MarioWiki:BJAODN

The Bad Jokes and other Deleted Nonsense Archive is the MarioWiki highly-daring, highly controversial special archive! Its purpose? To document bad writing: the most amusing and badly thought-out written text in the world!

On a more serious note, the BJAODN archive was created as a way of storing vandalism and general poor writing that users consider to be humorous. The archive is open for anyone to edit, as long as the added content answers one golden criteria: It must be funny.

Before you edit, please read these few rules:


 * This is not a general vandalism archive. It is true that what may be considered "humorous" depends of opinions, but common sense should play a part here. The Mario page being replaced with something along the lines of "MARIO IS A (insert swear word here)" is not funny, it's stupid and obnoxious. Use your brain! Also, only articles and "joke" proposals are allowed in the archive. No user talk or any other namespaces.
 * In no way there should be an edit war about removing a specific section. As said earlier, everyone has different criteria for what is humorous. However, there is an exception: If something you wrote happens to be archived, you can remove it if you find it offending. However, you shouldn't be offended about something you wrote being archived. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, and beside, we are laughing at the writing itself, not the writer.

Now, let the nonsense begin!

Airship
[...]Flying ships that are probably Airships will appear in the upcoming Super Mario Galaxy. A screenshot shows various Airships flying through space. It is unknown if these ships really are Airships or some other kind of flying ship.[...]

(So, are they airships or not?)

A Mario Halloween
It's Halloween. Mario and friends are thinking it's going to it's a scary night.Until the mummy of Toadsworth's brother returns to haunt the Living.

(Notice how it says it's going to be a scary night until the mummy appears).

Attack of the People Named Nicole Mills
The movie stars Jen Taylor, Charles Martinet, Nicole Mills,, and Bob Hoskins.

Beezo
Beezos are a sub-species of Shy Guys that first appear in Super Mario Bros. 2. These types of species appear to have tridents armed as weapons. In addition to their physical appearance, they also have wings on their back; capable of flying.

Beezos attack by flying towards Mario or one of his friends using their pitchfork and then get within contact towards the character. They normally appear in packs as they proceed to attack the character that was played by the player. Beezos in packs endlessly appear on the screen; they won’t leave the character alone until the character leaves the current level the player is currently playing in.

To defeat them, there are two methods of basic defeating. The players can use the Vegetables that appeared growing in the ground or other throwable objects and throw it to one of them. Sadly, more and more Beezos will endlessly arrive by proceeding to attack the character. Another method is by first simply jumping on one of them, pick up the unit that the character is standing on and can throw it towards another Beezo.

Beezos reappear in Super Mario Advance, as the same attack methods exist being used. During gameplay, if the player defeats a single Beezo, the player acquires 4000 points total.

A similar species called a Shy Away appears in Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars.

Appearances In Other Media Cartoons

Beezos made several appearances on The Super Mario Bros Super Show!, usually serving as guards.

Trivia
 * Beezos are found in two colors: red and pink (in newer versions they are pink and brown).
 * In Luigi's Mansion, Beezos are referenced by Shy Guy ghosts that could levitate and were armed with a pitchfork.

Big Bob Omb
[...]Strangely, the cannonballs in Super Mario 64 looked just like him, only without any features except the body.[...]

Brobot L-Type
[...]Its HP amount is a reference to the Nintendo 64, since, as seen in Luigi's Diary in Paper Mario, he likes Nintendo 64s (at least at the time of Paper Mario), since he wonders excitedly if the Shy Guys have a Nintendo 64. [...]

Can't figure out how to download an icon (help don't help me)
.

Condor
Go to Klepto for more info.

Courtyard
[...]Luigi entered the Courtyard after defeating the evil phantasm Bogmire.[...]

The Dinosaurs
[...]The Dinosaurs are a group of, as the name indicates,inhabiting Diamond City[...]

(It should be noted that, unlike what the article says, the Dinosaurs are not prehistoric monsters: They are a Pizza chain.)

Dodo
[...]However, he unhealthily holds in his anger, which he releases by pecking golden statues of his boss. [...]

(This is a wiki about the Mario series, not a repository of health advices for fictional characters.)

Fly (Charizard)
The same as kirby's iflate.

Good Egg Galaxy
[...]good egg galaxy is the place where the ops who wont ban me for spamming chat's decapited heads lie on stakes[...]

In The Clouds
in the clouds is a level in yoshi's island ds. it has many enimies and here are some:

flip guy mufti guy pihranha plants lakuitus sluggers spineys

where you start of you go to the first cloud. it would be quite usefull to use peach. bounce up the clouds to get to the moving cloud with the dots. once you jump on it, you will be moved up to the first flower.when it is about to go of the edge, jump right on the cloud in bettween the two cloud drops.jump that cloud onto the second cloud then keep jumping on the clouds. when on the last cloud where you cant see any more, flutter jump on forward to get onto a big cloud with a flip guy and a cloud above you. jump onto the cloud with dotted lines coming out of the cloud shaping a hook. jump down to the cloud in bettween the cloud your on and the cloud next to it and jump up to the cloud above then jump of that cloud onto the cloud at the top and jump up that cloud to see a cloud with arrows pointing right. continue on. now it gets tricky.get onto the first cloud circling around and then get onto the cloud that goes up the big 's' infront of you. when at the top, you wait till the cloud circling gets to a point where you can get on it. then once it gets to the backwards 's' you either jump onto the cloud that is availible or flutter down the 's' till you get onto that cloud (depends on timing). after that there is a cloud on yet another backwards 's' that always meets with your cloud. when you get to this point jump onto the cloud. after that you then meet another circling cloud and you flutter onto it. you then meet another cloud that will follow the dotted line. jump on it. once you get to the curve at the top, quickly jump of onto the small cloud and bounce onto the bigger cloud you will see an arrow in the sky. follow that way. if you have dk then you can explore around that part but if not then ignore it. keep following the arrows in the sky.once you get to the end of the bouncy clouds then you need to bounce up to the cloud following the dotted lines. heads up for the cloud drop that id above the dotted lines. once you get off the cloud you follow the arrows to the next area. continue on and get the middle ring. jump on to the cloud with the three coins. then you jump on the mufti guy (shy guy in a bunch of flowers) or hit him with an egg (if you have any...) to get him into the museum. then jump on to the bouncy cloud to get to the cloud with an arrow on it. this part is harsh. jump on to the fickle blocks and hit the switch and jump onto the 3 fickle blocks. jump onto the top and jump at the switch andgo onto the flip side. jump to the next 3 fickle blocks. keep going till you reach the next set and hit the switch to get onto the next set. then hit the switch to flip them and there will be loads of fickle blocks to stand on. jump and in mid-air hit the switch do the same again and get on to the next set of fickles where there is an arrow pointing at the switch. set your egg to hit the block and flutter towards the outlined blocks while hitting the block (try and calculate how to do this). when you got to the last two fickle blocks, hit the piranha plant with an egg (or jump over it and hit the middle ring to get an extra star!!!). continue on.this is much harder when it is in the moon light with the screen moving you forward while dropping down holes with lakuitus throwing spineys at you!!! 'course it wont afect me because i have 381 lives!!! anyway moving on. just keep to the screen and jump across the clouds to safety. don't worry about the falling seeds they can only hurt you if they hit you. lakuitus are easy to avoid as well. if you have made it of the bouncy clouds you will find a stork stop. change to peach if you havn't already. get to the point with the circle-moving cloud. look in front- there is a slugger (batsman). slam down on him to defeat him. keep going along the clouds kill the third slugger and don't worry about the piranha plant (unless you are realy dum and decided to go under the cloud!!). He can't hurt you. jump of that cloud and jump onto the bouncy cloud. bounce up to the next bouncy cloud. then jump onto the cloud that goes up and down. jump onto the next cloud (at this point it gets faster!!). make your way across the clouds and when you get to the cloud with the last flower above it, it gets slower! now if you are dk the you can get the character coin and jump over the piranha. if not, then hit the pirahna with an egg. if no eggs the you will have a lucky jump over it!!! well we made it to the finish!!!!

(It should be noted that this article was so bad that a proposal was created because of it.)

Koopaling
[...] How he treats them is debatable as he has never had any intercourse with them besides the credits of Super Mario World. [...]

("Sickest Typo I ever saw." - User:Sir Grodus)

Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is a game where Link must save the s from the

Life Shroom
[...]The simplest items in the game can make Life Shrooms, so Mario should stock up on the useless flora because they'll pay off later. [...]

Lucas
[...]Lucas may be related to Snufit Ball, as the first part of the names start with the "oo" sound. Whether Miyamoto planned this, or if it is just a weird coincidence.[...]

Luigi
[...] ...Most fans are pretty sure that Luigi hates King Boo a lot because of Boos seem to be his worst fear or the fact that King Boo captured Mario. [...]

Mama mia
Mama mia is one of mario,s many popular lines in the video games. other characters such as Link titleLuigi, Peach, and Wario.

Mario (Species)
Mario (species)

Marios are identical mustachioed human race who love to play with each other, or any Nintendo characters including the real Mario. They first appear in the upcoming game called, Mario's Mirror Mania where he is divided into eight of them with many colors.

Biology

A Mario's best feature is his moustache, which keeps him cute and playful. While playing with him, you'll pull his moustache, stretch it back and let it go to drive him nuts. Just like Mario, his species use to jump, run, slide and kick their way. They probably hug and take care of each other while they have white gloves, along with their color. Marios also have eyes, these are related to Mario's. He himself has blue, and the others' have different colored, except for the others in Super Smash Bros Brawl.



Outfit Pigment

The color of their hat and shirt can be anything, even black and white. They can change their color by grabbing a fireflower, and yet their colors are related to Yoshis or the Neopets from the Neopets website. In the Super Smash Bros series, a player changes one of a Mario's five or six colors when they chose him. In the upcoming game Mario's Mirror Mania, Marios had abilities depending on their color and Mirror Mushrooms. If a Pink Mario gets a Mirror Mushroom, it could hurl love-hearts at foes. If a Green Mario gets a Mirror Mushroom, it could use earthquake. Their overalls' color is in conjuction with their clothes, except their pair of brown shoes; a red Mario has blue overalls, a blue Mario has pink overalls, ect.

Mario Bros. (Stage)
It's a brawl stage.

(Very informative.)

Mario Kart: Dash to the Max
One of the sequels of the Mario Kart series. Mario Kart: Dash to the Max is a game of speed, skill, and knowledge.

COURSES:

Some of these courses are owned by the Mario characters. Mario Kart: DTTM is a game of trials and grand prixs.

Mario Circuit Luigi's Mansion Peach Plaza Mushroom Village Yoshi Canyon DK Mountains Wario Ruins Bowser Colloseum Baby Mario Dome Daisy Gardens

UNLOCKABLE:

Mushroom Streets Waluigi Mines Bowser Jr. Plateaus Mushroom Kingdom Stardom Fortress

CHARACTERS

The featured characters may have appeared in other series, some may haven't appeared as main drivers.

CHARACTERS

Mario Luigi Peach Toad Bowser Bowser Jr. Yoshi Baby Mario Daisy Donkey Kong Diddy Kong Wario Waluigi Boo Koopa Troopa

UNLOCKABLE:

Baby Luigi Petey Pirahna Shy Guy Toadette Birdo

WI-FI

Wiggler Magikoopa Fly Guy

N64
[...]The Controller is highly unique in the fact that it has three handles, instead of two as most controls(and most human beings' number of hands[...]

Hary Blackstone Jr.
Harry Blackstone Jr. (June 30, 1934 – May 14, 1997) (occasionally shortened to simply Blackstone) is a famous, currently deceased magician who has appeared in The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!.[...]

Old Man Skoo
[...]It is also unknown what species Old Man Skoo was during his lifetime, although the instance of "koo" in his name may suggest that he was a Koopa. [...]

(Using this logic, King K. and King K. Rool may be related because they have similar names.)

Orange Yoshi
[...] |An Orange Yoshi later reappeared in Yoshi's Island DS, and was only playable on the sixth level of each world. Many people mistake this Orange Yoshi with the Brown Yoshi, who was playable on the sixth level of each world in Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island. However, Orange Yoshi and Brown Yoshi are two different Yoshi colors. [...]

Peti pirhana
Peti is an Flower who is very good at being bad! He has recently appeared in mario strikers charged football. He is not a very nice flower because mario was not nice to him, that was when luigi turned against mario. He is rarely with maro now, he is with bowser!

Pirate Goomba
Pirate Goomba is a pirate Goomba.

Pirate Goombaa
Pirate Goombaa is an upgraded version of Pirate Goomba.

"Somehow, I doubt it."

- User:Paper Jorge

Shy Guy
Yoshi is the main enemy of the Shy Guy clan. Yoshi has more abilities than an alone Shy Guy, making easy for him eat it and turning it in an egg. In the sports games, Shy Guy and Yoshi don't show any rivalry.

Mario is another Shy Guys's enemy. In Super Mario Bros. 2 Mario has to defeat the Shy Guy clan to defeat Wart. In Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island Mario (as Baby Mario) rides Yoshi and fight with the Bowser army (including Shy Guys) to rescue his brother Luigi (as Baby Luigi). Mario and Shy Guys's rivalry isn't too hard in recent games.

In many games Bowser is the leader of the Shy Guy clan. The Shy Guys work for Bowser trying to do bad things, but they aren't bad.

Wart is the original leader of the Shy Guy in Super Mario Bros. 2 and Doki Doki Panic. These are the only Mario games where Wart is shown at Shy Guys's leader.

(The humorous thing about this is that it's a relationship section about a species, but written like the Shy Guys were a single character. It would be like writing about the relation between various things Mario eat in the Paper Mario series.)

Shyguys secret meeting Room
Shy guys rule: 1 Always be kind to your friends and family

2. Never give up

3. Never lie

4. Help others

5. Bee good

Smash Planet
Smash Planet was a game originally going to be a game for the Nintendo Gamecube. It was announced at E3 2004 and an in issue of Nintendo Power in August 2005. Fans were waiting for the game but it never came. For unknown reasons it was announced cancelled. It's possibe that its elements went in for Super Smash Bros. Brawl because Wario and Ike were originally going to appear in Smash Planet and they're playabe characters in Brawl.

Snufit Ball
A Snufit Ball is a small black orb that Snufits spit out of their tubular mouths at Mario in Super Mario 64 and Super Mario 64 DS. They can easily be avoided, but will hurt Mario by one damage point if he touches them.

1 Player Luigi Game
1. First, use the select button or minus button to choose 2 Player Game on the title screen. 2. When the game begins run Mini Mario straight into the Goomba. He will lose a life. 3. Then you'll be able to play as Luigi. 4. If Luigi loses a life you will switch back to Mario. Just keep having Mario lose a life until he gets a Game Over. Then continue on as Luigi.

The Impossible? maze
[...]The Impossible? Maze is the 4th extra level of Super Mario Advance 3:Yoshi's island. It,obviously,seems impossible-however it IS possible, no doubt.[...]

("Uh, yeah..." - User:Time Q)

Tiptron MK. II
[...]His name is a reference to Custom Robo.[...]

(Is the real-world Panzer MK IV tank a reference to Custom Robom too?)

Torpedo Ted
[...]The Torpedo Ted was launched from offscreen, therefore, it's launcher was never shown....i hate my life[...]

("I'm sorry to hear that. Now go take your emoness elsewhere." User:Smashgoom202 )

World 2-1 (NSMB)
world 2-1.