The 'Shroom:Issue II/Fake News

Fake News by



"What's Adventure Two?"

- User:Wayoshi

Banjo = Playbear?

Banjo, of the hit musical Banjo-Kazooie meet Halo, is going to be in the new B.K Penny catalog this summer, according to photographer, Jolly Roger. "He has such a great butt for this" the flamboyant frog has said many times in our interview.

A Concert commending Banjo's new modeling Carrier is scheduled Feb. 17, 2007 at the Hagg-o-Mall. Tickets are on sail now at the BanjoWiki super-plex at Gobi's Valley.

Rare has also indicated that a new Banjo game will be released for the Xbox in light of this, Banjo - Thong or no Thong? and is rated ABW - Anyone But Wayoshi.

His lover, Kazooie, was found cheating on him with Gruntilda Winkybunion. Apparently she thought Grunty was an overly attractive man. They are expecting a baby in mid-June.

Sports

Golfing Mario scored a couple birdies, but overall sucked, showing Nintendo's mascot has always been the worst player in all his sports games. Mario was booed off the field, as Yoshi took home the Gold Trophy and DK took the silver.

Soccer Various Birdos and Toads were abandoned by their captains (Peach and Waluigi) during a crucial tournament. The captains left to "Go to the bathroom" and the Birdos and Toads started licking each others' butts.

Baseball Wario hit a grand slam and beat Monty Mole 's team 11-10. Tragically, as Wario ran the winning run, he tripped and riped the seam of his suspenders. The site of his Buttox killed all in rows 1-9 on all sides of the stadium. And there were 10 rows in the stadium!

Wario is now being convicted of main slaughter and will need to get his butt amputated and must excrete waste through his nose the rest of his life. (see obituaries for more info)

Football The Mushroom Kingdom Shrooms beat the eagles last night, 40-30. Bowser, QB, had to get his genitals removed, for he crushed them during this super Bowl. He's now looking for a latter, a robe, and a shotgun from KB Toys. He says Kids toys are the most deadly, so that’s understandable. Look for him in obituaries come March's third issue!

Kart Racing Four racers last night were eaten alive by Chain Chomps while racing through Luigi Raceway. At the moment medics say they are so disfigured that confirming their identity is impossible. Their remains were fed to Bubba shortly after. Please note all mushroom kingdom medics are experienced In the field of disposing bodies.

Basketball This was the only game this month that didn't have something go abnormally wrong. With it, as such, the reporter for this sports game, Meatloaf, got bored and left the stadium without any notes, not even what teams played!

Top 5 Singles


 * 1) All I Want is Love'n and Stars – The Mario Bros.
 * 2) How do I get on that ledge ya freak? – Toad, Toad, and Frog
 * 3) Spank me princess one more time – Wario Loaf
 * 4) 1-UP – I'm-Diddy
 * 5) ''Koopa Rock – B. JR

Obituaries Wario committed suicide last night after his butt was amputated from a mishap at a Baseball game (see the baseball section of the Sports section for details). He threw himself out of a skyscraper in Mushroom City, only to land on an old lady, bounce back up, and impale himself at the tip point of the skyscraper.

Jamjars died today after his troop of moles ambushed a duck Military Base. He was eaten by the general duck, who fed Jamjars troops to his wife, Mother Goose.

Wayoshi, a close friend to few, passed away today, when "someone" made him play Diddy Kong Racing DS. He apparently died of a heart attack, for he heard so much bad reviews of it, that when he played it, he was so overjoyed, he had a heart attack as stated earlier. We will miss him, or will we?

DKWIKI died last week when wiki goers overpowered the votes to have it shut down. Sir Grodus and Sons of Sons went into the Wiki camp to retrieve article, they were never the same again when they returned.