Herman Smirch



Herman Smirch was a key character in the Gameboy Comic books published by Valiant Comics, as he was the one who would let Tatanga out of his video game prison to wreak havoc on the unsuspecting Earth. Herman Smirch also had little empathy for others, attempting to distance himself from a homeless Vietnam veteran and thinking to himself "Beggars should be shot!". Smirch worked at an electronics store where he is committing insider theft by stealing Game Boys because he feels he is underpaid for his work. His unsuspecting boss does not suspect Smirch of the theft and merely cautions him to be more vigilant for shoplifters. In the first issue of the Gameboy Comics ("In the Palm of Your Hand..."), Smirch was hypnotized into letting the alien villain out of the GameBoy he had stolen, but two nearby teenagers promptly did the same with Mario and the plumber quickly defeated the invader. However, Tatanga promptly escaped with Princess Daisy, whom he had kidnapped, into the console which he had come out of.

In the next issue ("It's a Small World After All"), Herman calls his mother, who convinces him to give up gaming and come home. After giving his GameBoy to two girls on the street, he ends up shoplifting another and again lets Tatanga out. Daisy wants to take a vacation, so Smirch suggests Walt Disney World. Tatanga hypnotizes Herman into hijacking a semi and then a 747 to Florida. However, unsatisfied with the jet's speed, they pile into the space shuttle, along with a kidnapped human named Tannis Rhodes. Herman feels pity for Tannis, and gives her his coat before going off to help his leader. Tannis, however, finds Herman's GameBoy in the jacket, and releases Mario. The ship smashes into the It's A Small World attraction at Disney Land, and Smirch quickly vacates.

The next story ("Team Play") starts off with him hiding from the police in his mother's house. When the mother of the two girls in the previous issue mails his first GameBoy back to him, he runs away to Wyoming, releasing Tatanga and his entire alien army. Thanks to an upgrade to his car, Smirch leads the squadron to China, where they begin setting up a new base of operations. But, an older brother of one of the boys from the first issue, who is a seaman on a US Navy aircraft carrier sees the goings-on and releases Mario from his own GameBoy. Mario tries to attack Tatanga's forces in his Sky Pop, but sees that they are using weaponry designed for the real world and has to retreat. The seaman notes that the island that has been taken over is American soil, and that Tatanga has effectively declared war on the United States. The seaman uses real world weaponry to upgrade Mario's Sky Pop in order to now match Tatanga's forces. After getting his plane, the Sky Pop, upgraded too, he drives the baddies off, making Smirch flee in terror in his car.

In the last story ("Pipes Is Pipes"), Herman is working at a famous carnival in Seaside Heights. This time around, when Tatanga is set free, it's Daisy's birthday and he has brought her here for a present. In this issue, all Herman does is set Tatanga free. He is not mentioned for the rest of the story.

Because of the series' early cancellation, the truth about Smirch's misadventures was never truly revealed - that he had merely hallucinated Tatanga, Daisy, and Mario coming out, and none of it was happening at all.