Zess T.

"Want me to cook something for you, Clumsy Crush-a-lot?"

- Zess T.

Zess T. is a grumpy, fifty-five-year-old Toad chef in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door who resides in Rogueport. Her name is a pun on the word "zesty," which, in a way, describes her personality, as well as being a reference to her cooking skills. Like Tayce T., she is an expert at cooking, and even featured a similar backstory involving cakes and a deceased husband. Unlike Tayce T., however, her personality is the polar opposite; she has a sour attitude and is very mean and grumpy, calling Mario names and keeping a mean expression on her face. Her attitude is similar to Dyllis.

Mario first comes across her as she is searching for her missing Contact Lens; after Mario accidentally steps on it and crushes it, Zess T. refuses to allow him into Rogueport's West Side until he buys her a new one. Even after he does, Zess T. still harbors a bit of a grudge, referring to him as names such as "Stompy" or "Sir Stomps-on-Stuff." However, Wonky implies that she does ultimately have a bit of a soft spot for Mario since he mentions when describing Couple's Cake that, due to it reminding her of her deceased husband, she rarely bakes the cake unless someone really wins her favor.

Her cooking is limited to one item at a time until Mario finds Maitre Delish's Cookbook hidden in a back room of Creepy Steeple. After completing this task, she is able to cook two items into one.

When Mario throws Zess Dynamite—a recipe made by Zess T. from mixing an Egg Bomb (made from a Mystic Egg and a Fire Flower) and a Coconut Bomb (made from a Coconut and a Fire Flower)—at enemies in battle, it summons a ghostly image of a fierce-looking Zess T. as it causes a massive explosion, dealing 7 points of damage to all enemies.

Tattle

 * "That's Zess T., a super-skilled Toad chef. With the right ingredients, she can make ANYTHING! She's like a kitchen magician! I am like, a TOTAL klutz in the kitchen, so I really respect a chef's touch."

Trivia

 * According to an RDM issue Mario receives via e-mail, Zess T. is fifty-five years old in the game. Additionally, another RDM issue claims Zess T. and Toadsworth became romantically involved during his stay in Rogueport. However, this is never mentioned outside of the e-mail.
 * Wonky implies that she is Tayce T.'s sister, which also makes her The Master's sister.
 * Zess T. shares her Japanese name with Raini.

Racle T. Chef Champignon