been other powers since that focus on conjuring items or events that otherwise would not have occurred. As-is, though, I would be lying if I said I was without my concerns.
...Or would I?
That's all for this month. Tune in next month for more Killing Game goodness!
Move Reminder
Written by: Hooded Pitohui (talk)
"I'm the Move Reminder! Bring me a Heart Scale, and I can teach you any Pokémon technique that may have been forgotten."
Mainline Pokémon RPGs have an immense amount of content for players to memorize. The individual Pokémon species, stat spreads, Abilities, distribution across routes, held item effects, berry effects and uses, Egg Groups - the list goes on! To document everything requires a list of lists of lists! Among those mammoth lists, one will find over 900 Pokémon techniques, a number which has grown so large that these techniques now disappear and reappear from game to game as Game Freak tries to maintain some degree of balance.
With so many moves shuffling around, there are bound to be a few that slip through the cracks! Sure, the average player won't forget classics like Surf or Flamethrower anytime soon, and moves like Knock Off will always remain prominent on account of their usefulness in competitive battling, but not all moves are so lucky. Who among us knows the effect of Flower Shield, a move learned by only five Pokémon prior to its removal in Scarlet and Violet? Who remembers the utility of Poltergeist, or which Pokémon even learn Spotlight? Does Ion Deluge ring a bell? Has anyone at all ever cared about Gear Up?
In this section (which may help you out with Sentient freedom's (talk) Riddle Moves in Fun Stuff), I'll highlight these underappreciated and forgotten moves. Whether they're old relics that the franchise has shed or they're young upstarts languishing in obscurity on account of their niche use cases, I'm going to cover their effects and histories, mention if they have any notable appearances outside of the core RPGs, and end off with some thoughts on if they should return or get tossed into the proverbial wastebasket.
An Overview
| Name | Category | Power | Accuracy | Description | Base PP | Debut |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Assist | 
|
-- | -- | The user hurriedly and randomly uses a move among those known by ally Pokémon. | 20 | Gen III |
Assist is a fun little move introduced all the way back in Pokémon Ruby and Pokémon Sapphire. In its debut, only Skitty could learn it through leveling up. Even Delcatty couldn't learn it without retaining it from its pre-evolution, as was the fashion at the time for stone-based evolutions. Outside of the Skitty line, only Spinda could learn Assist, and it could only do so by acquiring it from a Skitty or Delcatty as an Egg Move.
In being nearly-exclusive to Skitty, Assist was clearly set up as Generation III's answer to Metronome. Metronome and Assist both have the excitement factor of calling a random move, resulting in a surprise with each use. In Generation I, only Clefairy could learn the move by level-up (excluding the event-only, undocumented Mew). Both moves are learned by a cute and pink, somewhat rare early-game Pokémon which evolves via Moon Stone! The parallels cannot be clearer!
The key difference, of course, is that Metronome can call (almost) any move, while Assist can draw only from the moves known by other Pokémon currently in the party. For a player, this makes Assist slightly more reliable than Metronome, especially if they aren't carrying six Pokémon with them or if multiple Pokémon in their party have the same move. As a player fills their party and gains access to more varied movepools, its reliability drops because the odds it calls a particular move drop.
The release of FireRed and LeafGreen expanded the number of Pokémon that could acquire Assist as an Egg Move, and the Generation IV games went on to give it to the Glameow line as a level-up move. Prior to its removal in Sword and Shield, it continued to expand to a handful of other lines. It never grew into a widespread move, however. At its peak, Assist was available to only ten evolutionary lines (eleven if counting regional forms separately). Half of those lines (Glameow, Skitty, Espurr, Purrloin, and Meowth) are undeniably feline, and a sixth (Sneasel) has feline characteristics. That speaks to the move's Japanese name and origin.
In Japanese, the move's name is ねこのて - Cat's Paw, explaining why its animations show feline pawprints. The name comes from the Japanese idiom 猫の手も借りたい, more or less meaning "I would even borrow a cat's hands" and metaphorically referring to someone so busy that they'll take any and all help they can get. These Pokémon need help, and so call upon their party members for assistance, no matter how useful or useless that help! The move being closely associated with feline Pokémon is rooted in this cultural joke.
Non-Game Appearances
Unlike many of the moves I'll cover in this section, Assist made the jump to other Pokémon media. It only gets a minor appearance in the Pokémon Adventures manga, but it has a more prominent role in the anime series. More specifically, Assist sees regular use in the Hoenn arc of the Advanced Generation series, routinely used by May's Skitty. The series played with Assist's unpredictability, sometimes depicting it as a strength and at other times as a weakness. One episode pits Skitty against a Dusclops that it could not battle with its Normal-type attacks, forcing it to rely on Assist to turn the tide. In another episode, Assist called a poorly-timed Razor Leaf and freed a foe tied up by String Shot.
Assist was so prominent in this series that it features in the English names of two episodes! "Game Winning Assist", in which Skitty is revealed to know the move, also references the move in its Japanese title. The later episode "Deceit and Assist" centers around the character Harley tricking May into commanding Skitty to use Assist repeatedly, nearly sabotaging its performance when it calls a move that leaves it confused. These episodes highlight the heavy marketing push Assist got in its debut generation. The franchise runners clearly felt Skitty and its signature unpredictable technique had a draw to them, and it makes it that much more striking that, twenty years on, Assist has fallen so far that it isn't even included in the games these days.
Closing Thoughts
Despite its early prominence, it's not hard to understand why Assist has fallen out of favor. At the end of the day, it's nothing more than Metronome's lesser cousin. Assist isn't reliable enough to be more useful than Metronome, and restricting the pool of moves it can call necessarily means it can't measure up to Metronome's wow factor. Once FireRed and LeafGreen returned Metronome to its throne, Assist's days in the spotlight were numbered. It has no gameplay or marketing niche of its own, and, as evidenced by the various tweaks and glitches associated with it over the years, it was an extra programming headache for Game Freak.
Should it come back? Obviously, from a practical standpoint, it shouldn't. I have a soft spot for Assist, though, and from a franchise identity perspective, I would advocate for its return! To me, one of Pokémon's strengths is its willingness to embrace oddball ideas and oddly-specific jokes. To paraphrase a sentiment I've seen elsewhere, Pokémon is a monster-collecting series that considered it imperative to have monsters based on the Rafflesia flower and coconut trees before including a wolf. The designers pulled from crinoids a decade before reaching for Tyrannosaurus! Among these oddball picks are Farfetch'd, entirely designed around a Japanese idiom that most international players had no context for in a pre-Internet age, and Wobbuffet, initially named for and given the mannerisms of a Japanese comedian! I appreciate that the franchise incorporates these ideas, rather than discarding them in favor of ideas that are more standardly charismatic or more easily marketed to a global audience. It gives children a chance to puzzle out the meaning behind these design choices as they grow. As they grow older and read about these characters they like, they get to have an "aha!" moment that creates a new cross-cultural connection.
So too it is with Assist. A kid playing Pokémon is bound to wonder why Assist's animation involves cat pawprints, but years later, they'll get the joy of stumbling on its origins and learning a new saying. While I understand the decision to cut Assist, I can't help but hope it returns someday. To me, it's a cute move that captures one of the better qualities of the Pokémon franchise.
"That's all for now. If you'd like to remember another move, bring me another Heart Scale next month!"
Rising From Obscurity
Written by: Waluigi Time (talk)
Hello there, 'Shroom readers! Welcome back to Rising From Obscurity, the section about Mario characters that finally returned from an overly extended vacation. Two months in a row, whoa!! (Don't get used to it.) This time around, I'm going to be discussing the humble Galoomba.
Galoombas were introduced in Super Mario World in 1990, replacing the standard Goomba which is completely absent in the game. They were distinguished in Japan with the name "Kuribon", but apparently something about all of this was very confusing because Nintendo of America decided to just localize these guys as Goombas too, and pretty much all of the other translations followed suit. These were more resilient than the usual Goombas, as stomping them would only flip them over, allowing them to be picked up and tossed. There's also a Paragoomba equivalent, and even one that parachutes! Galoombas also made some appearances in other contemporary media including the cartoon, Super Mario Adventures, and various manga.
Despite being slightly different Goombas, more or less, they didn't just get thrown in the bin and would continue to make a handful of occasional appearances in the decade and a half that followed. And by handful, I mean I can list all those games here without making an overly long paragraph out of it - the MS-DOS version of Mario's Early Years! Preschool Fun, Mario's Game Gallery, Mario Family (is this even really a game?), the Yoshi's Cookie remake in Nintendo Puzzle Collection, and one e-Reader level in Super Mario Advance 4: Super Mario Bros. 3. You could probably be forgiven for assuming Galoomba disappeared entirely after World, since the majority of those appearances were exclusive to Japan and the others were from that weird era where Nintendo was cool with licensing Mario out to be in PC games. While not a direct appearance of Galoomba, variants also appeared in Mario Clash and Mario Party 3.
The final appearance of Galoomba in this era before riding off into the sunset was Mario Party Advance in 2005. This game featured two Galoomba characters named Goombob and Goombetty appearing in a couple of quests. Goombob himself doesn't actually have a unique name in Japan, so it's left up to interpretation if this was an early attempt at giving Galoombas a unique name in English that didn't stick, or if the localization team just wanted to give him his own identity. There's Galoombas in a Gaddget too, where they wrestle! Why are Galoombas of all things wrestling? I dunno.
After disappearing for a while afterward, Galoombas returned in 2013 with the release of Super Mario 3D World, which finally renamed them! They function pretty much the same there as in Super Mario World, except now in 3D, although they can no longer be picked up and carried and are instead instantly defeated if touched while stunned, a la Super Mario Galaxy. Also, there's a bigger variant now. That's, uh, that's about it. Look, there's only so much you can really say about a Goomba analogue, you know?
So, what have they been up to with their newfound name? Not a whole lot, I guess, but can you really expect much glory for a Goomba relative? Their next appearance was popping up in a few minigames in Mario Party 10, and they've reappeared in every subsequent game in the series to date with similar roles. They're also in the Super Mario Maker games, replacing Goombas exclusively in the Super Mario World style (and even getting their own Goombrat equivalent in the form of Goombud in Super Mario Maker 2). Their only other enemy appearance is in Paper Mario: The Origami King, which only features origami Galoombas, not regular ones. Rounding off the remaining appearances since there's so few of them, there was a Galoomba assistant in Dr. Mario World, they make a background appearance in the Super Mario Maker stage in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and Ultimate, and replace cold chickens in the Minecraft Super Mario Mash-Up Pack as of the Spring to Life update. Outside the realm of games, Galoomba was also included in the third series of LEGO Super Mario character packs.
Not exactly the flashiest rise from obscurity, but there's something to be said for just being there. I don't expect Galoombas to fall off the face of the earth again, and perhaps we'll see them branching out to having background roles in other spinoffs someday, but I can't say I would expect any major appearances for them anytime soon. There's not very much you can do with Galoombas that you couldn't also do with the much more iconic Goomba, after all.
So You Want to Romance the Three Kingdoms?
Written by: Harold Harefoot (talk)
Hello, and welcome back to So You Want to Romance the Three Kingdoms?, a step-by-step guide to reunifying China. Last month, we began our march against Dong Zhuo and conquered the war-torn city of Jin Yang. This month, we're going to restore Jin Yang before continuing our efforts against Dong Zhuo.
Step 33: Rebuilding Jin Yang
Jin Yang is currently a mess, no doubt thanks to the cruel rule of Dong Zhuo. The farm stat is only 29, which is in fact so low that it can't actually produce enough rations to support our army. If we don't do anything, we'll actually lose provisions during the harvest. No doubt this is because that greedy tyrant Dong Zhuo picked the fields clean during his rule and burnt down as many fields as he could during his cowardly retreat. The economy is better at 51, so although black market sellers and bandits thrive, we would gain a profit of 1,500 gold if we did nothing. Unsurprisingly, the spirit of this city is a dismal 27. The people don't view Lord Kong Rong as a liberator; rather, they view him with suspicion, wondering if he's just another tyrant like Dong Zhuo. If things don't change, the slightest issue could cause the people to try and rise in revolt.
I actually skipped ahead to October to see if they would revolt since we took the city in September and weren't able to gift the people provisions. Surprisingly, they didn't revolt. That's nice, because a revolt could have cost us troops that we'll need to march on Luoyang. But as October begins, distressing news comes from the west as reports come in that Liu Yan – ruler of Zi Tong, Cheng Du, and Jiang Zhuo – has passed away. Long rumored to be ill, he has been succeeded by his son, Liu Zhang. It is unknown at this time what will come of his territory, as Liu Zhang has been described as weak-willed and indecisive, which could prove a boon for Lord Kong Rong. But alas, that is a battle for another day.
A time of mourning for Liu Zhang
Back to Jin Yang, we find it just isn't a very good city. With a population of only 56,000, it's never going to be anything more than a minor feeder city in a vast empire. If you wanted, you could totally just smash its spirit up to 80 so the citizens won't rebel and then never worry about it again. But that's not what a good lord would do, so instead we're going to actually take the steps to make this city better, because for once in my life I'm trying not to get a poor ruler rating, damn it (we haven't talked about Ruler Rating yet – it's a thing, it's confounding, and we'll get into it later!).
The most important thing, though, is to get its spirit up. Luckily, because it has such a small population, that is very easy. As an example, Dong He, who has a charm of only 74, boosts the spirit from 27 to 39 when he gives out provisions. To get that spirit raised, we're going to basically have any city that has excess provisions send us some of their excess. Starting in Bei Hai, we're going to have Yuan Shang send us 3,000 barrels of provisions out of a possible 3,799, leaving Bei Hai with 799 in case somebody decides to invade for some reason. Unfortunately, part of it is stolen and we only receive about 2,200 of the 3,000 barrels. That's still plenty. We give out basically 4,000 barrels of provisions (with Lord Kong Rong personally giving out the last 1,000 barrels) and we're already at 73 spirit. As for city development, we only have 800 gold after giving out some rewards.
Since we only have three months until tax season, we're going to put 500 gold just in farming, because that's what this city is in need of most. Lord Kong Rong will personally be attending to this alongside Tian Feng.
That's all we're going to do in Jin Yang this month, so next we're going to check our "City" tab. This month, we had a lot of cities run out of money to develop various things. When that happens, you just wanna go ahead and check 'em out see if you have any money you can move around to keep everything in business. If you aren't great at keeping track, the ones that have run out of money are the ones that look broken on the city map. Now, the last thing we're gonna do is head to Ping Yuan, where we've gotten reports that training has concluded. Looking at the results, we're only at 88 train, so there's no real reason not to do another four-month training session just to get the soldiers to 100. We're going to have Zhao Yun and Zhang He start another four-month training session.
Nothing really happens between October and November outside of the cold winds blowing. The training in Nan Pi finishes with our soldiers there at 90 train. We'll go ahead and set another three-month training session to synch them up with Ping Yuan, this time led by Yan Liang and Zhang Yan. Back in Jin Yang, we're also going to start a training session, with this one lasting six months and being led by Tian Feng and Taishi Ci. Except maybe this time we'll actually stick to it!
We also attempt to clear out the dungeons, but, sadly, we get no takers. Even a personal visit from Lord Kong Rong can't sway anybody. However, there is one person we will not be attempting to recruit. That is Dong Zhuo's personal advisor Li Ru. While Li Ru might be a skilled officer who rose the ranks to be the personal advisor to Dong Zhuo, seeing the destruction of Dong Zhuo firsthand has made Lord Kong Rong decide he doesn't want Li Ru in his ranks. There are many of those in Jin Yang and even in the administration of Lord Kong Rong who feel Li Ru should be executed as a proxy for Dong Zhuo's crimes and for his role in advising them, since, as Dong Zhuo's personal advisor, Li Ru is more guilty of the crimes than any other official in Dong Zhuo's court. However, Lord Kong Rong has decided to be merciful since he cannot fairly ascertain what role Li Ru's advice played in the destruction of Jin Yang as opposed to what part of it was simply the madness of Dong Zhuo. Instead, Lord Kong Rong has decided that the former advisor will remain imprisoned in Jin Yang so that he may watch the city he once helped terrorize grow strong and prosperous.
We don't actually do anything else in November, and we really don't do anything in December, either. We actually manage to clear out a little bit of the dungeons as Zhang Xiu is successful at recruiting Huangfu Song, who I'm surprised resisted so long! He wasn't even very loyal to Dong Zhuo! But with that, we're ready to end December (where nothing else happens) and bring in the new year of 194!
Step 34: Breaking the Ye-Pu Yang Alliance
The new year starts how a lot of new years start – with everybody in every city reporting they've run out of money! That's perfect because taxes are innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! So we can go ahead and just replenish everyone's developments with the taxesssssssssssssss!
In Jin Yang specifically, we're going to go ahead and bump the farming budget up to 1,000 gold and give Yang Biao and Guan Yu 500 gold to work on the economy (which basically wipes Jin Yang out of gold). In Ping Yuan, we're going to have Zhang Hong and Zhang Fei start working on developing new tech. Now, it might be a mistake to have the drunken warrior Zhang Fei be around all these new experimental technologies, but I guess we'll see!
In more exciting news, there's a free officer in Nan Pi! Xingdao Rong has been spotted! Now, his stats are actually quite bad, with low charm, low lead, and mediocre power. The only skill he has is taunt, which is crazy! Like, imagine putting everything in taunting people.
Wow, look at this guy!
The most filler officer of all filler officers!
We don't really need him, but I want him. We're collecting officers and I want him! Luckily, we get him as Chen Lin convinces him to join us! We're going to immediately put him to work with Yan Liang working on dams in Nan Pi, which is probably going to be a disaster since their stats for this are both in the 20s, but, hey, slow progress is some progress!
It's also time to send out a few more spies, so Yang Biao is going to infiltrate the Yong territory for six months, Huangfu Song will be sent on his own infiltration mission for six months, and finally Chen Zhen will infiltrate Yu territory for six months. This way we know where our enemies will stand by the end of our trainings. Lastly, we attempt a couple of recruitments in Jin Yang, but it doesn't work – shocker!
Now it's time to play a little sleight of hand game with our troops. You see, Nan Pi, Bei Hai, and Ping Yuan all have forces with 100 train, the max you can have. We'd like to maximize our train levels after recruitments, so we need to rearrange. We're going to have Gu Yong in Nan Pi bring the entire force (as well as 1,000 gold and 3,000 provisions) to Ping Yuan. Next, Wen Chou in Bei Hai will bring the entire force of Bei Hai (88,000 strong) to Ping Yuan. Finally, we have Han Sui (or any general, really) draft the full force we can draft – in this case, 57,000 troops. After all that, our troop train level only drops to 87, whereas if we had just drafted 57,000 without all that consolidating, our train would have dropped all the way to 72. Any time you can quickly consolidate a large army of super well-trained soldiers, you're gonna want to do that before you draft new troops. The training stat of a larger and better-trained army will drop less than a smaller army's when you bring in fresh recruits. Now that we've got 397,000 troops in Ping Yuan, we'll go ahead and send 97,000 of them back to Bei Hai under the leadership of Jian Yong. We won't be returning any troops to Nan Pi, because we don't need to. They don't have any enemies on their borders. But we will have Nan Pi draft 63,000 soldiers, who will quite frankly be mostly useless, but that's okay because they mainly exist to bolster up the defenses of Bei Hai.
That's all we do in February. As the winter ends and spring begins, Gongsun Zan appears again to beg for scraps. This time, he comes to Dai Xian. We don't have any money, so we send him packing again.
March itself gets off to a great start as a personal visit from Lord Kong Rong convinces the Marshal Xu Huang to come into the service of Lord Kong Rong. Simultaneously, Zhang Xiu manages to convince Cai Yong that he can regain the honor he lost in his attempt to flee the siege of Jin Yang by helping Lord Kong Rong reunify China! Despite being in a dungeon for the last three months, they both have remarkably high loyalty, with Xu Huang having 88 and Cai Yong having 83. I don't really understand how the loyalty system works; when we recruited Guan Yu from jail, his loyalty was in the 60s!
Regardless, we're gonna keep the March hot streak going by breaking the Ye-Pu Yang Alliance! If you'll remember from last month, Han Fu of Ye and Qiao Mao of Pu Yang formed an alliance which could in theory spell trouble for us. Both cities sit on the border of Ping Yuan, which means that if they ever got their acts together, they could really threaten our ability to advance from Ping Yuan. Because of that, we're going to go ahead and break the alliance before they get a chance to really threaten us. But the question is, which one should we invade? When we look at the numbers, we see that Pu Yang is the easier target, having only 33,000 soldiers and, Jesus, a 9 in economy??? We'd be doing the people a favor if we invaded! Ye has 77,000 soldiers, in comparison. There's a little more at play then just numbers, however. If we conquer Ye, we'll link our empire up with Jin Yang, giving us easier access to Jin Yang for sending troops and men. Conquering Ye also means that our forces could send a relief force if Dong Zhuo or anybody else ever tried to invade Jin Yang. With these factors in mind, although Ye is nominally a tougher opponent, we're going to invade Ye.
For this battle, we're only going to send in Zhang He and Zhang Fei with each commanding 125,000 soldiers – all infantry – since I have no way of knowing how Han Fu will deploy his troops. We'll leave 50,000 soldiers to defend Ping Yuan just to be safe. Zhang He will take overall control of the troops, who will be provided 1,000 gold and 3,000 barrels of provisions. Apparently Dong Zhuo and Han Fu had an alliance, which I don't think I knew about. Intercepted messages signal that Han Fu attempted to ask Dong Zhuo for aid – aid which that craven Dong Zhuo refused to send, which doesn't surprise me. Anybody that thinks Dong Zhuo would keep his word is a fool.
You can't trust Dong Zhuo!
Unsurprisingly, Han Fu has decided to force us to lay siege to his castle. Somewhat surprisingly, though, he only deployed two units! That's really good for us because he has no way to block our ladders since we'll have Zhang He coming from the left and Zhang Fei coming from the right.
This battle turns out weird. While Zhang He and Zhang Fei are scaling the walls, Han Fu decides to try and follow Zhang He down the ladder, an action which results in Zhang He and Han Fu both winding up on the ground below the castle. While this happens, Zhang Fei manages to scale the wall, but not before getting hit by one of Xun Yu's boulders. "Boulder" is one of the skills an officer can have. If that officer has that skill, then during a siege they can drop a boulder on a unit scaling a ladder for massive damage.
I believe each officer can only use it once per battle, but it does do a lot of damage! In this case, Zhang Fei lost 26,000 men! Unfortunately, I believe both Han Fu and Xun Yu have the boulder skill, so there wasn't any way to avoid getting hit by one this time. Anyways, Zhang Fei and Xun Yu end up fighting on top of the castle. With a mighty charge, Zhang Fei manages to shatter Xun Yu's forces and captures Xun Yu, Pan Feng, and Fu Gan. From there, I attempt to corner Han Fu to deliver a killing blow to his forces. Sadly, before I can fully corner him, he flees on the thirteenth turn. This caught me off guard because I didn't realize there was an unoccupied city to which he could flee.
Overall, this victory was something of a mixed bag. We didn't really destroy the Ye-Pu Yang alliance, but we did successfully link up our empire and we can now send a reinforcement force into Luoyang when we attack them! We also took three prisoners!
Fu Gan: A young general, only 21 years of age, he was captured during the destruction of Xun Yu's unit. Although not particularly loyal to Han Fu, his romanticized view of the world (a product of his youth) led him to refuse to betray his lord by joining our army. A few months in a cell will undoubtedly show him the harsh reality of this world.
Pan Feng: A more experienced soldier than Fu Gan, he was also captured during Zhang Fei's charge against Xun Yu. While generally more loyal to Han Fu than Fu Gan was, his greater experience allowed him to face facts and to recognize that Han Fu couldn't match up to Lord Kong Rong's might. Rather than continue to support a losing cause, Pan Feng agreed to lend his sword to Lord Kong Rong's cause.
Xun Yu: The personal advisor to Han Fu, he was perhaps misplaced as leader of his own unit. After being captured, he was offered a chance to resume his position as advisor, this time in the service of Marshal Zhang He. Perhaps unsurprisingly, he refused to take the role, considering it a mockery of his honor. He is currently sitting in a cell until he changes his mind.
Step 35: Liberating Luoyang
Luckily for us, Han Fu was a proper lord in a bad circumstance and Ye, unlike Jin Yang, is actually in quite the good position. While Ye has a low population, it has pretty high stats with 123 in farm, 56, in dam, and 74 in economy. This little city will be quite profitable. Unfortunately, we don't actually have any officers currently in Ye who can recruit, so we're going to send Cai Yong from Jin Yang into Ye so that we can work on recruiting the prisoners. Because the farm in Ye is so high, we're going to give 500 gold to Zhang He and Pan Feng to improve the economy in Ye. That's all we're going to do in the month of April, as we now move ahead to the month of May, a month that will surely go down as one of the era's most important months, for this is the month we liberate Luoyang, driving a stake into the heart of Dong Zhuo's power and hopefully rescuing the young emperor!
But… before that… We do have to handle one tiny, minor issue. We, uh, don't have any food in Jin Yang, and apparently soldiers need food to live! Because the harvest is so soon and because our armies everywhere else are sufficiently strong that I don't believe anyone will invade us for the next two months, I used the "send" command to send all excess food from Nan Pi, Ping Yuan, Bei Hai, and Xian Ping to Jin Yang, which allowed us to cobble together a little more than 2,000 barrels of provisions. That should be enough for us to successfully siege Luoyang!
For this battle, we'll be sending in the full force of Jin Yang – all 217,000 soldiers split into three columns. The first 100,000 men will be under the command of Guan Yu, who will be backed up by Xu Huang. The next 75,000 men will be commanded by the fierce Hua Xiong, with Dong Heng backing him up secretly to make sure Hua Xiong's forces remain loyal. Finally, Lord Kong Rong himself will command 42,000 soldiers, with Taishi Ci accompanying him as his personal bodyguard.
In addition, orders have been sent to the city of Ye that Zhang Fei is to march with 100,000 soldiers at his back to act as a relief force against Dong Zhuo. As thanks for his years of loyal service, the veteran soldier and personal friend of Lord Kong Rong, Wu Anguo, who was personally wounded in the liberation of Jin Yang from Dong Zhuo, has been awarded the title Governor of Jin Yang in Lord Kong Rong's absence. We can think of no man better for the task!
Unfortunately for us, it seems that Dong Zhuo has fled Luoyang before we could arrive, leaving the force under the command of his younger brother Dong Min. Dong Min spread his 90,000-strong force into four units, with three of them being infantry and only one of them being an archery group. The archery group immediately fires upon Lord Kong Rong's forces, killing 1,000 men, which is insane! Dong Min's forces, correctly realizing that Guan Yu is the most dangerous of the units since he has the largest army, coordinate primarily on the right side of the castle to block all the spaces that Guan Yu could use to get up to the castle. This happens quite a bit, especially when enemy forces deploy this many units. They'll do everything in their power to stop you from climbing the castle; in this case, they put three units in front of Guan Yu, meaning that he couldn't successfully breach the walls.
They weren't, however, able to block Hua Xiong from climbing up the other side. After a few turns, he manages to come face-to-face with the archery unit led by Guo Si. A successful charge shatters the unit and we successfully capture Dong Cheng (no relation to Dong Zhuo) and Guo Si. This causes the other units under Dong Min's command to scatter, allowing Guan Yu to successfully scale the walls as Zhang Fei's relief unit arrives. Relief units have a different turn than your personal units; they go after both your turn and the enemy's turn. This can lead to tricky things. Say you're one charge away from annihilating the enemy, but instead of one of your personal units being next to the enemy, it's the relief unit. The enemy will get a chance to flee before you can land the killing blow. As you can see, you really need to pay attention to how your relief units and personal units are placed if your enemy has another city to which he can flee.
Guan Yu scaling the wall leads to that annoying Jia Xue (alongside his subordinate Wang Yun) fleeing. On the next turn, Zhang Ji, Li Su, and their 7,000 soldiers decide to try and fight Guan Yu and his 100,000 soldiers for some reason. Uh, didn't work! One charge from Guan Yu destroyed them and now they're both in chains. Finally, I tried to take out Dong Min's forces completely, but he unsurprisingly decided to flee before I could land the killing blow. Surprisingly, I actually managed to capture Dong Min anyways, even as his subordinates (Chen Zhou and Xu Jing) fled!
With that, we have secured a crushing victory, securing Luoyang and capturing Dong Zhuo's own brother! But sadly, we were not able to find the emperor. It appears that Dong Zhuo spirited him away when he himself fled (he's also just not in this game for some reason!) After this crushing victory, we have five new prisoners!
Guo Si: A general long in the service of Dong Zhuo, who was alleged to have been a horse thief before making his way into the tyrant's ranks. He is said to be