List of Paper Mario: Color Splash quotes

This is a list of quotes from the game Paper Mario: Color Splash, listed by character, in alphabetical order.

Bowser

 * "BWAHAHA! Feast your eyes!"
 * "I have harnessed the power of the black paint! Nothing can stop me now! Soon I will share the dark gift of black paint with the entire world! GWAHAHA! Later, chumps!"
 * "Well, well, well. Mario! I must admit–I didn't think you'd make it this far."
 * "Your beloved Princess Peach is here too! I knew she wouldn't want to miss this. Of course, I couldn't have her sending out those pesky little letters behind my back... You know what she said when I caught her spying on me? "I've been framed!" BAHAHAHA!"
 * "BWAHAHA! Put a lid on it, Rusty! I'll show you the true meaning of PAINT!"
 * "Huh? Mario?! What are you doing in my castle, chump?! Is...is Princess Peach with you?"
 * "GRAAAAAAAAARH! IGNORE THE WORDS I JUST SAID! SUFFER THE TRUE POWER OF BLACK PAINT!"
 * "Running won't get you anywhere! This doesn't end until one of us drops. Most likely you!"
 * "YOU DARE STEAL THE BLACK PAINT?! LET'S SEE YOU BLOCK...THIS!"
 * "ARGH! THAT'S IT! PREPARE TO FACE...MY LAST BREATH!"
 * "OK, NOW THIS IS *REALLY* MY LAST BREATH. THE OTHER ONE WAS A WARM-UP!"
 * "Wha...? What's going on? MARIO?! What are YOU doing here? Do we have a kart race scheduled for today? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BRAIN, CHUMPS?! And why do I feel like I just got hit by a bus?!"

Buzzy Beetle

 * "Buzzy Beetle Blocker... engage!"
 * "Bah!"
 * "Can't flip me!"
 * "Buzzy Beetle beatdown!"
 * "Clickity-clack!"

Iggy Koopa

 * "AHAHAHA! You should see the look on your face! No, really. Can we get a mirror over here? Ah, forget it... Let's shred this paper pusher!"
 * "So anyway, I'm Iggy! I'll be your frustratingly overpowered opponent today!"
 * "Let's see what you're made of, pretty boy!"
 * "Come at me!"
 * "OK, so you're not a COMPLETE waste of paint."
 * "Eyes on the prize, boys. Let's show him the REAL power of our chariots!"
 * "AHAHAHA! I'll let my minions wreck you while I go for a leisurely drive!"
 * "NOPE! You can't touch our chariots!"
 * "DENIED! You can't touch our chariots!"
 * "AHAHAHA! These chariots were such a good investment."
 * "What's the matter, Mario? Battle Royal not going the way you thought it would? Well it's about to get even worse! Line 'em up, boys!"
 * "No fair! Where'd you get that thing?"
 * "JUST KIDDING! Did you think it was over? That you could just win like that? AHAHAHA!"
 * "AHAHAHA!"
 * "Now, unless you brought two of those things... I'll just go ahead and END THIS! Lights out, Mario!"
 * "AW MAN! The sales guy told me those chariots were invincible! I want a refund!"
 * "UGH! I lost on my home turf? That's embarrassing... Well, I guess you can take the Big Paint Star now... Shut it down! Show's over!"

Kamek

 * ''"Kickety kaw, kickety koo! Make Mario the size of a shrew!"
 * "Eheeheehee! It's itsy-bitsy wittle Mawio! Let's see you stomp some Goombas now, you greedy little coin snatcher! True power needs not material wealth!"
 * "Lippety lap, lappet licks! Trim your hand right down to six!"
 * "Paralyzed by choice, are we? Allow me to help. Eheeheehee! And you're never getting your other cards back! ...Well, unless you win the fight."
 * "Tickety tatch, tickety twos! All of your cards are crummy shoes!"
 * "Koopatee kaw, koopatee konn! Where's your hand? Opps—it's gone!"
 * "Oh, you didn't want those cards, did you? You can always pay for a Battle Spin! Cross your fingers for a good card. Eheeheehee!"
 * "Huh? NO! But how...?! I was so busy tormenting Mario that I failed to realize my color has drained completely! Which means... The words I'm now speaking are my last! Quick, Kamek, say something profound! Uh... Did I lock my front door this morning? GAH! NO! Curse you, Mario! With my last ounce of power, I'll trap you in this forest...forever! I'm going to make you so big, you'll never fit in a pipe again, plumber boy! Eheeheehee!"
 * "Oh... I guess I only had enough power left to turn you back to normal size. Shoot..."

Larry Koopa

 * "Took you long enough, pal… I’m almost done digesting that giant steak I ate. *BELCH*"
 * "You grill a mean steak, Mario. You should have been a chef! At least that way, you would’ve had a nice long culinary experience. But instead, I’m gonna cook you up a tuna-fist sandwich before we get to Starlight Cape!"
 * "Lord Bowser is expecting the Big Paint Star, and I have no intention of disappointing him. Have you even seen his disappointed face? It’s heartbreaking! Enough small talk. Let’s get this over with."
 * "Ahaaaaaaaaa! I love the smell of impending doom! It was my henchmen who hijacked this train, and it’ll be my henchmen who…keep the train, uh…hijacked."
 * "Crush that dirty Toad!"
 * "Amateurs…"
 * '"'Minions! Crush them!"''
 * "Agh! Stupid Toad!"
 * "If you love engines so much, then why don’t you marry this smoke!"
 * "Well, that was fun, but I'm bored. Thanks for playing, loser!"
 * "You stopped up my smokestack, you little pest!"
 * "I haven’t lost yet!"
 * "WHAT…?! No! This can’t be… I… I lost! I can’t ever face Lord Bowser again! I’ll have to go on the lam. No, maybe I’ll go on the lamb… Lamb chops sound pretty good righ-"

Laundry Guy

 * "Today is a perfect day for doing laundry. I chucked in all the dirty stuff that's been piling up lately."
 * "How dare you wring that out! It was right in the middle of the spin cycle!"
 * "Now what am I gonna wear?"

Lemmy Koopa

 * "Thank you, thank you! It is I, Lemmy, the greatest and most humble illusionist in all the world! The things you’re about to see may shock you. They might astound you. But they’ll definitely impress you."
 * "SPOTLIGHT!"
 * "Now, the ringmaster here is just your average, garden-variety Shy Guy. Yes, you. Don’t look so surprised."
 * "Now feast your eyes on this! My magic wand! PHENOMENAL ARCANE POWER…in a slim and user-friendly stick! Now you see him…"
 * "What?! Where did he go? Did I vaporize him?!"
 * "You, sir! Have you seen him?"
 * "Thank you, thank you! You’re easily entertained. And now…"
 * "That’s right! (That’s EXACTLY right!) It’s a shiny green Big Paint Star! Now, watch closely!"
 * "Heeheekee! Now, wherever could the Big Paint Star have gone?"
 * "You, there! With the ridiculous moustache and the rusty can. Where do you think that extra-special Big Paint Star ran off to? You didn’t need that, did you? Heeheekeeeeeeeeee!"
 * "Well done! It seems I’ve been caught."
 * "For some reason, my magic wand doesn’t have any effect on the Paint Star. So the only way I could make it disappear was to employ a little…sleight of hand. But no matter - the point of this circus wasn’t to show off my magical prowess. The point was to steal the Paint Star and embarrass you in front of a giant crowd at the same time! And now it’s time for the grand finale! Heeheekee!"
 * "You're back! Such tenacity. Oooh, yes. I like you! Come now - the show must go on!"
 * "This is it! The moment you’ve all been waiting for. The FINAL performance of Mario’s career!"
 * "Now you see it! Now you don’t!"
 * "Bye-bye, card! Surprised ya, huh? APPLAUSE!"
 * "Oooh! Nicely done! APPLAUSE!"
 * "Thing Cards?! What is this, baby’s first battle? APPLAUSE!"
 * "The show is in full swing. It’s almost time for the grand finale!"
 * "Yes! My magic wand can transform into a magic ball. A Wonder Ball! Yes, yes! Clap for the Wonder Ball!"
 * "A discotheque with a Disco Ball! The groove…is too much to bear! I’VE GOT TO BOOGIE!"
 * "Ooooh, you sly dog! How am I supposed to defend myself when I'm getting down? Ya dig? And now for the grand finale!"
 * "My Wonder Ball deftly avoids your pathetic attack. APPLAUSE!"
 * "Here it comes--the grand finale!"
 * "This is it! Wonder Ballistic! Eheeheekee! Go ahead and struggle! It adds to the drama of it all!"
 * "NOOO! You popped my Wonder Ball! Do you even know what that thing retails for?!"
 * "Heeheekeeeee… You’re really fired up tonight, Mario. You must’ve really enjoyed the show. I admit defeat. A spectacular defeat! There’s more drama in defeat anyway. Victory is soooo overdone. And…scene."

Ludwig von Koopa

 * "Gwehehe!"
 * "I’ve been waiting, Mario! I designed this weapon specifically for you. I think you’re gonna LOVE it. Gaze upon its glory! Cower in fear of its might!"
 * "Gwehehehe! My new anti-Mario weapon! Ludwig’s Megabad Super Battleship of Dooooooooooom! But its friends call it the Super Ludship! What do you think? Isn’t it FIERCE?"
 * "But you did show up a little, uh, earlier than I anticipated, so we had to cut production a bit…short."
 * "You’re right. I do have the blue Big Paint Star. But I’m not just going to let you take it… If you really want it, you’ll have to get through me and my Super Ludship! Come at me!"
 * "The first movement begins! I hope you enjoy my Cannon in Sea Major!"
 * "Target: Mario! Fire!"
 * "Ho ho! A counterattack, eh? Aren’t we doing well? Prepare tactical auxiliary forward-mounted attack units! Oh, you know what I mean. Queue the dang Koopa Paratroopas!"
 * "Gwehehe! You think your puny attack is going to damage my Super Ludship?"
 * "Grrrreh! My ship has taken serious damage! Don’t think I’m going to let it happen again! BOMBERS! Do your stinking jobs!"
 * "Gyaaahhh! She’s going down!"
 * "Gwehehe! This was my plan all along! The Ludship was just a temporary design! Say hello to the flagship of my fleet: the Super Ludsub! Go ahead - just try to attack it. Gwehehe!"
 * "Gwehehe! Bust out the streamers and blow up the balloons - it’s time to celebrate your demise!"
 * "Gwehehe! Get that Replica garbage out of here!"
 * "This will LIFT your spirits: I'm going to end this battle next turn... BY BLASTING YOU INTO CONFETTI!"
 * "You put up quite a fight, but I'm afraid I must bid you adieu. Here comes my final attack... Meteor Missile Storm!"
 * "Super Ludsub, dive! Huh? Dive! DIVE! Why won’t you dive?!"
 * "You wrecked my Super Ludsub! HOW DARE YOU!"
 * "Mario… The world-famous Super Mario… I wanted to fight you, if not only once. That’s why I lured you in here with the Big Paint Star. But it looks like I underestimated you. I admit defeat. Even now, I’m glad that I got to trade blows with you. I guess I’ll just have to hope Lord Bowser can defeat you… Good-bye."

Morton Koopa Jr.

 * "MORTON! WHY MORTON HERE?"
 * "OH YEAH! DA BIGGUN! BIG OL' PAIN STAR! NEED FIND BIG PAIN STAR!"
 * "FIND RIGHT NOW, AND FASTLY!"
 * "HELLO!"
 * "BIG LARGE PAIN STAR!"
 * ''"ME MORTON!"'
 * "NO PAIN STAR FOR DA MARIO!"
 * "MORTON FIND PAIN STAR!"
 * "BAD MARIO FIND PAIN STAR! BUT MORTON FIND IT MORE! MORE MORTON'S! MORE TONS! MORTON CRUSH MARIO!"
 * "MORTON STRONG! MORTON MORE TONS!"
 * "BRING ME PEDAL STOOL!"
 * "MORTON ON PEDAL STOOL! LOOK NOW! MORTON SAFE HERE!"
 * "HIGH PLACE BROKE... LOW PLACE SCARY."
 * "MORTON IS FIRED!"
 * "HOT MALLET!"
 * "FIRE... BROKEN? MALLET GONE... JUST STICK..."
 * "EAT STICK!!"
 * "MORTON... MORTON LOSE. BAD MARIO GET PAIN STAR... MASTER ORDER MORTON... SAY GO GET PAIN STAR... MORTON? MORE LIKE... LESTON."

Ninji

 * "Ninji shield!"
 * "See ya!"
 * "I am the darkness!"
 * "Ninja double!"

Petea Piranha

 * "GLARBOK!"
 * "GLARBOK! (Knock it off!)"
 * "GLORGOK GLEP GLEP GLOP! (Can't you see I'm poisoning here?)"
 * "GLAK GLAW! (Sweet freedom!)"
 * "GLOMBO GLEEP GLA– (You shall rue the da–!)"
 * "GLORP GLAP? GORGLE ORGLE GLEP! (What am I thinking? These guys can't understand me anyway!)
 * "GLAKLAKLAKLAKLAK! (Mwahahahaha!)"
 * ''"GUUGUU GAAGAA?!'"'
 * "GOOGOO!"
 * "Gagaaaaa..."
 * "GAGGA GAGGA!"

Pry Guy

 * ""Journal of Justice""
 * ""From the shadows of...darkness, a hero arises to protect those who cannot protect themselves.""
 * ""This hero harnesses the power of justice to strike fear into the hearts of the wicked.""
 * ""Plus he looks really, REALLY cool, and everybody wants to be best friends with him.""
 * ""When bad guys appear... he fights without fear!""
 * "Here comes a bad guy now! Let's see how you like this..."
 * "HARDCOVER JUSTICE MISSILE!"

Roy Koopa

 * "Thanks for the paint, old man! Bahaha! Don’t worry - you’ll get it back soon enough…"
 * "Oh, but I almost forgot. We gotta do one more thing before I give back the paint."
 * "All right! Now we’re ready to rock and roll!"
 * "Here comes your paint, buddy. I told you I’d give it back to you."
 * "Buckle up, buttercup!"
 * "Bahaha! Check it out - I’m gonna splat you with your own paint. How’s that for irony? Yeah, I know what irony is. BOOM. Knowledge is power, so I started going to night school."
 * "Bah! This is too slow. Hey, guys, just bring me all of the paint at once!"
 * "There we go! Ooh, that’s mixing up real nice… Get ready for a blackout!"
 * "Bahahaha! What are you even doing? Can't you even see where you're aiming? What am I saying? Of course you can't!"
 * "Aw MAN! You figured it out! No matter. I’ll just have to stomp you the old-fashioned way!"
 * "No more Mr. Nice Roy!"
 * "Gwaaah! How’d you DO that? I took all your paint, and you didn’t even flinch! You weren’t even afraid of the black paint! You may have defeated me, but Lord Bowser won’t fall so easily! Nap time!"

Shady Sledge Bro

 * "HOLD IT!"
 * "Leave this to me, fellas."
 * "You got a lotta guts coming here by yerself, Mario."
 * "I like yer style."
 * "You and me! Mano and mano!"
 * "I got this! Y'all hang back!"
 * "So this is how it ends..."
 * "If only... I coulda sat on "it"... just once."
 * "Urghhhh..."
 * "No mercy!"
 * "Hold it!"
 * "I lost my scarf, my gloves, AND my socks! If it weren't for these shades, I'd be naked!"

Shunned Guy

 * "My favorite color is slurple!"
 * ''"Paint and suffering...'"'
 * "Not fire! Anything but fire!"

Shy Guy 4-Stack

 * "What's your problem, bub? You don't wanna stack up with us?"
 * ''"Ooooh, I bet you think you're soooo cool being a single Shy Guy!'"'
 * "We're only rollin' four deep. We need one more to be a 5-Stack, yo!"
 * "Enough talk. Stack 'im, boys!"
 * "Cripes, he ran away!"
 * "Ayy, check out the ratty mustache on this 1-Stack over here!"
 * ''"HAH! It looks like your upper lip found a Tanooki Suit!'"'
 * "STACK THIS CLOWN!"
 * "We need a fifth!"
 * "The power of paper!"
 * "4-stack 4 life!"
 * "Hey losers! Come stack with us! It'll be fun!"
 * "Not just fun—studies show that stacking in groups of five can increase HP and lower cholesterol!"

Shy Guy 5-Stack

 * "Five Shy Guys!"
 * "Fore!"
 * "Triple threat!"
 * "Double trouble!"
 * ''"Don't hurt me!'"'
 * "Not so fast!"
 * "Our clothes were in there! You ruined five perfectly good hoods!"
 * "You'll pay for this..."

Snifit

 * "Don't move or we shoot!"
 * "YOU MOVED!"
 * "You're jealous of my mask. Admit it."
 * "You're in spitting distance!"
 * "Noxious fumes are nothing to me!"
 * "I could go for some go for some coffee..."

Soggy Guy

 * "Unnnnnnngh..."
 * "I know you're supposed to be the enemy and stuff, but... thanks for scrapping those guys."
 * ''"I might be all soggy now, but I'd rather be soggy than stacked with them.'"'
 * ''"They say that one guy can't make a difference. That I should be another cog in the machine.'"'
 * ''"But I don't care what they think! I'm living my life as a single layer of Shy Guy awesomeness!'"'
 * "Oh scrap! A talking paint can?!"
 * "I must've hit my head harder than I thought. You better take this before I pass out."
 * "These colors don't run. Oh, wait..."
 * "I'll smear ya!"
 * "So soggy..."
 * "Why's everything so blurry?"

Sombrero Guy

 * "Fear the sombrero!"
 * ''"I'm all hat, ALL CATTLE!'"'
 * ''"How do you day? Ah, yes. Attack!'"'
 * "Passionate arpeggio of DOOM!"

Spike Top

 * "Look who grew a spike!"
 * "I'm basically invincible!"
 * "Only got one spike. Only need one."
 * "Jumps welcome."

Swoop

 * "Swoop!"
 * "Nyah, nyah, you can't fly!"
 * "Woops!"

Wendy O. Koopa

 * "*yawwwwwwwwwwn* Well, if it isn’t the man of the hour… You’re late. I’ve been waiting for you FOREVER, mister! I was beginning to think you’d stood me up. I thought to myself, ‘’Wendy, is Mario ever going to show up?’’ And then I dozed off. Anyway, Mr. Bowser sent me to stop you from getting your grubby little mitts on this Big Paint Star. And now that I’ve gotten some peaceful rest, it’s time to help you rest in peace!"
 * "Now, since you did come all the way to Fortune Island, I guess you must really like money, honey… Teehee! Get ready for payday!"
 * "All those coins, and you’re not even smiling! Well, I’ll smile big enough for the both of us. Take my picture, honey!"
 * "Now, get ready for something more valuable than coins. Let’s see one last big smile before I end this. Say cheese!"
 * "Here it comes! Wendy’s gorgeous golden ring! Protect your neck!"
 * "My golden ring has you in its embrace. Your face is priceless!"
 * "I’m tired of looking at your face, so how about I break it? Sound good?"
 * "WHAT?! Why can’t I beat you?!"
 * "Oh, FINE. You beat me. I get it. I can’t believe I came all the way out to this stupid island…waited in this cramped shell for days on end…only to lose! Well, at least I lost to you. Don’t tell Mr. Bowser I said this, but you’re kind of cute, Mario. Teehee…"