Lumpy (character)

"My name's Lumpy, and I'm heading out to Dry Dry Desert to prospect for oil! I've lived my life hoping to get rich quick... and now my chance has come!"

- Lumpy

Lumpy is a green Ratooey that loafs around on the east side of the Rogueport dock and appears during the events of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. He wants to go to Dry Dry Desert to find oil and strike it rich. If Mario talks to Lumpy, he will ask him to give him 100 coins so that he can begin his expedition. He can give Lumpy 100, 200, or 300 coins total (Mario can only give 100 coins at a time, however). Once Mario pays Lumpy three increments of 100 coins, Lumpy will not ask for more funds. Lumpy leaves after Chapter 4 for his search for "black gold", and returns to Rogueport after Chapter 6. If Mario gives him 100 Coins, Lumpy will bring him back 300 coins. If Mario gives him 200 coins, he will bring him back 600 coins (500 coins in the Japanese version). If Mario gives him the maximum 300 coins, he will bring him back 999 coins. In this case, if Mario has any coins already, he will not be able to get his entire share because the player can hold at most 999 coins. Mario can also listen to his log book's entries that he wrote when he was on his adventure, which he claims is slightly embarrassing.

Part 1: The Night Before
''I'm finally off tomorrow! I've filled my pack with cheese, and I'm ready to go! My to-do list is crossed off. I owe so much to all of my investors... Not just money! The old get-rich-quick dream...but this is different. I have a reason... See, I owe it to my hometown. It's so cold there, people are constantly shivering. If I find oil and send it there, people can use it to heat their homes. Oil will make me rich and them happy. Seems like the perfect goal, right? I had always, always... had this dream, since I was very small. Of course, getting rich is a big part of it too, but who doesn't want money? Money! Money! Cover me with it, please! Hahhhhhhhhhhh... Well, enough for tonight...''

Part 2: The Buzzar Fiend
''Why did it have to turn out like this? I got to Toad Town by boat, then took a train to the foot of Mt. Rugged. Unfortunately, you can only get from Mt. Rugged to Dry Dry Desert on foot. And tragedy waited for me as I slogged faithfully up that winding trail...It was a huge, awful vulture! I had read about it in my travel brochures! This Buzzar accosted all travelers on Mt. Rugged! I hightailed it, but Buzzar had me in its sights. I felt a piercing jolt as its claws dug deep into my backpack. After dropping me onto a cliff, Buzzar seemed to forget me and disappear. I let out a sigh of relief, but when I touched my back, I noticed my pack was gone! My pack! In it was all my food and money to start the operation! No! That mangy Buzzar made off with everything of importance to me! All I have left is this journal, a shovel to dig for oil, and my life...But perhaps living is miracle enough...or so I'd like to believe. But now...I can't turn back. I climbed down the mountain to the desert. The Dry Dry Desert sprawls out before me, beckoning dreamers and fools...I am both, and I set out with a heart full of dread...''

Part 3: A Helping Hand
''I am now in a place called Dry Dry Outpost. Someone pulled me, lifeless and parched, from the merciless desert floor...It was a Koopa with a fine mustache named Kolorado. An angel in a pith helmet...He was a world-traveling adventurer-archaeologist. I told him about Buzzar...And my quest for oil...And my dreams of riches and warmth for my people...After I spoke at length, he gave me food and water. I asked him why he should be so kind, and he looked into the distance and said..."Turning one's back on an ambitious dreamer...Invites others to do the same to you, old boy. I just...I just want to believe in every dream this sad old world can muster." This guy, he still chases his own dreams, dusty dreams of archaeology. We stayed up all night discussing each other's dreams. It was great. ''

Part 4: A Reliable Guide
''I am now at a desert oasis. After Kolorado left, I set out from Dry Dry Outpost to find my digging point. But the desert is so wide...It's impossible to find anything without a guide. I had no idea where I was going, and my head was splitting in the heat. My throat was burning and scratchy...Was I awake? Was I asleep? I heard a voice calling to me from far away..."Hey, are you a nice guy? If you're a nice guy, then give me something nice." I didn't have the food or water I received from Kolorado. I had nothing. "Why do you lie here? If you are a nice guy, give me a nice thing, and I will help." I croaked "All I have is...All I have is my dream..." When I next awoke, I was at this oasis. "You're awake!" I heard! There was a Squeek there in a gray head scarf. "My name is Moustafa. You had nothing to give, but I got something nice anyway!" I don't know how or why, but it seems I'd been saved by yet another stranger..."Do you need a guide? If there is somewhere you want to go, I will take you." Unbelievable! I've actually found a reliable guide.''

Part 5: The Digging Point
''We're here! I'm finally at the spot where I'm supposed to dig for oil! I was told to draw a line from a blue cactus to a cactus-like rock...I went north a precise distance from the exact termination point...I ended up here, at a point between Dry Dry Ruins and the oasis...Moustafa has guided me this far with skill and bravery...He said, "You are a nice guy. Your dream will come true. Moustafa believes this." He left then, leaving me to fight this battle on my own! All I have to do is dig here until I find oil. That's all...I stocked up on lemons and limes at the oasis, so I should last a few days. I MUST find that oil!''

Part 6: The Long Dig
''I am digging...for oil now, and...my hand shakes...as I write these...perhaps final...words...I have been digging...from sunup to sundown...but...still no sign of...that sweet crude...Maybe...I've just picked a dry spot...in this cursed spot...in this cursed desert...But...I'm sure this...is where Merluvlee...told me to dig...Yes...I'm sure of it...There's...no more...food...or water...and even my hopes...have dwindled...to nothing...Ahhh...this is it...my dream...dies here...with me...under these...unforgiving skies...My...dream...My...My...? Wait...no...this is not it...my dream...is of something...else...yes...something else...Dig...Keep...digging...I...must...keep...digging......Arms...move...body...work...find...oil...''

Part 7: The Wrap-up
''I am now on a boat back to dear Rogueport. I did it! I finally struck oil in that dry desert! I have left the day-to-day operation to my men in the field, and now return home. It all came true...Striking it rich...Finding oil...My dream...But...somewhere along the way, this became more than just my dream. So many people have helped to make this dream happen. So many..."You had nothing to give, but I got something nice anyway!" Dear Moustafa..."I just want to believe in every dream this sad world can muster." Ah, Kolorado...People who lent me money...And gave me food...And showed me the way...So many hands reaching out to help me...I must do something for all of them! That feeling has pushed me even harder......I must share this feeling with the people who helped me as I struggled! I must share these words that have seared themselves into my heart: Dreams come true. -Lumpy-''

Tattle Information

 * That's Lumpy, a Ratooey. His dream is to strike it rich by finding oil. Gotta admire the dedication! Guys like this make me want to chase my dreams harder! Still... When I talk to him, it seems more like he's just up for whatever, you know?