List of Wario quotes

This is a list of quotes by Wario.

General

 * "I hate you."
 * "Wario time!"
 * "Wario wins!"
 * "Have a rotten day!"

Mario Kart 64

 * "''I'm-a Wario, I'm-a gonna win!"
 * "Wario! I gotta win!" (Japanese version)
 * "Here I go!"
 * "Here we go!" (Japanese version)
 * "Fire!"
 * "So ein Mist!" (Japanese version, German for "Blast it!", often mistaken for "D'oh, I missed!")

Mario Kart: Double Dash!!

 * "Yeah, oh yeah! Wario wins!"
 * "Arghhh! I'll get you next time!"
 * "I lost! To a buncha' losers!"
 * "Wario time!"
 * "Wario!"
 * "Here we go!"
 * "Out for me!"
 * "Yeah!"
 * "Nice try."
 * "Time for victory parade."
 * "Wario is great!"
 * "Ha-ha-ha! Wario!"

Mario Kart Wii

 * "Wario's great!"
 * "It's-a me, Wario!"
 * "I'm-a gonna win!"
 * "Let's-a win!"
 * "Wario time!"
 * "Yeah, baby!"
 * "Take that, loser!"
 * "Oo-ooooo! That hurts!"
 * "(spits) I'm back." (after falling from water)
 * "Oh yeah, red team!"
 * "Blue Team, ha ha ha!"
 * "Grrrr. I hate you."
 * "All right. Ahh, next time I get you."
 * "All right, I'll crush you next time."
 * "Let's-a go!"
 * "I hate losing! Nyeeeehhhhh!!!"
 * "Next time, I win! Eh. (Blows raspberry)"

Mario Kart 7

 * "Move it!"
 * "Wario next time!"
 * "Yeah! Take that, losers! Heh heh heh!" (1st place win)
 * "Mama miaaaaaa!!!"
 * "I hate you!"' (6th or Lower)

Mario Kart 8

 * "Wario... the legend!"
 * "Cheater!"
 * "Wario always win!"
 * "Oh, number one! Ha ha ha!"

Mario Party

 * "So ein Mist!" (German for "Blast it!", often mistaken for "D'oh, I missed")
 * "Oh my God!" (Japanese version only)

Mario Party 3

 * "Good choice!"
 * "Oh yes!"
 * "I'm the best!"
 * "Oh yeah! Wario's the winner!"
 * "How could you forget Wario's tremendous wit? You can't claim the Wit Star Stamp yet!"
 * "No one is more cunning than me!"
 * "Wario loses!? Impossible!"

Mario Party 4

 * "Yeah! I'm-a gonna win!"
 * "Aww, I lost!"

Mario Party 6

 * "You get... Wario!"
 * "Aaa! I lost!? "
 * "Ah ha ha!"
 * "Yeah!"
 * "Ah ha ha! I got it!"
 * "Come on!"
 * "Ah ha ha! Wario's the winner!"

Mario Party 8

 * "Hahaha! Take that, losers!"
 * "Wario time!"
 * "Loser!"
 * "*raspberry* Excuse me."
 * "Wario's the winner!"
 * "Wario the winner!"
 * "I'm a Superstar!"
 * "We're the winners!"
 * "Mario Party 8!"

Super Mario Party / Mario Party Superstars

 * "I'm-a number one! Ha ha ha!"
 * "Wario time!"
 * "Wario!"

Mario Golf

 * "It should've been called Wario Golf... you gonna love it!"
 * "One, two, three, FORE!"
 * "Hurry up, will ya?"
 * "Mamma mia!"
 * "Super duper duper duper Wario!"
 * "Wario Golf 64!... All right, Mario Golf 64."
 * "Oh yeah!"

Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour

 * "Nintendo! Heh heh heh heh heh heh."
 * "Look at these chumps."
 * "What? Are you my caddy?"
 * "Urp... Sorry!"
 * "Shank it! Ahh hah hah hah!"
 * "Need a lesson, loser?!?"
 * "Hit it, slowpoke!"
 * "Good luck! To ME! Ahh ha hah hah!"
 * "Who do you think you are buster?"
 * "If you win, I hate you."
 * "Wa ha ha ha!"
 * "Challenge me? You? I'm the best golfer in the world. I'm not scared!"
 * "Golf time, baby!"
 * "Wa ha ha ha ha! Wario, hot stuff, baby!"

Mario Golf: Advance Tour

 * "Nintendo! Heh heh heh heh heh heh."

Mario Golf: World Tour

 * "This place is so crummy, if they didn't have free food and drink, I wouldn't waste my time here."
 * "I just couldn't make myself care about the Seaside Course Championship this time around, so of course I lost. But look at Yoshi! HAH! At least I didn't lose to the Forest Course champion. How embarrassing!"

Wario World

 * "Get out of here!"
 * "Wheee!"
 * "Nana nana, nanana. Sorry."
 * "Wonderful!"
 * "Here we go!"
 * "Oh, no!"
 * "Oh, yeah!"
 * "Okay!"
 * "Wahoo!"
 * "Hah hah, wahoo!"
 * "Yeah!"
 * "All right!"
 * "All excellent!"
 * "Huh? What did you do!?"
 * "This isn’t funny, you idiots!"
 * "I’m... I’m WARIO! I can’t live in something like this!"
 * "Oh, I like that. Not bad at all!"
 * "Thats it! That’s the stuff! Now, that’s the kind of place a guy like me deserves!!!"

Wario Land 4

 * "Oh no, no! Hurry up!"
 * "Oh sorry!"
 * "So these are my basic controls! You got a problem with that? Pretty easy, huh? What?! You say it's hard? Stop complaining and just learn it! If you can't hold it in your brain, write it down on your hand!"
 * "I ain't normal! And I don't mean that I'm stupid! I can do aaalllll kinds o' stuff that normal humans can't, you know what I mean? How 'bout that? Amazing, huh?"
 * "My brain is amazing! It's full of wrinkles, and... Uh... Wait... What am I trying to say?"
 * "Rumor has it that no one who's entered the Golden Passage have ever come out alive! Scary!"
 * "HEY! Open up the vortex for me, you warty little frog!"
 * "Yeahhhhh, that's ME!!! More gorgeous than any Hollywood star! Get a good look at me while you can!!"
 * "Have some fun, why don't cha! Play mini-games!"
 * "This game is perfect for empty-headed dunces that don't like to think much!! Of course, I'm a genius... I wonder why I'm so good at it?!"
 * "''My game has a lot of action in high places, but to tell you the truth, I'm afraid of heights!! Waaah! Scary! I'm wigging out!!!"'
 * "I don't always speak so crudely, you know. I'm just worried about you because you play so badly!! Why do I care? Because I'm the one that feels it when you screw up, that's why!!! So just try to get better at this game, OK?! I'm begging you!"
 * "For some reason, coins appear when you smash enemies! For some other reason, crystals float around the stages! Don't think about it too hard, Einstein! There are some supernatural phenomena in the world that just can't be explained!!"
 * "Haven't you kids ever done something that made you look stupid? Oh, is that right? Well, FINE then! But even the powerful Wario gets into some embarrassing situations in this game! I eat too much and get all chubby, a bee stings my face and makes it swell like a balloon, my body catches fire, and all kinds of other bad things happen to me!! But I'm a tough guy, so I keep coming back for more! You wimps could learn something from me!"
 * "Burp! Grunt! Wheeze! I sweat buckets with every step and I can hardly breathe! How could my slim, gorgeous body get like THIS? I shouldn't have gotten so greedy and eaten all those apples!! I guess you really are what you eat!!"
 * "Those pesky bees!! They've made my beautiful face swell up like a balloon! What?! You say I look better this way? I won't even be able to star in my own commercials looking like this!!"
 * "When that twerpy little bat Minicula bites me and sucks my blood, I turn into a bat! My big, macho arms turn into puny little wings!! By the way, what's my blood type? You sucked my blood, the least you can do is tell me that!! What a pest!!"
 * "I've been smashed flat by a weight!! You'd expect my guts to be all squished and squashed, but wait! What's this?! How mysterious! How could this be! Now I feel very light and I can squeeze into thin passageways!!"
 * "When a mallet hits my head, my long, toned legs turn into a spring! Not great, but it lets me jump amazingly high!"
 * "Hey!! Wait a sec! What's happened to me!? I've got a fork sticking out of me, but I'm no piece of meat! Who stuck this in me? I'll get you!"
 * "Somebody! Give me some tissues! It's not that I need to go to the bathroom or anything, but a lump of snow just fell from the ceiling, and I've become a big snowman! Now my nose is running like crazy! What'll Nintendo do if their BIG STAR gets a cold?!"
 * "Uh oh! Trouble! I can't get out of here! I've been trapped inside a big bubble!! I'm in bubble trouble! That's just a little joke of mine, heh heh!! How 'bout it? Funny huh? You should write that one down!"
 * "Goo-waaah!! Help! I'm on fire! Somebody! Help! In the time it's taken me to say this, my whole body's been covered in flames! Don't you think this is just too much?! I blame the game programmers! I'll remember this! GRRR!!"
 * "Hey! After burning, I have to freeze?!! Aaah! What's going on with this game?! Is this some kind of cruel experiment? Anyone else would've given up by now!!"
 * "Taking care of most of my enemies is easier than taking candy from babies – which I highly recommend, by the way!! What enemies, you ask? All those stupid little creatures, of course!! Still, there are some enemies that can give me trouble... but I just power through ‘em anyway! Wham! Pow! Blam!"
 * "He brags about being a great painter, but trust me - his personality is anything but great! I know, because I'm so charming, right?! Whatever!! I just wish he'd wear pants!! It's only polite, don't you think?!"
 * "He looks like a pushover... Too bad he's not an enemy! I'm out here risking my life and he just sleeps all day! Hey! Keyzer! You'd better wake up and smell the coffee or I'm to smack you one real nice!!"
 * "You guys know what CDs are right? That's right, those little shiny record-things! I still listen to records, but maybe you kids don't know anything but CDs these days... Whatever!!"

Welcome to Greedville

 * "Welcome to my town! Elegant! Lovely! Ain't it? Come on, time's a-wastin'! Enter one of my fantastic attractions, he-he-hey!"
 * "What do I look like, some kind of puppet!?" - If the player clicks on him

Pyramid Theater

 * "Boo-hoo! I'm crying because Wario Land 4 is just - it's just so - beautiful! Look at these exclusive stills and clips!"

Wario's Arcade

 * "Step right up! Sure, you're old enough, but are you bold enough to enter Wario's amazing arcade?"

Wario's Grab Bag

 * "Oh, whoops! Too bad!"
 * "Oh, boy..."
 * "Ho-hoh, whoo, nice prize! Heheheh!" - If the player picks up a valuable item
 * "Ooh, oh, so nice, what a great prize! I bet Mario would really like it, too!" - If the player picks up a junk item
 * "Hey, thanks for playing! Here's ten Wario bucks!"

Wario's Crazy Caps

 * "Come on!"
 * "I'm-a so cool, hey!"
 * "Come on, double or nothing - that's my only offer!"
 * "All right! Heh, heh, heh!"
 * "Thank you for playing! Here's ten Wario Bucks! Aren't I generous? Now go buy something in my store!"

Wario's Dunk Tank

 * "You're no !"
 * "Your aim's not so good, heheheheheh!"
 * "You missed me, you missed me, please do not kiss me! Heheheheh!"
 * "Aaaaah, I'm gonna get you!" - If the player hits the target

Wario Mart

 * "Hey, is this thing on? Oh, heh-heh. Attention, Wario Mart shoppers! Everything we have is top-quality merchandise! The best. You can trust me!"
 * "I would never lie to you, old buddy, old pal."
 * "I got other buyers, you know."
 * "Come on, what does this look like, Mario's Mini Mart? Hurry up!"
 * "It's all great stuff, trust me!"
 * "Hey! Time's a-wastin'!"
 * "Oy... Window shoppers! Blegh."
 * "What's the holdup here?"
 * "You, are trying, my patience."

Greed $chool

 * "Hey, you, ! Take the Greed $chool Test! It's about time you learned something really useful!"

Mario Power Tennis

 * "Nintendo! Heh heh heh heh heh heh."
 * "It's the fuzz!"
 * "What's this dump?"
 * "Oh, shut up."
 * "What the heck is going on... what?"
 * "Oh no! Somebody cheated. I CAN'T LOSE!!!"
 * "Hello? Ma, I told you not to call me today! I'm making a video..."

WarioWare Twisted Marble Maze Game

 * "Eat your garlic and give me your money!"

WarioWare: Touched!

 * "Wario here! No offense, but you stink! My Touch Training stage is guaranteed to make you 138 percent less pathetic! (Don't be a disgrace: score over 30 points!)"
 * "This'll be easy. No pressure. Just don't screw up!"
 * "MEH! Not bad... for a chump!"

From the manual
 WA HAH HAH HAH! I'm filthy, dirty, gut-churningly rich!!! It's all thanks to WarioWare, Inc's success! That still hasn't stopped me from swiping stuff. Just the other day, I pilfered a couple of portable game systems! Well, then I fell and dropped them down a manhole. This old guy popped out and asked me if I'd dropped those two systems or this other system I'd never seen before. I lied and took them both! ''ARRRGGG! How do I work this thing?! It's got two screens! Wait...I can use this weird little stick on the screen to play! This is actually fun! I've got it–I'll trick people to make me a bunch of microgames for free and then I'll sell them to the masses. With two screens, I'll make twice as much money! CHA-CHING!'' ''TOUCH IT! The screen, that is! Grab a stylus and poke, rub, and scratch the screen to play my glorious microgames! If you see a kitty, poke it! If you see a genie lamp, rub it! It's so easy, even a chump could figure it out–I'm a GENIUS!!!''   KNOCK IT OFF Get your grubby hands off of the Touch Screen! Whaddya think the stylus is for?! USE IT!
 * "Press START or press Up on the Control Pad to pause the game. You never know when you'll need to take a second to extract a nose nugget!"
 * "When you want to take a break to scarf down some tacos or something, just shut the Nintendo DS, and it'll take a nap! To wake it up, just open it up again and you can pick up where you left off!"

Quit bangin' on the Touch Screen! Unless you wanna break it... If so, go right ahead!

Stop touching the top screen. IT WON'T WORK! 
 * ''"My game is a smash hit! This shouldn't surprise anyone–it's the brainchild of me, the greatest video game designer in the history of everything! So, all that money the game is making is MINE MINE MINE! But everyone is conniving against me, saying, 'We designed your microgames! We want to get paid!' AARGH! They didn't do SQUAT! They're not gonna get anything! WHA?! HEY, quit doodling on my gorgeous, yet manly, face!!!"

WarioWare: Smooth Moves

 * "BWAHAHAHA!!! Waaaaario here! The other day, I found this crazy stick-thing in those old ruins. I just KNOW it's worth something! All I gotta do now is figure out how it works."
 * "WAAAHAHAHA! I'm Wario! This stick-thing is amazing! Just holding it makes my body move! I bet I could make a mint teaching these new moves to everyone in town!"
 * "Hey, ! So you have a Form Baton too, huh? There are lots of different forms you can do depending on how you hold it, but I stick with what I know best, the Remote Control! But that's fine by me!"
 * "Waaario here with a new bulletin, so listen up! I put a bulletin board up in town for residents to post messages! I don't get my jolies (NSTSC)/kicks (PAL) doing nice things, so you all better use it!"
 * "Excellent!"
 * "Wah-hoo!"
 * "Bwah-ha-ha!"
 * "Okey-dokey!"
 * "Okay!"
 * "Bye Bye!"
 * "This Stinks!"
 * "Oh No!"
 * "Arrghhh!"
 * "What?!"

WarioWare Gold

 * "It's mine! Gold! I love gold! This thing's heavy..."
 * "It's pizza time. Oh yeah, no money."
 * "I need to make some quick cash. Heh. And fast."
 * "Hey! Look here! It's Wario."
 * "IT'S. ME. WAR-I-O!"
 * "I'll bet half those gamers gave up. What a bunch of chumps!"
 * "HUH?! They cleared eight whole levels?"
 * "And if you lose your thingy..."
 * "Well, then you're stuck using your finger."
 * "Oh! The money! The power! I feel it ....inside! Gurgling! ... Building! it's...it's uh...EXPLOSIVE!"
 * "Now, do your worst! Next to me, you're all number two!"
 * "''Fine! Take it! Get lost. And potty in peace!
 * "That's it. Game over. Go home! Go away! You bother me."
 * "Fat chance! This money's mine!"
 * "It's mine. MINE! WARIO'S!"

Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix

 * "Wahahahaha! You'll never catch me! Or the key!"
 * "This is my key! If you want it, you'll have to pry it out of my cold, gloved hands!"
 * "I'm going to use the Music Key for my newest attraction! It's called "DDR: Wario Mix.""
 * "It's an exploration of greed, stench, and stubby legs through interpretive dance."

Mario Superstar Baseball

 * "Aargh! Mario! You musta cheated last game, but not THIS time. Chump! I'm the only one in this entire kingdom with any class whatsoever! This time, I mean business! Go time! It is ON!"
 * "Wah ha ha ha ha ha! You're gonna feel the power, baby! And it'll HURT!"
 * "Argh! You're not gonna play?! Wimp! Why did you come here, then?! Are you... just here to tick me off? ARGH! How DARE you! Messing with me, a fine, upstanding member of the community?!"
 * "AAAAAAAAAARGH! I lost to Mario! UGH! Mario, of all people! Oooooog... Boy, my belly is aching up a storm right now... ...Urp! I wonder it... Could it be that green mushroom I ate!? NOOO! YAAAARGH! Mario! You tricked me into chowing down that toadstool! A misunderstanding?! You WEASEL! You know you did it! YAAAARGH!"
 * "YAAAAAAAAAARGH! You stink! But...you know what? I'm just gonna let it go. Yeah. I'm above holding grudges. I'll even lend you a hand! Admit it, you wanted me with you anyway! Wah ha ha ha ha ha ha! With me on board, victory is totally guaranteed! Heh heh heh heh... Idiot... That team will be all MINE someday... Hmm? What? Er... Nah, I didn't say anything! You're hearing things!"
 * "Mario Mr. Chump play against a real superstar!"
 * "Hold on, I think I left the stove on."
 * "Uh, yeah, and it's only the GREATEST TEAM EVER! I'll ruin you! Ready for a blowout?" (to Peach)
 * "It's ON!"
 * "You need me, huh? Well, I'll join your team... since you obviously can't live without me!" (to Peach)
 * "Hey! Keep your claws off that! You'll break it!" (to Bowser)
 * "Shut up! Now we'll see once and for all who's the strongest!" (to Bowser)

Mario Super Sluggers

 * "A Treasure Chest! Outta the way! This one's mine!, I just turn here... and tweak here... aaaaaaand... whaaaaaaaa!"
 * "What took you so long, losers?! I'm so hungry, I could eat five of you."
 * "Nya! Something stinks and it ain't me! There are bad guy losers around somewhere."

Mario Strikers Charged

 * "Ha! I'm bad, I'm bad! Yeah! Huh! Haha!"
 * "''Gimme the ball!"
 * "I'm open!"
 * "Augh, I give up!"
 * "Haha! Woohoo! *Teammates drop him* Hey! Keep throwing me!"
 * "Pull my finger!"
 * "Excellent vintage."
 * "Juicy!"
 * "Spicy!"
 * "All right, I score!"
 * "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! Grah! You stupid *ball explodes on him*... ball."

Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games

 * "Ha Ha Ha! Wario's the winner!"
 * "Oh no, I lose? Waaaaa!"
 * "Ya! Ya! Wario wins!"
 * "Aaah! I get you next time!"
 * "Argh. I let you win."

Fortune Street

 * "It's graffiti time, kids! I'll plaster my name all over this island!"
 * "This place is nothing but a measly pile of rocks! You want a castle, Peach? I'll build you a castle!"
 * "I'm gonna snatch up every last Yoshi on that island and sell 'em to a collector! I'll be rich!"
 * "The big treasure in this place is a wand, huh? Guess a silly stick is better than a Black Jewel!"
 * "If I turn that M upside down, this'll be all mine!"
 * "Nyah hah, hah, listen to my fans cheering me on! They want Wario to win this one, so let's give 'em what they want!!"
 * "Phew! It's like a giant steam bath in here! I better not sweat off any weight... I need the calories to win!"
 * "Nyah hah hah! A race, huh? Eat my exhaust!"
 * "This planet would fetch a pretty penny on the open market. I'm gonna take it with me when I leave!"
 * "I'm on Mario's turf now, so I guess I'm gonna have to show off my super moves! Prepare to be amazed, suckers."
 * "Nyah! Is that treasure I smell? All I gotta do is win this game... Then I'm gonna find me some gold in these ruins!"
 * "Nyah! I bet there isn't a single treasure on that whole stinkin' island! Nothing but those quivering little blobs!"
 * "Huh? Who cares about some legendary hero? The only legend you need to know about is the legend of WARIO!"
 * "I'm supposed to change jobs here or something? Don't go telling me what to do! Wario makes the rules around here!"
 * "A flying train AND a flying castle? Hmmm... I think I'm gonna turn this place into an amusement park and rake in the cash!"
 * "Stop trying so hard, (Player's name)! Let first place be with professionals - like me! What does it matter!? JUST LET ME BE IN FIRST PLACE!"
 * "Hey, (Player's name)! That's MY district! You're not supposed to buy a shop there without my permission!"
 * "Make way for the great Wario, peons!"
 * "I'm in the lead! Any of you guys try to pass me, I'll tie your shoelaces together! Nyah hah hah!"
 * "KA-POW! This district's MINE! Ahh...I'm so very impressed with myself right now."
 * "Huh? Who is this Waluigi person? Never heard of anyone by that name."
 * "Psst, (player's name)! You wanna win? Then give me all your money so we can both be rich together! Trust me!"
 * "Blast it! One of these days I’m gonna beat you at your own game, (Player’s name)!"
 * "I'd rather melt my gold and throw it into a river than to give it to Mario... but I gotta do it!"
 * "Luigi! Next time you charge me this much gold to shop here, I'll pluck out your mustache one whisker at a time!"
 * "You're robbing me blind, Peach! How about I just give you a kiss and we'll call it even?"
 * "Blast it all! You won't get away with this!"
 * "No one's impressed with your overpriced shop, Bowser. Stop trying so hard!"
 * "I'm gonna make mushroom stew out of you, Toad!"
 * "That's it, Donkey Kong! I'm selling you to the zoo!"
 * "There! Are you happy with yourself? You made Wario pay out the nose!"
 * "C'mon, beanpole! Let's work together! Gimme half your money, and I won't sit on you!"
 * "Nyah hah hah! This shop's just as puny as you are, Mario!"
 * "You're getting too greedy for your own good, Bowser. I can smell your desperation a mile away!"
 * "Nyah hah hah! As long as my mustache is crooked, I will never let you win, (player's name)!"
 * "Hey, you! Knock off the banana talk, and do something to stop (Player's name) from reaching the bank!"
 * "Waluigi, if you're just gonna stand there making up rhymes and blocking the way, no one is gonna win! So get a move on!"
 * "Slow down there, (player's name)! I wanna collect a few more gold coins before this game ends!"

Commercials

 * "Obey Wario, destroy Mario! Hehehehehe..." - Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins US/UK commercial
 * "Oh, that damage we can do, breaking havoc and destruction! Hahahahahahaha! Bomberman will never know what hit him!" - Wario Blast: Featuring Bomberman! Western commercial
 * "Repeat after me. I'm the bad guy in Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3, where being bad is good and greed is good!" - Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3 Western commercial
 * "Wait 'til they get a load of me!" - Virtual Boy Wario Land Western commercial

Mario in Real Time

 * "You want fun? Wario show you fun!" -  1996 appearance

Super Mario: Manga Adventures

 * Wario: "C'est moi ! Wario !" (It's me! Wario!)
 * Mario: "C'est toi Wario?!?" (It's you Wario?!?)
 * Mario: "Eh bien bonjour, enchanté ! Moi c'est Mario, voici ma carte de visite!" (Well, hello! Nice to meet you! This is Mario, here's my visit card!)
 * Wario: "Oh, il ne fallait pas!" (Oh, you shouldn't have to!)
 * Wario: "Enchanté ! Voici mon poing de visite!" *punches Mario* (Nice to meet you! Here's my visit fist!)

Charles Martinet's profile on Vine and Instagram
The following are quotes from a series of videos posted by Charles Martinet on his and  accounts. In them, he impersonates Mario, Luigi and Wario while on a trip in.
 * Mario: "Oh yeah, welcome to Chile, Wario."
 * Wario: "Oh, have a rotten day! (raspberry)"
 * Mario: "Well, you know what they say... Chile today..."
 * Luigi: "Yea, hot tamale!"
 * Wario: ".......why?"
 * Mario: "...I don't know."
 * Luigi: "I don't know."
 * Wario: "Humph!"
 * "Giant crab...at last, someone I can relate to."
 * Mario: "Isn't that funny? It's because he's a crab!"
 * Luigi: "Yeah, and, and, and he's crabby!"
 * Mario: "Exactly!"
 * Wario: "I, I... I just... I just don't get that."
 * Mario: "Because you see, he's a crab."
 * Wario: "Yeah, yeah, I get that part."
 * Luigi: "And he's crabby!"
 * Wario: "This is a comedy lesson for you: why did the banano fall out of the tree?"
 * Mario: "I don't know. Why?"
 * Luigi: "Why?"
 * Wario: "Uh, because it was dead. See? That's funny! (laughs)"
 * Mario: "Mama mia..."
 * Luigi: "Oh..."
 * Wario: "Now, this is funny: why did Banano fall out of the tree?"
 * Mario: "Wait, wait. Did you say, 'Banano'?"
 * Luigi: "Oh..."
 * Wario: "Now, this is funny: why did Banano fall out of the tree?"
 * Mario: "Wait, wait. Did you say, 'Banano'?"
 * Mario: "Wait, wait. Did you say, 'Banano'?"

Wario takeover
As part of advertising for WarioWare Gold, Super Mario UK's Twitter feed was briefly used for tweets authored by Wario.
 * "IT'S. ME. WAR-I-O! #WarioWareGold is out now on Nintendo #3DS family systems! That's right, you heard me. IT'S. OUT. NOW!"
 * "I'm back and better than ever in 300 microgames, where you've gotta touch, twist, mash, and blow your way to victory! - Wario"
 * "Pull out nose hairs, grab a free toilet, buff me up by helping me bicep curl – not that I need the help! – and more! - Wario"
 * "It's one bundle of goodness, fitting for a handsome 'stached individual like me! - Wario"
 * "Get excited for my brand new game! Like me, it's THE BEST! WAHAHAHA! I'm gonna be filthy rich! - Wario"
 * "We done? Let's not drag this thing out. - Wario"