The 'Shroom:Issue XXV/Fake News

Fake News

Hail Ralphfan!

Fake TV

by Ralphfan (talk)

Match Game

Thanks to everyone who signed up for the Match Game! You will all be receiving updates, about two a week. You will all be given questions via your talk page and the forum (I'm posting it on both just in case). Private message me (on the forum) your answers by May 1st at 20:00 GMT (8 PM; just add or subtract the difference with your time zone). Do not give the answers to talk page; other contestants or the judges could see them and use them for cheating.

Ralphfan>>My yap

Contestants

Our contestants are:

1. Yoshi Boo 118 (talk)
2. Pink Boozooka (talk)

Judges

Our judges are:

1. Ralphfan (talk)
2. Hyper Guy (talk)
3. Luigifreak (talk)
4. Tucayo (talk)
5. Tanokki (talk)

Backups

Our backups are:

1. Paper Jorge (talk)
2. Stooben Rooben (talk)

Star Cup

The Star Cup's continuation date has been set to June 28th; stadium repairs are taking a long time (like you could do them faster!). We thank you for your patience.

Fake Games

by Ralphfan (talk)

1. Mario Figure Skating (Rated E): Mario and Co.'s newest sport? Figure skating! In this crazy game, your favorite Mario characters participate in singles and doubles (gender-regardless; you could have Bowser skate with Wario (it's possible, watch "Blades of Glory"!)). Use items like Mushrooms to enhance your skaters (they're NOT steroids!) and throw items such as Bob-ombs, shells, and banana peels to mess up your opponents.
2. Call of Duty 6: Mushroom Army vs. Koopa Troop (Rated M): The Mushroom Kingdom is under attack like never before: mercenaries are trying to kill everyone! Play as either side, or control one army and try to slaughter your friends over wi-fi!

Travel Guide

by Ralphfan (talk)

Are pineapples your favorite food? Do you like man-eating plants everywhere? If so, Isle Delfino is for you! Plus, you can get covered in goop and fight a giant squid! So, come to Isle Delfino with a 20% off travel pack from Noki Travel Agency today!

Fake Music

by Ralphfan (talk)

The hit country group, The Buzzy 5 are at it again! Their new single, Achy Breaky Shell, came out on Saturday, April 11th and is getting great reviews. Egg & Roeper said, "Whoever said country music is only for rednecks is downright wrong! Yippee-ai-addy-ai-ay!" Buy it at Koopa Records, but they're selling fast!

Obituaries

by Ralphfan (talk)

Swiggler died on Thursday, April 9th. His vim supply was stolen by homeless Toads, causing his death. While his death is a tragedy to some, it is making for great advances in Vimology. This is because it was previously believed that only Toads needed vim to survive.

Cooking Guide

by Ralphfan (talk)

Today, Dyllis will be teaching how to make a Dyllis Deluxe! Take it away, Dyllis!

You vill need:

• Vun Life Shroom
• Vun Golden Leaf (you could use other ingredients but these cost the least)
• Two Power Steaks
• Vun grill (at least 15" in diameter)
• Vun food processor

1. Put grill on medium high.
2. Grind up Golden Leaf in food processor.
3. Sprinkle the leaf on top of the Life Shroom and grill for fifteen minutes to make a Shroom Steak.
4. Grill a Power Steak for twelve minutes to make a Hamburger.
5. Grill the Hamburger on top of the other Power Steak to get a Gorgeous Steak. You can stop here because the Shroom Steak replenishes 70 HP and the Gorgeous Steak 25, so you can actually revive more HP than you could with a Dyllis Deluxe.
6. Grill the Shroom Steak and Gorgeous Steak together for twenty minutes to get a Dyllis Deluxe! Restores 90 HP!

Interview

by Ralphfan (talk)

Today we interview Toadsworth!

Ralphfan: First question: Not trying to be rude, but how old are you?

Toadsworth: Eh wot? Pip-pip! Well, if you must know, I'm 73 years, 231 days, 7 hours, 16 minutes, and 40 seconds at the tone. Beep!

Ralphfan: Do you consider yourself responsible for all of the Toads?

Toadsworth: Oh yes, I won't let anything happen to my darling little lambs.

An explosion is heard in the direction of Toad Town.

Ralphfan: I think that was Toad Town.

Toadsworth: So?

Ralphfan: Toads live there!

Toadsworth: What's a Toad?

Ralphfan: You have Alzheimer's!

Toadsworth: Where am I? What year is this? Did we win the Civil War?

FIN

Fake Sports

by Ralphfan (talk)

As you can see above, the Star Cup is under delay due to the Battle Dome's current state (it was hit by a tornado). Plus, there's real sports on (like the NHL playoffs which start on the 15th)!

Weather

by Ralphfan (talk)

The fight against global cooling is going well! Carbon emissions are up 15% from the last month!

FIGHT GLOBAL COOLING! NOW!