Texas Tea

Texas Tea is the forty-forth live-action segment of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! Its corresponding animated episode is "The Trojan Koopa".

Plot Synopsis
In Mario Brothers Plumbing, both Mario and Luigi, wearing aprons, are in the midst of attempting to slice tomatoes, which is proving difficult, as the knives they are using are quite dull. As Mario complains to Luigi that the knives "couldn't cut jello" and states that they need new ones, Luigi responds by saying he should dream on, as they're both broke and can barely afford to keep their plumbing shop open, let alone buy new knives. Agreeing with Luigi, Mario laments that people aren't having plumbing problems anymore, saying that they just don't make pipes as leaky as they used to. Mario goes on to say that if business keeps going the way it is, he and Luigi will have to cut down on their overeating. Hearing Mario say this, Luigi retaliates by saying what does he mean "we" and proceeds to call Mario "roly-poly", which causes both Mario and Luigi to break out laughing.

After a good chuckle, Mario gathers up the bits and pieces of the tomato he was trying to cut earlier and asks Luigi to get him another one from the tomato garden they have in a bathtub nearby. Obliging to Mario's request, Luigi heads over to the tomato garden, saying that the tomatoes look good this year, which causes Mario to yell over to Luigi to get him some really fresh ones, and grabs a tomato plant and yanks from the dirt. After Luigi removes the tomato plant from the dirt, a small geyser of oil suddenly shoots upward out of the soil. As Luigi excitedly alerts him to the "black gold" that is spouting from their tomato garden, Mario rushes over and, along with Luigi, gets sprayed by the so-called "Texas tea", claiming that the two of them are now filthy rich, with an oil soaked Luigi also saying that they're filthy all right. After Luigi says this, Mario says he is going to try and cap the spouting oil.

As Luigi watches Mario clumsily fumble with a tomato plant near the oil, the apartment doorbell suddenly rings and a man dressed in a spotless white suit and cowboy hat enters, drawing both Mario and Luigi's attention. Asking who the man is, Luigi gets the response from him that he is Ted Bull, president of Bull Oil Company. Greeting Ted, Luigi tells him to come right in, which Ted does, descending the stairs into the workshop, where he proceeds to give Luigi his business card. Taking the card, Luigi introduces Ted to Mario, who greets Ted with a hearty handshake with his oil covered hand. Realizing his hand is covered in oil and that he has just coated Ted's hand with it as well, Mario apologizes, only to be told by Ted, who wipes his hand off on Mario's shirt, that its alright, as an oily handshake is the best kind of handshake. After greetings are done, Ted states to Mario and Luigi that he hears they struck oil, which causes a surprised Luigi that news travels fast. In response to Luigi's comment, Ted says he can smell a gusher a mile away and proceeds to tell him and Mario that he has a deal they can't refuse, one that will make them rich beyond their wildest dreams.

Later on, Mario lies on a brand new couch, surrounded by various new, expensive objects, and looks through a yacht magazine, asking the nearby Luigi if he should buy a blue two-hundred and fifty thousand, nine hundred dollar, forty-six foot yacht or a brown one. After Luigi replies to his question by saying he doesn't know, Mario simply states that with amount of money the two of them will be making, maybe he'll just buy both colors. After Mario says this, Luigi states that maybe they should have waited until Ted Bull had actually given them the cheque for their oil before they went out and splurged on so many expensive things. Telling Luigi to relax, Mario says that they will have the money to pay for everything and goes on to say that it will be great not having to settle for being second best from now on, saying that now they can enjoy the finer things in life. Sitting down on the couch with Mario, Luigi agrees with him, stating that now they can have things like vacations and be able to eat pizza in indoor restaurants, and also have furniture they didn't just find. As Luigi says all this, Mario states that Mama Mario will be so proud of them for becoming so wealthy, which Luigi agrees with, saying that this is the life.

Later on, a diamond covered Mario and white suited Luigi are in the middle of relaxing on new chairs, surrounded by crates and boxes of various things they've bought. Relaxing, Mario states that he loves they're new style of life. Though he agrees with Mario, Luigi voices his concern that he hopes Ted Bull arrives with their cheque soon, as their bills are piling up. After saying this, Luigi asks Mario to go get him a cup of oil, saying he just wants to gaze at pure money. Doing as Luigi asks, Mario gets up and heads to their oil well with a cup, only to see the oil well give a few pathetic spurts before dying. Panickingly, Mario tells Luigi the well has gone dry. Getting up, Luigi begins to rush over to Mario and the well, just as a group of repo men enter and begin to take the boxes and crates containing all of Mario and Luigi's recent purchases. Asking what is going, Luigi is told by a repo man, who drops a crate on his foot, that "you don't pay, it don't stay".

As the repo men take everything away, Ted Bull arrives and tells Mario and Luigi that he's sorry to hear about their dried-up well, saying he can't do business with them unless they have oil. Saying that news must travel fast if Ted has heard about their dried-up well, Mario, along with Luigi, is reminded by Ted that he can smell a gusher a mile away. As Ted leaves Mario Brothers Plumbing after telling Mario and Luigi that if they strike oil again, to call him, Edison suddenly bursts out of his manhole and informs Mario and Luigi that he has fixed their leaky oil pipe and asks if they are proud of him. After telling him proud isn't the word they would use, a confused Edison leaves through his manhole, leaving Mario and Luigi to lean on each other and begin to quietly sob.

Trivia

 * When Mario, Luigi and Ted Bull do the "Til' next time... Do the Mario!" routine at the episode's end, the theme music that normally plays when this is done is absent.


 * Due to unspecified legal complications, "Texas Tea" is absent in Shout! Factory's DVD boxset release of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!