List of Wario: Master of Disguise quotes

This is a list of quotes from Wario: Master of Disguise.

Carpaccio

 * "Hey, looky what the cat dragged in! Carpaccio didn't expect company here!"
 * "So, you're Cannoli, huh?"
 * "What...seriously? Purple Wind? That's your name? Crazytown!"
 * "I assumed that a...professional...had been following me."
 * "Well, sorry about the museum then. I left all those booby traps for Cannoli."
 * "Huh? Oh, yeah, that. Yeah, that was me."
 * "I thought that museum smelled stanky! It was you! Wow, buddy. Shower much?"
 * "Hang on a sec. Did I just hear you complaining that I stole YOUR treasure?"
 * "You know what separates the Whiners from the winners? Results. And I get 'em."
 * "Listen, friend, I just got there first."
 * "Nothing personal. Just business, right?"
 * "Don't you agree?"
 * "Look, buddy! When you got a mind like a steel trap like mine..."
 * "Plus the coldest heart in the biz...and fan-freakin'-tastic hair like this..."
 * "Then maybe we'll talk more. Until then, you're wastin' my time."
 * "Look me up someday when you're tired of being a loser, Purple Wind."
 * "Got business to attend to up the road. See ya."
 * "Hey, slick. You made it. The name, again, is Carpaccio..."
 * "Car, as in "car, " and I got a great one. Pac, as in "posh, " which my mansion is."
 * "Cio, which rhymes with "BO, " which is what you got. Seriously, take a shower!"
 * "Now there's something I didn't see earlier...that wand!"
 * "So it IS you, Cannoli! This whole idiotic Purple Wind routine was just a ruse!"
 * "Well done! I applaud you, Cannoli! Let me unmask myself then."
 * "I head up the global corporation called Sigil Securities. Heard our slogan?"
 * "We're hard at work watching your back...That way it's easier to pick your pocket!"
 * "Get' em, guys!"
 * "Respect? He laughed in the face of Sigil Securities! So you're BOTH going down!"
 * "You must face the cold, hard facts. One: I'm a winner. Two: you're a whiner."
 * "Tuning me out, are you? Then we must have a meeting of the minds..."
 * "You'll see things MY way! I eat guys like you for breakfast!"
 * "Yum!"
 * "H-how can it be? I lost to this lowlife? And I now see...he's not even Cannoli..."
 * "My bad. I seem to have underestimated you."
 * "I won't make that mistake twice."
 * "Next time, I will totally consume you!"

Count Cannoli

 * "I blow through like the gentlest breeze, then steal in with the greatest of ease!"
 * "Think I'm a threat? I'd have to concur! Lock your doors! I'm the Silver Zephyr!"
 * "Now...to business! What a luxurious ship! I shall steal its most dazzling treasures!"
 * "Oh, my aching... Who...who are you?"
 * "Oh! And that's MY wand! Give it back! Relinquish it NOW!"
 * "Star? No! You're nobody! Hey! Don't wave that!"
 * "P-Purple Wind?! You're a thief, too?"
 * "HA! I'm superior to you! Even without that wand!"
 * "Wait, no! Oh, my wand! Come back! I really didn't mean it!"
 * "H-Hey! What a foul man! Bring back my wand!"
 * "Oh, I'll strike when you least expect it...thief!"
 * "Last warning! Give that wand back!"
 * "The wand you hold in your filthy hand..."
 * "It's served my family for generations!"
 * "I'd be shamed beyond belief if I lost it! So give it back to me! Immediately!"
 * "Without it, I can't turn into the Silver Zephyr, a thief feared by all!"
 * "And I'll be stuck as myself...the utterly boring Count Cannoli...forever and ever!"
 * "You musn't steal my wand! Or steal my FAME!"
 * "I've got you now!"
 * "Hoodlum! Return my wand!"
 * "You're a slippery one..."
 * "But I'll get you soon!"
 * "Hmmm. Maybe you do have the heart of a thief."
 * "But, Wario, you're no Silver Zephyr!"
 * "Are you kidding? It reeks of inelegance!"
 * "And YOU'RE the dumb one! Just try to survive!"
 * "I've booby-trapped this whole ship already!"
 * "Give me back my wand and I'll let you escape."
 * "Well then, I shall dog your heels, you amateur."
 * "Well, Wario... You've survived a few traps."
 * "That's the last straw! No one insults Cannoli!"
 * "It's time to take back my wand. And my honor!"
 * "No, it can't be..."
 * "W-w-wait! You just want treasure, right?!"
 * "I can help you steal every bit of it from this ship!"
 * "You have my word! Just give me my wand back!"
 * "My family honor depends on keeping that wand!"
 * "It goes WAY back in my family...to my great-, great-, great..."
 * "So I hear. But I can tell that you're...not interested."
 * "You're kidding?! I mean...thank you."
 * "What a fool. That wand is priceless."
 * "I'll just string him along for now."
 * "Purple Wind, you'll soon breathe your last..."

Goodstyle

 * "Ah, not so hard, sir! Old Goodstyle begs you!"
 * "Oh, my! A NEW master! At your service, sir!"
 * "AH, yes, my new master! And I am known as...Goodstyle!"
 * "With merely a wave and a flourish, I've remade all of my masters!"
 * "Oh, I've changed paupers into princes! And I've turned zeroes into heroes!"
 * "I've even helped many former masters, such as HIM, turn into a master thief!"
 * "So whoever you really want to be... Goodstyle is at your service!"
 * "Ah, but I've jabbered so. Let me simply show you!"
 * "Good day, sir! Care to learn the secrets of thievery? Check out how to suit up. Oh! Check! So funny!"
 * "When disguised as Thief Wario, you can leap to tremendous heights, much like a cat burglar!"
 * "You should leap at every opportunity that comes your way! Your acrobatics are as quick as my puns!"
 * "You also possess a power that's rare among thieves: assault and battery! Fits you well, sir!"
 * "Bash anything that gets in your way! Put the "break" into breaking and entering!"
 * "If you ever need me to explain this all again, simply pause the action! I'll be delighted to assist!"
 * "But do you know how to open it?"
 * "What a novel way for a thief to open chests!"
 * "But it won't work, sir. They're too tough."
 * "Go get a closer look. I'll help pry it open."
 * "Indeed! I'll always tell you when we can begin."
 * "I'll use a picture to keep it short and sweet!"
 * "See? We're ready! Touch it to start!"
 * "Give it a try, sir! But first..."
 * "Hear me out, just a moment longer!"
 * "No, sir. I want every gem you find!"
 * "They're... They're...so delectable!"
 * "But more importantly, they're all Guise Gems!"
 * "Yes! The more I eat, the more disguises I make!"
 * "I can tell you're not going to like this..."
 * "Sir! If I may explain! If I eat those gems..."
 * "I can disguise you in ways that will help!"
 * "You can go more places with more disguises!"
 * "While your Thief Wario disguise will help..."
 * "More disguises will give you many more powers!"
 * "Think of it as an investment, sir!"
 * "I'll note your disguises on the upper screen."
 * "Eventually, you'll have quite a few of them!"
 * "Each gives you powers to start with..."
 * "Then superpowers after I get the right Mastery Gem."
 * "The Thief Wario outfit never upgrades, however!"
 * "Whew! Now go pry open that chest..."
 * "I think there's a tasty Guise Gem inside!"
 * "Cosmic Wario, low gravity awaits you! To suit up for service, draw a helmet on your head!"
 * "Cosmic Wario has the power of laser fire! Isn't technology magnificent? Try it! What straight shots!"
 * "Ah, and may I shoot from the hips with more ideas? Fire the laser at ropes and switches, too!"
 * "Spot on, sir! Attack the bag to get its coins!"
 * "Use different attacks to see which work best!"
 * "Ah, let me fill you in on a little detail about Count Cannoli, sir!"
 * "The Cannoli family also has access to a stockpile of high-tech trickery!"
 * "Good thing all of the machines have serious weaknesses!"
 * "Use your disguises and attacks to take advantage of the flaws!"
 * "I'll give you hints in the lower-left corner. Now good luck! I'm rooting for you, sir!"
 * "It appears the she-demon has fled to the underworld."
 * "Terrormisu met her match, thanks to you! She has fled our world at long last!"
 * "So perhaps...after all these years...my job is finally done."

Narrator

 * "We join Wario as he's searching his...er, mind...for ways to get rich."
 * "Our unlikely hero is about to be struck by inspiration from TV..."
 * "Ah, poor guy. And isn't that just the problem! Wario still isn't rich."
 * "A popular TV show about a master thief comes on the air..."
 * "In this show, a somewhat ordinary fellow walks up to a luxury liner..."
 * "Though Wario was trash-talking the TV thief, he really was insanely jealous."
 * "Wario keeps watching, drooling at the thought of being a master thief."
 * "And then it happened! The thief transformed! Wario drooled even more!"
 * "Yes, Wario had come up with one of his...er, brilliant ideas."
 * "Wario enters his secret HQ...er, back room, to make something."
 * "What a racket! What in the world is this idea Wario's come up with?"

Wario

 * "Bah! No treasure leads on the news!"
 * "Hmmm? What's this?"
 * "Who's this thief? This show looks good! Good way to kill an hour, at least!"
 * "This chump is a thief?"
 * "How's he gonna steal anything if he's dressed like such a bonehead?"
 * "Bah! I want in on the action! This guy ain't worthy!"
 * "Blech! What is this?! Amateur hour? If only... Yeah!! I got an idea!"
 * "I'm a genius! I'm so good I scare myself!"
 * "Yeah! It's done!!"
 * "Ta-dah!"
 * "If that moron can be on TV, so can I! I was born to be on the boob tube!"
 * "Behold the Telmet!"
 * "Television! Teleportin'! And, uh, it's a helmet."
 * "Let's fire this baby up!"
 * "It's meeee! On TeeeVeeee!"
 * "Whadda entrance! And for my big break in TV, too!"
 * "It worked! I'm a genius! I'm on that dork's show!"
 * "Hey, and ain't THAT extra-lucky! That Silver Heifer guy dropped his wand!"
 * "Don't know what this wand is good for, but at least I can scratch my back with it!"
 * "Or wait...it's good for somethin', right, shmancy-pants?"
 * "Who am I? ME?! I'm the star of this here show now...Wario!"
 * "Do I gotta beat it into your head? I'm Wario!"
 * "Wow! A talking wand! And it calls ME sir?!"
 * "Check out these duds! Now all's I need is a fancy name like the Silver Zipper..."
 * "Umm... Lemme see, I could be... No, that's not it. Maybe... Ha! Got it!!"
 * "The Purple Wind! Yes! Silent but deadly!"
 * "Good! Cuz you're not getting Goodstyle back!"
 * "Ah, bug off already! OK, Goodstyle..."
 * "Now that I'm all geared up, let's bust this ship open!"
 * "My first chest!"
 * "This Purple Wind stuff is already paying off!"
 * "Wha-! Oh, Goodstyle... It's you."
 * "These puny chests? I'll smash 'em open!"
 * "Then what do I gotta do?"
 * "Close enough for ya?"
 * "Spit it out! You want my autograph?"
 * "Guise Gems?"
 * "Who cares?!! This thief getup is good enough!"
 * "I'm keepin' all gems for myself. For ME!"
 * "Help Wario find MORE treasure?"
 * "I don't like the idea of losing treasure. But..."
 * "Count Cannoli? What a dumb name! Look who's a nobody now!"
 * "You're not getting this wand back!"
 * "Not gonna happen, chump!"
 * "What have we here?! A sack of cash!"
 * "What a dumb thief name! Purple Wind is better!"
 * " LET ME?! "
 * "I'll LET YOU keep that fancy hat, how's that?!"
 * "Traps? Those explosions? Thought I had gas? HA!"
 * "You fancy-pants freak! Just try it, Cannoli!"
 * " SMELL IT! "
 * "Silent but deadly! Smell the Purple Wind!"
 * "Bye, loser! I'm off to get rich!"
 * "This wand...instead of ALL the treasure?"
 * "Can it, Cannoli! Boo-hoo! Cry me a river! I don't care how great your family is!"
 * "I just want treasure! And lots of it! Hmm...you think there's a ton of it here?"
 * "Trying to read my mind, Cannoli? Don't bother! You'll find NOTHING!"
 * "But you got a deal. You help me get treasure. I give you the wand."
 * "Another piece of the Wishstone! About time that thing showed up!"
 * "What the... Whaaaaa! My tablet!"
 * "Hey, fertilizer-breath, that's mine! Give it back!"
 * " STUPID FLOWER!!!  "
 * "You talk too much! Outta my way, Carp-head!"
 * "What is that jerk doing?!"
 * "Now, you second-rate demon! Grant my wish!"
 * "Come back here, coward! Grant my wish!!"

Terrormisu

 * "Please, m'lord! Stop! I'd be devastated if you burned your sweet bacon!"
 * "Today's no day to be touring the caves, m'lord!You'll be burned to crispy bits!"
 * "Sweatmore Peak is churning with lava! Thank the stars I warned you in time!"
 * "Just a few steps farther and you'd have broken through the magma crust!"
 * "My name is unimportant! What matters is that you're safe!"
 * "No one can pass through the mountain's bowels to reach the other side now."
 * "Why did those men install that infernal crater-tapping machine? Woe is us!"
 * "I can't be certain, m'lord! With all that lava in there...?"
 * "You're not thinking of braving the crater, are you? Heaven Forbid!"
 * "Oh, catch me! I may faint! When you said that--wow!! You made me swoon!"
 * "You really mustn't go! But...if you must, find the Sweatmore Hotpants."
 * "Oh, what am I saying? You mustn't go! But...if you do, that gear will protect you."
 * "I shall simply DIE if you go! But one last thing: the basic Hotpants have limits!"
 * "Oh, Mr. Purple Wind!! Pardon me, m'lord!"
 * "You survived Sweatmore Peak! I was so scared for your safety!"
 * "You mustn't scare me like that again! I couldn't bear to lose you!"
 * "If there are hazards ahead, you must promise me that you won't face them!"
 * "Please, no, m'lord! You mustn't go to places like...oh, just as an example..."
 * "...Blowhole Castle ahead! Even if it holds riches beyond reason!"
 * "If you must, I shall go too! You see, it's a haunted castle, and I can help!"
 * "The royal family that dwells there shares its quarters with ghostly guests!"
 * "You'll see ghosts floating everywhere, often as harmless, insubstantial shades!"
 * "Harmless...until you use a spirit switch, which makes ghostly entities very real!"
 * "Oh, the horror! So don't touch those switches. Even YOU can't be that brave!"
 * "Oh, m'lord! May I please help? Pretty please? With sugar on top?"
 * "Oh, my! I can sense...such sadness! The spirits living in this castle are near!"
 * "My purple and windy lord, it's the honest truth! Let me commune with them!"
 * "Oh...yes...and... Oh, my... I see..."
 * "These dearly departed creatures! They're missing one of their friends!"
 * "It breaks my heart! M'lord, that's why they're all gathered here..."
 * "They'll leave, and let us through, if we bring back the missing spirit."
 * "Oh, I may weep! Please hold me if I cry! Their joy is overflowing! They're relieved"
 * "M'lord! I believe that an...unusual power is holding it shut."
 * "M'lord, fear not! Focus your efforts on overwhelming Stuffy the 64th!"
 * "He's invulnerable on the water, so try to get him on solid ground!"
 * "If you attack him out of the water, it may just fluster him to the point that..."
 * "...his concentration may weaken, and he'll lose his hold on the door!"
 * "When that happens, I'll pop open the door before he can shut it again!"
 * "M'lord, you trounced him! Oh, what excitement! I knew you'd do it!"
 * "No! It can't end! They're getting away!"
 * "I'll catch up with you, Purple Wind! Then you'll get what's coming to you..."
 * "Where are my manners?! I never told you my name!"
 * "If you couldn't tell, I'm sugar and spice, and everything nice...plus sprinkles!"
 * "I'm Tiaramisu! Nice to make your acquaintance at long last!"
 * "You say the nicest things, sweetie!"
 * "But, I'm afraid that we part ways here, my silent and deadly lord."
 * "I can go no farther. Not with my current power."
 * "Please be careful, dearest one. I feel HIS presence again. proceed...if you must!"
 * "Fabulous! The moment has finally arrived after so very, very long!"
 * "Oh, my foolish and fumbling lord! You've released me! I'm free as a bird!!"
 * "Yes, m'lord! It IS me! Or is it?! I sort of fibbed about my name, you see."
 * "It's not Tiaramisu. I'm not that sweet."
 * "It's Terrormisu! Fear me, you fools!"
 * "I simply must thank you for releasing me! Or should I say...unleashing me!"
 * "What a perfect gentleman you've been, helping me ever since Sweatmore Peak!"
 * "Fortunatelly, Sweatmore Peak is a nexus of dark power. It helped me...manifest."
 * "Though I was sealed in the Wishstone, I could still reach out to m'lord here!"
 * "Call a lady a monster, will you? You cad! HE'S the fiend! Right, my dear Wario?"
 * "So impatient, m'lord! Savor this moment! The best is yet to come!"
 * "Wheee! I'm giddier than a queen rolling in caviar! Let's have some REAL fun!"
 * "M'lord, just for FUN, let's take a look at the writing that's on the Wishstone!"
 * "I'm sure you've seen bits and pieces, but the story in full is quite different!"
 * "if I may interrupt, m'lord?! Yes, it was NOT a Wishstone at all!"
 * "It was certainly not MY wish to be sealed away for so many years!"
 * "So many greedy men have tried to collect the tablets over the years."
 * "Of course, this demon you see before you welcomed their efforts!"
 * ''"But every time someone...somewhere...tried to collect the tablets...
 * "That Cannoli fellow and his irritating family always got in the way!"
 * "And if it wasn't the Cannoli clan, it was that meddling Carpaccio family!"
 * "Both families...for ages...have kept the tablets from coming together!!"
 * "But this lovely demon you see before you has finally made her comeback."
 * "And I owe it all to the Purple Wind! My dearest, darling Wario!"
 * "I'm famished! I could devour a hundred souls! Hmm...how about an appetizer?"
 * "Who should I start with...?"
 * "That Cannoli clan really ticks me off! I'll crush you ALL like cockroaches!"
 * "But revenge on an empty stomach? I'll snack on YOU like a candy bar first!"
 * "Boo-hoo-hoo! Waaaah! You're so mean! I hurt all over!"
 * "You trip up a lady AND you want me to grant your wish?!"
 * "Who's the mean one NOW?!"
 * "Well, if it isn't m'lord! Tee hee!"
 * "Both of you...here in one place! I'm the luckiest girl in the world!"
 * "Don't be like that! Didn't we have good times?!"
 * "Truth is, I'll be going back just as soon as I've finished my business here."
 * "On my way back to my dimension, I dropped my best gown and my glasses."
 * "They're somewhere in this garden. I'll give a gift to whoever finds it first!"
 * "What, you ask?? The most beautiful gem from my dimension, is all!"
 * "Even after all that's happened between us, I can still count on you...m'lord"
 * "And I will be true to my word. Here's the most beautiful gem from my dimension!"
 * "Truly, I am the most beautiful gem from my dimension! Or, so it's said."
 * "Come be with me! Let us go together to my world!"
 * "With your brains and my brawn, I'm sure that we'll seize and conquer it all!"
 * "Wh-where are you off to?! Wait for me...my Purple Wind!"