User:A. User
Introduction
This is the fourth reincarnation of Lario/Mr. Guy. That makes me one of the older users on this Wiki, although this account has been around since 2009 (I've been around since 2007). There's not much I may do, now, but I'll just search random articles for the darnedest mistakes. I'll also add on very trivial information to articles, but you shouldn't undo that- it's harmless. In other words, I'll be trolling by merely adding a few more letters to an article. They are actually relevant, though, and give off a little more detail. Besides that, I'm very active in the forums.
This user page is gonna be under some serious construction. I just want that old feel back... Just look at this for example! Those were the glory days...
Pages I've made
Previous accounts
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This account
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Story one
Hello new friend, my name is Fred the words you hear are in my head. I say, I said my name is Fred, and I've been... very naughty.
The story I'm about to tell, I tell you, I will tell you well, Is of my dear aunt Muriel, and just how I've been... naughty.
Voila the farm. My aunt lives here, with precious pup, and husband dear. My heart beats fast as I drew near, I feel so nice... and naughty.
I thought just how excited they,
must be that I would come today,
they'd shout "come Fred! huzzah! hooray!
Dear boy you look so... naughty."
That's when my tired eyes beheld, a doggy dog, like dog, he smelled, D-O-G, is what he spelled, and that's how I spell... naughty.
Alone was I, with tender Courage, and all his fur, his furry furrage, which, I say, did encourage, me, to be... quite naughty.
Courage... your hair... it reminds me of the first time I knew just how, I felt, about hair.
It was a day, I'd not forget, the day that I first met my pet, oh what a lovely gift to get, I'd never felt so... naughty.
My fuzzy friend, is what he was, this darling little ball of fuzz, And oh, such fuzz, such fuzz, it does, demand, that I... be naughty.
He looked at me, his fetching eyes, and fetching fur did hypnotize, and filled with joy, and filled with sighs, and that's when I got... naughty.
Now, now... you shouldn't play in the toilet.
This dripping hair, this droopy curl,
unfold sweet memories of a girl,
whose tresses, oh, they'd twist and twirl,
and tempt me to be... naughty.
Barbara, my love was named, and her fair hair, a mane untamed, until one evening, I'm ashamed, I got a little... naughty.
The look upon my young love's face, was sweet as lace, but in this case, I realized she... needed space.
I never more was naughty... well... maybe not never.
Dear cur, your fur and fleece remind, of nothing found in human kind, but for one fellow who did find, me, to be... in a certain mood.
Into my shop, he walked one day, with bush above, and beard bouquet, that's no toupee I pray, no way, I could help but be... you know.
I'd never seen such hair before, his bangs they sang, his neck it beckoned, eyebrows, armpits, all were reckoned, soon I figured what the heck and, guess how I was... naughty.
Sweet pooch, afraid I'll shave your tail? Why now, that would be weird!
So ends our little story.
But then my landlords did resume, to free me from that porcelain tomb, and ferry to a private room, your hero, ever doughty.
Good-bye dear aunt, I'll miss your farm, and Eustace's ebullient charm, and farewell Courage, what's the harm, if I was slightly... naughty.
With love, Fred
You know you want to listen to this
Second Story
(I found this on /x/, contains some bad words)
"Ok, so here's the deal /x/. Quick backstory; I live around 15 miles out of a shitty town, in a town populated just under 500. There's woods surrounding the back of my house, a big ass pasture to the left, and an open field to the right while my house just sits smack dab in the middle of it. I've only got around three neighbors, all of them on the other side of a narrow road. Now here comes the story:
I've got a friend staying with me who's been going through a lot of shit, and he's been smoking a lot more. Anyway, he goes out while I lurk around some more, and comes in about five minutes later with a scared as shit look on his face. He asks me if there's any injured dogs out here, and I just look at him like 'what kind of question is that?' He then proceeds to tell me what he saw. According to him, it was a pure white, three legged dog. A little bit bigger than a blue heeler, but had a long, pencil thin neck. Of course, I think it's the stress that's gotten to him, so I go outside to debunk it as such. Upon going outside, I look to the pen where my goats are, and see them standing stiffly next to one another, scared shitless and staring to the side of their pen where a dense overgrowth is. (I'll provide pics of said area tomorrow, it's still dark here)
Now, it's pitch fucking black in this corner, devoid of all light. But I swear to god, the sound it made. It was like mixing the world's most pissed off horse with a rabid dog and nails on a chalk board, then a loud ass bang comes onto the metal shed that's hidden there. We proceed to NOPENOPE all the way back to the house where we sat, just freaking out over what it could be for the next half hour.
My dog starts flipping her shit, running around the house and huddling next to me, and my friend, being the compulsive smoker he is, really needs to go out and smoke. So, despite our better judgement, we go outside with the dog leashed and ready to go. My dog's hair stands straight up, looking directly to where we heard the bang, and just fucking stares. She wouldn't move, her feet were planted. We both lean in some, and see it's face. Despite the dim lighting of our security light, we saw it.
It looked like fox in the face, except it had thick whiskers, these huge, black eyes that covered the entire area and a long, narrow snout with red around it. Just pacing back and forth at the tree line, bobbing its head up and down and staring at us like it wanted us to make some sort of move on it, and it makes that fucking growl again and my dog starts flipping her shit, barking and snarling at it. Friend picks her up and we NOPE our way back in doors.
The dogs calmed down a bit, but she's sitting by the door, just staring out at the trees. I've locked the doors, but I feel pretty uneasy.
Despite our better judgement, my friend plans to go and look for this thing tomorrow night with my brother and I, so I have to ask you, what should we do? What should we bring? I'm in no way shitting you, /x/, there's something out in these fucking woods."
