The 'Shroom:Issue 117/Critic Corner

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Director's Notes
Written by: Hey guys, welcome to Critic Corner's Decemberbration Celebratory Celebration Celebratathon! Here we have what's pretty much a standard issue but with a concerted effort to have a vaguely common theme! Wow!! Festive!!! On another front, I asked for donations last month in memory of to send to Tommy Thompson Park Bird Research Station and I am proud to say that we reached our pledged goal and exceeded it to a complete total of $1000. Thank you everyone who helped out! Thank you for everyone who voted my Half-Baked Reviews to be Critic Corner's Section of the Month again! As always, thank you for reading and be sure to vote!

Lord Bowser's Inside Story
Written by: Greetings, 'Shroom readers. This is Lord Bowser here with an extra-special edition of Lord Bowser's Inside Story! Last issue, I promised to cover a notorious postgame challenge; since this is the special Christmas issue, I’ll be fulfilling that promise in a big way by forcing myself to witness all of the """""fun""""" postgame challenges in the ever so divisive Super Paper Mario! Please note that I will be merciless throughout my review of this game, which will include heavy swearing, so if you are offended by such things, look away now while you’re still safe.

Character Review
Written by: Dr. Freezegood The Yoshi series is always different from the main Mario series, and for the most part our favourite dinosaur always encounters a wide variety of different enemies to fight than our usual heroes. The ice world is no exception, and for our Christmas Character Review™, I have decided to review the skiing monstrosity, Dr. Freezegood. I enjoy snowmen being the villains in games, a small twist on a child's classic snow-filled dreams, and the design for the Dr. Freezegoods is certainly unique. This is definitely the brainchild of the designer who sits in the corner of the studio shouting random things, because no sane person could come up with a fez-wearing, skiing snowman, and no I don't think this is particularly a bad thing. World 4 of Yoshi's Island didn't have any interesting enemies, but World 5 just chucked them at you. That is where my praise ends, however. Other than that, Dr. Freezegoods have nothing going for them. It's difficult to really class them as enemies, as they're motionless unless on a ski slope, so it seems more like you're in their way, rather than them purposefully trying to injure Yoshi. They end up being a mere annoyance due to them hogging the ski lifts. Their appearance in Yoshi's New Island has them doing the exact same thing. Their name also bugs me, Dr. Freezegood should be the name of a boss character, not a generic enemy, and in all honesty a snowman boss in Yoshi's Island would have been amazing, so it's annoying that this was overlooked. Dr. Freezegood sounds great on paper, but in practise is severely disappointing. Snowmen enemies are still entertaining, but I can't wait until Spring for this one to melt away.

Meta Knight's Boss Battle Reviews
Written by:

Hello everyone and welcome to this month's boss battle review! It's the holiday season, so naturally everyone is going to have winter/Christmas themed sections (I totally wasn't hypnotized by Anton to make mine Christmas themed). So let's take a look at a boss in Super Mario Galaxy. This boss is located in the Freezeflame Galaxy. It's time to take a look at Baron Brrr! Baron Brrr is found in the mission of, unsurprisingly, The Frozen Peak of Baron Brrr. In this mission, Mario must hone his skills with the Ice Flower to scale the large mountain. At the peak of the mountain, Baron Brrr awaits, and there will be a cutscene where he shoots ice balls at you. After his introduction, the fight begins. His attacks are generic. All he does is throw ice balls at you, and they're incredibly easy to dodge. I like how you have to actually get to him first, but it doesn't provide a whole lot of challenge. For first time players, getting up to the top of the mountain is probably more difficult than actually making it to Baron Brrr himself. Anyway, jumping across platforms is easy, and getting the Ice Flower to wall jump up to him is simple as well. I do have to give this boss a little bit of credit. The whole level has allowing the player to get better at skating, and using the Ice Flower, so it's nice that this fight also utilizes that for consistency. When you get to the top of the mountain you can start dishing out damage to Baron Brrr. Unfortunately, like many bosses in the game, Baron Brrr's weak point is obvious. The same methods to defeat a Li'l Brr are also used to defeat the Baron. I'm nowhere near expecting a boss as intricate as something like ''Shadow of the Colossus, but at the same time I don't want the bosses to be incredibly easy either. Baron Brrr does hit the ground to make snow try to push you off the edge, but that's about the only thing he does that differs from a regular Li'l Brr. Overall, Baron Brrr isn't awful, but he isn't spectacular either. His attacks are easy to dodge, and there isn't really anything to get an adrenaline rush going. At the same time, he does have a sense of familiarity that more casual players can understand and get past so as to not get frustrated. I'm going to give Baron Brrr the cold shoulder, but that doesn't mean he's the worst of the worst.

Marioverse Reviews
Written by: Hello ya’ll! Christmas is tomorrow! Merry Christmas everyone! After Christmas comes a brand new 2017! I hope ya’ll enjoy it, since only eleven days after January 1st, the Nintendo Switch will have it’s presentation! I am so excited, it’s not too far from now. So hope you guys enjoy your holidays, and thank you for taking time to read “Marioverse Reviews”. I am so grateful for that! Anyways, I am going to review a game that released in November. That’s right, it’s Mario Party: Star Rush! Mario Party: Star Rush released on November 4 in North America. It has a score of 68 on Metacritic. That means the world think it’s a mediocre game, and I might or might not agree. In the next two paragraphs, I’m going to explain what I like about the game, and what I don’t like about the game. So in other words, you’re going to see my Princess Peach side, and my Bowser side. Alright. When I first got the game, I thought it would be amazing. Turns out, I was right (and wrong). Once I first played the game, I played on the first world in Toad Scramble, and actually, it was fun. It had a fun gameplay, and it was more fun playing it with my friend. As of now, I already beat all three worlds in Toad Scramble. The Minigames were also fun, even though I didn’t play them much yet. In fact, I haven't got to Mario Shuffle, Rhythm Recital, Challenge Tower, Boo’s Block Party, or Character Museum yet. But I can tell you that I like Balloon Bash, because it makes the original Mario Party into a whole new concept, by adding balloons! Other than that, it feels like an original Mario Party to me. Bwa ha ha! Now it’s time for Bowser to take over my head! Okay, first things first, I don’t like Coinathon. I played it once before, and believe me, I will never play it again. It has this dumb gameplay where you play minigames, and earn as much coins as you can. Also, this game made me smile less than when I played Mario Party: Island Tour. It didn't have as much things to do. Mario Party: Island Tour was packed with things to do, like Bowser Tower, and plus, it had a lot more boards in the party mode. I know Nintendo was trying to make a new concept, but I just wish they added more to it. Maybe, like add more modes and fun things to do. When I was playing Toad Scramble, it only played three Boss Minigames. It felt like I was doing them all the time. It would be nice if they had more Boss Minigames. Also, Toad Scramble and Balloon Bash almost feel the same to me. It almost feels like the same gameplay. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me. Review Time: Pros: Toad Scramble; Minigames; Balloon Bash; Fun Gameplay (on some modes) Cons: Coinathon; Didn’t have many things to do; Not much Boss Minigames; Toad Scramble and Balloon Bash feel the same ConclusionI would give this game a 6/10. Not bad, but I wouldnt fully recommend it to anyone unless they really want it. Summary: Toad Scramble, Minigames, and Balloon Bash was fun; The Game has fun Gameplay on those three modes;; Coinathon could've been better; The game seemed to have little things to do; There was barely any Boss Minigames, making them boring overtime; Toad Scramble and Balloon Bash feels like it almost has the same gameplay. Hope I didn't upset you with my Bowser side. It’s like the only way to vent out my anger about the things I dislike about the game. Well, I hope ya’ll enjoy your holidays, and I will have hopefully a more positive review for you next month! Rosalina1999 out.

Movie Reviews
Written by: Finding Dory

Christmas is just on the horizon, and coldness is settling in, and it's a common-known fact that there is nothing colder than the sea in England, so this issue's review takes us under the waves for Finding Dory, Pixar's latest film. The plot follows Dory as she attempts to reunite with her parents, who she only remembers after getting knocked unconscious and having a flashback. Marlin and Nemo join Dory as they travel to the Jewel of Morro Bay, where Dory grew up, however, after an incident with a carnivorous squid, Dory gets separated from the group and must rely on Hank to help her, whilst Marlin and Nemo attempt to find her. The Marlin and Nemo parts of the plot are quite boring and devoid of humour, and whilst the Dory and Hank portions fare better, overall they don't really stand out. The characters aren't particularly interesting either. Dory, Marlin, Nemo and Hank are the only ones who get major screen-time, and whilst Dory's backstory is interesting, and the use of flashbacks is utilized well, Hank is a massive missed opportunity. A backstory for him is constantly teased, and yet nothing comes to fruition. The other new characters aren't interesting at all, Destiny simply bumps into things, and serves as more backstory, whilst Bailey just complains. Meanwhile all of your favourite characters from the previous film like: Crush, the seagulls, and the Tank Gang are relegated to mere cameos. Surprisingly Bruce is passed up in favour of a cameo from the whale who helped out in the first film. Finding Nemo had lots of moments where there was tension and threat, this film only has one, with that being the squid chase, and it ends up a rip-off of Bruce's chase from the first film, complete with the gang escaping from a ship that ends up falling down a crevice, and this squid is probably the film's main villain, despite only having five minutes of screen time, as no other character actually displays any villainous traits. Whilst Finding Dory does have some heart-warming moments, it tries to appeal to kids too much by devolving into pure nonsense. Destiny and Bailey, a whale shark and beluga respectively, escape from the facility, and none of the staff bats any form of eyelid; and the film culminates in Hank helping Dory back to the ocean, by driving a truck. Yes, a film about underwater creatures ends with a truck chase on land. What's even more surprising is the stance the film takes on mental and physical disabilities. The main character suffers from short-term memory loss, and this leads to her getting laughed at by children, or chastised by Hank and Marlin. Don't believe me? The only reason that the plot even properly begins is because Marlin doesn't want to spend the day with Dory after she forgets something again. Destiny is also played for laughs, as her short-sightedness means she constantly bumps into thing; Becky and a sea lion, both who clearly have something wrong with them, are exploited by the completely mentally healthy sea lions. Bailey is the worst offender as he falls into the stereotype that many mental health patients face, in which people just think they're making their condition up, and as it turns out, Bailey is. I can't say I was particularly waiting for a sequel to Finding Nemo, but when I heard there was one coming, it did get me slightly excited, but this sequel has none of the Pixar magic that the original did, and it just comes off as a cash-grab. As a kid's film, Finding Nemo did everything right: entertain kids and their parents alike, but here, Finding Dory will only entertain children. I was incredibly disappointed by this movie, and with many Pixar films getting sequels, like The Incredibles, I am a bit worried that these will flop as well.

Yoshi876's Monthly Thoughts
by: Hello readers and welcome to my Monthly Thoughts! Here, I give a run down on the 10 news stories that interested me the most in the past month. Now, the things that will likely interest me are disasters and similar things; politics; and scientific discoveries, particularly in the fields of astronomy and biology. This issue we'll be covering news from November 13 - December 17, 2016. 10. Young Americans struggle with fake / biased news - A report from Stanford University studied young Americans, and I'm talking middle-school to college ages, and found out that not all of them are great at identifying good news sources. The study found that 40% of high-school students were happy to accept a picture and headline of deformed daisies as proof of toxic conditions around Fukushima, despite no valid source of location tag. 2/3 of middle-school students failed to identify a post by a bank manager about finance being biased. This is an interesting study given the rise of fake news recently, but the study does irritate me, as whilst it gives out these figures, it only says 7,804 students from all kinds of school were tested, so the true figures are obscured. Seems slightly ironic for a story on fake news. 9. Shopping plans for the elderly - Supermarkets could be made better for those over 60 soon, as they could become more social. After research from the University of Herefordshire found that elderly people were becoming disenfranchised by supermarkets aiming their deals at families, plans could be drawn up to introduce a checkout queue so they have the time to speak with their till operator, and also a sitting area. In a country where social care funding is being slashed, whilst this isn't the overall solution, it's a step in the right direction to help the elderly keep in social contact and enjoy their days, instead of being isolated at home. 8. The reason why the Mars lander crashed - This was the question on everyone's lips for a while, and for the scientists involved in the project the answer was infuriating. The onboard computer misjudged its altitude, and so it deployed its parachute prematurely, and was presumably destroyed. This isn't the first time that missions to Mars to look for life failed, since the 1960s, numerous attempts have ended in failure. 7. Cherokee nation legalize same-sex marriage - Stories of many countries allowing same-sex couples to marry have been happening for ages now, so they don't usually pique my interest, bar an off-hand "guess you caught up with times" comment, but this one shocked me. The Cherokee people never struck me as ones who particularly cared about this issue, but their Attorney General, Todd Hembree, said that not allowing it violated their constitution of treating all of its citizens equally. 6. Squirrel attack - Chicago councillor Howard Brookins has a problem with squirrels eating through dustbin lids. Well, he probably has a new problem with them now that one charged through his bicycle, whilst he was riding it, causing him to fall off and fracture his skull. Brookins will survive, and his campaign against squirrels will probably restart with a whole new amount of vigour. 5. Giraffes are put on endangered list - Giraffes face a "silent extinction" it emerged earlier this month. The news took many by surprise, including conservationists, and the reasons given are habitat loss, civil unrest, and hunting. With many of this planet's beautiful creatures dying, it would be a shame to lose such a unique creature like giraffes. 4. 5p charge on plastic bags has led to positive environmental impact - I was slightly critical of this policy when it came about, due to a probable laziness of having to lug plastic bags with me when I shop, instead of grabbing new ones, but now my views have done a U-turn. For one, it's only 5p, so it's not going to bankrupt me if I forget to bring them with me every so often, but also, I can see the positive effect it's had. Whilst other beach waste has increased in some areas, abandoned plastic bags have dropped drastically. And that's even better news for the turtles, who can mistake plastic bags as jellyfish and block their digestive track by eating them [plastic bags]. Whilst other beach waste still affects marine life, at least this one obstacle is out of their way. 3. Arrests on journalist at a 30-year high - As an aspiring journalist, this figure is worrying. Whilst I live in a country that allows free speech, my heart goes out to those who are simply doing their jobs and face getting arrested for it. China is still among some of the worst, and the reason they arrest journalists is because they cover protests against the government or human rights abuses, it's sickening for me that people are arrested for this, and not for actually abusing human rights. 2. Anne Frank may not have been betrayed - New research suggests that the officers who arrested Anne Frank and her family, during the Nazi rule of Germany, weren't even officers who dealt with rounding up Jews. One of them focused on theft, whilst the other one investigated ration fraud, a crime that someone living in the building where Anne Frank was hiding was guilty of. Other evidence is pointing this way as well, with one of the most interesting being that the officers were there for two hours, which is much longer than what was usually spent by those tasked with rounding up Jews took to do so. 1. Metropolitan police investigated regarding homophobia - The Stephen Port murders, or 'Grindr Killings', were sickening to begin with, a man luring men in, and then drugging them, raping them, and then murdering them and dumping their bodies, what's even worse is for this to come about afterwards. I have listened to various news sources on this, and it's either homophobia or sheer incompetence on the Met's part. Victim's families, LGBT police officers, PinkNews were all raising concerns of a serial killer, and they were all assured that it wasn't the case. The third murder was deemed "not suspicious", despite the body being found in the exact graveyard that the second one was found in, it should also be noted that this graveyard was 500 metres away from the killer's flat, and that'd he'd been interviewed in regards to the first murder, which he even reported to the police (should also be noted that the first victim's body was dumped outside of the killer's apartment building). Whilst the first murder is understandable, as the killer said that the victim had just suffered a drug overdose, and there was no indication of foul play, it is annoying to know that had they looked at the killer's internet search history they would have found searches regarding torture, rape, and murder. The second murder is when I get annoyed, surely the fact that the body was found 500 metres away from the first, and was also that of a gay man, should have raised some sort of flag. The third murder is infuriating, the coroner said that they believed that the death wasn't suspicious, and the family said that the suicide note didn't match their son's handwriting, and all of these concerns were quashed. The fourth victim did not have to die, and in my view the third one was also preventable, and arguably the third. I don't know if it was homophobia that resulted in shoddy detective work, but people should lose their jobs or get demoted for this.

[[File:AntonHalfBakedLogo.png]]
Written By: Heya guys, for this month’s issue of Anton’s Half-Baked Reviews I’m gonna be trying out some Decembery holiday things. Now, by going in to chat and begging people to give me things to review I realized there’s not really too much easily accessible to be that would fit the theme or are things I haven’t already tried. The conclusion that I’ve drawn from this is that people should start mailing me packages full of things they want me to try out so I don’t have to go out and find it, or find the ingredients to make it. I will also accept fanmail of all kinds as well as risqué pictures.

Drink Eggnog
So first up was the most easiest one because as soon as Thanksgiving dinner hits the table every store is putting up their Christmas displays, and this includes shifting out the fancy fruit loaf display cases with eggnog. I set out to do some Christmas shopping at the largest mall in the region because it has H&M and LUSH and a nice food court and a couple pokéstops. I had a list in mind, and also on my phone just to be sure, of gifts to get everyone and whaddya know that absolutely everything on my list was either not in stock or not exact enough to make me confident in my purchase (except a LUSH gift card) leaving me feel like I should’ve just stayed home and bought everything on Amazon from the comfort of wearing nothing but pajama shorts. After moaning about this to people in chat while I shoved bbq pork and sesame chicken down my throat while spinning a pokéstop around a few times and buying myself a really cool jacket--complete with unnecessary zippers--at Forever 21 I left the mall to go to several grocery stores nearby to find eggnog. To my amazement, but not my surprise, eggnog was unreasonably difficult to find. After looking through several stores to find it, I finally settled on where I should have gone in the first place: Wegman’s. I can always trust Wegman’s to have everything I need--from a freshly baked cookie to go along with an italian sub, to a family pack of brownie bites, to artisan salami, to fresh mozzarella balls at the olive bar--because Wegman’s is an amazing store with everything in it. After flipping through the pokéstop at the Wegman’s clocktower I went straight to the dairy section. No luck. I then cruised to the rest of the juices. No luck. I paced back and forth along the entire refrigeration wall in the back. No luck. Panicked, I looked online to see where eggnog would be located on their website’s shopping page to give me a better idea and it told me that it wasn’t available at my location. Conceding defeat, I went to just go buy myself a fancy meat-cheese-cracker tray to eat all by myself and lo and behold the eggnog was all where that stuff was for some reason. Delighted in my find, I grabbed a cheap quart and made my way home to triumphantly try out this holiday standard. Worst mistake in my life. As I poured it into a glass I noticed that it was a bit thicker than what I imagined it to be. I thought nothing of it, since it smelled kinda minty or something even though I know it’s just eggs and cream and whatever. I took a sip and it tasted a bit like how it smelled to start, I have no real idea just a feeling of “I should be drinking this around Christmas”. Not long after my mouth clenched and a shiver went down my spine. It was like drinking cold pancake batter and my body was rejecting it. Writing it off as just a new thing, I took another sip hoping it would be something to get used to. It wasn’t. I could feel my body turn against me, rightfully so as I had betrayed it. To attempt to salvage the situation as well as my purchase I added 2% milk to it to thin it a bit and it helped, but it still tasted like a mistake. I then went the extra step and added rum to it and it helped a bit more. I then just had rum which was better. I then got some Kahlua and added that to more rum and then added milk and put the eggnog away and instead enjoyed myself a White Cuban, my favorite cocktail that I’d recommend if you like chocolate milk, alcohol that doesn’t burn your throat too much, and getting drunk faster than you’re really anticipating (as long as you’re above the legal drinking age, of course~), and I then had enough of those until I my body forgot what eggnog tasted and felt like. Rating: No real-world equivalent. Explanation: I’ve never encountered a Chex Mix piece that made my body jerk and spasm in a frantic attempt to understand what just happened to it. Anything that I did to make eggnog taste better is a characteristic belonging solely to that additive and I cannot rightfully attribute any bonus points from them to this sorry excuse for the sludge scraped out from underneath a community waffle iron at a budget hotel’s continental breakfast at 9:58am.

Drink Glühwein
Glühwein is some like red wine thing with orange peels and spices like cinnamon in it. This seemed out of reach for me so I decided to treat you guys to a festive holiday gift of another surprise collab with. 18:18 Anton{Politoed} doomy 18:18 Anton{Politoed} tell me some [December Holiday] things to try out and review 18:18 Arcanine anton 18:18 Arcanine uuhhh 18:19 Arcanine idk any 18:19 Arcanine gluhwein 18:19 Anton{Politoed} >>>:[ 18:19 Arcanine i neveer tried that 18:19 Arcanine kinda wanted to 18:19 shoutmon its everywhere here 18:19 Arcanine odx 18:19 Anton{Politoed} that's not too accessible to me 18:19 Arcanine ofc 18:19 shoutmon i will buy some and throw it really hard 18:19 shoutmon towards you 18:19 Anton{Politoed} 22 send me some 18:19 Anton{Politoed} or or or or or 22 18:20 Anton{Politoed} you try it 18:20 Anton{Politoed} and we can make the review a collab 18:20 shoutmon i dont really want to 18:20 Anton{Politoed} !!!! 18:20 Anton{Politoed} you gotta 18:20 shoutmon its really expensive to ship things to america 18:20 shoutmon like 18:20 shoutmon really 18:20 Anton{Politoed} you try it and then review it 18:20 Anton{Politoed} or edo you can 18:21 shoutmon i dont really want to try it 18:21 Gabumon uh 18:22 Gabumon the point of Glühwein is to be drunk while its still hot 18:22 Gabumon I dont think itll reach you in time 18:22 Anton{Politoed} edo do a review of it for me and assign it a chex mix rating 18:23 Gabumon I'm not super fond of it 18:23 Anton{Politoed} so would you say it's a breadstick or rye chip 18:24 Gabumon probably a breadstick Rating: Breadstick.png Breadstick Explanation: “I’m not super fond of it”

Eat Gingerbread
I initially was just going to skip this one because the only gingerbread I could find were inside of gingerbread house kits, and I’m not really going to buy one of those to bite a wall and be done with it. So here I am at work just working and stuff when suddenly some lady comes in with a big thing of flowers and a plate of cookies and chocolates. Thinking I’ve died and have gone to heaven, this lady then speaks up and says it’s a gift of thanks for our deli donating to their group all the time so I was like “wow sure thanks” and immediately started eating everything before anyone else noticed that there were cookies. As I’m shoveling chocolate covered pretzels and sugar cookies into my face I noticed a recognizable figure: a gingerbread man. At this moment my coworker came up and was all “oh we have cookies?” and grabbed the gingerbread man. Not wanting to miss my chance, I snatched it right out of his hand and plead my case. “Just a leg, please, I have to have it.” And so I did, and that’s all I had. One gingerbread man leg. It honestly wasn’t much of anything to note. It tasted like a graham cracker and had the stiffness of one, but wasn’t as crumbly. It also had this slight flavor of like standing at the entryway of a grocery store in the middle of fall, you know what I mean, like, when they put out all of their bundles of cinnamon and whatever and you can just taste it and have to hold your breath so you don’t choke on your way to pick up some sandwich meats. Rating:  Corn Chex piece from Turtle Chex Mix Explanation: This chex piece purports to be different and and sweeter and all kinds of fancy but in reality all it is is a basic corn chex piece with sugary glaze slopped on top of it. If I wanted a graham cracker treat I’d get smores because that way at least I won’t get weird looks when I make it into a chocolate sandwich. The plus side of this is that no one will know if it ever goes stales because it just already tastes like that.

I was also going to review the classic Christmas film Die Hard but no one else wanted to watch it with me and I was feeling too lonely to watch it by myself. Also, tell me what to review next! Here’s my Steam Inventory filled with games I haven’t played for some ideas, but things you can tell me to do can also be movies, shows, physical actions, trying new foods, music, literally anything and I’ll cover it eventually if it’s not too ridiculous. Just send me a message here on my talk page or PM it to me on the forum. Don't like what I have to say? That's fine, and probably bound to happen because I'm putting no effort into really learning about my subjects! We at Critic Corner will welcome your alternate review of it as a new section for the next issue!