The 'Shroom:Issue LXII/Interview
Oh wow, it's that time of the month again? No, not that time of the month, you gutter-brains... Time for another interview! Hosted by none other than me! (Because no one else would do it.) I guess the first thing I should note is that this may be my wackiest interview yet. So, don't go in expecting a ton of serious conversation...but don't prepare for top-notch humor, either. Do I look like a comedian to you?
The Target
This month, I thought I'd take a break from reminiscing with some oldsters around the community, and hit up some newer blood. At first, I considered interviewing a guest, since there is no newer blood than that...but then I realized my horrendous line of questioning would result in scaring off a new member. So, I opted for someone a bit older...but still pretty new: Smasher.
Anyone who knows Smasher, knows that he's a beloved icon on our forums nowadays. In a little over one-year's membership, he's accumulated more posts and friends on the forum than anyone I've ever seen. His post count is almost as large as the state he hails from, Texas. His list of friends might be even larger, I honestly have no idea.
On the wiki, Smasher is a semi-frequent editor, mostly taking care of maintenance work, as well as voting on a large amount of proposals. He is also a #mwchat Operator, a position he earned very early into his membership, I might add. I would say more about that, but unfortunately, I don't go on chat much these days. Smasher has also taken up a large amount of responsibilities in this years' Anniversary preparations. He helps keep track of award documentation, help keep the awards chatroom civil and on-topic during meetings, as well as keeping track of all the votes that happen during each meeting (which...is a lot more tedious and important than it sounds, trust me). In addition to all that, Smasher will also be helping prepare and manage some events being coordinated around the Awards Ceremony. ...But you'll have to wait until then to find out what!
Oh, and I almost forgot: He's recently been appointed the new Music & Art Director for The 'Shroom. Give 'im a round of applause, folks! I'm certain he'll do a fine job.
The Interview
Me: I have come to claim YOUR SOUL.
Me: Do you accept?
Smasher: no
*Smasher shoots Stooby*
*Stooben dies*
*Smasher dances*
*Stooben cancels the interview in place of his own funeral*
*Smasher unshoots Stooby*
*Stooben undies*
Smasher: undies
Me: oh god what lol
Smasher: couldn't resist :p
Me: what did you make me dooo
*Smasher laughs*
*Stooben shoots Smasher*
*Smasher dies*
*Smasher gets interviewed from beyond the grave*
Me: The long distance bill is going to kill the producers.
Smasher: TOO BAD.
Me: I'm going to be the only one left soon. :(
Me: Wait, if you're dead, does that mean I can have your sunglasses?
Smasher: No.
Me: Aw.
Me: I'm assuming you're ready to be tortu—er, interviewed now?
Smasher: sure
Smasher: wait
*Stooben waits*
Smasher: FIRST I MUST GET READY TO DO SOMETHING THAT I NEVER DO ON CHAT
Me: THIS SOUNDS EXCITING!
Me: MAY I DOCUMENT IT?
*Smasher begins capitalizing proper nouns and using periods.*
Smasher: Okay.
Me: That was a shock.
Me: Alright, folks, it's time for another interview. This time, I'll be interviewing everyone's favorite person to draw.
Me: No, not Rose from Titanic. Smasher!
*Smasher waves*
Me: And no tomatoes were thrown on this day.
*Smasher gets hit by a tomato*
Me: WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!
Me: Should I call security?
Smasher: Maybe.
Me: Well, then. I guess I'll get the ball rolling with the basics. When did you join the wiki, and how did you run across it?
Smasher: Uh, if I remember correctly, I joined on September 9th, 2010.
Smasher: And I think I found the site while looking for info on Warioware D.I.Y..
Me: WarioWare D.I.Y.... I think I remember when that game first came out. I think Garlic Man edited that page like crazy.
Me: So you've been here closing in on two years. Not bad.
Me: Do you remember who your first friend was?
Smasher: Mario Fan 123, who I no longer like much. :P
Smasher: I think MCD was my first friend who I'm actually still friends with.
Smasher: oh wait why did i say that
Smasher: I HATE MCD GO AWAY YOU CRAZY—
*Smasher is hit by another tomato*
Me: ...
Me: SECURITY!
Me: Get that Heinz-chucker out of here.
Me: Also, about MCD, you just can't resist his British charm, can you?
*Smasher slaps Stooby*
Me: I deserved that.
Me: I may deserve another one after this question:
Me: Tell me...would you consume green scones and tea with your pal MCD?
*Smasher slaps Stooby again*
*Stooben throws a tomato at Smasher*
*Smasher falls out of his chai*
Smasher: r
Smasher: Chair.
Me: Chai.
Me: So, you would drink chai, not tea.
Me: Got it.
*Smasher slaps Stooby a third time*
Me: I can'th feel my fayshe...
Smasher: :)
Me: :(
Smasher: :D
Me: I will throw a tomato orchard at you.
Smasher: :(
Me: So, um...you're clearly a celebrity on our forum. How does that make you feel?
Smasher: It makes me wonder what the heck is wrong with everyone.
Me: Maybe you slapped them too much and gave them all brain damage. :)
Smasher: I have a sudden urge to slap you again.
Me: This is going to be a very violent interview, isn't it?
Smasher: Most likely.
Me: Good. People like violence. Which means people will like this section. Which means I will get 'Section of the Month' again. Please, continue to slap me.
*Smasher slaps Stooby*
*Smasher slaps Stooby*
*Smasher slaps Stooby*
*Smasher slaps Stooby*
*Smasher slaps Stooby*
*Stooben is punch-drunk*
Me: It was just one cookie, MOM... Oh, look at the pretty circling birdies...
Smasher: That might have been one slap too many.
Me: wait WHO ARE YOU and why are you sitting on my cookie jar
Smasher: Uh...
Smasher: I'm uh...
*Smasher suddenly rewinds time*
Me: This is going to be a very violent interview, isn't it?
Smasher: Most likely.
Me: Well, we wouldn't want that!
Me: So, I will continue with my questions.
Smasher: Okay then.
Me: What do you think about all the pictures and drawings people make for you? There's even an entire thread on the forum dedicated just to that.
Me: Is it creepy?
Smasher: why me
Smasher: why
Smasher: Actually, I don't really mind it that much.
Smasher: I'm not entirely sure why people want to waste time making a picture of me, but whatever.
Me: I think people get put under a spell when they look into your sunglasses.
Me: You...uh...you don't get fan mail too, do you?
Smasher: Only from a crazy woman in Kentucky.
Me: Run.
Me: Run far away.
*Smasher hides*
Me: That might work, actually. You won't get hit by tomatoes there!
* Smasher gets hit by tomato*
Me: Damn it.
Me: Let's see... You seem to be a huge fan of Mafia on the forum. What made decide to start playing?
Smasher: That's actually one of the things that finally got me interested in the fourm.
Smasher: I saw a few threads as a guest and thought they looked fun. I even play on another site now
Me: Oh wow, really? I did not know that. It must be nice to play with different people sometimes. :P
Smasher: Yeah, I enjoy playing over there a lot.
Me: I should probably start playing Mafia on other forums again, it's been a long time since I have. Maybe Superchao's forum...
Me: Actually, Superchao reminds me of the Awards: How has your time on the Awards Committee been this year? Are you excited for the upcoming ceremony?
Smasher: I've enjoyed my time on the Awards Committee for the most part.
Smasher: And, I'm excited for the ceremony, though I probably won't be able to attend the full thing. :(
Me: Ouch, that sucks. :( Well, unless you're doing something fun that day. But if it's school, or a doctor, or something like that... that really sucks.
Me: Too bad the forum doesn't have TIVO.
Smasher: I will most likely spend the entire day working. :[
Me: Aw dude...that really bites. Sorry, man.
Smasher: At least I'll be able to view it when I get in the house. ...And I might be able to attend, you never know...!
Me: Well, that's something, at least! Good thing the whole event doesn't take place on chat, that way you can check things out on the forum afterwards.
Me: Speaking of the forum, I look around at people's profiles, and notice two popular themes. Both of which, I'm 98% sure you like.
Me: So, I ask you: Homestuck or My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic?
Smasher: Honestly, I prefer MLP. I like them both, though, yeah.
Me: Cool beans. What makes you like MLP more?
Me: I would assume not having a completely convoluted story would be part of it, lol. (But I'm one to talk, being a huge Lost fan.)
Smasher: ...I don't really know why I prefer it, lol.
Smasher: I just...do. *shrug*
Me: Fair enough. Sometimes it just works out that way.
Me: As for other things you like...hm, well, this is an obligatory I have to ask, 'cause I'm me. What kinds of music do you like?
Smasher: Let's see...most people know that I love grunge, classic rock, and alternative rock. I also like punk, new wave, indie rock, some metal, and just about anything to do with rock, really.
Me: Very nice! All genres I enjoy quite a lot as well. :)
Me: Any artist/song recommendations for our readers?
Smasher: Hm.
Smasher: My favorite artists are Nirvana, R.E.M., Foo Fighters, Paramore, and Linkin Park.
Smasher: My favorite songs are Nirvana's "In Bloom", R.E.M.'s "Losing My Religion", Foo Fighters' "The Pretender", Linkin Park's "In the End", System of a Down's "Toxicity", and Paramore's "Misery Business".
Me: Linkin Park and System aren't quite my cup of tea, but those two songs are major guilty pleasures for me. (Actually most of the albums they are off of are guilty pleasures.)
Me: Foo Fighters, Nirvana, Paramore, R.E.M., on the other hand, all get massive <3 from me.
Me: Alright, continuing this trend of "SMASHER, WHAT DO YOU LIIIIKE", what's your favorite Mario game?
Smasher: All of them.
*Smasher is hit by a drum*
Me: I didn't throw that.
Smasher: Seriously though, probably Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, with Mario Kart DS as a close second.
Me: Awww yeah, TTYD. *fist pump*
*Smasher is punched in the face*
Me: You're supposed to fist pump me back. I thought we rehearsed this. :(
Smasher: But I'm a Smasher.
Smasher: I fail at most things.
Smasher: You should know this.
Me: During this interview, you fail at nothing. :)
Me: Except dodging tomatoes.
*Stooben wipes the tomato stuff off with a French fry.*
*Stooben throws the French fry in the garbage*
*Smasher evaporates*
Me: Aw damn, now who will answer the rest of my questions? :(
*Smasher clone number 21381083108 suddenly appears*
Me: THAT WAS CONVENIENT!
Me: Well, let's see, what's your favorite non-Narmio game?
Me: er...Mario.
Smasher: Narmio.
Me: lol
Smasher: ...Of course, I spelled "Mafia" as "Nafia" recently.
Smasher: If Super Smash Bros. Brawl doesn't count, I'd say Rock Band.
Me: Rock Band is so much fun. Especially since you can learn the real instrument parts with Pro Mode now. :)
Me: But even regular mode is tons of fun.
Me: Brawl...haven't played that in too long, but man, that game was addicting. Cue cheapness that is Meta Knight, tho.
Smasher: I haven't played Pro Mode yet. </ashamed>
Smasher: Though, Rock Band is one of the main reasons why I love rock music so much, along with Guitar Hero.
Smasher: Also, Lucario >>>>>>>>>>>> Meta Knight
Smasher: Nothing anyone can say will change this.
Me: To me, Kirby >>> Lucario, but I'm assuming I count as 'anyone' :(
Smasher: Yes, you do.
Me: No fair.
Smasher: ...Though Kirby is awesome too :)
Me: Oh, yay! Most people I ask seem to think he's too weak.
Smasher: Kill them.
Me: That reminds me: Should we kill Shoey after this interview, or should we wait until the camera stops rolling before plotting such a thing?
Smasher: You just mentioned it.
Smasher: There's not much of a point of keeping it secret if everyone knows that we're plotting to kill him.
Me: But...but...I can bribe the producers into editing this out...! (PRODUCERS' NOTICE: This never happened.)
Smasher: in that case can we kill him now please
Me: yes
Me: man the cannons
*Smasher somehow gets blown out of a cannon*
*Smasher lands into the belly of a shark, as another clone takes his place in the chair*
Me: o_0
Me: Now that's entertainment.
Smasher: I'm funny.
Me: Yes. You don't fail at humor.
Me: But now is not the time for praise!
Me: Now is the time...for STALKING!
Me: What hobbies do you have in real life?
Smasher: But I like prais—
Smasher: uhhhhh
Smasher: does being on this all day count
Smasher: Though, I like gaming, and I collect stuff, and uh...
Smasher: Wow, I can't think of anything else.
Smasher: i have no real life
Me: You aren't going to tell anyone about your multi-million dollar sunglasses-manufacturing industry, or how you've met Harrison Ford in real life and dined on his life-sized model of the Milennium Falcon?
Smasher: OH YEAH!
Smasher: I did all those things too.
Smasher: Also, I secretly rule the WORLD.
Me: Explains all the brainwashed fans.
Smasher: ...And why there are clones of me programmed to automatically gain all my memories and stuff when I die.
Me: Smash Jung-Il.
Me: Also, what kinds of stuff do you collect?
Smasher: Uh, I collect stuff related to video games and rock music.
Me: More manly than me. I used to collect Beanie Babies. :P
Me: I still have a box with, like, 200 of them.
Smasher: I used to too, lol.
Smasher: Only when I was like 7, though.
Me: Oh...I was doing it up until the age of 16, lol.
Me: i'm sad
Smasher: yes you are
Me: (at least I won't have to format that!)
Smasher: :D
Me: Let's see...what's it like in Texas?
Smasher: Hot.
Smasher: Though, it's nice for the most part. Just hot a lot.
Smasher: And there's almost never any snow down here. :(
Me: That sucks, snow is awesome. It makes winter...well, winter.
Smasher: I did get a lot of snow during 2010-2011's winter, though.
Me: Oh? How many inches? Were you able to build a snowman? Or a snowmidget?
Smasher: I don't really remember how many inches.
Smasher: I did build a snowman, though.
Me: Nice.
Me: Did you put your sunglasses on it to see if it would come to life? :D
Smasher: I don't actually own sunglasses in real life.
Smasher: I used to, but I have no idea what happened to them.
Smasher: is this bad
Me: Yes. This will break the hearts of...pretty much everyone.
Me: I may edit this out of the interview. (PRODUCERS' NOTICE: He never did...!)
Smasher: I need to get a new pair soon.
Me: You really should. Texas sun is brutal.
Smasher: You don't need to tell us that the sun is brutal here :P
Me: Lol, I suppose not. You're the one getting all the heat rays.
Smasher: We already have a swimming pool up.
Me: :O
Me: So, are you going to have a pool party this summer with babes and barbecues?
Smasher: Probably not, because I'm too lazy to host one.
Me: What if I provide the babes?
Me: ...maybe this interview is starting to sound too fictional.
Smasher: Maybe. xD
Me: lol
Me: I guess I'll circle back around to the wiki before wrapping things up.
Me: What's your proudest achievement around the community?
Smasher: Hmm...
Smasher: Probably the fact that I was promoted to chatroom operator after being here for only 8 months.
Me: That is quite an achievement. :) Promotions always feel nice to get, especially when you know you've earned them.
Me: I also don't think I ever congratulated you on that, although I knew about it. So, congratulations! </inexcusably late>
Smasher: you should have done that 13 months ago
Smasher: b& >:( </op abuse>
Me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQrhXSehUrg
Smasher: I can't view YouTube videos on dial-up. :(
Me: Oh.
Me: It's a clip from The Emperor's New Groove, saying "Boo hoo, now I feel really bad. Bad llama. *slaps self*"
Me: But now I do feel really bad. :(
Me: Well...to save myself from further embarrassment...and to set you free from this ridiculously long interview (which has actually cruised by compared to most interviews), I will bring out the big, final question.
Me: (Or so you think!)
Smasher: :o
Me: Isn't this NOT the last unquestion?
Smasher: 17.
Me: You know what's funnier than 17?
Me: 18.
*Smasher slaps Stooby again*
Me: cookies...cookies EVERYWHERE!
*Smasher throws explosive cookies at Stooby*
Me: Yay, snack time!
*Stooben noms*
*Stooben explodes into itty bits*
Smasher: ...
Smasher: Now who will finish the interview?
Smasher: ...
Smasher: Screw it.
*Smasher steals Stooby's TV and escapes from the studio*
In Closing
Having been a member of the community for roughly two years, Smasher's clearly made a name for himself. Chat Operator, 'Shroom Staff, core member of this year's Awards Committee, and even forum celebrity. Everybody loves Smasher, it seems. Really, this could be him in 20 years. And really, I get why. He's friendly to just about everyone, knows how to take and crack a joke, is a cool person to just sit and shoot the shit with...but in that same light, he's not just all fun and games. When somebody gives him a job to do, he does it, and he does it well. I think this year on the AC Committee and his near-tenure as a chat operator is proof enough of this.
So what if he's not a wiki Sysop or forum Moderator? You don't have to have a grand position of power around this community to prove yourself as a contributive member and gain respect. I like the way Smasher handles the things he does, and I personally think he's a great member of this community. If you pay attention to what Smasher does (and maybe take a brief break from making silly doodles of him in order to do just that), you should be able to see why I think that.
I guess that's it for this time! Don't want to rant for too long, but I think I already have. I enjoyed this interview, and once again, look forward to providing you with more fun and facts with another member of the community next month. Thanks for reading, and have a great month!
