List of Super Paper Mario quotes

The following is a list of quotes from Super Paper Mario; they are listed alphabetically by character.

Bestovius

 * "Who is this meager mustache, and how does it have the audacity to address my muli-colored glory?"
 * "You must be the great hero... IMPERSONATOR!"
 * "What a costume! You look like you leaped right out of the pages of the Prognosticus!"
 * "Why should the hero have the whole world delivered to him on a well-garnished platter?"

Bowser

 * "Bwa ha ha ha ha! "We're under attack!" You jokers are the best!"
 * "Hey who are those hairy guys in the back? We SHAVE around here, minions."
 * "Bah! Mario... AND Luigi?! How'd you get in here?...What? My front gate was open?! How many times have I told those idiots?! If you're the last in, LOCK THE GATE!"
 * "I'll tell you who doesn't make even a little bit of sense... Count Bleck!
 * "Enough! Release Princess Peach, right now! I'm on a schedule over here!
 * "Bwah ha ha! Will I marry Peach? Are you kidding me? The answer's YESSSSSSSS!"
 * "MARIO! ...and Princess Peach?! Why do you ALWAYS have to do that. That's like the 1000th time you've shown up at my castle and screwed everything up!"
 * "No more sequels! It's gonna end right here, right now. ONCE AND FOR ALL!"
 * "But... But I'm Bowser! I'm grade-A, 100% prime-cut final boss! I'm going to take over the world any day now! No way am I helping Mario! He's always trashing my awesome plans."
 * "What'd you say? If the world ends, there's not gonna be any world for me to rule?"
 * "Don't get all cuddly with me, Mario."
 * "NO! I'M NOT SWEET!"
 * "Fine... C'mon. Let's get your stupid Precious Heart, or whatever you call it."
 * "Yeah! Anyone who wears a cape and a monocle is just begging for a beating."
 * "Trust me, any problem comes up, I'll stomp it into next week! I'll Bowserize it!"'
 * "Who are you supposed to be, Mr. Frilly Pants? You gonna tie me a balloon animal?"
 * "Bwahah! You're such an idiot! This place makes me stronger too!"
 * "Dimentio? Gimme a break! That's the lamest villain ever!"
 * "Pbbtth! Wanna know how to thank me, bugface? Just stay outta my way, OK?"
 * "Oh YEAH! I can breathe! But now my nose itches! Man, I hate space!"
 * "Good gravy, you're ugly!"
 * "Space niblet! You OK?"
 * "Hrmm... Mr. L. What a nutjob."
 * "Huuuuurgh! Mt brain hurts! I can't keep up with plot points this complicated!"
 * "Huh? What're you looking at, rocklips? You never seena burly king of evil before?"
 * "Hold up. Did I just hear the word 'UGLY'?"
 * "WARGH! What are... HEY! Hands off the merchandise!"
 * "Pbbbbbbth! Like I'm afraid of danger! Please!"
 * "Count Bleck, Floro Sapiens, whatever... Stomping fools is my business! Show me a to a fool, and I'll stomp it! I don't even need a reason!"
 * "What am I, blind? Shut up."
 * "Hey O'Fatty! Take it easy! You're gonna blow out your beard, pal, seriously."
 * "You need stomping. And I'm a Stomptologist."
 * "Man, what a crybaby."
 * "You part of that idiot's crew? Get back and report to your boss, you lazy worm!"
 * "Oh, PLEASE! You know what you smell like, weirdo? FEAR. Stop crying and fight!"
 * "Whoa, whoa, WHOA! I don't fight veggies!"
 * "Think you can dent a shell as burly as THIS, pretty boy? Let those Cragnons go!"
 * "'Challenger'?! Bwahahahaha! All I'd have to do is sit on you and wear you like a hat!"
 * "I don't know who you are, but I got a 'rousing spectacle' for your face!"
 * "Hey! I'm not fat! I just got a big shell."
 * "Minions need to learn respect."
 * "That Mr. L freak is a total insano."
 * "Where am I?! And why do these jerks in shades keep jumping me?! And what's with the dark? And Peach isn't here... and I'm hungry! What did I do to deserve this?!"
 * "You wanna break up what me and Peach have going!"
 * "Dang! Why do I always lose?! What is WRONG with me?!"
 * "She's gotta be feeling lonely without her burly, awesome hubby at her side!"
 * "Hey! Shut yon trap, fluffy! You're talking about the WIFE of Lord Bowser!"
 * "Man, all I hear is CRYING! Show a little initiative! Can't we just rebuild the bridge?"
 * "Are we gonna group-hug? Enough pep talk, gramps! I'm doing this for ME!"
 * "I've had egg-salad-sandwiches chunkier than this guy."
 * "Hey, there's no shame in being smacked down by a huge, studly boss!"
 * "Hey, Super Stupid Bros.! Get the princess into the next room NOW!"
 * "Come on! Man up a little. You never give up this easy when you attack MY castle!"
 * ''"him!
 * "You believed your prophecy, and we believed in mopping the floor with you!"
 * "Now THAT is a plan! Make a path!"
 * "Shadoo, boo-hoo, whatever. What a waste of my time!"

Count Bleck

 * "Bleh HEH HEH HEH BLECK!"
 * "Your princess has been taken... by Count Bleck!"
 * "By me... Count Bleck! The chosen executer of the Dark Prognosticus... is Count Bleck! The fine fellow prophesied to come to this dimension... is also Count Bleck!"
 * "Bleh heh heh heh heh... This pleases Count Bleck!"
 * "Aside from Timpani, no treasure mattered in the least to me..."
 * "WHAT?! ... Spat Count Bleck in utter disbelief."
 * "Bleh heh heh heh heh... The man known as Blumiere died a long time ago. Now there is only Bleck! The Dark Prognosticus's choice to fulfill the prophecy! Nothing more!"
 * "Ah, I see you've come at least! So, you really ARE the hero of the Light Prognosticus..."
 * "But you are far too late to stop the Dark Prognosticus, and me... Count Bleck! Come into grips for that now, for you cannot stop it. I suggest you make yourselves comfortable and enjoy this one, final spectacle!"
 * "Count Bleck does not care about any world! They are all meaningless."
 * "You know the answer, dear Timpani. Count Bleck does not have to tell you. The hour has grown too late... You should know that by now."
 * "Count Bleck is the deleter of worlds! My fate is written in the Dark Prognosticus! ALL NOW ENDS!"
 * "Leave me, Nastasia. I will deal with these two ALONE."
 * "Count Bleck demands it! I will not say it again..."
 * "Are you prepared, hero? Our duel will be worthy of the last clash this world will ever see!"
 * "How laughable! Is that all the heroism you can muster? Let me show you real power!"
 * "Bleck! I expected more potency from the Hero of Prophecy! And now, I will watch your game end, and then your precious worlds will end soon afterwards!"
 * "Bleh heh heh heh... So, you ARE alive, then!"
 * "What's this? My barrier is... GONE?!"
 * "Then so be it... says Count Bleck! But your precious worlds aren't safe until my last breath. Let us finaly end this! Now, the TRUE battle begins... with Count Bleck!"
 * "BLEHHHHH!"
 * "Ex...Excellent... You have won... Now finish Count Bleck. The Chaos Heart will disappear, and the prophecy will be undone..."
 * "Timpani... After you vanished, I searched long for you. I never stopped looking. I searched and searched, but I never found you. Without you, the world held no meaning or joy. I wanted to destroy everything that's taken you away from me..."
 * "It's too late. Count Bleck has done so much evil... it must end. Just knowing that you are alive, and the world you live in will continue... it gives me peace. I do not have long to live... you must end my game before The Void destroys all..."
 * "Na-Nastasia!"
 * "No... stop!"
 * "We cannot. Without the Pure Hearts, all worlds are doomed. All we can do now is give up..."
 * "It was no lie. But without the power of the Pure Hearts, there is no way to counter the Chaos Heart. What can we do?"
 * "My minions... how did you find us here?"
 * "My loyal minions..."
 * "What's this? The Pure Hearts?! But why?"
 * "So, it seems the end of all worlds is really upon us..."
 * "I thought the Chaos Heart would disappear if the person controlling it fell. Dimentio... must have left behind a shadow of his power to continue controlling the Chaos Heart. It won't last long, but it'll be enough to ensure the end of every world."
 * "There's only one thing left that we can do... This way!"
 * "Timpani, do you still love me?"
 * "Then you must come with me."
 * "We will use the Pure Hearts again this time, to banish the Chaos Heart. All we need is true love, and that's something I am lucky enough to possess."

Dimentio/Super Dimentio

 * "I thought Mimi's idea of a perfect world had gem-filled swimming pools and hunky lifeguards?"
 * "So very nice to meet you... and your mustache!"
 * "I am Count Bleck's master of dimensions, the pleaser of crowds, I am...Dimentio!"
 * "Ciao!"
 * "And so I strike, like a sudden windstorm at a kindergarden picnic!"
 * "And so you've come to play, like late-sleeping toddlers!"
 * "You must be Bowser. I knew the moment I saw the flailing nubbins you call arms."
 * "And now, we must duel like two, glearing banjos on a moon-lit stoop!"
 * "Ah ha ha ha. And so we meet again, like two large, burly dinosaurs with indigestion!"
 * "Now remember kids: eat your vegetables to grow big!"
 * "The forlorn group of heroes, how they cry! Their tears flow like sad chowder!"
 * "Don't you know who I am? I am your enemy, Dimentio! I serve Count Bleck!"
 * "Say... Just one moment, my dear count. Does this name 'Blumiere' ring a bell?"
 * "The mustached man's Pixl went on and on. She said, 'I must stop Blumiere!' But I suppose there's no reason to pay any mind to the ramblings of a Pixl."
 * "Ah, I see you're missing the ravishing princess and the arm-flailer."
 * "Ah ha ha ha. Oh, no. Magic is no laughing matter. I am always deadly serious."
 * "…Don’t believe me? But trust, it is the tasty paste that holds civilization together! How does this strike you? Defeat the count and I will give you a very rare card. Does that entice you?"
 * "You are like a sad, meager sack that has deflated and lost all of it’s trust! Perhaps a signed bottle of my fragrance, “Demented by Dimentio,” will sway you? People will stand in ovation whenever you enter a room! Now will you fight with me?"
 * "AHA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Excellent choice, Mario! You are wiser than you look."
 * "Now, let me give you a taste of my scrumptious power, just as I promised."
 * "That sucking sound is your free will being plunged from the toilet of your mind! Now, you are my slave, and you will do my bidding. You will be…fearless! Go and defeat the count! And when he is gone, I will create a new world!"
 * "Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Again, for dramatic effect! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA."
 * "So, you spit upon my offer? You have wasted my time. For that, your game ends. I think I'll start with the green one. The shag upon his lip will make a fine trophy!"
 * "And so I strike, like a speeding dodgeball at an echoing gymnasium!"
 * "I needed the Pure Hearts to defeat Count Bleck. I couldn't do that on my own, so, I had you do all the sweaty labor for me. If they make greeting cards to thank people for helping with evil plans, I owe you one!"
 * "I am saying that you no longer have any value to me, so I'm ending your games. They're all yours now, Mr. L!"
 * "Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for the greatest magic show you'll EVER see!"
 * "Count Bleck! You looked so tattered and pathetic, I nearly forgot about you!"
 * "I'll squeeze the life out of you later. Just wait around in that dimension, OK? Great."
 * "The Chaos Heart is mine! I will use it to destroy all words and create perfect new ones! Shall we get started, then? I have all I need now... to become the king of all worlds!"
 * "I am invincible! There's nothing you can do! And now, it is time for the destruction to begin! Let it begin with YOU, as you wallow around in helplessness, like upside-down turtles! L-POWER!"
 * "Let's stop wasting time and finish this, shall we? Ciao!"
 * "W-WHAT?!? The Pure Hearts?!? I thought you wasted them all, fighting Count Bleck!"
 * "Noooo... I'm not invincible anymore..."
 * "G-GAH?!"
 * "How did you do it... How could I have lost with the power of Luigi and the Chaos Heart? And the prophecy... Has it been undone?!"
 * "Oh, this isn't finished... You can't escape... I've been saving one last surprise for last! Ah ha ha ha ha... Ciao!"

Flint Cragley

 * "Lesser Cragnons would weep softly."
 * "Suddenly... Out of the cave mists... mysterious, slavering creatures lurched into view!"
 * "Had the gods of adventure forsaken us?"
 * "Cragley Ho!"

Francis

 * "Nerrrrr herrr herrrr herrrrrr! This is so hi-technicaaaaaal!”
 * "NOOOOOOO! MY GRAPHICS CAAAAAAAARD!"
 * "Freel the wrath of the jilted X-Naut from the season finale of "The Grodus Chronicles!"
 * "MERCY!"
 * "My high-technical battle skills have failed me! I'm gonna return home and run a simulation on my computer to figure out what went wrong!"

Luigi / Mr. L

 * "That's my bro, always bouncing back! Like me! I bounce too!" - Luigi
 * "I'm my bro's bro." - Luigi
 * "The G-Great Luigi, you say? A... A daring defender? ...Me? Then I've got no choice! Luigi must spring into action! My fans need me!" - Luigi
 * "Oh, me? Just one of Count Bleck's more promising minions. The Green Thunder... MR. L!" - Mr. L
 * "Just because you're in red doesn't mean you're strong. Have at you!" - Mr. L
 * "Ooh, the evil king of all charlatans! Do I look scared? Have at you!" - Mr. L
 * "Hey, Mr. Getsfoiledallthetimebytheredguywiththemustache! I'll foil your FACE!" - Mr. L
 * "I uh... got to go deflavorize the Brobot's uh... Flavorizer." - Mr. L
 * "Hey there, butterball!" - Mr. L
 * "Hey, King Incompetant! I'm gonna hatch an evil plan on your FACE! Have at you!" - Mr. L
 * "T-Toad?! What? What happened? Why are you so crazy?" - Luigi
 * "Everyone runs out of extra lives sometime." - Luigi
 * "Quiet, you big Bowser! We know you kidnapped Princess Peach! Now where'd you put her?!" - Luigi
 * "Looks like your pure heart thing got broken. I guess pure hearts can't handle the end of the world. Heh. Whatever, I'll swipe it just for kicks." - Mr. L
 * "GREEEEEEEEN!"

Luvbi

 * "I am sorry...that thou art so hairy."
 * "Pray, I would understand this! Is yon Peach the lady friend of Mario?"
 * "Oh, verily? But the damsel looms large in his regard, is this not so? A one-sided crush then, mayhap."
 * "Heareth me, princess of silly peaches?"

Mario

 * "There might not be any world left for you to rule!"
 * "Deal!"
 * "Too rich for my blood."
 * "You're shady..."
 * "Forget it!"
 * "No way."

Mimi

 * "Surprise! It's me, Mimi!"
 * "Coins?! No one uses COINS anymore, you peasants! I SPIT on your coins!"
 * "You DUMMIES! The only reason I'm here is to GET in the way!"
 * "I'm not all soft n' cuddly like the count is."
 * "I like getting what I want, and I'll do whatever I have to to get it!"
 * "You're the one that's always having to get rescued by boys. THAT'S embarassing!"
 * "Boy, it sure would be sad if your boyfriends had to cry over spilled Peaches!"
 * "Gosh, I could follow your big smile anywhere, Count!"
 * "I got hired on by Merlee as her maid for real this time!"

Nastasia

 * ''"I'm just gonna pencil you in for a ten O' clock brain washing k."
 * ''"If...If I could have been that girl maybe things would be different."
 * ''"Yeah, I'm afraid you orders mean nothing anymore."
 * ''"WAH! Count you can't leave me!"

O'Chunks

 * ''"CHUNKS AWAY!"
 * "JUNIOR?! C'mere un' I'll introduce yeh to Fist Jr. an' his wee pal, Slappie!"
 * "A Stomptolo- 'EY! SHUT IT! Don't yeh go tryin' teh be wittier than me, yeh frog!"
 * "Maybe I misunderstood that weirdo..."
 * "YEH CRAZED LOON!"
 * "BRO-CCOLI! CAB-BAGE! AS-PARA-GUS!" - O'Chunks brainwashed into "O'Cabbage"
 * "Warrior rule # 1: 'Never fight on an empty stomach! 'Tis Madness!'"
 * "'Ow could yeh be chunkier than I? Yer naught but a bloomin' turtle!"
 * "Yer hands are quiverin' like a ladle of me mum's lard gravy."
 * "Ah; she lies like a wee rug, this lass!"
 * "Talk about goin' the extra mile! She even sacrificed 'erself to save ya! Lissen, Count, I promised me life as well, an' I'm not afraid teh live up to it! So, ya gotta lemme 'elp!"
 * "'Ey, Count! What're yeh doin?!?"

Princess Peach

 * "Ewwww, what WAS that?! What in the world did you just make me eat?!"
 * "You stay out of it! I am a PRINCESS, and she has thrown mud at my dignity!"
 * "Oh, what's the matter, little girl? Did I spank Mimi a little too hard?"
 * "You've been very, very bad, but I can't just leave you here to die."
 * "I don't know how you were raised, but I was taught to help people in need!"
 * "We would never let you destroy everything, you awful count!"
 * "I fell through too, and landed right on Bowser! It was a surprisingly soft landing..."
 * "So, defeating Dimentio wasn't enough to stop it?"
 * "How lovely! The bells are giving their blessing to Tippi and Bleck..."
 * "The fact that something so evil lurked at the bottom of the Pit is quite disturbing!"

Shadoo

 * "Don't get me wrong, the Ancients DID create me... But I work for my own cursed powers!"
 * "Oh, heroes... Blessed souls. I MUST DESTROY YOU WITH THE POWER OF SHADOW!"
 * "I was so... close to defeating the heroes... I was going to use the power of the Pixls to get revenge on the Ancients!"

Squirps

 * ''"You're the ones looking for the Pure Heart, squirple? Hm! Cuter than I thought!"
 * ''"I... I have to go potty! I REALLY have to go, squirk! I can't hold it anymore!"
 * ''"At this rate, Squirps is going to have an accident."
 * ''"Why are you staring like that? Are you falling for Squirps?!"

Tippi

 * "Who are you REALLY, you incontinent little imp?"
 * "What a wretch."
 * "Where in the world are we? And what are you...things?"
 * "Why would you do this?! How COULD you do this?!"
 * "If the worlds have no meaning, does that mean OUR meeting was meaningless, as well! Answer me, Blumiere!
 * "Pure Hearts are the very feelings of our souls. As long as we feel love, they live on! I will take these to Mario!"
 * "Nothing is decided intirely by fate, you know... All things determine their destinies."
 * "Goodbye now, Dimentio. We'll add a footnote to the prophecy about your failure."

Toad

 * ''"M-M-M-M-M-M-M-Mario! Help! It's Sh-sh-sh-sh-shocking... Mushroom Castle... RAIDED! Princess Peach... STOLEN!"
 * ''"We're counting on you, Mario...Bros.!"