The 'Shroom:Issue XXXV/Fake News

Fake News

Director's Notes
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Well, it's February. First of all, congratulations to Stoob for winning the election. Sadly, the Fake Games spot is still open. We also bid a fond farewell to, and hope he returns soon. Rather than having an aspiring writer contact me, I have conveniently put the application instructions right here:

To get a job, you will need to go TO THE FORUM, get an account there, and send the following answers to me in a Personal Message, under the "My Messages" tab. I'm trying to make myself as clear as possible; some people just don't get it. DO NOT PUT IT ON MY TALK PAGE; ANYONE CAN SEE IT!

So, you've decided to write for the Fake News! However, before you can become an official writer, we need to make sure you're qualified, so we have a quick interview and a few questions for you to answer. You MUST give me (Ralphfan) your answers and section before February 4th, 2010.

For this interview, you MUST get an account on our forums. Don't worry, it's free. Rather than putting your interview answers on my talk page where everyone can see them, you must send them to me on the forum. On the forum, click the tab that says "My Messages". Click "New Message" on the left side of the screen and send it to me, ralphfan. In the message, you will answer these questions:


 * Do you currently write for The 'Shroom? If so, what position(s) do you have?


 * Have you ever written a 'Shroom section, but stopped for some reason? If so, why did you stop writing?


 * Have you ever been blocked on the wiki? If so, what offense did you commit and how long was the block?


 * What position would you like to apply for?


 * Do you think that you will be able to meet the deadlines and be able to submit your sections on time, neatly organized, and with acceptable grammar?

''' FAKE GAMES AND FAKE WEATHER ARE THE ONLY OPEN POSITIONS. '''

For more info on these sections, click here.

Once again, to sum it up, get an account on the forum, answer the questions, and send me your section. If your section is good, it will be featured in January's 'Shroom and you will write your section every month! Good luck!

Travel Guide
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This month, we take you to an exclusive location, in the murky depths of the sea: The Underground! You'll encounter all of those weird fish that seem like a genetic train wreck on your way down. Be sure to travel with lots of Oxygen in your tank! After the perilous journey, check out the Subterranean Sheraton, just two blocks from the arena. The cuisine featured in the area is fabulous, ranging from sushi to good old hot dogs and french fries at the game.

Fake TV
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Big Miyamoto Theory This TV show is about 4 Koopas that live together. Sounds pretty normal, right? WRONG! They are extremely nerdy and quirky, especially Shelldon, who is obsessed with Pider, Toad, Super Koopa, and many other legendary figures. Another character, Rak, is unable to talk to girls unless he drinks Koopa Tea. They are WEIRD! Catch them on Monday nights at 9:30 on Channel 1166288374574499!

Wanted Poster
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http://i955.photobucket.com/albums/ae32/man_in_green_128/Starfoxcoffe.jpg

http://i955.photobucket.com/albums/ae32/man_in_green_128/Dibujo-1.jpg

http://i955.photobucket.com/albums/ae32/man_in_green_128/Dibujo2-2.jpg

Cooking Guide
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Hello everyone and welcome to the Cooking Guide section. Just as last week, we won't be having any special chef, but we will have one soon.

Today I will show you how to make a sugary sweet desert that all will love for Valentine's Day, Mango Delight!

Everyone already knows the first way, but who cares! I will show you a better way to prepare this delicious dish for yourself. First, please make sure you have:


 * 2 pounds of Keel Mangos
 * A bag of Cake Mix
 * A Food processor
 * A Mixing Bowl & Spoon
 * A stove and a stove pot
 * A Fancy glass container
 * A Turtley Leaf
 * A working Fridge


 * 1) Go to Keelhaul Key and find about 5 ripe Keel Mangos, but watch out for Green Fuzzies and Putrid Piranhas, so that you won't get woozy. Also, make sure to take the Cortez ship back home so that you're not shipwrecked on the island.
 * 2) Go to the Pianta Parlor and win six Pianta Tokens from the slot machine. If you suck and are a loser, just spend 18 coins on the Pianta Exchanger to easily obtain the six. Then walk up to Lola and trade the tokens to get a bag of Cake Mix.
 * 3) Go to Petal Meadows and go to the Mayor's garden, then steal a Turtley Leaf and run away. Make sure no one sees you!
 * 4) Go to a kitchen.
 * 5) Put the mangos in the food processor and run it until the mangos are all mushy.
 * 6) Add the mushy mangos with the cake mix into the mixing bowl, and stir until no clumps are visible.
 * 7) Cook on the oven for about 10 minutes on high or until it starts to boil.
 * 8) Pour mixture into fancy container and put in the fridge to cool for about 3 hours.
 * 9) Add a turtley leaf for decoration.
 * 10) If it's completed perfectly, serve it to your date on Valentine's Day and enjoy what little relationship you're probably going to have!

Ads
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http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj227/BlueStar91/Garlic2.jpg

Tomatoes? Nah! Onions? GROSS! Garlic...YEAH!

Garlic, one of the most refined vegetables of today. Forget about the sissy fruits they call tomatoes and onions, Garlic is a real vegetable. You think garlic tastes nasty? You think garlic makes your breath smell!? Well...true, but think again!

Garlic is the newest taste and has been used in many recipes. There are whole meals being made with this delectable vegetable. Start off with some fried garlic as an appetizer. Have a nice bowl of garlic soup or have a deluxe garlic salad. For your entree, have some roasted garlic with a side of...GARLIC! Craving dessert? Try some garlic-flavored ice cream or some garlic tiramisu. Thirsty? Wash it down with freshly squeezed garlic juice. The perfect dinner, am I right?

Ever had troubles with vampires? Do you despise the movie Twilight? Give them a taste of their own medicine using garlic!

Visit your local grocery store before they fly off the shelves...no, seriously, I thought I just saw Wario walk into the produce section.

Fake Interview
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Hello all you readers out there, this is your interviewer, Baby Mario Bloops, with your favorite section of the Fake News (I hope), the interview! Today, I am going to talk with Morton Koopa Jr. about his return to the Mario series! With nothing left to add, let the talking begin!

Baby Mario Bloops:So, Morton, everyone wants to know, how does it feel to be back in action?

Morton Koopa Jr.: Do da da do do da da.♪

Baby Mario Bloops:Morton? Morton!!!!!!!!! Take off the headphones and put away the Ipod, we're in the middle of an interview!!!

Morton Koopa Jr.: What? Oh! Sorry, I didn't know we started, so what were you saying again?

Baby Mario Bloops: (sigh) How does it feel to be back in the games?

Morton Koopa Jr.: Is that a joke?!? Oh yeah! Anything that involves stomping on Mario is something worth doing!

Baby Mario Bloops: Not a surprise, as we can tell by the game itself and also your siblings. Speaking of which, are you related to Bowser Jr.?

Morton Koopa Jr.: Don't talk about that! Ever since he came into the family, Dad's been giving him all the fun and taking him to try to get Mario. That is why we have been waiting for so long!!!!

Baby Mario Bloops: Okay...let's move on then. You used to be the odd one out of your brothers and sister. Now that you've returned, Larry for example, has a star birthmark just as you do!

Morton Koopa Jr.: Oh that? Yeah, that's really a tattoo, father let him get since he "needed" to learn what pain felt like. He must really look up to me, since he copied that on the side of his head.

Baby Mario Bloops: Maybe, just maybe...anyways, were did you get your nickname "Big Mouth Koopa Jr." from?

Morton Koopa Jr.: I gladly don't get called that anymore. Apparently, my siblings thought I was a big mouth, though I was sure that my sis held the title all along. Haha.

Baby Mario Bloops: And may I ask what Jr. stands for in your name?

Morton Koopa Jr.: Oh, that. My grandpa was named that, and dad thought that was a nice thing to do.

Baby Mario Bloops: That's very sweet of him! I wish I could have seen that, how rare a thing it is for him to do that.

Morton Koopa Jr.: Hey! Just because my dad has a vendetta against Mario doesn't mean that he is always evil! He just wants Mario to repay.

Baby Mario Bloops: Speaking of which, what caused the vendetta?

Morton Koopa Jr.: Well--I truly don't have a clue, but still, dad doesn't hate anyone more than Mario, so it had to be a good reason.

Baby Mario Bloops: You just might be right about the reason. Well, I'm sorry, but our time is up. Thank you Morton for the interview! And hope to see all of you next time and enjoy a lovely Valentine's!

Fake Sports
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Mario has taken on a new sport: Quidditch! That's right; he was out on the pitch yesterday and his team triumphed against Team Waluigi, 270-90. Shy Guy scored seven goals, Birdo scored three, and Pianta tallied a pair en route to the victory. It has been rumored that Team Mario will play an exhibition in the upcoming weeks against Gryffindor! Terms for the match haven't been finalized, but it is likely that the match will be played in the Marioverse; Hogwarts' stadium is far too small.

Fake Characters
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Well, well, well. Moving on back to the 90's! Nintendo is releasing a new 64-bit Mario game! It's called Super Mario Bros. 4. It is a 64-bit 2-dimensional Mario game. However, the best part about this game is it is introducing many new characters to the original Mario plot. First, they've added another Koopaling! His name is Lemmy Koopa II. He looks like Lemmy Koopa, except much fatter. Also, they're adding the Goomba Bro! We all know the Hammer Bros. who throw hammers, and some who throw boomerangs, and then some who shoot ice balls, and even more who shoot fire balls. However, now there's one that throws Goombas! They're also adding Booster VII as another boss! I'm certainly looking forward to this new game. It comes out in 2018! Ironic, right?

Fake Shop
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Welcome to the Fake Shop! Today, we feature the rarest items from Dark Land! I got them from the Koopalings. If these prices are too high, you can now get gift cards, which are free. Their location is my talk page. Behold!!!



1st item: Ludwig's shell

1st Item Info: Yuck! This shell is covered in chocolate, but it makes you slide easier.

1st item price: 1000 coins.



2nd item: Iggy's shell

2nd item Info: This shell will make you jump higher.

2nd item Price: 800 coins.



3rd Item: Bowser Jr.'s Koopa Clown car

3rd Item Info: This vehicle hovers over any terrain!

3rd Item Price: 10000 coins.