Donkey Kong

"Ahhh... delicious bananas..."

- Donkey Kong

Donkey Kong, also known as DK, is a powerful Kong from Donkey Kong Island. In fact, there have been two separate Donkey Kong. The original Donkey Kong from the Donkey Kong arcade game eventually became Cranky Kong, while his son Donkey Kong Jr. became the current Donkey Kong. The current Donkey Kong is a carefree simian who spends his days collecting Bananas and spending time with his friends, particularly Diddy Kong. However, when trouble arises, Donkey Kong jumps headfirst into the action to help his friends and protect his island.

Donkey Kong’s character design was created by Shigeru Miyamoto for the Donkey Kong arcade game. Takashi Nagasako and later Charles Martinet voice acted for the character.

Kidnapped by Kamek


When Donkey Kong was a baby, he was stolen from his treetop home by Kamek and his Toady army during their massive kidnapping spree. However, DK met the Yoshis and greatly helped them in their quest to defeat the Koopa Troop. When riding on a Yoshi’s back, Donkey Kong helped them perform many special moves such as the vine climb and shoulder charge. It is unknown if this Baby Donkey Kong is the original Donkey Kong or the current Donkey Kong.

Monkey Love
Donkey Kongs first appearance (un-chronologically) was in the Arcade game of the same name, where he was the main villain. In the game Donkey Kong made off with Mario's girlfriend Pauline, and carried her to the top of a high construction site. He was pursued by Mario, and attacked him by throwing Barrels and creating living Fireballs. He was eventually pursued to the top of the construction site, where Mario caused the bars supporting him to crash, sending him to the ground.

Donkey Kong tried to kidnap Pauline yet again in the Gameboy game Donkey Kong '94, this time accompanied by his son Donkey Kong Jr.. Donkey Kong's tactics in this game remained virtually the same, he attacked mainly by throwing a variety of objects at the hero.

It is still speculated exactly WHY Donkey Kong tried to kidnap Pauline: while some sources say that he took her in revenge against Mario (who had abused him) others (perhaps trying to show Mario in a more favorable light) say that Donkey Kong fell in love with the damsel-in-distress.

Captive Kong
Donkey Kong took the role of damsel-in-distress during Donkey Kong Jr.. In this game, Mario actually kidnapped Donkey Kong (perhaps to keep him from from kidnapping Pauline) and stood guard next to his cage with a whip. In the end Donkey Kong Jr. arrived and defeated Mario to free Donkey Kong.

Battle for the Greenhouse
In Donkey Kong 3 Donkey Kong was a main villain once again, although this time he did not fight Mario (who had gone on to star in his own series, and would not meet with Donkey Kong again until much later). In this game, Donkey Kong has gone on a rampage inside a greenhouse and a local exterminator called Stanley the Bugman was called in to defeat him (along with other bugs destroying plants in the greenhouse). Donkey Kong would use a system of ropes to lower himself to the greenhouse floor. When he reaches the floor, the game ends and Donkey Kong is able to destroy the rest of the greenhouse. After Stanley sprays Donkey Kong with insecticide three times to keep him off the greenhouse floor, he runs away.

A Brief Disappearance
Because Donkey Kong 3 was notably less popular, Donkey Kong, (along with some other characters from the Arcade games) were not seen for a while. Donkey Kong did appear as a sort of host for the game Donkey Kong Jr. Math, where he gave the player math signs so that they would know which operation to perform. He also appeared in some re-makes and made small cameos, but had no large roles.

Maturity
After the battles between Donkey Kong and Mario played out, Donkey Kong Jr.'s life became much calmer. During this time, Donkey Kong Jr. forged lasting friendships with many of the Kongs, including his eager nephew, Diddy Kong, Funky Kong, and his current girlfriend Candy Kong. During this point in time, Donkey Kong Jr. was renamed Donkey Kong, and his father took the name Cranky Kong. He eventually moved out and began his reign over the jungle. Much of the monkey’s time was spent collecting Bananas to add to his Banana Hoard, and he lived a relatively laid back lifestyle as compared to his father, Cranky.

However, a band of Kremlings known as the Kremling Krew formed during this time. Their acts of violence and thievery put them at odds with Donkey Kong constantly, forcing him to guard his Banana Hoard every night.

Reclaiming the Banana Hoard
One night, Diddy Kong offered to guard the Banana Hoard for a night so Donkey Kong could sleep. However, during the night, several Kremlings attacked and overpowered the young Kong and stole the entire stash.

On a stormy night, the Kremling Krew arrived at Donkey Kong Island and stole the Banana Hoard. When Diddy attempted to guard it, the Kremling soldiers trapped him in a barrel. The events enraged Donkey Kong upon his return to the Hoard, and he set out to reclaim his stash. Rescuing Diddy from his barrel prison along the way, the two of them slowly defeated the enormous Kremling forces as they traveled throughout Donkey Kong Island with the aid of Candy Kong, and Cranky Kong.

Eventually, Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong found King K. Rool, the leader of the Kremlings. After defeating the slightly deranged king, the Kongs reclaimed the Banana Hoard and returned home.

Cranky’s Bet
After returning home, Donkey Kong had hardly settled back into his life when Cranky approached him with a bet. Cranky believed that video games had become easier the more technology progressed. Therefore, he argued, Donkey Kong would not be able to defeat K. Rool had the events been chronicled on an 8-bit system instead of the 16-bit Super Nintendo. Cranky challenged Donkey Kong to defeat K. Rool on the Game Boy.

After Donkey Kong agreed, Cranky Kong contacted K. Rool and arranged for the adventure to be repeated. Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong defeated the Kremlings again, proving that they were heroes.

Kidnapped by Kaptain K. Rool


After his two long adventures, Donkey Kong decided to rest on the beach. During the night, the Kremlings kidnapped the ape, leaving their footprints and a smashed chair behind them. Donkey Kong was locked in a cage on Crocodile Isle, the latest Kremling hideout. Using DK as a bargaining chip, Kaptain K. Rool, the new identity of King K. Rool offered to return him in exchange for the Banana Hoard. However, instead of giving in, Diddy Kong and Dixie Kong defeated the Kremlings and rescued Donkey Kong. Crocodile Isle sank into the ocean afterwards.

Lured into a Trap
Having brought Crocodile Isle back to the surface, the Kremlings lured Donkey Kong there by using Kerozene as bait. While there, he was captured. Diddy and Dixie Kong saved Donkey Kong from the Kremlings and defeated Kerozene.

Kidnapped by KAOS
One day, DK decided to take his friend Diddy Kong on a fishing trip in the Northern Kremisphere. While there, they were overpowered and captured by the Kremlings, who claimed to now be ruled by an unusual mechanical being named KAOS. Back home, Dixie Kong grew suspicious when the Kongs did not return. She and her cousin Kiddy Kong set out to investigate, eventually discovering that Baron K. Roolenstein, another identity of King K. Rool, was behind the entire plot. Defeating him, Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong were released.

Race to the Lost World
Shortly after being rescued, Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong heard of a contest to discover the Lost World of the Northern Kremisphere. Once there, they set out to find the special area. Under their noses, the Kremlings began anew the KAOS plot. However, Dixie and Kiddie, who also entered the contest, were able to defeat them.

Blast-O-Matic


His plots to kidnap DK continuously coming short, King K. Rool ditched all traces of pretense and developed a machine, the Blast-O-Matic, capable of completely destroying Donkey Kong Isle. However, due to the incompetence of his underlings, K. Rool's Ship crashed into rocks offshore and delayed the blast. Squawks, a friend of Donkey Kong, witnessed these events and reported to DK. Donkey Kong discovered that all 201 of his Golden Bananas had been stolen and four of his friends kidnapped. Diddy Kong, Lanky Kong, Tiny Kong, and Chunky Kong were locked behind cages throughout the island.

Donkey Kong discovered a floating isle attached to the main mechanical island. Inside, K. Lumsy, an enormous, disobedient Kremling, had been locked up for not destroying the island. When DK promised to get him out of the cage, K. Lumsy jumped for joy, opening up a pathway to Jungle Japes. Once there, DK found Diddy Kong and freed him. Many other friendly faces were found among the Kremling armies, including Funky Kong, Cranky Kong, Snide, Troff, and Scoff. In a later area, Candy Kong also joined the fight. One of her gifts to Donkey Kong was a set of Bongos, which affected Donkey Kong's later life.

As Donkey Kong freed his buddies, they in turn helped him find his Golden Bananas and the keys to K. Lumsy’s cage. Eventually, the team was able to take on K. Rool in a boxing match. After his defeat, K. Rool fled the island.

Beginning His Bongo Career
While DK had previously used Bongos as an offensive weapon, his fascination with the instrument truly began when he discovered a magical set of Bongos on a beach. Once Cranky Kong realized his son’s potential for being a professional, Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong set out to become famous. On their travels, they revisited many locales and played popular songs through cooperative performances and musical face-offs.

Obsession Leads to Theft
After enjoying the life of a traveling musician, Donkey Kong returned home. Once there, he saw a television commercial for the new Mini Mario toys. Infatuated with the new fad, he rushed to the nearest toy store, only to find that other ravenous fans of the products had bought every last one. In frustration, Donkey Kong succumbed to his violent nature and broke into the Mario Toy Company where he made off with a sack full of Mini-Marios. However, Mario was hot on his trail, and followed hotly on his trail, using the toys dropped by the ape as allies. Eventually, Mario caught Donkey Kong and destroyed his robot, but rather than make the same mistake as was made with Cranky Kong, Mario forgave his old friend and they continued their lives.

Second Tour
When Dixie Kong joined Donkey and Diddy for a practice session, the trio realized their potential for musical chemistry. Shortly after, they set out on another tour which was very similar to Donkey and Diddy Kong's first one. However, they changed up their song list to include current popular songs of the time.

The Banana Kingdom and Beyond
While it was never clear what compelled Donkey Kong to travel to the Banana Kingdom and its sister lands, the ape set out on a mission to take down the possessed Dread Kong who ruled it. Upon doing so, he set out to the other nearby kingdoms. Utilizing his great strength, DK hoofed it alone through sixteen such kingdoms, eventually conquering the evil Sumo Kong of the Star Fruit Kingdom. After the fight, the other kings met Donkey Kong, now free of Sumo Kong’s curse. Presumably, DK allowed them to resume their duties. Donkey Kong may not have had honorable intentions for entering the kingdoms, but rather may have been searching for more Bananas and an improved reputation.

Fighting Again
In the sequel, Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2: March of the Minis, he now works in the Mario Toy Company. Donkey Kong then kidnaps Pauline, the V.I.P. guest, when she chooses Mario's Mini-Mario toy over his Mini-DK toy. It is likely that he made the Mini-Donkey Kong toys, and perhaps he created the monkey-like enemies that appear in the game.

The Festival Ruined
Donkey Kong had more work to do during DK: King of Swing. It was time for the annual Jungle Jam, a festival for the Kongs. However King. K. Rool returns and steals all of the medals needed to have the festival. Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong go after him to get there tokens back. In the end, they defeat K. Rool, and the festival is celebrated.

The Crystal Bananas
Donkey Kong, along with Diddy, Dixie, Cranky, Wrinkly, Funky, and Candy, were resting on the beach, when Diddy noticed a giant Banana. DK, Diddy, and Cranky went up to the top to find a Banana Spaceship. DK fought this spaceship, and found Xananab. They found that K. Rool and the Kremlings escaped with his five Crystal Bananas and he needs them back. DK and friends agree, and the four traveled through the islands, going through wormholes and other lands, such as Glass Labyrinth, Toybox, and Veggie Patch. At the end of each island, DK fought one of K. Rool's assistant Kremlings, and eventually when DK defeated the third Kremling, K. Rool fled to the King Kruiser IV. DK chased them, and eventually reached K. Rool's spaceship. There, they defeated the fourth Kremling, K. Rool went through a wormhole. DK followed, and they landed on Xananab's homeplanet. There they fought K. Rool, which was a tough battle. Eventually, though, the DK Crew once again won, and DK, Diddy, and Cranky got to eat all the bananas they could eat.

Barrel Blasting
DK and his friends then decided to go on a new adventure, this time a race with a lot of Kremlings and K. Rool. His rival in this game is a Kritter, and his stats are all averaged.

Other Appearances
Donkey Kong appears in various Mario sub-series. In NES Open Tournament Golf, a monkey looking exactly like Donkey Kong, except for the fact that it was wearing white clothes, appeared. It is presumed this monkey is Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong, tells the player, how much money he or she has. In later golf games, he would appear as a playable character.

Donkey Kong was playable in all of the the Mario Kart games except Super Mario Kart (this game instead had Donkey Kong Jr. as a playable character). In Mario Kart: Double Dash!!, Donkey Kong is partners with Diddy Kong. His special item is the Giant Banana and his kart is the DK Jumbo. He also gets his own course, DK Mountain. In Mario Kart DS he has two of his own karts: the Rambi Rider and the Wildlife. He was also playable in Mario Kart Super Circuit, Mario Kart Arcade GP and the upcoming Mario Kart Wii. He is be playable in Mario Kart Arcade GP 2. In all of these games he was a heavyweight driver, presumably also in Mario Kart Wii although nothing has been announced.

He is also playable in all of the golf, tennis and other sports titles. He is usually portrayed as a slow but powerful character. He often takes unconventional approaches to certain sports, like swinging a Golf Club one-handed or using a Boxing Glove for a Baseball Bat. The most interesting of these is the fact that he regularly uses his hands when playing soccer, to the point of holding the ball in one hand as he prepares to punch it with the other.

He was playable in all of the Mario Party games, up until Mario Party 5, here he leaves and starts hosting his own space. He is basically the opposite of Bowser, since when a character lands on his space, something good happens. He also is the third party board in Mario Party DS. Poor DK has been turned to stone by a Dry Bones while he and Diddy were running to Bowser's Castle in search of food. The player had to win the game and beat the Dry Bones o free Donkey Kong. The ape then runs away to the castle. At the end, he is seen with Diddy enjoying the meals Bowser had prepared as traps for the 8 "partyers".

He was going to appear in the now-canceled Diddy Kong Pilot and Donkey Kong Racing.

Super Smash Bros. Games
Donkey Kong is playable in all of the Super Smash Bros. games. In Super Smash Bros. he is a default character. In one-player mode, the player must fight Giant Donkey Kong. This is the only fight where the player is given two partners to help him, instead of one. Giant DK can stand about 350 damage before being knocked off the stage.

DK was also a playable character in Super Smash Bros. Melee. Once again, he was a default character. In the new one-player mode Adventure the player must first fight two Tiny Donkey Kongs, and then fight Giant Donkey Kong at Jungle Japes. By picking up a Super Mushroom, Donkey Kong can transform into Giant Donkey Kong for a few moments. Donkey Kong is always one of the strongest characters in the game. When he picks up a character, he also has the power to carry them a short distance, something no other characters can do.

Donkey Kong is scheduled to reappear as a playable character in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. His move are all the same from Melee and his Final Smash is the Konga Beat, probably inspired from the game Donkey Konga and Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat. Diddy Kong will also make an appearance in the game, as a playable character. Also there is something called the 8-bit Donkey Kong that appears on the 75M stage.

Solid Snake Codec Conversation

 * Snake: Otacon, there's a gorilla wearing a tie here. He's huge.
 * Otacon: That's Donkey Kong. As you can tell, he's got strength to spare. He may be king of the jungle, but he lives in a house just like you or me. And he seems pretty smart--well, for an ape, anyway. The Donkey Kong who fought that epic battle with Mario was this guy's grandfather.
 * Snake: That was a long time ago. What about this Donkey Kong? Does he get along with Mario?
 * Otacon: Nope, they're still at it. Seems like they're always competing in something--kart racing, sports, you name it.
 * Snake: A chip off the old block...

Role in The Subspace Emissary
The Koopa Troop and Bowser steal Donkey Kong's Banana Hoard-as Hammer Bro. drives a car which contains all the bananas of Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong watches him from a cliff. Hammer Bro. and the Goombas aboard the car spot Donkey Kong and shoot Bullet Bills at him. However, Diddy Kong comes out from a bush and with his Peanut Guns, he shoots the Bullet Bills. Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong then follow the Hammer Bro. to retrieve the Banana Hoard. After following him, they see Bowser with a strange type of gun that Wario also used. He then shoots Donkey Kong and turns him into a trophy, while Diddy Kong flees. Soon, Mario turns DK back to normal. Seeing Diddy is a trophy, they help him.

Appearances in Other Media
Donkey Kong, along with Mario and Pauline appeared in several episodes of the Saturday Supercade. Here Donkey Kong was a gorilla who had escaped from the circus and was now traveling the across country, with Mario and Pauline on his tail. Donkey Kong Jr. was also featured in a few of Saturday Supercade's episodes. On the show DK Jr., along with his pal Bones traveled across the globe searching for Donkey Kong.

Donkey Kong made occasional appearances on Captain N: The Game Master. Here he was, more or less, a giant, bestial, monster. Often times on the show Donkey Kong was manipulated by Mother Brain and her minions to do evil. Donkey Kong also appeared in the Captain N comics.

Donkey Kong was also one of the main characters on the Donkey Kong Country animated series. Here he was the future ruler of Kongo Bongo Island and the guardian of the Crystal Coconut, often times Donkey Kong and his pals would need to defend the Crystal Coconut from the Kremling Krew and Kaptain Skurvy and his minions. On this show Donkey Kong was, like in recent games, somewhat of a slacker who loved bananas above all else.

He is also the main character in the Club Nintendo comic "Donkey Kong Country", which tells the story of the game of the same name - together with Diddy Kong, he tries (and manages) to fetch the Banana Hoard back from King K. Rool.

Who is Donkey Kong?
Donkey Kong's exact role in the Mario series is somewhat sketchy. His original appearance portrayed him as a villainous-or just stupid and confused-ape with unequaled strength. In these games, Donkey Kong didn't wear a tie, like he does now.

However, with the release of Donkey Kong Country, Donkey Kong was given a new personality, a new home, and a single piece of clothing (a tie with the letters DK printed on them). Donkey Kong Country also saw the appearance of Cranky Kong, who claimed to be the original Donkey Kong from the old Arcade games. It was confirmed that the tie wearing DK was a different character from the original DK in Donkey Kong's Mario Superstar Baseball bio, where it makes a reference to "his ancestor (the original Donkey Kong)....". Thus, it is widely believed now that Cranky Kong is an older version of Mario age-old nemesis, while the current Donkey Kong (who inherited his ancestors name) is the older version of Donkey Kong Jr. This argument still goes on today.

Powers and Abilities
Unlike most characters, who have some kind of special power, DK relies mainly on his brute strength to get his way through. In the original Donkey Kong he had a seemingly unlimited supply of Barrels, and could throw them easily. This carried on to the Donkey Kong Country games, where he can pick up and throw Barrels with ease. Also in Donkey Kong Country, he can destroy certain enemies that Diddy Kong cannot hurt with a single jump. In Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat, his strength is shown yet again, it makes him so strong that when he Claps, a sound-wave is produced. This is his main attack throughout the game.

Physical Appearance
Donkey Kong has muscular pecs, a slim stomach, and large triceps and biceps; all surrounded in chocolate brown fur. The fur on his head gives off the appearance of a human hairstyle. He wears a single item of clothing, a red necktie with the "DK" logo printed on it in yellow.

Diddy Kong
Diddy Kong is Donkey Kong's nephew and "little buddy". Diddy Kong has went on countless adventures with his more popular uncle, and has even rescued Donkey Kong a couple times. Diddy seems to have a more happy-go-lucky personality than his uncle, which is probably due to his youthful age. The relationship between Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong seems to be similar to the relationship of Mario and Luigi, only the two Kongs are not brothers.

Cranky Kong
Cranky Kong is Donkey Kong's crabby and constantly rambling father. He has usually found a way to help Donkey Kong out in his adventures, though it usually entails giving out advice.

Donkey Kong Jr.
Donkey Kong Jr. is, as most would guess, Donkey Kong's son. The young ape has appeared in few games, but he has helped to rescue his father from Mario. According to Rare however, Donkey Kong Jr. is actually Donkey Kong as a young child, much like Baby Donkey Kong.

Candy Kong
Candy Kong is the girlfriend of Donkey Kong. According to Super Smash Bros. Brawl however, she is only his "rumored" girlfriend. Also, Donkey Kong in the Mario series of games, has shown interest in Pauline instead of Candy Kong.

Mario
Donkey Kong and Mario have had quite the rivalry since the Donkey Kong Jr. era. Their rivalry has even taken a new course as witnessed in the Mario vs. Donkey Kong series. However, their rivalry sometimes takes a new spin in the sports games and party games. Though Donkey Kong is large in size, he is still quite a bit younger than Mario.

Pauline
Pauline was kidnapped by Donkey Kong in the original Donkey Kong game and Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2, and Mario had to rescue her. The relationship between Pauline and Donkey Kong is unknown, but she was probably kidnapped because the ape thought that she was "pretty".

Profile Information from ''Super Smash Bros.
''Donkey Kong and Mario started out as arch-rivals, but they've patched things up in recent years. These days DK spends his time searching the jungle for bananas instead of kidnapping beautiful maidens. In the past few years, other members of the Kong family have cashed in on DK's fame as well, including his favorite nephew, Diddy.''

Mario Hoops 3 on 3 info

 * Baller Name: Dunky Monkey
 * Type: Powerful
 * Special Shot: Konga Dunk
 * Letter to Tap: M

Mario Superstar Baseball Bio
"A gorilla known for raw power, DK lives a carefree jungle life... unless someone messes with his bananas, in which case he just loses it. His ancestor, Cranky Kong (the original Donkey Kong) wore no necktie. His talents lead in beating on primate foes and kart-racing. Fear his Banana Ball.

Mario Kart: Double Dash!! Information

 * Partner: Diddy Kong
 * Class: Heavy
 * Personal Kart: DK Jumbo
 * Special Item: Giant Banana

Official Artwork
''

Trivia

 * Super Mario Strikers is the first game in which Donkey Kong has worn something other than a tie since Donkey Kong Jr.
 * Donkey Kong's number in Super Mario Strikers is 55.
 * DK appears in Nintendo Monopoly. He replaces Marvin Gardens, and costs $280.
 * In Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga a skeleton monkey named Bink bears an uncanny resemblance to Donkey Kong
 * Donkey Kong's emblem in various games is his DK logo.
 * Donkey Kong's speech is changed throughout many games. During Donkey Kong Country he spoke well grammar and proper English. In Donkey Kong 64 he spoke un-proper grammar and English, and spoke in a third person view. For example he said "Donkey all confused....". In both games he only has 2 lines, and speaks in the very beginning of the game. In all later games, Donkey Kong doesn't speak at all and just made ape noises. However, in the Mario Party games released after Mario Party 4, he spoke with proper grammar-all Mario Party games before that, he only made monkey noises.
 * A Monster Truck based on DK appeared at Monster Jam 2007.

Quotes
The various quotes of Donkey Kong.

In ''Donkey Kong Country

 * "Ok, little buddy, as part of your hero training, you've got to stand guard tonight over my bananas... I'll relieve you at midnight, so try and stay awake until then!"
 * "My bananas and my buddy, Diddy, they are gone! The Kremlings will pay! I'll hunt them down through every corner of my island, until I have every last banana from my hoard back!"

In ''Donkey Kong 64

 * "What did Cranky mean about training? Donkey all confused..."
 * "Yes, Donkey will help K. Lumsy!"

In the DKC cartoon

 * "Banana-slamma!!"
 * "I would have called Cranky something else, but you were present."
 * "Aye aye, nose nose, throat throat, ablast me hardies, and shiver me tree trunks!"
 * "Hmmm, to know everything, I must give up everything... HEY! Little buddy, I'm giving you my tie collection!"
 * "Ohh... feels like I got the stuffing knocked out of me... Oh no! I did get the stuffing knocked out of me! Where's my stuffing?!"
 * "Arr, you got me confused with someone else. I'm Donkey Kroc the pirate, arr, and I'm looking for Donkey Kong the (mimics monkey) ape."
 * "That's not mine! Look, there's still a piece of banana inside! I never leave a banana bit! Can I have it?"
 * "I've never known any problem that couldn't be solved with a little nap."
 * "Help, Diddy! I've fallen, and I can't get up! Can you pass me a banana, little buddy?"
 * "It's hard to believe anybody this cute could have everybody so mad at him."
 * "It's the company's fault for making you want it so much."
 * "Back off or I'll have to slam you."
 * "It's more fun bein' in one of these biplanes than on top of some skyscraper!"
 * "I think HE'S the one with problems"*