User:Ralphfan

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Welcome
I'm Ralphfan. (If you didn't know that, GTFO.) On the forum, I'm known as Lithium. [http://userpedia.adriels.com/Ralphfan See me on Userpedia! ]

Hi. I'm ralphfan, as you might've guessed. I live near San Francisco, which is kinda sucky because it's always cold and foggy there. Good thing is we have a bazillion major sports.

These people are on the wiki:. You can post your comments about anything* on my talk page. Well, not exactly anything...see here for the legal mumbo-jumbo.

Stuff I do on the Wiki
I honestly don't do much here anymore besides vote on proposals and direct The 'Shroom's Fake News. I do use the forum a lot, though. You can click here to see my profile and here to send me a message.

Cool Video Games Halftime Show I Saw Live
(No, I didn't film this.)

8QNI3W8UB-s

Game Ratings
Huge thanks to Dom for helping me with the table!

Really Funny Stuff (all real, you can't make this up)
If more funny things happen (which they're bound to), you'll know.
 * 1) I thought things like Viagra made guys talk normal without freaking out when they were talkin' to girls on a date.
 * 2) I once called Notre Dame (the college) Notre State.
 * 3) My brother was using his watch to make sure he didn't stay on the can for years (yes, I mean years). He, for some reason, decided to take it off, and it fell in!  (It survived and is now clean.)
 * 4) A guy found some nail polish and was goofing around with it at the start of math one day. He spilled some and had to go through the rest of they day with a purple spot on his crotch!
 * 5) Click here  for crap people actually put into articles.  Before revising crappy articles, put the worst of it  here .  I have put seven things on there.
 * 6) In Italian class, a guy meant to say "oggi" (which means today) and he said "orgy"! FUNNY LAWS BELOW!
 * 7) In Switzerland, a guy can't use the can standing up after 10 P.M.
 * 8) In Australia, it is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burglar.
 * 9) It is an offense for women of "ill repute or evil looks" to enter a cheese factory in Italy's area of Ferrara.
 * 10) In France, between the hours of 8AM and 8PM, 70% of the music in the radio must be by French composers.
 * 11) In Scotland, it is illegal to be drunk while in possession of a cow.
 * 12) In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to do it with animals -- so long as the animals are female. It is illegal to have do it with a male animal, however.
 * 13) In Thailand, it is illegal to leave your house if you are not wearing underwear.
 * 14) In China, women are prohibited from walking around a hotel room in the nude; a woman may only be naked while in the bathroom.
 * 15) In Hong Kong, a woman is legally allowed to kill her cheating husband -- but only if she uses her bare hands. The husband's lover, however, may be killed in any manner desired.
 * 16) It is illegal in Antibes to take photos of police officers or police vehicles, even if they are just in the background. NORMAL STUFF CONTINUES HERE.
 * 17) My brother tried to say Super Smash Bros. Melee  and said Super Smash Bros. Mealy!
 * 18) In Italian class once, during a dialogue (that was being filmed and graded), a girl meant to say "Che ore sono?" (what time is it) and said "What time is it?"
 * 19) All the girls one of my friends has ever liked all have one thing in common: tons and tons of arm hair. It's crazy!
 * 20) In Florida, a woman called 911 three times because McDonald's ran out of McNuggets and didn't give her a refund for them.
 * 21) If you're afraid of spiders, then you have arachnophobia. Now if you're 'fraid of breathin', you got about four minutes to live.
 * 22) If you're having trouble with you're homework, don't go up to your teacher and say, "This homework is too hard! Now gimme a big wet kiss!"
 * 23) It's good to invent a new soup called "Tasty Chicken-Barley". It's bad to invent a new soup called "Broken Glass Chowder".
 * 24) You should always brush your teeth three times a day. You should never fill your pants with infected fish.
 * 25) If you're afraid your grandmother might get stolen, stick an alarm up her dress and chain her to the fence!
 * 26) Next time you're feeling sick, take a piece of ham and rub it all over your body. You won't feel any better, but, hey, you'll smell like ham!
 * 27) If you're on a first date, it's bad to say, "So, what's the biggest loogie you've ever hocked up?"
 * 28) Breaking up is hard to do. Breaking a dozen eggs with a sledgehammer...pff [sic]...is fun!
 * 29) It's easy to milk a cow. It's weird to milk a toothless hippie named Maurice.
 * 30) When it rains, it pours. When there's a nail in your eye, you go, "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
 * 31) If you see someone drowning, it is not considered polite to try to throw popcorn in their mouth.
 * 32) There are 16 ounces in a pound. There are 38 sheep in my pants.
 * 33) If your name Steven, and you have a turkey named Steffin', then come Thanksgiving you'll be Steven stuffin' Steffin'!
 * 34) It's rude to talk with your mouth full. It's even ruder to talk with your mouth full of baby squirrels.
 * 35) A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. A bird in your pants can be very uncomfortable.
 * 36) It's not nice to push your friend Billy of the roof and then yell, "Look, Manynard! It's rainin' Billy!"
 * 37) When it rains, it pours. When it snows, it's cold.
 * 38) If your teacher gives you an F, it's worng to say, "Well, what'd you expect, moron? I didn't study!"
 * 39) If your grandmother gives you a pretty new sweater, it's rude to thank her by wrapping the sweater around her face and squeezing 'till she turns blue.
 * 40) You are what you eat. I'm thirteen tacos and a stick of butter.
 * 41) It's rude to walk into a forest and yell out, "HEY! YOU TREES ARE A BUNCH OF MORONS, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?  IF YOU WANNA DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, JUST COME OVER HERE AND KICK ME!"
 * 42) If you count to seventeen on one hand, then good luck finding gloves, you seventeen-fingered freak!
 * 43) If an adult asks you what you wanna be when you grow up, it's not nice to say, "Well I wanna be a great big loser! Just like you!"
 * 44) Never judge a book by its cover. Judge it by the noise it makes when it hits your Uncle Benny on the booty!
 * 45) Revenge is sweet. Not as sweet as 10 POUNDS OF SUGAR!
 * 46) If yo' mama has a lot of hair on her chest and a really deep voice, then yo' mama's a dude!
 * 47) If yo' dad has a really high voice and wears dresses, then yo' dad's a chick!
 * 48) Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.  And I laughed my butt off!
 * 49) If your bra is too tight, it's uncomfortable. If you're a boy and you're bra is too tight, I'm uncomfortable.
 * 50) If there was an animal called a yabba-dabba, and you kept one in your backyard, then you might accidentally step in yabba-dabbba doo.
 * 51) One potato, two potato, three potato, four; I rode a bike without a seat and now my butt is sore.
 * 52) A penny saved is a penny earned, and a penny earned will buy you absolutely nothing.
 * 53) It's to stop and smell flowers. It's bad to stop and smell this old burrito.
 * 54) If you jump out of a plane and your parachute doesn't open...BYE BYE!
 * 55) It's fun to take a hot bubble bath. It' no fun to dance with "Hot Bubble" McGee.
 * 56) When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When a truck runs over your foot, go, "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
 * 57) You say. "tomato." I say, "tomahto."  You say, "potato."  I say, "Look at us!  We're two idiots talkin' about vegetables!
 * 58) If you're the President of the United States, then you know what? You need to get off YouTube and fix our country! (I got that one off YouTube.)
 * 59) When you're reading a book, don't skip the even-numbered pages and say, "Man, this book's so odd."
 * 60) Monkey see, monkey do. Monkey don't see, monkey step in doo.
 * 61) If your first name is Willy, your middle name is Wally, and your last name is Woo, then congratulations, your name is Willy Wally Woo.
 * 62) When you fall in a toilet, it's best not to start swimming and say, "Look! I'm a toilet fish!"
 * 63) When you see an old lady, it's not nice to say, "How long have you been sittin' in a pool? Or is your face always that wrinkled?
 * 64) The cow says moo. The duck says quack. The crazy person says, "BWAAHHH!"
 * 65) If you get all F's on your report card, don't fell bad. It's not your fault you're stupid.
 * 66) Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary had a little lamb and a side of mashed potatoes.
 * 67) Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. No one cared.
 * 68) They say that the early bird gets the worm. Well, fine.  I don't want the early bird anyway.
 * 69) Eenie meenie minee moe. Catch a tiger by his toe.  If he hollers, let him go before the tiger kills you.
 * 70) Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony. Stuck a feather in his hat, and realized he had ruined a perfectly good hat.
 * 71) If you flush your friend down the toilet, either you have a really big toilet or a teeny tiny friend.
 * 72) When you invite your teacher over for dinner, don't say, "My parents have always wanted to meet the world's biggest idiot."
 * 73) A clean closet is probably full of socks. A dirty closet is probably full of baboons.
 * 74) My mom tried to say "I don't care!" and "It doesn't matter!" at the same time and said "I don't matter!"
 * 75) On Galaxy, when  Mario  needs to turn into a Boo, there's a sign with instructions regarding the Boo Mushroom.  If you read the sign as Mario, it says, "It's written in Booish."
 * 76) During anti-drug week at school, in 6th grade, we got these erasers that said "DRUGS ERASE YOUR MIND". A guy scratched off some letters: "DRUG YOUR MIND"!  Seriously, though, drugs are bad for you.
 * 77) Poop deck.
 * 78) If this doesn't make you laugh, you deserve to burn in hell.

PWN
http://www.danasoft.com/sig/ralphsign.jpg