Fake News

Fake News Team


Local News

ForeverDaisy09 with the mystery brown-haired girl.

Celebrity Crush?

ForeverDaisy09, a user known for working on the Daisy articles, was seen last weekend with an unidentified brown-haired girl. The brown-haired girl was described as a girl with brown hair. She was seen wearing an orange dress, similar to the color of ForeverDaisy09's shirt and hat. Where the two went is unknown, but Fake News reporters are currently looking for more info on the too-secretive-for-our-liking couple.

Return of a Legend

Xzelion, a former Sysop and Bureaucrat of the MarioWiki, has come back to the site after several months of retirement. He is once more an active editor and is currently part of the Fake News. Many users are excited about the return of Xzelion. Other users merely complain to him about issues on Userpedia. Reporters interviewed one user.

Fake News: Why are you disturbing Xzelion with issues about Userpedia?

???: Because, I was blocked from there and I think it is unfair.

Fake News: Well, why don't you discuss those issues with him on Userpedia? Oh, wait: you can't! Naa-na-na-naaa-na!

??????: *sob*

Next month we will cover such issues as global warning and that strange masked man.

Obituaries

By: Stooben Rooben

Bowser Jr. – (2002 - 2008)

Artwork of Bowser Jr. in New Super Mario Bros.
Bowser Jr. in the prime of childhood.

Bowser Jr., a whiny, devious koopa, (who happens to be Bowser's son), died last night from a brain aneurysm. It was reported that Bowser Jr. repeatedly begged his father for the last piece of Mousse Cake. After Bowser repeatedly said "no", Bowser Jr. pulled a hissy-fit; he screamed so loud that he had an aneurysm. Bowser showed little care merely saying "He's just another Koopaling. I've got plenty of others!" Bowser then kidnapped Fake News reporters. Their status is currently unknown.

Cooking Guide

By: Yoshster

Yoshster: Okay guys: today we are here with Rougeport's master chef, Zess T.

Zess T.: Yes, and you're lucky you didn't step on my contacts, or else I wouldn't have cooked anything for you.

Yoshster: Um, okaaaaayyy... Well, anyway, today we are going to make Spicy Soup.

Spicy Soup - Serves 3

Ingredients:

  • 3 Fire Flowers or 1 Fire Burst
  • 3 Tablespoons of Black Pepper
  • 2 Jalapeños
  • 1 Packet of vegetable stock mixed with vegetables
  • 3 Tomatoes

RECIPE:

  1. Slice the tomatoes and in a blender, blend them together with the Jalapeños.
  2. Next, boil water and then slowly add in the packet of vegetable stock; turn down the temperature and let it simmer.
  3. Then, add in the tomato and Jalapeño mixture, pick off the petals of the fire flower and add it in the soup. In the case of the fire burst, just drop it in.
  4. Then, leave it for 5 minutes, simmering and finally sprinkle the black pepper over it. VIOLA! You now have Spicy Soup.

Yoshster: And that's it for this report. See ya next month

Fake TV

By: Glitchman

Mario & Luigi: Partners in Crime

The smash hit of the Summer, ‘’Mario & Luigi: Partners in Crime’’ will debut next moth on the S.P.A.M. channel. The show is already internationally acclaimed, and Elbert and Rocker gave the show “Two Thumbs Up!!” The show stars the infamous plumbers-turned-criminals Mario and Luigi, who have turned to a career of robbing prestigious banks across the world, while cleverly covering up any evidence of their doing so. They become millionaires literally overnight, and sometime during the first season it has been revealed that they will kidnap Princess Peach for ransom money. Much to the delight of viewers, HyperToad will appear in the show as a main character, driving the getaway car. However, the show has been rated TV-14, much to the dismay of overprotective parents, because of intense violence and disturbing shooting scenes when HyperToad tries to get the police off his tail. But besides this, educated people will be interested to know that when Mario and Luigi try to talk to each other when the police are around, they speak Italian so the police can’t understand them!! But uneducated people will be relieved to know that what it means in English will be subtitled on the bottom of the screen. Sooo, if all that wasn’t enough to entertain you, stop watching daytime television!! Tune in next month for the first season offfff….Mario & Luigi: Partners in Crime!!

Bet on This

One of the most anticipate TV movies of the year, Bet on This aired last week on the ABD channel. The cast has been celebrated worldwide, featuring an unheard of amount of famous users like Xzelion (known as Great Gonzo in this show), 3Dejong, Master Crash, Stooben Rooben, InfectedShroom, and WarioLoaf. The premise of the show takes place in Vegas, where professional gamblers make a living off being card sharks. This show features in great detail the lives of gamblers, and can be thought of as a tutorial in how to cheat at Poker and Blackjack. Despite having many famous users and a budget of $999,999,999, the show received poor reviews. Elbert and Rocker gave the movie a 5 out of 10, for “A slow plot, dry humor and horrible special effects.” Despite these discouraging reviews, the director of the show, Grate Guy, has stated that he would like to do a sequel of the movie, which has a tentative-title of ‘’We’re All in this To Get Her’’. The damsel in distress of this upcoming sequel has yet to be revealed. Tune in next time on the ABD channel to find out more!!

Travel Guide

Pack a parka!

By: Stumpers

Looking to beat the heat this summer season? Look no further than your local friendly neighborhood Warp House! If you live in the Beanbean Kingdom, you'll find a convenient link between the Warp Pipe in Beanbean Castle Town and the legendary Joke's End, where you can camp out for absolutely free! Because the icy fortress is a popular location for bad jokes to go to die, you'll find yourself surrounded with the best rotting, flat punchlines ever! Of course, just because it's a graveyard doesn't mean the only thing to do is rest in peace... you can also hang with the more lively natives, such as Jojora and her many identical friends!

At Joke's End, you can also take in the breathtaking views of the northern seas alongside a famous, yet unnamed meteorologist studies the strange updrafts that occur in the region. You can talk and talk to him for hours and he always says the same thing. Incredible! Joke's End is a whopping five stories high, so finding appropriate camping grounds should not be a problem. Vats of delicious soup can be found throughout the complex, heated by the occasional Firebrand-using plumber.

Speaking of, there are plenty of opportunities for adventuring and battling, as some of the more primitive natives show their affection by attempting to kill guests. Not to worry, though. By this point in the game of life your EXP should be high enough that you can take them... right? Still, bring a Mushroom or two along in your suitcase, and no children under Level 30. Unless of course they're riding on your back wielding hammers. That's different.

Yes, at Joke's End you will be surrounded by a feeling of dread and despair, but it's a wonderful place to contemplate the meaning of life and the hopelessness of it all... when will your credits begin rolling?! Is it too late to go back and finish that one sidequest?! As the suffering and dying jokes can tell you, enjoy your life now! Go on sidequest vacation NOW before some freak comes over talking about sandwiches and mustard and zaps you with his headgear. It's not as far-fetched of a situation as you might think. So, pack your bags with plenty of warm, identical pairs of trousers and undershirts, because you'll need it to survive the harsh, yet somehow fulfilling cold of the icy palace and emerge a more satisfied, fulfilled human or Bean.

Wanted Poster

By: Xzelion

f_BowserWantem_887ffe0.jpg