The 'Shroom:Issue XXVII/Fake News

 by the Fake News Team

The Muy Importante
THE "FAKE MOVIES" SECTION NEEDS A WRITER!

The Good
Multiple changes have been made to our staff:
 * has taken over music.
 * has taken over Obituaries, Weather, and Injuries/Arrests.
 * The character battles will stay; they are now bi-monthly.
 * Although unofficial, has kindly created a weather article in place of that lazy Flicky.

The Bad

 * and are FIRED!

Travel Guide
by



The Dutch countryside is a beautiful place with lots of things to do. There are sheep and beautiful flowers. Oh, and windmills. Lots and lots of windmills. You can check it all out in Windmillville. Come tiptoe through the tulips with our special vacation package. It's $395 airfare for a four-person round-trip, and $99 a night for four people at one of seven wonderful hotels!

Fake Music
by

'''DARK BOO HAS NOT GIVEN US HIS SECTION FOR THIS MONTH. ONE MORE TIME AND HE WILL BE FIRED!'''

 has a new hit single: "'Shroom That". It's about the hardships in the life of an average Toad.

Fake TV
by

The Match Game was a huge success! In the future, we will play the game live on #mw-shroom.

(Match Game theme plays)

Narrator: Get ready to match the stars!...Dick Barton!...Brett Summers!...Gary Bergoff!...Maryann Mobley! (crowd laughs)...Richard Dawson! And Patty Deutsch! As we play the star-studded, big-money Match Game 75! And here's your host, Gene Rayburn!

(The crowd applauds.)

St00by: No-ho, not those stars! You'll match the MarioWiki stars, with your host, Ralphfan, on the MarioWiki Match Game.

Ralphfan: Thanks, everyone for coming out to our premiere episode here at the Sam's Tailor Shop Auditorium; a great crowd on here tonight, we've even got fans standing in the aisle!

(The crowd cheers.)

Ralphfan: Let me explain how this game works. The participants are gonna get a sentence with a blank on it or a question. They will then have to answer the question or fill in the blank. Every time a contestant's answer is "matched" by a judge, they get a point. Whoever gets the most points wins the fabulous prize-

St00by: Prize is not that fabulous.

Ralphfan: So, let's meet our judges! We have me, Hyper Guy, Luigifreak, Tucayo, and St00by in our center square as we mix our game show metaphors.

(More applause.)

Ralphfan: I'm proud to announce that we have a lot of eccentric season ticket-holders, so let's meet our favorite charcters. He brings out the questions, it's Sparky the Pig!

Sparky: Snort snort snort.

Ralphfan: Sparky wants to make it clear that he doesn't have swine flu and that you can't get it from being near pigs. Next we have Sparky's backup, plus one of my favorite friends, his name is Larryhorse!

Larryhorse: LARRYHORSE!

Ralphfan: Thanks, Larry, and I must say, your grilling skills are terrific; I simply love your tri-tip. Next up, everyone's favorite demented redneck, it's Joe Nolan, come on out here, Joe!

Joe Nolan: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ralphfan: All right, Joe. Next, one of our most dedicated fans, he comes out to here in San Diego every week all the way from Montreal for this, it's Pierre!

Pierre: Ooh la la!

Ralphfan: All right, and it's America's favorite stuffed animal, Baby V!

Baby V: Squeak squeak squeak!

Ralphfan: Thanks, Baby, and if I'm not mistaken, the Woodrow Wilson Cheerleaders are here tonight, are you here, girls?

Cheerleaders: Yeah!

Ralphfan: Okay, then, let's get down to it. It's time to meet our contestants. Our first contestant is Yoshi Boo 118! How's it going?

(The crowd applauds.)

Yoshi Boo 118: Doing fine...I'm ready.

Ralphfan: Next, it's our alternate, who will win the fabulous prize-

St00by: Prize is not that fabulous.

Ralphfan: Actually, it is sort of fabulous. It's a lifetime supply of juice, and it was recommended by our alternate, who never agreed to play but he never disagreed either; he does still talk to me even though he retired; he'll win the prize in the event of a tie for doing absolutely nothing; it's DOM!

(The crowd goes insane, chanting "DOM! DOM! DOM!  DOM!  DOM!" and security has to prevent a riot.)

Dom: Hi. I've got Duckstealer McDucks here. He says he's innocent.

Ralphfan: All right then. Now here's our second contestant, it's Pink Boozooka!

(The crowd applauds.)

Pink Boozooka: I'm doing fine; I'll be even happier if I win!

Ralphfan: OK, here's our first question, Sparky, please?

(Sparky brings the question.)

Sparky: Snort snort.

Ralphfan: Thanks, Sparky, here goes:

Recently, some pirates have been active in the Indian Ocean. The U.S. Navy has responded by saying they are in the process of developing a gun that can shoot accurately from a mile away. Lots of pirates got scared when they heard this, but BLANK is quaking with fear.

(The Match Game theme plays.)

Ralphfan: Ding when you have your answers, judges.

Ralphfan: Ding!

Luigifreak: Ding!

Tucayo: Ding!

St00by: Ding!

Hyper Guy: Ding!

Ralphfan: Ok, Yoshi Boo 118, what's your answer?

Yoshi Boo 118: Cortez.

Ralphfan: Pink Boozooka, and you?

Pink Boozooka: Blackbeard.

Ralphfan: Well, I got Cortez!

Trumpet: Dun-dun!

Ralphfan: FYI, the dun-dun was for YB118. St00by, what say you?

St00by: I also said Cortez!

Trumpet: Dun-dun!

Ralphfan: That's two! How 'bout you, Tucayo?

Tucayo: I said Captain Hook.

Trumpet: Waa-waa!

Ralphfan: Luigifreak?

Luigifreak: I said Chuck Norris.

Trumpet: Waa-waa!

Ralphfan: Interesting answer and Hyper Guy, you had?

Hyper Guy: I got Jonathan Jones.

Ralphfan: Good answer...

Trumpet: Waa-waa!

(The theme stops playing.)

Ralphfan: But not a match. So, Yoshi Boo 118 is up 2-0!

Ralphfan: I just wanted to mention that Tanokki and Paper Jorge said they would be able to participate, but they didn't. It absolutely broke our hearts, Larry was crying!

Larryhorse: LARRYHORSE!

Ralphfan: Ok, now to the second question, Sparky?

...

Ralphfan: Where's Sparky?

Tucayo: His taquitos just arrived.

Ralphfan: Come on, Sparky, you can eat later.

Sparky: Snort snort.

Ralphfan: Don't cop that attitude with me!

Tucayo: Larry's not eating, he can do it.

Ralphfan: Larry?

(Larryhorse brings the question.)

Larryhorse: LARRYHORSE!

The economy continues to fall. This isn't just on Earth, it's happening in the Marioverse, too. People are so cash-strapped, they can't even afford BLANK.

(The theme starts again.)

Tucayo: Ding!

St00by: Ding!

Ralphfan: Ding!

Hyper Guy: Ding!

Luigifreak: Ding!

Ralphfan: Okay, guys, what've you got?

Pink Boozooka: I said Paper.

Yoshi Boo 118: I was thinking a little out-of-the-box; I said Dried Shrooms.

Ralphfan: Well, I said Mushrooms.

Trumpet: Waa-waa!

Tucayo: I said a sig.

Trumpet: Waa-waa!

Ralphfan: Well, that's...an unusual answer. Hyper Guy?

Hyper Guy: I said Mushrooms.

Ralphfan: Well, that matches me! That deserves a dun-dun!

Trumpet: Dun-dun!

Ralphfan: So, Pink Boozooka is down 2-0 and he needs the next two to tie. We go to Luigifreak, who said people can't afford...

Luigifreak: Along the lines of health insurance, I said Life Shrooms.

Trumpet: Waa-waa!

Ralphfan: Great answer; however, it doesn't do Pink Boozooka any good; Yoshi Boo 118 will win, but the over-under was 2.5, so we need to know what St00by said:

St00by: I said Dried Shrooms!

Trumpet: Dun-dun!

(The theme stops playing.)

Ralphfan: Wow! St00by matches 118 both times! 118, you've won our fabulous prize, 3-0!

St00by: Prize is not that fabulous.

Yoshi Boo 118: Great!

Ralphfan: Well, you get to match me for the bonus round, but I have to warn you, the bonus prize really isn't fabulous. It's a lifetime supply of the parasols, you know, the little umbrellas you put in your juice. Just fill it in; Free BLANK.

(The theme begins again.)

Ralphfan: Ding!

Yoshi Boo 118: I said free food.

Ralphfan: We'll have to ask a higher power about this one; I said free juice. Larry, is it a match?

Larryhorse: LARRYHORSE!

Trumpet: Waa-waa!

(The theme stops playing.)

Ralphfan: Well, yes, I see your thinking, Larry, it shouldn't be; juice is a drink-Sparky, calm down!

Sparky: Snort snort!

Ralphfan: This is why Larry does these jobs.

Larryhorse: LARRYHORSE!

Ralphfan: Well, folks, that's all the time we have, so make your way out the west exit for free juice. Goodnight, everyone!

(The crowd applauds.)

Fake Games
by

on being healthy. Wario was too fat to be a character, so he has been replaced by Sonic The Hedgehog. One minigame features Dr. Crygor inventing a machine that could eliminate all fatty products, but he gets stuck in it and turns into a skeleton Dr. Crygor, complete with a new gray helmet.
 * 1) "Wario Ware: Fat Fighters!" Is a game which involves several microgames based

Yoshi dying if you touch him. How you are supposed to play it, nobody knows.
 * 1) "Yoshi Touch 'n' Die" is the sequel to Yoshi Touch 'n' Go, this time with

Wanted Poster
by



Please ignore the spelling errors.

Obituaries
by

'''FLICKY HAS NOT GIVEN US HIS SECTION FOR THIS MONTH. ONE MORE TIME AND HE WILL BE FIRED!'''



Pirate Goomba passed on on June 8th. He was killed by Cortez. Pirate Goombaa decided not to comment.

Cooking Guide
Today, Tayce T. will show us how to make a Big Cookie!

You will need:


 * One 2 lb. pound of Cake Mix
 * One of the following:
 * Six Eggs
 * Two cups of chopped Goomnuts
 * Two cups of Blue Berries
 * Two cups of Red Berries
 * Two cups of Yellow Berries
 * One whisk
 * One large mixing bowl
 * One cookie tray (any size)
 * A knife
 * One half-gallon of milk
 * A spatula
 * One oven ("Easy-Bake" ovens will NOT work!)


 * 1) Pour the cake mix into the large bowl.
 * 2) Add the milk.
 * 3) Stir with a whisk.
 * 4) Choose one of the following:
 * 5) Chop the Goomnuts.
 * 6) Add the Blue Berries.
 * 7) Add the Red Berries.
 * 8) Add the Yellow Berries.
 * 9) Stir with the spatula for six minutes.
 * 10) Pour on to the cookie tray.
 * 11) Bake for eighteen minutes.
 * 12) Enjoy!

Poll
by

'''NO POLL YET. ST00BY IS THE DIRECTOR, SO WE ARE CUTTING HIM SOME SLACK.'''

Interview
by Today's guest is Yoshi!



Ralphfan: Yoshi, how's it going?

Yoshi: Fine, thanks.

Ralphfan: I know you are with Birdo, but I hear Petey has a thing for her.

Yoshi: Hang on.

Yoshi steps outside; gunfire is heard; Petey Piranha screams in pain.

Yoshi: You were saying?

Ralphfan: SECURITY!

Security takes Yoshi away.

Weather
Hello gobbly goobers! I'm Koopster 64! Although this is unofficial, I'll write this for that idiot Flicky! Anyway, this is the weather.

Monday: It's going to be sunny! It'll be like Isle Delfino out here!

Tuesday: It's going to be slightly cloudy. Hey, has anyone noticed the clouds are watching us?

Wednsday: It's even more cloudy. And the clouds are STILL watching us. I'm starting to think this is a conspiracy.

Thursday: It's majorly cloudy, don't go outside, as the ever so watching clouds is capable of mind control.... and stuff.

Friday: It'll be snowy. The snow will unusually be going up. Those are really the souls of the lives the clouds has taken over.

Saturday: The clouds will begin getting tired of their mind control regime and start a heavy rain! Stay inside, and avoid flash floods!

Sunday: The clouds will become the overlords of the planet and they'll award us with a bright sunshine!

Injuries and Arrests
'''FLICKY HAS NOT GIVEN US HIS SECTION FOR THIS MONTH. ONE MORE TIME AND HE WILL BE FIRED!'''