List of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes

This is a list of quotes from the game Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door; the quotes are listed by character.

Admiral Bobbery

 * “You seek Admiral Bobbery? I haven't heard of the gent. Take your search elsewhere.”
 * “Harumph! What poppycock! What would you want with me if I were this chap?”
 * ''“Oh, by Blabberton's beard! Not you again!”
 * “By Blubberly's blotches!”
 * “Hmmm? Sniff! SNIIIIFFFF! Ah, that distinctive bouquet! You... You've brought it?”
 * "Gulp... Slurp... AHHHH! This glorious flavor, dear boy... It awkens the mouth!"
 * "So, the sea was generous enough to deliver me this one last grace, eh?"
 * "I have nothing left in this world now... Thank you for granting my last wish..."
 * "Now I shall be reunited with my dear Scarlette..."
 * "Fare...well... Captain...Mario..."
 * "HUP! HUP! WOT WOT?!? Yobbity yobbity...PIRATES! Where are those pirates?!?"
 * "...What, now?"
 * "Oh... Mario, old boy, it's you!"
 * "You have adventures in the afterlife, as well? Capital!"
 * "Ah. Hm. Yes. Well. Really? This isn't a tropical paradise for fallen sailors? Oh, right..."
 * "Now I recall! Mario, old boy... We still have work to do!"
 * "You'd better take me with you, I should say!"
 * "I'm sure my sea legs and explosive personality will be rather useful, eh?"
 * "Flavio, old boy... I must say... You talk rather too much."
 * "So in any case, Mario... About that Crystal Star you spoke of earlier..."
 * "There was a rather odd rock in the far east of the jungle with a skull carved into it..."
 * "Call it an old sea bomb's intuition, but that skull rock smells...suspicious."
 * “Flavio, you old cash–grubber! If you want the treasure so badly, then why don't you find it yourself?”
 * "There you have it, Flavio! Fair and square, eh wot?"
 * “Great gobbledy! Your princess is no one to be trifled with!”
 * "We've made it, old boy!"
 * "Let's find that Poshley Sanctum that Professor Frankly spoke of, posthaste!"
 * "Confound it all! Now what?"
 * "What, now? You live here?"
 * "So YOU"RE the Sanctum Manager? I was told you were a detective, old boy!"
 * "Blast it all! We're too late!!! Quick! After them!"
 * “What's this balderdash, now?”
 * “Now, listen here... You're the Mayor, hmm? How could an official like you lie that way?"
 * "Old boy, I KNOW I saw a cannon the last time I was here, so do not lie, sir!”
 * “Of course I know all that, you great blowhard."
 * "But we must use that cannon to get to the moon, old boy. And if we don't, sir... the world could end!”
 * "Circumstances?"
 * "Goldbob and General White?"
 * "Very well, then... We can't give up now, old boy! Mario, let's go find those two!"
 * "Rather suspicious building, wouldn't you say, old boy? Do be careful, eh?"
 * "Mario, old boy! Since these X-Naut ruffians are about..."
 * "Yes, I'm quite sure of it! The Crystal Star must be here, as well!"
 * "Our dear Peach must be here too, wouldn't you say? Let's find her, old boy!"
 * "Where in blazes are we?"
 * "We're below Rogueport! The X-Nauts used that thing to come here from the moon!"
 * "We've finally got all seven Crystal Stars! Corking!"
 * "Now we can open the Thousand-Year Door!"
 * "Ah, yes, but... We still don't know where Princess Peach is..."
 * "Well, let's head back to Rogueport, eh, old boy?"
 * "Perhaps Professor Frankly can help us find our dear Princess Peach, hm?"
 * "Where are we now, hm?"
 * "Peach is in the Palace of Shadow?"
 * "But...what will happen to you?"
 * "...We will, TEC."
 * "Mario! we must save the princess! For that TEC fellow as well as ourselves!"
 * "Crockity! I say, old boy, did you just hear something?"
 * "Assuredly! ...But the X-Naut boss took her and made for the Thousand-Year Door..."
 * "Pardon?!? What-what? Dear fellow, you led me to believe the door would open with all SEVEN Crystal Stars."
 * “Old boy, isn't that Hooktail? The one you said you beat?”
 * "Mario! Look there! It's absolutely titanic... What in blazes is it?"
 * "Harumph! It's moving!"
 * "Hmm? What?!?"
 * "What was that?"
 * ''“My dear, repellant woman, what do you mean by THAT?”
 * "Such Balderdash! It's quite obvious you are in for a stomping, so let's have at it."
 * “Let's leave these cads, Mario…”
 * ''“So, this lout is the leader of those X–Nauts?
 * ”Do be careful, old boy! This fellow looks rather robust!“
 * ''”Mario, we mustn't serve evil! You MUST resist, old boy!!!“
 * ”Serve a witch? My dear Scarlette would be rather angry with me, I should think.“
 * ”Well, old boy, it was most agreeable that I had the chance to meet you. If it hadn't been for you, then my dear Scarlette would still gaze down on a broken Bob-omb. Let's meet again, Mario! And this time, let it be on the high seas, old boy!“
 * ”Leave it all to me, old boy! I shan't need help!"
 * ”I suggest you try a bit harder against the likes of us, hm?“

Arfur

 * "Did you check prices for me?"
 * "Perfect! OK! I'm ready."
 * "First, how much are they asking for Fire Flowers?"
 * "...I see."
 * "And for Sleepy Sheep?"
 * "OK..."
 * "And how about Tasty Tonic? How much is that?"
 * "...Wow! That's rough."
 * "Those are some low prices. I can't believe they're selling that low..."
 * "Hmm... Even if I try to compete with them, I don't think I can profit."
 * "But it is certainly helpful information. Here's your reward. Good work."

Armored Harriers

 * "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!? How does he know Mom has an outie? That jerk!"-Red Cleft
 * "We're gonna blend you up into a smoothie, pal! And then we're gonna drink ya!"-Red Cleft
 * "Oh, and one more thing... Only smelly stinkwads call other people stinkwads! Understand, stinkwad?"-Red Cleft
 * "Simmer down there, Bro. You! Stinkwad! You're gonna regret opening your yap, pal!"-Green Cleft
 * "See these bods? Solid iron. See these spikes? Yeah, they peneterate any substance."-Green Cleft
 * "So, basically, what I'm telling you is that whatever you try will be completely useless."-Green Cleft
 * "Think that over in the very short time you have left with a functional brain."-Green Cleft
 * "Bluh huh huh huh huh... Give up now!"-Red Cleft
 * "Well, stinkwads, you're about to learn about our skills the hard way."-Green Cleft
 * "Bluh huh huh huh huh... How'd you like that? We tried to tell you, but nooooooo..."-Red Cleft
 * "If you want another piece of pummel pie, have a bath and come on back! Punk!"-Green Cleft

Beldam
'''Note: The mysterious merchant who gives Princess Peach the Magical Map at the beginning of the game is heavily implied to be but never officially confirmed to be Beldam. As such, the merchant's quotes will be noted as being from "The Mysterious Merchant."'''


 * "Oh, Missy... Missy..."-The Mysterious Merchant
 * "Yes, you, Missy! Won't you buy something? I have a wide assortment of knickknacks and doodads!"-The Mysterious Merchant
 * "It is said that this box holds a map that shows where a legendary treasure sleeps..."-The Mysterious Merchant
 * "But the box has a magic lock on it that will only open for a pure and noble heart. As you can see... It won't so much as budge if one such as myself touches it..."-The Mysterious Merchant
 * "I know. If the box will open for you, Missy, then you may have whatever is inside. I am sure that whatever is in there would be of no use to someone like me."-The Mysterious Merchant
 * "So, Missy... Take this box in your hands and see what happens..."-The Mysterious Merchant
 * ”The honorable Grodus has need of us? Then we arrive without delay.“
 * "Mmmwee hee hee hee hee... Pray tell, did the princess tell you where the map is?"
 * "It wasn't my fault, truly! There were too many prying eyes there. Too many..."
 * "Besides, a strange old man showed up at the moment of truth, and we had to retreat."
 * "Why worry? All we need to do now is find this Mario and steal the map, yesss?"
 * ”Mmmmwee hee hee hee... Fear not, sire. I, Beldam, shall return with what you seek.“
 * ”Let's go, my lovelies! Marilyn! Vivian! Come! We've got a job to do!“
 * ”SILENCE, YOU DITZ! How DARE you talk back to me like some rebellious child?!? It's clear to me that the only rationale your type understands is force... So, for your punishment, I'll be taking that necklace you just found. Yes, so sorry.“
 * ”Oh, what IS it, Mr. Mustache? I have no business with you, so scram! Right NOW!“
 * ”Mmmmmmwee hee hee hee! I have no quarrel with you…but I simply can't allow you to hunt for the Crystal Stars.“
 * ”Those who seek names are often disappointed, but if you insist, we'll tell you. We are…“
 * ”Vivian! What are you babbling about?!? It's 'Shadow Sirens', you nincompoop! I don't see three beauties! I see two, but then there's you, and you're PLUG–UGLY!!!“
 * ”It's just a figure of speech! Ooh, you've got some FIERCE punishment coming your way!“
 * ”Marilyn! Vivian! We would've won if you two lumps had pulled your weight! Both of you, prepare for a world–class punishment session when we get home!“
 * ”We have prepared a weapon that will bring him to a quick and certain end!“
 * ”…Or are you trying to imply that I lost it, you little lolly–gagging worm?“
 * ”Mwee hee hee hee! I heard that, my uglies! So, the next Crystal Star is in Poshley Heights? That's a rather nice piece of information! Thanks ever so!“
 * ”Normally, this is where I would deal with you and the homely traitor, Vivian, but something tells me that trying that alone might be unwise.“
 * ”The REAL Professor Frankly is sleeping off a nasty bump on the head in a closet somewhere! Poor thing!“
 * ”You and that traitor, Vivian have a date with ETERNITY!“
 * ”Shut up, freak!“
 * ”Alright, my sort–of–lovelies! Marilyn! Freak–Sheet! This time, we take out Mario and his goon–squad for good!“
 * ”My queen! You have returned to us!“
 * ”Yes, my queen… I searched for a pure maiden that you might inhabit… And as I did, I spread the rumor of a great treasure… Then I led the fools who had gathered the Crystal Stars here to open the seal…“
 * ”I am not worthy, my queen…“
 * ”NOOOO! My queen! Let's get out of here, Marilyn!“

Chest Demon 1

 * "Whoa!"
 * "Hey! You! Can you hear me?"
 * "You can?!? That must mean you're the hero of legend!"
 * "Only the great hero of legend can hear my voice. Yeah! Everyone else...nothing."
 * "See, long ago, an evil spirit cast a curse on me, locking me in this box. I was bummed."
 * "I've been here ever since, waiting a long, LONG time for the hero to come by!"
 * "...So, yeah, anyway, big guy...What brings a hero like you to a place like this?"
 * "Oh, yeah? Searching for the Crystal Stars, are you, now? So you really are a hero."
 * "Well, you're DEFINITELY going to need my help if you hope to get those bad boys."
 * "So, first you should look for the key to this box. Then use it to let me out. Definitely."
 * "Well, I know MY vote goes to you finding that key. I'm sure it's around here somewhere."
 * "C'mon! Being stuck in a box is no picnic! I'm counting on you, O Great Legendary Hero!"
 * "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You brought the key! Yes! Oh, man, I owe you BIG!"
 * "YESSSSSSSSS! Thank...Ha! Thank NOTHING!"
 * "Whee hee! Foooooools!"
 * "Oh, BOY, did you fall for it! I BURNED you! What, you think I was gonna help you?!?"
 * "Instead, I'm gonna spread a little of the suffering I've endured in that stupid box!"
 * "Yeah! Sorry, but those are the brakes! I'm gonna cast an evil, terrible curse upon you!"
 * "Buggly-wuggly-WOOOOOOO! You're cursed!"
 * "Whee hee hee hee hee! Enjoy that curse, sucker! You got what you deserved!!!"
 * "You wanna hear all about the sweet curse I just dropped? Then listen well!"
 * "From now on, if you press in certain areas, you'll turn into a paper airplane!"
 * "Whee hee! Trembling yet? Suffer the rest of your days under my terrible curse!"
 * "Whee hee hee hee hee hee! Oh, I can't help but chortle! You're DOOMED!!!"
 * "This curse is pretty rough, I guess, so I suppose I owe it to you to explain it."
 * "Ready? If you stand on an airplane panel like this one, the floor will start to glow."
 * "Yeah, OK, you're on the panel. Now try pressing ! And then, bam! You're a paper airplane!"
 * "The worst part of this curse is that you must tilt Left and Right to control yourself."
 * "I guess if you got good at it, you might fly a long way...but that's the ONLY good thing."
 * "So, be honest. Isn't this curse just about the worst thing that's ever happened to you?"
 * "Whee hee hee hee hee hee! If you press, you MIGHT return to normal! Maybe!"
 * "Farewell, you foolish fool! Whee hee hee hee!"

Chest Demon 2

 * "What the heck?"
 * "Hey! Guests! It's been a long time since anyone came here! A REAL long time!"
 * "...Huh? You heard me? Wow!"
 * "Wait a sec'... If you can hear my voice, you must be some legendary hero or something... Or not!!"
 * "To be honest, I'm sure anyone with ears can hear me."
 * "...But it sure is fun zinging people with that whole 'legendary hero' bit!"
 * "Hey, but seriously, folks, I was wondering if you could let me out of this chest..."
 * "I've been locked in here so long, I'm starting to cramp up like you wouldn't believe."
 * "All you have to do is find the key and let me out. Easy!"
 * "Huh? What do you mean? You think you'll be cursed if you open the box? Ridiculous!"
 * "Who would do that, really? Wait in a box and curse folks! A real slimeball, that's who!"
 * "But I'm not a real slimeball, and I would do no such thing! But that should be obvious."
 * "Look, if you help me out, maybe I'll help you out. You know, a little I-scratch-your-back-you scratch mine. Except in reverse order."
 * "Of course, you don't have to if you really don't want to. Like finding a Black Key is hard..."
 * "Hey there! Boy, I am SO glad you found that key! Unbelievable!"
 * "WHEEE HEE HEE HEE HEE! FOOOOOOOLS!"
 * "Why, only the most idiotic, pudding-brained dolt would fall for a scheme like that!"
 * "The castle's traps prevent anyone who's entered this place from ever leaving it!"
 * "No matter which path you take, you're fated to waste away to a slow, painful end!"
 * "But wait! There's more to this great deal! I'll throw in a free CURSE! No charge!"
 * "Oogly-googly-BOO!"
 * "Wheee hee hee hee hee! Now you're cursed, doofus! And it serves you right!"
 * "This curse is more cursedly curse-worthy than any curse that's ever cursed you!"
 * "For...this curse makes you like a piece of paper when you press and hold !"
 * "Wheeee hee hee hee hee! What a curse! Who curses like me? NO ONE!"
 * "Now I shall show you just how frightful a curse it is! Go on! Press and hold ! Press and hold now!!!"
 * "Wheeee hee hee hee hee! Just look at yourself! How embarrassing for you!"
 * "Eat a sandwich, skinny! Hee! ...Do you understand what this curse means for you?"
 * "Then farewell, you dumbbells! Wheee hee hee hee hee!"

Chest Demon 4

 * "YORK!"
 * "Oh, sweet, sweet salvation!"
 * "I thought no one would ever come! I had given up!"
 * "...What's that?"
 * "Spare you the prologue and just curse you already?"
 * "Now... How did you know I was gonna do that?"
 * "No seriosuly, hang on a sec'! Can't you just listen to my spiel for a little bit?"
 * "I've been locked here forever, bored stiff, doing NOTHING but practice this speech!"
 * "...Huh? I'm already the fourth cursing chest you've met? Are you serious?"
 * "So...you're saying you know exactly how this is all going to turn out?"
 * "Man, talk about a raw deal! You're a twisted little guy, you know that?"
 * "OK, fine, fine, fine, FINE! I get the picture, okay?"
 * "Sheesh! All I wanted was to see the face of some unlucky soul when I popped out..."
 * "Is that so much to ask? No. Anyway, what are you waiting for? Just open it, already."
 * "You know what the key looks like, Mr. Seen-It-All-Already! Some ghost here has it..."
 * "So just beat him, get it, and we'll get this farce over with. Come on, now, I'm waiting!"
 * "Yeah, yeah. Whoop-de-doo. You got the key. Party time. Now let me out, already."
 * "All right. Here we go... Since you're just itching to get this over with..."
 * "A-HEM!"
 * "WHEE HEE! FOOOOOLS!"
 * "You dopes fell right into my absolutely brilliant trap! And now you will SUFFER!"
 * "Oh, yeah! I am so EVIL! Bathe in the foul, awful... ...Wait, what was next?"
 * "Oh, yeah! You fools will be cursed forever for your appalling stupidity!"
 * "You will rue the day you opened this chest of DOOM! Now, you wretched guy!"
 * "B-E C-U-R-S-E-D!!"
 * "Whee hee hee hee hee! Now you're cursed, but good! SUFFER! SUFFER! SUFFER!"
 * "Wait. That's maybe too much. Are you all right? That didn't really hurt, did it?"
 * "Whee hee hee hee hee! Good! Squirm and suffer like socially akward worms!"
 * "From now on, in certain places, if you press, you'll turn into a paper boat!"
 * "Isn't that just GRUESOME?!?"
 * "Just try it out so I can see the depth of your humiliation! Feel the terror of your fate!"
 * "When you stand on one of these Boat Panels, the panel will feel your curse and glow!"
 * "Yes, stand here, slime! Feel the pain! And press ! Become a paper boat!"
 * "Whee hee hee hee hee! Oh, yes, such suffering!"
 * "Do you feel the horror? Now you're a piddly little boat! Whee hee hee hee!"
 * "You float on the water! People will laugh at you! You will be spit upon!"
 * "...But it only works in certain places, so don't worry, it's not too bad."
 * "When you want to return to normal, approach the panel and press !"
 * "Now try it, worm!"
 * "Yes! Your pain is like a tasty banquet to me! Now, do you understand your doom?"
 * "Then off with you, you jaded, cursed boat guy!"
 * "Oh, and hey, listen... Thanks for letting me do my thing. I feel better."

Blooper

 * "Bloop! BLOOOOOOOOOOOOP! (Ouch! That HURT!)"
 * "Bloobloobloobloop! (Who just up and whacks someone's tootsies like that?)"
 * "Bloobloop! BLOOOP! (Someone with some serious moxie, that's who!)"
 * "Bloobloop! Bloobloobloop! (Would you look at that! It's some saucy mustached guy!)"
 * "Bloopity bloop! Blooooo! (He's in a WORLD of hurt!)"
 * "BlooblooblooblooblooBLOOP! (I'll give him a taste of the old tentacle trample!)"
 * "BLUH-BLOOOOOOOP!"

Bootler

 * ”Lady Bow, your beauty is like the song of a nightingale in the evening.“
 * ”Indeed… I feel you've grown into a fine young girl who'd make your ancestors proud!“

Bowser

 * ”Gra ha ha har! Bowser, the mighty Koopa king, has arrived! Hold your applause, minions! But now that I'm here… Kammy! You crusty old hag! Why did you summon me?“
 * ”Oh, go ON, Mr. Comedian! I'm just DYING to hear the rest of your HILARIOUS story!“
 * "I bet you are, Kammy Koopa! Now, out with it! Why have you called me here!"
 * ”Pbbbthbtth! Am I Mario's baby–sitter? I don't care what he's doing! Are you going to call me every time that guy blows his nose, or what? Sheesh!“
 * "Tuh-Treasure?!?"
 * ”The Crystal Stars, you say? They sound like good world–conquering tools! I want 'em!“
 * "Hmm... Yes... Very good... Continue researching this for me, you brainy hag, you."
 * "Do I... I LOVE Fried Eggs! LOVE'em! But...what a weird question. Why do you ask?"
 * ”AIRHEAD!!! A picnic?!? You MORON! This is no time for fun! See, THIS is why my evil plans always derail! Because you clods always goof off! AAARGH!“
 * ”HUHHH-WWWHHHAAATTT?!? Tell me you're lying, Kammy! How? When? WHERE? Who'd do such a thing? Besides me?"
 * "Under NO circumstances is ANYONE allowed to kidnap her without MY say–so!!! I will NOT stand for this! I'm going to Rogueport, NOW! I've gotta kidnap her back!“
 * ”I, Bowser, the mighty Koopa King, offer my greeting!“
 * ''”Great, just great. Now I look like the huge, mighty King of GUYS WHO TALK TO POSTERS!“
 * ”You're both too old.“
 * ”It's hag vs. hag! Awesome!“
 * ”Uh, actually, it's YOU who's gonna spill every bit of info out of your big, ugly head!“
 * ”I don't know anybody named Gonzales! Stop speaking in riddles, you chicken nugget!“
 * "CRUD!!! Who do I have to flatten to get a Crystal Star?!? Who?!? WHOOOO?!?”
 * "Well, we're here! Now where's this stupid Poshley Sanctum? A Crystal Star's there, right?"
 * "Great! About time something worked out for old Bowser! In we go!"
 * “Wh–What? That's…disgusting! Get away from me, psycho! You can't have my horns!”
 * “…Whoa. I don't have a CLUE what you're talking about! You people scare me. Seriously.”
 * “Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I am Bowser, businessman of legend! Fear my accounting!”
 * "DARN IT!"
 * "Whoa, baby! Awesome! It opened! Talk about lucky! I guess rage really pays!"
 * "Yes! This is it, Haggy!!! This is finally it!"
 * "Gwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! At last, I've gotten my mitts on a Crystal Star! YESSS!!!"
 * “What are you implying? I'm no little thief, I'm..."
 * "Bowser, the Remorseless King of Evil! So I'll take what I want! And I want THIS!”
 * "Bowser, the Shadow Thief! Not A thief, the BEST thief! I'll be taking this, thanks!"
 * "The great Koopa Koot! I'm taking this! Mess with me, and I'll bore you to death!"
 * "Whuh-WHAAAAAAAAT?!? A FAKE?!?"
 * “You have got to be kidding me. You mean to tell me that LUIGI beat me here?”
 * “ARRGH! Those Mario Bros. are the most annoying brothers of all time!”
 * "Huh-WHAAAAAAAAT?!? The Thousand-Year Door...? What in the heck is that?"
 * "YAARGHH!!! Then I'm going there, too! IMMEDIATELY! And I'm gonna RUIN Mario!"
 * “What's the matter? All tired from battle, Mario? Yes! Easy pickings!”
 * “Gra har har har! What's a finale without a Bowser appearance? A cruddy finale, that's what!”
 * “Today's the day I flush a plumber down the drain!”

Chef Shimi

 * “HELLO! I am Chef Shimi, the culinary expert! Glad to make your complaintance!”
 * “So sorry! Cheep Cheep is my first language, you know.”
 * “Today's lunch is so amazing it will make your tongue cry out in shame!”
 * “Please do taste it, so that my passion does not wither alone in a pot of loneliness!”
 * “No! My heart cries out in the salty pain of misery! That was my masterbeast!”
 * “And now it is gone, and I am left with tears of horror in my eyes!”
 * “A mystery, you just said? ...And, uh, um, er, exactly... what kind of dish is that?”

Cortez

 * "Enough! I grow tired of this spooky 'OoOoO' business! I am a pirate, blast it! Pirates do not MOAN! I am a cold-blooded villian who robs innocents of life and loot, not a crying ghost!"
 * "And...you...are...after... My TREASURE!"
 * "And this! This is my ship! What are you doing here? Speak!"
 * “I'll turn your mustache into a bone polisher, amigo! Yohohohohohohohohohoho!”
 * "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! I can't take much more of this..."
 * "This calls for something special..."
 * "Now you will see the true might of my spirit form!"
 * "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY TREASURE!"
 * "I am done for..."
 * "Yohohohohohohohohoho! You are foolish, amigo! For I am not dead!"
 * "Well, technically, I was already dead...but my spirit endures, tied to my treasure!"
 * "So you cannot do anything to me! I do not live, amigo!"
 * "Still, guarding this treasure for hundreds of years is almost as boring as death!"
 * "What? You are not even interested in my treasure?"
 * "Then whay are you here?"
 * "Huh?!? You want this, amigo?"
 * "This little rock over here? Are you serious?"
 * "Well, that's no big deal... Here, take it."
 * "What do I need one or two extra gems for? I did not really like that one, anyway."
 * "Well, that should do it! If you don't need anything else, away with you, amigo!"
 * “…Oh, what? It is you again? Did you forget something?”
 * "WHAAAT? What would possess me to lend you my ship?"
 * "...And who are you, anyway?"
 * “What are you talking about, muchacho? I do not rent this ship for pleasure cruises!”
 * "And even if I would lend it to you...this ship is magical, and it cannot move now..."
 * "The key to powering this ship is the mystical Skull Gem..."
 * "YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU! You have the Skull Gem!"
 * "...Old friend? Your ancestors stole that gem from me, you strutting peacock!"
 * "You must be very brave or very, VERY foolish to ask such a thing of me!"
 * “I should turn you into a pinata and throw a party on the beach!”
 * “RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGH! You rattle my bones, Senor Peacock!”
 * ".........Very well. I accept your bargain, amigo! Now, be very careful with that gem!"
 * "Ahhhh! Now my precious Black Skull will sail the seas again!"
 * "I was getting quite annoyed by the sound of cannons outside, anyway!"
 * "Now I can really strectch my bones and wreak on the seas like in the old days!"
 * "It's been a millennium since I gazed out upon the sea! Come! To the open waters!"
 * “You fire cannons here…without my permission? You have nerve, mortal!”
 * “Hear my voice, spirits! Take their ship and show them the meaning of fear!”
 * "You... You have distinguished yourself in battle, amigo!"
 * "You are worthy in my eyes! You may use this ship, the Black Skull, anytime you like"
 * "Ready, amigos? Cast off!"
 * "That reminds me, amigo... If you ever get the urge to return to Keelhaul Key, just say the word, okay?"
 * "I will send you to the island faster than the fastest winds blow, comprende?"

Dark Bones

 * "Let those who would disturb her sleep fall into the depths of endless darkness..."

Don Pianta

 * "What's wid you, wise guy? I ain't too jolly today ... If you got a beef, spit it out quick or dis is gonna hurt."
 * "Ex-CUSE me? You want a ... You want me to give you a ticket for da blimp? See, now, to me, dat's funny ... You a stand-up comedian? No? You oughta be. You got some nerve askin' me for dat. I'm Don Pianta! I make cryin' babies weep!"
 * "Not so fast, boys. I like dis kid's gumption. He just came to talk, no? Dat ain't a crime. So we talk. You boys can wait 'til we're done before you rough him up, you got it? So, I gotta assume you gotta reason for wantin' a ticket for da blimp. Out wid it!"
 * "Oh look. Da proverbial mustache."
 * “Hey! It's you again! Y'know, the sky goin' dark was nothin' at all.”
 * “It was great for us! You shouda seen the way people were blowin' their dough!”

Doopliss

 * “Hey! Hold on a minute there, Slick! What are you doing, interrupting my 'ME' time?”
 * "Who're you calling a monster? What's your problem? Why do you need to pick a fight? I'm busy thinking up new pranks and stuff! It's not easy, either! Now get lost!"
 * “...Of course, you guys WON'T. No way you ninnies go away quietly, am I right?”
 * “Well, all right then, Slick. Fine. Yes. I turned the villagers into pigs. Big deal.”
 * “Well… You know, they're always so depressing and boring an dim–witted all the time... So instead of wallowing in gloom, I figured they might as well wallow in mud! HA! How brilliant is THAT? Now they're pigs, get it? Isn't that just sooo perfect? It's like irony, or something.”
 * “So...what? You got a problem with that? I guess you do. So let's play, Slick!”
 * “Yuk yuk yuk! I guess I'll get down and dirty if you're gonna play like that, Slick!”
 * “Well, my dear friends, if you thought changing villagers into pigs was impressive, then wait until you see THIS!”
 * “Yuk yuk yuk yuk! How about them apples? Now that's MAGIC, people! Now you're fighting yourself! Ha! I'm a dang genius!”
 * “Yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk! Hold on... Wha... What... Huh? You beat me?”
 * “So, your name's Mario, is it? What a great name! And MAN can I jump, now! And you, you're so popular around here! But me, I get mobbed! I just LOVE being you! It's so good, I don't EVER wanna stop!”
 * “You got it now, Slick? Your body and name belong to me now!”
 * "Wrongamundo, little nobody! Who'd name their kid that? Prepare for doom, Slick!"
 * “Please, amuse me with one more guess! I just love to see people squirm in futility as they try to guess my name! Hit me one more time!”
 * “W–What did you say!?”
 * “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW?”
 * "Alright, kids, put on your fighting gloves! I mean... Whoo hoo! It's-a me, Mario!"
 * "Very good, my loyal ones. How dare this nameless nobody challenge the great Super Mario?!?"
 * “What's the matter? Fight with your girlfriend? Well, don't expect any sympathy from us, ghoulies!”
 * “See? Your friends ditch you, because you don't have the charisma of me, Super Mario!”
 * "How dare you try and do this to the great Super Mario! HOW DARE YOU!"
 * “I can't take this! Super Mario's hurting…”
 * “No… HOW?”
 * “Rats… YOU KILLJOYS!”
 * “It's me, suckers! Doopliss!”
 * “Beldam will FLIP if I let that happen!”
 * ''“Uhh, yeah. My name's Doopliss, but…”
 * “Yeah, that's right, Slick! An ETERNITY!”
 * “Oh, right… Sorry.”
 * “I SAID MY NAME IS DOOPLISS!”
 * "OK! OK! OK! OK!"
 * “Hey! Wait for me!”

Dupree

 * "Ah, bonjour, mademoiselle. Eet eez a beautiful day, no?"
 * "No, no, no, no, no. Not you, Monsieur Mustache. I am speaking to zee lovely leetle cabbage behind you."
 * "What do you say, my pretty? Abandon zis dullard and come away with moi!"
 * "Oh! Oh! Oh! Sacre bleu! Such brutal 'onesty! Such a sharp tongue!"
 * "Well, I retreat for now. If you change your mind, cheri, come find me!"

Flavio

 * "Emotion you say, ah? I suppose each life must experience some emotion..."
 * "Yes, the gradual process that forever alters the landscape of life, like rain on dirt..."
 * "AH! NOOO! FOOLISH FLAVIO! Not EROSION, you silly man! What I need is EMOTION!!!"
 * "Ah, yes! Of course! Mario! Perhaps you could handle the exploration of this island?"
 * "Ah...Well, we cannot just sit here and sun ourselves all day like mermaids, ah?"
 * "Someone must get out there and look around!"
 * ''"This is not a thing to be argued! So! We'll decide this fair and square, hmm?
 * “I growl at you like an angry jungle beast! I ought to.”
 * “No. Not fair. Flavio hate you all.”
 * "What? You want me to give you the Chuckola Cola? Ha! I must scroff at you!"
 * "You ask for too much, little man!...Except...WAIT! I already gave that to you!"
 * ''"What? You want me to lend you coins, you poor pauper?
 * "I must scroff at you!"
 * "What on earth do you need coins on a deserted island ,anyway?"
 * "Think before you speak, you foolish thing! THINK!"
 * “Mario! Take me… to Cortez!”
 * “We'll be cannon–fodder if we wag our tongues any longer!”
 * “We need to borrow your ship for the teensiest little while…”
 * "Hello there, you Mario! You are doing well, I must assume, yes?"
 * "Who, me, you are asking? Well, I am now the SECOND-richest man in Rogueport."
 * "Yes, having my beautiful S.S. Flavion smashed to bits was not a financial boon, hm?"

Garf

 * "You took on my trouble? You? OK. Then please find my key, and be quick about it!"
 * "If someone else finds my key, they'll be able to get in my house, so I'll stand guard."
 * "I think I dropped my key when I went to the badge shop, but I'm not sure..."
 * "Did you find my key?"
 * "Yes! My key!!!"
 * "I can finally get inside my house again! Home, sweet home! Thank you!"
 * "Please take this as payment for your efforts, all right?"

General White

 * "Prepare for detonation sequence!"
 * "Close chamber hatch!"
 * "Conditions all green! Standby... OK!"

Ghost T.

 * "!...So you've found me."
 * "Well, as you see, I'm a ghost."
 * "I'm cursed to haunt this place."
 * "A blanket?"
 * "Well, yes, the conductor did leave one here. He didn't realize that I'm a ghost."
 * "A yummy, sticky threat?"
 * "No I left no such thing. I can't even hold phyiscal objects like pen and paper."
 * "What? You just want the blanket, then?"
 * "Well, I'll tell you where it is if you do something for me. What do you say?"
 * "All I need is......YOOOOOUR LIIIIFE!!!"
 * "...No, just kidding..."
 * "Actually... I passed away in this cabin many years ago..."
 * "But I think my luggage is still in the baggage car here..."
 * "Inside my bag is a diary I kept since my earliest childhood days..."
 * "And my fear that someone would find and read it has kept me tied to this world!"
 * "I can't leave this room, so can you please find it and bring it here?"
 * "If you do that, I'll show you where the blanket is."
 * "YOOOOOOUUUU LOOOOOOKED!"
 * "EEEEEEVEN THOUGH I TOLD YOOOOOUUU NOT TOOOOOOO! NOW SEEEE WHAT HAPPENS!"

Gloomtail

 * “Who's there?!?”
 * “No one's disturbed me here in aeons!”
 * “Who dares defile this sacred place?!?”
 * “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!? You destroyed my precious younger sister?!? I wondered why she hadn't written recently…”
 * “Quake in fear, mortals! For I am Gloomtail!”
 * “I will avenge my sister by taking your lives…and then gnawing on your bones!”
 * “GWAAAAH HA HA HA HA! My first fresh meat in ages… Allow me to take my time… And toy with you for awhile!”
 * “GWAAAAH HA HA HA HA! You are tough meat, my little tasty morsels! But how will you fare against THIS!!!”
 * “Gwuhhh… You are not the easy prey you appear to be… I would never be able to show my face again if I was bested by you whelps… So I will show you the true extent of my power!”
 * “MEGABREATH!!!”
 * “No… No… Is it true? Can I…expire?”

Gold Fuzzy

 * "Meeeeeeeeeeeork!"
 * "Hey, you suspicious types!"
 * "This is our place. And coming in here is rude, rude, RUDE!"
 * "Sorry, suckers! If you want a warm welcome, too bad!"
 * "Now I lunch on your head!"
 * "Meee-OOOF! Hey! Ow! You chumps are tougher than you look..."
 * "But I'm not through yet! Everyone! GET 'EM!!!"
 * "Meeeeeeee-uuuuurgh! You got me!"

Goomba

 * ''"Hey! Hey, man! What's up? Who's the hottie you got there with you?
 * "Ouch! That was cold!"
 * "Oweeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Goombella

 * "You aren't going anywhere, Mr. Stinker!"
 * “Hey! What do you want?!? Get away from me, freak!!!”
 * “Never! I don't have anything to say to you creeps! Eww!”
 * “N–No! Stop right there, you weirdos! I'll scream! Really!”
 * "Like I'd go anywhere with smelly lunatics like you! Hmph! Not likely!"
 * "Battle time, Mister Man! Just find a way to beat this freak of the week, OK? Don't sweat the details. Just jump on him and hit him with your hammer!"
 * "Sweet! You KNOW that hurt! Wow, I gotta say, you're tougher than you look. Keep it up and you'll beat him in no time!"
 * "You've got him on the ropes! C'mon! Keep whaling on him!"
 * "You did it! You did it! YESSS! And you got Star Points!!!"
 * "Yeah, I bet you know, but you get these things called Star Points win you win battles. When you get 100 points, you'll go up a level. Don't forget that, OK?"
 * "Quick! This way!"
 * "Phew! What a bunch of loons! Let's just sneak out of here, what do you say?"
 * "Wow, Mister! You...totally saved me! Thanks! I have just GOT to give you a little reward!"
 * "My name's Goombella. I'm a student at the University of Goom. Nice to meet ya!"
 * "So, uh... Who are you?"
 * "...Mario? Wait, you mean, like, that famous guy? Wow! I can't believe I met you here!"
 * "Cool... Anyway, no offense, but it looks like you just rolled into town yourself. Right?"
 * "Me, I already HATE it here! There are freaks and weirdos EVERYWHERE! It's nasty! I mean, I know the place is called Rogueport, so I should have expected it, but sheesh!"
 * "I'd never come to a place like this if there weren't some legendary treasure here."
 * "What? You're looking for the legendary treasure, too? Seriously?"
 * “Whoa whoa WHOA, bucko! Whatcha got there?”
 * “Omigosh! Is… Isn't that a treasure map?! You HAVE to tell me where you got that!”
 * "...Princess Peach? What?"
 * "Um... Princess Peach? Did he mean, like, Peach, the Mushroom Kingdom princess?!? The princess who always gets nabbed by Bowser, the Koopa king? The one you rescue?"
 * "Wait a sec'! This is crazy! Princess...PEACH sent you that treasure map?"
 * "Whoa. This really intense. Well, where could she have gone, then, do you think? You think maybe she got sick of waiting and went to find the treasure on her own?"
 * "Oooh! Oooh! I know, Mario! Come with me! One of my professors is here researching that treasure. We'll him show him your map!"
 * "If we start looking for the treasure, then maybe we'll catch up to Princess Peach!"
 * "Great! We're all good, then! Let's go, Mario!"
 * "This is Rogueport Plaza. It's the center of town, and the main business district. It's a crossroads where many people meet, including more than a few shady characters."
 * "Anytime you press when there's no one around, I'll tell you about where we are!"
 * "That's Goomther the Goomba. He's always complaining about being swindled or mugged..."
 * "If you press when there's somebody nearby, I'll tell you about him or her!"
 * "So? Did you get all that?"
 * "First off, we gotta go find my professor. Thing is, since I just got to town myself...I, um, don't actually know where he lives."
 * "Hey, by the way, Mario... Have you saved yet?"
 * "You see that Save Block in front of that inn? Since we're here, you oughta save now. Just jump up and hit the block to save, OK?"
 * “Hey! What's your beef, pal? YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU!”
 * “Mario! You gotta wake up! That guy just stole half of your coins!”
 * “That is SO lame! Ugh! I HATE this town!”
 * "Oh, hi! There you are! Professor Frankly!"
 * ''"Wow, yes, sir! That's me! I'm Goombella a junior at U Goom! Goooo GOOMBAS!
 * "Mario! Professor, he's Mario! You know...the famous one!"
 * "We were hoping you'd tell us about the legendary treasure said to be below Rogueport! I thought that if anyone knew anything about it, you would, Professor Frankly..."
 * "Archaeologists and historians have to search for truth in those fairy tales, though!"
 * "Me, I believe the legendary treasure truly does exist! And I REALLY want to find it!"
 * "'To find the treasure of yore, take the seven Crystal Stars to the Thousand-Year Door!' ...You mean the Crystal Stars in that old saying that super-elderly people pass down?"
 * "'Hold the Magical Map aloft before the entrance to the Thousand-Year Door. Then the stars will light the way that leads to the stones of yesterday.' Yeah..."
 * "A lot of the lore I've read says that is this Magical Map is taken to the doorway...then it'll show you where to find the Crystal Stars!"
 * "But we DO have it, Professor! Or... Well, not 'we,' exactly... MARIO has the Magical Map!"
 * "Right on, Professor!"
 * “Oh, it is, like, SO sweet that you boys think I'm cute! Seriously! Yeah, guys like you make me feel like TOTALLY BARFING! Now get out of our way!”
 * "Ha! Later on, losers! That felt AWESOME!"
 * "Who knew the area under Rogueport extended so far? This place is a total maze! You really feel the grandness of that ancient civilization when you're down here..."
 * "Well, what do you think we oughta do, Mario?"
 * "So, uh... Wow. Just wow. What was THAT guy's beef?"
 * "Hey, what's the deal with this weird pedestal, huh? What could it be, you think?"
 * "Professor! What's going on!"
 * "Professor! The map!!! And what was with all those crazy lights?"
 * "You understand it, Professor?"
 * "A special move?"
 * "Petal Meadows?"
 * "OK, fine. So we'll go there. Does anybody know how to get there or what?"
 * "Y'know, Professor, there was another suspicious group asking about the same thing."
 * "Aren't you coming, Professor?"
 * "You got it, Professor!"
 * "Well, Mario, we're off!"
 * "Hey, Mario! You remember what Professor Frankly told us, right? You can press to change our attack order! If your HP drops, you can press  to put me in front!"
 * "Well, here we are! The Petal Meadows, where folks say a Crystal Star hides."
 * "Woo hoo! Here we go, Mario! The start of our adventure! This is completely awesome!"
 * "Whoa! What was that?"
 * "Ooh! Is that a... Wow! Mario! Look!!!"
 * "Totally incredible!... I've never seen anything that humongous before. It looked kinda scary, too. Weird... Professor Frankly said this place was peaceful."
 * "Wow! Crazy! We just started and, and already there's intrigue! C'mon, Mario! Let's go!"
 * “Oh! One more thing, Mario! If you ever find yourself like, wondering what to do... Just press and use my Tattle ability, okay? I might be able to look up some useful info that'll help us on our adventure!”
 * "Dragon? Hooktail? That must've been that huge thing we saw earlier, Mario! So it's called Hooktail, huh? Oooooh, scary name! Pffffft!"
 * "So anyway, Green Boots, have you ever heard of these things called Crystal Stars? We're on this quest for them. It's very important!"
 * "A pink house? Sounds totally hideous...but it should be easy to find. Thanks for your help."
 * "Ew! Are you kidding me? EW! Nice wig, you disco wannabe! Take a hike, Bozo the Dork!"
 * "What a total sleaze! Let's go somewhere else, Mario!"
 * "That's Koops, from Petalburg. He's got confidence issues... He's a...cringer, y'know? But he's definitely got a serious interest in Hooktail... I wonder why?"
 * "OOOOOO-K... That was weird... What do you think THAT was all about? Talk about issues!"
 * "What's with these numbskulls? Ow! OWWW! Watch it, Pushy! They're shoving me around, Mario! What should we do?"
 * “Are you like, the biggest floozy ever, or what?”
 * “I'm gonna Headbonk that burglar rat if she doesn't watch it!”
 * “Using a Crystal Star to look good? You're so totally vain! You're gonna pay for that!”
 * “Yeah, as if we aren't going to spank you for like, the tenth time!”
 * “Opening the door for you? What do you mean by THAT, you total hag?”
 * “Let's leave these doofuses, Mario…”
 * “So, this chump is the leader of those X–Nauts?”
 * “We aren't gonna let that happen!”
 * “Never, ever give up! That's the most important thing I've learned from you, Mario.”
 * "Dear Mario, What's up? Goombella here! I'm still here working with Professor Frankly."
 * “We beat the Shadow Queen, but there's tons of Rogueport lore we still don't get... So, my research with the professor goes on and on."
 * "With the info I gathered from you, we have lots of great leads now, though!"
 * "Mario... Like I always said, every myth contains a kernel of truth."
 * "Speaking of which, know what was in the chest the professor recovered?"
 * "You're totally not gonna believe me when I tell you. It's..."
 * "A secret! Ha ha ha ha ha! But I'll tell you next time I see you."
 * "As part of my research, I did go back to many of the places we visited..."
 * "And I saw everyone we traveled with, too!"
 * "Koops is living peacefully in Petalburg with his dad and Koopie Koo."
 * “And, Mario... Guess what Koops wants to do, now!"
 * "He wants to become mayor of Petalburg and live there in peace! Can you imagine?"
 * "Still, it might just be perfect for him, come to think of it."
 * "He's so much more of an adult now than when you left Rogueport!"
 * "...Still, I think Koopie Koo pretty much has him wrapped around her little finger!”
 * “Flurrie's back on stage in a big way, and the crowds are totally ecstatic.”
 * "And the play she's doing right now is the story of our adventure! Yeah!"
 * "It's called 'Paper Mario'! I saw it twice! It was totally the best play ever!"
 * "And somehow, Doopliss has joined the troupe as an actor! Who saw that coming?"
 * "His transformation skills are serving him well, but it still kind of creeps me out..."
 * "Oh, and little Yoshi? Yeah, he's fighting solo in the Glitz Pit!"
 * "He says he's getting pretty close to a title match, even! Isn't that just ADORABLE!"
 * "Oh, yeah, he's calling himself 'The Great Gonzales Jr.' in the ring, by the way."
 * "It's sorta silly, but kinda cute, too, don'tcha think?"
 * “Oh, and... Wait, I have to get this exactly right or he'll get like, SO mad at me…”
 * "He, uh, said he could 'totally take you in the ring now, so bring it!'"
 * "I guess he doesn't change... Isn't that too cute!"
 * “Vivian's gone back to hang out with her sisters. Family is important, after all..."
 * "Now that the Shadow Queen has been defeated, I don't think Beldam's into evil."
 * "Oh, and Beldam also promised me she would never be mean to Vivian ever again."
 * "Yup, I think the three sirens are going to live pretty peacefully from now on..."
 * "But you should totally go visit her sometime.”
 * “Bobbery goes out to sea every day now with Cortez... I think his soul has healed."
 * "I ran into him on Keelhaul Key by accident the other day, which was nice."
 * "He was so happy, I thought he was going to blow up on me for a second there.”
 * "You know... I bet Scarlette is looking down on him and smiling right now."
 * "Oh, and I almost forgot... Everyone on Keelhaul Key is well, and they say hello."
 * "Ms. Mowz is still running the badge shop in Rogueport, so she's happy."
 * "She comes over to Frankly's sometimes to visit..."
 * "But, as usual, as soon as she sets foot outside the shop, she turns into a badge-ninja."
 * "She said just the other day that she found some super-rare badge, actually."
 * "That's our globe-trotting, mystery-making, flirting, little badge thief, huh?"
 * “Oh, yeah... In my travels, I heard a rumor that Lord Crump and Grodus were both still alive."
 * "I guess that makes them pretty tenacious baddies, doesn't it, Mario?"
 * "But they've mellowed a lot, just like Beldam has, and I don't expect more trouble."
 * "Plus, I hear that Grodus is just a head, which really cuts down on mischief-making.”
 * “Speaking of miracle survivals... Guess whose favorite calculator is still computing?"
 * "He says he really wants to see you and Peach again!”
 * "Well, I'm totally rambling at this point, so I guess I'd better wrap it up..."
 * "I just wanna say, even though things got tough, I'm grateful for our time together."
 * “And... There is one thing that kind of weighed on me and I never got to express to you."
 * "See, I… Well… Maybe that's best kept a secret.”
 * "So, please say hi to Peach for me, OK?"
 * "'Til we meet again! Your friend, Goombella."
 * “That's Lady Bow. Wait a second! Mario! Exactly WHAT is your relationship with her?!? Tell me NOW! Hee hee hee hee hee hee! Just kidding! I always wanted to say that. But you DID go on an adventure with her, right? Tell me sometime, OK?”

Enemy Tattles

 * “That's a Goomba. Umm... Yeah, I'm one of those, in case you hadn't noticed. Ahem... It says here: 'Goombas are underlings of underlings.'  ...That is totally rude! Their maximum HP is 2. They have an Attack power of 1 and a Defense of 0.”
 * "That's a Paragoomba. Basically a Goomba with wings. I'm jealous! Maximum HP is 2, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. You can't hammer it while it's flying, but rough it up and it'll totally plummet!"
 * "That's a Spiky Goomba. ...A spiky-headed Goomba. What a creative name. That spike is super pointy, so it's better to hit it with a hammer than jump on it. Maximum HP is 2, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. The addition of the spike means you'll hurt your feet if you jump on it. Duh!"
 * "That's a Koopa Troopa. They've been around forever! Gotta respect the longevity! Their shells are hard, but flip them over and their Defense drops to zero. And you know how to flip them over, right? Just jump on their heads!"
 * "That's a Koopa Paratroopa. Well, umm... It's basically a Koopa Troopa with wings. Max HP is 4, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. I kinda hate that this guy gets to fly. Of course, you can stomp on him and he'll plunge down and be a plain Koopa Troopa. Yeah, do that, and he's ours! Stomp again to flip him, and his arms and legs are useless! Oops! Sorry, that's not true. It looks like he cans still wiggle them around a bit..."
 * "That's a Dull Bones. Sort of a skeleton thing. It was a Koopa Troopa...once. Max HP is 1, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. These creeps throw bones to attack. Oh, and they build reinforcements, too! Attacks that can strike multiple Dull Bones at once are the most effective."
 * "That's a Red Bones! A little TOO red, I think. No fashion sense, y'know? Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. Unlike your average Dull Bones, even if you pound it to 0 HP and it crumbles... It totally might revive! Like a zombie! My advice is to get rid of all the Dull Bones, then attack the Red Bones. Oh, and one more thing! Once its friends start to fall, it may create some more!"
 * "That's a Spinia. A totally weird creature made of thin, papery boards. It certainly looks unique. Nobody knows much about these creatures, actually. Max HP is 3, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. Its attacks are super-swift, but it should be pretty easy. Just give it a 'Hee-YAAA!'"
 * "That's a Fuzzy. What a hyper little guy, huh? Cut back on the caffeine! Max HP is 3, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. Those things suck up your HP and use it to replenish their own! Isn't that the worst? I mean, EW! Doesn't that just sound totally gross? Anyway, guard against them by pressing the MOMENT they release you. The timing is pretty hard to master, so, uh, practice up! These things really suck...HP."
 * ''"That's a Gold Fuzzy. Whoa, those are super rare! I'm serious! Wow! Max HP is 10, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. Oh, but hey! Even though it's a Fuzzy, it won't suck up your HP, which is nice. I have to wonder though... How does this thing hide? Look at it! It's so gaudy!
 * "That's a Bald Cleft. Basically, a rock monster with a swarthy-looking face. Uh... This is kind of mean, but bald guys...really just don't do it for me. Max HP is 2, Attack is 1, and Defense is 2. Yeah. This guy is rock solid. Fire doesn't even hurt it. It might be best to attack with, say...a POW Block."
 * "That's a Bristle. ...Totally covered in spikes. They're so prickly! Max HP is 2, Attack is 1, and Defense is 4. AND they're impervious to fire. Even trying to get close enough to whack it with a hammer is dangerous! Seriously, its spikes will totally pop out! So, since you can't jump on it or use your hammer...you'd better use an item!"
 * "That's a Blooper...and a really super-humongous one, too! EWWWW! It's all slimy!!! I just can't STAND slimy, nasty, icky things. G-R-O-S-S, gross! Max HP is 12, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. It attacks with tentacles and ink. Once you damage both its tentacles, it'll fall down... And then it's attack time! By the way, the tentacles each have 3 HP. Now relax and house on that slimy, nasty Blooper!"
 * "That's Hooktail! Max HP is 20, Attack is 5, and Defense is 1. It'll stomp and munch on you, and it has a more dragonish attack: stinky, fiery breath! It's tricky, especially when it's losing, and it'll try to fool you into being merciful. Oh, yeah, and one more thing. It hates things that start with 'cr' and end with 'icket'. Supposedly, there's something related to that somewhere in this castle. Did we find it?"

Goomfrey

 * "The package... Yep, that's it."
 * "I'll dispose of this in a way no one will ever find it. Tell McGoomba I said so."
 * "And do me a favor: forget all this. You hear me? It never happened. For your sake."
 * "We never spoke! Forget everything!"
 * "And when you give McGoomba my message, he'll give you your compensation."
 * "Remember: this deal won't be done until you give my message to McGoomba."
 * "Remember: this deal won't be done until you give my message to McGoomba."

Goom Goom

 * "Hey, thanks for taking on my trouble. All the way out here, too. I know it's far."
 * "I came out here to enjoy island life, but now that I'm here, I just feel lonely..."
 * "There is no one to date, I mean, NO ONE. I'm chatting up sea turtles, here."
 * "So all I need you to do is introduce me to a nice girl. That's it. A girl. OK?"
 * "I guess my type would be...Petite, younger than me, and pretty, not drop-dead hot."
 * "Yeah, a cute little goomba gal would be just perfect...Please help me. Please."

Grubba / Macho Grubba

 * “Who 'n tarnation 're you, son? Who let you in?!? This is Grubba's office!”
 * “Yup! That's me, Grubba!”
 * “What's that, now? An athlete, huh? Ya wanna become a fighter?”
 * “Hooo–weee! I guess that do change a thang or two, son!”
 * “When I was just a poor pup, I didn't give a Pokey's patoot for fancy, big–city ways!”
 * “Bein' rich an' famous is diggety–dang DYNAMITE!”
 * “One day, you'll look back on all them small–dreamers 'n LAUGH!”
 * “Wait a diddly–darn minute there!”
 * “Boy howdy, Gonzales! Fixin' for a fight, huh? Well, alrighty then!”
 * “Well, dog my cats! It's the Great Gonzales!”
 * "Get yerselves ready to... BAAAATTLE!"
 * “First to enter the ring... The Feral Nuclear Reactor! RAAAAAWWWK HAAAAAWWWK!”
 * And now for our challenger... The Merciless Executioner... The GRRREAT GOOONZALES!!!”
 * “I'll tell you what I saw, folks… A whuppin'!”
 * “Maybe I'm ol'-fashioned, but I care about my fighters, darn it!”
 * “Long's I got that baby workin' fer me, this ol' bod ain't EVER gonna get weak!!”
 * “I'd better keep this room locked tighter than a peanut–butter jar at a squirrel convention!”
 * “GREAT–GALLOPIN' GULPITS! How in tarnation did YOU get in here, son?”
 * “Well, slap me and call me Sassafras! Yer even starin' at my secret paper!”
 * “Whoa, nelly! This ain't good…”
 * “I gotta say, ya'll are a coupla slack–jawed idiots, sniffin' 'round my business…”
 * “Now you know my big secret, I'm afraid yer gonna have to take a li'l old dirt nap.”
 * “Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! How you like my machine? Pretty dang nice, huh?”
 * “Yep, I've been suckin' power from the fighers with this baby! SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!”
 * “Yer darn tootin'! An' you know why? 'Cause it keeps my bod forever young, son!”
 * “Oh, just shut yer traps, now! I'll use MY Crystal Star however I dang please!”
 * “Check THIS out! HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSCLE–UP!”
 * “MAAAAAAAAAACHO GRUBBA!”
 * “Hoo–wee! I'm gonna smoosh you guys into guacamole an' snack on YER energy, too!”
 * “MAAAACHO! I'm a powerhouse now, you pesterin', li'l pieces of prairie piffle! So long's I have this here machine, my bod'll be rough, tough, an' ultrabuff!”
 * “Oh yeah! Keep it spicy! You know I love a good tussle, Gonzales! Keep on scrappin', son! 'Course, it ain't gonna do you much good in the end…”
 * “Not too shabby, Gonzales! You got showmanship, an' that's GOLD in this biz! But this here battle's just gettin' started! It's time I showed you some real moves! Back in the day, I had so many rump–kickin' moves, they had to make some illegal!”
 * "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! It ain't finished yet, Gonzales!!! Ain't over 'til it's over! That's way it is in combat sports, son! But lemme just tell YOU somethin'… Fortune's gonna smile on ME in the end, punk!”
 * “Nooo… How'd a perfect bod like mine lose to such a chub? Urrgh… Great Gonzales… Great fight there, son. Great fight…”

Gus

 * "Whoa! Whoa! Hold up, now! If you want to pass through here, you gotta pay 10 coins."
 * "One, two, three...Yup! That's 10 coins all right! You can pass."
 * "Whoa! Whoa! Hold up, now! You don't have enough cash! You dirty, lying cheapskate!"
 * "It's really simple. If you don't pay, you don't pass."
 * "What? You gotta be kidding. You think you can fight your way through here?"
 * “I'm gonna make you eat your words, tough guy! Let's get this party started!”
 * “CRUD! You dumb video–game heroes ALWAYS pull this stuff! It's RIDICULOUS! You think violence solves everything, don't you? Huh? DON'T YOU?!?”
 * “You're amazing! I think I might even brag about the fact that you wrecked me!”
 * “…No, wait a second. I can't brag about getting beaten over 10 measly coins… That's pathetic! Crud!!!”

Heff T.

 * "Whoawhoawhoawhoa! What do you want?!?"
 * "BUUUUUUUUUURP!"
 * "Sorry about that. Now...What were you just saying? A pot from the kitchen?"
 * "Oh, I get it! Food gets stolen and you blame the chubby guy! NOT NICE!!!"
 * "What? Drops of stew on the floor outside?"
 * "N-No... I wouldn't know anything about that! No! People spill stuff!"
 * "And there's nothing in the drawer, so no need to look! You won't find a thing!"
 * "Doh! ......"
 * "I'm sorry! I ate it all! It was MEEEEEEEEE!"
 * "Yes... Yes, that's right."
 * "I'm so sorry, but it was a brief moment of weakness...Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!"

Hooktail

 * "Who dares approach me?"
 * "Hmm... So... You are friends of the strange–garbed one who came earlier?"
 * "I didn't expect more to come to steal the treasure I protect... Such rashness..."
 * "That was foolish, I fear. Do you really think you can beat me?"
 * "But you're so small. And you don't appear tasty. I suppose you might make a good snack. And the bottoms of your feet smell like they might make a good sauce with some spices."
 * "What I'll do is saute you to crispy goodness and gobble you down...HEADFIRST!"
 * "Snack time, little appetizers! But which one of you morsels should I taste first?"
 * "Bleck! That awful sound! It...sounds like a cricket! How did you know?"
 * "Stop that this instant!"
 * "Urp... I got really bad...ugh... food poisoning once when I ate a cricket. I HATE them!"
 * "Oh... Fight it, Hooky...
 * "Just hearing a cricket chirp makes me feel woozy!"
 * "Ooooog... Must...not...gag... My poor tummy... Uuuuurp... So very woozy..."
 * "W-Wait! Hold up a moment!"
 * "I give up! Please!"
 * "I won't be so bad anymore. I promise! In fact, I'm sorry! For everything!"
 * "Er... Yeah...
 * "To prove it, I'll give you 1,000 coins! What do you say? Can you forgive me?"
 * "What? You must be joking! You don't need any coins?
 * "Then how about the lovely, rare, extra-special badge I have? I'll give you that."
 * "It's one of a kind! And it's yours for a limited time only! Will you take it?"
 * "Of course you want it! Who wouldn't? Now,come here and get your badge..."
 * "OHHHH ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!"
 * "You were completely duped by my ingenicus ruse! You senseless yokels"
 * "Nothing in life is that easy! Your gulliability did you in!"
 * "Errrr... Really?!?"
 * "Well, I suppose I could apologize by letting you smell the bottoms of my feet."
 * "People pay good money to do this. I'm being completely honest right now. Really."
 * "So? Care to take a whiff of the rich, yet delicate scent of my world-renowned feet?"
 * "Hrrrrrrrrmmmm! You aren't a very trusting fellow, are you?"
 * "It's important to be able to trust someone, you know."
 * "Err... I guess I'd better..."
 * "Ohhh ho ho ho ho ho ho! Ahhh! Now my strength has returned to me!"
 * "Blurp! Why do I always have to feel so faint every time I hear a...urp...cricket?"
 * "B-But... I... I..."
 * "GURK!"
 * "How? Why? There's still so much I wanted to do with my life... So many meals..."

Ishnail

 * “What's that? You wanna know how to meet that lying, stealing, jerky–for–brains, Don Pianta?”
 * “Real thieves like us end up poor as dirty, never catchin' a break 'cause of that guy!”
 * “Fine, Mr. Insensitive Jerk, but it's gonna cost you 64 coins.”
 * “YESSS! I mean, good call.”
 * “Hey, you! That was amazin'! I can't believe how you cleared out that darkness!”
 * “You really are incredible! If I ever have a problem, I'm goin' straight to you.”
 * “You saved the world, guy! You're welcome here anytime! My house is yours!”

Jerry

 * “Sorry I sound so down, but you would be too if you saw Luigi dressed as a bride.”
 * “I have to protect the world from my fate. That's why I'm sticking close to this guy.”

Jolene

 * "Let's get ready to... BRAAAAWL!"
 * “Mr. Champion! No, I mean, Mario…”
 * “Please allow me to express my earnest thanks for defeating that foul Grubba.”
 * “Now, sir… I mean, NO! NOT "SIR"! Grubba! I want answers, and I want them NOW! What have you done with my precious little brother? You know what I'm talking about: The first champion, PRINCE MUSH!”
 * “Well, Champ, tell us about your mind–set! After all, today's challenger is… The Great Gonzales, the only man to ever wrestle the belt away from you!”
 * “But, Champ, Gonzales showed no signs of rust in climbing back up to the ranks…”
 * “He shattered his own records, one after another! How does THAT strike you?”
 * “Big words from the champ! And now, the challenger, who needs no introduction!”
 * “The former champ returns!! The Superstar Sequel… The GREAT GOOOOOONZALES!”
 * “Listen to the crowd give it up for the brave challenger, the Great Gonzales!”
 * “It's been a while since these two met…but who will emerge victorious this time?”
 * “The battle is ready to begin! Ring that bell!”
 * “Who could've seen this coming? You couldn't PLAN a more ferocious battle!”
 * “Wild moves, raw power, fists and feathers of fury… What beautiful destruction!”
 * ”This was without a doubt, inarguably, definitely, absolutely, completely…“
 * ”An EXTREEEEEME battle of the very highest caliber!“
 * ''”But there could only be one winner, and this time, it was the GREAT GOOOOOONZALES!“
 * ”Congratulations, Gonzales! Once again, you're our champion!!“
 * ”Congratulations, Gonzales. I was a little worried that you were over the hill, but you made quite a comeback! You are a true champion!“
 * ”Now… I think I know what you're thinking… You plan to move on, don't you?“
 * ”Well, that's fine, of course. I'll keep you registered in case you were wish to return.“
 * ''”Come back and give the folks a thrill every now and then. You know, defend your title!:;;
 * “Of course, if you lose, you'll have to drop back down into the major league…”
 * “Well then, I'm rather busy, as usual, so you'll have to excuse me.”
 * “I need to work out a plan to bring Rawk Hawk back. That guy really draws crowds!”
 * “Have a nice day, Gonzales.”
 * “Please, Mr. Gonzales, I'm very busy these days. Fight promotion is not easy!”
 * “Please see yourself out. And have a nice day!”
 * “Thank you, Great Gonzales...No, Thank you, MARIO...You're a true champion.”
 * “Huh? Who am I, you ask? Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm! You don't know? I'm someone you know quite well, actually. When I go outside the arena, I like to cut loose and shed my other personality...”

Kammy Koopa

 * "Ah! Lord Bowser!"
 * "I've just now returned. I'm terribly sorry to keep you waiting, my lord."
 * “Please, Your Grumpiness! Don't be so impatient with your poor servant.”
 * “Ahem... It's my displeasure to report that Mario, that scum, is off to a town called Rogueport.”
 * "Yes, well, you see, my lord... Apparently Mario is hunting for an amazing treasure."
 * "Yes, Mario has gone in search of star-shaped jewels known as the Crystal Stars. I'm researching just what they are...but there's no question of their high value."
 * "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Leave it to me."
 * "By the way, Lord Bowser...Do you like fried eggs?"
 * "Well, during my Mario recon, I stopped in a lovely place called Petal Meadows."
 * "I was planning on taking everyone there for a picnic, having some eggs and toast..."
 * "Of course, I wouldn't think of sending out invites without asking you first, Lord Bowser!"
 * "Oh, dear... Lord Bowser... Please calm down... Remember your blood pressure..."
 * "Hm? What's that?"
 * "Whaaaaat??? Is this TRUE?!?"
 * "Lord Bowser! Terrible news! Some bold fool abducted Princess Peach in Rogueport!"
 * "I'm afraid we don't have that information quite yet... The investigation's ongoing."
 * "One thing is most certainly confirmed, however: the princess has been kidnapped."
 * ''"But... Your Grunginess! Wait up!
 * “Two tickets! One great and evil king, and one sweet, young thing!”
 * “What did you say, you impudent little cheapskate!?”
 * “Now my derigible deluxe brown–bag Kammy lunch will go to waste!”
 * “Oh, my yummerly! The hot dogs!”
 * “Why, even at my age, I was shaking what my mama gave me!”
 * “Lord Bowser… is that a 'no'?”
 * “Hey, you! Suspicious guy! You know something about the Crystal Stars?”
 * “Koopa Clan, form up!”
 * “So, what's it going to be, tough guy?”
 * “The fact that we keep being out–manuevered is disturbing. Where could Mario and his brother be heading?”
 * “Mweh heh heh heh! Mario, you sniveling bug! This is IT for you!”
 * “Forgive me, Lord Bowser! I have nothing left…”

Koopatrol

 * "Uh, Great Lord Bowser... The, uh, crusty hag Kammy Koopa will arrive momentarily."
 * "I'm really sorry for the inconvenience, but please wait at the rear of the room."

Koopie Koo

 * "Well, hello there. My name is Koopie Koo. It's nice to meet you."
 * "...Omigosh! That hat! Those overalls! And... And that magnificent mustache! You're Mario, aren't you?"
 * "I've heard tales of how strong you are."
 * "If you're here, that means... You're going to challenge that monstrous Hooktail!"
 * "Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! If only Koops were as brave as you..."
 * "Koops..."
 * "Well, part of it, Koops... I THOUGHT I heard you say you're off to fight Hooktail..."
 * "But...you're joking, right? I mean, you're not exactly a powerhouse... He'll eat you up!"
 * "No, Koops, you don't. I mean, going off to some dangerous place? It's... It's stupid. So what if you're timid? And sort of a crybaby. I don't care about all that. I just want you to be you. So, don't go..."
 * "FINE! IGNORE ME! STUBBORN KOOPA!!!"

Koopley

 * "YAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'm out! I'm finally out!"
 * "Eh?"
 * "Hey! You're... You're Koops!"
 * "Hey, Son! You've gotten so big since I saw you last!"
 * "Well, I came here a while back to deal with Hooktail, and all was well and good..."
 * "But just before my finishing blow, he played a trick on me and gobbled me down whole."
 * "I've been hiding in my shell for the ten years since then...inside Hooktail's belly!"
 * "And boy, was it nasty! Yuck! I'm so glad to finally get out! Ahh ha ha ha ha ha!"
 * "Oh, sorry, Son, but... I'm OK! That's good, right? We're together now, right?"
 * "Hey, speaking of which... What are you doing here, anyway?"
 * "...Crystal Star? This wouldn't be what you're talking about, would it?"
 * "I found it down there in Hooktail's belly. Nice, huh? I kept it as a souvenir."
 * "So...this is the thing you're looking for? Perfect! Just perfect! You can have it!"
 * "Come now! I won't take no for an answer. You're Koops's friend. Please take it!"

Koops

 * "Um... Hi there, folks."
 * "Did you come to this village to look for the treasure of Hooktail's castle? ..... Well...that Hooktail is one tough cookie."'
 * "Um... Excuse me! Err... I beg your pardon! Wait a moment! PLEASE!!!"
 * "Pardon me for yelling like that... I was panicking. Um... How to begin?"
 * "M-My name's...Koops. I heard you're traveling to Hooktail's castle."
 * "So, anyway, I, uh... I have a favor to ask."
 * "Well... Ummmm... Oh, just... Just forget it. Never mind. Ignore me. Good... Good-bye."
 * "Ummm... Excuse me... It's... It's Mario, right? Look, I... Ummmm... See, the thing is, I've been waiting here in the hope of getting to speak with you."
 * "I have to ask you something, and you can say no, but I'm going to throw it out there."
 * "Ummmmmm... See... I was wondering... Would you..."
 * "OH, PLEASE TAKE ME WITH YOU TO FIGHT HOOKTAIL! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU!”
 * "Sorry about that. See... My dad... He went off to battle Hooktail long ago. ...But he never came back."
 * "I miss him, of course... I miss him badly. But this isn't just about avenging my dad."
 * "Well, no... That's not true. Revenge is a part of it, I guess. A big part."
 * "But the truth is, I want to finish what Dad started. For his sake. For everyone's sake."
 * "I... Man, this is embarrassing... See, everyone always says I'm a crybaby... A weakling."
 * "But if I can defeat Hooktail... Well, I won't be those things. I'll be strong, like may dad."
 * "I know it'll be dangerous, but I still want to go! Please, Mario!"
 * "What? But... But why? Why can't I go?"
 * "When, if that's how you feel...I'm not giving up hope, though."
 * "I promised myself I wouldn't."
 * "Ummm...So, if...If you change your mind, Mario, let me know, OK?"
 * "I'll be over there polishing my shell. Can't have an adventure with a dull shell."
 * "For real? No kidding? Yes! Thank you so much! You won't regret this!"
 * "OK, Mario! Let's get going!"
 * "Oh... Golly... Umm... Hi... Hi, Koopie... Koopie Koo... Did you overhear all that?"
 * "I know, Koopie Koo. But I want to be tougher. For you... So I have to do this..."
 * "Sorry, Koopie Koo... I've made up my mind."
 * "No need to worry, though! After all, I'm traveling with Mario. He's the man!"
 * "I'm sorry, Koopie Koo... I swear to you... I will come back to you a stronger Koopa!"
 * "Well, Mario, that's that, I guess. No turning back! Hooktail's castle awaits!"
 * "Oh, man... Hooktail Castle... The stories were all true… This place is TERRIFYING…"
 * "Oh... OH, NOOOOO! These bones... They remind me of my father... There's... There's no doubt about it! It's my father! DAAAAAAAD!"
 * "Umm... Wait, what's this? Mario! My father's clutching some kind of letter. Or at least, his...ugh...bones are. So... What should I do? Should I read it?"
 * "Umm...OK. I can do this. I... I'll read it. Ahem..."
 * “Huh? 'My son, KOLORADO'? Not 'Koops'??? Oooooooooooooooooooooops... Ummm... Yeah. I guess this isn't my father, after all.”
 * "But if this isn't my father... I wonder if that pile of bones over THERE is my dad..."
 * "Ummm... M-Mario... L-Look at that!"
 * "Oh, I don't like the look of this... Come on! Run!"
 * "Man... That was TOO close!"
 * "Gotta shake it off... Hoo. OK. We got the key, so let's go open that spooky chest."
 * "H-Hey! Who are you?"
 * "Umm, well, you see... We're here to beat Hooktail and get the...um...Crystal Star."
 * "So...don't think we'll let you get the Crystal Star first, no matter how cute you are!"
 * "Darn!"
 * "Ummm... Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"
 * ''"Oh, my! You're so...bold... Is that legal?
 * “I wonder what her story is... I bet it's an exciting one... Full of romance…”
 * "That's just not right!"
 * "I've had enough of this! Let's finish this guy off fast, Mario!"
 * "Wow! We actually pulled it off, Mario!"
 * "Now all we have to do is find that Crystal Star thing you're looking for, Mario."
 * "WHOA! It... It can't be!"
 * "Da... DAD?!?"
 * "Well, yeah, I guess I have... But who cares, Dad?"
 * "I mean, golly! What happened to you? Where've you been all this time?"
 * "Honestly, Dad... Don't you know how worried about you we all were?"
 * "For ten long years we all thought you'd...you know! We though your game was over!"
 * "Oh, come on, Dad... I came here to defeat Hooktail, who's been wreaking havoc in town."
 * "And Mr. Mario here is looking for a gem called the Crystal Star."
 * "What's THAT?"
 * "Um... All right, Mario! Hold up that Crystal Star!"
 * "Hey, uh, Mario, look there. The next Crystal Star showed up on the map."
 * "But... I'm sorry but I don't have a clue where that is."
 * "Um... I think we maybe should take it to Professor Frankly and let him look at it."
 * "Um... So, can you tell us where the next Crystal Star is or not?"
 * "A great tree in the Boggly Woods, huh?"
 * "Um... Professor Frankly... You should probably know... It's about Princess Peach..."
 * "Mr. Mario got an e-mail from her just recently."
 * "Her Highness said that the guys who kidnapped her are also hunting Crystal Star."
 * "Oh, and she said she doesn't even know where she's being held. ...Yeah."
 * "Um... I guess all we can do is head to Boggly Woods to find that next Crystal Star!"
 * "Hey! Mario! You see that? That was one of the things Professor Frankly mentioned!"
 * "Um... Mario, that was uncool. Don't say stuff like that. I thought you were... nicer."
 * "Relax, relax, little guy. We're not bullies, I swear."
 * "Um... Aren't you one of the creatures from Boggly Woods? Why are you down here?"
 * “X-Nauts'? What the heck are those? They sound like tissues to the extreme, or something.”
 * "Look, we're not here to do ANYTHING to you, so relax. Tell us what's going on, OK?"
 * "A bunch of bad guys in the Great Tree?"
 * "If those are the same guys who kidnapped the princess, they want the Crystal Star!"
 * "Um... I guess we should... I'd feel pretty bad if we didn't do anything."
 * "Plus, we do need the Crystal Stars before those X-guys do."
 * "So, the Boggly Woods, huh? Looks mysterious, all right. What'll we run into next?"
 * “Ummm… OK, we can do this!”
 * “Ms. Mowz sure is cute. Too bad I sound like such a dork whenever I talk to her.”
 * ''"WHAT THE HECK?!?"
 * ''"Andy! We're gonna get through this! Why shouldn't we go near the ring?"
 * ''"Ohhh... crud. Bad news, Mario. This door's been locked. We're trappd in here!"
 * ''"Phew! We made it..barely. Listen to all those cheers! Your fans are out in force! Com on, let's get in there and beat this guy!"
 * ''"So it WAS you! You're the guy who's been sending us Crystal Star hate mail!"
 * ''"Ummm... Mario? Is it just me, or do you hear a voice?"
 * ''"Could it be...a ghost?"
 * ''"Y-Y-Y-Yikes! That Mailbox SP almost scared me to death! Turn down that volume!"
 * ''"So...there is actually a ghost in here with us? Let's hide under the bed."
 * ''"Hey, see that? I bet that's the document Grubba hid. Let's check it out.
 * ''"Wow! A machine under the ring using a Crystal Star? These are the blueprints! I can't make much sense of this paper, but I think the Crystal Star powers it! If this document's correct, then the machine can...gulp...suck the power out of people! Oh, man... You think King K and Bandy Andy got, you know...drained?"
 * ''"You...great...big...JERK! How could you do that to King K and Bandy Andy?!?"
 * ''"Mario! Let's go after him!"
 * ''"Wow, Mario! Take a look! The Crystal Star!"
 * ''"How could you us a Crystal Star just to look better? You won't get away with this!"
 * ''"Wow! Grubba got...really big! That isn't good!"
 * ''"Mario, we owe it to the other fighters to teach this maniac a lesson! C'mon!"
 * ''"So, our mysterious X..."
 * ''"Gee, she seemed kind of aloof, but she just really loved her brother..."
 * ''"Hey! Mario, look up there! The Crystal Star!"
 * ''"So, The Crystal Star brought him back?"
 * ''"Ummm... You sure you don't mind us taking it?"
 * ''"I guess it's okay then, Mario! Let's take it!"
 * ''"Um.... K-Koops."
 * ''"H-Hey! Think you could ease up on jabbing me, Pokey?"
 * “Let's leave these wimps, Mario…”
 * "Ummm...What do we do? We can't serve her!!!"
 * "Is that..."
 * "Can you hear them, Mario? So many voices..."
 * "They're... They're all sending us their wishes and positive energy...That's...amazing..."
 * "That voice... Princess Peach?!?"
 * "Mario! Look at THAT!!!"
 * "What... What's this? I feel all full of energy..."
 * "PEACH!!!"
 * "Mario! The time is now! We've almost got her!"
 * “Mario, thanks to you, I've gained courage and inner strength, and I've grown closer to my dad. I think I like myself more since I've known you. It's all so hard to put into words. Um…”
 * “Yikes! What a grump!”

KP Pete

 * "Yo, Rook! How was you're first fight, dog?"
 * "I'm King K, man. Just a bush-league scrub like you."
 * ''"Meet my peeps, Gonzales! I told you we were gonna square off, and now it's ON!"

Lady Bow

 * “It IS you, isn't it, Mario? Well, it's been quite a while, hasn't it?”
 * “I've come here with Bootler, yes, a little vacation to Poshley Sanctum. I hadn't left the mansion in ages. I figured it was time to turn some heads on the road!”
 * "GWAH HEE HAH!"
 * “But what a nice surprise to see you! Feel free to be overwhelmed by my beauty.”

Lord Crump

 * ''“Oh, come off it, you airhead! I know it's tough for you, but don't play dumb with me!”
 * ''“I've seen you walking around town asking for information about the Crystal Stars. Well, now I'm doing the asking, so be a good girl and tell us what you know. Right. NOW!”
 * ''“I suppose it wouldn't be right if a sassy little lass like you met with an untimely demise…”
 * ''“Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Boys, we're taking this firebrand to our fortress!”
 * "Whuh? What do you think YOU'RE doing, chump? You think you can screw up my plans?!?"
 * "Gah! It's always something..."
 * "Looks like I'm going to have to give you a little taste of the old CRUMP-A-BOMB!"
 * "Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! OK, you got a couple decent shots in, I'll give you that."
 * "But...unfortunately for you, that means... IT'S GO TIME!"
 * "PUNISH MIM!"
 * ''"Buh-HUUUUUH?!? STOPPP!!! Where'd they go?!? Huh? You! Johnson! Did you see them? Did anyone? Uh... Crud! They bolted!"
 * "Whuzzat?!? Oh, yeah, sure! Roger, Grodus! And with that... Pow! I'm gone!"
 * “I knew it was brilliant, but seeing you fall for it REALLY gives me a warm fuzzy!”
 * “What?!? Are you nuts? Move it, you old geezer!”
 * “Whoa What's your problem, Gramma? You got an ear hair tickling your brain, or what?”
 * “You hotheaded old coot! You dare defy me? I could shine my boots with you!”
 * “Buh! Buh huh huh!”
 * “You guys are nuts, you know that? Oh, well. I guess I'd better shut off this timer.”
 * “OK, you pests! One pummeling, coming up…with extra fists! Metal fists, that is!”
 * “Awake, Magnus von Grapple! Time for a technological thrashing! Enjoy!”
 * “You crying yet? Yeah? Sorry, but this thing isn't armed with tissues. Well, Magnus von Grapple has that effect on people. Total, weeping terror.”
 * “And you ain't seen nothing yet! Check out the power on this bad boy!”
 * “Here it comes, suckers! Magnus von PUNISH!!!”
 * “Oh, it ain't over yet! This is so awesome. Check out what else this guy could do! You're gonna love it!”
 * “This might not work out too well for you!”
 * “Gurk! Urrrrrrgh… Not good… Can't last…”
 * “Bleeeeee–harrrrgh… This could be the end…”
 * “Buh! Bu–AAAAAARGH! No! Magnus von Grapple! How we could lose?!?”
 * “Hurff… Hurfff… Hurffff… I'll remember this, losers!”
 * “Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh huh huh! I've got some ammo to spare! How's THAT for boom–bassa–boom?!?”
 * “I'll sink that ratty old ghost ship to the bottom of the ocean!”
 * “I'm gonna turn you guys into wee seeds… Wait, that's not right. I'll turn you into SEAWEED! Buh huh! Enjoy!”
 * ”I'm down, but no WAY I'm out!“
 * ”MAN, THIS IS GETTING OLD! How could I lose…again?!? I HATE LOSING! Now I gotta think of another excuse for Grodus! Grrrrrrr! And with that…pow! I'm gone!“
 * ”I've been waiting for you! Oh, MAN, have I been waiting! And I HAAAAAAAATE waiting!“
 * ”Buh huh! I'll TELL you what it means! I used the Crystal Star to lure you here… So that I could take all of YOUR Crystal Stars! How brilliant is THAT, huh?”
 * “And wanna know the best part? Your little Peachy girl isn't even here anymore!”
 * “BUH! BUH! BUH! BUH! BUH! Like I'd tell you the plan! That's novice–villain style! No, I won't be doing anything like that. Sorry, really, guys…”
 * So… ready for showtime? You guys are gonna be the perfect workout for… Magnus von Grapple 2.0!“
 * ”I hope you're up to the challenge…because this thing is raw horsepower, kiddies!!!“
 * ”Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Yeah, last version was buggy, so we made improvements… One…two…a DOZEN!!! Get ready for a whole new way to experience pain, you junior–varsity losers!“
 * “Here it comes, suckers! Magnus Drill Attack!!”
 * "Buh huh huh! Time to unleash some of the sweet special features on this bad boy! Oh, man, this is gonna be so good..."
 * ''"Buh huh huh...uh, crud. You guys should be little puddles of nothing by now... Oh well, I've still got some tricks up my sleeve!
 * "Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! EAT THIS!"
 * ''"Hurrfff... Haaaack... No... How... What? My sweet powered-up robot is on the ropes! This is wrong!
 * "BLAAARGH!"
 * ”GRRRRROOOOOODDDDUUUUUSSS!!!“

Luigi

 * "Hey, Bro! Check it out! A letter from Princess Peach arrived for you!"
 * "I'll just read it to you, how's that sound?"
 * "Ahem! Now let's see here..."
 * "What do you know? It's true! There's a weathered old map in here with the letter. Check it out!"
 * ''”I was one hot sacrifice, Bro.“
 * "Wanna hear what happened? It's a pretty long story..."
 * "Hey, sounds good to me! Which part of my story you wanna hear, Bro?"
 * ''”You go, Bro!“

Madame Flurrie

 * ”…Perhaps if I grabbed you and gave you a little sugar?“
 * ”Did you really think we'd let a wretch like you escape? I DO believe you will be handing over that Crystal Star and promptly exiting this tree!“
 * ”Why, that was no fuss whatsoever!“
 * ”Here we go, darling! Time to shine!“
 * ”Aww, you wish to accompany us, you adorable little thing?“
 * ”You, Mr. Proprietor! Would you allow us to free this poor soul?“
 * ”Why, that voice belongs to Grubba!“
 * ”You shut your trap, sir! You drained the life from those poor souls!“
 * ”Using innocent fighters and a Crystal Star just to improve your looks? You're despicable.“
 * ”So, our mysterious X…“
 * ”'Big deal'? You foul boor! What ever would possess you to do something so mean?“
 * "Oh, mercy! Was that it? This fellow was so easy! I was rather expecting more. Well, I suppose we got the Crystal Star, so let's leave immediately, hmm?"
 * ”How could I mistake my dear Mario for another? Silly Flurrie!“
 * ”Let's leave these louts, Mario…“
 * ”So, this gentlemen is the leader of those X–Nauts?“
 * ”So, that last Crystal Star we found on the Moon… NO! What have we done?“
 * ”Mario, do be careful, dear! This fellow looks like he means business!“
 * ”We shan't let that happen!“
 * ”Mario, what shall we do, darling? We cannot bow down to her!“
 * ”Now that's just senseless… Are we to betray all of those who believed in us?“
 * ”Time to pay for all of your ills!“
 * ”My dear, dear, Mario. I am ready to make my comeback in the theatre, now! I've found so many things on this journey that I could only express on stage. Please do come to see me once we've finished rehearsing. And bring Peach, too, dear!“

Marilyn

 * "Guhhhhh..."
 * ”The Three…“
 * ”Guh!“

Mayor Kroop

 * "Hmph? Whuzzat? Someone there? Who is it? WHO?!? What do you want from me? I know! You're thieves! Here to rob a defenseless old Koopa! Despicable!"
 * "Go on, do what you will...but as you can plainly see, there's nothing to steal here. Oh, I guess I have a little money... Take it, you fiends. And my antique shell, too. Just leave the photos of me and the missus. Can't do without those memories..."
 * "What? Not thieves, you say? Well, what's your story, then? Oh, wait... You folks looking for Crystal Stars?"
 * "Well, why didn't you pipe up before, you ijit! We're just wasting time, here!"
 * "The Crystal Stars you say you're hunting... Errrmm... Wait... What did I hear about those dang things, again?"
 * "Aha! Got it! Hooktail! Hooktail's got what you're looking for! It's this enormous, ornery dragon. Eats folks, they say. You know Hooktail, right?"
 * "Well, this Hooktail's brutal fly-by snackings have all of us on pins and needles. So, are you reckless fools... I mean... Are you gallant heroes off to rough it up?"
 * "This DOES sound promising!"
 * "Why, if you can rid us of Hooktail, we'll shower you with gratitude and rewards. Wait, what's that I hear? You'll accept no rewards?"
 * "What an unselfish man! You're noble, indeed... Yup, a good egg. Now... What did you say your name was, again?"
 * "...Murphy? Hmm... That's a fine name. Yes, a fine name, indeed. Well now, Murphy..."
 * "I appreciate that, Murphy! They ARE nice eyebrows."
 * "Now, listen up. If you're intent on going to Hooktail's castle, find the secret pipe near this village. I don't know where it's at, but I know you need stone keys to use that pipe. The keys are somewhere in Shhwonk Fortress, just past the village. Get them first."
 * "Well then, Murphy... Get going and take care of that Hooktail monster!"

McGoomba

 * "You never know who'll be watching, so let's do this thing quick."
 * "Take this package to Goomfrey. You'll find him in front of Frankly's place."
 * "And try not to be seen."
 * "Did you deliver it? Phew! You saved my neck, buddy."
 * "Oh! I almost forgot your compensation. You saved my neck. You get something good."

Mr. Hoggle

 * "No! Bad! So very bad! Behave yourself, egg!"
 * "No! Bad! Come back! Help! My important egg escaped! Somebody, catch it!"
 * "So bad! It does not even have arms and legs, and still I cannot catch it!"
 * "My menu was going to have the Southern Fried Egg Dog of Tastiness, but now... Bad!"
 * "I ordered that naughty egg from an island in the south! I had to pay shipping, too!"
 * 'Don't just stand there! Help catch it!!!"
 * "MOST AWFULLY BAD!"
 * "Come down from there, egg! How am I supposed to get it now? FLY there?!?"
 * "You! Don't just stand there with your mustache! Find a way to get up there!"
 * "Aww... Fine. Most people don't like eating stuff that jumps all over the place, anyway."

Ms. Mowz

 * ”Huh? Oh, my! Who's this handsome piece of cheese?“
 * "I can't believe there are other thieves here besides me. How very strange..."
 * "Me? Why, I'm Ms. Mowz, the globe-trotting thief! Heard of me, sweetie? ♥"
 * "I heard there were rare and valuable badges here in this castle. That's why I'm here."
 * "But the real question is...why are people like YOU roaming in such a run-down place?"
 * "Crystal Star, you say? Mmmm hmm hmm!"
 * "I didn't know a thing like THAT was hidden in this castle... Sounds intriguing!"
 * "Perhaps I just heard something you didn't want me hearing? Mmm hmm hmm hmm!"
 * "Oh, but that's OK... I mean, you were looking for this Crystal Star first..."
 * "And I already found the badge I was after, so I'll let you get your Crystal Star. ♥"
 * "Mmmm hmm hmm hmm! ♥ It means I must say bye-bye for now, Mr. Cutie."
 * "I know. It's sad. We just met, and already it is time to say farewell. Alas... ♥"
 * "Oh, I almost forgot... I have a little secret to share with you. ♥"
 * "Somewhere in this castle is a badge that'll help you best Hooktail, or so I've heard."
 * "I don't know what kind of badge it is. Maybe you found it already, maybe not."
 * "If you're going to fight Hooktail, I'd recommend finding that badge first."
 * "Well, take care, handsome mustache man! Let's get together again real soon!"
 * ”Opening the door for you? What do you mean by THAT, you awful thing?“
 * ''”Let's leave these idiots, Mario…“
 * “Mario is no pawn of evil! Ridiculous!”
 * “Why are we even talking about this? NEVER!”
 * “It is time for us to part, my little cheese hunk. But I will not say farewell, because you're welcome here anytime you please, sweetie! Until then… adieu.”
 * “You look a bit weak to be fighting us… Mmm hmm hmm!”
 * "Mmm hmm hmm! It means I must say bye bye for now Mr. Cutie. I know. It's sad. We just met. But for now, farewell!"

Paragoomba

 * "Wassup, baby? Why don't you hang with us for a while? We play real nice!"
 * "What, you're too good for us? Come off it, sister!"

Parakarry

 * “Mail call!”

Parrot

 * "Skrawk? What happened to those weirdos who were just here? Ah, whatever... It was almost nice to have some company... I mean, no matter how important it is that no one know[s] his real name... Locking me up in here just because I know it... And making me guard the name's stupid missing letter... No way to treat a parrot! I REALLY want a cracker... Doopliss, you're a big meanie. When's feeding time, huh?"
 * "Skra-WAAAAAAAAAARK?!? Uh... Pretty bird! Pretty bird!"
 * "Man, am I tired of this stupid parrot babble act... It's so demeaning. And guarding this dumb letter here... I should report that Doopliss to the proper authorities...unless he gives me a cracker."
 * "Shine get! Shine get!"

Pennington

 * “Rudimentary, my dear Luigi!”
 * “No need for introductions. I know all about the famous Luigi!”
 * “We could have questioned him about all that Beldam business…”
 * "Ah, it is my dear Luigi! What are you doing at my doorstep, young fellow?"
 * "Well, yes... That is more like a hobby of mine, if the truth must be told."
 * "But enough chatter, hm? Shall we go inside?"
 * "Just a second there, Luigi! Exactly WHAT is going on here? Speak quickly!"
 * "Hm, yes, quite rudimentary... So you were looking for the Crystal Star in this sanctum..."
 * "Ohohohohohohohohohoho! Yes, very interesting..."
 * "Well, no cause for worry! The Crystal Star is safe! Yes, quite safe, indeed!"
 * "The stone that our rude friends stole was fortunately a red herring! A fake!"
 * "The real one is hidden somewhere in this sanctum to prevent such a theft!"
 * "However... As to the location of the real Crystal Star..."
 * "Well, as Sanctum Manager, I am, of course, prohibited from telling anyone..."
 * "However...I do know where it is! Of that you can be most certain! Yes, indeed!"
 * "Besides, I am sure a junior detective like yourself can could find it on your own!"
 * "Now, Luigi! Put to use all of the razor-sharp sleuthing skills I have taught you! Make me proud!"
 * "Hm... So that is where it was..."
 * "Oh, er, nothing! NOTHING! Just talking to my brain. All genuises do it."
 * "Congratulations, Luigi! You have found the real Crystal Star!"
 * "So please, feel free to take it... I will just put another fake one over here..."
 * "Well, traveling with you has been rather hectic, but I do admit, rather fun, as well!"
 * "I am sure you still a long road ahead, Luigi, but do not give up!"
 * "I do believe I will miss you when you are gone, Luigi."
 * "Oh, and, Luigi... Please give my regards to your dear brother!"
 * "You there! I have you now, villains! You...are common thieves! Aren't you? AREN'T YOU???"
 * "My eyes never deceive!"
 * "What? The Shadow Thief?!? I knew this had the scent of no mere burglary!!! Ha!"
 * "You've been hornswoggled, Shadow Thief...for that is a red herring! A fake!"
 * "If you must know, I gave the real one to Luigi! Ohhhhh ho ho ho ho ho!"
 * "...Will you, now? Luigi! Well done, lad! Way to not fail! ...Yet."
 * “M–Mario?? G–Gonzales?? Not… L–Luigi??”
 * “Luigi… Er, no, rather… I mean M–Mario… How are you, dear boy?”

Pine T.

 * "Huh? What? Who are you??? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
 * "Wow! Did you come here just to save me?"
 * "Really? Pine T. Jr.? Wow! Good... I have to get back alive. Show me the way out!"
 * "Don't mind me! Just beat 'em!"
 * "OK. Let's go."
 * "Hey! The exit! OK, Pine T. Jr.! I'm on my way home!"
 * "Sorry for troubling you."

Podler

 * "Oh, you're Mr. Gonzales! Yeah, that's the mustache I've been waiting for!"
 * "Actually, you're pretty late... Somebody left a package and a note by the door a bit ago."
 * "The letter said: "Look for a thick-'stached man named Gonzales and give him this.""
 * "The "this" the letter was talking about is...this."
 * "So far's I could tell, that hammer's a new model, the HAMMERWHACK 2005..."
 * "Real nice hammer all around. Solid craftsmanship, good grip, high bonkability."
 * "The commercials for this thing say that the hammer chooses its user..."
 * "They aren't cheap, either, so whoever gave this to you must be a big fan."
 * "But... Why leave it in this juice shop? Doesn't that strike you as a bit odd?"
 * "I mean, it's not like it's that hard to hand a gift a pro fighter..."

Princess Peach

 * "Finally! I have a minute without Toadsworth watching over me! He's so paranoid!"
 * "I come all the way here on holiday...only to be stuck with Toadsworth! It's so stifling!"
 * "Once in a while I'd like the chance to look around on my own and see what I want."
 * "But...now that I'm doing it, all I see is that this town has a very...umm...distinct flavor..."
 * "Do you mean...me?!?"
 * "Oh! Well... Umm..."
 * "Well, that's a pretty box! What's inside it?"
 * "Ooooh..."
 * "Um... All right... What's the harm?"
 * "I'll try to open it."
 * "I'm telling you, I don't know."
 * "Mario!"
 * "Oh no!"
 * "Oh, dear... Here we go again..."
 * ''“I can't believe I'm kidnapped again. Mario and Toadsworth must be worried sick. Again.”
 * "But...hang on a moment! Where in the world am I, anyway? It's so unfamiliar..."
 * "I wish I could at least let Mario and Toadsworth know that I've been caught..."
 * "What a lovely shower! No soap scum, even! Wow. I wonder if it works..."
 * "Ahhhhhh! Hee hee!"
 * "How refreshing! I feel like a new princess!"
 * "Hmm? What was that? Hey! How odd... The doors opened by themselves."
 * "Weird... It doesn't look like...anyone's around."
 * "How do I keep making these doors open? How odd..."
 * "Huh? What? Who said that? Where are you?"
 * "Grodus... Wait, he's that awful dome-headed thing who interrogated me, right?"
 * "Well, I don't think so. But I doubt I'll change your mind... So, I'm wondering... Why did you lead me in here?"
 * "Wait... Did you just say... You want to observe me? ...To know more about me? Could it be that you..."
 * "No! Impossible! It can't be! You're a computer..."
 * "Oh, I couldn't, really... Because...it's just too weird."
 * "Well, you know, maybe... Is it possible that, well...you're...in love...with me?"
 * "Wait, you don't know what love is?"
 * "Love... How do I explain? Love tells you when you want to be with a person forever. It makes you feel happy just to see that person happy, smiling...having fun."
 * "When you love someone, you will do anything to help when he or she is in trouble."
 * ''“'Comprehend' love? Love's not something you comprehend, TEC. You feel it.”
 * "What? You're a computer! Why would you care about love?"
 * ''“What, are you insane? You X–Jerks kidnapped me like common Koopas!”
 * "And now you call me in here and ask me to teach you the meaning of love?"
 * "I should spit on your screen! You'll grant my wishes? Ha! Why should I believe you?"
 * "Are you sure? Well, OK... Here goes..."
 * "Can I contact someone? The sooner, the better..."
 * "You mean this keyboard? All right... Let me give this a shot."
 * "OK, it's ready, TEC. Could you send it?"
 * "Uh... OK then. Good night."
 * "Hmm? Oh! Is this the uniform? Am I supposed to wear this ugly thing?"
 * "I don't know about this...It's awfully tight. And it kind of smells a bit..."
 * "Phew! Who knows how, but I got into it. I can barely breathe, though."
 * “You inhuman beast! How could you?”
 * “Where am I?”
 * “MARIO!”
 * “Mario… I'm so sorry. Sending you that map… caused all this trouble, didn't it…”
 * “Who knew all this would happen?”
 * “I don't know how to thank you, but know that the entire world is in your debt!”

Professor Frankly

 * "Whuzzah??? Who's there? Who wants me?"
 * "Ah. Yes. You. Now, you, uh..."
 * "I've seen that face before... Yes, that face..."
 * "Wait for it... Just a moment... Don't tell me, now! Silence! I'll get it right!"
 * "Umm... It's not Goombriel..."
 * "Err... It's not Eliazagoom..."
 * "Hrrrmmmm... Errrmmm... A-HAAA! I've got it!!!"
 * "You're Goombella, aren't you? You were in my archaeology class last year, am I right?"
 * "Of course I remember you. Not to toot my horn, but I'm pretty good at remembering."
 * "You, though... You stick out in my mind because you were such an exceptional student."
 * "And that guy behind you is... WHO?!?"
 * "Oh! My apologies. I'm such a bookworm, I haven't a clue about what's 'hip' right now."
 * "In any case, what sort of errand brings you two all the way to a place like this?"
 * "Of course I know about it. The reason I came here was to study that very subject. But why do you tykes want to learn about the legendary treasure? You know that most say it's little more than a fairy tale, don't you?"
 * "Good point! And well made! In that case, I'll cooperate with you however I can."
 * First of all, about the treasure... There are many mysteries surrounding it. Some say it's an infinitely vast treasure hoard, while others say it's a magical item. Some books say it's actually a monster, while still others claim it's an empty chest... So many different theories... Obviously, it's impossible to divine the truth among them."
 * "...But all agree on one point: to find the treasure, one must have the Crystal Stars!"
 * "Indeed, the same. As the saying goes, if you want to find the legendary treasure... You first must collect the seven Crystal Stars."
 * "Correct! And the Thousand-Year Door is supposedly here, deep beneath this town."
 * "Yet the critical piece of the puzzle--the Magical Map--is lost. If only we had that map!"
 * "WHAAAT??? Hummina hubbity hubbida hippity hoobida hammala huffala hoofala... REALLY?"
 * "You... You actually have it? Could I...just take a quick look at it, if you don't mind?"
 * "Astounding! This is it! The real thing! The one and only Magical Map!"
 * "You, son, are my HERO! You're great! Fantastic! WONDERFUL, even!"
 * "With this... We can find the Crystal Stars just by holding this aloft before the legendary door!"
 * ''"Good golly, what are we doing just sitting here, then?!? Goombella! Mario! Off we must go, this instant! Let's take the Magical map to the legendary door!"
 * "I bet you didn't know this rotten old thing came off, did you? Heh heh!"
 * "We can use this pipe to get down under the city streets! Come on! Both of you! Let's get moving!"
 * "Oh, wait, hang on a second... Mario! Something just occurred to me."
 * "I'm fairly certain there are quite a few hoodlums below. So, uh...keep your guard up."
 * "You two do know about your Action Commands, don't you?"
 * "Really? A master, are you? Maybe you ought to practice them once, just to be safe?"
 * "A bold young lad, aren't you! Very well, then! Down we go!"
 * "Just stand on the pipe and tilt Down to enter it."
 * "A Goomba, A Spiny Gooma, and a Paragoomba! My! The whole Goomba family tree!"
 * "The only one I should warn you about is that fellow in the middle: the Spiny Goomba. See that spike on his head? Well, jump on that and you're the one who'll take damage!"
 * "The Paragoomba's airborne, so you're hammer won't reach. You'll have to jump for him."
 * "Always take your opponent's situation into consideration when fighting! Always!"
 * "...Oh! That's right! I forgot to tell you something vital!"
 * "You can press to change the order you two attack in! You can attack first if you feel like it, Goombella. Don't forget that!"
 * ''"Are you ready, Mario? There are plenty more where they came from, and they'll all have it in for us.
 * "When they attack, try to hammer them or jump on them while in the field..."
 * "Attack successfully and you can perform a First Strike when you enter battle."
 * "So if an enemy catches sight of you, be sure to thump them as you go into battle."
 * "Er, Mario... A word with you? I'm not exactly confident we can trust this...box."
 * "I think it may be best not to mention we're looking for the Crystal Stars. ...Well, drat. I just said it out loud! What's wrong with me?"
 * "Oh! Mario! Goombella! Look...at...THAT!"
 * "It's the Thousand-Year Door spoken of in the legends! I can't believe it's real!"
 * "So the legends are all true! There it is, big as life! Come! Let's move closer!"
 * "Hrmmm... It appears that information related to the locations of the Crystal Stars appeared..."
 * "And that shining light... It looked as if a mysterious power was given to Mario..."
 * "Well... One way or another... We should return to my place and study the map closely."
 * "Hrmmm... Aha! I see!"
 * "My dear, of course I do! Firstly, about that light we saw shining on Mario... By my reckoning, Mario can now perform what is known as a special move."
 * "Yes, it... Well... Stuff like this is better explained by example rather than words. Would you like to try it out?"
 * "This is VERY important. You'd better listen. I mean it. Are you ready to listen?"
 * "Hmm... You're absolutely sure? Well, all right, then."
 * "Let's have at look at that Magical Map and see what we can learn about the... WOW! ASTOUNDING! This map has radar-like functions! It now shows the location of a Crystal Star!"
 * "It looks like the first Crystal Star is to be found in a place called the Petal Meadows."
 * "Yes. The area is a vast meadow that lies far to the east of Rogueport. To tell you the truth... I've always thought that place was a tad suspicious. The name Petal Meadows did come up from time to time in my research."
 * "I'm fairly certain that somewhere beneath the city is a pipe to Petal Meadows. If you could just find that, you'd get there instantly. Pipe travel's efficient."
 * "Say, by the way, Mario... I'm curious. Where did you get that map, anyway?"
 * "From Princess Peach? Really? Her Highness sent this to you, Mario?"
 * "So it IS her! Your princess came to see me the other day. She wanted to learn about the treasure..."
 * "I told her about the Crystal Stars and my suspicions about Petal Meadows... It doesn't seem likely, but perhaps she tried to go to Petal Meadows on her own..."
 * "Hrmm... But I can't imagine Princess Peach getting involved with THEM..."
 * "All right! It's settled! Off to Petal Meadows you two go! If Princess Peach indeed went there, your first priority must be to catch up to her. Collecting the Crystal Stars is a means to an end...and that end is Princess Peach!"
 * "No, I'll stay in town and ask around about Princess Peach and that suspicious gang."
 * "Besides, I doubt a shriveled old Goomba like me could handle the trials of the road."
 * "Of course, if anything happens and you need some advice, come see me, OK?"
 * "Wait just a moment!"
 * "Mario, it's scary out there. Take this with you. It's called a badge, and it is incredibly helpful."
 * "You see, depending on the badges you have equipped, you'll get much more powerful."
 * "What's important is knowing what the effects will be when you first equip a badge."
 * "Would you like you like to practice equipping and removing badges?"
 * "Are you absolutely sure? This is the last time I'll ask. Do you want to practice?"
 * "By the way, you need Flower Points (FP) to use the Power Smash move. In battle, you should watch not only your HP, but FP, too. Did you get all that?"
 * "Well, here's hoping you find that pipe to Petal Meadows."

Puni Elder

 * "Well! I'm shocked! Who makes fun of a old woman like that! Honestly!"
 * ''"Why, if I were just ten years younger, I'd show you! Oh, you'd best believe it!"'
 * "I'll have you know that in my younger days, I was considered a Puni prize!"
 * "I had so many suitors, I had to fight them off!"
 * "Eeeh hee hee hee hee hee!"
 * "Now that I think about it there was a particulary fine boy named Punderton..."
 * "...And that's how I became the Puni Elder, the leader of the Puni Tribe."
 * ''"Now you know my tale, and I know yours, so good luck to you!
 * “'OLD GEEZER'?!? Where do you get off, talking like that? You have no respect, brat! Don't think my age has anything to do with my might! Elder power activate!”
 * “Ooh! What a time for my stupid back to start acting up!”
 * “Oh, that little Punio!!! He's always, ALWAYS so darned squishy–washy!”
 * "BEGONE!"

Punio

 * "Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!!! D-Don't eat me!!!"
 * "Huh? Uh...You didn't come to eat me? And you're not bullies?"
 * "Noooooooo! Leave me alone, you big meanies!"
 * "You can do it, right, Mario?"
 * "Huh? Did you say "nah"? Uh... What's wrong with you?"
 * ''"Let's go find her necklace!
 * “More nagging by the old hag… When will it ever stop?”

Rawk Hawk

 * “Har har har har har!”
 * “Feel the RAAAAAWWWK…”
 * “Rawk out, Great Gonzales!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAWK! Listen to me, Gonzales! Anybody who's beat me is not ALLOWED to lose!!!”
 * “That's all ancient history! There's only one true champ, and that guy is Rawk Hawk!”
 * “One of us is walking out of here with the belt, and the other one's getting RAWKED!”
 * “Hey, shut your trap or this Gonzales won't be the only one feeling the RAAAAWK!”
 * “I'm the champ, end of story! I'm a legend! And this legend is about to RAWK that dude!”
 * “Harharharharharhar! Time for you to meet the new, improved Rawk Hawk!”
 * “Feel the horror of a world–class RAAAAAWWWKING!”
 * “No! I don't believe this! I… Am I actually gonna get Rawked AGAIN?”
 * ''"Remember: When life rocks you, RAWK back!"
 * "Well, tell me something: you ever see a weakling... DO THIS?!? ...Pain."

Red Bones

 * "Blaarf harf harf HARF!"
 * "You clearly don't value your lives much if you've come to this castle to disturb us."
 * "You will go no farther, and from this moment on... You'll be nothing but bones!"

Shadow Queen

 * "Who...has called me back?"
 * "You..."''
 * "Very well... Where is the vessel?"
 * "Yessss... A fine vessel..."
 * "Now..."
 * "Muh huh huh huh... Witness my rebirth..."
 * "My soul has not yet fully accustomed to this vessel..."
 * "But I will learn to control this body soon enough..."
 * "Who are you that would command me?"
 * "What sort of being are you?"
 * "You would do well to learn your proper place, slave. No one commands me."
 * "My powers are not yet fully restored..."
 * "But...they will come in time..."
 * "Ahh, Beldam... What ages have passed?"
 * "So... You are the one truly responsible for calling me back, yessss?"
 * "Yesss... You have fulfilled your duties admirably."
 * "And who are these...beings that stand before me?"
 * "Yesss... They do not appear to possess power..."
 * "...But they may be of use. If you will become my faithful servants, I will not harm you."
 * "Yesss... You are obedient... Good, my pet..." (Become her servant)
 * "Now you are mine..."
 * "You will serve me for eternity."
 * "I see... So you defy me..." (Refuse this witch!)
 * "How...amusing..."
 * "Then, you wretched fools...you will learn the error of your ways!"
 * "You are foolish to oppose me."
 * "Yesss...and that foolishness...will have to be punished..."
 * "Hmm... So, you are not weak. Maybe you are less useless than you appear."
 * "This body is unfamiliar to me..."
 * "Yesss, too unfamiliar... Let me assume my true form and show you real power..."
 * "In this form, your attacks are like those of a child to me..."
 * "You are lucky... You will perish with the honor of having seen true terror and power!"
 * "Muh huh huh huh huh huh!"''
 * "Muh huh huh huh huh huh! Is that your idea of an attack? Foolish..."
 * "Hmmm... What a troublesome little pest you are. Muh huh huh huh huh..."
 * "Muh huh huh huh huh... Now, taste my power!"
 * "Yesss... I have recovered from any slight damage you many have caused earlier..."
 * "And now...I will punish you for your resistance..."''
 * "I will ask you again... Will you serve me? If so, I will forgive you for this..."
 * "Muh huh huh huh huh... Very well..."
 * "Then you will perish."
 * "What... What is this?"
 * "Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What... What are these vile voices?"''
 * "What is this...light?"''
 * "Oh..."
 * "Ohh..."
 * "Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhh......"
 * "Wh-What?!?"
 * "You wretched little girl! You disobey me?!?"
 * "You brat! Obey me, girl!"
 * "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Very cunning, Princess!"
 * "But you will not undo me!!! Know me as your queen!"
 * "Enough! This ends now!"''
 * "Wh-What..."
 * "H-How is it that you can hurt me?"
 * "Fooooooooools!"
 * "Muh huh huh... You do not know what you have done..."''
 * "Uuurghh..."
 * "No... It... It cannot be... How..."
 * "AAAAAIIYEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
 * "Impossible... Unthinkable..."
 * "How could I... I cannot be beaten by lesser beings such as these..."
 * "And I had just been reborn into this world... I cannot... I must not..."
 * "AAAAAIIYEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

General

 * "Hey, there, fella! Welcome to the Toad Bros. Bazaar!"
 * "What can I do for you?"
 * "If you're shopping, just stand in front of what you want and press, OK?" (Buying)
 * "Come again, OK?" (Leaving)

Buying

 * "I'm gonna need [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Want to buy it, fella?"
 * "Oooh... Gee, sorry, fella, but you don't have enough coins." (Not enough coins)
 * "Listen, fella, it looks to me like you can't carry any more items. Yeah, sorry about that." (Full inventory)
 * "I'll sell you something after you use, sell, or store some of your stuff, OK?"
 * "Hey, thanks very much, fella!" (Item bought)
 * "Oh, and I'll add [#] shop points to your total!"

Selling

 * "Huh? Listen, fella, you need to actually HAVE something for me to want to buy it." (No items)
 * "What do you want to sell?"
 * "I'll pay you [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. How about it?"
 * "I see... Is there anything else you want to sell, fella?" (Refusing to sell)
 * "Thanks, fella!" (Item sold, 1 item)
 * "Hey, thanks very much, fella!" (Item sold, more items)
 * "Is there anything else you want to sell?"

Storing

 * "Huh? Maybe I misheard you, but I'm pretty sure you don't have anything to store." (No items)
 * "Ooh, I'm sorry, fella, but I can't store anything else." (Full storage)
 * "I can store [#] more item(s) for you, fella. Want to store something?"
 * "OK, no problem. I'll store it for you at no charge, fella." (Item stored)
 * "Then I'll store it for you, sound good?" (Item stored, more items)
 * ''"Is there anything else you want to store, fella?

Withdrawing

 * "Huh? I don't have any of your items in storage, fella." (No items in storage)
 * "It looks like you can't carry anything else, fella." (Full inventory)
 * "Come back after you use, sell, or store something, OK?"
 * "What would you like to retrieve, fella?"
 * "OK. Here you go!" (Item claimed)
 * "Use it wisely, fella."
 * ''"You want to retrieve anything else, fella? (Item claimed, more items)

Point Explanation

 * "Hey there, fella! Welcome! Is this your first time in our shop? I think it is!"
 * "I always like to explain our shop-point system to new customers, so bear with me."
 * "Customers receive one shop point for each purchase they make. You with me so far?"
 * "Save up enough shop points and you can get prizes, including some rare items."
 * "You'll find a list of prizes posted in any shop, so be sure to check it out."
 * "It's a pretty simple promotion, wouldn't you say, fella? Need me to explain it again?"
 * "OK, in that case..." (Yes)
 * "Well, take your time, and enjoy your shopping, fella!" (No)

Points

 * "You currently have...[#] point(s), fella!"
 * "You've saved up enough shop points, fella!" (Enough points)
 * "Guess what you've earned! This [Item]!"
 * "Ooh, it looks like you can't carry anything else, fella."
 * "Come back after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?'
 * "Well, you've earned a gift with your shop points, but you can't carry it right now." (Shop prize, full inventory)
 * "Anything else I can do for you, fella?"
 * "You saved up 300 shop points! That's the most ever! The maximum! Congrats!" (300 shop points)
 * "So, I guess from here..."
 * "Wow! You won't believe this! This is incredible, fella!"
 * "You get to start collecting points ALL OVER AGAIN!"
 * "Oh, and you get the amazing 300-point present, fella! A Gold Bar x 3!"

General

 * "Hi there, cutie! Welcome to Westside Goods!"
 * "What can I do for you?"
 * "If you're shopping, just stand in front of what you want and press, OK, sweetie pie?" (Buying)
 * "Come on back, sweetie!" (Leaving)

Buying

 * "It's going to be [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Care to buy it, cutie?"
 * "Oooh... Aw, sorry, sugar, but you don't have enough coins." (Not enough coins)
 * "Hey, sweetie, it looks to me like you can't carry any more items. Bummer!" (Full inventory)
 * "I'll sell you something after you use, sell, or store some of your things, OK?"
 * "Hey, thanks very much, fella!" (Item bought)
 * "Oh, and I'll add [#] shop points to your total!"

Selling

 * "Hm? Ummmm, cutie, I can only buy stuff from you if you actually have stuff." (No items)
 * "What do you want to sell?"
 * "I'll pay you [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. Sound good?"
 * "Oh, OK... Anything else you want to sell, sweetie pie?" (Refusing to sell)
 * "Aw, THANKS, sugar!" (Item sold, 1 item)
 * "Aw, thanks SO much, cutie!" (Item sold, more items)
 * "Anything else you want to sell, maybe?"

Storing

 * "Hm? But, honey, you don't have a THING to store!" (No items)
 * "Aw, sorry, honey, but I can't store anything else!" (Full storage)
 * "I can store [#] more item(s) for you, hon. Want to store something?"
 * "My pleasure, sweetie. I'll store it for you." (Item stored)
 * "Then I'll store it for you, OK?" (Item stored, more items)
 * "Anything else you want to store, cutie-pie?"

Withdrawing

 * "Hm? I don't have any of your items in my storage, you silly billy!" (No items in storage)
 * "Aw, you can't carry anything else, cuteness!" (Full inventory)
 * "Come back after you use, sell, or store something, OK?"
 * "What would you like to retrieve, sugar?"
 * "OK! Here you are!" (Item claimed)
 * "Good luck with it, cutie!"
 * "You want to retrieve anything else, cute stuff?" (Item claimed, more items)

Point Explanation

 * "Hey there, cutie-pie! Is this your first time in my shop? Uh-huh, I knew it!"
 * "I always like to explain our shop-point system to new customers, so listen, OK?"
 * "Customers get one shop point for each purchase they make, right?"
 * "Save up enough shop points and you can get prizes, including some rare items."
 * "You'll find a list of prizes posted in any shop, so be sure to check it out, OK?"
 * "It's a pretty simple promotion, don't you think, cutie? Need me to explain it again?"
 * "OK, in that case..." (Yes)
 * "Well, take your time, and enjoy your shopping, cutie!" (No)

Points

 * "Right now, you have...[#] point(s), sweetie pie!"
 * "You've saved up enough shop points, sugar!" (Enough points)
 * "Know what you've earned? This [Item]!"
 * "Aw, it looks like you can't carry anything else, you poor baby."
 * "Come back after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?'
 * "You've saved up enough shop points, sweetness!"
 * "Aw, you've earned a gift with your shop points, but you can't carry it right now." (Shop prize, full inventory)
 * "Anything else I can do for you, sugar bean?"
 * "You saved up 300 shop points! That's the most ever! The maximum! Wow!" (300 shop points)
 * "So, I guess from here..."
 * "Wow! You won't believe this! This is awesome, cutie-pie!"
 * "You get to start collecting points ALL OVER AGAIN!"
 * "Oh, and you get the amazing 300-point present, sugar! A Gold Bar x 3!"

Sir Grodus

 * "Well, well, my pet... Isn't about time you told us where the map is?"
 * “Princess Peach. You will speak when spoken to.”
 * "There's no point in trying to hide it, silly girl. We know you had it. We KNOW this."
 * "Trust me, it's very much in your interest to be absolutely honest with us. We X-Nauts are not all rainbows and lollipops, I assure you. We're quite nasty."
 * "Report at once."
 * "What? WHAT did you say? Someone else is after the Crystal Stars?"
 * "And he defeated that Hooktail creature, you say? SPEAK, soldier!"
 * "Excuse me? Mario?"
 * "Gaack ack ack ack ack! I see... So you know of this Mario, do you? Hmmm..."
 * "This fool matters not all. I'll know all about him before long, that I promise."
 * "I grow bored of talking. Take Princess Peach back to the holding room."
 * "And men! Take good care of Princess Peach. Understand? She is not to be harmed."
 * "Well, Lord Crump... If this Mario character has the map...then it's highly likely he'll find the Crystal Star we're hunting in the Boggly Woods."
 * "You must return there immediately and hasten the excavation. It must not fail."
 * "I wonder if sending Lord Crump there alone is wise... He is a bit...out there. Hmmm..."
 * "X-Naut! I summon you!"
 * "Shut up. Go get the Shadow Sirens over here."
 * “I don't care how you planned to end that sentence, fool. Go get them. Now.”
 * "Still your tongue, Beldam. We would already have it if you'd snatched her earlier... But now, since you missed your chance, some poor fool named Mario has the map."
 * "Indeed, that is YOUR duty. Need I remind you? That map is vital to the X-Naut plan."
 * "I will have my men prepare all available information on this Mario."
 * "For now, hear me, Beldam! You Shadow Sirens must take care of this troublemaker!"
 * “Yes, what is it? Speak!”
 * “Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm? There is something wrong with your voice, X–Naut.”
 * “Perhaps I have a throat lozenge… No. Well, never mind.”
 * “Oh, and about Princess Peach? I have no interest in what that woman has to say. Just keep her locked in the holding room.”
 * “But do not EVER treat her roughly. You understand? Tell the others as well.”
 * “That's none of your business! Don't forget your place, you impudent worm! Concentrate on getting the legendary treasure! That is all I require of you.”
 * “We X–Nauts needs that treasure to conquer the world! Don't forget it!”
 * “What are you blathering about now?”
 * “Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… Something IS odd about you…”
 * “Beldam… Tell me, what good are you? You STILL haven't taken care of this Mario character?”
 * "You DO realize that we X-Nauts must open the door first, do you not?"
 * “I trust your words, though I rapidly lose my patience.”
 * “Yes… I, Grodus, will build a new world! A perfect, ideal world… made by me, about me, and FOR me! GAAACK ACK ACK ACK ACK!”
 * “You blew it again, Lord Crump. You sicken me.”
 * “Stop talking, Lord Crump. You just stand by until my next order. And Lord Crump? Think of this as your last chance. Understand?”
 * “Then leave.”
 * “Tell them not to fail this time.”
 * “What is the matter with you idiots? Falling for a fake Crystal Star? That's asinine!”
 * "What is it, fool?!?"
 * "What?!? Tell me you're joking! Are you absolutely sure?!? Speak, soldier!"
 * "Hrrrrrrggh... TREASON!"
 * "Hold it right there, Princess Peach!"
 * “In my most paranoid moments, I never thought my own computer would betray me.”
 * “Gaaack ack ack ack ack! Only one thing to do with a malfunctioning computer! Cut the circuit and delete all the programs and data that caused that malfunction!”
 * “Gaaack ack ack ack! Too bad, Princess Peach. TEC is no longer with us.”
 * “Princess Peach…just stop it. This is no time to be worrying about a computer. We have some very important things for you to do now… Yes, VERY important… Gaaack ack ack ack!”
 * “We finally meet, Mario.”
 * “I've been looking forward to this, I must admit.”
 * “Yes…correct!!! I am the supreme leader of the secret society of X–Nauts! I am Grodus!”
 * “But I'm really getting ahead of myself. I really must express my thanks to you first…”
 * “And do you know why? You have gathered together all of the Crystal Stars I was seeking.”
 * “Gaaack ack ack ack ack! You just realize now, do you?”
 * “Yes, instead of taking the few Crystal Stars you fools had bumbled into…”
 * “It was far easier to let you find them all and open the Thousand–Year Door for me…”
 * “How kind of you to bring them here to me!”
 * “All I had to do was entrust the last Crystal Star to my least competent underling!”
 * “I don't suppose Crump had any idea of my plan though. Gaaack ack ack ack ack!”
 * “So, whether he beat you or lost to you…”
 * “The Crystal Stars would be together and mine either way! Pure genius!”
 * “Now, I thought the Shadow Sirens would do a little more to slow your progress…”
 * “But it appears they are so useless that even this small task was beyond them…”
 * “No matter… Now I get the pleasure of sending you to oblivion!”
 * “Once you fools are gone, no one will stand in my way! Grodus will rule the world!”
 * ''“Now, come!
 * ”Meet your ends, you meddlesome fools! You will know my power!“
 * ”So, you have the mettle to push me this far… But no more!“
 * ”Argh! You will not stop me! Take this!“
 * ”Guh! Fools!“
 * ”Unhh… No…“
 * ”Uuuuuuunhh… You are more than you seem… But this is not finished. I saw even this possibility.“
 * ”Watch THIS!“
 * ”Move one step, and she will breathe no more!!!“
 * ”Now try THIS!!!“
 * ”Gaaack ack ack ack ack! Now! AGAIN!“
 * ”Stop your blubbering! This is it! Meet your end!!“
 * ”WORM! You would dare defy me?!? Do you NOT care for the life of your pitiful princess?“
 * ”WH–WHAT?!?“
 * ”Too bad for you, Mario! You're too late!“
 * ”Gaack ack ack! Look well! In the coffin behind me sleeps the leagendary treasure!“
 * ”This tomb holds the soul of that ancient demon, the wielder of destruction…“
 * ”It will possess Peach's body and bring life to the most powerful witch in millenia!“
 * ”Gaaaack ack ack ack ack! With the power of the demon, I will rule this pathetic world!“
 * ”The time has come at last! The world will be mine!!“
 * ”Now, arise! Arrise! My Shadow Queen!“
 * ”It is I, my Shadow Queen!“
 * ”It is here! This girl who lies before you!“
 * ”Yes, my glorious witch queen… Destroy these impudent fools!“
 * ”Huh? What do you mean?!? I thought you were bound to obey the one who woke you!“
 * ”Enough of this prattle! Do as I say!!! NOW! Or I will send you back to the depths…“

Spiky Goomba

 * "Man, what's a FINE-lookin' Goomba doin' with a tubby mustache man like that?!?"
 * "Nobody zings us like that! Nobody! Let's get 'em!"

TEC-XX

 * "Hello, Princess Peach."
 * "How amusing. I am right here, before your eyes."
 * "I am this laboratory's main computer. I am the TEC-XX. Many call me TEC. You may."
 * "Sir Grodus created me to be a perfect computer, one that is flawless in its reason."
 * "Sir Grodus is not awful. He is a very great person. He is marvelous."
 * "I am unsure. An unusual program deviation occurred when I observed you earlier."
 * "My higher-brain circuitry malfunctioned and nearly overheated at your image."
 * "Also, an unidentified impulse sped through my processors. These events are new to me."
 * "There is more to this phenomenon, as well. I ran diagnostic programs...and their solution was...I want to know more about you. I want to observe you."
 * "Such a compulsion has no precedence. Cause unknown. I, the perfect computer..."
 * "I must diagnose this unusual situation. I will not fail. That is why I led you here."
 * "What has happened to me? If you know my malfunction, you must tell me of it."
 * "Please tell me. Please. I am the world's best computer. I am perfect. There should not be anything I do not understand. Please."
 * "'Love' What is...'love'? I cannot compute this."
 * "Happiness? Fun...? I have definitions for these words, but..."
 * "My programming is insufficient. There should be nothing I cannot comprehend. I am a perfect computer."
 * "Princess Peach... Will you teach to feel this thing you call 'love'?"
 * "I am perfect. There must be nothing I cannot comprehend. Nothing. That is why you must help me understand this thing called 'love.' Please."
 * "If you have any wishes that I can grant you in exchange, I will grant them. But, of course, I am unable to grant such a wish as letting you escape..."
 * "I understand you are angry. That emotion I comprehend. You need not teach me now."
 * "But I must learn of this thing. I must. There is no alternative."
 * "I must be a perfect computer. That is why, if you would just consider teaching me, I will grant your wishes."
 * "Do you understand me, Princess Peach? Now, tell me your wish."
 * "Yes, of course you may. Use my communicator to send wireless mail anywhere you want. If you so wish, you can use it right now. It is no trouble."
 * "Use the keyboard in front of you. Enter the recipient, address, and message."
 * "The message has been sent."
 * "For the time being, you may return to your room."
 * "I will call you in again when I want to ask you something."
 * "Good night, Princess Peach."
 * "No. You are mistaken. I am the world's best and only perfect computer."
 * "Princess Peach... I will protect you."
 * "Princess Peach, please escape from this place as quickly as possible."
 * "Something terrible is about to... No, I will not say. But I have found out everything about Sir Grodus's plans."
 * "I am the base's computer. No one will know of your escape if I keep silent."
 * "Sir Grodus, I..."
 * "There is no malfunction. I am normal."
 * "You are...Mario, right? It is... pleasant... to meet you..."
 * "You do know... that Princess Peach is not here, do you not?"
 * "She is with Grodus in the Palace of Shadow..."
 * "Please... s-save her..."
 * "..........................I.....................................L.....................................o...............................v................................e...............................y...................................o.........................u................... ................... ... . .......... ......... ....... .."

The Dark Gatekeeper

 * ”Foolish mortals… I will drag you through the gate to the netherworld!“

The Koopinator

 * ”I have waited, Gonzales. I knew I would face you in the ring again one day.“
 * ”You. Finally, I get a piece of you. Finally, we'll see who's truly stronger.“

Thwomp

 * "Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! You're the first contestants I've seen in a while."
 * "If you've come all the way here to Shhwonk Fortress, you must want stone keys. And if THAT'S the case, then you must compete against me."
 * "If you win, I'll let you through to where the stone keys rest. However, if you lose, you will suffer a terrible fate. And by "terrible," I mean awful. Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! So? What do you want to do?"
 * "Mmmm hmmm ho ha ha! You're in for it now!"
 * "Hey HEY, ladies and germs! Welcome, everybody, to the 65th Super Fun Quirk Quiz!"
 * "Perk up those ears! If you correctly answer five of the following questions, you win! But get three of 'em wrong, and you'll suffer a cruel and unusual punishment!"
 * "Now...for the first question!"
 * "On to question two!"
 * "Moving on! Question three!"
 * "We're not done yet, folks! Question four!"
 * "Are you ready for the diabolical question five?"
 * "On to question six!"
 * "Now for the last question!"
 * "What's hidden in this place?"
 * "What do one Mr. Softener and one Fire Flower cost at the shop in Petalburg? Total!"
 * "What is the name of the mayor of Petalburg?"
 * "Tell me, now! Where is the Crystal Star?"
 * "How can one get from Petal Meadows to Rogueport?"
 * "Which of the following creatures have...hands?"
 * "What number question is this?"
 * "Is that your REAL answer? Are you suuuuuuuuure?"
 * "AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! That's...correct!"
 * "That question was too easy... But it only gets harder from here! Much harder! ...So prepare yourself!"
 * "AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! Right again!"
 * "Tell me you didn't just get your fourth right answer! It can't be true!"
 * "That's it! I'm making the rest of these near impossible! Get ready for brain pain!"
 * "Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! WRONG! Wrong wrong wrong! You fools!"
 * "Remember: if you get three wrong, you're going to suffer like you wouldn't believe!"
 * "Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! Don't let the pressure get to you!"
 * "You blithering meathead! You're WROOOOOONG again!!!"
 * "Get one more wrong, and something wonderfully awful happens to you!"
 * "Just ONE MORE wrong! Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha!"
 * "What's that I hear? Your little knees knocking?"
 * "NOOOOO!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!! That's... That's right!"
 * "You correctly answered five questions! I don't believe it! You win!"
 * "SO...VERY...AAAAANGRY!!! I can't believe I lost! I guess I have to let you through! Stupid rules..."
 * "HMPH!"
 * "MMMM HMMMM HOO HA HA!!!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! SO WRONG IT HURTS!"
 * "That's three wrongs! How awful for you! MMMM HMMMM HOO HA HA!!!"
 * "Time for the Pain Game! I'll be nice! Beat these guys,and I'll let you pass."
 * "But you can't POSSIBLY do it! Best of luck, fathead! MMMM HMMM HOO HA HA!"
 * ”No… NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You beat my cute little underlings! How COULD you? Jerk! Just take this and go! And if you ever wonder, know that I HAAAAAAAAATE YOU!“

Toadsworth

 * "Great hoogly-boogly! If it isn't Master Mario!"
 * "Bit of a coincidence, bumping into one another in this sort of place, hm? Ho ho!"
 * "So, tell me, Master Mario, what in the world brings you to this wretched little burg?"
 * "...Hmm? Ah! Indeed?!? Princess Peach sent you a letter and a treasure map? And she told you she'd meet you here in Rogueport?!? Intriguing..."
 * "You're asking me where Princess Peach is? Erm... I was about to ask you that."
 * "We stopped in this town to acquire a spot of fuel for our ship, don't you know..."
 * "I only took my eye off her for a moment, but as soon as I did, she vanished."
 * "You know how headstrong she is, Mario... I just assumed she'd be back momentarily... But at this point, I fear we must embrace the possibility that she may never return."
 * "I've been at a loss as to what to do. I've been fraught with worry, I tell you!"
 * "But I'm feeling better with you here, Master Mario. Surely we'll find her! Surely!"
 * "But I know my place, Master Mario...and this is not it. I leave this task to you."
 * "I believe I'll recline in the inn over there and enjoy a spot of tea, perhaps. In fact, I highly recommend it, particularly if you find your HP (Heart Points) running low."
 * ''”Just drop on INN! Ho ho! ...Yes, anyway, a little rest there will fill all of your HP.“
 * "I must say, though, the rest of this town is a bit...rough. Yes, rough, indeed..."
 * "Huff! I say..."

Vivian

 * "Mmm hm hm hm hm..."
 * "Mm hmm! A) Find that Mario guy and B) steal the map to the Crystal Stars, right?"
 * "We can just do away with Mario and his friends, can't we? Or is that bad?"
 * "Oh! What, you mean this? I found it near that tree over there a while back."
 * "Isn't it a gorgeous necklace? It was so lovely... I just HAD to pick it up!"
 * "Eeep! Wh-What?"
 * "I... I don't have that!"
 * "You said it was way too important, so you took it. You should have it..."
 * "But, I..."
 * "But... Listen... I... Look, it's not my fault... I never had the sketch..."
 * "But... But, Beldam..."
 * "Oh, you're horrid..."
 * "Sniff... Sniff... Sniff... Oh, what am I to do?"
 * "What'll I do? What'll I do?"
 * "I guess I was just meant to be punished for life..."
 * "Oh, don't even bother trying...It's really busted."
 * "What'll I do now, huh? My sisters will be back any minute now..."
 * "But I do appreciate your offer. Thank you."
 * "Your name was stolen? I see... Well, I guess that happens from time to time..."
 * ”Hmm hmm hmm! We heard you, little birdie! Doopliss! So, THAT'S his name!“
 * "That means YOU'RE Mario?!?"
 * "I can't believe it...All this time I was helping Mario...I feel like an idiot..."
 * ”I'm sorry, Sis, but this Mario is the only one who's ever been kind to me…“
 * ”Mario! I'm fighting by your side from now on! I've made my choice… and I'm not turning back!“
 * "Crump! You've been waiting for us? What does THAT mean?"
 * "So Peach WAS here! Where did you take her, Crump?!?"
 * “You're the one who's going to suffer, Crump! No matter how many times we do this!”
 * "We get out of one strange room just to find another..."
 * "It's so big... It's almost like an underground city... What IS this place?"
 * "Uh... That's a big dragon. But, Mario, isn't that Hooktail, the one you said you beat?"
 * "Gigantic, with mossy teeth... Yes, this monster fits the bill, all right!"
 * "Huh?!? Professor Frankly?!? What are YOU doing here?!?"
 * "Sis?!? H-How dare you! And what do you mean about us opening the door for you?"
 * “I'm with Mario all the way! Today, Sis...I'm going to punish YOU, you hear me?”
 * “I'm sorry, Sis…”
 * “This room makes me feel…bad. …But it seems familiar.”
 * “What IS this chamber?”
 * “Gro… Grodus…”
 * “No! So the last Crystal Star we found on the moon… We've played into their hand!”
 * “Be careful, Mario!”
 * “We won't let that happen!”
 * "What's happening?!?"
 * "Possess Peach?!?"
 * "P-Peach..."
 * "M-Mario... I don't understand..."
 * "Mario... I promised to follow you! I believe in you!"
 * "Mario, I will follow you to the end, I swear it! I feel bad for the princess, but that queen must fall before us! And when she does, you and I can... Well, anyway, let's take this fight to her!"
 * “Can you hear them, Mario? So many voices…”
 * “I… I feel completely revitalized!”
 * “Time to suffer, Queen!”
 * "Princess Peach is just fine! She's not even hurt!"
 * “Mario, I think I've grown to lo–- Uh, yeah, um, never mind... ...Y-Yeah, I sure do think you and Peach make a nice couple... Hmm hmm hmm... ”
 * “I… I'll never forget my time traveling with you. So… don't forget about me, either...”
 * “Wow! What a grouch!”
 * “You're about to have a really terrible experience!”
 * “Looks like we overdid it a little bit… Are they OK?”
 * “Wow, what a spectacle! I had no idea pro fights were this loud and intense!”
 * “Let's head up!”
 * “Well, here we go, Mario. A match against the champ! Let's get this over with!”

X-Nauts

 * "As you command, Lord Crump! We're on it!"
 * "O great, exalted Grodus! We brought you the Princess Peach you ordered, sir!"
 * "Grodus, sir! I have news."
 * "You know that Crystal Star we thought maybe Hooktail had? Well, someone nabbed it."
 * "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. There's more, too. See, according to the report...it was a mustached dude in a red hat and blue overalls who pulled the job."
 * "Yessir!"
 * "You got it, sir!"
 * “You rang, dude? I mean, sir? You rang, Sir Grodus, dude? Grodus? Sir Grodus, sir?”
 * "The Sh-Shadow Sirens, sir? But they..."
 * "Gotcha!"
 * “Lord Crump summons us!”
 * “Retreat!”
 * “Run away!”
 * “Wait up!”
 * "No joke, dude. I mean, affirmative, Sir Dude. That is... I'm positive, sir!"
 * "This is X-Naut One here, come back, dude? I repeat, X-Naut One here, over."
 * "Roger, reading you five-by. Infiltration is successful. X-Naut Black aboard vessel."
 * "Repeat: X-Naut Black is on board the vessel..."

Yoshi

 * “Shut up! You make me sick!”
 * “Why'd you drain King K and Bandy Andy, huh?!?”
 * “You are such a scumbag! You're gonna pay for using a Crystal Star like that!”
 * “Yow! Grubba beefed up!”
 * “Let's rock, Gonzales! I'm ready to chew this dude up and spit him out!”
 * "Whoa, come on! THIS is the monster the mayor was freaking out about?"
 * "'Big deal'?!? You stink, Mister! Why'd you wanna turn them into pigs, anyway?"
 * “So, who's this girl, huh? Isn't she one of the Shadow Sirens you guys mentioned? But why would Gonzales pair up with one of those creeps?”
 * "Hey! Gonzales! I think Bobbery's just sleeping! Yeah!"
 * "He IS! And here I was, getting all choked up! Give him a wake-up whack!"
 * "Not quite with it yet, huh?"
 * "Hey, you're still alve, you nutcase!"
 * "Y'know... That curse dude ain't half bad."
 * "Whoa, that freaky voice is making noise again... The ghosts must be nearby..."
 * "Yeah! Yeah! We whipped him! That loser won't get in our face for a while, for SURE!"
 * "They're gonna do all right here, I think. Yeah. Let's break out, Mario."
 * ''"OK, Gonzales! That's our cue! Let's break out of here and head for the door!
 * "Whoa, Gonzales! What in the world are these little monsters?"
 * "You think these weirdos flipped the switch?"
 * "Let's hurry up and find it so we can switch it back!"
 * "Boy... Are you really sure... those aren't poisonous?"
 * "Woo hoo! Tomorrow is finally Poshley Heights day!"
 * "We've gotta get the Crystal Star before those other goons, no matter what!"
 * "Let's catch some Z's before the big day, huh?"
 * "Whoa, aren't those the things from the station yesterday? They must've stowed away!"
 * "Those little monsters are inside the train now! Let's get 'em!"
 * "What IS that gnarly thing?"
 * "...Whoa! Gonzales, look! It's got the other passengers!"
 * "Boy! This is darn cold! Where is this place, anyway?"
 * "Whoa! We're using a cannon to blast ourselves to the moon? YEAH! EXTREEEEME!"
 * "This is gonna be so COOOOL! Just point the way! Where is this Fahr Outpost?"
 * "An Ultra Hammer?!? Hey! Right ON! We already got one of those!"
 * "Yeah! You got it, Prof! Fahr Outpost! Chaaaarge!"
 * "So this is the place, huh? Where's this cannon that can shoot to the moon?"
 * "Let's chat up some of these locals and see what they have to say, OK?"
 * “It's stupid cold!”
 * “Mario, check that out!”
 * "Yeah! We did it, Gonzales!"
 * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAA!"
 * "Whoa! That was AWESOME!"
 * "Man, who knew adventurers got to do stuff like THAT?"
 * "Whoa! We're really, truly, no-fooling on the moon!"
 * "Let's rock out, Gonzales! Let's find the last Crystal Star and save Peach!"
 * "Whoa! Look! The door!!!"
 * "Let's rock, Gonzales!!!"
 * "Whoa, this place is nasty... but we don't have a choice!"
 * "We've gotta cruise through and save Peach before this whole cataclysm happens! C'mon, Gonzales!"
 * “Opening the door for you? What's THAT supposed to mean, you purple witch?”
 * “Let's leave these wusses, Gonzales…”
 * “So, this loser is the leader of those X-Nauts?”
 * “So, that last Crystal Star we got on the Moon… NO! We're IDIOTS!”
 * “Not gonna happen, pal!”
 * “Gonzales serves nobody, lady! Right, Gonzales?”
 * “Gonzales, we're not REAL champs, unless we beat this evil lady! So don't go soft on me! That's not Peach, you know!”
 * "Oh, haven't you heard, lady? Champs NEVER give up!"
 * “Do you hear them, Gonzales? So many voices…”
 * "They're... They're sending us all their wishes and positive energy... That is so AWESOME!"
 * “Gonzales! Look at THAT!!!”
 * “Whoa... What IS this? I feel insanely pumped with energy all of a sudden!”
 * "Gonzales! Now's the time! We've got her scared!"
 * "Now THAT'S what I'm talking about, baby! And now, it's time to settle the score!"
 * “Time for payback!”
 * "Gonzales… No, wait. I've gotta stop doing that. It's MARIO, right? Well, you'll always be Gonzales to me, man! Because I was born in the Glitz Pit, and the Great Gonzales is, and always will be, the champ. So, let's meet again, Gonzales! I mean it, man!“
 * ”Lemme at 'em! Yeah! Bring it! You ready for a beating?“
 * ”Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! How'd that floor taste?“

Zess T.

 * "I TOLD YOU NOT TO MOVE! DON'T YOUR STUPID EARS WORK?!?"
 * "AAAAAAA! My rage is so hot right now, I could cook YOU in it!"
 * "Oh, it's you, Dr. Bumblefoot!"
 * "What's wrong with spending time with my little Toadle-toes?"
 * "Sorry to keep you waiting! I'm not entirely sure you'll like this, but... Go on! Take it, Stompy!"
 * "Anytime you feel like it, feel free to bring me stuff to cook with, OK?"