List of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! quotes

This is a list of quotes from the television show The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!. They are listed by character.

Bingo

 * "Dude, wait, wait, wait! Didn't the great Fire God say to sacrifice her at sundown?"

Mario of the Deep

 * "Eh, go suck on a sewer pipe! I can take ye with seven arms behind me back!"
 * "Bad news, your royal Barra-Koopness. The Mario Brothers have arrived in Aqua Land."
 * "Oh foul and putrid Koopaness, I bring you the last gold coins from the sunken ships of Aqua Land."

Cabbie

 * "Hey, what's that ugly, fat reptile doin' with the Coney Island sign?"
 * "That bum's got nerve bigger than his schnozzola! Hey fatso, get back in the zoo!"
 * "Koopa Island, Kooplyn Bridge, that slob's ruinin' civilization! I'm goin' for da cops! Close the door!"
 * "Don't worry guys, I'll be back with da cops in three minutes! Then I'll expect a triple tip!"

Cheepy

 * "M-m-mommy! Little Cheepy want mommy!"
 * "Little Cheepy want his mommy!"
 * "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Mommy! I want my mommy-y-y-y-y!"

Caveboy

 * "A mazza mash o potato." ("Scram this way.")
 * "Mackey glana pan cakey oo maple syrup." ("Over the next hill.")
 * "Baggat banana splita!" ("We'll take a shortcut!")

Cops

 * "Stop, ya crook! Take off your dumb disguise and bring back that loot!"

Dr. Nerdnick

 * "Laumple daumple dee square pie square Koopa Robo werner dinner quart." ("I'm glad to see you, Bunsen.")
 * "Mipper Bunsen seagull muggle wetter mer dactylmutz." ("The button on the left.")
 * "Mamba bumble saltser kvyken mastein!" ("You can't!")
 * "Stuggle mcgurgle snifit snukonz certain cackle dackle." ("Electricity and water don't mix. Get outta here before you get electrocuted.")
 * "Rumpa radarn vortex kvodorlets stumple thumple!" ("I'm gonna build you two into a robot that can defeat Robo Koopa!")
 * "Ritfawk safety wafety!" ("You guys don't have to worry because his suit is about to run out of fuel unless he pushes the big red button on his chest!")
 * "Ifty fifty foolis voosh!" ("This time I fibbed! The red button was for the ejector seat!")
 * "Foosh! Dopey smoke!" ("This is the present for you and Luigi!")
 * "Overlord crayenda vennabinez svetta!" ("I agree! That's why I've converted it into a Robo Pizza Oven!")

Day of the Orphan

 * "Now let me see here, if I move my bishop four to queen six, uh, no, no, no, because if I do that, then I won't be able to this one here. But then again if I move that one here, then I can move this one here."
 * "Well of course if I move this one here-"
 * "Yes?"
 * "Well, I have a move here!"
 * "Okay, here it is!"
 * "That's my move."
 * "That's it!"
 * "That's it?"
 * "That's your move?"
 * "Checkmate! Hahahahahahaha, I just beat you there, look at that!"
 * "Checkmate! Hahehehehehehehehehehehe, go get that, heheha!"

Magic's Magic

 * "I'm open!"
 * "Slam dunk, and the crowd roars!"

Cher's Poochie

 * "Consider it done there, Mario!"
 * "Okie-dokie, all pizza transforming systems are go!"

Wild Thing

 * "Oh hey, listen, yeah. *cough* *cough* Sure I am, uh, youse guys got enough power here for the whole weekend!"

Time Out Luigi

 * "Wow! What was that?"

Texas Tea

 * "Hey you guys, I just wanted to let you know that I fixed that leaky oil pipe! Aren't ya proud of me?"

The Bird! The Bird!

 * "It's them! Princess Toadstool and those two faucet freaks! Come on Flaky, let's tell King Koopa so we can put 'em on ice for good."
 * "Thank you, your extremest most royal and regal Koopaness."
 * "We have important news, your royal Koopaness. The princess and her plumbers survived the avalanche"

The Koopas are Coming! The Koopas are Coming!

 * "Uh, it's only midnight exalted leader. Have patience."
 * "In the dark?"
 * "All ready in front, exalted one, but what if General Washingtoad sneaks up from behind?"
 * "I-I don't know, magnificent mentor. Why?"
 * "Maybe it was one of them."
 * "Let go! Hey!"

Grandma Mario
Note that Grandma Mario speaks through The Old Psychic Lady with the Evil Eye Who Reads Fortunes and Knows Everything Before it Happens, but with her voice instead of The Old Psychic Lady's.


 * "Mario, you slovenly garbanzo!"
 * "Look at this place! Look at this place! She's a, uh, how do you say, um..."
 * "Shaddap you face and don't talk back to me!"
 * "That's what I mean though, she's a dump! Breaks my poor heart. I'm a laughingstock, you know!"
 * "No!"
 * "Mamma mia, is too stupido. Look, bambini, this-a what you do. You clean up the mess, you wash behind the ears, you clip-a the nose hairs, then maybe I can rest easy, even in Newark."

The Trojan Koopa

 * "Hey, get a load of that! It looks like... like a bathtub with six legs!"
 * "That's right! So you good guy geeks might as well just quit now!"
 * "We gotta score to settle sink wimps!"
 * "Yeah! It's plumber pummeler time!"
 * "I'll finish off these scum bums!"
 * "Says you! This is a job for an executin' expert! Me!"
 * "This is humiliatin! Tricked, trapped, and..."
 * "Dressed up like plumbers."
 * "Help turn this thing around so we can get back to King Koopa's fort."
 * "Yeah! We're gonna pulverize those pipe squeaks!"
 * "Prepare to be slammerized!"

Hildy

 * "Take it from me Queen Rotunda, this is the best love potion I ever mixed!"
 * "Once sip of my passion potion your highness, and he'd fall in love with tree stump. We'd only have to be sure you are the first person he sees after he drinks this glop."
 * "Here Rotunda, take this love gunk with you in case you bump into that hot throb, Prince Pompadour."
 * "I think I'll drink a toast to Rotunda for not marrying that silly, little plumber."
 * "Oh you hunky love muffin, you! I've been looking for you all my life!"

The Great Gladiator Gig

 * "Uh, how about doin' another trick and getting me some more oats."
 * "No oats, no work. Sorry, fat boy!"

Treasure of the Sierra Brooklyn

 * "Inspector Gadget here!"
 * "Well hold on Luigi, I'll be right over to give you a hand! Go go gadget bike!"
 * "I said I'd be right over to give you a hand!"

King Koopa

 * "Koopa Pack, attack!" - Various episodes
 * "He who koops and runs away lives to koop another day!" - Various episodes
 * "Watch it soldier, when I want my feet licked, I'll ask for it! {quickly} I want my feet licked." - "The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "Like my grandfather Poopa La Koopa always said: "Cheat, beat, and be merry!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid"
 * "Don't know what I'd do without my carpet phone!" - "Mario's Magic Carpet"
 * "I'll get you for this, you pesky plumbers! A Koopa never forgets!" - "Mario's Magic Carpet"
 * "Happy? Imposter! I never use the H word." - "Rolling Down the River"
 * "Fool! Those pinhead plumbers are bound to try to rescue Princess Toadstool, and I intend to capture them before they do." - "Rolling Down the River"
 * "Don't question my orders, you rotten rodent! Just do it!" - "Rolling Down the River"
 * "Don't interrupt me, not while I'm boasting and gloating!" - "Rolling Down the River"
 * "Stop wisecracking, mushroom, or I'll turn you into soap!" - "Rolling Down the River"
 * "One of the nice things about being evil is... you get to lie a lot. Ha ha." - "The Great Gladiator Gig"
 * "Fum fee fi fo! I smell the brothers Mario!" - "Mario and the Beanstalk"
 * "That goose is gonna smother you brothers!" - "Mario and the Beanstalk"
 * "OK, that does it! You're all gonna be Koopatized!" - "The Great BMX Race"
 * "There'll be other crooked races and other ways to cheat!" - "The Great BMX Race"
 * "You're breaking my heart, princess! Now, get to work! Now that you and these Quirks are my slaves, I got other planets to plunder! *laughs*" - "Stars in Their Eyes"
 * "You call that music? Stop that racket! I hate that music! I hate spaghetti! I hate Quirks! I hate those faucet freaks!" - "Stars in Their Eyes"
 * "Alright! Which one of you messed up? Who ruined all my sneaky underhanded plans?" - "Jungle Fever"
 * "Thank you, princess! You saved me all the trouble of hunting you down! You're so nice to me!" - "Jungle Fever"
 * "The courage beyond compare, the bravery beyond description, I praise this great hero, the superior fiend... me. Koopa Khan the magnificent. If I didn't deserve this, I wouldn't give it to me." - "Brooklyn Bound"
 * "Last one into the cave is a goodie-goodie!" - "Brooklyn Bound"
 * "Goodbye, jerkos! And don't come back!" - "Brooklyn Bound"
 * "Those annoying wrench-heads won’t ruin my evil plan! Prepare an ambush, Mouser! Make road pizzas out of them!" - "Toad Warriors"
 * "These fireballs are fantastic! Think of the destruction; think of the wreckage; think of how much this'll lower my heating bill!" - "The Fire of Hercufleas"
 * "Mouser! More marshmallows!" - "The Fire of Hercufleas"
 * ''"Say ciao to your friends, Princess Toadstool. That's goodbye in Italian, because when you see 'em again, you'll be a tomato sauce sucking vampire, just like me! - "Count Koopula"
 * "Fire a warning shot! ... On second thought, blow the plumber-boys and the Princess right off the boat!" - "Pirates of Koopa"''
 * "Listen up, you reptile retches! It's time to play 'Auction the Princess'! Do I hear one-thousand gold coins? Remember, the money goes to my favorite charity... Me." - "Pirates of Koopa''
 * "I'm rich! I'm filthy, stinkin', mouth-watering rich!" - "Pirates of Koopa"''
 * "Ga ga goo goo! Now you terrible tots will do all my chores, while I play!" - "Two Plumbers and a Baby"
 * "Stop, or I'll tell on you!" - "Two Plumbers and a Baby"
 * "I'll be back to get you! When I grow up!" - "Two Plumbers and a Baby"
 * "Rotten reptiles! It's that pasta-eatin' plumber!" - "The Adventures of Sherlock Mario"
 * "You don't scare me, you linguini-lickin' losers!" - "The Adventures of Sherlock Mario"
 * "I'm gonna turn these two fat little plumbers into two flat little plumbers." - "Do You Princess Toadstool Take This Koopa...?"
 * "Keep your crown on! You want people to think I'm marrying a nag?" - "Do You Princess Toadstool Take This Koopa...?"
 * "Boogie with Koopa, you fungus brats! Boogie right into my double-dealing clutches! Gwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! (playing flute)" - "The Pied Koopa"
 * "Mouser, this is not a nursery school! This is an evil castle!" - "The Pied Koopa"
 * "No one is that stupid!" - "Koopenstein"
 * "Oh, goody-goody! The Tunnel of Doom! My favorite!" - "On Her Majesty's Sewer Service"
 * "When I get my mitts on you, you're gonna be creamed, Mushroom!" - "Too Hot to Handle"
 * "I'm always ready for sneaky badness!" - "Too Hot to Handle"
 * "I love being rotten!" - "Too Hot to Handle"
 * "Just because I said it doesn't mean I meant it!" - "Too Hot to Handle"
 * "You mean I can't destroy the island? I hate those Marios! They always spoil my fun!" - "Too Hot to Handle"
 * "You were hoodwinked by Hooded Robin! I'm gonna pluck that bird nerd wing from wing!" - "Hooded Robin and His Mario Men"
 * "Kiss Koopa's feet and I'll gladly get rid of the sea monster for ya!" - "20,000 Koopas Under the Sea"
 * "Let's ram 'em, slam 'em, and ruin their day!" - "20,000 Koopas Under the Sea"
 * "Pesky persnickety plumbers! I wish they'd never been invented!" - "20,000 Koopas Under the Sea"
 * "Mouser, if anything happens to the princess, I'll turn you into Swiss cheese!" - "Mighty McMario and the Pot of Gold"''
 * "Too late! His gorgeous self is here!" - "Mighty McMario and the Pot of Gold"''
 * "Run, you teensy tempura tasters! I'm gonna squash this city flatter than a tofu pancake!" - "Mario Meets Koop-zilla"
 * "Scram, pests, or I'll call an exterminator!!" - "Mario Meets Koop-zilla"
 * "'"Stand still so I can squash ya, you little vermin!"'' - "Mario Meets Koop-zilla"
 * "Ba humkoop!" - "Koopa Klaus"
 * "Plug your ears and watch your rears! We're goin' Bob-Omb bowlin'" - "The Unzappables"
 * "Let's stash this cash and dash!" - "The Unzappables"
 * "Gosh, this tyrant business is hard work! I'm too pooped to Koop! Think I'll take a Koopa catnap." - "The Ten Koopmandments"
 * "Lousy lizards! This is enough to make a grown Koopa cry!" - "The Ten Koopmandments"
 * "You call yourself an army, you miserable misfits? Why am I cursed with such incompetents?!" - "The Koopas are Coming! The Koopas are Coming!"
 * "It's those dumber plumbers, the Mario Bros.!" - "The Trojan Koopa"
 * "It's... it's... it's horrible! It's disgusting! It's me!" - "The Trojan Koopa"
 * ''"And you're gonna spend the rest of your life digging for it! Hahahahaha!" - "The Great Gold Coin Rush"
 * "More! I want more! More!" - "The Great Gold Coin Rush"
 * "Make way for the big daddio, the headman, the new king of Sock Hop Land: Koopa, the Kool!" "Elvin Lives"
 * "Come back here! We got a date for the prom!" "Elvin Lives"
 * "No way, José! They'll never catch the Koopilac! I got dual carbs! I got four on the floor!" "Elvin Lives"
 * "When you hurt Koopa's nose, you've blown it!" - "Plummers Academy"
 * "In just a few minutes, the bidding for Princess Toadstool and her slimy friend Toad will begin! So drink up your Koopa Kola!" - "Karate Koopa"
 * "Welcome aboard Air Albatoss. This is your Koopa speaking. This flight is non-stop 'til ya drop!" - "Mario of the Apes"
 * "We're gonna celebrate the capture of those faucet freaks by letting me win a baseball game." - "Princess, I Shrunk the Mario Brothers"
 * "Now is plumber squashing time!" - "Princess, I Shrunk the Mario Brothers"
 * "OW! I hate plumbers! OW! I hate... OW! Why can't they pick on... OW! Someone their own size?" - "Princess, I Shrunk the Mario Brothers"
 * "It makes me feel so warm, to be so cold!" - "Little Red Riding Princess"
 * "I want that ranger in danger! Now!" - "The Provolone Ranger"
 * "Koopa Court is now in session! Bailiff Mouser, read those phony charges you and I cooked up!" - "Escape from Koopatraz"
 * "Congratulations! You've won a five-hundred year all-expense paid trip to Club Koopatraz!" - "Escape from Koopatraz"
 * "It was so much fun being your crooked judge, I decided to become your cruel warden!" - "Escape from Koopatraz"
 * "This better be a bad dream, plumber, 'cause if it's not, you're in deep fettuccine!" - "Escape from Koopatraz"
 * "What the Koop are you talkin' about?" "Mario of the Deep"
 * ''"You mean this is all?! There ain't enough gold here to bother Kooping about!" - "Mario of the Deep"
 * "You Mario Bros. ruined my evil schemes, so I'm gonna ruin the burg that you love best!" - "Flatbush Koopa"
 * "Hold your applause! I know it's a genius idea, but I have them all the time!" - "Flatbush Koopa"
 * "Fan-kooping-tastic, it worked!" - "Raiders of the Lost Mushroom"
 * "I love Down Under Land! It's where Mario Bros. went down- and under!" - "Crocodile Mario"
 * "Go to Warp 10, Mouser!" "Star Koopa"
 * "If you want something wrong done right, you gotta wrong-do it yourself!" - "Star Koopa"
 * ''"I am the mighty Robo Koopa! Half Koopa, half machine. Built for destruction! And I'm gonna destroy you miserable little meddlers! (fiddles on his control panel) Drat! Where is that 'destroy-you-miserable-little-meddlers' button!" - "Robo Koopa"
 * "The fun's not over yet! I've got Super-vision; Super-hearing; Super-strength; And yes, even... Super-toes!" - "Robo Koopa".
 * "If it isn't... Robo-Rooter!" - "Robo Koopa".

King Neptune

 * "Relax, Max. Swim with the current. Take a dip in the ocean of happiness. Life's to short to be a crab."
 * "Have some fun, Jack. Get happy as a clam. In short: be a friend, not an anemone."
 * "What a bummer. I'm caught like a sea snail in a pail. Trapped like a squid under a lid. Somehow I gotta blow this seen and help my people."
 * "Holy Mackerel! Wh-who are you?"
 * "Cool as a sea cucumber, Jack. Ha! Let's haul anchor and set sail."
 * "Don't worry about a thing my little dolphin. I'll round up a fleet of fishy friends. That Barra-Koopa's gonna be up to his gills in grief."
 * "Barra-Koopa, you're in a whale of a lot of trouble."
 * "Thanks land-loving friends for rescuing me and freeing the Mermushrooms."

Lakitu

 * "Ready, your repulsiveness."
 * "Thank you, your Koopaness."
 * "You better do what King Koopa says or we'll freeze you to your knees."
 * "I prefer clouds myself, but at least it's snowing and freezing down there! Hehehehehehehe!"
 * "Oh no! My cloud has sprung a leak!"

Lions

 * "You got it, you chubby little chunk a lunch meat!"
 * "He's got a point, Harry."
 * "Now this is what I call a meal."
 * "Hey Koopa, slow down! We're hungry!"
 * "Hey Luigi, you wanna get to work? Break time's over!"
 * "I'm so starved I could eat a horse... or a plumber."

Lou Albano

 * "Hey, Cindi, there you are!"
 * "Fifty dollars? Well here I am! Now fifty! Hahaha!"
 * "Oh, didn't you get my note?"
 * "Uh-oh! I must have torn the page out wrong. It should say "I've gone for good fried chicken! Back in an hour!""
 * "Yeah, I finally gave up waitin' for ya at my house, so I, uh, followed these posters on the, uh, telephone poles and it brought me right here!"
 * "Hey, Luigi, baby, how are ya?"
 * "Ay, will you tell him I'm sorry I missed him, but, uh, me and Cindi really have to go because, uh, we don't want a picnic in the dark. Hahaha!"
 * "Come on, Cindi!"
 * "Number one guy, baby, have good luck!"

Luigi

 * "I can't! I'm allergic to mountains!" - "The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "P-polar bear? Lunch!?" - "The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "Hey, Super Mario! Super-cook their goose!" - "The Bird! The Bird!"
 * (*sobs*) He was the nicest little fungus I ever knew!" - "The Bird! The Bird!"
 * ''"Who could forget? Don't take chances or you'll go down the drain!" -"The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "C-c-crama's here in-in Koopalot? Uh, I mean, uh, Koopa's here in Cramalot? I mean, uh, shee, let's split this place!" - "King Mario of Cramalot"
 * "Me? B-b-but I can't swim across the moat! I'm, uh, gonna have a baby!" - "King Mario of Cramalot"
 * "Fellons? Yo, I never fell on nobody! I'm uh..." - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid"
 * "Oh no! End dend! I mean, dend dead! I mean shee, we're trapped!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid"
 * "I've had it! I've had it, I've had it! I'm tired of Koopa chasing us from world to world! I wanna go home!" - "Brooklyn Bound"
 * "Guess we're stayin' in Mushroom Land." - "Brooklyn Bound"
 * "Mama mia! We shoulda rented a camel with air conditioning!" - "Mario's Magic Carpet"
 * "Look at that loot! Diamonds, gold, rubies! It must be worth over a hundred bucks!" - "Mario's Magic Carpet"
 * "I told him that he wants really yummy carpet to head for Koopa." - Mario's Magic Carpet
 * "So, what do we do now, Mr. Big Time Gambler?" - "Rolling Down the River"
 * "Okay, Mario. One all ya got, coming up!" - "Rolling Down the River"
 * "He's too busy eating, Mario! He's your kind of horse." - "The Great Gladiator Gig"
 * "Hey! That's my brother Mario, you three-faced double-crosser!" - "The Great Gladiator Gig"
 * "Leapin' lasagna! This room's bigger than the Brooklyn Public Library!" - "Mario and the Beanstalk"
 * "I th-think I liked it better when we outnumbered them!" - "The Great BMX Race"
 * "I'd feel better if we went back and got my stomach." - "The Great BMX Race"
 * "That's what I call Shower Power!" - "Stars in Their Eyes"
 * "Yo, my brother: the pasta vampire." - "Count Koopula"
 * "Gee, that Mario. He can pulverize a pasta factory and still have room for dessert!" - "The Adventures of Sherlock Mario"
 * "Gee. Mario gets the brainstorms, and I get the backaches!" - "Do You Princess Toadstool Take This Koopa...?"
 * "You got 'em!" - "Koopenstein"
 * "You don't got 'em." - "Koopenstein"
 * "Let's really keep it a secret that we're agents, uhh, by stayin' here"! - "On Her Majesty's Sewer Service"
 * "Eh, it was nothin'! Danger is our business!" - "On Her Majesty's Sewer Service"
 * "Annette Funicello? Where?" - "Mario and Joliet"
 * "Pluggin' up pipes goes against everythin' we stand for!" - "Too Hot to Handle"
 * "Zelda of Legend! Next the from scenes! Some me show halfwit you!" - "Time Out Luigi"
 * "The dungeon? I'm allergic to dungeons!" - "Hooded Robin and His Mario Men"
 * "Better make that "The more for Mario"!" - "Hooded Robin and His Mario Men"
 * "We're stuck here like hairballs in a drainpipe!" - "Mario Meets Koop-zilla"''
 * "Hey! I may be crazy, but I'm not dumb!" - "Mario and the Red Baron Koopa"
 * "This place is emptier than a flushed drainpipe!" - "The Ten Koopmandments"
 * "I want my mommy!" - "The Ten Koopmandments"
 * "The Koopas are coming! The Koopas are coming!"
 * "When our soldiers thaw out, we're gonna !" - "The Koopas are Coming! The Koopas are Coming!"
 * "But I get seasick on a horse!" - "The Koopas are Coming! The Koopas are Coming!"
 * "Aww, Toad. Did'ya hafta say dead?" - "The Trojan Koopa"
 * "How ooga bugga-mugga wa-ooga-ma!" - "Quest for Pizza"
 * "Ouch! Someone's standin' on my toe, and it's not me!" - "The Great Gold Coin Rush"
 * "Mario's mind was where it always is: on pasta." - "Karate Koopa"
 * "Relax, princess! He knows who he is! Mario's always gone ape for meatballs!" - "Mario of the Apes"
 * "I'm a chicken of the sea!" - "Mario of the Deep"
 * "The only good thing so far is: we got to ride the roller coaster without a ticket!" - "Flatbush Koopa"
 * "Stop him, Mario! Tell him Italian food is not on his diet!" - "Crocodile Mario"
 * "I knew we should've built this raft with brakes!" - "Crocodile Mario"
 * "Bein' garbage really makes a guy feel down in the dumps!" - "Star Koopa"
 * "Koopa was scary enough when he was just a slimy reptile!" - "Robo Koopa"

Luigi's girlfriend

 * "Oh Luigi, say it again please. Please!"
 * "You are so romantic."
 * "The way you speak French is just... trés beautiful."
 * "Do you speak French?"
 * "Weren't you going to show me your French etchings, my little french fry."
 * "Do the Mario!"

Mario

 * "Hey paisanos! It's The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!" - Opening Credits
 * "Do the Mario!" - Closing Credits
 * ''"Don't worry, Princess! Luigi and me'll climb that mountain before you can say "Spaghetti and Meatballs"! -"The Bird! The Bird!"
 * ''"Okay, wait here! And if you become lunch for a polar bear, don't blame us! -"The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "I hate to run on an empty stomach!" - "The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "Must be a beehive nearby, and when there's bees; there's raviolis smothered with honey" - "King Mario of Cramalot"
 * "If Toad doesn't get us outta here soon, I'm gonna eat this mattress!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid"
 * "Wake up, Luigi! The only time plumbers sleep on the job, is when we're working by the hour!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid"
 * "Catfish pizza? This may be a first, but I'm not hungry!" - "Rolling Down the River"
 * "Excuse my brother, he gets nervous around guys six times bigger than him." - "The Great Gladiator Gig"
 * "We can fix anything if there's spaghetti involved!" - "The Great Gladiator Gig"
 * "Hey, Koopa! I hope your Big and Tall shop blows up, with you in it!" - "Mario and the Beanstalk"
 * "Those ain't wedding bells in your tower! They're bats in your belfry!" - "Love 'Em and Leave 'Em"
 * "Hey! Where'd you learn how to ride a bike!?" - "The Great BMX Race"
 * "Get back here, Koopa! Don't you know vegetables are good for you?" - "The Great BMX Race"
 * "Not on my melted mozzarella! - "Stars in Their Eyes"
 * "If food isn't pasta, it doesn't count!" - "Jungle Fever"
 * "Unstoppable? We're plumbers! If we can unstop a stop, we can stop the unstoppable!" - "The Fire of Hercufleas"
 * "Magnifico! You're stronger than Grandma Mia's garlic chip cookies!" - "The Fire of Hercufleas"
 * "Faster than a vanishing clog! More powerful than an electric drainsnake! It's Super Mario!" - "Pirates of Koopa"
 * "She's not much, but she sure beats swimmin'!" - "Pirates of the Koopa"
 * "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! Then beat 'em!" - "Pirates of the Koopa"
 * "Remember, Luigi, you gotta act tough!" - "Pirates of the Koopa"
 * * singing* "Hush, little Princess, don't you cry. I'm gonna buy you a pizza pie. And if that pizza pie gets ate, Luigi'll buy you a New York steak." - "Two Plumbers and a Baby"
 * "This is the first time my lunch ever took a bite out of me!" - "The Adventures of Sherlock Mario"
 * "I just love food that's spicy!" - "On Her Majesty's Sewer Service"
 * "I always cry at wedding feasts!" - "Mario and Joliet"
 * "Koopa's gonna take a trip he didn't plan on!" - "Too Hot to Handle"
 * "I hope the food's better than the furniture!" - "Mighty McMario and the Pot of Gold"
 * "As we say in Brooklyn; Banzai!" - "Mario Meets Koop-zilla"
 * "Save the spaghetti! Save the spaghetti!" - "Mario and the Red Baron Koopa"
 * "Koopone, you've Kooped your last Koop!" - "The Unzappables"
 * "It doesn't look good for the good guys, Luigi!" - "The Mark of Zero"
 * "I guess Mexican food doesn't agree with El Koopitan!" - "The Mark of Zero"
 * "When Luigi's unfrozen, he's goin' on a diet!" - "The Koopas are Coming! The Koopas are Coming!"
 * "It's ugly, but it floats!" - "The Trojan Koopa"
 * "What? Only one pizza?" - "Quest for Pizza"
 * "The Mushroom People get the mine, and Koopa gets the shaft!" - "The Great Gold Coin Rush"
 * "When the plumbing gets tough, the tough get plumbing!" - "Plummers Academy"
 * "I can't quit now, Luigi! I was born with a plunger in my hand!" - "Plummers Academy"
 * "Me Marzan! King of the jungle!" - "Mario of the Apes"
 * "Can't we discuss this man to Mouser?" - "Princess, I Shrunk the Mario Brothers"
 * "First, we'd better get inside by a fire, before we turn into pasta-sicles!" - "Little Red Riding Princess"
 * "The Provolone Ranger is ready to ride. High ho, Ostro, away!" - "The Provolone Ranger"
 * "Help, help! There's a big, ugly spider in here! Help! My yelling's gonna keep you up all night, unless you get this spider outta here!" - "Escape from Koopatraz"
 * "Luigi, are you a man or a Mouser?" - "Mario of the Deep"
 * "I guess somedays, even Super Mario can't think of everything!" - "Flatbush Koopa"
 * "Don't count your reptiles before they're hatched, lizard lips!" - "Raiders of the Lost Mushroom"
 * "I was hoping we'd have lunch, not be lunch!" - "Crocodile Mario"
 * "I just love playin' Koopa in the middle!" - "Crocodile Mario"
 * "I just had the strangest dream. I was a TV dinner!" - "Star Koopa"
 * "He's showing a plumber how a garbage disposal works?" - "Star Koopa"
 * "Watch it, gang! His toes are loaded!" - "Robo Koopa"

The Pied Koopa

 * "Times are terrible, Toad! Disaster has descended on Pasta Land's people!"
 * "The Pied Koopa has just stolen all our children!"
 * "Who knows?"
 * "People of Pasta Land, we have no choice! We must give our spaghetti harvest to Koopa!"
 * "Please rise."
 * "I hereby present you with the Order of the Golden Meatball for your valiant efforts in rescuing the children of Pasta Land and saving our spaghetti crop."
 * "Speech! Speech!"

Mermushrooms

 * "Thank you, brave land-dwellers for rescuing me!"
 * "He works for Barra-Koopa. The evil reptile is kidnapping my people and turning them into slaves!"
 * "Barra-Koopa has imprisoned him! Please, you've got to help my people and free our king!"'
 * "Look! Barra-Koopa's minions are forcing my people to gather all the gold coins from the sunken ship in Aqua Land!"
 * "Hurray for the brave land-dwellers!"
 * "We're trapped, like sardines in a can!"
 * "I can help! I know a secret passage to the Aqua Land dungeon! Come, I'll show you!"
 * "Princess Toadstool and these brave plumbers have come to rescue you and help us fight bad Barra-Koopa!"

Plummers Academy

 * "With pleasure, your reptilian rottenness."
 * "Gee, I thought we almost had it."
 * "Okay, your royal Koopaness. Take a big sniff of this pepper"

Mr. Mayor

 * "Welcome, Princess Toadstool! May I present you with the key to our humble village."
 * "We are honored that you and your friends have come to protect us from the evil Dr. Koopenstein."
 * "Thank you for saving us. And now, your reward."

Mugga

 * "Ooga la munya!" ("He's hard to look at!")
 * "Ugga ma mima." ("Get a pizza for Mario")
 * "Bunya Alley Koop a baconito nato senjuik." ("Alley Koop has a Fire Flower, but he keeps it under heavy guard.")

Mushroom Rebel

 * "Come on Princess! Your people need you!"
 * "Hang on!"

Ninjis

 * "It's-a the Mario brothers!"
 * "Stop-a them!"

Obi Wan Toadi

 * "There is no time, Mario."
 * "Someone must penetrate Koop Star in a Mushroom Starfighter and disable the Birdo Ray."
 * "Of course."
 * "Are you nervous, Mario?"
 * "This will bolster your spirits, my son."
 * "Remember, may the pasta be with you."
 * "My friend, you were wonderful. The Mushroom space colonists thank you for your bravery under fire."

Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid

 * "10,000 gold pieces? I'm taking you crooks to jail and that there gold to the bank!"
 * "You? Ha! I'll show you dangerous."

The Provolone Ranger

 * "Caught in a needle lock!"
 * "I've been busted!"
 * "The Provolone Ranger! He's coming for you Billy, and I'm rolling outta here!"

Prince Pompadour

 * "Rotunda, you're the most beautiful creature in the Kingdom. Marry me!"

Princess Toadstool

 * "Oh no! Poor Toad! Bring him back you dimwitted Birdo!" - "The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "Look! The Birdo took Toad to the highest peak! Please, Mario! Toad saved my life a hundred times! We've got to save his!" - "The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "(*Teary eyed*) Goodbye Mario, goodbye Luigi." (About to watch Mario and Luigi leave) - "Brooklyn Bound"
 * "Mario! {Kisses him} Luigi! {Kisses him} You came back!" (After being rescued from Koopa and realizing that the brothers went back for her and Toad) - "Brooklyn Bound"
 * "Oh, dear. I think he wants Toad for an appetizer." - "Crocodile Mario"
 * "(*sobs*) I always cry at weddings!" - "Mario and Joliet"
 * "What was that about pancakes and maple syrup?" - "Quest for Pizza"

Ralph Washington

 * "Excuse me, do you have a vacancy?"
 * "Washington."
 * "Ralph Washington."

Robo Koopas

 * "Ah! It's the Marios!"
 * "Let's Robo Koopalize 'em!"
 * "Your metalness! Your metalness! It's the Marios! Come quick!"

Sam Shalam

 * "Step right up! Step right up! Used carpets! U-Buy, We Fly."
 * "What is-"
 * "Watch it, will ya?"
 * "This is a genuine Persian carpet... made in Hong Kong."
 * "Not yet, I'm still gettin' the bugs out."
 * "I'm Sam Shalam, and this is my assistant, Slammer!"
 * "Just look around! You won't find any finer flying carpets in all of Cloud Land!"
 * "How much ya got?"
 * "Sold!"
 * "Fireproof, waterproof, and good proof. Guaranteed to last until it falls apart."
 * "Hi there! Ready for a trade in? I got a spiffy little carpet that belonged to a little old lady from Pastadena."
 * "Koopa? Why did you not say so? He stole his carpet from me! That reptile reprobate gives cheating a bad name! Take any carpet ya want! No charge!"

Secret Agent N

 * "Welcome to the secret spy laboratory. I am Secret Agent N."
 * "Not C. N."
 * "Not O. N! Agent O's on holiday."
 * "Secret Agents Mario and Luigi, your new Spymobile is ready."
 * "Well that's what it looks like old bean, but this baby's packing more fire power than a battleship."
 * "And that's not all! You'll be equipped with the latest in plumbing weaponry. Wrench phone, explosive drain cleaner, atomic screwdriver..."
 * "Watch out!"
 * "Be careful. That's a laser drill!"
 * "It's a red alert!"
 * "That's Fort Hard Knocks, where all of Spy Land's gold coins are kept."
 * "Now that Koopfinger's gone, Agent James Blonde is back in human form! Jolly good show, many old chaps!"
 * "Look out! That's no ordinary food!" (Looks like James Blonde is talking)
 * "That's my new spaghetti bomb!"

Señor Mayor

 * "They want to help, but El Koopitan strikes fear in the hearts of my people."
 * "I'm sorry we ran, Señor Mario, but without Zero the people are too afraid to fight."
 * "Zero is back! Zero is back!"
 * "For liberty, justice, and freedom for all fungi."
 * "We won! We defeated El Koopitan!"

Brooklyn Bound

 * "Your malignant meaness, I have terrible news! The Princess and the Mario brothers have escaped!"
 * "They're in the caverns!"

Mario of the Apes

 * "Uh, the boys were kind of wondering about that, oh, goofy little one."

Slammer

 * "Pleased to meetcha!"
 * "Ha! Unless you look somewhere else!"

Brooklyn Bound

 * "A toast to Koopa Khan."
 * "I got an idea! Let's use that rock thing for a bridge."

State Troopas

 * "Car 54 1/2 calling King Koopa. I've arrested the Princess and her faucet freak friends."
 * "No, you can't call your lawyer or your mother. Any other questions?"
 * "Yie! A Mushroom rebel chopper."
 * "Don't even think about running away, sewer scum. Bob-omb won't like that. I'm in big enough trouble as it is losing the Princess, without losing you guys too."
 * "Watch 'em, Bob-omb!"
 * "You stupid bang head! Look what- deh!"
 * "No, don’t go off now!"
 * "Yikes! Here, take this!"

Stool Pigeon

 * "Psst! Hey bub, over here!"
 * "Ya wanna know Koopone's next job?"
 * "Wouldn't be much of a stool pigeon if I didn't. Course, eh, it'll cost ya."
 * "Chicken feed! But, uh, since I'm a bird, I'll take it. C'mere!"
 * "Koopone's next job will be to rob the First Mushroom Bank."

Toad

 * "Hey! Let me go!" -'"The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "I'm warning you, I get airsick. Heeeelp!" -"The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "What're ya trying' to do, ya wacko bird, drown me?" -"The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "Mommy? You're not my mommy!" -"The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "I can't be your little Cheepy, lady! I don't have wings! Look! No wings, no feathers. I'm just a mushroom that can't stand heights!" -"The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "Flyin' lessons!? Are you outta your mind!?" -"The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "The least that featherbrain could've done was lend me a parachute. Hey! That's it! A parachute!" -"The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "Hey! It's me! I mean, him! It's little Cheepy! The Birdo's real lost baby!" -"The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "Oh no! I'm not going back up there! Never!" -"The Bird! The Bird!"
 * "When I get my hands on that King Koopa, I'll fix his wagon!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid"
 * "I'm no frog. I can't even swim." - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid"
 * "Bombs awaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid"
 * "What did you tell him?" - "Mario's Magic Carpet"
 * "Who did you expect? Pee-wee Herman?" - "Rolling Down the River"
 * "Looks like you guys saved the day again! Almost." - "Rolling Down the River"
 * "By the power of the shining star, I am the...Toad Warrior!"-Toad Warriors
 * "Hey, man, I’m the Fantastic Fungus! The supercharged Mushroom of Might! I’m the Toad Warrior!" - "Toad Warriors"
 * "Give me five. NO! Give me five bomb plants!" - "Toad Warriors"
 * "Whoever slows down first, loses!" - "Toad Warriors"
 * "Whoa! No more Toad Warrior!" (After turning back to normal) - "Toad Warriors"
 * "Y'all made it!" - "Toad Warriors"
 * "You blew that one, Koopa Stoopa!" - "Pirates of Koopa"
 * "Some Mushroom Retainer I turned out to be... I was so close! I couldn't save her..." - "The Trojan Koopa"
 * "Naughty turtle, you've been hittin' the sauce again, well, have some more!" - "Count Koopula"
 * "Let's make like eggs and SCRAMBLE!!!" - "Mario of the Deep"
 * "So much for hope." - "Stars in Their Eyes"
 * "Don't do it, Princess! Don't marry Koopa! I'd rather be a rock!" - "Do You Princess Toadstool Take This Koopa...?"
 * "Koopa you stoopa! Watch it with the Bob-Ombs!" - "The Great Gold Coin Rush"
 * "By order of his most royal repulsiveness, the reptile Sheriff of Koopingham! The castle road shall require a toll! In the amount of: One wagon full of gold coins!" - "Hooded Robin and His Mario Men"

Hooded Robin and His Mario Men

 * "Man-eating Trouters!" (supposed to be a Koopa Troopa talking)

Tulio

 * "Baloney! I am comin' in!"
 * "Yes master."
 * "I will leave now since Mario, my pal, is not here."

Vampa White

 * "Welcome to the Wheel of Misfortune, the game of pain, misery, and torture! I'm your hostess, Vampa White."
 * "Playing the game is simple, to decide the Mario Brothers' fate, we simply spin the wheel!"
 * "Congratulations! You win a trip to the Tunnel of Doom."
 * "Bon voyage!"

Worm

 * "Spaghetti? We're not spaghetti. We're worms!"
 * "I've never been so insulted in my whole life."

Zero

 * "Are you here to like, buy something, or just make a mess."
 * "So what'll it be? Burritos, enchiladas, quesadillas?"
 * "Ah! It's El Koopitan! I'm getting outta here!"
 * "You baked thunders decide what you want yet? Oops! I forgot!"
 * "The legendary masked hero, Zero. And if you guys can keep my secret, I'll give you all the tacos you can carry."