Lord Crump

"And with that...pow! I'm gone!"

- Lord Crump

Lord Crump (or X-Naut Black) is a secondary antagonist in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, and the second highest ranking member of the X-Nauts (second only to Sir Grodus). He fights Mario four times, two of them while controlling his personal robot, Magnus von Grapple.

Second in command of the X-Nauts, Lord Crump is always willing to follow Grodus' command. Even though Lord Crump is second in command, Grodus calls him his most incompetent underling in Chapter 8. Lord Crump is a frequent character in the story, often getting in Mario's way.

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
Lord Crump appears as soon as Mario enters Rogueport and catches him interrogating Goombella in search of her knowledge of the Crystal Stars. Mario, with Goombella's help, defeats Lord Crump in a tutorial fight, but Crump has a trick up his sleeve, calling the rest of the X-Nauts to "punish him", prompting a cloud fight until Mario and Goombella flee the scene.

In Chapter 2 of the game, Grodus sends him and the Shadow Sirens to Boggly Woods, knowing a Crystal Star is located somewhere within the Great Tree. Knowing the Crystal Star belongs to the Punies in the tree, Crump and his men imprison the Punies, team up with the Punies' enemies, the Jabbies, and perform a search throughout the tree. Their search for the Star doesn't go well when Mario, Goombella, Koops, Flurrie, and Punio interfere with his plans, liberate the Punies and fight the Jabbies in a battle for the tree. After Mario and the Punies find the Emerald Star, Crump steals it and activates a time bomb. As Mario and company reach the entrance to the tree, they see that the Puni elder has blocked off Crump's escape, giving them the opportunity to force Crump to deactivate the time bomb. However, he refuses to hand the Emerald Star over, instead activating Magnus von Grapple to attack in an attempt to destroy Mario and company and make his getaway with the Emerald Star. His attempt to defeat Mario and company proves totally unsuccessful and Magnus von Grapple is destroyed instead. Upon the defeat of Magnus von Grapple, Lord Crump and his men are driven out of the Great Tree, and the Puni elder gives Mario and his team the Emerald Star as a reward.

In Chapter 5, Lord Crump disguises himself as a pirate named Four-Eyes and follows Mario and company to Keelhaul Key to find the Sapphire Star. Shown in the picture, his disguise is very bad, and Crump even breaks the fourth wall, telling the player that even though they might see through his disguise, they should not tell Mario of it. He secretly follows Mario and company through the Pirate's Grotto as Mario and company search for the Star. After Mario and his friends beat Cortez and obtain the Star, Lord Crump removes his disguise and threatens to blow Keelhaul Key to the bottom of the sea unless Mario gives him the Sapphire Star. Mario, Flavio and company enlist Cortez's help to fight Crump. While Cortez's pirates (with help from Mario and Flavio's deckhands and Francesca and Frankie) and Crump's X-Nauts raid each others' ships, Mario and his partners fight Lord Crump. This time, Crump uses his X-Nauts as backup. Lord Crump and his X-Nauts lose and are forced to retreat.

It is not long after the events at Keelhaul Key that Lord Crump returns to Twilight Town in search of the Superbombomb. He manages to find it, and gloats over how it will help him with the search for the Crystal Stars. Unfortunately, Bowser and Kammy Koopa are around, and overhear him. This results in a battle against the X-Nauts and the Koopa Troop that almost begins, until Bowser uses his Fire Breath to set off the Superbombomb, blasting both armies into submission. This is the only time Crump gets to meet Bowser.

Lord Crump reappears at the end of the X-Naut Fortress where he attacks Mario and friends in the Magnus von Grapple 2.0, which he claims to have at least a dozen new abilities. Mario defeats Crump and sends him into space. Grodus reveals that the results of the battle were irrelevant for his plans, and admits that he tricked Lord Crump.

During the ending, it is revealed that Lord Crump survives after his defeat. He was last seen in Poshley Heights, along with Grodus (who is reduced to his robotic head), and four X-Naut troopers. As with Beldam, Lord Crump and the X-Nauts reportedly reformed for the better.

Field Tattle
Outside of battle, Goombella can use Tattle on Lord Crump only while he is disguised as Four-Eyes.
 * Rogueport harbor
 * "They call that guy Four-Eyes. He's one of the sailors coming with us to Keelhaul Key. I totally feel like I've seen him somewhere before, though... ...Maybe I'm just going nuts."
 * Keelhaul Key/Pirate's Grotto
 * "This guy's called Four-Eyes. He's one of the sailors who came along to Keelhaul Key. It's the weirdest thing... I feel like I've seen him somewhere before, though... ...Maybe I'm just nuts."

Super Smash Bros. Brawl
In Super Smash Bros. Brawl, one of the names in the random name selection is "CRUMP", which is a possible reference to Lord Crump.

Personality
Lord Crump, throughout the course of the game, has been shown to be somewhat of a clown and bumbling; and as a result, he is often looked down on by Grodus, even going so far as to label him as his "least-competent underling". Despite this, there are many instances where he proves himself to be quite intelligent, such as in Chapter 2 when he sets a trap for Mario and his partners, in Chapter 5, where he disguises himself as Four-Eyes and uses Mario and company to defeat Cortez for him so that he can obtain the Crystal Star, and even in Chapter 7, where he (according to himself) uses the last Crystal Star to lure Mario and the others up to the X-Naut Fortress so that he can take theirs and add to the X-Nauts' collection (even though he does not know he is being taken advantage of himself by Grodus). Lord Crump has also shown some displays of arrogance in the aforementioned scenes. Lord Crump's speech pattern is seen as irritating to Grodus.

Quotes

 * "Looks like I'm going to have to give you a little taste of the old CRUMP-A-BOMB!"
 * "Whoa. What's your problem, gramma? You got an ear hair tickling your brain, or what?"
 * "Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh huh huh! I've got some ammo to spare! How's THAT for boom–bassa–boom?!?"
 * "Buh huh huh...uh, crud. You guys should be little puddles of nothing by now... Oh well, I've still got some tricks up my sleeve!"

Trivia

 * It is impossible to lose the first battle against Lord Crump, because even if Mario falls into the water to lose 9 HP, he will start the battle with at least 5 HP, and his only options are attacking and defending.
 * If Lord Crump is frozen during the second phase of his third fight (on Keelhaul Key), he will not board the X-Nauts as they perform their giant ball attack, but the attack will work as normal.
 * The beginning of Lord Crump's theme has the death soundbit from the infamous version of .

Crucillus