List of Paper Mario quotes

This is a list of some quotes from the game Paper Mario, listed by character, alphabetically.

Anti-Guy

 * "What do you want!?"
 * "This is my treasure chest! No need to fight me, see?"
 * "What!! Well, I DO like a challenge. Don't say I didn't warn you, pal!"

Black Ninjakoopa

 * "Mario's here already!? Uh oh... We're in a world of hurt. I'd better go tell the leader! Red Koopaaaaa!"

Bombette

 * ''"I've got a score to settle with those Koopa Bros.!
 * "If you'd hit me with the Hammer, Mario, I was going to bomb you the next time you napped. But you didn't! I'm so happy that you knew I was the real Bombette!"
 * "Think about something else for two seconds, will you?"
 * "The material's weak. The material here is MUCH weaker than the one at Koopa Bros. Fortress!"

Bowser

 * "I wanna trounce Mario!"
 * "I want Princess Peach to like me!"
 * "Here you go Mario, good night."
 * "Long time, no see, Princess Peach!"
 * ''"Ha! This castle's under my control now, my dear! Now you will obey me!"
 * "Today your pathetic little attacks won't beat me."
 * ''"Gwa ha ha ha ha ha! Is that all you've got? How sad! You'd best take some vitamins, 'cause that didn't hurt at all!"
 * ''"With the power of the Star Rod, I can finally have everything I've always wanted!"
 * "I couldn't be happier, diary! I hope she likes me..."
 * "Oh no! I can't believe I left my secret diary lying out! It would be totally embarrassing if someone were to read that thing. Wuh... wuh... WHAAAT?!! What's the princess doing here?"*"Nothing makes me happier than a smile from you, Peach."
 * ''"That jerk, Mario just beat the Koopa Bros. and Tutankoopa. Sure, they were complete wimps, but they were still loyal to me. I can't forgive Mario for disrespecting me!"
 * ''"Oh, Princess Peach! Your cuddly old Bowser's here!"
 * "What's this whiny little glittery thing? Confetti? Gah! Buzz off!"
 * "Hey, you there! Tie the princess in ropes. If she gets out this time, heads will roll!"
 * ''"Mario always defeats me... This time I became invincible and I STILL couldn't beat him!"

Crystal King

 * "I know you think you can save this Star Spirit, but I'm afraid I can't let you!"
 * "First I shall defeat you, and then I will present to King Bowser an iced Mario gift!"
 * "NOOO! The last Star Spirit! King Bowser, forgive meeeeeee!"

Goombario

 * "Hey Mario! I'm Goombario. I'm your biggest fan!"
 * "Mario, I know all about your adventures around the world. You've been everywhere! And you always get the best of the bad guys. Everytime! You're the coolest! I wanna be just like you!"
 * "Seriously, you don't know what this means for me to meet you."
 * "I study self-defense by reading books from the masters...."
 * "Be quiet, Goombaria! You're embarrassing me! Of course, it IS true..."
 * "Mario could beat Bowser with one arm tied behind his back!"
 * "She's incredible! I think I'm in love! Pinch me, will you, Mario?"
 * "There he goes again. What a brave little guy."
 * "He looks adorable hiding in his little egg, doesn't he? So cute!"
 * "Ah, a rival for her affection! Just joking."
 * "I'm more interested in his assistant. She's cute!"
 * "Boy, she makes me see stars!"
 * "See you later, Parakarry! Keep working hard, buddy!"
 * "Jeepers! This is an invitation to a party at Princess Peach's castle!"

Goomboss/Goomba King

 * Mario! Good fight and all that! I must warn you, however, if you happen to find a switch, you definitely should not press it. It's very dangerous! W-WHAT!? You already pressed it!?"

General Guy

 * "So, you came, did you? I'm General Guy. We're following the orders of King Bowser by guarding a Star Spirit. As long as we keep it secure, we have permission to do what ever we want. You hear!? I don't care for you, sir. You are rude, and furthermore, you're trespassing in here. Our Toy Box is off limits for the likes of you! The treasures inside this box are for Shy Guys only! And that Star Spirit's fate is none of your business! Prepare to fight me, sir! TASTE DEFEAT! CHARGE!!"
 * "You're breaking the rules of war!"
 * "You beat my infantry, but that's ALL you'll do!"
 * "Stand your ground, men!"
 * "You men make me sick!"

Green Ninjakoopa

 * "Most of all, though, you shouldn't go ask old man Merlon for help. That would be bad for us, I mean, you."
 * "Ha! Let's see the great Mario get any further, now!"
 * "Looks like there's gonna be some fighting here... see ya!"

Huff N. Puff

 * "Are you a man named Mario? Did you or did you not break [the] Puff Puff Machine? You completely ruined my plan to cover Flower Fields with clouds! You see, I was going to change this sunlight-blasted place into a cloud-covered paradise! But I wouldn't expect a man of YOUR intellect to understand."
 * "Is that you, Spike!? So, you have betrayed me! I'll never give up the Star Spirit to the likes of you! You will both be punished for your crimes!"
 * "Yes! Take him!"
 * "I've got a surprise attack. Just give me a little time to prepare."

Jr. Troopa

 * "Hey! This is MY playground, idiots!!"
 * "Prepare to start crying at the feet of Master Jr. Troopa!"
 * "Darn it, darn it, darn iiiiiiitt!"
 * ''"Shoot! I was winning, too!"'
 * "I'll be back, Mario! I mean it!"
 * "Of course, you remember me?"
 * "That's right! Darn tootin'! I'm Jr. Troopa!"
 * "Listen, you big lug! I'm Jr. Troopa! Remember it after this next beating!"
 * "Shut up! Shut uuuuuupp! I'm not a lost child! I'm your worst nightmare! Here comes the pain!"
 * "Meet the new, improved Jr. Koopa!"
 * "Shoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot!!!!!!!!!!!!"
 * "I'll... never... go... swimming... again... for the rest... of my life!"
 * "I've learned some coooool techniques!"
 * "Hey, Mario, you like magic tricks? Well, you won't like this one!"
 * "Finally, at long last, I'll settle my score with you!"
 * "This is it, the final fight! Only one of us is walking away from this battle!"
 * "Don't think you've won, Mario! I swear to you, I'm gonna beat you SO bad next time!"
 * "GOSH!"

Kammy Koopa

 * "Congratulations on your victory, Your Viciousness! That's why you're the king!"
 * "I am a beautiful Koopa with a beautiful name, Kammy Koopa!"
 * "The Goomba King was small-time. I had a feeling he'd fail."
 * "As long as you hold the Star Rod in your hands, you could defeat Mario with one claw tied behind your back!"
 * "Sell it, Koopa Bros.! Show our king that technique you do so well!"
 * "And you call yourself a hero? Did you think we were foolish enough to sit back while you save all the Star Spirits? I have constructed a device that increases Bowser's power, where even the power of the Star Spirits can't compare! Now, King Bowser will truly be invincible, thanks to my wisdom! Are you ready, my king? Then power up!"
 * "Why, you insolent little Star Kid!"
 * "You little whipper-snapper! You're too young to fight me!"
 * "Nyeah heh ho ha... Did I just feel a breeze, or was that really your attack?"
 * "Why does it seem like this Star Kid is getting stronger!?"
 * "Wait, I remember now! Stars get their power from ordinary peoples' wishes! Peach's wishes must be making him stronger! Oh... Oh, no!!"
 * "Forgive me, Lord Bowser, I have failed you..."
 * "We must flee, my evil king!"

Kolorado

 * "Barely knicked me, old boy..."
 * "What's that sound? Kids with fireworks, no doubt!"
 * "By the Stars, I'll risk my life for that treasure!"
 * "Ah-ha! Treasure! No, wait... Some sort of starfish??"
 * "Old man, you are simply the cat's meow!"
 * "I hearby declare this adventure to be a complete success!"
 * "This tuna-ferring experience, I shan't do again. I'm in your debt, though."
 * "Oh, what poppycock! Balderdash! Don't be daft, dear boy! It would be terribly impolite to turn down such an invitation! It would ruin the party if the hero of Koopa Village, nay, the Mushroom Kingdom weren't there! Go to that party this instant, and don't spare me another thought!"
 * "Puh...Puh... Parakarry! Why didn't you tell me this sooner!? This is a crisis, old boy! I must away with all due speed!"

Kooper

 * "I don't even care that I have no shell on! I'm gonna show those Fuzzies what's what!"
 * "I, Kooper, will follow you to the ends of the Earth!"
 * "Who are you? Tell me your name!"
 * "Why, that's ridiculous! I'm the genuine Kooper!"
 * "That's fine with me!"
 * "I believe in you, Mario. We go away back..."
 * "Don't be such a crybaby! You lost! What were you thinking, trying to trick Mario like that!?"
 * "I knew you'd get it right, Mario! Those were some of the worst disguises ever!"
 * "Thanks. I knew you'd say that, Prof. Kolorado! You're so kind and generous!"

Lady Bow

 * "You would have had to fight Tubba Blubba to save this Star Spirit anyway, right?"
 * "He's a madman! He'll eat every last one of you!"
 * "Blech! You wish, you ghost-gobbling freak!"
 * "Who is this child? He must be lost, or something. What a dirty little urchin..."
 * "I swear on my own grave! Mario's innocent!"

Lakilester

 * ''"My name is Lakilester... Er, no, it's Michael... No, um... Oh yeah... Spike. Yeah yeah, I'm Spike... Well whatever. Never mind."
 * "Don't call me Lakilester! It's Spike! Remember? You never listen to me! But I guess that's why you're so cute. I mean, ahhh! Did I say out loud!? Forget I said that!"
 * "Hey, I've got a question, man. What in the world are you doing all this fighting for, anyway?"
 * "World peace? Isn't that a bit melodramatic? But still, I gotta admit that there's a certainly manly charm to having such a noble purpose."
 * "You're so much cuter when you show me those pearly whites."
 * "Bwa ha ha! Look at those chumps run away!"
 * "Helping people... I could get used to this, man."

Lakilulu

 * "Please have mercy on my poor, sweet Lakilester!"
 * "He was just following Huff N. Puff's orders! Will you forgive him?"
 * "He's really sweet! Please don't take my Lakilester away from me!!"
 * "Oh, you'll forgive him? Oh, thank you!"
 * How are you doing, Lakilester? Are you becoming a better Lakitu by helping people?"

Luigi

 * "Hey, Mario! We got a letter from Princess Peach!"
 * "Well, Mario, I guess you better get going."
 * "What a magnificent castle! I never get used to this place."
 * "Say, Mario, why don't you go see Princess Peach? I'll go later. I'm thinking I'll mingle for now."

Merlon

 * "Merlon is out!"
 * "Why do you keep knocking!? I said Merlon is out!"
 * "Where to begin...? My name...is Merlon. I am a wizard. When I was reading the stars the other day, an oracle came to me. What I discovered is very important, and it concerns you. But, before I tell you about it, there are other things of which I must speak. It is a very long story, but I'll try to shorten it. Where should I start...? It was in the old days. One of my ancestors was up on Shooting Star Summit and as usual... ......but one day it happened. ...suddenly...a great... ...appeared and I... ...standing face to face... Then, the faraway.... the pious... was....raised me up... .....was amazing.. ..I was still so young then... I believed in ......... But....our hearts were..... ........... and........... .....then.... ...........so....."
 * "Reveal your true selves!"

Mr. Hammer

 * "I don't know. Nobody knows. That's why it's a secret, you half-wit!"
 * "Sorry, Princess Peach!"

Parakarry

 * "Mail call!"
 * "The name's Parakarry. I deliver letters."
 * "Oh, confound it!"
 * "Thank you so much! Now, I've got all the letters I've lost... today."
 * "You're [insert name here], correct? I believe I have a letter for you. Hang on..."
 * "Another letter, duly delivered. A postman's job is never done."
 * "Another letter, duly delivered. A postman's work is never done."
 * "I sure am! This isn't a social call!"
 * "Oh, and Kolorado. I have a message for you, as well. 'Don't bother coming home, you wandering buffoon! What a no-good husband!' That... was a message from your wife. You set off on this expedition again without telling her, didn't you? She was SOOOO furious."

Princess Peach

 * ''"Oh Mario! You came to the party to see me! You're so sweet! Thank you!"
 * ''"Sniffle...Mario's probably hurt...Everyone's in prison...The Mushroom Kingdom will be destroyed if things continue the way they're going."
 * "Haven't you learned your lesson by now, Bowser!"

Red Ninjakoopa

 * "Oh yeah! We're the coolest of the cool!"
 * "Well, well, well! If it isn't Mario! I never expected that you'd make it up here! Pffft! Don't get smug, pal! We'll mop the floor with you if we get serious!"
 * "Oh, for the love of...! What are you DOING, Yellow? That does NOT look cool at all!"
 * "Remember to look cool, guys!"
 * "A lasting impression, yeah! We were too cool to forget!"
 * "Don't think we're like before! We've increased our power beyond our wildest dreams! After you trounced us the other day, we trained all day, every day, and we learned a cool new technique! We're not just the Koopa Bros... We're the Super Ultra Mighty Koopa Bros. the Great!! Check out our coolness!"

Sushie

 * "So, you're looking for those little rascals, as well!"
 * "You must have one heck of a story behind you, Mario."
 * "You'll be roasted to a golden brown! I do NOT approve of this!"
 * "Uh-huh... Oh... Oh! You're going to the volcano, because you want to save the princess, from some bad guys? What...a touching story! Romantic stories like that... just touch a soft spot in this heart of mine. That does it! I can't let you go alone! I, Sushie, will be by your side until the end!"
 * "Do you REALLY think Mario is capable of something like this? Think about it."
 * "I don't fancy the idea of becoming a fried fish!"

The Master

 * "For what purpose do you come here today?"
 * "It is time you've fought The Master."
 * "To battle!"
 * "Mario, you will fall!"
 * "Hmm, nice manuever."
 * "Hm! You have great hidden strength for one clothed like a plumber."
 * "Kuwaaaaa! Behold my fury, Mario!!"
 * "Now...it is time I've stopped being so merciful."
 * "You underestimate me, Mario! Did you really think you would win?"
 * "Hmmm! Noble Mario! You have bested me, The Master, the strongest of fighters! Since you have beaten me at my full strength, I give you this with respect."

Toads

 * "Princess Peach is such a generous and wonderful lady, just as I was told." - Frost T.
 * "You may not know this, but I cooked all the food for this big party. I made all of my most delicious dishes!♥ But... Oh dear... I got so into my cooking that I used up all my ingredients! Now I have to go shopping!" - Tayce T.
 * "Do you know how to cook, Mario? You really ought to learn how." - Tayce T.'s assistant
 * "Greetings, Mario! I am the Minister of Princess Peach's Castle. It's good to see you here. When you're around, I feel like our kingdom is secure. Yep, our future looks bright!" - the Minister of Princess Peach's Castle

Tubba Blubba/Tubba's Heart

 * "Mm, I could use a snack."
 * "A little tangy, but good."
 * "I sure don't want to make King Bowser angry. He's scary. I know he made me invincible, but if I screw up, he might change me back to normal."
 * "Five more minutes, mom."
 * "I smell delicious ghosts! Open the dooooooor!"
 * "I can't let you out, knowing the secret of my 'invincible' body. I'm sorry, but here we go!"
 * "Hey, you! Lady ghost! Stick around after the battle! Fighting makes me hungry!"
 * "Heh... I'm gonna charge up this great attack. It's impossible to avoid."
 * "Owwwweeee! Oh, I'm hurting! I have to get out of here!"
 * "It's time to reunite!"
 * "Oh, yeah! Now I'm feeling good! With my heart and body united, there's no way to beat me!"
 * "OUCH!"
 * "Oh, nooooo... With my heart and body united, I'm not invincible anymore! I'm back to 'Not Invincible Tubba Blubba'... That's so lame! Look, I give up! I'll free all the ghosts I ate! Forgive me!"
 * "I'm actually a really sensitive guy, trapped in a huge body. I don't wanna be invincible anymore if I have to fight guys like you!"

Tutankoopa

 * "You will fall to my legion and become a mummy of the sands!"
 * "*Don't you have the common sense to get scared and run away? What's wrong with you? Oops! I mean... You shall regret this!"
 * "C'mere, Chompy..."

Twink

 * "You big... Koopa! Show some respect for the princess!"
 * "I... I'm not afraid of you!"

Watt

 * "You just saved me like a hero! You're a hero, aren't ya? You're the coolest!!!"
 * "I heard the, um, Shyguys saying that you're trying to save the princess from Bowser."
 * "Big whale give us a ride! Wheeee!"

Yellow Ninjakoopa

 * "Ba ha ha! You fell for it, loser!"
 * "Here come the Koopa Bros.!"
 * "Okay, Red. I'm ready now!"

Other Non-Playable Characters

 * "I come from a desert town called Dry Dry Outpost. This castle is truly lovely, isn't it? Truly gorgeous. So cool and comfortable... I even got a chance to talk to the beautiful Princess Peach. What an honor! When I return to Dry Dry Outpost, I'm going to tell everyone about it." - A nameless Dryite


 * "I'm here on behalf of lovely Shiver City. I'm the mayor there, you know! My goodness, look at the time! I have to go shopping with Frost T.!" - The mayor of Shiver City.


 * "Wow, this castle is absolutely breathtaking, don't you think? I wish I could stay here at Princess Peach's Castle forever." - A nameless Penguin
 * "Hey, Mario. I'm Tayce T. I really like to cook." - Tayce T.
 * "Oh thank heavens! He's beens gravely injured, but I think he'll recover." - A Star Spirit
 * "Mario, we need you to come to Shooting Star Summit" - A Star Spirit
 * "It could have been a message from a Star Spirit. They live in Star Haven." - A Toad
 * "Putting on badges and taking them off is a vital skill." - Goompa