List of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes

This is a list of quotes from the game Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door; the quotes are listed by character.

Admiral Bobbery

 * "Harumph! What poppycock... Tell me, what would you want with me if I were this chump?"
 * "Awfully sorry, dear boy, but when I say "no", what I mean is...NO!"
 * ''"Oh, by Blabberton's beard! Not you again!"
 * "By Blubbery's blotches! Is that Mario over there? You're alive, old boy!"
 * "You came just in the nick of time! Get these two out of here this instant!"
 * "Just leave it to me, eh? I'll keep these gouls busy while you get out of here! Flee! That's an order! Let me do what I must do! NOW, AWAY WITH YOU!"
 * "HAAAAACK! PBBBTTHH! Uuurrrrgh... Get me that Chuckola Cola, old boy..."
 * "HUP! HUP! WOT WOT?!? Yobbity yobbity...PIRATES! Where are those pirates?!?"
 * "I'm sure my sea legs and explosive personality will be rather useful, eh?"
 * "Flavio, old boy... I must say... You talk rather too much."
 * "We've done it, old boy! I should say he won't be too keen on seeing us again, eh?"
 * "Call it an old sea bomb's intuition, but that skull rock smells...suspicious."
 * "Flavio, you old cash-grubber! If you want the treasure, why don't you go get it yourself?"
 * "There you have it, Flavio! Fair and square, eh wot?"
 * "Ah... Well, I say, that curse chap seems rather a bit of all right, eh?"
 * "By Chowderton's cheeks! That dreadful voice again... Those ghosts must be near..."
 * "On your toes, old bean! That can only be an e-mail from Princess Peach!"
 * "Great Goobery! Your princess is no one to be trifled with! We'd best get to work, too!"
 * "Wait a tick! I've heard tell that only the rich and famous call thatplace home..."
 * "Harumph! Sounds positively scintillating, dear boy. Point us there!"
 * "Pardon me for saying so, but mustn't you have wealth or fame to ride that train?"
 * "Ah...no. Terribly sorry. Mm-mm. Impossible. Can't do it. The man's reprehensible! ...Well, drat. I suppose there's nothing for it, eh, old boy? If we must, we must. Let's go."
 * "Jolly good show! We'll reach Poshley Heights in time for tea, eh? Finding that sixth Crystal Star shouldn't be more taxing than a vacation, eh wot?"
 * "Mario! That bodes ill! I suggest we reach Poshley Heights before that crone! Look alive, man! We are off to Rogueport Station!"
 * "Harumph! The Excess Express! Rather posh, I must say! Yes, rather posh, indeed! The three days to Poshley Heights ought to pass in an eyeblink, eh, old boy?"
 * "Rather odd threat, eh? You don't think that Beldam crone's responsible, do you?"
 * "Well, regardless of who it may be, the scoundrel is surely on this very train! Let's roust this swine before he or she has the chance to cause mischief!"
 * "What makes me say that? I've a sea lion's nose for scoundrels, old boy!"
 * "I should think they are the perpetrators behind the drawbridge debacle! Let's make haste, find the switch, and switch it back!"
 * "Right! Let's have ourselves a snooze so we're right as rain in the morning!"
 * "Ah, nothing quite like a new day, eh, old boy? And what a cool and brisk morning! Clears the sinuses!"
 * "What IS that rank thing? ...Horrors! Mario, look! It's got the other passengers!"
 * "Confound it all! Now what?"
 * "Blast it all! We're too late!!! Quick! After them!"
 * "By Crackifer's cookies! The moon? The princess is on the moon, old boy? Smashing!"
 * "The moon?!? Great gobbledy! Princess Peach is there as well! ...This seems a bit...off."
 * "An Ultra Hammer?!? Dear man, we've already procured one of those!"
 * "Hmm... Yes... I see! Quite so! Destination: Fahr Outpost!"
 * "A touch nippy, I should say! Let's do make haste, Mario. Fahr Outpost can't be far now, old boy!"
 * "Old boy, I KNOW I saw a cannon the last time I was here, so do not lie, sir!"
 * "Rather frosty, isn't it? Almost freezes one's mustache, eh, old boy?"
 * "Harumph! Well, that was rather a bumpy trip, wot wot! Who would've guessed I'd get to do such a thing..."
 * "Well, old boy, we're really on the moon, by Crabbery!"
 * "You! You've been waiting, you say? Whatever do you mean by THAT, you boor?"
 * "So Peach WAS here! Where did you take her, you hurly-burler?!?"
 * "I say, old boy, I rather think YOU'RE going to be the one doing the suffering!"
 * "We've finally got all seven Crystal Stars! Corking!"
 * "Crockity! I say, old boy, did you just hear something?"
 * "Into the breach, Mario!!!"
 * "This place is rather ugly...but we haven't a choice in the matter, old boy! We must get in there and save Peach before this hullabaloo goes any further! Let's go, dear boy!"
 * "Now who's this dragon fellow? I say, isn't that Hooktail, the guy you beat before? Yes, enormous, with rather grimy toes... Yes, that suits this fellow to a T!"
 * "It's absolutely titanic... What in blazes is it?"
 * "Opening the door for you? My dear, repellant woman, what do you mean by that?!?"
 * "Such balderdash! It's quite obvious you are in for a stomping, so let's have at it!"
 * "Let’s leave these cads, Mario..."
 * "This room gives me a rather foul feeling in my belly... What IS this chamber?"
 * "So, this lout is the leader of those X-Nauts?"
 * "No! So the last Crystal Star we found on the moon... We're fools!"
 * "Watch your back, old boy! This burly fellow looks rather robust!"
 * "What should we do, old boy? We're doomed if we don't attack him..."
 * "Whew... Rather close, hm? At least we've settled that blury bloke's account, old boy. Now, let's save Peach!"
 * "Mario, we mustn't serve evil! You must resist, old boy!!!"
 * "I know Scarlette is watching over me from the other side! I KNOW it, old boy! If I don't send this queen packing, my girl will be most displeased, hm? Mario! Let's send this shady demon back to the darkness!"
 * "Serve a witch? My Scarlette would be rather angry with me, I should think..."
 * "What... What's THIS, now? I feel rather like a new Bob-omb! I feel fantastic!"
 * "Mario! The time is ripe! We've almost done it!"
 * "Don't you dare apologize, my dear! It was all in a day's work for us, hm?"
 * "Well, old boy, it was most agreeable that I had the chance to meet you. If it hadn't been for you, then my dear Scarlette would still gaze down on a broken Bob-omb. Let's meet again, Mario! And this time, let it be on the high seas, old boy!"
 * "Well, you're hardly my type, either, you young scallywag!"
 * "Rather a crabby sort, eh?"
 * "Leave it all to me, old boy! I shan't need help!"
 * "I suggest you try a bit harder against the likes of us, hm?"
 * "Well, you're hardly my type, either, you young scallywag!"

Arfur

 * "Did you check prices for me?"
 * "Perfect! OK! I'm ready."
 * "First, how much are they asking for Fire Flowers?"
 * "And for Sleepy Sheep?"
 * "OK..."
 * "And how about Tasty Tonic? How much is that?"
 * "...Wow! That's rough."
 * "Those are some low prices. I can't believe they're selling that low..."
 * "Hmm... Even if I try to compete with them, I don't think I can profit."
 * "But it is certainly helpful information. Here's your reward. Good work."

Armored Harriers

 * "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!? How does he know Mom has an outie? That jerk!"-Red Cleft
 * "We're gonna blend you up into a smoothie, pal! And then we're gonna drink ya!"-Red Cleft
 * "Oh, and one more thing... Only smelly stinkwads call other people stinkwads! Understand, stinkwad?"-Red Cleft
 * "See these bods? Solid iron. See these spikes? Yeah, they peneterate any substance."-Green Cleft
 * "Bluh huh huh huh huh... Give up now!"-Red Cleft
 * "Well, stinkwads, you're about to learn about our skills the hard way."-Green Cleft
 * "If you want another piece of pummel pie, have a bath and come on back! Punk!"-Green Cleft

Bald Cleft

 * "This no take long. This end in pain for mustache."

Bandit

 * "Heh heh heh heh heh! We're awful quick, awful agile...and just plain awful!"

Bandy Andy

 * "Heh. Nice to meet you. I'm not in here too often, but if you see me around, say hi."
 * "...Oh yeah, if you sleep in the bed over there, your HP and FP will fully recover."
 * "It's not like the cushy bed in the champ's room, though: it doesn't refill Star Power."

Beldam

 * "The honorable Grodus has need of us? Then we arrive without delay."
 * "Mmmwee hee hee hee hee... Pray tell, did the princess tell you where the map is?"
 * "It wasn't my fault, truly! There were too many prying eyes there. Too many... Besides, a strange old man showed up at the moment of truth, and we had to retreat."
 * "Why worry? All we need to do now is find this Mario and steal the map, yesss?"
 * "Mmmmwee hee hee hee... Fear not, sire. I, Beldam, shall return with what you seek."
 * "Let's go, my lovelies! Marilyn! Vivian! Come! We've got a job to do!"
 * "Mmmmwee hee hee hee! Time to go to work, lovelies! Vivian! You understand what we've got to do, yesss?"
 * "Oh, bad things happen all the time, Vivian. But you're right about our goals."
 * "If my information is correct, Mario should be coming down this road quite soon. You must ambush him here and get that map!"
 * "Hmmmm? What's this, now? Vivian! What's that you're fawning over there?"
 * "Hmph! Vivian! For shame! Picking up someone's scraps? Disgusting! Greedy!"
 * "But enough about that! Vivian, my dear pack rat... Bring out the sketch of that Mario guy you got from Grodus! Mmmmmwee hee hee!"
 * "Don't be ridiculous! I don't have that thing. You were in charge of it!"
 * "You wretched little worm! Blaming me for something you probably screwed up!"
 * "Oh, what IS it, Marilyn? ...Huh? What's that? A mustachioed fellow? This is no time for such nonsense, you great oaf! Save your games for later!"
 * ""Now, now, where was I? You! Vivian! Don't tell me you lost our precious sketch!"
 * "SILENCE, YOU DITZ! Such impudence! How dare you talk back to me like some rebellious child?!? It's clear to me that the only rationale your type understands is force... For your punishment, I'll be taking that necklace you just found. Yes, so sorry."
 * "Silence, you twit! Now's not the time to get hung up on stupid details! We must study this sketch!"
 * "Wow! This Mario guy looks so manly! Check out that bushy mustache... How handsome! You know something, though, my lovelies? I swear I've seen this gentleman before... AAAAAAAAAAAACK! He's Mr. Mustache!"
 * "Ack! I don't believe this! Vivian! This is, without a doubt, all your fault! I'll be dealing out some strict punishment later, my dearie! Oh, yes! I promise you that!"
 * "Silence, you squirrel-brain! Don't you cop that insolent attitude with me!"
 * "Oh, what IS it, Mr. Mustache? I have no business with you, so scram! Right NOW!"
 * "Mmmmmmwee hee hee hee! I have no quarrel with you...but I simply can't allow you to hunt for the Crystal Stars."
 * "Those who seek names are often disappointed, but if you insist, we'll tell you. We are…"
 * "Vivian! You nincompoop! What are you babbling about?!? It's Shadow SIRENS! I don't see three beauties! I see two, but then there's you, and you're PLUG–UGLY!!!"
 * "It's just a figure of speech! Ooh, you've got some FIERCE punishment coming your way!"
 * "Marilyn! Vivian! You lumps! We would've won if you pulled your weight! Both of you, prepare for a world–class punishment session when we get home!"
 * ”We have prepared a weapon that will bring him to a quick and certain end!'
 * ”…Or are you trying to imply that I lost it, you little lolly–gagging worm?'
 * ”Mwee hee hee hee! I heard that, my uglies! So, the next Crystal Star is in Poshley Heights? That's a rather nice piece of information! Thanks ever so!“
 * ”Normally, this is where I would deal with you and the homely traitor, Vivian, but something tells me that trying that alone might be unwise.“
 * ”The REAL Professor Frankly is sleeping off a nasty bump on the head in a closet somewhere! Poor thing!“
 * ”You and that traitor, Vivian have a date with ETERNITY!“
 * "Vivian is so reasonably LATE! Where has that scatterbrain been all this time?"
 * "Come, my sort-of-lovelies! Marilyn! Freak-sheet!"
 * "All right, my kind-of-lovelies! This time, we take out Mario and his goon squad for good!"
 * "My queen! You have returned to us!“
 * "Yes, my queen… I searched for a pure maiden that you might inhabit… And as I did, I spread the rumor of a great treasure… Then I led the fools who had gathered the Crystal Stars here to open the seal…"
 * "I am not worthy, my queen…“
 * "NOOOO! My queen! Let's get out of here, Marilyn!"

Chest Demon 1

 * "Hey! You! Can you hear me?"
 * "You can?!? That must mean you're the hero of legend!"
 * "Only the great hero of legend can hear my voice. Yeah! Everyone else...nothing."
 * "See, long ago, an evil spirit cast a curse on me, locking me in this box. I was bummed."
 * "I've been here ever since, waiting a long, LONG time for the hero to come by!"
 * "...So, yeah, anyway, big guy...What brings a hero like you to a place like this?"
 * "Oh, yeah? Searching for the Crystal Stars, are you, now? So you really are a hero."
 * "Well, you're DEFINITELY going to need my help if you hope to get those bad boys."
 * "So, first you should look for the key to this box. Then use it to let me out. Definitely."
 * "Well, I know MY vote goes to you finding that key. I'm sure it's around here somewhere."
 * "C'mon! Being stuck in a box is no picnic! I'm counting on you, O Great Legendary Hero!"
 * "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You brought the key! Yes! Oh, man, I owe you BIG!"
 * "Ooh! C'mon! Don't taunt me! H-Hurry up and open it!"
 * "YESSSSSSSSS! Thank...Ha! Thank NOTHING!"
 * "Whee hee! Foooooools!"
 * "Oh, BOY, did you fall for it! I BURNED you! What, you think I was gonna help you?!?"
 * "Instead, I'm gonna spread a little of the suffering I've endured in that stupid box!"
 * "Yeah! Sorry, but those are the brakes! I'm gonna cast an evil, terrible curse upon you!"
 * "Buggly-wuggly-WOOOOOOO! You're cursed!"
 * "Whee hee hee hee hee! Enjoy that curse, sucker! You got what you deserved!!!"
 * "You wanna hear all about the sweet curse I just dropped? Then listen well!"
 * "From now on, if you press in certain areas, you'll turn into a paper airplane!"
 * "Whee hee! Trembling yet? Suffer the rest of your days under my terrible curse!"
 * "Whee hee hee hee hee hee! Oh, I can't help but chortle! You're DOOMED!!!"
 * "This curse is pretty rough, I guess, so I suppose I owe it to you to explain it."
 * "Ready? If you stand on an airplane panel like this one, the floor will start to glow."
 * "Yeah, OK, you're on the panel. Now try pressing ! And then, bam! You're a paper airplane!"
 * "The worst part of this curse is that you must tilt Left and Right to control yourself."
 * "I guess if you got good at it, you might fly a long way...but that's the ONLY good thing."
 * "So, be honest. Isn't this curse just about the worst thing that's ever happened to you?"
 * "Yes! It's so frightening, you lost control of your brain! Listen once more, crybaby!"
 * "If you step on the floor panels that are marked by my curse symbol, the floor will glow."
 * "Whee hee hee hee hee hee! If you press, you MIGHT return to normal! Maybe!"
 * "Farewell, you foolish fool! Whee hee hee hee!"

Chest Demon 2

 * "What the heck?"
 * "Hey! Guests! It's been a long time since anyone came here! A REAL long time!"
 * "...Huh? You heard me? Wow!"
 * "Wait a sec'... If you can hear my voice, you must be some legendary hero or something... Or not!!"
 * "To be honest, I'm sure anyone with ears can hear me."
 * "...But it sure is fun zinging people with that whole 'legendary hero' bit!"
 * "Hey, but seriously, folks, I was wondering if you could let me out of this chest..."
 * "I've been locked in here so long, I'm starting to cramp up like you wouldn't believe."
 * "All you have to do is find the key and let me out. Easy!"
 * "Huh? What do you mean? You think you'll be cursed if you open the box? Ridiculous!"
 * "Who would do that, really? Wait in a box and curse folks! A real slimeball, that's who!"
 * "But I'm not a real slimeball, and I would do no such thing! But that should be obvious."
 * "Look, if you help me out, maybe I'll help you out. You know, a little I-scratch-your-back-you scratch mine. Except in reverse order."
 * "Of course, you don't have to if you really don't want to. Like finding a Black Key is hard..."
 * "Hey there! Boy, I am SO glad you found that key! Unbelievable!"
 * "No! Wait! Don't do that! Look, you found the key...now just use it to open this box."
 * "WHEEE HEE HEE HEE HEE! FOOOOOOOLS!"
 * "Why, only the most idiotic, pudding-brained dolt would fall for a scheme like that!"
 * "The castle's traps prevent anyone who's entered this place from ever leaving it!"
 * "No matter which path you take, you're fated to waste away to a slow, painful end!"
 * "But wait! There's more to this great deal! I'll throw in a free CURSE! No charge!"
 * "Oogly-googly-BOO!"
 * "Wheee hee hee hee hee! Now you're cursed, doofus! And it serves you right!"
 * "This curse is more cursedly curse-worthy than any curse that's ever cursed you!"
 * "For...this curse makes you like a piece of paper when you press and hold !"
 * "Wheeee hee hee hee hee! What a curse! Who curses like me? NO ONE!"
 * "Now I shall show you just how frightful a curse it is! Go on! Press and hold ! Press and hold now!!!"
 * "You idiot! Press and hold ! Press and hold and be ashamed!!!"
 * "Wheeee hee hee hee hee! Just look at yourself! How embarrassing for you!"
 * "Eat a sandwich, skinny! Hee! ...Do you understand what this curse means for you?"
 * "Then farewell, you dumbbells! Wheee hee hee hee hee!"

Chest Demon 3

 * "Hold up! Hey! Who's there? I just heard a voice!"
 * "There's no way that people could be here! Seriously, that's just so unlikely!"
 * "...Huh? What's that you say? You've seen a chest like this before? Get outta here!"
 * "No, no, no! I'm not like those chests, I promise! Look at my eyes. Tell me I'm lying."
 * "I'm not, seriously! Just get me out of here! You'll see! Don't make me beg!"
 * "...What? Come on. You know how ridiculous you sound right now? I'm laughing in here."
 * "You honestly think I'm going to curse you when I get out? CURSE you?"
 * "Well, I did plan on doing SOMETHING to you, but it's not so much a curse as a... Well, a really wonderful new ability that will allow you to go to special places... Doesn't that sound nice?"
 * "Aw, come on, please? Just find the key and open the chest, OK? I know it's here somewhere, I just can't go look for it myself. 'Cause I'm in here. So pretty, pretty please? ♡"
 * "Oh! Thank goodness!!! You're going to let me out! Oh, happy day!"
 * "WHEE HEE! FOOOOOLS!"
 * "What were you expecting? Did you think a lovely lady would pop out or something?"
 * "Now I'm going to hit you with the king of curses, the cursiest curse ever!"
 * "Fear my terrible power! You will know the pain of having your body roll up!"
 * "BE CUUUUUUUURSED!"
 * "Whee hee hee hee hee! Now you're cursed, loser! Savor your suffering!"
 * "When this curse strikes you, you won't even be able to walk! That's how awful it is!"
 * "Whee hee hee hee hee! Your suffering amuses me! And so I laugh!"
 * "Now show me your cursed plight so I can laugh all the more!"
 * "Just press and hold, then rotate repeatedly!"
 * "Whee hee hee hee hee! Your pathetic misery thrills me to the core!"
 * "You must roll around like a silly cardboard tube! Oh, how you'll be laughed at!"
 * "Now... Do you understand the depth of your own agony?"
 * "Whee hee hee hee hee! Press to return to normal! Don't forget, mush-brain!"
 * "I leave you to suffer, fools! Whee hee hee hee hee!"

Chest Demon 4

 * "YORK!"
 * "Oh, sweet, sweet salvation!"
 * "I thought no one would ever come! I had given up!"
 * "...What's that?"
 * "Spare you the prologue and just curse you already?"
 * "Now... How did you know I was gonna do that?"
 * "No seriosuly, hang on a sec'! Can't you just listen to my spiel for a little bit?"
 * "I've been locked here forever, bored stiff, doing NOTHING but practice this speech!"
 * "...Huh? I'm already the fourth cursing chest you've met? Are you serious?"
 * "So...you're saying you know exactly how this is all going to turn out?"
 * "Man, talk about a raw deal! You're a twisted little guy, you know that?"
 * "OK, fine, fine, fine, FINE! I get the picture, okay?"
 * "Sheesh! All I wanted was to see the face of some unlucky soul when I popped out..."
 * "Is that so much to ask? No. Anyway, what are you waiting for? Just open it, already."
 * "You know what the key looks like, Mr. Seen-It-All-Already! Some ghost here has it..."
 * "So just beat him, get it, and we'll get this farce over with. Come on, now, I'm waiting!"
 * "Yeah, yeah. Whoop-de-doo. You got the key. Party time. Now let me out, already."
 * "All right. Here we go... Since you're just itching to get this over with..."
 * "A-HEM!"
 * "WHEE HEE! FOOOOOLS!"
 * "You dopes fell right into my absolutely brilliant trap! And now you will SUFFER!"
 * "Oh, yeah! I am so EVIL! Bathe in the foul, awful... ...Wait, what was next?"
 * "Oh, yeah! You fools will be cursed forever for your appalling stupidity!"
 * "You will rue the day you opened this chest of DOOM! Now, you wretched guy!"
 * "B-E C-U-R-S-E-D!!"
 * "Whee hee hee hee hee! Now you're cursed, but good! SUFFER! SUFFER! SUFFER!"
 * "Wait. That's maybe too much. Are you all right? That didn't really hurt, did it?"
 * "Whee hee hee hee hee! Good! Squirm and suffer like socially akward worms!"
 * "From now on, in certain places, if you press, you'll turn into a paper boat!"
 * "Isn't that just GRUESOME?!?"
 * "Just try it out so I can see the depth of your humiliation! Feel the terror of your fate!"
 * "When you stand on one of these Boat Panels, the panel will feel your curse and glow!"
 * "Yes, stand here, slime! Feel the pain! And press ! Become a paper boat!"
 * "Whee hee hee hee hee! Oh, yes, such suffering!"
 * "Do you feel the horror? Now you're a piddly little boat! Whee hee hee hee!"
 * "You float on the water! People will laugh at you! You will be spit upon!"
 * "...But it only works in certain places, so don't worry, it's not too bad."
 * "When you want to return to normal, approach the panel and press !"
 * "Now try it, worm!"
 * "Yes! Your pain is like a tasty banquet to me! Now, do you understand your doom?"
 * "Then off with you, you jaded, cursed boat guy!"
 * "Oh, and hey, listen... Thanks for letting me do my thing. I feel better."

Blooey

 * "Hey there, I'm Blooey. ...And this guy is a total liar! Don't listen to him!"
 * "You heard his story, right? Well, he did TRY to throw me, but he completely tripped!"
 * "And what happens? I end up landing in lava! LAVA, man! You think that feels good?"
 * "Thanks to him, you can stick a fork in me! I'm well done! My pale skin's crispified!"
 * "I'll NEVER forgive this guy! I'm gonna make him pay if it takes my whole lifetime!"
 * "That's the ONLY reason I'm still hanging around with him! YOU'LL PAY, LUIGI!"
 * "Hey! You! Remember me? It's me, Blooey!"
 * "Maaaan, that last battle was hairy! You have no idea!"
 * "I was burnt to a crisp, but I was actually kinda relieved, If you can believe that!"
 * ''"But if you want the whole story, you should just ask Luigi here! Wahahaha!

Blooper

 * "Bloop! BLOOOOOOOOOOOOP! (Ouch! That HURT!)"
 * "Bloobloobloobloop! (Who just up and whacks someone's tootsies like that?)"
 * "Bloobloop! BLOOOP! (Someone with some serious moxie, that's who!)"
 * "Bloobloop! Bloobloobloop! (Would you look at that! It's some saucy mustached guy!)"
 * "Bloopity bloop! Blooooo! (He's in a WORLD of hurt!)"
 * "BlooblooblooblooblooBLOOP! (I'll give him a taste of the old tentacle trample!)"
 * "BLUH-BLOOOOOOOP!"

Boo

 * "My friends have all been taken away...So lonely..."
 * "My friends are all gone...I'm so very lonely..."
 * "Don't leave me alone…"

Bootler

 * "Lady Bow, your beauty is like the song of a nightingale in the evening."
 * "Indeed... I feel you've grown into a fine young girl who'd make your ancestors proud!"

Bowser

 * "Bowser, the mighty Koopa King has arrived! Hold your applause, minions! But now that I'm here... Kammy! You crusty old hag! Why did you summon me?"
 * "Oh, go ON, Mr. Comedian! I'm just DYING to hear the rest of your HILARIOUS story!"
 * "*"I bet you are, Kammy Kooopa! Now, out with it! Why have you called me here?""
 * "Pbbbthbtth! Am I Mario's baby–sitter? I don't care what he's doing! Are you going to call me every time that guy blows his nose, or what? Sheesh!"
 * "Tuh-Treasure?!?"
 * "Crystal Stars? They sound like great world–conquering tools! I want 'em!"
 * "I LOVE Fried Eggs! LOVE'em!"
 * "Oh, I almost threw up just now! I CAN'T STAND FRIED EGGS!"
 * "But...what a weird question. Why do you ask?"
 * "AIRHEAD!!! A picnic?!? You MORON! This is no time for fun! See, THIS is why my evil plans always derail! Because you clods always goof off! AAARGH!"
 * "Under NO circumstances is ANYONE allowed to kidnap her without MY say–so!!! I will NOT stand for this! I'm going to Rogueport, NOW! I've got to kidnap her back!"
 * "I, Bowser, the mighty Koopa King, offer my greeting!"
 * "Great, just great. Now I look like the huge, mighty King of GUYS WHO TALK TO POSTERS!"
 * "You're both too old."
 * "It's hag vs. hag! Awesome!"
 * "Uh, actually, it's YOU who's gonna spill every bit of info out of your big, ugly head!"
 * "I don't know anybody named Gonzales! Stop speaking in riddles, you chicken nugget!"
 * "CRUD!!! Who do I have to flatten to get a Crystal Star?!? Who?!? WHOOOO?!?"
 * "Well, we're here! Now where's this stupid Poshley Sanctum? A Crystal Star's there, right?"
 * "Great! About time something worked out for old Bowser! In we go!"
 * "Wh–What? That's... disgusting! Get away from me, psycho! You can't have my horns!"
 * "...Whoa. I don't have a CLUE what you're talking about! You people scare me. Seriously."
 * "I am Bowser, businessman of legend! Fear my accounting!"
 * "DARN IT!"
 * "Whoa, baby! Awesome! It opened! Talk about lucky! I guess rage really pays!"
 * "Yes! This is it, Haggy!!! This is finally it!"
 * "Gwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! At last, I've gotten my mitts on a Crystal Star! YESSS!!!"
 * "What are you implying? I'm no little thief, I'm..."
 * "Bowser, the Remorseless King of Evil! So I'll take what I want! And I want THIS!"
 * "Bowser, the Shadow Thief! Not A thief, the BEST thief! I'll be taking this, thanks!"
 * "The great Koopa Koot! I'm taking this! Mess with me, and I'll bore you to death!"
 * "Whuh-WHAAAAAAAAT?!? A FAKE?!?"
 * "You have got to be kidding me. You mean to tell me that LUIGI beat me here?"
 * "ARRGH! Those Mario Bros. are the most annoying brothers of all time!"
 * "The Thousand-Year Door...? What in the heck is that?"
 * "YAARGHH!!! Then I'm going there, too! IMMEDIATELY! And I'm gonna RUIN Mario!"
 * "What's the matter? All tired from battle, Mario? Yes! Easy pickings!"
 * "Gra har har har! What's a finale without a Bowser appearance? A cruddy finale, that's what!"
 * "Today's the day I flush a plumber down the drain!"
 * "Graaaaaaaaaaaagh! No more! Kammy! Take care of this, you burly hag, you..."

Bub

 * "Wow! You're big, Mister! What's your name?"
 * (Evil King Extraordinaire)
 *  "Yuh-YEEEK!"  
 * (Businessman of Legend)
 * "Oh, a businessman? Like… Business trips, bribes, and brown noses! Oh my! Wow. Tough life, huh? So, mister, are you in charge of the coffeemaker or what?"
 * (Koopa Koot)
 * "Uh… Yeah… Right… Mister, that name stinks!"

Bumpty

 * "Oh, hello there, guy! Poshley Heights is nice on a warm afternoon, eh? What's that? You're a great and evil king, are you? Reeeeeeeeeeally… Yah… Y'know, guy, I think maybe you got a little too much sun, eh?"

Businessman

 * "Huh? I shouldn't give up so easily? Yeah, maybe you're right… OK! I'll do it! I just have to convince the Fat Dog guy! I'm on it! I won't leave this place until I convince him! Wow! Thanks for all your help. Here's your reward. What? Your inventory's full! Well, I'll leave it here, and you can pick it up anytime."

Chain Chomp

 * "ARF! ARF! ARF! ARF! ARF!"

Chef Shimi

 * "HELLO! I am Chef Shimi, the culinary expert! Glad to make your complaintance!"
 * "So sorry! Cheep Cheep is my first language, you know."
 * "Today's lunch is so amazing it will make your tongue cry out in shame!"
 * "Please do taste it, so that my passion does not wither alone in a pot of loneliness!"
 * "No! My heart cries out in the salty pain of misery! That was my masterbeast!"
 * "And now it is gone, and I am left with tears of horror in my eyes!"
 * "A mystery, you just said? ...And, uh, um, er, exactly... what kind of dish is that?"

Cleftor

 * "Grack! Cleftor no like make friend with [Mario|mustache]]."
 * "No lonely... Him too weak... Now him not here. Sound normal to Cleftor."

Cortez

 * "Enough! I grow tired of this spooky 'OoOoO' business! I am a pirate, blast it! Pirates do not MOAN! I am a cold-blooded villain who robs innocents of life and loot, not a crying ghost!"
 * "I'll turn your mustache into a bone polisher, amigo! Yohohohohohohohohoho!"
 * "Now you will see the true might of my spirit form!"
 * "Yohohohohohohohohoho! You are foolish, amigo! For I am not dead! Well, technically, I was already dead...but my spirit endures, tied to my treasure! So you cannot do anything to me! I do not live, amigo! Still, guarding this treasure for hundreds of years is almost as boring as death!"
 * "Huh?!? You want this, amigo?"
 * "This little rock over here? Are you serious?"
 * "Well, that's no big deal... Here, take it."
 * "What do I need one or two extra gems for? I did not really like that one, anyway."
 * "Well, that should do it! If you don't need anything else, away with you, amigo!"
 * "...Oh, what? It is you again? Did you forget something?"
 * "WHAAAT? What would possess me to lend you my ship?"
 * "...And who are you, anyway?"
 * "What are you talking about, muchacho? I do not rent this ship for pleasure cruises!"
 * "And even if I would lend it to you...this ship is magical, and it cannot move now..."
 * "The key to powering this ship is the mystical Skull Gem..."
 * "YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU! You have the Skull Gem!"
 * "...Old friend? Your ancestors stole that gem from me, you strutting peacock!"
 * "You must be very brave or very, VERY foolish to ask such a thing of me!"
 * "I should turn you into a pinata and throw a party on the beach!"
 * "RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGH! You rattle my bones, Senor Peacock!"
 * ".........Very well. I accept your bargain, amigo! Now, be very careful with that gem!"
 * "Ahhhh! Now my precious Black Skull will sail the seas again!"
 * "I was getting quite annoyed by the sound of cannons outside, anyway!"
 * "Now I can really stretch my bones and wreak havoc on the seas like in the old days!"
 * "It's been a millennium since I gazed out upon the sea! Come! To the open waters!"
 * "You fire cannons here...without my permission? You have nerve, mortal!"
 * "Hear my voice, spirits! Take their ship and show them the meaning of fear!"
 * "You... You have distinguished yourself in battle, amigo!"
 * "You are worthy in my eyes! You may use this ship, the Black Skull, anytime you like"
 * "Ready, amigos? Cast off!"
 * "That reminds me, amigo... If you ever get the urge to return to Keelhaul Key, just say the word, okay?"
 * "I will send you to the island faster than the fastest winds blow, comprende?"

Dark Bones

 * "Let those who would disturb her sleep fall into the depths of endless darkness..."

Dark Craw

 * "Foolish mortals... I will drag you through the gate to the netherworld!"

Darkly

 * "Hi there! The name's Darkly. Do you guys need something?"
 * "Huh? You want to know how to get through the pipe to Twilight Town?"
 * "Couldn't be easier! You just need to have something that has your name written on it. Don't you have anything that has your name written on it? C'mon, everyone does!"
 * "No? Really? OK. Hang on. I'll write it for you. What's your name?"
 * "Mario, huh? OK... I'll write it here on the seat of your overalls. M-A-R-I-O, right?"
 * "There! Perfect-a-mundo! While I'm at it, I'll write your partner's name, too. What's your name?"
 * "I don't know what errand is taking you to Twilight Town, but I hope it goes well. I'll be rooting for you!"

Dazzle

 * "My name is Dazzle! And I collect Star Pieces! The more I collect, the happier I am! So, guy, if you have any Star Pieces, I'll trade you my badges for them! Yay! Come on! Let's trade!"
 * "Hey, guy! Come on, now! Can't we trade some more?"
 * "What? You changed your mind? So...LAME!!!"

Dead Bone

 * "We're gonna take the skin off YOUR bones!"

Doe T.

 * Ah... Now, this is a problem."
 * "...Eh? What's that you say? Ah! ou could help me?"
 * "Exellent! Just marvelous! I was ust about to give up on the whole deal."
 * "I came to the woods just to see the Great Tree, but the thugs up ahead scared me. Contending with the goons is not part of my repertoire, so to speak, so I've stalled here. Do you suppose you could give all the goons up ahead a proper trashing for me?"
 * "Well, I'll be waiting here until you do. Thanks in advance, chum."
 * "Done already, eh? Marvelous! I can finally see the Great Tree! I'm in your debt, sir! It isn't much, but, I hope this will do for your troubles. It's my change for lunch..."
 * "Perhaps I'll see you up ahead."
 * "Ah, the Great Tree... As you watch us folishly continue to repet history.. What could yu think of us? You can do nothing but stand and watch our ignorance. No! What rot! To assume that a tree can do nothing! That only proves my own foolishness!"

Don Pianta

 * "What's wid you, wise guy? I ain't too jolly today ... If you got a beef, spit it out quick or dis is gonna hurt."
 * "Ex-CUSE me? You want a ... You want me to give you a ticket for da blimp? See, now, to me, dat's funny ... You a stand-up comedian? No? You oughta be. You got some nerve askin' me for dat. I'm Don Pianta! I make cryin' babies weep!"
 * "Not so fast, boys. I like dis kid's gumption. He just came to talk, no? Dat ain't a crime. So we talk. You boys can wait 'til we're done before you rough him up, you got it? So, I gotta assume you gotta reason for wantin' a ticket for da blimp. Out wid it!"
 * "What's dat? You wanna help some broad what got herself kidnapped? An' to rescue dis dame, you're out collectin' da Crystal Stars?"
 * "Everybody, just ... shut it. I don't care if da treasure is real or not. Get me? But I tell ya, I can't help but like a guy who wants to rescue some skirt he fell for. I made my decision! You do me a little...favor...an' you get your blimp ticket. Sounds fair, right?"
 * "It's easy. It's nothin'. It's less dan nothin'. See, da thing is... My own daughter...eloped wit' one of my young...associates. Dey vanished...but it wasn't too long ago dat dey did. Dey oughta still be nearby. You gotta find my daughter, Francesca, an' dis... Frankie...an' bring dem both here. If you are unable to bring dem here, then alls you gotta do is tell me where dey are. Then I shall settle dis matter quickly, an' wid what is known as extreme prejudice."
 * "QUIET, YOU! It's 'cause you lugs can't find her dat I gotta swallow my pride an' ask dis guy!!! I hope you dopes ain't makin' complaints 'bout my decision. You makin' complaints?"
 * "Good. I'm glad we're all of full understandin' for one another."
 * "So it's settled, yeah? Find my daughter an' her...friend. Den come see me. Francesca and Frankie look like dis:"
 * "An' just so we're clear here... If you don't find my daughter, your luck may turn terrible..."
 * "Oh. Look who's come back. Da proverbial mustache. You gonna brighten my mood? So give. What you got? You know da whereabouts of dese two runaways?"
 * (Sure do. And I'll tell you.)
 * "Oh, is dat a true fact? Rogueport Harbor, eh? Well done. I appreciate dis favor you done for me. I'll prepare your blimp tickets."
 * "Hey! Hey! You two nimrods! Da kids are at da harbor! NOW GO GET 'EM!"
 * (Uh... I can't tell you that.)
 * "What? I must be goin' deaf. Did you just say to me dat you couldn't tell me? You come waltzin' in here an' say that to me? To ME!? Do I look like a sucker to you?"
 * "I warned you, wise guy! Fine! We're gonna need a mop to pick up what's left of you!"
 * "Frankie! So! Back you come, head hung low an' wit' your tail between your legs!"
 * "Oh look. Da proverbial mustache."
 * "Hey! It's you again! Y'know, the sky goin' dark was nothin' at all."
 * "It was great for us! You shouda seen the way people were blowin' their dough!"

Doopliss

 * "Hey, hang on, there, Slick! What are you doing, interrupting my 'ME' time?"
 * "Who're you calling a monster? What's your problem? Why do you need to pick a fight? I'm busy thinking up new pranks and stuff! It's not easy, either! Now get lost! ...Of course, you guys WON'T. No way you ninnies go away quietly, am I right?"
 * "How do you like them apples? Now that's MAGIC, people! Now you're fighting yourself! Ha! I'm a dang genius!"
 * "Yeah, you're Mario, right? What a great name! And I really dig this body, too! MAN can I jump now! And hey! You're so popular around here! I get mobbed! I just love being you! Yeah, it's so cool, I don't think I EVER wanna stop!"
 * "All right, kids, put on your fighting gloves! Uh... Woo hoo! It's-a me!"
 * "Very good, my loyal ones. How dare this nameless nobody challenge the great Mario?!?"
 * "This whole Zip Toad thing was just a means to an end! It's me, suckers! Doopliss!"
 * "Yuk yuk yuk! I guess I'll get down and dirty if you're gonna play like that, Slick!"
 * "Wrongamundo, little nobody! Who'd name their kid that? Prepare for doom, Slick! Yuk yuk yuk! And don't even think about running from battle, hear? NO RUNNING!"

Dupree

 * "Ah, bonjour, mademoiselle. Eet eez a beautiful day, no?"
 * "No, no, no, no, no. Not you, Monsieur Mustache. I am speaking to zee lovely leetle cabbage behind you."
 * "What do you say, my pretty? Abandon zis dullard and come away with moi!"
 * "Oh! Oh! Oh! Sacre bleu! Such brutal 'onesty! Such a sharp tongue!"
 * "Well, I retreat for now. If you change your mind, cheri, come find me!"

Eve

 * "Have you met with Podley? Not yet, I see… Please meet with Podley and ask how he feels about me. Please, Mario!"
 * "Have you met with Podley? Really… What did he say?"
 * (Tell her the truth.)
 * "So Podley has forgotten about me… Sniff… That's fine… I guess I was just feeling nostalgic… I'll probably forget about it. You know… I have these little ones to think of…so I have plenty to keep my mind busy…"
 * (Make something up, quick!)
 * "Oh, Podley… I knew our love could never die! Thank you…but no more! I'm a different person now. Yes, a devoted mother… Just knowing he feels the same is enough for me to know joy for all of my days. Thank you so much, Mario. You've breathed new life into this old girl's heart…"
 * "Oh, we're having a feast tonight, kids! I have special dinners from Zess T.'s shop! Mario, you have one, too! …Oh, Mario, your inventory is full… Well, I'll just leave this here for you to grab whenever you can."

Excess Express conductor

 * "Mario, won't you please look for the unticketed passenger and get that blanket back?"
 * (I don't have time)
 * "Oh, really… That's too bad… I guess I'll just huddle under a candy wrapper…"

Excess Express waitress

 * "So, are you maybe ready to help me out now?"
 * (No)
 * "You are not cool."
 * "Gooooood moooooooorning! ☆ So, any chance you've seen my Shell Earrings anywhere?"
 * "Did you see that Zip Toad came to last night's dinner? But I really have to say… he's like, waaaaaaaaay cuter on the big screen… Maybe they all are? ☆"

Fahr Outpost mayor

 * "Now, everyone in!"
 * "It is time! Big bomb cannon... FIIIRE!"

Flavio

 * "And what do you want, ah? Who, me, you ask about? Ah! I am called Flavio. I am, how you say? A trader. The richest man in Rogueport. Monetary wealth gives me freedom, yes, and freedom gives me wealth of spirit! And yet...why is it that a man whose life is unchained must always long for yet more, ah? What is missing from my life? This tears at my very insides! I must know! What do I lack?"
 * "I growl at you like an angry jungle beast! I ought to..."
 * "No. Not fair. Flavio hate you all."
 * "What? You want me to give you the Chuckola Cola? Ha! I must scoff at you!"
 * "Yes, having my beautiful S.S. Flavion smashed to bits was not a financial boon, hm?"

Flurrie

 * "Ahhh! These woods are the most wonderful in all the world. Yes, indeed!"
 * "Building a house here was just the FINEST idea I ever did have. Oh, my, yes! ♡"
 * "This place is so different from the bright flashbulbs of the world I'm used to..."
 * "Such peace... This negative image of the real world soothes my body and soul."
 * "But what's even better...is that I, Madame Flurrie, grow ever more lovely here!"
 * "Plus, those squishy, adorable little Punies that live in that tree are SO nice to me!"
 * "But...I suppose if I stay here too long, I'll begin to crave hustle and bustle before long!"
 * "Oh! Oh, my! It's happening even as I speak! Already I feel the need for drama! ♡"
 * "That moment of exhilaration when the spotlight shines down on the stage...on me!"
 * "Surely I was born to be...an actress for the ages! ♡"
 * "It's settled, then. I shall rise again! But...before I make my stage comeback... I simply must whip my body and mind into shape. ♡"
 * "I'll just have to put on some makeup and make my beauty even more beautiful."
 * "Wait a moment... Noooooooooooooo! It's gone! Gone I tell you! My... My..."
 * "Eeeeek! No! Out of the question! You mustn't come in here! ♡"
 * "Oh! Wait a moment... Those darling, squishy little footsteps... Is that you, Punio?"
 * "Oh, it's been an AGE since I saw you last! You poor dear! Is there something you need?"
 * "Oh... Is that all, dearie? You came all the way here just for that?"
 * "My adorable little Punio... You know I would do anything in my power to help you."
 * "However, lamentably... I'm in a bit of a bind myself. I just cannot come out."
 * "It's somewhat embarrassing...but I never go out without my favorite necklace."
 * "I just can't find the blessed thing! I suspect I dropped it on my daily constitutional."
 * "I'd be simply SCANDALIZED if anyone saw me without it, so I shan't be going out."
 * "I absolutely MUST have that neckalace to highlight my beauty, and that's that!"
 * "What's that? DO speak up! You! Whoever just spoke! Do you have some clue as to my necklace's whereabouts?"
 * "Building a house here was just the FINEST idea I ever did have. Oh, my, yes! ♡"
 * "If you do, you must help me! Please! Be a dear! Find it and bring it back to me!"
 * "If you could, then I'd be delighted to help my squishy little friend, Punio. ♡"
 * "I'm sorry to trouble you so. ♡"
 * "Please! You must find my precious necklace! I'm counting on you! ♡"
 * "Oh! You delightful fellow! You've found my necklace! I'm beside myself, truly! ♡"
 * "But...you still mustn't see me. Please, leave the necklace by the door and wait a moment."
 * "Oh, splendid, SPLENDID! My oh-so-ravishing necklace! I'm awash with joy! ♪"
 * "Oh! Oh...my...word! Mario, isn't it! Are YOU my heroic little necklace hunter?"
 * "Well! My, my, my... Aren't you a FINE specimen of a man? Yes, indeed! ♡"
 * "I simply MUST thank you for your graciousness! ♡"
 * "But how to do it? Hmmm... Perhaps if I...grabbed you and gave you a little sugar? ♡"
 * "Here I come, handsome! Time to give you a proper thank-you! Pucker up! ♡"
 * "Oh, Mario, you are just the CUTEST little thing I've ever laid eyes on! ♡"
 * "Yes you are, and that's that. So tell me, are you truly looking for the Crystal Stars?"
 * "The very same Crystal Stars spoken of by all the lowlifes in Rogueport?"
 * "Mmmm... A danger-filled search for beautiful jewels... How absolutely marvelous!"
 * "And here I was thinking how frightfully bored I was! It's time for a change!"
 * "And besides, I do declare... That plush mustache of yours has completely swooned me!"
 * "A man as manly as you must attract all sorts of trouble, and I want to keep you safe!"
 * "So, I daresay I'll be joining you on this little adventure. I assume that's fine, Mario? ♡"
 * "Excuse me? We must what? Are you a friend of Mario’s? Oh, wait… I see. And I most certainly do NOT approve!"
 * "Oh, mercy me! Mario! You’re popular with all the girls, aren’t you?"
 * "Well! Don’t worry, Mario! I’m not TOO jealous. What a shamelss flirt, though!"
 * "Say, if you have a moment… Might I ask a question? We’re looking for a lovely gem called a Crystal Star… Do you know of it?"
 * "My goodness! Would you look at that! A pipe leading down. Let’s see where it leads!"
 * "Oh, what a PRECIOUS little thing! He hasn’t done anything wrong. Mario, we simply must go easy on the poor dear."
 * "Oh, what ails you, my little pudding pie? He seems so lonely, doesn’t he, Mario? Why, he looks like I do when I step into the spotlight and then forget my very first line. Oooh… Hold up, now! You know what? I believe he might wish to join us!"
 * "My! Such wonderful drama! I imagine we have to do something now, don’t we?"
 * "Pardon me a moment! Don’t these odd columns look somewhat familiar?"
 * "Oh, I feel I might swoon! What was that, I wonder?"
 * "Oh, dear me! Mario! Isn’t that the Crystal Star?"
 * "Oh, dear! That wretched beast again! Dearie me!"
 * "I must say, I craved exciting times, but I never expected this! Let’s go, quickly now!"
 * "Ahem! You’ll do no such thing!"
 * "Honestly, did you really think we'd let a wretch like you escape? I DO believe you will be handing over that Crystal Star and promptly exiting this tree!"
 * "Mercy me! That metal colossus is incredible! … And yet… There’s something rather odd about it… Let’s just keep our eyes peeled! Don’t be careless!"
 * "A rousing success, Mario! How delightful!"
 * "Oh, this shan’t be our last visit, Certainly not! But… Until then, ta-ta!"
 * "Oh, mercy me! Sounds like some mail!"
 * "Isn’t that precious, Mario?"
 * "Now, my little Mario! It’s Crystal Star time!"
 * "Oh, mercy me! The next Crystal Star has made an entrance! My, my, my! But… Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it up in the sky? What does THAT mean?"
 * "Perhaps I’m just daft, but why would they want to seal this treasure away at all? Did they fear thieves and brigands? If not, then what?"
 * "Hm? That’s not what?"
 * "Frankly, please!"
 * "Oh, yes. How inappropriate. In any case, what about the location of this Crystal Star that’s floating on the map? A floating city, you say? So, are we just supposed to sprout wings and fly there, darling? Do tell."
 * "Oooh! That sounds exciting! A little…on the seedy side. Show me the way!"
 * "Mmmm… I like the sound of this Don Pianta fellow. I cannot WAIT to meet him!"
 * "Bite your tongue! Don’t listen to that lout! The treasure is as real as I am!"
 * "I’m not entirely sure I like the sound of this…"
 * "Oh, whatever should we do? We have to day SOMETHING to that Don Pianta fellow… I must say, though… I don’t fancy a run of terrible luck. That would be unfortunate."
 * "My, my! We’ve done it, Mario! Next stop, Glitzville!"
 * "My, my, my! Glitzville! I’ve heard that the Glitz Pit is just full of brawny brawls! I must admit, the prospect of some hurly-burly gets me a touch piqued! ♡"
 * "Now, darling, let’s find that Crystal Star, hmm?"
 * "Oh, dear me! What a positively glorious venue! Oh, mercy, Mario! Look there! Those two brutes are about to have at each other!"
 * "Oh, my word! Mario! On that uncouth bird’s belt! Is that a Crystal Star?"
 * "Yes, I do believe it is! That wonderful sparkle is yet another Crystal Star! …But such a tawdry place to find it… Why would it be here, of all places?"
 * "Oh, whatever shall we do? I don’t fancy the idea of stealing that fellow’s belt… What shall we do, Mario?"
 * (Steal that thing!)
 * "Oh, Mario, you adorable man! You do love to joke! We’ll do no such thing. I must say, I only see one way to get what we seek. Yes, just one… You must best this champion and take the belt with the power of your machismo!"
 * (Battle our way to the top!)
 * "Oh, you darling man, I’m SO happy to hear you say that! I’d expect nothing less! You’re ten times the man of anyone here! You’ll be champion in no time! ♡"
 * "Let’s move on then, shall we? Our next step is to become official fighters, I imagine. Ooh, my heart is positively THUMPING! Let’s find whoever is in charge, this minute!"
 * "What sort of base cowards attack before the match officially begins? Honestly!"
 * "Come on, Mario, darling! We shan’t lose to lowlifes! Let’s teach them a lesson!"
 * "Here we go, darling! Time to shine!"
 * "Mario, darling… Are you quite ready?"
 * "Why, that was no fuss whatsoever!"
 * "Anytime you care for another lesson, we’ll be here! ♡"
 * "Hmmm, now? You wish for us to help you, you darling little egg?"
 * "Mario, hon, what do you think we ought to do?"
 * (Help the little guy!)
 * "A positively endearing choice, Mario, not that I expected any less. We shall free him!"
 * (Let there be Hot Dogs!)
 * "Mario, you wash your mouth out right this instant! How DARE you frighten this egg! Well, I never… Little eggy, you just ignore the scary man, OK? We will let you go."
 * "You, Mr. Proprietor! Would you allow us to free this poor soul?"
 * "Well, that’s just lovely! You’re free to do whatever you like, dear egg! Farewell!"
 * "Hmmm? What is it now, dear? You wish to accompany us, you adorable little thing?"
 * "I daresay this little dumpling wants to stay with us, Mario. What shall we do?"
 * (OK, it can follow us.)
 * "You’re all clear, little one! But do try not to get underfoot, all right?"
 * (No. Jumping eggs bug me.)
 * "Mario, you awful, awful man. Why must you torment him? We simply MUST take him in!"
 * "Good gracious, we’ll make the major league if we prevail! I like our chances!"
 * "Oh, mercy me! Mario… That adorable little egg seems to have disappeared. Where could the little fellow have gotten himself to?"
 * "Why, you little rapscallion! You hatched from that egg? Well, aren’t you precious! ♡"
 * "Come on, now, sugar pie! Let’s teach these hooligans a thing or two this time!"
 * "Oh! Gracious me, Mario! Sounds like you’ve another e-mail! What is it this time?"
 * "Ah, that X fellow again? Now he’s directing us to some “watering hole,” hmmm? I do wonder who this gentleman is…"
 * "Mario, darling! E-mail call!"
 * ""The blockade in the minor-league locker room," hmm? What could be behind it?"
 * "Good gracious! That’s a report investigating the Crystal Stars! Someone was doing scientific studies on the Crystal Stars. My, it even has pictures!"
 * "I have to wonder about why someone would leave this out for us to find…"
 * "Oh, my, she doesn’t like us, does she? And we worked so hard getting that paper…"
 * "It’s not a total loss, dear. At the very least, we know the Crystal Star is nearby."
 * "Oh, my! That looks delightful! I see no reason why you shouldn’t treat yourself!"
 * (Eat)
 * "Good-bye, diet! ♡"
 * (Don’t eat)
 * "Well, if you say so, dear. I suppose cake isn’t exactly the ideal athlete’s food. ♡"
 * "My word! Who would expect THAT lout to show up here? My goodness gracious!"
 * "Mail call, dearie!"
 * "Ah, our mysterious friend! Where to this time? A telephone booth outside? Yes, I believe I saw a booth out there somewhere… Let’s take a stroll."
 * "That chicken is rather rude. I hardly think it’s necessary to resort to threats… But wait a moment… Could it be that the nasty e-mail came from him? I suppose we can’t know. And regardless of who sent it, we must be more careful."
 * "Now we’re to break into the storage room? Mercy! This fellow seems to like making us run about… I can’t say I approve."
 * "Why, if it isn’t the young lady felon! I don’t approve of you following Mario, dear. You’ve grown careless, too. Did you know that Security heard you making noise here?"
 * "Are you absolutely sure? You didn’t make just a little bit of noise, dear?"
 * "My! You ARE brazen, aren’t you, dearie?"
 * "Well, I daresay she IS a thief, hm? She certainly stole your lips with ease, Mario! But that’s hardly important… What might she have meant by “poor souls upstairs”?"
 * ""The staircase switch"? Am I to understand there’s a staircase hidden in here?"
 * "Good gracious me! Did you hear what I just heard? Missing fighters? How absolutely heartrending! That poor, sweet King K… I just assumed he had retired to his hometown…"
 * "Mercy! My, that was close! I say, though, Mario, when that Grubba gentleman spoke of the Crystal Star… I couldn’t help but notice that Ms. Jolene acted a touch strange… Well, I do believe that we’d best make ourselves scarce before we’re found!"
 * "Oh, dear, our surly friend… For such a pill, he does seem to know a fair bit. Between the Crystal Star and those poor, missing fighters… This fellow seems to know everything we’ve been trying to find out! But who is he?"
 * "My, my, that DOES look good! Why don’t we just go ahead and have ourselves a bite! ♡"
 * (Eat)
 * "Ooh, serve it up! ♡"
 * "Oh, my that is delectable! Just a minute, darling… I saved a bit for you…"
 * "Oh! I seem to be having a bit of an allergic reaction! I’m feeling rather numb…"
 * "Why, I’m feeling tip-top again! Fine job, winning the day even without me, dear! Even so… A poisoned cake… Our lives are in danger. I simply MUST be more careful from now on."
 * (Don’t eat)
 * "No? You bizarre man, whyever not? You’ve no need to watch your weight!"
 * "Incidentally, darling… Did you notice this poor soul on the floor?"
 * "I daresay that cake was poisoned! Had we eaten it, we’d have ended up like that poor fellow there!"
 * "My, my, my, it’s mail time! Now, who might it be from?"
 * "Oh, is it from X this time? He still sounds rather untrustworthy, but still… He wants us to peel off the lobby posters bearing your likeness, does he? Well, I suppose we must."
 * "Whatever could that key be for?"
 * "OH, MY WORD! What on earth is this?!? Bandy Andy, you poor dear! And King K! How awful!"
 * "Andy, honey, just hang on! Why would we have to avoid the ring, now?"
 * "My word, did you see that? I do believe that was young Ms. Jolene! What in the world is going on here?"
 * "Pardon me, sir, but I do believe you’re taking us the wrong way…"
 * "Sir, I really must protest… Where are we off to?"
 * "Mercy me, we’re back in a minor-league locker room! And it’s deserted! He DID say to wait here… But, darling, I can’t help but think we’ll miss our match!"
 * "Well, my dear, I’d say we’re now officially VERY late. Let’s find out what’s what."
 * "Oh, my goodness gracious! We’ve been locked in, Mario! We’re trapped here!"
 * "Correct me if I’m wrong, darling, but won’t we forfeit if we don’t show up? There simply MUST be a way out of this place!"
 * "Darling, I tried it earlier. It’s quite firmly locked."
 * "Drat! Locked as well!"
 * "I should like to request that we NEVER do that again. In any case, to the arena!"
 * "Well, I daresay we’ve made it in time! And it sounds like the fans approve! Ah, it reminds me so much of my time on stage! Let’s go give that chicken what for!"
 * "Well, here we are, dear. At last, we fight the champ. Let’s take him, shall we?"
 * "Whatever does THAT mean, you awful chicken? Am I to understand that it was you who got the security guard to lock us away?"
 * "So, it was you, after all! You sent those threats about the Crystal Star!"
 * "Mario, darling, we’ve finally done it! We beat that lout! But… I daresay that chicken truly had no clue about the Crystal Star… We’re still in dire straits as far as the real one goes. Wherever could it be?"
 * "Oh, my! Mario, darling… I do believe I hear a voice coming from somewhere…"
 * "Might it be…a ghost?"
 * "Oh, I almost swooned! That Mailbox SP is going to be the death of me!"
 * "So, if that’s to be believed, there’s really a ghost here? That’s rather unsettling…"
 * "Isn’t this the air duct? Where does it lead?"
 * "Why, that voice belongs to Grubba! Could he have made those poor souls disappear?"
 * "I do believe he’s gone… Now, wasn’t there something in his desk drawer?"
 * "Oh, my! Is that the paper Grubba said he’d hid? Let’s have a look."
 * "Mercy! A machine under the ring using the Crystal Star? These are the blueprints! I can scarcely understand this paper, but I believe the Crystal Star powers it! If this paper’s correct, then the machine can suck the power out of folks! Oh, no… Is it possible that King K and Bandy Andy were, well…drained?"
 * "You shut your trap, sir! You drained the life from those poor souls!"
 * "Mario, darling! We must chase him down!"
 * "My goodness! Mario, there’s the Crystal Star!"
 * "Using innocent fighters and a Crystal Star just to improve your looks? You're despicable."
 * "Oh, my! He got quite a bit larger, didn’t he?"
 * "All right, let’s finish this nasty business right now! Come on, Mario, dear!"
 * "Why, Ms. Jolene!"
 * "Ah, so our mysterious X was..."
 * "The poor dear really seemed aloof, but in fact, she just loved her brother so!"
 * "Mario, darling, look there! The Crystal Star!"
 * "Mercy me! So THAT’s what the Crystal Star’s capable of!"
 * "Truly? You don’t mind if we take it?"
 * "Well, darling, you needn’t hesitate! Take it!"
 * "How marvelous! Now we have three of those Crystal Stars! I suggest we make haste for Rogueport, wouldn’t you say?"
 * "Mario, dear! Look alive! That may well be an e-mail from Princess Peach!"
 * "They wish to rule the world? Well, I refuse to bow to such megalomaniacs!"
 * "Mmmm... A bit to the left... ♡"
 * "'Big deal'? You foul boor! What ever would possess you to do something so mean?"
 * "Oh, mercy! Was that it? This fellow was so easy! I was rather expecting more. Well, I suppose we got the Crystal Star, so let's leave immediately, hmm?"
 * "How could I mistake my dear Mario for another? Silly Flurrie!"
 * "Oh, I do believe it is YOU who will fall today, dear! Let’s settle this, hmm?"
 * "Let's leave these louts, Mario..."
 * "So, this gentlemen is the leader of those X–Nauts?"
 * "So, that last Crystal Star we found on the Moon... NO! What have we done?"
 * "Mario, do be careful, dear! This fellow looks like he means business!"
 * "We shan't let that happen!"
 * "Mario, what shall we do, darling? We cannot bow down to her!"
 * "Now that's just senseless... Are we to betray all of those who believed in us?"
 * "Time to pay for all of your ills!"
 * "My dear, dear, Mario. I am ready to make my comeback in the theatre, now! I've found so many things on this journey that I could only express on stage. Please do come to see me once we've finished rehearsing. And bring Peach, too, dear!"
 * "Well, I never! How rude! Go get your eyes checked, young man! I am a PRIZE!"
 * "Mercy! Such anger!"

Francesca

 * "Hey, back off, you creep! You want something, or you just like sliding up to people?"
 * "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!? Daddy asked you to find us? And take us to him?!?"
 * "Frankie, what should we do? If Daddy finds us now... Oh, I don't know...and the boat's coming any minute..."
 * "No, Frankie! Don't say that! Don't you know what he'll do to you if we do that?"
 * "Oh, Frankie... My Frankie... Don't you love me?"
 * "Then let's go, Frankie! Let's run! To the ends of the earth if we have to!"
 * "We can, Frankie! The more you try to put out the flames of love, the hotter they burn! Until I marry you, no one will extinguish these flames of passion! NO ONE!!!"
 * "Don't you see, Mister? I beg you: pretend you never saw us! Can you do that?"
 * "Oh, thank you! Thank you! You're swell, Mister! You're a real stand-up guy!"
 * "Daddy, wait!"
 * "No, Daddy! Don't hurt him! I'm the one who said we should elope. It was ME! But Frankie said no! He said we should come back and talk to you, Daddy!"
 * "No, Daddy! No! No! No! I'm the bad one. It's my fault! If you're going to punish anyone, punish me!"
 * "Daddy!"
 * "Daddy!!!"
 * "Oh, Daddy!!!!!!!!!!"
 * "Thank you so much, Daddy! Thanks for your blessing!"
 * "Good-bye, Daddy! Farewell! And thank you!"
 * "Hey! Aren't you Mario?!?"
 * "It's me! Me! Don Pianta's daughter! Francesca! And Frankie's here, too!"
 * "After my dad forgave us, we set out on a trip... The ship we were on got a little too close to this island...and now look at us! Still, I'm amazed the rumors about Cortez were all true! ...Which means... he's nearby!"
 * "Hey, so, by the way... Why are YOU here? Don't tell me Daddy had you come here to take us back!"
 * "What?!? You're after the pirate's treasure because it might contain a Crystal Star? Well, I think the treasure is right in there, watched by Cortez's spirit... Yeah.... I'm sure you'll be able to take care of him, though! You look tough! Besides, Cortez is the one that trapped us on that raft, so smack him one for me!"
 * "Oh, hi there...Mario. What brings you back here? Can we do something for you?"
 * "Oh, poor Daddy! Oh, no... And at a time like this..."
 * "You see, I... I just dropped the wedding ring Frankie gave me around here... I can't possibly leave until I find that ring! Otherwise something might eat it! It must be somewhere between here and that skull rock!"
 * "NO!!! You have to say it 99 more times, Frankie!"
 * "Oh, Frankie, baby... You're such a silly billy! Hee hee hee!"
 * "AAAAAAH! THAT'S IT!!! THAT'S [{Wedding Ring|MY RING]]!!! YOU FOUND IT!!!"
 * "Frankie! Now we can go home to Daddy!"
 * "...Well, so, anyway... We'll be down at the dock. Hurry back, please!"
 * "Ohhhhhh, Daddy! Please hang on until we get there!"
 * "We have to go see Daddy immediately!"
 * "Daddy! Daddy! DADDY! Wake up! Open your eyes!"
 * "DADDY!"
 * "Of COURSE we did, Daddy! As soon as we heard you were ill, we dropped everything and rushed back!"

Frankie

 * "Dollface... Maybe we oughta head back and try to talk to da boss one more time."
 * "Francesca... Babydoll... If we can just talk calm-like wit' da boss,he'll understand."
 * "Of course I love Francescayou, sugar cookie. More dan anybody in da whole world!"
 * "But, butter biscuit... Dey already found us out. We can't keep runnin' forever."
 * "Boss! Forgive me, Boss! I-I'm sorry! Truly, I am!"
 * "Boss! Listen, I don't care what you do to me! I deserve it all for bein' disloyal! But you gotta forgive her. Forgive your daughter, Boss! Dat's all I ask."
 * "No, Boss! It's all on me. It's my responsibility! All da blame, right here."
 * "Boss!"
 * "Boss!!!"
 * "Dad! ...No! Wait, I mean... BOSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
 * "Boss! I'll make your daughter a happy woman! I promise you! She'll want for nothin'!"
 * "What?!? Da boss is sick?!?"
 * " Listen for a second, my fuzzy little coconut... Shouldn't we forget about dat ring for now an' check on da boss?"
 * "Of course, I love you... My little bacon burger!"
 * "100 TIMES?"
 * "Oh... C'mon now, babe... Of course I love you, my little short stack... Now please, let's go."
 * "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Fine, you crazy dame! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!"
 * "I love you!"
 * "Huff...heeeeef...hoooooooof... There, I said it..."
 * "......... Now, my little cream puff... Let's find dat ring right away, whaddaya say?"
 * "We sure can, my little cheese 'n' cracker! Let's go!"
 * "OK, Mario... I think we're ready, pal. Yeah, we are. Let's go back to Rogueport!"
 * "You got it, Francesca!"
 * "BOSS!"
 * "Whaaaaat?? B-But...Boss! You still got it in ya! You're a spring chicken! You don't gotta do dis! And, I mean... Me? Boss?"

Fuzzy

 * "Meeeeork! Meeeeeeork! We'll suck up your SOULS! MEEEEEORK!"

Garf

 * "You took on my trouble? You? OK. Then please find my key, and be quick about it!"
 * "If someone else finds my key, they'll be able to get in my house, so I'll stand guard."
 * "I think I dropped my key when I went to the badge shop, but I'm not sure..."
 * "Did you find my key?"
 * "Yes! My key!!!"
 * "I can finally get inside my house again! Home, sweet home! Thank you!"
 * "Please take this as payment for your efforts, all right?"

General White

 * "Now get moving! Hut-hut!"
 * "Hut! Leave it to me!"
 * "Now, men! You know the drill! Load the big bomb cannon!"
 * "Bring guidance system online!"
 * "System check!"
 * "Prepare for detonation sequence!"
 * "Open outer hatch!"
 * "Open inner shutter!"
 * "Elevate! On my mark!"
 * "Sighting! Target is the moon!"
 * "Target locked! Chamber hatch open!"
 * "Close chamber hatch!"
 * "Conditions all green! Standby... OK!"

Ghost T.

 * "...So you've found me. Well, as you see, I'm a ghost. I'm cursed to haunt this place. A blanket? Well, yes, the conductor did leave one here. He didn't realize that I'm a ghost. A yummy, sticky threat? No, I left no such thing. I can't even hold physical objects like pen and paper. What? You just want the blanket, then? Well, I'll tell you where it is if you do something for me. What do you say?"
 * (Fine!)
 * "All I need is......YOOOOOUR LIIIIFE!!! ...No, just kidding... Actually… I passed away in this cabin many years ago… But I think my luggage is still in my baggage car here… Inside my bag is a diary I kept since my earliest childhood days… And my fear that someone would find and read it has kept me tied to this world! I can't leave this room, so can you please find it and bring it here? If you do that, I'll show you where the blanket is."
 * "Oh, so you'll help me, then?"
 * (I don't help ghosts.)
 * "I see… That is your choice. But then I can't tell you where the blanket is."
 * "And don't you even DARE read my diary!!! Because if you do… Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoooooo… A horrible fate awaits you."
 * "YOOOOOOUUUU LOOOOOOKED! EEEEEEVEN THOUGH I TOLD YOOOOOUUU NOT TOOOOOOO! NOW SEEEE WHAT HAPPENS!"
 * "It seems that there is someone in your room. I heard some rustling sounds in there a minute ago."

Gloomtail

 * "No one's disturbed me here in aeons!"
 * "Who dares defile this sacred place?!?"
 * "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!? You destroyed my precious younger sister?!? I wondered why she hadn't written recently... Quake in fear, mortals! For I am Gloomtail! I will avenge my sister by taking your lives...and then gnawing on your bones!"
 * "GWAAAAH HA HA HA HA! My first fresh meat in ages... Allow me to take my time... And toy with you for awhile!"
 * "Is it...true? Can I... expire?"

Goldbob

 * "Oh! Look! My heart trembles! The fountain… So elegant! This is art at its finest!"
 * "Yes, dearest. One cannot measure its worth by coins. That is what makes art, art. And yet…the filthy rich always seek to define art with their ill-gotten coins…"

Gold Fuzzy

 * "Meeeeeeeeeeeork!"
 * "Hey, you suspicious types!"
 * "This is our place. And coming in here is rude, rude, RUDE!"
 * "Sorry, suckers! If you want a warm welcome, too bad!"
 * "Now I lunch on your head!"
 * "Meee-OOOF! Hey! Ow! You chumps are tougher than you look..."
 * "But I'm not through yet! Everyone! GET 'EM!!!"
 * "Meeeeeeee-uuuuurgh! You got me!"

Goomba

 * ''"Hey! Hey, man! What's up? Who's the hottie you got there with you?
 * "Ouch! That was cold!"
 * "Oweeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Goombella

 * "You aren't going anywhere, Mr. Stinker!"
 * "Hey! What do you want?!? Get away from me, freak!!!"
 * "Never! I don't have anything to say to you creeps! Eww!"
 * "N–No! Stop right there, you weirdos! I'll scream! Really!"
 * "Like I'd go anywhere with smelly lunatics like you! Hmph! Not likely!"
 * "Battle time, Mister Man! Just find a way to beat this freak of the week, OK? Don't sweat the details. Just jump on him and hit him with your hammer!"
 * "Yes! You're doing awesome! Don't you let up!"
 * "Sweet! You KNOW that hurt! Wow, I gotta say, you're tougher than you look. Keep it up and you'll beat him in no time!"
 * "You've got him on the ropes! C'mon! Keep whaling on him!"
 * "You did it! You did it! YESSS! And you got Star Points!!!"
 * "Yeah, I bet you know, but you get these things called Star Points when you win battles. When you get 100 points, you'll go up a level. Don't forget that, OK?"
 * "Quick! This way!"
 * "Phew! What a bunch of loons! Let's just sneak out of here, what do you say?"
 * "Wow, Mister! You...totally saved me! Thanks! I have just GOT to give you a little reward!"
 * "My name's Goombella. I'm a student at the University of Goom. Nice to meet ya!"
 * "So, uh... Who are you?"
 * "...Mario? Wait, you mean, like, that famous guy? Wow! I can't believe I met you here!"
 * "Cool... Anyway, no offense, but it looks like you just rolled into town yourself. Right?"
 * "Me, I already HATE it here! There are freaks and weirdos EVERYWHERE! It's nasty! I mean, I know the place is called Rogueport, so I should have expected it, but sheesh!"
 * "I'd never come to a place like this if there weren't some legendary treasure here."
 * "What? You're looking for the legendary treasure, too? Seriously?"
 * "Whoa whoa WHOA, bucko! Whatcha got there?"
 * "Omigosh! Is… Isn't that a treasure map?! You HAVE to tell me where you got that!"
 * "...Princess Peach? What?"
 * "Um... Princess Peach? Did he mean, like, Peach, the Mushroom Kingdom princess?!? The princess who always gets nabbed by Bowser, the Koopa king? The one you rescue?"
 * "Wait a sec'! This is crazy! Princess...PEACH sent you that treasure map?"
 * "Whoa. This really intense. Well, where could she have gone, then, do you think? You think maybe she got sick of waiting and went to find the treasure on her own?"
 * "Oooh! Oooh! I know, Mario! Come with me! One of my professors is here researching that treasure. We'll him show him your map!"
 * "If we start looking for the treasure, then maybe we'll catch up to Princess Peach!"
 * "Great! We're all good, then! Let's go, Mario!"
 * "This is Rogueport Plaza. It's the center of town, and the main business district. It's a crossroads where many people meet, including more than a few shady characters."
 * "Anytime you press when there's no one around, I'll tell you about where we are!"
 * "That's Goomther the Goomba. He's always complaining about being swindled or mugged..."
 * "If you press when there's somebody nearby, I'll tell you about him or her!"
 * "So? Did you get all that?"
 * "First off, we gotta go find my professor. Thing is, since I just got to town myself...I, um, don't actually know where he lives."
 * ''"So keep an eye out! Here's what Professor Frankly looks like!
 * "Hey, by the way, Mario... Have you saved yet?"
 * "You see that Save Block in front of that inn? Since we're here, you oughta save now. Just jump up and hit the block to save, OK?"
 * "Hey! What's your beef, pal? YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU!"
 * "Mario! You gotta wake up! That guy just stole half of your coins!"
 * "That is SO lame! Ugh! I HATE this town!"
 * "Oh, hi! There you are! Professor Frankly!"
 * "Wow, yes, sir! That's me! I'm Goombella a junior at U Goom! Goooo GOOMBAS!"
 * "Mario! Professor, he's Mario! You know...the famous one!"
 * "We were hoping you'd tell us about the legendary treasure said to be below Rogueport! I thought that if anyone knew anything about it, you would, Professor Frankly..."
 * "Archaeologists and historians have to search for truth in those fairy tales, though!"
 * "Me, I believe the legendary treasure truly does exist! And I REALLY want to find it!"
 * "'To find the treasure of yore, take the seven Crystal Stars to the Thousand-Year Door!' ...You mean the Crystal Stars in that old saying that super-elderly people pass down?"
 * "'Hold the Magical Map aloft before the entrance to the Thousand-Year Door. Then the stars will light the way that leads to the stones of yesterday.' Yeah..."
 * "A lot of the lore I've read says that is this Magical Map is taken to the doorway...then it'll show you where to find the Crystal Stars!"
 * "But we DO have it, Professor! Or... Well, not 'we,' exactly... MARIO has the Magical Map!"
 * "Right on, Professor!"
 * "Oh, it is, like, SO sweet that you boys think I'm cute! Seriously! Yeah, guys like you make me feel like TOTALLY BARFING! Now get out of our way!"
 * "Ha! Later on, losers! That felt AWESOME!"
 * "Who knew the area under Rogueport extended so far? This place is a total maze! You really feel the grandness of that ancient civilization when you're down here..."
 * "Well, what do you think we oughta do, Mario?"
 * "So, uh... Wow. Just wow. What was THAT guy's beef?"
 * "Hey, what's the deal with this weird pedestal, huh? What could it be, you think?"
 * "Professor! What's going on!"
 * "Professor! The map!!! And what was with all those crazy lights?"
 * "You understand it, Professor?"
 * "A special move?"
 * "Petal Meadows?"
 * "OK, fine. So we'll go there. Does anybody know how to get there or what?"
 * "Y'know, Professor, there was another suspicious group asking about the same thing."
 * "Aren't you coming, Professor?"
 * "You got it, Professor!"
 * "Well, Mario, we're off!"
 * "Hey, Mario! You remember what Professor Frankly told us, right? You can press to change our attack order! If your HP drops, you can press  to put me in front!"
 * "Well, here we are! The Petal Meadows, where folks say a Crystal Star hides."
 * "Woo hoo! Here we go, Mario! The start of our adventure! This is completely awesome!"
 * "Whoa! What was that?"
 * "Ooh! Is that a... Wow! Mario! Look!!!"
 * "Totally incredible!... I've never seen anything that humongous before. It looked kinda scary, too. Weird... Professor Frankly said this place was peaceful."
 * "Wow! Crazy! We just started and, and already there's intrigue! C'mon, Mario! Let's go!"
 * "Oh! One more thing, Mario! If you ever find yourself like, wondering what to do... Just press and use my Tattle ability, okay? I might be able to look up some useful info that'll help us on our adventure!"
 * "Dragon? Hooktail? That must've been that huge thing we saw earlier, Mario! So it's called Hooktail, huh? Oooooh, scary name! Pffffft!"
 * "So anyway, Green Boots, have you ever heard of these things called Crystal Stars? We're on this quest for them. It's very important!"
 * "A pink house? Sounds totally hideous...but it should be easy to find. Thanks for your help."
 * "Ew! Are you kidding me? EW! Nice wig, you disco wannabe! Take a hike, Bozo the Dork!"
 * "What a total sleaze! Let's go somewhere else, Mario!"
 * "That's Koops, from Petalburg. He's got confidence issues... He's a...cringer, y'know? But he's definitely got a serious interest in Hooktail... I wonder why?"
 * "OOOOOO-K... That was weird... What do you think THAT was all about? Talk about issues!"
 * "So, Hooktail Castle, huh? Well… It sure is ominous, that’s for sure."
 * "What’s with these numbskulls? Ow! OWWW! Watch it, Pushy! They’re shoving me around, Mario! What should we do?"
 * "Mario! Look at that!"
 * "Ooh, this isn’t good… Hurry! Run for it!"
 * "Whoa! I mean, WHOA! That was seriously close! Well, whatever. We got the key, so let’s go open that weird chest."
 * "Who… Who are you?"
 * "I’ll tell you why, Miss Ugly-Pink-Shoe-Whatever-Thief: we’re here to beat Hooktail! And just so we’re clear on this, we set our sights on the Crystal Star before you! OK?"
 * "Shoot!"
 * "LET us?!? LET us?!? What’s that supposed to mean?"
 * "H-Hey! You little flirt! Who do you think you are, kissing Mario?!?"
 * "What is WITH that girl? What a flirt! Who acts so disgusting like that?"
 * "That’s just terrible!"
 * "That’s it! Enough of this! Let’s finish him off once and for all, Mario!"
 * "Yes! We did it, Mario! All we have to do now is search for that Crystal Star we can’t seem to locate."
 * "Mario? Are you OK? You’re totally shaking… Do you need a bathroom?"
 * "Ooh, is that a Mailbox SP? Cool! With the light? Hey, who’s that mail from?"
 * "Wow! Wait a second… Isn’t that from Princess Peach? THE princess? So that means she’s OK! At least she’s not hurt… But it sounds like whoever kidnapped Princess Peach is also after the Crystal Stars…"
 * "OK, Mario! You ready? Hold that Crystal Star up!"
 * "Ooh! Check it out, Mario! The location of the next Crystal Star has appeared. But, I… I… I have NO idea where that is! OK… I guess we oughta let Professor Frankly tell us where that place is."
 * "Yeah, great pun, C’mon! Where’s the next Crystal Star, Professor?"
 * "A great tree in the Boggly Woods? OK…"
 * "By the way, Professor… About Princess Peach… Not long ago, Mario received an e-mail from her. It said that the people who kidnapped her are also looking for the Crystal Stars. Oh, and the worst part? She said that she doesn’t even know where she is!"
 * "Then we’ll head for Boggly Woods to find the next Crystal Star! Let’s do it!"
 * "Mario! Did you see that? That was one of the things Professor Frankly described!"
 * "Mario! How could you?!? Don’t you say that to him! …That wasn’t very mature. Hey, don’t worry! Really! We’re not here to be mean to you, honest."
 * "You’re one of the creatures from Boggly Woods, right? What are you doing here?"
 * "X-Nauts? Easy there, kid. What in the world are you freaking out about? We’re not gonna do anything to you, so chill for a sec’! Just tell us what’s going on."
 * "Mario! That sounds like those guys who attacked us in Rogueport. Right? If they’re the same guys, then they’re definitely after the Crystal Star…"
 * "I guess… I mean, we can’t just ignore them, right? And we do need to find the Crystal Star before those X-whatever guys do."
 * "These are the Boggly Woods… They sure look…boggling. Ooh! I’ve got butterflies!"
 * "Call me crazy, but I think this place is totally deserted. Should we go back or what?"
 * "What’s going on?"
 * "Oh quit being melodramatic! Although…it does look thick. What are we gonna do now?"
 * "How are we supposed to find a secret entrance? It’s secret for a reason, y’know."
 * "Wow, what’s the matter? Oh, I TOTALLY know how you feel! When I go out, I am all about the accessories! ...Hey! Wait a sec’! You lost your NECKLACE? I’m having deja vu, big-time! I swear, someone just said they FOUND a necklace…"
 * "Ooh, that’s them! They’re the ones who had the… Wait a minute… What? You’ve been waiting for Mario? What’s THAT supposed to mean, you weirdo?"
 * "Hey! What’s your deal? How do you know about the map and the Crystal Stars? Have you been talking to Princess Peach, or… Wait, what am I saying? The real question is, who the heck are you freaks?"
 * "Hey! Stop right there, missy! You’re that thieving girl we saw before! What are you doing here?"
 * "Eww! Not another smooch! Who do you think you are, you total floozy?"
 * "I can’t BELIEVE that girl! Ugh! I can’t stand her!"
 * "Hey, if you’re done rallying everyone… I have a question. We’re looking for this Crystal Star thingamajig… Ever heardof it?"
 * "Ooh, look! A new pipe! Come on! Let’s jump in!"
 * "He IS just a kid, Mario. Maybe we should, y’know, take it easy on him?"
 * "I wonder what his deal is? He seems so lonely…like he’s watching us secretly, y’know? Yeah… He almost looks like a lost little kitty cat looking for a home. Awww! Too cute! Hey, you don’t think he… He wouldn’t want to join us, would he?"
 * "This isn’t good, Mario. We gotta do something."
 * "Hey! Check these out! I SWEAR I’ve seen these decorated columns before…"
 * "Huh? Did you feel that? That crazy shaking? What in the world was that?"
 * "Wow, Mario! Check it out! The Crystal Star! Score!"
 * "Hey! You! I see you, jerk! Mario, it’s that weasel!"
 * "This is so not cool! We gotta get out of here! Right now!"
 * ''"Stop right there, jerk!"'
 * "You aren’t going anywhere, Mr. Stinker! Now give us the Crystal Star and drag your sorry self out of this tree forever!"
 * "Whoa! He IS powerful! … Still… Something about this metal freak just doesn’t seem right to me… Keep your eyes open!"
 * "We did it, Mario! Yes! Was that great, or what?"
 * "Oh, I’m sure we’ll be back again at some point. Yeah, definitely! Take care, guys!"
 * "Hey, you hear that? Someone’s mailing you!"
 * "Aw, isn’t that sweet, Mario?"
 * "Here we go again, Mario! Let’s see that Crystal Star!"
 * "There it is! The resting spot of the next Crystal Star! Totally awesome! But it looks like it’s pointing somewhere…up in the sky. Huh? What could that mean?"
 * "But the question is, why did they seal the legendary treasure away to begin with? I mean, were they just trying to keep it from being stolen, or what?"
 * "…What? That’s not WHAT?"
 * "Sheesh, Professor…"
 * "No, I don’t, but whatever. How about this next Crystal Star, then? It’s like it’s floating on the Magical Map… It’s, like…floating?"
 * "Well, how are we supposed to get there, then?"
 * "What? What “channels”? Stop being mysterious! How do we get seats on the ship?"
 * "So, no problem! We’ll just go meet this Don Pianta guy, and we’ll be on our way!"
 * "Fairy taile nothing! That treasure’s real!"
 * "Wait… What’s the favor?"
 * "What should we do, Mario? We at least have to tell Don Pianta SOMETHING… But… That stuff about our luck turning terrible didn’t sound all that appetizing…"
 * "Yay! Awesome! We did it! Now we can go to Glitzville!"
 * "Well, no doubt about it: this is Glitzville! Can you believe it actually floats?"
 * "Well, let’s get to it, huh, Mario? Let’s find that Crystal Star as fast as we can!"
 * "Whoa, totally AWESOME! Check it out, Mario! Someone’s about to catch a beating up there!"
 * "Whoa! Look, Mario! There! On the champ’s belt! Isn’t that a Crystal Star?"
 * "Yeah, yeah, it totally is! Look at it sparkle! Gotta be a Crystal Star! Why would that be in a sweaty old pit like this?"
 * "What do you think we oughta do? We can’t just steal that nutcase’s belt, can we? This stinks. What do we do?"
 * (Steal that thing!)
 * "Come on, Mario. Seriously. We’re the good guys, here. We can’t do that. No, no, the way I see it, our only option is… For you to kick some tails, take some names, become the champ, and WIN that belt!"
 * (Battle our way to the top!)
 * "There you go! You and I are, like, TOTALLY on the same exact wavelength! Crack a few heads, take a few names, become champ, and nab that belt!"
 * "So let’s get busy, huh? I guess we gotta become official battlers first, right? Ooh, I’m kinda getting stoked about this! Let’s go find out who runs this shindig!"
 * "They… Those total COWARDS! Those chickens attacked us before the bell rang!"
 * "Oh, that is IT! Come on! We aren’t losing to punks like them! Let’s waste ‘em!"
 * "We aren’t gonna lose to scrubs like YOU!"
 * "C’mon, Mario! Let’s get this over with!"
 * "See?! No biggie!"
 * "What did you expect, huh? We rock!"
 * "Huh? Did you hear that, Mario? You want us to help you, little eggy-weggy?"
 * "It’s so ADORABLE! What should we do, Mario?"
 * (Help the little guy!)
 * "I am TOTALLY with you on this one, Mario. We’ll let you go, little buddy!"
 * (Let there be Hot Dogs!)
 * "Come on, Mario. That’s just tasteless, seriously. Don’t scare the little guy."
 * "Try not to be so childish, will you? There’s no choice here. We’ll let him go."
 * "Is that OK with you, too, Mr. Hot-Dog-Stand Guy?"
 * "Awesome! Didja hear that, little eggy-weggy?!? You’re free! See ya around!"
 * "Huh? What is it now, eggy? You want to follow us? Is that it?"
 * "I’m pretty sure our little buddy here wants to hang out with us. Do we let him?"
 * (OK, it can follow us.)
 * "You hear that, little guy? Just make sure not to get in our way, though, OK?"
 * (No. Jumping eggs bug me.)
 * "Seriously, Mario, I wonder about you sometimes. We’re taking him, and that’s that. You hear that, little guy? Just make sure not to get in our way, though, OK?"
 * "We’re gonna do it! We make the major league if we win! Get psyched, Mario!"
 * "Heyyy… Check it out! Our little eggy friend is gone. What a bummer! Where do you think the little guy took to?"
 * "What?!? You...were in that cute little eggy-weggy? Woah! That's wild!"
 * "Mario! C’mon, now! We’re gonna win this time around! You gotta believe!"
 * "Whoa! Mario! That was another e-mail, right? Don’t just stand there, check it!"
 * "It’s from that X guy again. Great. The “watering hole,” huh? If you say so, X! Who IS this mystery guy?!?"
 * "Mario! ANOTHER e-mail!"
 * ""The blockade in the minor-league locker room," huh? What’s behind it, you think?"
 * "Mario! Do you believe what that is? It’s a scientific report on the Crystal Stars! Someone was researching the Crystal Stars! And they even have pictures!"
 * "Y’now, it’s REALLY weird that someone would just leave this lying around…"
 * "What’s that chick’s beef? It was totally hard work getting that info!"
 * "Well, whatever. At least it sounds like the Crystal Star is somewhere in here."
 * "That looks totally YUMMY! If you chow on that, I bet you can ride the sugar rush!"
 * (Eat)
 * "Yeah! Let’s eat!"
 * (Don’t eat)
 * "Wow, are you like, watching your weight or something? I could NOT say no to that…"
 * "Wow! That was Bowser, right? Jeepers, who woulda thought he’d show his face HERE?"
 * "Mario! Here we go again! Another mail!"
 * "Oh, it’s our X pal again. The telephone booth out on the pavilion, huh? I remember seeing that outside somewhere…but where? Let’s check it out."
 * "What…a…CREEP! How DARE he threaten us like that? Talk about low-class! Wait… He threatened us! You think that hate mail came from old chicken-legs? Well, who knows? One thing’s for sure: we gotta watch our step from here on out."
 * "The storage room in the arena now? Sheesh! What next? This guy’s got us running all over! It’s driving me to totally nuts!"
 * "You again! Miss Flirt-a-lot! Are you following us or what? Y’know, Security heard you bungling around in here. It WAS you, right?"
 * "Pffffffft! PUH-leeeeeeze! I am, like, SO sure!"
 * "Are you, like, the biggest floozy ever or what?"
 * "What’s with that burglar rat? I swear, I’m gonna headbonk her if she doesn’t watch it! But whatever… What do you think she meant about some poor souls upstairs?"
 * ""The staircase switch"? What, is there supposed to be a staircase in here?"
 * "Pssst! Mario! You listening to this?!? This whole missing fighter thing stinks of funny business! And here I just thought that King K retired and headed back to his hometown…"
 * "Phew! Boy, that was close! Did you catch how Grubba just came out of left field with the Crystal Star bit? Jolene was acting totally weird, right? I’m betting she knows something… Anyway, for now, we’d better get out of here before someone finds us."
 * "Great. Our angry pen pal again. He sure seems to have a lot of information… I mean, if he knows about the Crystal Star AND the missing fighters… Then this guy is totally holding the key to this entire mystery! But like, who is it? WHO?!?"
 * "Wow, looks totally yummy! I can NOT say no to cake! Let’s scarf that thing!"
 * (Eat)
 * "Yes! Cake time!"
 * "Oh! OH! So GOOD! Hold your horses, Mario! I saved you a little…"
 * "Wait… I feel kinda…weird. You ever feel like your body is like, totally going numb?"
 * "Hey, I’m feeling better now! Way to kick some tail even without me, Mario! Still… A poisoned cake… Somebody was totally trying to take us out! We gotta be more careful, huh?"
 * (Don’t eat)
 * "What’s your deal, Mario? I’m totally starving here! Are you watching carbs?"
 * "Hey, Mario, you see what happended to our pal here?"
 * "Omigosh! That cake must’ve totally been poisoned! Boy, if we’d eaten it… that’d be us on the floor!"
 * "Hey! That’s another mail! What do you think? Our X friend of The Haterator?"
 * "Oh, X again, huh? OK… I still don’t trust this guy, but I guess maybe it’s a clue… Something’s behind your posters in the lobby, huh? All right! I guess we gotta head to the lobby, then!"
 * "What’s THAT key for?"
 * "OMIGOSH! W-What happended here?!? Bandy Andy! And King K!"
 * "Andy! Stay with us, OK? What do you mean, don’t get near the ring?!?"
 * "Whoa! Did you see that, Mario? Was that…Jolene? What the heck is going on?"
 * "Hey! Where do you think YOU’RE going, pal? Huh? The ring’s this way!"
 * "Slow down, will ya, buddy? WHY are we going this weird way again?"
 * "But this is a minor-league locker room! And speaking of which, where is everybody? I know he said to wait here… But, Mario, we’re gonna miss our fight against the champ!"
 * "OK, they are like, totally, ridiculously late now! I’m gonna find out what’s up."
 * "Omigosh! Omigosh! Mario! It’s locked! The door’s locked! We’re totally trapped!"
 * "Mario, if we don’t do something soon, we’re gonna forfeit that match! We gotta get out of here!"
 * "I already tried that, Mario! It’s locked!"
 * "Shoot! This one won’t budge either! This stinks!"
 * "That…was maybe the grossest thing I’ve ever done. Uh-huh. But let’s get to the fight!"
 * "Wow, looks like we actually made it! And listen to those cheers, Mario! They love you! C’mon, let’s go put this oversized rooster in his place, huh?!"
 * "OK, Mario, this is it! A match with the champ! Let’s destroy this guy!"
 * "What? What are you saying? Don’t tell me it was YOU who got that security guard to lock us up!"
 * "So YOU’RE the jerk that’s been sending us mean e-mails about the Crystal Star!"
 * "Yes! We finally did it, Mario! We destroyed him! But… You know, that Rawk Hawk really sounded like he hadn’t heard of the Crystal Star… And, I mean, even though we’re champs, we’re no closer to finding the real one…"
 * "Hey! Mario! Am I going nuts or do you hear a voice coming from somewhere?"
 * "Think it’s a ghost?"
 * "W-W-WHOA! Turn the volume down on that thing! I almost screamed!"
 * "Wait… There really IS a ghost in here? No WAY!"
 * "This is the air duct, right? Where does it lead to?"
 * "That’s GRUBBA! You think he could’ve made all those fighters disappear?"
 * "Looks like he’s gone… Didn’t he say something about his desk drawer?"
 * "There’s something! You think that’s the paper Grubba hid? Let’s take a peek, huh?"
 * "Whoa! A machine under the ring using a Crystal Star? These are the blueprints! I don’t know much about that technical stuff, but I think the Crystal Star powers it! If this document’s accurate, then the machine can suck the power out of people! …Do you think that King K and Bandy Andy had been, like…drained?"
 * "Quiet, you total scumbag! You sucked the life out of poor King K and Bandy Andy!"
 * "C’mon, Mario! We can’t let that jerk get away!"
 * "Look, Mario! Up there! The real Crystal Star!"
 * "Using a Crystal Star to look good? You’re so totally vain! You’re gonna pay for that!"
 * "Whoa! Grubba got huge!"
 * "OK, Mario, I’ve had just about enough of this guy’s yapping! Let’s take him down!"
 * "Jolene!"
 * "So, the mysterious X who was sending those e-mails…"
 * "Y’know, she came off all uppity, but she was just a girl who loved her brother."
 * "Whoa! Mario, check it out! The Crystal Star!"
 * "Wow! The Crystal Star can do THAT?!?"
 * "Wow, for real? We can just take it?"
 * "Well, you heard her, Mario! Grab it!"
 * "Yes! We have three Crystal Stars now! We’re rolling! Let’s head back to Rogueport, Mario!"
 * "Mario! Hear that noise? That’s totally an e-mail from Princess Peach!"
 * "What?!? They wanna rule the world? That does NOT sound like a friendly plan!"
 * "Well, Mario… Why don't you take this as a reward for dealing with that guy. Ummm… You're carrying too many things at the moment. Why don't you take care of your inventory and then pick it up?"
 * "Wow! What a freak!"

Area Tattles

 * "'This is Rogueport Harbor. Ships come here from all over the world! Everybody's always working their tails off down here. No wonder it's totally sweaty. Sometimes this area's all stacked high with cargo from all the ships. The water smells pretty rank, but that's like, the magic of a port town, y'know?''"
 * "This is Rogueport's main square. It's sorta the central shopping area, I guess. There are lots of regular working folks here, but there are also ne'er-do-wells... If you venture into the back alleys, be ready to deal with some nasty sorts..."
 * "This is Rogueport's east side. It's considered dangerous here, even for Rogueport! This is Ishnail's turf. He's the leader of a band of thieves called the Robbos. Then again, you can also find Merlon here. He can help your partners level up. Still, it's definitely too rough a place for a girl like me to walk alone!"
 * "This is Rogueport's west side. This is totally the friendlier face of Rogueport. Not that it's, y'know, a great place to raise a family, but it's good for Rogueport. The corner with the fountain is definitely the most restful spot in Rogueport. This area is controlled by Don Pianta, head of the Pianta syndicate... Yeah. The shop and parlor here are totally fronts for his "business.""
 * "This is Rogueport Station. You can board intercity trains or blimps here. The Excess Express bound for Poshley Heights is nice and shiny, isn't it? Wow! I bet all the town kids are just DYING to ride it at least once, y'know? That blimp way over at the airfield looks super-cool, too. Blimps are awesome!"
 * "This is Petalburg. It's nice and warm here, and the air is sooo clean... Such a peaceful hamlet... There's a shop and an inn, so you buy stuff and rest. Oh, and one more thing... The river's pretty, but fall in and Nibbles will getcha!"
 * "This is Petalburg. The warm weather makes the locals laid-back and happy. Wow, and talk about unique personalities... Very... individualistic, to put it nicely. Or, not so nicely... Downright kooky..."
 * "The base of the Great Tree! It sure is big up close... I mean... Wowser. Seriously. It must have watched over the Boggly Woods for over 1,000 years. That's insane..."
 * "It's like another world inside this tree, huh?!? And check out these statues! They must've been left by the ancestors of the Punies. I wonder how many years the Punies have lived in this place, anyway... These are the kind of questions archaeologists have to ask, y'know."
 * "This is an interesting pedestal, Mario. When the Punies stand on the panel, the machine counts them and responds. The ancient Punies must've been really sophisticated... This is totally fascinating!"
 * "We're inside the Great Tree. Looks like lots of tufts of vegetation around here. Stuff could be hidden in those things, so let's make sure to check each one, OK?"
 * "There's a red cell and a blue cell here. Crump must've made 'em to hold the Punies. With gaps like those between the bars, I think we could get through, though..."
 * "Looks like Crump left behind lots of the equipment he used to search this tree. Ms. Mowz was here before, but I think she took the next train to Floozyville."
 * "We can just jump this gap easily, but I think the Punies will totally plummet down there. If you gather them into a group and blow on them, they should all fall over the edge... But then they'll come back up in bubbles! And then you can blow them across! As for that door on the left, if you use that panel, it'll unlock it, I'm pretty sure."
 * "The Punies are totally afraid of these Piders. When a Pider drops, the Punies completely lose it and bolt in every direction. You're gonna have to defeat any Piders near the path you wanna lead the Punies along."
 * "We're inside the Great Tree. This area has a totally wacked-out topography. Y'know, I think Punio said something about a hidden shop somewhere in this area... If you need any items, we should try to find it, huh?"
 * "This is a shop run by a Puni named Pungent. I wonder if there are any rare items..."
 * "Hey, there's water running through the inside of the Great Tree! You don't think... Could this be how the tree carries nutrients from root to limb? Y'know, nature is just about the coolest thing ever."
 * "This area seems to have been laid out for a special reason, don't you think? There must be something super-important hidden here."
 * "This must be the most wide-open space inside the Great Tree, huh? The tree looks big from out there, but I lose all sense of dimension in here.... I could totally get lost in here for like, days..."
 * "I wonder if the inside of the tree was always like this... I mean, do you think it was, or do you think someone MADE it this way? Hmmm... It's a mystery..."
 * "The structure of this tree is pretty complicated. Looks like we're only gonna move on with the help of the Punies, huh? We're going to seriously need to use our thinking caps as we go forward."
 * "This is a big treasure chest... The Punies must've left it... What could it be, you think? Well... Only one way to find out, am I right?"
 * "We're inside the Great Tree. Grasses and other plants grow in here. Isn't that cool? You think the Great Tree is like a...host organism? Biology is just SO cool..."
 * "This area makes me feel like I'm exploring a watery swamp even though we're in a tree... Water! I bet we need Koops! ...Um... Or maybe that doesn't make any sense at all..."
 * "We've come down pretty far. The air is a bit colder here, don'tcha think? The technology used here is pretty insane, too. I wish I had more time to inspect it."
 * "This must be the lowest chamber. Saying it's solemn here is an understatement. Under these statues' glares... I feel like the Punies' ancestors are watching us..."
 * "This door was made by Crump and his cronies. It doesn't match the decor at all. As for the door, if you use the panel there, it should unlock the whole thing."
 * ""Yup, this is Glitzville. It's so exotic; it feels like we're in another country! This is like an entertainment hub that attracts visitors from all over the world. The Glitz Pit is, obviously, the main attraction. That's where fighters duke it out. To the right: the Fresh Juice Shop. The Hot Dog Stand is to the left. Where to first?"
 * "This is the Glitz Pit lobby. It's pretty nice, actually! Sturdily built, nice decor. And what can you say about that luxurious chandelier except... FABULOUS!!!"
 * "This is the Glitz Pit itself! That's the ring in the middle. That's where all the magic happens. And by "magic," I mean brutal beatdowns."
 * "This is a backstage corridor. Compared to the Glitz Pit, this is so... businesslike. There's security all OVER, so you can't just wander around wherever you want."
 * "This is a minor-league locker room. It's kind of, uh... Well, it's pretty disgusting. It's totally different from the first room they showed. The old bait-and-switch... You think they make it totally gross so fighters will try harder to advance?"
 * "This is a major-league locker room. Everybody here dreams of reaching the top... You can almost feel the intensity of their ambition in the air... It's weird... Speaking of weirdness, there's ALWAYS someone in the bathroom. Creepy! Y'know, it's kinda necessary to have access to a bathroom now and then..."
 * "This is a minor-league locker room. It's just as gnarly as the one we were in. If you check the lockers or behind the posters, I bet there are stains and graffiti."
 * "This is another locker room for major-league competitors. It's opposite the other one. Why was there a hidden room behind the lockers, anyway? What would it be used for? Mysteries are totally everywhere in the Glitz Pit!"
 * "This is the champ's room. Yeah... This has to be like, the WORST decorating ever! Like that tiger-print bed... I mean, COME ON! Think Rawk Hawk designed it? Or maybe Grubba? It couldn't be...Jolene?"
 * "This is the Glitz Pit storeroom. They must keep props or something in here. There's a second floor, too. If you see anything odd, don't forget your partners..."
 * "This is the storeroom. There are lots of wooden crates here, that's for sure. But it doesn't seem to be in use now, does it? I mean, it's COVERED in dust!"
 * "This is the promoter's room. It's fitting... It has sort of a relaxed authority, y'know? This is where the pairings for each match get decided. Neat!"
 * "We're in the ventilation duct. It's really cramped in here. And musty. And dank."
 * "This is Creepy Steeple. Seeing it in the moonlight gives me the willies... It looks like a ghost could pop out at any minute. No way I'm going in there. Uh... Although, I guess since YOU'RE with me, Mario, I'll give it my best..."
 * "We're inside Creepy Steeple. At least the moon provides a LITTLE light, y'know? This place seems super-old, huh? I'd like to research it...as soon as it's not haunted."
 * "This appears to be the Creepy Steeple storeroom. Sheesh, have a few cobwebs! I'm not so good with ghosts OR spiders, to be honest... And ghost spiders...horrible."
 * "Who knew we could get down here from up there? Wow! This room's well hidden! Talk about minimal decor: one jump pad and one door. Think there's anything else?"
 * "This is an underground corridor in Creepy Steeple. The flames are kinda freaky. The fact that they're burning means someone must've been here recently, though."
 * "This is a courtyard of Creepy Steeple. Pretty decent breeze out here, huh? Aside from the switch, there isn't much here."
 * "This is a courtyard of Creepy Steeple. Boy, that garden sure could use some love. Aside from the switch, there isn't much here."
 * "The winding stair leads up to the belfry. Talk about a doozy of a climb! I mean, it's almost like the staircase is saying... "Go away. I totally hate you.""
 * "This is the well's bottom... but it seems to have dried up. Which is good for us. There's a corridor leading out of here... smells like a puzzle to me, Mario!"
 * "I gotta say, I'm outta ideas. I mean, you can't pull it out, push it away, hammer it... What should we do, Mario? Hmm... I got nothing. I'm thinking we probably oughta just leave it for now."
 * "Who knew the bottom of the well connected to this place? This place is totally crazy. I wonder if Doopliss knew about this passage?"
 * "This is an underground room in Creepy Steeple. There's a parrot here, but no people. That parrot must get pretty bored with no one around. Think he talks to himself?"
 * "This is Keelhaul Key. The sun's brutal, as you'd expect on a southern isle. Blue skies... White clouds... I've always wanted to take an island vacation. Don't you just wanna yell, "Hey, stupid ocean! Look at me! I'm on vacation!""
 * "This is a shantytwon built by Pa-Patch and some of the other sailors who came with us. Blue ocean, sandy beaches... A shop, an inn... You could live pretty comfily here. You'd always have to worry about harmful UV rays, though, y'know?"
 * "This is a totally thick jungle. The flora in this area is unique to tropical regions."
 * "We're in the jungle on Keelhaul Key. It's complex... Switchback paths and stuff... I think there's an invisible block here somewhere, so why don't you look for it?"
 * "Wow, nice rope bridge, huh? I don't think I'll be looking down while we cross, though. Being able to see the water through the slats makes my belly go bleeeeeeeeah! Whoa. Hang on. I'm a little woozy. I might faint..."
 * "Here are the red 'stache and blue 'stache brothers. Hey, kinda like you and Luigi! The smaller one's like you, and the taller one's like Luigi. Are they...looking at us?"
 * "This is a passenger car. Orange and brown decor... That actually looks good! the passenger cabins here are numbered 3, 4, and 5, in case you forgot your numbers."
 * "This is a passenger car. The green and brown colors actually work here. Wow. There are two passenger cabins here, numbers 1 and 2."
 * "This is the dining car. There also seems to be a cute little shop here. Dining and shopping while watching scenery go by... Talk about heavenly..."
 * "This is a passenger car. The blue and brown interior here is totally chic. The passenger cabins here are numbered 6, 7, and 8. ...But you knew that."
 * "This is the engineer's car of the Excess Express. Any kid would LOVE to see this! Look at me, Mario! I"m an engineer! WOOP WOOOOOP! Hey, but driving a train is really nothing to joke about. I totally respect engineers!"
 * "This is the train's roof. Look at that scenery go whipping by! Wowser! ...Look, this is no time for me to be describing stuff! These guys are so ANNOYING! They're flippy and floppy and gross and I HATE them! Let's get rid of them!"
 * "This is the Poshley Heights Station. The Excess Express to Rogueport is here. This place is sooooo upscale. It's like, the polar opposite of Rogueport. You can tell that movie stars and millionaires live here. It just REEKS of cash."
 * "This is Poshley Heights. It's a relaxed town that positively reeks of money. There's a very nice hotel here, too. Wouldn't it be nice to stay there sometime?"
 * "That's Poshley Sanctum. I guess the sanctum grounds are used as a public square. That fountain out front is unique, huh? Yeah, but that water... I bet Nibbles would still chomp your tush if you fell in..."
 * "We're on the moon! Awesome! The moon I always look up at, can you believe it? I mean, I heard they'd put a Goomba on the moon in '69, but who knew WE'D get here? Boy, nothing's impossible on your adventures, Mario! You are the COOLEST!"
 * "Boy, I guess there are pretty much just rocks on the moon. I guess I knew that, but it's still kind of disappointing. Bummer..."
 * "The stars sure are pretty here. I wonder if I can find my favorite constellation... I'm such a totally shameless romantic, it's not even funny."
 * "There's a weird-looking building off in the distance. Why would THAT be there? Looks like we'll need to find a pipe to get there, though. So...let's look for a pipe."
 * "You see the Moon Clefts that live up here? You think they live on green cheese, Mario? ...You know I'm kidding, right? I'm not that much of a cheeseball...get it? I'm still bummed there are only rocks here."
 * "Hey, Mario! Did you see that? I saw a comet or something! It was all, like, "PSHOOWEE!" Should I try and make three wishes, do you think? I wish for... Hee hee hee! That's TOP SECRET!"
 * "Who knew there's be such a weird building on the moon... It's kind of crazy, actually. I mean, it's got a big glass dome to keep all of the air from leaking out...What's that? Yeah, now that you mention it, I guess we were OK out there with no air to breathe...................................Yeah, I'd rather not think about that too much, I guess. Let's change the subject."
 * "This is the X-Naut Fortress. This seems to be the only way in or out. The stars look really nice through these windows, but I guess now's not the time..."
 * "This is a fortress corridor. An elevator connects it to the lower floors. I guess this fortress extends pretty far beneath the surface of the moon, huh? I mean, I hate Grodus, but I gotta give him some props for a pretty cool evil hideout."
 * "This room looks like it was meant to store something... It's booby-trapped, I think. Not to totally change the subject or anything, but how's your memory, Mario? If you have trouble recalling the full path, you oughta leave and reenter."
 * "This looks like a storage room for valuables. The crane can grab stuff up there. It should work if you set a gear in place and press those switches in order... I'm sure you can handle it. It's not exactly moon-rocket science here."
 * "What's this room for, huh? I feel like I've seen that face somewhere before... Hmmm... Oh well, forget about it, I guess."
 * "This room looks like it was meant to store something... It's booby-trapped, I think. If you wander off the correct path, it looks like you'll take damage, don'tcha think? Rooms like this ALWAYS have a hint, though. It's like, a law. See anything like that?"
 * "This is Grodus's lab. He must have his researchers work on various potions here. I don't think we should touch any of this stuff, though... One wrong move and... KABOOOOOOOM! ...Know what I mean?"
 * "This looks like some kinda teleporter. Who knows where that thing would send us! Maybe that's what the X-Nauts used to go between the moon and the earth. I think we have to switch it on and then stand on the platform to use it."
 * "This looks like a lab for genetic experimentation...maybe Yux were made here. I guess they must have some pretty advanced technology if they can do stuff like that. Hey, by the way, Mario... You see up there? One of those ceiling panels is loose. Don't you have some super move or something that can get us up there?"
 * "This is a changing room. I guess even X-Nauts have to change out of their uniforms... But what do they look like under those suits? I'm...not gonna think about it. There's a ventilation duct in the ceiling at one end... That's not good for privacy!"
 * "This place is a bit overdone, huh? It just screams, 'Hey! I'm an evil mastermind!' I wonder if poor Princess Peach got dragged in here before?"
 * "What's this room for, huh? Is it some kind of office for the X-Naut boss or what? Maybe we should give it a once-over to make sure we don't miss anything. Boy, and what's with these tanks full of Nibbles? Jeepers, that creeps me out."
 * "This room looks like it was meant to store something... It's booby trapped, I think. If you stay on the tiles that were lit up, I think you'll be OK, Mario. Er... But you should totally go first, one way or the other..."
 * "There are three panels here. I guess that means we need three Card Keys, huh? There must be something pretty important behind this door to have such security..."
 * "This is the X-Naut factory. I think they make all kinds of stuff here. It's pretty complicated, what with the crane and the pipe, and all those gears... Maybe we should just take this room one bit at a time, don'tcha think?"
 * "This is where they built Magnus Von Grapple and Magnus Von Grapple 2.0. But there doesn't seem to be anything here now... Nope. Let's go, Mario."
 * "This is the computer room. This must be where Princess Peach met with TEC."
 * "Wonder what this room's for? There are beds and lockers, but we can't nap here. There's nothing else, really. The weird thing is, it kind of smells nice in here, huh? Why do you think that is?"
 * "This is a...shower room? I guess every evil-guy base of ultimate doom needs one... Just because you're evil doesn't meen you enjoy B.O., y'know what I mean?"

Enemy Tattles

 * "That's a Goomba. Umm... Yeah, I'm one of those, in case you hadn't noticed. Ahem... It says here: 'Goombas are underlings of underlings.'  ...That is totally rude! Their maximum HP is 2. They have an Attack power of 1 and a Defense of 0."
 * "That's a Paragoomba. Basically a Goomba with wings. I'm jealous! Maximum HP is 2, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. You can't hammer it while it's flying, but rough it up and it'll totally plummet!"
 * "That's a Spiky Goomba. ...A spiky-headed Goomba. What a creative name. That spike is super pointy, so it's better to hit it with a hammer than jump on it. Maximum HP is 2, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. The addition of the spike means you'll hurt your feet if you jump on it. Duh!"
 * "That's a Hyper Goomba. Which means... Umm... It's a hyperactive Goomba. Duh! Max HP is 8, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. But if this nut goes BIZZ-ZOW and charges up, his Attack power will be 8 next turn! So you'd better wipe it out between the time it charges up and the time it attacks! And if you can't beat him, then run away, OK?"
 * "That's a Hyper Paragoomba. It's basically just a Hyper Goomba with wings. Max HP is 8, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. After charging up, you'll be dealing with moves that have an Attack power of 8. Once you damage it, it'll lose its wings and turn into a regular Hyper Goomba. Not that THAT'S all that cool. Even Hyper Goombas are dangerous."
 * "That's a Hyper Spiky Goomba. It's a Hyper Goomba with a spike on its head. Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. After charging up, its Attack power rises to an incredible level of 9. That's SCARY... Beat it before it attacks, or you'll be in peril before you know it, seriously. If only this book listed a way to dodge that attack..."
 * "That's a Gloomba. It likes dark, damp places. Max HP is 7, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. It's stronger than a normal Goomba, so be careful. That's not a healthy color for a Goomba, but it doesn't mean it's sick or anything. So don't show any mercy!"
 * "That's a Paragloomba. It's a Gloomba with wings. Max HP is 7, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. It's like a stronger version of a Parakoopa. And maybe that's all there is to it. I wonder if living down here ever makes its wings moldy? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYUCK! It's too gross to even think about! Bleck!"
 * "That's a Spiky Gloomba. It's a Spiky Goomba that likes dark places. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. Its Attack is pretty high, huh? I'm sure you know this, but try not to jump on the spike. I wonder if I'd look like that if I stayed down here long enough? ...I'd rather not think about that. Are there tanning salons in Rogueport?"
 * "That's a Koopa Troopa. They've been around forever! Gotta respect the longevity! Their shells are hard, but flip them over and their Defense drops to zero. And you know how to flip them over, right? Just jump on their heads!"
 * "That's a Koopa Paratroopa. Well, umm... It's basically a Koopa Troopa with wings. Max HP is 4, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. I kinda hate that this guy gets to fly. Of course, you can stomp on him and he'll plunge down and be a plain Koopa Troopa. Yeah, do that, and he's ours! Stomp again to flip him, and his arms and legs are useless! Oops! Sorry, that's not true. It looks like he can still wiggle them around a bit..."
 * "That's a KP Koopa. It's a Koopa Troopa of a slightly different color. Max HP is 4, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. Looks like its abilities are just like any Koopa... So he oughta be a piece of cake! Don't go easy just because you know King K, Mario... That's what friends are for!"
 * "That's a KP Paratroopa. It's a Koopa Paratroopa of a different color. Max HP is 4, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. It's attacks are the same as your average, garden-variety Koopa Paratroopa. So, just do the same thing as always: stomp on it, flip it, and drops its Defense to 0. My Headbonk is pretty effective against it, too. Come on! Let's get him!"
 * "That's a Shady Koopa. It's yet another member of the Koopa family tree. Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. The difference between them and other Koopas? They can attack from their backs! And, when they flip back up, their Attack gets boosted and they go totally ape! ...Wow! That's pretty tricky! No wonder they're called Shady Koopas, huh?"
 * "That's a Shady Paratroopa. It's a Shady Koopa with wings, obviously. Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. Knock off its wings and it's a Shady Koopa. Unlike typical Koopas and Paratroopas, its Attack jumps when it flips off its back. This also says it has a move that hits you and your ally at once. Is that possible? Uh... I guess the best thing to do is just beat it quickly after we flip it."
 * "That's a Dark Koopa. It lives in dark places that the light never reaches. Max HP is 8, Attack is 4, and Defense is 2. It's a bit tougher than a regular Koopa, so you won't be able to beat it easily. But, it DOES have the same weakness as a regular Koopa. Flip it over and it's helpless. Why do you think it needs sunglasses down here, anyway? What's the point?"
 * "This is a Dark Paratroopa. It lives in dark, damp places. Max HP is 8, Attack is 4, and Defense is 2. It's strong, but otherwise just like other Paratroopas. It's airborne, so try to ground it first."
 * "That's a Koopatrol. A Koopa Troopa who protects himself with spiked armor. Max HP is 6, Attack is 4, and Defense is 2. It attacks with its shell and with its head, then sometimes charges up for a fierce move. Plus, if you take too long to win, it'll call reinforcements. Yeah, sorta gnarly, huh? It's one of the worst of Bowser's guys. Koopa Troopas dream of being Koopatrols. ...Hey, and by the way, what do you think Bowser's doing now, anyway? Eating?"
 * "That's a Dark Koopatrol. These guys just totally ooze toughness, don'tcha think? Max HP is 25, Attack is 5, and Defense is 2. After it charges up power, its next attack will be devastating. Try to survive it. It's almost like those red eyes are there to warn you just how tough it is... Or maybe it just doesn't get much sleep..."
 * "That's a Dull Bones. Sort of a skeleton thing. It was a Koopa Troopa...once. Max HP is 1, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. These creeps throw bones to attack. Oh, and they build reinforcements, too! Attacks that can strike multiple Dull Bones at once are the most effective."
 * "That's a Red Bones! A little TOO red, I think. No fashion sense, y'know? Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. Unlike your average Dull Bones, even if you pound it to 0 HP and it crumbles... It totally might revive! Like a zombie! My advice is to get rid of all the Dull Bones, then attack the Red Bones. Oh, and one more thing! Once its friends start to fall, it may create some more!"
 * "That's a Dry Bones. It's a former Koopa whose spirit animates its bones. Eeeeeek! That's so freaky! Max HP is 8, Attack is 5, and Defense is 2. When its HP goes down to 0, it collapses into a pile, but it'll eventually rise again. Fire and explosions will put a permanent end to it getting back up, though. A Dry Bones will sometimes build friends if it feels it's outnumbered. If you don't take them all out close together, they'll just keep coming back. Let's wipe them all out at once, and quick! These things totally freak me out!"
 * "That's a Dark Bones. It's the baddest of the Bones gang. Max HP is 20, Attack is 5, and Defense is 2. When its HP goes down to 0, it collapses into a pile, but it'll eventually rise again. Fire and explosions will put a permanent end to it getting back up, though. Its HP is high, so it's hard to take it down. Like any other Bones, it sometimes builds friends if it feels outnumbered. It's a pretty tough enemy. You better take it and its buddies out all at once."
 * "That's a Hammer Bro. You know him. He throws hammers. Hence the name. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 1. When his HP drops and he thinks he's in trouble, he'll toss a hammer barrage. Nothing about these guys has changed: they're tough as ever, so brace yourself! Dang! This book always skips the important stuff! How do they carry endless hammers!"
 * "That's a Boomerang Bro. This relative of the Hammer Bros. prefers boomerangs. Max HP is 7, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. He attacks twice with his boomerangs: on the way out AND on the way back. When his HP starts getting low, he fights all the harder. Prepare for multiple attacks!"
 * "That's a Fire Bro. This relative of the Hammer Bros. spits out fire. Max HP is 7, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. If you get hit by a fireball, you might catch on fire, so guard well, OK? When his HP gets low, he gets desperate and starts attacking like a fiend."
 * "That's a Lakitu. It's a member of the Koopa clan that rides on clouds. Max HP is 5, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. It attacks by throwing Spiny Eggs. If you stomp on it while it's holding up a Spiny Egg, you'll take damage, so DON'T do it! Spiny Eggs slowly hatch into Spinies, so beat the Lakitu before fighting the Spinies. Aw, this book doesn't answer my real question: where does it keep all those Spiny Eggs?"
 * "That's a Dark Lakitu. It rides a rain cloud. Max HP is 13, Attack is 5, and Defense is 0. It attacks by throwing pipes at you. If it's holding up a pipe when you jump on it, you'll get hurt. And sometimes the pipes it throws turn into Sky-Blue Spinies. Whoa! If you only attack the Spinies, you'll never win, so go after the Dark Lakitu!"
 * "That's a Spiny. Basically a spike-covered Koopa. Ugh! Looks painful! Max HP is 3, Attack is 3, and Defense is 3. These things have such high Defense that you can't even hurt them when they roll up. So, when they go back to normal, do all the damage you can, and do it quickly! If you flip them over, their Defense drops to 0. THAT'S the time to take them out. Jumping on them is just plain stupid, so try using a POW Block or some other item."
 * "That's a Sky-Blue Spiny. It appeared from a pipe thrown by the Dark Lakitu. Max HP is 6, Attack is 6, and Defense is 4. It'll totally charge at you! Sometimes it balls up to defend and store energy for an attack. If you can, beat it and any buddies it may have with a special attack."
 * "That's a Buzzy Beetle. Awww... It's kinda cute! Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is 4. It's got pretty good Defense...and fire and explosions don't hurt it whatsoever. But, if you jump on it, you can flip it over and drop its Defense down to 0. Then it's at our mercy! Ha! Don't hesitate! Jump! Jump! Jump jump jump!"
 * "That's a Spike Top. It's a Buzzy Beetle with a spike on its back. Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is 4. Like other Buzzies, fire and explosions have absolutely no effect on it. But, you can flip it over to drop its Defense to 0! I'm sure you know this already, but try not to jump on it. That spike hurts."
 * "That's a Parabuzzy. A Buzzy Beetle with wings. Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is 4. I guess those stats are just like a Buzzy. Fire and explosions seem to have no effect, so don't bother, OK? If you flip it over, its Defense goes down to 0, so jump on it first."
 * "That's a Spiky Parabuzzy. It's a Buzzy with a spike and wings. Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is 4. Hey! The same stats as a normal Buzzy! Fire and explosions don't work on Buzzies, in case you've forgotten. ...And this one flies in the air AND has a spike. What a total pain. So...you'd better use an item or a special move."
 * "That's a Red Spike Top. It's the most well protected of the Buzzy Beetle species. Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is a whopping 5. Yup... This guy is HARD! It has really high Defense, and fire and explosions don't hurt it at all. If we can just find a way to flip it over, its underside has a Defense of 0... And that spike... What a pain! There's gotta be a way to flip it over..."
 * "That's a Magikoopa. Y'know, a Koopa wizard. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. It'll throw a load of pain our way while using magic to help its buddies. What a creep. And when there's only one of them, it splits up into multiple copies to mess with us. Stop this thing fast or we'll be in a world of hurt!"
 * "That's a Red Magikoopa. It's a Koopa wizard dressed in red. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. Besides using offensive magic, it can also use magic to boost Attack and Defense. When it's alone, this wizard will use magic to multiply. The fact that you can't tell which is the real one after it multiplies is super-annoying. I have to say, though, that shade of red is definitely NOT its color."
 * "That's a White Magikoopa. It's a Koopa wizard dressed in white. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. It attacks with magic and can replenish its allies' HP. Better hit it first, huh? Oh, this also says it'll use magic to make copies of itself when it's all alone. ...Which is totally lame, 'cause then you can't tell the real deal from the copy!"
 * "That's a Green Magikoopa. It's a Koopa wizard dressed in green. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. It has magic attacks and can also magically electrify allies and make them invisible. Oh, this also says it'll use magic to make copies of itself when it's all alone. ...Which is totally lame, 'cause then you can't tell the real deal from the copy!"
 * "that's Kammy Koopa. She's an evil old witch who's always helping Bowser out. Max HP is 50, Attack is 5, and Defense is 0. She uses magic to raise her Attack and Defense or get electrified or invisible. When her HP gets low, she may also use magic to restore HP. Her magic is totally annoying, so take her out before you focus on Bowser. Still, you gotta feel for her, having to hang out with Bowser all the time... Or do you think Bowser has a harder time enduring her?"
 * "That's Bowser! But what's he doing here?!? My mind just blew a fuse! Max HP is 30, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. He's uglier than I expected. He's got a poisonous bite, so watch out! It'll make your HP decrease gradually. Also, if he ground pounds you, you won't be able to use one of your commands! Just focus your attention on beating him down, Mario!"
 * "That's Gus. He's super-annoying and tries to take tolls from everyone. Max HP is 20, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. All in all, he's pretty tough. Oh, and I've told you a million times...that pointy spear of his hurts if you stomp on it. I wonder if this guy watches people pass 365 days a year. Talk about a workaholic."
 * "That's a Dark Craw. Yikes. What a ghastly-looking spear-thrower. Max HP is 20, Attack is 6, and Defense is 0. Wow, that's some serious Attack power. You don't want to jump on it if its spear is pointing up. 'Cause that...would hurt. For a run-of-the-mill spear-tosser, he sure looks like he's got a POINT to make! Ha ha!"
 * "That's a Bandit. This scumbag tries to bump you and grab coins. Jerk! Max HP is 5, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. If you time your guard well when he attacks, he won't be able to steal anything. Plus, the look on a Bandit's face when you guard successfully is priceless. If a Bandit steals coins from you, defeat him before he flees to get your coins back."
 * "That's a Big Bandit. Basically, a boss among ordinary Bandits. Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. Unlike other Bandits, he'll steal your items as well as your coins. Totally weak! If you guard well when he charges at you, he'll blow by without stealing anything. If he robs you, you won't get your item back unless you beat him right then. He'll run!"
 * "That's a Badge Bandit. He's a Bandit who'll go after your badges. That jerk! Max HP is 12, Attack is 5, and Defense is 0. He has high Attack power and HP. He sometimes steals a badge when he tackles you, so use your Guard carefully. And even if he gets one, keep your cool, OK? If he runs from the battle, you can always find him and reengage him."
 * "That's a Spinia. A totally weird creature made of thin, papery boards. It certainly looks unique. Nobody knows much about these creatures, actually. Max HP is 3, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. Its attacks are super-swift, but it should be pretty easy. Just give it a 'Hee-YAAA!'"
 * "That's a Spania. A Spinia with spikes on its head. It looks meaner, too. Max HP is 3, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. So, sorta the same as a Spinia. You oughta watch out for the spikes on its head, but otherwise, just whale on it. I gotta be honest, though, the way that thing spins makes me wanna yack."
 * "That's a Spunia. Its body is made up of springy discs. Max HP is 12, Attack is 7, and Defense is 2. It may not look like much, but it's pretty tough. It won't come at you with anything too weird, so just hang in there, OK?"
 * "That's a Fuzzy. What a hyper little guy, huh? Cut back on the caffeine! Max HP is 3, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. Those things suck up your HP and use it to replenish their own! Isn't that the worst? I mean, EW! Doesn't that just sound totally gross? Anyway, guard against them by pressing the MOMENT they release you. The timing is pretty hard to master, so, uh, practice up! These things really suck...HP."
 * "That's a Gold Fuzzy. Whoa, those are super rare! I'm serious! Wow! Max HP is 10, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. Oh, but hey! Even though it's a Fuzzy, it won't suck up your HP, which is nice. I have to wonder though... How does this thing hide? Look at it! It's so gaudy!"
 * "That's a Green Fuzzy. As you can see, it's a Fuzzy and it's green. Duh! Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. This is similar to a normal Fuzzy, so it replenishes its own HP as it sucks out ours. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW... That is just the grossest thing ever. ...If you don't find that idea gross, seriously, there's something wrong with you. The main difference between this and other Fuzzies is that this one multiplies. You know, I bet this thing would look great sitting next to a Gold Fuzzy."
 * "That's a Flower Fuzzy. Wow, what a totally pretty Fuzzy, don'tcha think? Max HP is 6, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. This thing attacks by boinging in and sucking out FP. How uncool! We need FP! Once it charges up its own FP, it uses magical attacks. Better beat it before it does. Oh! I just got it! It's a Flower Fuzzy because it sucks your FP (Flower Points)! Duuuuuuh! Hee hee!"
 * "That's a Pokey. It's a cactus ghoul that's got nasty spines all over its body. Max HP is 4, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. Look at those spines... Those would TOTALLY hurt. If you stomp on it, you'll regret it. Pokeys attack by lobbing parts of their bodies and by charging at you... They can even call friends in for help, so be quick about taking them out."
 * "That's a Poison Pokey. As you probably guessed, it's a poisonous Pokey. Max HP is 8, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. If you get poisoned, your HP will slowly drain, so you may want to avoid that. I'm sure you can see this, but they have spines all over, so DON'T touch them. They may be smiling, but that doesn't mean they're happy to see you!"
 * "That's a Pale Piranha. You know about these guys. The famous Piranha Plants. This colorless subspecies is adapted to Boggly Woods. Ah, the wonders of nature! Max HP is 4, Attack is 2 and Defense is 0. If you try to jump on them, they'll totally chomp on you."
 * "That's a Putrid Piranha. It's a poisonous Piranha Plant. That color is totally sickly... Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. It bites, AND it attacks with super-rank poison breath. Breath mint, table four! If you get poisoned, your HP will slowly go down, so, y'know, try not to."
 * "That's a Frost Piranha. It's a cool customer with strong ice powers. Max HP is 10, Attack is 5, and Defense is 0. Its biting attack sometimes freezes us, so try to immobilize it first. It's weak against fire attacks, too, so use them as well."
 * "That's a Piranha Plant. In fact, I think this is the strongest type of them all. Max HP is 15, Attack is 9, and Defense is 0. Its Attack power is absurdly high... It may look like a normal Piranha Plant, but don't be fooled! It's super-tough! If we get beaten by a flower, we'll never hear the end of it, know what I mean?"
 * "That's a Crazee Dayzee. It may look totally cute, but it's a serious foe. Max HP is 7, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. What you gotta worry about is its lullaby. That tune will totally zonk you out. If you manage to guard well, though, you may not pass out. Try to learn the timing. Oh, and when its HP runs low, it runs away, so try to KO it one fell swoop."
 * "That's an Amazy Dayzee. This mystical Dayzee is like, the rarest thing ever. Max HP is 20, Attack is 20, and Defense is 1. Since it has such high HP and runs away really quickly, it's almost impossible to beat. Plus, its lullaby has massive Attack power, so if we're low on HP, we need to scram. You gotta think hard about whether to fight or bolt."
 * "That's a Pider. ICK! They gross me out. Max HP is 5, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. EWWWWWWWWW! Besides its normal attacks, it might spit three web-wads at you consecutively. You'd better have good timing if you wanna guard against its attacks. It also says here that the Punies can't stand Piders. So I'm not the only one! Just the sight of these things make Punies flee in terror. I know how they feel!"
 * "That's an Arantula. It's a spiderlike creature that lives deep underground. Max HP is 16, Attack is 7, and Defense is 0. Yeah... It's pretty tough. It'll spit web-wads at you. Sometimes it even attacks several times in a row. That coloring freaks me out. ...I'm kinda scared of spiders. So let's do this quickly!!"
 * "That's a Swooper. I bet they call it that 'cause of the way it swoops around. Wow! That's some AWESOME naming work. Seriously! It's pure naming genius!!! So, anyway... Max HP is 6, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. Says here it hangs from the ceiling. If you can just damage it, it oughta drop off the ceiling. And then you can whack it!"
 * "That's a Swoopula. An airborne, bloodsucking, batlike thing. Max HP is 9, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. As if losing HP wasn't enough, this little creep adds yours to its own! How totally, totally gross! Don't let it bite me, Mario!"
 * "That's a Swampire. It's a feared health-sucker that hides in the darkness. Max HP is 20, Attack is 6, and Defense is 0. It sucks health from its prey to add to its own HP. And that...totally grosses me out like you wouldn't believe. If you let it feast on you, its HP will get really high. Focus your attacks on it!"
 * "That's a Dark Puff. It's basically a tiny, mean thunderhead. Max HP is 3, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. Sometimes it'll charge itself with electricity. Don't touch it when it does! Yowch! You know what I mean, right? Brzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt! Shocking! After it charges itself, it'll totally zap you with lightning. Beat it as fast as you can."
 * "This is a Ruff Puff. Don't confuse them with Dark Puffs... Although, I don't think the world would end if you DID confuse them, but anyway... Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. They swoop at you or charge themselves with electricity before unleashing lightning. Oh, and if you touch them while they're charged, you'll get a shock!"
 * "That's an Ice Puff. It's a mean snow cloud that appears in cold areas. Max HP is 9, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. It swoops down and uses cold breath to attack. Trust me, it's NOT refreshing. That cold breath can freeze us, so try to avoid it. Also, if we touch it while it's storing cold energy, we'll get hurt. Isn't that super weak? They're vulnerable to fire, so let's try that, maybe."
 * "That's a Poison Puff. Basically just a puff of poisonous air. Max HP is 15, Attack is 8, and Defense is 0. Its poison-gas attack is 10! These things charge you, but they also save up toxins and poison you with them. Scum! Plus, you can't touch them when they're saving up toxins or you'll get hurt. Lame!"
 * "That's a Boo. It's everyone's favorite ghost. ...Well, most everyone... Max HP is 7, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. It's nothing to write home about on the Attack side, but it can turn invisible. If it turns invisible, we won't be able to hit it, so beat it while you can see it. Boos are kinda cute, but I sure wouldn't want to meet one in a dark alley. If I ran into one in the bathroom in the middle of the night, I'd... Well, never you mind what I'd do."
 * "That's an Atomic Boo. It's a giant Boo made up of a ton of smaller Boos. Max HP is 40, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. This thing will try to smoosh us. It can also split up and send hundreds of Boos at us. And, when we attack, we might get so scared that we get confused or can't move. I sure wouldn't want to see this thing standing behind me in the middle of the night... Creeeeeepy..."
 * "That's a Dark Boo. Purple just looks...so wrong. These Boos are SO creepy. Max HP is 8, Attack is 5, and Defense is 0. Its HP and Attack are high, but they're just like ordinary Boos otherwise. So, just attack it like a purple Boo. Get it before it turns invisible!"
 * "That's an Ember. Sort of a pale-blue flame spirit. Kind of spooky. Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. Of course, since this thing is a flame, touching it will hurt. Didn't Mama teach you that? Looks like it's susceptible to ice or explosive attacks, though, so that's something. If you get hit by a flame attack, you'll catch fire, so try to guard well."
 * "That's a Lava Bubble. It's a flame spirit. Max HP is 6, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. Its HP and Attack power may be different from an Ember's, but otherwise it's the same. Since it's made of fire, try not to touch it, 'cause it'll burn you. Apparently, it's vulnerable to explosions and ice attacks. Oh, and if you get hit by a flame attack, you might catch fire, so guard well."
 * "That's a Phantom Ember. It's an angry spirit born of hatred and confusion. So, um... I'm not too cool with this thing! B-B-B-B-Bleck... Max HP is 10, Attack is 5, and Defense is 0. If it attacks you with spirit flames, you'll catch on fire. Let's send this ghoul back to the grave, OK? P-P-P-P-Please..."
 * "That's a Bald Cleft. Basically, a rock monster with a swarthy-looking face. Uh... This is kind of mean, but bald guys...really just don't do it for me. Max HP is 2, Attack is 1, and Defense is 2. Yeah. This guy is rock solid. Fire doesn't even hurt it. It might be best to attack with, say...a POW Block."
 * "That's a Hyper Bald Cleft. Like Clefts and Bald Clefts, this is also a rock monster. Max HP is 3, Attack is 2, and Defense is 2. This hyper version can build up its energy, boosting its Attack to 8 on the next turn. It has low HP, but its body is rock-hard and impervious to fire, making it super-tough. It says here that item attacks are pretty effective. Beat it before it goes hyper!"
 * "That's a Cleft. A rock-head jerk with spikes on his noggin. What a rocker! Max HP is 2, Attack is 2, and Defense is 2. That hard head is a major pain. Fire doesn't hurt it, but other types of items are pretty effective, usually. If nothing seems to work on it, you can always just run."
 * "That's an Iron Cleft. That guy is SCARY. Period! Max HP is 6, Attack is 4, and Defense is...UNKNOWN?!? What's WITH this book? It says no attack will work against Iron Clefts! It says nothing in the world is as hard as an Iron Cleft, so its Defense is impenetrable. If that's true, the only way to beat one is to whack it with the other one... Running away may not be a bad idea at this point."
 * "That's a Hyper Cleft. It's basically a Cleft that uses charged-up moves. Max HP is 4, Attack is 3, and Defense is 3. When it charges up, its Attack power rises to 9. Couple its rock-hardness with its ability to charge up...and things get scary. If you're confident, you may want to try doing Superguards to send its attacks back... If you can't, you'd better use some items, or you'd better hightail it out of here."
 * "That's a Moon Cleft. It's your basic Cleft living on the moon. Max HP is 6, Attack is 5, and Defense is 5. Defense is high, as usual...and fire attacks don't work against it. If you can turn it over with an explosion, though, its Defense goes down to 0."
 * "That's a Bristle. ...Totally covered in spikes. They're so prickly! Max HP is 2, Attack is 1, and Defense is 4. AND they're impervious to fire. Even trying to get close enough to whack it with a hammer is dangerous! Seriously, its spikes will totally pop out! So, since you can't jump on it or use your hammer...you'd better use an item!"
 * "That's a Dark Bristle. It's an ancient creature made of rock. Max HP is 8, Attack is 8, and Defense is 4. You can't jump on it because of its spikes, and you can't approach it due to its spears. AND its Defense is high. You'd better take it out with special attacks or items."
 * "That's a Bob-omb. It attacks by blowing itself up. Yeah. Reeeeeeeal smart. Max HP is 4, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. A Bob-omb will get totally mad if you damage it. They have like, super-short fuses. When it gets mad, it'll charge and explode on its next turn. THAT attack...really hurts. Oh, and if its mad, it'll blow up at the slightest contact. So don't attack directly! Attack it from a step away with a hammer or hit it with something hard, like a shell."
 * "That's a Bulky Bob-omb. I think it's like other Bob-ombs...but it's huge! Max HP is 6, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. It's weird... It never attacks, but once its fuse is lit, it'll blow up on its own eventually. I don't mind it taking itself out of the battle, but that explosion hurts us, too! Oh, and when it powers up, that Attack power is 8, so watch out! Fire and explosions light its fuse, so I guess setting it off early is one strategy... You can run, too, but if you're gonna fight, beat it before it goes off!"
 * "That's a Bob-ulk. That's...easily the biggest Bob-omb I've ever seen! Max HP is 10, Attack is 4, and Defense is 2. It won't attack, but once its fuse is lit, it'll explode after a while. So the problem is...how to beat it before it goes off. I mean, its bomb attack has a power of 16! That's no joke. Seriously, watch out for that. Just go all out to beat it. Pull out all the stops. Or you could just set it off early with fire or explosions. Your call."
 * "That's a Chain-Chomp. I'd hate to get chomped by those teeth. They look nasty. Max HP is 7, Attack is 6, and Defense is 5. Its body is hard, so most attacks won't do much. Plus, you can't damage it with fire and ice attacks. You can freeze it, though. Luckily, it has low HP, so you can take it down with a special move or an item. Chomp-Chomps are like, so super-pumped all the time. Don't they ever get tired?"
 * "That's a Red Chomp. It's a rabid, red, biting, chewing, chomping fool! Max HP is 6, Attack is 5, and Defense is 3. It's attacks are so powerful, we could be in a world of hurt if we don't beat it fast! ...Which is why it's really, REALLY lame that its Defense is so high. Its HP is pretty low, though, so items and special moves might just work... Just look at that color! Think someone painted it after it fell asleep at a party?"
 * "That's a Bill Blaster. It's the cannon that shoots Bullet Bills. Max HP is 5, Defense is 2. It doesn't attack directly, but shoots Bullet Bills at you. I know the Bullet Bills are annoying, but take out the Bill Blaster first, trust me. Arrgh! How many of those things will it shoot at us?!? YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!"
 * "That's a Bullet Bill. It attacks after being shot from a Bill Blaster. Max HP is 2, Attack is 4, and Defense is 1. Take care of it quickly, or it'll totally whale into you, mosh-pit style! Use those Action Commands and take it out!"
 * "That's a B. Bill Blaster. It fires Bombshell Bills. Sorry about the abbreviation. Max HP is 10, Defense is 4. It's really, really tough. Yeah, hard to hurt this guy. Thing is, if you don't take it out, it'll keep shooting Bombshell Bills at you. So, you gotta find a way to beat it, and fast!"
 * "That's a Bombshell Bill. B. Bill Blasters shoot these things repeatedly. Max HP is 3, Attack is 6, and Defense is 2. Its Attack is high, but its HP is low, so take it out before it takes YOU out! Then again, if you focus on these guys, you'll never win. Smack that B. Bill Blaster!"
 * "That's a Dark Wizzerd. It's a part-machine, part-organic, centuries-old thing. Max HP is 10, Attack is 5, and Defense is 2. It uses magic to attack and to alter your condition, so stay on guard. If there's only one left, it'll multiply itself to confuse you. I know they look totally goofy, but they're actually pretty tough enemies."
 * "That's a Wizzerd. It's a part-machine, part-organic, centuries-old thing. Max HP is 10, Attack is 6, and Defense is 3. It uses magic to attack, heal, and alter your condition, so stay on guard. It's Defense is high, but we can totally take this thing!"
 * "That's an Elite Wizzerd. This is the top of the heap for half-machine organisms. Max HP is 12, Attack is 8, and Defense is 5. You can probably guess this, but it uses various magic moves in battle. And, if it's alone, it'll create illusions of itself. It has no real weakness. So just use whatever you have to beat it, OK? Let's go, Mario!"
 * "That's a Blooper...and a really super-humongous one, too! EWWWW! It's all slimy!!! I just can't STAND slimy, nasty, icky things. G-R-O-S-S, gross! Max HP is 12, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. It attacks with tentacles and ink. Once you damage both its tentacles, it'll fall down... And then it's attack time! By the way, the tentacles each have 3 HP. Now relax and house on that slimy, nasty Blooper!"
 * "That's Hooktail! Max HP is 20, Attack is 5, and Defense is 1. It'll stomp and munch on you, and it has a more dragonish attack: stinky, fiery breath! It's tricky, especially when it's losing, and it'll try to fool you into being merciful. Oh, yeah, and one more thing. It hates things that start with 'cr' and end with 'icket'. Supposedly, there's something related to that somewhere in this castle. Did we find it?"
 * "That's Gloomtail. I think he's Hooktail's brother. I see the family resemblance... Max HP is 80, Attack is 8, and Defense is 2. He'll bite or stomp you, and he may also breathe poison on you. Great. When his HP gets low, he may throw in some other attacks, as well. Wouldn't surprise me. especially watch out for his megabreathe move, 'cause the word is, it's GNARLY! He also store power for some attacks, so use Vivian to hide to avoid those."
 * "That's Bonetail. He's the oldest brother of Hooktail. ...So old he's just bones, in fact. Wow. Now THAT'S old! His body's Max HP is 200, his Attack is 8, and his Defense is 2. He has various breaths that might confuse us or put us to sleep. When his HP gets low, he'll recover...or reanimate, as the case may be. He's probably stronger than the last boss, seriously! Let's do this right!"
 * "That's Rawk Hawk! He flips, flaps, and slaps! ...That's what the book says. Max HP is 30, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. He's really good at aerial maneuvers, but other than that, he's pretty...meh. One thing you should know is that Rawk Hawk NEVER fights above the board. Carelessness leads to lifelessness, y'know!"
 * "That's Macho Grubba. He's Grubba all souped-up on Crystal Star power. Max HP is 60, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. His attack pattern is simple: first he increases the number of times he can attack... Then he powers himself up with all sorts of crazy, power-uppy moves. So, it's pretty important to pay attention to how he's powered himself up. The craziest thing about this muscle head is that he used to be that chubby Grubba. I guess the Crystal Stars really ARE powerful!"
 * "...??? Wow, how totally bizarre... This thing isn't listed in here. There's a monster in here that looks like this thing... But it doesn't list a name. Max HP is 40, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. It's apparently really good at transforming itself and other things. Maybe it used that power to turn the villages into pigs! This thing is a real jerk!"
 * "That's Cortez! He's the dreaded pirate spirit who haunts the island! Max HP is 20, Attack is 4, and Defense is 1. His HP might seem low, but he's a spirit, so even when his HP hits 0, he'll come back! Plus, he has tons of different attacks. He's as tough and scary as he looks. I'd say just keep damaging him, and sooner or later he'll go down for good! Let's give this tormented spirit some eternal rest!"
 * "That's a Smorg. Lots of Smorgs gathered to create this huge monster. Max HP is 50, attack is 5, and Defense is 1. It attacks with tentacles. Defeating the tentacles will drop the body's Defense to 0, making it easier to attack. The tentacles will regenerate, but use that time to deal a ton of damage, OK? It may also take other forms with higher Attack powers. I don't really know. Let's just hurry and beat this thing down so we can save those trapped passengers!"
 * "That's an X-Naut. Says here it's classified as an 'enemy combatant.' That description stinks... You think it means they're just low-level foot soldiers? Max HP is 4, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. They drink these potions that make them all big and burly...then they attack! One's easy, but if there's two or more, better watch out! Use special moves and items!"
 * "That's an X-Naut PhD. Guys like this invent all the annoying things we fight. Max HP is 9, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. He likes to throw beakers of chemicals. The chemicals do all kinds of stuff, like making things huge or burning people. He may also use potions to heal himself or make himself impossible to hit. X-Naut PhDs are REALLY annoying, so take them out before they boost themselves."
 * "That's an Elite X-Naut. This guy is the creme de la creme of the X-Nauts. Max HP is 10, Attack is 5, and Defense is 1. He'll use regular attacks as well as boosting his power or size. Elite X-Nauts are tough, but you just have to smack away until they go down."
 * "That's a Yux. Says here that it's a creature created in the X-Naut labs. Max HP is 3, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. According to this, attacks and items won't affect it if it has Mini-Yux around it. So, if any Mini-Yux appear, take those out first. Duh!"
 * "That's a Mini-Yux. A creature made to protect a Yux, it can split into two. Max HP is 1, Attack is 0, and Defense is 0. These twerps are the reason you sometimes can't do any damage to the main Yux. They're a pain, but you HAVE to beat them before the Yux. Flurrie's pretty effective..."
 * "That's a Z-Yux. It's a genetic improvement on the original Yux. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. Multiple Mini-Z-Yux will appear to protect the main unit, as you'd expect. Sometimes they also restore HP to the main unit, which really burns me up! It doesn't have much HP, but those barriers often protect it from attacks."
 * "That's a Mini-Z-Yux. It lives to protect the Z-Yux. There can be as many as 4. Max HP is 2, Attack is 0, and Defense is 0. If you don't clear these guys out, you'll never be able to attack the Z-Yux. Using a multiple-strike attack to take them out all at once is a totally good idea. I mean, I respect them for protecting their...whatever, but they get NO mercy!"
 * "That's an X-Yux. I hear this is read as 'Cross'-Yux, not as 'Ex'-Yux. Anyway, this is a new Yux designed to protect extra-important areas... They were designed to be unbeatable. They're not. Max HP is 10, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. It can produce two Mini-X-Yuxes at once. AND, it has an excellent success rate of immobilizing opponents. We gotta do something about that if we're gonna win."
 * "That's a Mini-X-Yux. It lives to protect the X-Yux. Up to 4 can guard the X-Yux. Max HP is 1, Attack is 0, and Defense is 0. You can't attack the main unit until you clear these annoying pests out. So use multiple-strike attacks to take them out all at once!"
 * "That's a Grodus X. It protects Grodus. Max HP is 3, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. This guy is no problem on its own, but Grodus's Defense goes up for each of them. When he has four surrounding him, we won't be able to damage him at all. So let's dish out some hurt to them while we pound on Grodus. Got it?"
 * "That's Magnus Von Grapple. It's a giant robot built by the X-Nauts. Lord Crump drives it. Max HP is 30, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. Its most effective attack is one that takes advantage of its size: a smothering stomp. It can also shoot out its fists, which do these super-gnarly rocket punches. Its fists have Max HP of 2, an Attack of 4, and Defense of 0. Its fists are super powerful, so it's best to knock them down fast. The thing about this robot is I can't tell if it looks cool, or really, REALLY stupid..."
 * "Ah! Magnus Von Grapple 2.0. The upgraded version of Magnus Von Grapple. Max HP is 70, Attack is 6, and Defense is 2. Its basic attack is a drill that drops from above. It also sometimes releases its fists for flying X-Punches. Each X-Punch has a Max HP of 5, and Attack of 9, and a Defense of 0. When those fists are flying, you may get attacked by the fists and body in one turn... Take care of those low-HP fists early on, trust me. When the body's HP gets low, it'll also fire machine guns and who know what else. It may not look too different from the last version, but it's much stronger, so be careful! I still think the whole design is a little ridiculous, though..."
 * "That's Lord Crump. Not this guy again... Ugh. Max HP is 30, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. He just attacks normally, so don't worry much about him... But...those X-Nauts all around him are a force to be reckoned with. They're going to attack us with all kinds of weird moves, I can just FEEL it! If we take out their leader, though, they won't have the focus to attack. Get Crump!"
 * "That's Grodus! He's the head of the X-Nauts who kidnapped Peach. Max HP is 50, Attack is 7, and Defense is 1. But...when he has Grodus Xs surrounding him, his Defense will go up by that number. He may also use electricity, fire, and time-stopping magic. That doesn't sound good! Still, he's a totally weird guy. Why's he so intense and serious all the time? I guess we don't have time to worry about that. Let's beat him and find Peach!"
 * "That's Beldam. She's the oldest sister, the leader of the Shadow Sirens. Max HP is 9, Attack is 1, and Defense 0. But her blizzard attack has an Attack of 2. She can make her partners big and make us tiny, and attacks with weird magic. The worst thing about her is that sinister snicker! She sounds so totally evil! I mean, she's just the sort of person you want to avoid like the plague, y'know?"
 * "That's Marilyn. She's a Shadow Siren. Beldam's younger sister. Max HP is 12, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. She charges up her attacks occasionally. Says here that she's the toughest of the sisters, so it might be best to defeat her first, huh? Other than that, she doesn't have any particularly outstanding characteristics."
 * "That's Vivian. She's the youngest of the three Shadow Sirens. Max HP is 10, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. She doesn't seem all that noteworthy. Uh... She is kinda cute, I guess... She might even be cuter than I am... I guess... ...Uh... What am I thinking?"
 * "Omigosh, what happened? I can't believe Peach got possessed! That's AWFUL! Now she's...the Shadow Queen. The demon that destroyed this town 1,000 years ago. Max HP is 150, Attack is 7, and Defense is 0. She'll unleash big lightning attacks. She'll also use magic to raise Attack and Defense, or to absorb HP... She might even try to drag us into the darkness... I don't feel good about attacking Peach, but we have to do SOMETHING! Don't think of it as Peach! We just have to fight to the end! C'MON!!!"

Goomfrey

 * "The package... Yep, that's it."
 * "I'll dispose of this in a way no one will ever find it. Tell McGoomba I said so."
 * "And do me a favor: forget all this. You hear me? It never happened. For your sake."
 * "We never spoke! Forget everything!"
 * "And when you give McGoomba my message, he'll give you your compensation."
 * "Remember: this deal won't be done until you give my message to McGoomba."

Goom Goom

 * "Hey, thanks for taking on my trouble. All the way out here, too. I know it's far."
 * "I came out here to enjoy island life, but now that I'm here, I just feel lonely..."
 * "There is no one to date. I mean, NO ONE. I'm chatting up sea turtles, here."
 * "So all I need you to do is introduce me to a nice girl. That's it. A girl. OK?"
 * "I guess my type would be... Petite, younger than me, and pretty, not drop-dead hot."
 * "Yeah, a cute little Goomba gal would be just perfect... Please help me. Please."
 * "Hey, how’s it going? Did you happen to find a cute girl for..."
 * "Whoa! That is one attractive shell… but that makes you… a Koopa of some kind. Not only that, but you're a dude. This is all wrong! Remember what I told you?"
 * "Whoa! Now that is a very glamorous woman, indeed… But you're kind of… old… And you're not even a Goomba! This is all wrong! Remember what I told you?"
 * "Whoa! Hey… You're petite, just like I asked… But you're a Yoshi! This is all totally wrong! Remember what I told you?"
 * "Whoa! You sure are cute… But, um… That whole goth shadow thing is a bit… Creepy! There, I said it! This is all so very wrong! Remember what I told you?"
 * "Whoa! How very, um… What's WRONG with you, huh? This is some crusty old dude! Do I look like I date old Bob-ombs? This is all wrong! Remember what I told you?"
 * "Whoa! Well, well, well… This IS a cutie, oh yes… But you're some sort of rat! Close, but no Goomba! This is all so very wrong! Remember what I told you?"
 * "Introduce me to a cute Goomba gal! Now come on! I’m dying over here!"
 * "Whoa! Yeah! Wow! Yow! She’s cute! REALLY cute! And that ponytail! Man!"
 * "Perfect! Slam dunk, man! Suh-lam duh-unk! This may be a bit soon..."
 * "But I have to confess my love to this girl!"
 * "Err... Uhh... Hi. Do you believe in love at first sight, angel? Because, you know, I do, and..."
 * "I love you!"
 * "I think I have loved you since before I was born... Please! Go out with me!"
 * "What? You have a boyfriend?"
 * "Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan... I’ve had enough of this..."
 *  "PEACE!"  

Grubba / Macho Grubba

 * "Who 'n tarnation 're you, son? Who let you in?!? This is Grubba's office!"
 * "What's that, now? An athlete, huh? Ya wanna become a fighter?"
 * "Hooo–weee! I guess that do change a thang or two, son!"
 * "When I was just a poor pup, I didn't give a Pokey's patoot for fancy, big–city ways!"
 * "Bein' rich an' famous is diggety–dang DYNAMITE!"
 * "One day, you'll look back on all them small–dreamers 'n LAUGH!"
 * "Wait a diddly–darn minute there!"
 * "Boy howdy, Gonzales! Fixin' for a fight, huh? Well, alrighty then!"
 * "Well, dog my cats! It's the Great Gonzales!"
 * "Get yerselves ready to... BAAAATTLE!"
 * "Just a little ol' mouse... Here I am, thinkin' someone's up there a-peepin'!"
 * "Just a little ol' kitty... Here I am, thinkin' someone's up there a-peepin'!"
 * "Just a little burpin' beetle... Here I am, thinkin' someone's up there a-peepin'!"
 * "I gotta relax... take some yoga classes or somethin'... Yep. Well, back to the ring!"
 * "Whoa! Hold the phone, folks! What in tarnation is goin' on here?!? The Great Gonzales is flyin' solo this time! How's he gonna survive all alone?"
 * "First to enter the ring... The Feral Nuclear Reactor! RAAAAAWWWK HAAAAAWWWK!"
 * And now for our challenger... The Merciless Executioner... The GRRREAT GOOONZALES!!!"
 * "I'll tell you what I saw, folks... A whuppin'!"
 * "Maybe I'm ol'-fashioned, but I care about my fighters, darn it!"
 * "Long's I got that baby workin' fer me, this ol' bod ain't NEVER gonna get weak!"
 * "I'd better keep this room locked tighter than a peanut–butter jar at a squirrel convention!"
 * "GREAT–GALLOPIN' GULPITS! How in tarnation did YOU get in here, son?"
 * "Well, slap me and call me Sassafras! Yer even starin' at my secret paper, too!"
 * "Whoa, nelly! This ain't good..."
 * "I gotta say, ya'll are a coupla slack–jawed idiots, sniffin' 'round my business..."
 * "Now you know my big secret, I'm afraid yer gonna have to take a li'l old dirt nap."
 * "Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! How you like my machine? Pretty dang nice, huh?"
 * "Yep, I've been suckin' power from the fighers with this baby! SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!"
 * "Yer darn tootin'! An' you know why? 'Cause it keeps my bod forever young, son!"
 * "Oh, just shut yer traps, now! I'll use MY Crystal Star however I dang please!"
 * "Check THIS out! HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSCLE–UP!"
 * "MAAAAAAAAAACHO GRUBBA!"
 * "Hoo–wee! I'm gonna smoosh you guys into guacamole an' snack on YER energy, too!"
 * "MAAAACHO! I'm a powerhouse now, you pesterin', li'l pieces of prairie piffle! So long's I have this here machine, my bod'll be rough, tough, an' ultrabuff!"
 * "Oh yeah! Keep it spicy! You know I love a good tussle, Gonzales! Keep on scrappin', son! 'Course, it ain't gonna do you much good in the end..."
 * "Not too shabby, Gonzales! You got showmanship, an' that's GOLD in this biz! But this here battle's just gettin' started! It's time I showed you some real moves! Back in the day, I had so many rump–kickin' moves, they had to make some illegal!"
 * "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! It ain't finished yet, Gonzales!!! Ain't over 'til it's over! That's way it is in combat sports, son! But lemme just tell YOU somethin'... Fortune's gonna smile on ME in the end, punk!"
 * "Nooo... How'd a perfect bod like mine lose to such a chub? Urrgh... Great Gonzales... Great fight there, son. Great fight..."

Gus

 * "Whoa! Whoa! Hold up, now! You're an outsider!"
 * "Past this point is the turf of Ishnail, head of the Robbos. It's 10 coins to pass through."
 * "You try to pass without paying, and I'm afraid I'll have to whip you but good."
 * "One, two, three...Yup! That's 10 coins all right! You can pass."
 * "Whoa! Whoa! Hold up, now! You don't have enough cash! You dirty, lying cheapskate!"
 * "It's really simple. If you don't pay, you don't pass."
 * "What? You gotta be kidding. You think you can fight your way through here?"
 * "I'm gonna make you eat your words, tough guy! Let's get this party started!"
 * "CRUD! You dumb video–game heroes ALWAYS pull this stuff! It's RIDICULOUS! You think violence solves everything, don't you? Huh? DON'T YOU?!?"
 * "You're amazing! I think I might even brag about the fact that you wrecked me!"
 * "...No, wait a second. I can't brag about getting beaten over 10 measly coins... That's pathetic! Crud!!!"

Hammer Bro

 * "My grandpappy's hammer is gonna strike you down, man! Here it comes!"

Hayzee

 * "I'm Hayzee And I must say, Luigi is a great actor, one of the finest Iv'e seen!"
 * "After this adventure, we're going on tour to appear on stages everywhere!"
 * "I'm going to be known as 'The Red Miracle'! And of course, Luigi will be grass!"

Heff T.

 * "Whoawhoawhoawhoa! What do you want?!?"
 * "BUUUUUUUUUURP!"
 * "Sorry about that. Now...What were you just saying? A pot from the kitchen?"
 * "Oh, I get it! Food gets stolen and you blame the chubby guy! NOT NICE!!!"
 * "What? Drops of stew on the floor outside?"
 * "N-No... I wouldn't know anything about that! No! People spill stuff!"
 * "And there's nothing in the drawer, so no need to look! You won't find a thing!"
 * "Doh! ......"
 * "I'm sorry! I ate it all! It was MEEEEEEEEE!"
 * "Yes... Yes, that's right."
 * "I'm so sorry, but it was a brief moment of weakness...Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!"

Hooktail

 * "Who dares approach me?"
 * "Hmm... So... You are friends of the strange–garbed one who came earlier?"
 * "I didn't expect more to come to steal the treasure I protect... Such rashness..."
 * "That was foolish, I fear. Do you really think you can beat me?"
 * "But you're so small. And you don't appear tasty. I suppose you might make a good snack. And the bottoms of your feet smell like they might make a good sauce with some spices."
 * "What I'll do is saute you to crispy goodness and gobble you down...HEADFIRST!"
 * "Snack time, little appetizers! But which one of you morsels should I taste first?"
 * "Bleck! That awful sound! It...sounds like a cricket! How did you know?"
 * "Stop that this instant!"
 * "Urp... I got really bad...ugh... food poisoning once when I ate a cricket. I HATE them!"
 * "Oh... Fight it, Hooky...
 * "Just hearing a cricket chirp makes me feel woozy!"
 * "Ooooog... Must...not...gag... My poor tummy... Uuuuurp... So very woozy..."
 * "W-Wait! Hold up a moment!"
 * "I give up! Please!"
 * "I won't be so bad anymore. I promise! In fact, I'm sorry! For everything!"
 * "Er... Yeah...
 * "To prove it, I'll give you 1,000 coins! What do you say? Can you forgive me?"
 * "Delicious! I knew you would! Money makes the world turn! Now, come get your coins..."
 * "What? You must be joking! You don't need any coins?
 * "Then how about the lovely, rare, extra-special badge I have? I'll give you that."
 * "It's one of a kind! And it's yours for a limited time only! Will you take it?"
 * "Of course you want it! Who wouldn't? Now, come here and get your badge..."
 * ''"OHHHH ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! You were completely duped by my ingenious ruse!
 * "You senseless yokels! Nothing in life is that easy! Your gullibility did you in!"
 * ''"Errr... This isn't looking so good...
 * "Errrr... Really?!?"
 * "Well, I suppose I could apologize by letting you smell the bottoms of my feet."
 * "People pay good money to do this. I'm being completely honest right now. Really."
 * "So? Care to take a whiff of the rich, yet delicate scent of my world-renowned feet?"
 * ''"Heh heh heh... Thought so. No nostril contact, though! Now! Come here and sniff!
 * "Hrrrrrrrrmmmm! You aren't a very trusting fellow, are you?"
 * "It's important to be able to trust someone, you know."
 * "Err... I guess I'd better..."
 * "Ohhh ho ho ho ho ho ho! Ahhh! Now my strength has returned to me!"
 * "Blurp! Why do I always have to feel so faint every time I hear a...urp...cricket?"
 * "B-But... I... I..."
 * "GURK!"
 * "How? Why? There's still so much I wanted to do with my life... So many meals..."

Ishnail

 * "What's that? You wanna know how to meet that lying, stealing, jerky–for–brains, Don Pianta?"
 * "Real thieves like us end up poor as dirty, never catchin' a break 'cause of that guy!"
 * "Fine, Mr. Insensitive Jerk, but it's gonna cost you 64 coins."
 * "YESSS! I mean, good call."
 * "Hey, you! That was amazin'! I can't believe how you cleared out that darkness!"
 * "You really are incredible! If I ever have a problem, I'm goin' straight to you."
 * "You saved the world, guy! You're welcome here anytime! My house is yours!"

Jerry

 * "Hi, I guess. I'm Jerry. I'm a Bob-omb from Plumpbelly Village. Nice meeting you."
 * "Sorry I sound so down, but you would be too if you saw Luigi dressed as a bride."
 * "I'm serious. It scarred me. It was honestly scarier than that giant snake-thing."
 * "I feel I now have a moral duty to stop Luigi from ever dressing as a bride again."
 * "I have to protect the world from my fate. That's why I'm sticking close to this guy."

Jolene

 * "Let's get ready to... BRAAAAWL!"
 * "Mr. Champion! No, I mean, Mario..."
 * "Please allow me to express my earnest thanks for defeating that foul Grubba."
 * "Now, sir... I mean, NO! NOT "SIR"! Grubba! I want answers, and I want them NOW! What have you done with my precious little brother? You know what I'm talking about: The first champion, PRINCE MUSH!"
 * "Well, Champ, tell us about your mind–set! After all, today's challenger is... The Great Gonzales, the only man to ever wrestle the belt away from you!"
 * "But, Champ, Gonzales showed no signs of rust in climbing back up to the ranks..."
 * "He shattered his own records, one after another! How does THAT strike you?"
 * "Big words from the champ! And now, the challenger, who needs no introduction!"
 * "The former champ returns!! The Superstar Sequel... The GREAT GOOOOOONZALES!"
 * "Listen to the crowd give it up for the brave challenger, the Great Gonzales!"
 * "It's been a while since these two met... but who will emerge victorious this time?"
 * "The battle is ready to begin! Ring that bell!"
 * "Who could've seen this coming? You couldn't PLAN a more ferocious battle!"
 * "Wild moves, raw power, fists and feathers of fury... What beautiful destruction!"
 * "This was without a doubt, inarguably, definitely, absolutely, completely..."
 * "An EXTREEEEEME battle of the very highest caliber!"
 * "But there could only be one winner, and this time, it was the GREAT GOOOOOONZALES!"
 * "Congratulations, Gonzales! Once again, you're our champion!!"
 * "Congratulations, Gonzales. I was a little worried that you were over the hill, but you made quite a comeback! You are a true champion!"
 * "Now... I think I know what you're thinking... You plan to move on, don't you?"
 * "Well, that's fine, of course. I'll keep you registered in case you were wish to return."
 * "Come back and give the folks a thrill every now and then. You know, defend your title!"
 * "Of course, if you lose, you'll have to drop back down into the major league..."
 * "Well then, I'm rather busy, as usual, so you'll have to excuse me."
 * "I need to work out a plan to bring Rawk Hawk back. That guy really draws crowds!"
 * "Have a nice day, Gonzales."
 * "Please, Mr. Gonzales, I'm very busy these days. Fight promotion is not easy!"
 * "Please see yourself out. And have a nice day!"
 * "Thank you, Great Gonzales...No, Thank you, MARIO...You're a true champion."
 * "Huh? Who am I, you ask? Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm! You don't know? I'm someone you know quite well, actually. When I go outside the arena, I like to cut loose and shed my other personality..."
 * "Fight on, Mario..."

Kammy Koopa

 * "Ah! Lord Bowser!"
 * "I've just now returned. I'm terribly sorry to keep you waiting, my lord."
 * "Please, Your Grumpiness! Don't be so impatient with your poor servant. Ahem... It's my displeasure to report that Mario, that scum, is off to a town called Rogueport."
 * "Yes, well, you see, my lord... Apparently Mario is hunting for an amazing treasure."
 * "Yes, Mario has gone in search of star-shaped jewels known as the Crystal Stars. I'm researching just what they are...but there's no question of their high value."
 * "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Leave it to me. By the way, Lord Bowser... Do you like fried eggs?"
 * "Well, during my Mario recon, I stopped in a lovely place called Petal Meadows. I was planning on taking everyone there for a picnic, having some eggs and toast... Of course, I wouldn't think of sending out invites without asking you first, Lord Bowser!"
 * "Oh, dear... Lord Bowser... Please calm down... Remember your blood pressure..."
 * "Hm? What's that?"
 * "Whaaaaat??? Is this TRUE?!?"
 * "Lord Bowser! Terrible news! Some bold fool abducted Princess Peach in Rogueport!"
 * "I'm afraid we don't have that information quite yet... The investigation's ongoing. One thing is most certainly confirmed, however: the princess has been kidnapped."
 * "But... Your Grunginess! Wait up!"
 * "Mweh heh heh heh heh! My lord! You're so super!"
 * "EEEEEEEEEP! My heart! Don't startle me like that! I'm too old for this stuff!"
 * "Mario's trying to get it all! Treasures, princesses... Does his greed never end?"
 * "You there! Two tickets! One Great and Evil King! And one Sweet, Young Thing!"
 * " Wait! Lord Bowser, please! Awwwww... Now my Special Dirigible Deluxe Brown Bag Kammy Lunch will go to waste..."
 * "Really? Neat! As for me... Glitzville was FANTASTIC! The fights were SO COOL! I was overcome! Why, even at my age, I was shaking what my momma gave me! And then...the Hot Dogs! Oh, my gracious! YUMMERLY! You have fun, too? Hm?"
 * "Your Chunkiness! Are you OK?"
 * "Mario! You sniveling bug! This is it for you! Mweh heh heh heh heh!"
 * "Lord Bowser! Lord Bowser! Rah! Rah! Rah! Get 'em!"
 * "Forgive me, Lord Bowser! I have nothing left..."
 * "Lord Bowser! Lord Bowser! Rah! Rah! Rah! Get 'em!"
 * "Forgive me, Lord Bowser! I have nothing left..."

Koopatrol

 * "Uh, Great Lord Bowser... The, uh, crusty hag Kammy Koopa will arrive momentarily."
 * "I'm really sorry for the inconvenience, but please wait at the rear of the room."

Koopa Troopa

 * "Welcome, travelers!"
 * "Hm? Where are you, you ask? Why, this is Petalburg! Sorry, but it's been a long time since we've had visitors here. We're, kind of remote. Yeppity, once that dragon Hooktail was spotted flying around this area... Well, it didn't help tourism, put it that way. People just stopped visiting."
 * "Crystal Stars, you say? Hmmm... Nope, can't say that I have. Sorry about that. You might want to speak with the mayor, though. He's old... Really, really old. As such, he knows all kinds of stuff we don't. Koopas of his age, are...um...really smart. Anyway, the mayor lives in that pink house up ahead. You should go check it out."
 * "So-called Great Gonzales! Don't think I'm gonna take it easy on you, baby!"

Koopinator

 * "You. Finally, I get a piece of you. Finally, we'll see who's truly stronger."

Koopie Koo

 * "...Omigosh! That hat! Those overalls! And... And that magnificent mustache! You're Mario, aren't you?"
 * "Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! If only Koops were as brave as you..."
 * "Well, part of it, Koops... I THOUGHT I heard you say you're off to fight Hooktail..."
 * "But...you're joking, right? I mean, you're not exactly a powerhouse... He'll eat you up!"
 * "No, Koops, you don't. I mean, going off to some dangerous place? It's... It's stupid. So what if you're timid? And sort of a crybaby. I don't care about all that. I just want you to be you. So, don't go..."
 * "FINE! IGNORE ME! STUBBORN KOOPA!!!"
 * "Koops, my sweet... I'll be right here waiting...for you to prove yourself."
 * "Oh, dear..."
 * "Koops... You're OK, right? You promised me you'd come back OK..."

Koopley

 * "YAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'm out! I'm finally out!"
 * "Hey, Son! You've gotten so big since I saw you last!"
 * "Well, I came here a while back to deal with Hooktail, and all was well and good... But just before my finishing blow, he played a trick on me and gobbled me down whole. I've been hiding in my shell for the ten years since then... Inside Hooktail's belly! And boy, was it nasty! Yuck! I'm so glad to finally get out! Ahh ha ha ha ha ha!"
 * "Hey, speaking of which... What are you doing here, anyway?"
 * "...Crystal Star? This wouldn't be what you're talking about, would it? I found it down there in Hooktail's belly. Nice, huh? I kept it as a souvenir."
 * "Nicely said, young Koops! THAT'S my boy! But always remember this: you are my son, Koops...and I am your father!"
 * "Mayor! It's the Crystal Star! But I thought Mario had this thing..."
 * "Hmmm... You may be right, but I don't know. But if anything's happened to my boy Koops and Mario..."

Koops

 * "Um... Hi there, folks."
 * "Um... Excuse me! Err... I beg your pardon! Wait a moment! PLEASE!!!"
 * "Pardon me for yelling like that... I was panicking. Umm... How to begin? M-My name's...Koops. I heard you're traveling to Hooktail's castle. So, anyway, I, uh... I have a favor to ask."
 * "Well... Ummmm... Oh, just... Just forget it. Never mind. Ignore me. Good... Good-bye."
 * "Ummmmmm... See... I was wondering... Would you... OH, PLEASE TAKE ME WITH YOU TO FIGHT HOOKTAIL! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU!"
 * "I miss him, of course... I miss him badly. But this isn't just about avenging my dad. Well, no... That's not true. Revenge is a part of it, I guess. A big part. But the truth is, I want to finish what he started. For his sake. For everyone's sake."
 * "I... Man, this is embarrasing... See, everyone always says I'm a crybaby... A weakling. But if I can defeat Hooktail... Well, I won't be those things. I'll be strong, like my dad."
 * "No need to worry, though! After all, I'm traveling with Mario. He's the man!"
 * "I'm sorry, Koopie Koo... I swear to you... I will come back to you a stronger Koopa!"
 * "Oh, man… Hooktail Castle… The stories were all true… This place is TERRIFYING…"
 * "Ummm… What’re they doing? Ouch! It’s no use, Mario! They’re all over me, man! What should we do?"
 * "Ummm… M-Mario… L-Look at that!"
 * "Oh, I don’t like the look of This… Come on! Run!"
 * "Man… That was TOO close! Gotta shake it off… Hoo. OK. We got the key, so let’s go open that spooky chest."
 * "H-Hey! Who are you? Umm, well, you see… We’re here to beat Hooktail and get the…um…Crystal Star. So…don’t think we’ll let you get the Crystal Star first, no matter how cute you are!"
 * "Darn!"
 * "Ummm… Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?"
 * "Oh, my! You’re so…bold… Is that legal?"
 * "I wonder what her story is… I bet it’s an interesting one… Full of romance…"
 * "That’s just not right!"
 * "I’ve had enough of this! Let’s finish this guy off fast, Mario!"
 * "Wow! We actually pulled it off, Mario! Now all we have to do is find that Crystal Star thing you’re looking for, Mario."
 * "Something wrong, Mario? You’re…um…shaking. Are you feeling all right?"
 * "That’s a new Mailbox SP, isn’t it? Wow, neat! Did you get some mail?"
 * "Wow… You got mail from a princess. That’s so cool! So, anyway, she’s unhurt! That’s good, at least… But I didn’t like the sound of those kidnappers looking for the Crystal Stars as well…"
 * "Um… All right, Mario! Hold up that Crystal Star!"
 * "Hey, uh, Mario, look there. The next Crystal Star showed up on the map. But… I’m sorry, but I don’t have a clue where that is. Um… I think maybe we should take it to Professor Frankly and let him look at it."
 * "Um… So, can you tell us where the next Crystal Star is or not?"
 * "A great tree in the Boogly Woods, huh?"
 * "Um… Professor Frankly… You should probably know… It’s about Princess Peach… Mr. Mario got an e-mail from her just recently. Her Highness said that the guys who kidnapped her are also hunting Crystal Stars. Oh, and she said she doesn’t even know where she’s being held. …Yeah."
 * "Um… I guess all we can do is head to Boggly Woods to find that next Crystal Star!"
 * "Hey! Mario! You see that? That was one of the things Professor Frankly mentioned!"
 * "Um… Mario, that was uncool. Don’t say stuff like that. I thought you were…nicer. Relax, relax, little guy. We’re no bullies, I swear."
 * "Um… Aren’t you one of the creatures from Boggly Woods? Why are you down here?"
 * "X-Nauts? What the heck are those? Sounds like tissues… to the extreme or something. Look, we’re not here to do ANYTHING to you, so relax. Tell us what’s going on, OK?"
 * ''"A bunch of bad guys in the Great Tree? If those are the same guys who kidnapped the princess, they want the Crystal Star!
 * "Um… I guess we should… I’d feel pretty bad if we didn’t do anything. Plus, we do need to get the Crystal Stars before those X-guys do."
 * "So, the Boggly Woods, huh? Looks mysterious, all right. What’ll we run into next?"
 * "Hey, I don't think anyone's home. It's too quiet… Maybe we should take off."
 * "Oh, no… What’s the matter? Hey, don’t take it so hard… It does look sturdy, though. What do we do now?"
 * "Not to be a worrywart, but how in the heck can we find somebody’s secret entrance?"
 * "Gee… Is something wrong? Gee whiz, that must be some nice necklace, huh? …Hang on… You know what? It’s weird… I’m sure I just heard someone talking about a necklace…"
 * "Uh-huh! Uh-huh! I remember! THEY’RE the ones with… Hey! Wait a second… What do you mean, you’ve been waiting for Mario?!? That sounds…suspicious!"
 * "Whoa, whoa, scary lady! How do you know about the map and the crystals? Have you talked to Princess Peach or something? Hey, now that I think about it, who are you, anyway?"
 * "Oh! Hey! I know you! Y-You’re that one girl… I-I never thought I’d see… Wait, uh… Listen. I mean, not that I’m happy to see you, but… I’ll shut up now."
 * "Aww, AGAIN? Why? How? You’re SO lucky, Mario!"
 * "Man, she sure is cute."
 * "Umm, while we have your attention, can I ask you something? We’re looking for this thing called a Crystal Star… Have you heard of it?"
 * "Whoa! A pipe appeared! That was kind of…spooky. Oh well, let’s keep moving."
 * "Is he a lost child? Aw, man. That’s so sad! Hey, maybe we should let him be, huh?"
 * "Um… Doesn’t it feel like he’s looking at us sort of…well, longingly, Mario? I mean… It almost looks like he fell out of his nest and is looking for a new family. This might sound crazy, but… Do you think he might be hoping to join us?"
 * "Boy! This just isn’t right. Let’s do something before my claustrophobia sets in…"
 * "Wait… You see those? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen columns like those before…"
 * "Huh? Whoa, whoa, whoa! The… The tree just shook! What was it? An earthquake?"
 * "Mario, look! Look look look! It’s the Crystal Star!"
 * "What? Did he just… Hey! What’s going on here?"
 * "D-Did he just day… Eek! H-Hurry! We have to get the heck out of here!"
 * "Um… ‘Scuse Us!"
 * "We aren’t going to let you leave, you…you big bully! You hand over that Crystal Star and…get out of this tree! Yeah, get out!"
 * "Yikes! That thing IS strong! … But I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something just not right about him… Be alert, OK? We can’t let ourselves get careless…"
 * "We pulled it off, Mario! I can’t believe it! Wow!"
 * "We’ll come back and see you again, I’m pretty sure. But… For now, we gotta go."
 * "Uh-oh! Ohhhh, man! Incoming mail!"
 * "Pretty nice, huh, Mario?"
 * "Um… Go for it, Mario! Break out the Crystal Star!"
 * "Cool! The next Crystal Star showed up on the map! Hey, but…is it me, or is it up in the sky or something? Um… What could that mean?"
 * "But, um… Why would they need to seal the treasure away in the first place? You think maybe they just wanted to protect it from thieves and robbers?"
 * "That’s not what?"
 * "Whoa, Professor Frankly!"
 * "Oh, yeah, right… Anyway, what about the next Crystal Star? It looks like a it’s floating on that map! Um… If it’s a floating city… How the heck are we supposed to get there?"
 * "Well, that doesn’t sound hard. Anyone can use these “channels”, right? Right?"
 * "Well, hey, that sounds easy! We just have to talk to this Don Pianta person."
 * "Um… Excuse me, but, uh… That’s not true! The treasure is real! Honest!"
 * "Sure! We can do anything! What is it?"
 * "Umm… What should we do? I mean. I guess we should go tell Don Pianta something. But I… I don’t want our luck to turn terrible… Whatever THAT means!"
 * "Wow, we did it, Mario! We can go to Glitzville!"
 * "Ummm… Yeah, this would be Glitzville, all right… How do they make it float? I mean, it hasn’t ever, you know, plunged from the sky or anything, has it?"
 * "Time to hunt down that Crystal Star, huh, Mario? I know I’m ready!"
 * "Wow! This place is so cool! Hey, Mario, look up there! There’s a battle match going on right now!"
 * "Umm… You see that, Mario? The thing on that shiny belt! Is that a Crystal Star?"
 * "Yeah… Yeah! It’s gotta be! That sparkle’s a Crystal Star! Umm… But that doesn’t make much sense at all. Why would it be on that guy’s belt?"
 * "Boy… I don’t know, Mario. It’s not like we can just steal that guy’s belt… …Or can we? What should be our move here?"
 * (Steal that thing!)
 * "Ummm… Listen, Mario, I think the world of you, but really… We can’t do that. It just wouldn’t be right. The way I see it, we have no choice… You gotta fight your way to the top and win that belt fair and square!"
 * (Battle our way to the top!)
 * "That’s the ticket, Mario! Do this thing RIGHT! All you have to do is become champ and you’ll get that belt fair and square!"
 * "So…I guess we better get started. There must be a novice sign-up somewhere… My tummy’s getting upset… Let’s find the guy in charge before I lose my nerve!"
 * "Hey! That’s no fair! You can’t attack before the bell rings! That’s cheating!"
 * "Come on, Mario! We can’t let a bunch of cheaters beat us. Let’s take them down!"
 * "I’ll try not to get in your way, Mario…"
 * "Ummm… OK, we can do this!"
 * "We…won? Cool!"
 * "We did it, Mario! Wow!"
 * "…Hm? Is it just me, or do you think that egg… What? You want our help, egg?"
 * "Umm… Your call, Mario. What do you want to do?"
 * (Help the little guy!)
 * "Yeah, we can’t ignore it… Good call, Mario. Let’s set this little guy free."
 * (Let there be Hot Dogs!)
 * "Mario! You’re supposed to be the adult, here! Scaring babies just plain isn’t nice! The way I see it, there’s no two ways about this thing. We let this little guy go."
 * "Ummm… Provided that’s OK with you, too, sir."
 * "Well, cool. Looks like you’re free and clear, little guy. ‘Bye!"
 * "Huh? What’s with you now? You want to follow us or something?"
 * "Ummm… I think he definitely wants to stick with us. What should we do, Mario?"
 * (OK, it can follow us.)
 * "That’s great, Mario. You’re in with us, little buddy! Stay out of the way, OK?"
 * (No. Jumping eggs bug me.)
 * "Man! I had heard you were this nice guy, but…man. Wow. Anyway, we gotta take him. Just ignore Mario. You’re in with us, little buddy! Stay out of the way, OK?"
 * "Wow! If we win, we’ll actually be in the major league! Let’s show our stuff!"
 * "Umm… Hey, uh, Mario? Did you notice that the little bouncy egg isn’t here? Where do you think it went?"
 * "Ummm…WHAT?!? You hatched out of that egg? That’s nuts… So you’re a Yoshi, huh?"
 * "Ummm… OK, Mario. Are we gonna do it this time?"
 * "Ummm… Mario? Wasn’t that your e-mail alert just now? Shouldn’t you check it?"
 * "Gee whiz! That X guy again? He wants us to go to the “watering hole”? Who in the world is this guy?"
 * "Wow, Mario! E-mails are coming fast and furious now!"
 * ""The blockade in the minor-league locker room", eh? What might be behind it?"
 * "Wow, Mario! That’s a research document on the Crystal Stars! Unbelievable! Someone commissioned a report on the Crystal Stars! A report with pictures!"
 * "Ummm… Maybe I’m being paranoid, but it seems odd that someone would lose this."
 * "Oh… Well, there she goes… Taking that document we worked so hard to get…"
 * "Well… I guess we know that the Crystal Star is in the arena, at least."
 * "Hey, that looks pretty good! You could probably get a quick energy boost from it…"
 * (Eat)
 * "All right! Cake time!"
 * (Don’t eat)
 * "Really? Boy, you have some willpower, Mario. It looks so delicious…"
 * "Umm… Was that King Bowser? What was he doing here? That…kinda freaks me out."
 * "Ummm… Mario? Your pocket’s beeping. Mail time!"
 * "Oh! It’s from X again, huh? Telephone booth? Pavilion? Does he mean outside? You remember seeing a phone booth? Well, we better go look around."
 * "Hey! Who does that guy think he is, threatening us? But wait… Threatening us… Maybe that hate mail came from Rawk Hawk! Well, one way or the other, we need to be really careful from now on."
 * "Now we have to go to some storage room? Man… This seems like a lot of legwork. Is this guy just playing with us?"
 * "Oh! Ms. Mowz! Hi there! Are you stealing something again? How exciting for you! Hey, by the way, a security guard heard you in here. Were you making noise?"
 * "Oh, sure, right, of course! I didn’t mean to doubt you, Ms. Mowz…"
 * "Oh… Mario, you lucky dog…"
 * "Boy, Ms. Mowz sure is cute. Too bad I sound like such a dork whenever I talk to her. Hey, but enough of that… What was that last thing she said, about people upstairs?"
 * "Umm… “The staircase switch”? There’s supposed to be a staircase in here somewhere?"
 * "Mario! Did you get all that? Fighters are going missing! Talk about scary! I figured King K just took an early retirement and headed home…"
 * "Wow, that was TOO close. So, Mario, you heard that part about the Crystal Star, right? Ms. Jolene acted pretty weird, I thought. Kind of suspicious… We can look into it later, I guess. For now, we better clear out before they find us."
 * "Oh, goody, this guy again. He really seems to know a whole lot of stuff… Those missing fighters… The Crystal Star… You know, if we find this guy, we’ll have all the answers! But who could it be?"
 * "Wow, that looks pretty darn good, doesn’t it, Mario? Let’s eat it, huh?"
 * (Eat)
 * "Cool! Snack break!"
 * "Oh, MAN is that ever good! Hang on a sec’, Mario… There’s a little left…"
 * "Hey… You know, this cake is so good that it feels like my whole body is going numb…"
 * "Hi. I’m feeling OK, now… But good to see you took care of business anyway! Still… A poisoned cake… Somebody wanted us out of the picture. We better watch our steps."
 * (Don’t eat)
 * "Oh, man… Are you sure? I bet it’s got that cookie crust, too…"
 * "Ummm… Say, Mario, you notice this guy over here?"
 * "Umm… You know what, Mario? That cake was poisoned! We almost ate that thing, too. If we had… Gee, if we had, we’d be in big trouble!"
 * "Hey, another mail, Mario! Who is it this time?"
 * "Oh, OK. It’s that X guy again. His messages still freak me out, but this is our only clue. The Great Gonzales posters in the lobby, huh? We have to peel them off? Well, let’s give it a shot."
 * "Ummm… What do you think that unlocks?"
 * "WHAT THE HECK?!? H-How could this happen?!? Bandy Andy! And King K!"
 * "Andy! We’re gonna get through this! Why shouldn’t we go near the ring?"
 * "Hey! Mario! You see that? Wasn’t that…Ms. Jolene? My brain is starting to hurt trying to figure all this out. What is going ON?!?"
 * "Ummm… Mr. Security Guy? Isn’t the ring this way?"
 * "Hey, listen, wait up! Where are you taking us?"
 * "Umm… Why are we in a minor-league locker room? And where is everybody? He said to wait here, but… I don’t know, Mario. We’re gonna miss our big fight!"
 * "Look, no two ways about it, we’re gonna miss this match. We better find somebody."
 * "Ohhh…crud. Bad news, Mario. This door’s been locked. We’re trapped in here!"
 * "Ummm… I’m pretty sure that we forfeit if we don’t show up at the match, Mario. We have to figure out a way to get out of here! And quick!"
 * "Nope! Still locked!"
 * "No good! This one’s locked too! I’m freaking out!"
 * "Whoa. Is that what plumbers do? I had no idea, man. Wow. Anyway, let’s go!"
 * "Phew! We made it…barely. Listen to all those cheers! Your fans are out in force! Come on, let’s get in there and beat this guy!"
 * "Well, Mario, here’s our chance. We’re fighting this monster. I’ll be right behind you!"
 * "What do you mean by that? Are you… Are you saying it was you who got us locked up by that security guard?"
 * "So it WAS you! You’re the guy who’s been sending us Crystal Star hate mail!"
 * "Wow! We pulled it off, Mario! Can you even believe it? But… You know, Rawk Hawk really didn’t seem to know about the Crystal Star… We still haven’t found the real one. I wonder where that thing could be?"
 * "Ummm… Mario? Is it just me, or do you hear a voice?"
 * "Could it be…a ghost?"
 * "Y-Y-Y-Yikes! That Mailbox SP almost scared me to death! Turn down that volume!"
 * ''"So...there is actually a ghost in here with us? Let's hide under the bed."
 * "Ummm… Is this the air duct? Where does it lead to?"
 * "Hey… That’s Mr. Grubba! Could he really have made those fighters disappear?"
 * "OK… Looks like he’s gone. He said something about his desk drawer, right?"
 * "Hey, see that? I bet that’s the document Grubba hid. Let’s check it out."
 * "Wow! A machine under the ring using a Crystal Star? These are the blueprints! I can’t make much sense of this paper, but I think the Crystal Star powers it! If this document’s correct, then the machine can…gulp… suck the power out of people! Oh, man… You think King K and Bandy Andy got, you know…drained?"
 * ''"You...great...big...JERK! How could you do that to King K and Bandy Andy?!?"
 * "Mario! Let’s go after him!"
 * "Wow, Mario! Take a look! The Crystal Star!"
 * "How could you use a Crystal Star just to look better? You won’t get away with this!"
 * "Wow! Grubba got…really big! That isn’t good!"
 * "Mario, we owe it to the other fighters to teach this maniac a lesson! C’mon!"
 * "Ms. Jolene!"
 * "Ohhh… So, our mysterious X…"
 * "Gee… She seemed kind of aloof, but she really just loved her brother…"
 * "Hey! Mario, look up there! The Crystal Star!"
 * "So… The Crystal Star brought him back?"
 * "Ummm… You sure you don’t mind us taking it?"
 * "I guess it’s OK, then, Mario! Let’s take it!"
 * "All right! That makes three Crystal Stars! We’d better get back to Rogueport, Mario!"
 * "Ummm… Mario? Do you think that’s another e-mail from Princess Peach?"
 * "Th-Th-They want to rule the w-w-world? Ummm… I don’t like the sound of that…"
 * "Mario, thanks to you, I've gained courage and inner strength, and I've grown closer to my dad. I think I like myself more since I've known you. It's all so hard to put into words. Um..."
 * "Wow. I am not feeling attractive right now…"
 * "YOU guys are the ones who are done for! Let’s settle this, once and for all!"
 * "Let’s leave these wimps, Mario..."
 * "Yikes! What a grump!"

KP Pete

 * "Yo, Rook! How was you're first fight, dog?"
 * "I'm King K, man. Just a bush-league scrub like you."
 * "Good meetin' you, man. you look like a stand-up dude. I think I can hang with you."
 * "Hey, so, why don't you meet the gang, huh? This guy here's Master Crash."
 * ''"Meet my peeps, Gonzales! I told you we were gonna square off, and now it's ON!"
 * "Yeah. My man's got, you know, some speech issues, but he's got good advice sometimes."
 * "Riiiight, man, whatever. Anyway, this lean machine over here is Bandy Andy."
 * "OK, cool, and this last guy with the sweet purple kicks is known as Cleftor."
 * "Easy there, CLeft-dog! Dude ain't the friendliest guy but you get used to him."
 * "Anyway, that's the core minor-league crew, man! You need something, ask, us."
 * "Oh, yeah... I almost forgot. You and me gotta eventually square off, so good luck, man."
 * "Hey, dog... Looks like your next match is against me. Good luck, man... to both of us."

Lady Bow

 * "It IS you, isn't it, Mario? Well, it's been quite a while, hasn't it?"
 * "I've come here with Bootler, yes, a little vacation to Poshley Sanctum. I hadn't left the mansion in ages. I figured it was time to turn some heads on the road!"
 * "GWAH HEE HAH!"
 * "But what a nice surprise to see you! Feel free to be overwhelmed by my beauty."

Lord Crump

 * "Oh, come off it, you airhead! I know it's tough for you, but don't play dumb with me!"
 * "I've seen you walking around town asking for information about the Crystal Stars."
 * ''"Well, now I'm doing the asking, so be a good girl and tell us what you know! Right. NOW!"
 * ''"I suppose it wouldn't be right if a sassy little lass like you met with an untimely demise..."
 * ''"Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Boys, we're taking this firebrand to our fortress!"
 * "Whuh? What do you think you're doing, chump? You think you can screw up my plans?!?"
 * "Gah! It's always something..."
 * "Looks like I'm going to have to give you a little taste of the old CRUMP-A-BOMB!"
 * "Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! OK, you got a couple decent shots in, I'll give you that. But...unfortunately for you, that means..."
 * ''"IT'S GO TIME!
 * ''"PUNISH HIM!
 * ''"Buh-HUUUUUH?!?
 * ''"STOPPP!!!"
 * "Where'd they go?!? Huh? You! Johnson! Did you see them? Did anyone?"
 * "Uh... Crud! They bolted!"
 * "What?!? Are you nuts? Move it, you old geezer!"
 * "Whoa. What's your problem, gramma? You got an ear hair tickling your brain, or what?"
 * "You hotheaded old coot! You dare defy me? I could shine my boots with you!"
 * "Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! You guys are nuts, you know that? Oh, well. I guess I'd better shut of this timer."
 * "Ok, you pests! One pummeling, comming up... with extra fists! Metal fists, that is!"
 * "I knew it was brilliant, but seeing you fall for it REALLY gives me a warm fuzzy!"
 * "Awake, Magnus von Grapple! Time for a technological thrashing! Enjoy!"
 * "Are you crying yet? Yeah? Sorry, but this thing isn't armed with tissues. Well, Magnus von Grapple has that effect on people. Total, weeping terror. And you ain't seen nothing yet! Check out the power on this bad boy!"
 * "Here it comes, suckers! Magnus von PUNISH!!!"
 * "Oh, it ain't over yet! This is so awesome. Check out what else this guy can do. You're gonna love it!"
 * "This might not work out too well for you!"
 * "Bleeeeee-harrrrgh... This could be the end..."
 * "Buh! Bu–AAAAAARGH! No! Magnus von Grapple! How could we lose?!?"
 * "Hurff... Hurfff... Hurffff... I'll remember this, losers!"
 * "Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh huh huh! I've got some ammo to spare! How's THAT for boom–bassa–boom?!?"
 * "I'll sink that ratty old ghost ship to the bottom of the ocean!"
 * "I'm gonna turn you guys into wee seeds... Wait, that's not right. I'll turn you into SEAWEED! Buh huh! Enjoy!"
 * ''"Buh-uuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh! Man, this is no good!
 * "I thought I was almost aced for a second there! But you haven't finished me off yet, you see urchins! I'm down, but no WAY I'm out!"
 * "MAN, THIS IS GETTING OLD! How could I lose...again?!? I HATE LOSING! Now I gotta think of another excuse for Grodus! Grrrrrrr! And with that...pow! I'm gone!"
 * "I've been waiting for you! Oh, MAN, have I been waiting! And I HAAAAAAAATE waiting!"
 * "Buh huh! I'll TELL you what it means! I used the Crystal Star to lure you here... So that I could take all of YOUR Crystal Stars! How brilliant is THAT, huh?"
 * "And wanna know the best part? Your little Peachy girl isn't even here anymore!"
 * "BUH! BUH! BUH! BUH! BUH! Like I'd tell you the plan! That's novice–villain style! No, I won't be doing anything like that. Sorry, really, guys..."
 * So... Ready for showtime? You guys are gonna be the perfect workout for... Magnus von Grapple 2.0!"
 * "I hope you're up to the challenge...because this thing is raw horsepower, kiddies!!!"
 * "Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Yeah, last version was buggy, so we made improvements... One...two...a DOZEN!!! Get ready for a whole new way to experience pain, you junior–varsity losers!"
 * "Buh huh huh! Time to unleash some of the sweet special features on this bad boy! Oh, man, this is gonna be so good..."
 * "Here it comes, suckers! Magnus Drill Attack!!"
 * ''"Buh huh huh...uh, crud. You guys should be little puddles of nothing by now... Oh well, I've still got some tricks up my sleeve!
 * "Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! EAT THIS!"
 * ''"Hurrfff... Haaaack... No... How... What? My sweet powered-up robot is on the ropes! This is wrong!

Luigi

 * "Hey, Bro! Check it out! A letter from Princess Peach arrived for you!"
 * "I'll just read it to you, how's that sound?"
 * "Ahem! Now let's see here..."
 * "What do you know? It's true! There's a weathered old map in here with the letter. Check it out!"
 * "Well, hey, big brother! Fancy meeting you here! What a co-inky-dink!"
 * "Eh? Who, me? Well, Bro, I'm on an adventure. I have to rescue Princess Eclair of the Waffle Kingdom. Yeah, it's a bad scene, all right. She's been kidnapped by the evil Chestnut King."
 * "If you gotta know, I met with some Waffle Kingdom cabinet members the other day."
 * "It was pretty crazy, Bro. Wanna hear what happened? It's a pretty long story..."
 * "Well, I went to Rumblebump Volcano and got myself a Marvelous Compass piece! It was an incredible quest! There was danger, and all sorts of adventuring! It was pretty nutso, Bro. Wanna hear what happened? It's a pretty long story..."
 * "Well, I got my second piece of the Marvelous Compass at Plumpbelly Village recently! Hoo, boy! I really got my hands dirty on that one, I'll tell you what! It was pretty wild, Bro. Wanna hear what happened? It's a pretty long story..."
 * "Well, I headed to Circuit Break Island and got me a Marvelous Compass piece! You wouldn't believe it, Bro! Talk about thrills, chills, and spills! It was pretty nuts, Bro. Wanna hear what happened? It's a pretty long story..."
 * "Well, I got another marvelous piece of that Marvelous Compass! At Jazzafrazz Town|Jazzafrazz town, this time. Bro, I'm telling you, I turned adventuring into an art form on THAT little quest! Hoo! It was preety nutty, Bro. Wanna hear what happened? It's a pretty long story..."
 * "Hey, sounds good to me! Which part of my story you wanna hear, Bro?"
 * "Well, like I said, it's a really long story, but here goes..."
 * "If you wanna hear what I've been up to, just come find me, OK? I'll be around."
 * "You go, Bro!"
 * "Hey! That's awesome, Bro! Sounds like everyone's doing great over there!"

Waffle Kingdom Letter

 * "My big brother--that's you, Bro--got a letter from Princess Peach and took off."
 * "Left behind as usual, I was cooking a snack at home when another letter arrived."
 * "We don't get so much mail, so I was thinking: 'Huh?' This is what the letter said: 'Sirs! My name is Crepe. I am a cabinet minister in the far-off Waffle Kingdom. Our land has been attacked by the Chestnut King, who took our Princess Eclair. I ask, nay, BEG for your assistance! The Waffle Kingdom needs your skills. I humbly request your prompt response, sirs. Sincerely, Crepe.' ...Well, I don't remember it exactly, but I think it went something like that."
 * "With Mario--that's you, Bro--gone, it fell to me to answer this plea!"
 * "Hesitating only a teensy bit, I headed to the Waffle Kingdom to investigate."
 * "Oh, no, first I wrote a note to myself about what I was cooking. Then I left."
 * "Once I reached the Waffle Kingdom, I met Minster Crepe, who filled me in."
 * "The Chestnut King had kidnapped Princess Eclair and vanished."
 * "Apparently, though, some oracle said a Marvelous Compass could locate her."
 * "This Marvelous Compass had been broken into seven parts by an ancient curse...and those parts had been scattered across the land. Can you believe it, Bro?"
 * "Each part of the Marvelous Compass was said to point to the next."
 * "And since one of the parts had been embedded in the tiara worn by the princess... I surmised that once I collected all the parts, I'd find her! Smart, huh?"
 * "The minister gave me the compass base spoken of in Waffler fables... When it activated, the entire thing lit right up, indicating the deep south... It was pointing me toward Rumblebump Volcano on the Pudding Continent!"
 * "So, yeah, here I am! I'm sailing out of Rogueport for Rumblebump Volcano."
 * "It's probably gonna be pretty dangerous, but... I gotta rescue that princess!"

Rumblebump Volcano

 * "As soon as my ship docked on the Pudding Continent, I set out for the volcano."
 * "To reach my destination, I spent several days fording through dense jungle..."
 * "Scary beasts were all over! More than once, I thought I was done for, Bro!"
 * "I may have screamed a bit. To scare them off, you know. But as fate would have it..."
 * "A Blooper named Blooey heard me shrieking and found me in this one town."
 * "Blooey was on a journey of his own, but he joined me after hearing my tale."
 * "Now, Blooey's a madman. Back in his hometown, they call him 'White Torpedo'!"
 * "Yeah, he's a tough guy. Anyway, he helped me fight to Rumblebump Volcano."
 * "This place was all about bubbling lava pools and heat that'd make the sun sweat."
 * "AND, the place was lousy with evil traps designed to protect the compass piece."
 * "the scariest one of all was this gigantic, 100-foot-tall statue that stomped around."
 * "Now, the weakness of this giant statue, Bro, was a red gem on its forehead..."
 * "Now, I can jump high, but not high enough to reach this thing by a long shot."
 * "So I came up with this plan for Blooey to hit that weak spot! 'All you, man!' I said!"
 * "I waited for a pause in the statue's movements and hucked Bloeey up there!"
 * "And bull's-eye! The White Torpedo saved the day! That jewel got whacked!"
 * "It was a critical hit, and that stone statue toppled and crumbled into pieces!"
 * "Once that was done, it was an easy stroll to the room where the treasure was."
 * "Unfortunately, Princess Eclair was nowhere to be found..."
 * "But I got another piece of the Marvelous Compass, and put it in the base..."
 * "Now the compass pointed west, to Plumpbelly Village on the Strudel Continent."
 * "So I set sail once again and came back here to Rogueport to recharge."
 * "That's what happened to me lately, but I'll be heading back out soon..."

Plumpbelly Village

 * "Once we made landfall on the Strudel Continent, we made for Plumpbelly Village."
 * "Once we got there, though, we immediately noticed that something was wrong."
 * "We learned from the mayor that the town was ruled by a giant snake named Hizza!"
 * "He said his own daughter was gonna be offered up as a sacrifice to this beast, too!"
 * "So, of course, being heroic, I offered myself up to go in her stead! Brave, huh?"
 * "Now, the custom was for sacrifices to be dressed as brides, so I got all dolled up..."
 * "I was one hot sacrifice, Bro. I looked so good, I fooled our foes and got in Hizza's lair."
 * "It was kind of rough fighting in that gown, but I managed. Chiffon really chafes, Bro!"
 * "I finally found Hizza...and the snake had a second head on his tail! Talk about scary!"
 * "I fainted real quick, but when I came to, I managed to distract both heads..."
 * "It reared up, fangs bared to attack, and at that moment, I deftly lunged left!"
 * "His gaping mouths smashed into one another...and he vanished in a cloud of smoke!"
 * "A shining plate fell down on the spot where Hizza's body had been coiled..."
 * "Yes! Another compass piece! I set it, and it pointed east, to Circuit Break Island!"
 * "Just as I was about to leave town, the mayor asked me to stay and marry his daughter."
 * "I thought about it--she was sorta cute--but we ended up sneaking off the next morning."
 * "I mean, I still have to rescue Princess Éclair from the Chestnut King!"
 * "And...when the Marvelous Compass activated this time, I heard somebody's voice."
 * "It was so beautiful, Bro... I'm certain it was Princess Eclair's voice!"
 * "My heart began to race! That's when I realized it: Princess Éclair... I think I..."
 * "Oh! I kinda zoned out there. Umm... So, yeah. We set sail again after ditching town..."
 * "And somehow we managed to get back here to Rogueport. And here I am!"

Circuit Break Island

 * "Just as our boat arrived at Circuit Break Island, we heard this incredible racket!"
 * "We soon found out that they hold kart races almost every day on the island."
 * "Whoever takes first place gets to rule the island as king for that day."
 * "Just as we got to the race track, they were holding the awards ceremony..."
 * "I couldn't believe my eye! Right there, on the trophy they give to the winner..."
 * "It was another piece of the Marvelous Compass! I almost passed dead away!"
 * "I decided right then and there that the only thing to do was enter the next race."
 * "I mean, I've driven in kart races before, so I'd thought I'd be OK. Boy, was I wrong."
 * "The karts were supercharged machines that could send you airborne with their exhaust!"
 * "These vehicles were armed with missiles and bazookas... It was 'anything goes,' Bro!"
 * "Of course, I wanted to get out of there, pronto! These drivers were crazed!"
 * "But I worked up my courage and signed up anyway. And my race day finally came..."
 * "I got one of the best karts: the Big Green 01! I took my position at the start line..."
 * "The light went green, I stomped the accelerator... and something bad happened."
 * "I was in reverse! The Big Green 01 went rocketing backwards with me yelling..."
 * "I crashed into the wall behind me hard enough to cut me off midscream."
 * "In one fell swoop, I dropped into last place and wrecked my racing machine..."
 * "But it wasn't all bad news: all the other karts crashed because of my maneuver..."
 * "Once I got in gear and took off, I was the only car left! I won by a country mile, Bro!"
 * "I took the piece off my trophy and added it to the Marvelous Compass..."
 * "The compass came to life and pointed me toward Jazzafrazz Town in the east!"
 * "Then I heard that voice! Princess Eclair's voice echoed in my ears again!"
 * "Oh, my princess! Random words would form poetry if spoken by your voice!"
 * "I will most definitely save you! Just wait for me! Princess Eclair!!!"
 * "Oh! Sorry about that, Bro... Umm... So, after that, I got back on my boat..."
 * "And came back here to Rogueport. And that's what's been up with me."

Jazzafrazz Town

 * "As soon as we hit Jazzafrazzz Town, we were overcome by the glitz and the glamour."
 * "It's a very lively place, Bro. Tons of Dayzees live there, and they're always smiling."
 * "While looking for the piece of compass, I met a hip Dayzee named Hayzee."
 * "Hayzee was a producer, and he was looking for actors to go on stage with him."
 * "I told him we couldn't, since we were looking for the compass part, you know."
 * "But Hayzee said we could WIN the compass part in the upcoming Drama Slam!"
 * "He said the so-called Dramalamma Plaque might, in fact, be one of the parts!"
 * "Well, we just had to give it a try, so we rehearsed with the cast and hit the stage!"
 * "Our musical was called 'The Mystery of the Fiery Hat of Social Awareness."
 * "The script was great, but I got really hosed, Bro... My 'role'... My 'part'..."
 * "...Was grass! I played grass by the side of the road! Grass, Bro! Grass!"
 * "I just sprawled out on the ground and had to be silent. Everyone but me had lines..."
 * "I don't care if I was wearing green! Who casts someone based on that? It was awful!"
 * "In the end, our musical was the talk of the town, and we won the Drama Slam."
 * "I got the compass part I was after, but even that didn't make me very happy."
 * "The huge after-party just bummed me out more, so I snuck out of the back door."
 * "But WOW! Outside were a ton of fans! MY fans! fans of grass! They swarmed me!"
 * "I just couldn't believe it! Imagine! Cheering for grass! I was estatic, Bro!"
 * "After that I added the piece to the Marvelous Compass, which pointed north."
 * "It pointed to the Rapturous Ruins in Grimble Forest. Then... The voice again..."
 * "Oh my cherished Princess Eclair! How you sooth me! I would be grass for you..."
 * "I will find you! I will reach you! I will stand by your side and be your Luigi!"
 * "Wow. Sorry about that, Bro. Umm... So, yeah, anyway... Then I got back on my boat."
 * "I came back to Rogueport, and here I am, another leg of my adventure completed!"

Rapturous Ruins

 * "After journeying deep into the Grimble Forest, I found the domed Rapturous Ruins."
 * "Inside, everything was pure white. You couldn't tell where the floor became walls..."
 * "Proceeding dead ahead, I found myself in a chamber where a young boy sat."
 * "As I approached the boy, someone named Screamy appeared out of nowhere!"
 * "Screamy said the boy's name was Cranberry, and that he'd wake for a child of fate."
 * "That didn't make any sense to me, so I started searching quietly for the compass piece."
 * "But then it happened, Bro: I got a tiny tickle in my nose, and I let out a huge sneeze!"
 * "Well, Cranberry must've heard it, 'cause he opened his eyes right up!"
 * "He looked at me and smiled. And all of a sudden, I could understand his language!"
 * "Can you believe it? I learned that the boy was the last of an ancient race, the Luffs..."
 * "He had been there guarding the Marvelous Compass piece for the last thousand years!"
 * "He told me that the compass is an item with the power to see into the future..."
 * "The ancient Luff empire used the power of the compass to rule much of the world."
 * "Because of their greed, they were cursed by the compass, and their empire collapsed."
 * "To prevent a repeat of their fate, Cranberry broke the compass into seven parts."
 * "He hid six and kept one, putting himself to sleep until a worthy hero woke him."
 * "I WAS that hero, Bro! He gave it to me, and then he and the ruins vanished..."
 * "When I added that piece to the compass..."
 * "It pointed to the far north, where Dreaded Hatesong Tower stands."
 * "This time, I heard Princess Eclair's voice more clearly than ever before!"
 * "I will rescue the Princess! I will be super! And then I'll... I'll... I'll..."
 * "Well, I'll figure the rest out later. Anyway, I headed back here to Rogueport after that."
 * "I'm making my final preparations for my final battle now."
 * "I'm a little nervous, Bro. But that's what I've been up to, anyway!"

Hatesong Tower

 * "Hatesong Tower stands atop a jagged, unclimbable cliff beyond the northernmost sea."
 * "The winds whistle down the cliff, howling like banshees singing songs of hate..."
 * "People say it's pretty much the scariest place in the world. And I had to go there."
 * "Blocking out the bone-chilling howls, I somehow managed to reach the tower's door."
 * "I was terrified, but thoughts of Princess Éclair warmed my heart and gave me power."
 * "All of my companions felt the same way. They were with me to the bitter end."
 * "The door to the tower swung slowly open to reveal an inconceivable darkness..."
 * "I tried to call out Princess Eclair's name, but I couldn't even breathe because..."
 * "As I strained my eyes in the darkness, I saw the most terrifying beast of all!"
 * "The Chestnut King himself appeared before me! He was monstrous and drooling!"
 * "Puddles of toxic goo dripped from his mouth, melting the very ground at our feet!"
 * "I couldn't stop shaking, but I gritted my teeth and faced the evil beast dead-on!"
 * "I dodged the king's fangs, jumped onto his chest, and gave him a hammer-whack!"
 * "My swing split the air and crashed dead-center onto the Chestnut King's skull!"
 * "Hope powered me up, Bro! I was going toe-to-toe with the king, and I was loving it!"
 * "'This is it' I thought! I can win this! I'll risk it all on my next blow!"
 * "I gripped my hammer tight and waited for my moment... The tension stung me..."
 * "SHHHHHWHAAAAACK! The ocean winds raged against the tower windows!"
 * "With that sound as my call to battle, I advanced with no mercy in my heart!"
 * "And then... And then... I beat him. I defeated the Chestnut King."
 * "An even worse beast came next, a nightmare thing... but I beat it too."
 * "I rescued Princess Éclair It was all over."
 * "And then I came back to Rogueport and had a light lunch. And that's about it."

Magikoopa

 * "You, fool, would do well to fear our dark magic..."

Marilyn

 * "Guhhhhh..."
 * "Guh! Guh!"
 * "Uh... Guh! Guh?"
 * "Guh! Guhhhhh?"
 * "Guh! GUHHH!"
 * "Uhhhh-guh..."
 * "The Three..."
 * "GUUUHHH!"
 * "Guh!"
 * "GUUUUUUUUUUUUH!"

Mario

 * "Wohoo!"
 * "Wah!"
 * "Awawawawahaha!"
 * "Yes!"

Master Crash

 * "Nice to meet you BOMB!"
 * "Well. Now that we've gotten to know each other, I will give you advice BOMB!"
 * "As Mr. Jolene was saying, you'd better BOMB obey Mr. Grubba's conditions."
 * "If you clear the conditions and win, you get to fight higher-ranked foes BOMB!"
 * "If you can't clear them, you BOMB end up battling a lower-ranked fighter BOMB!"
 * "You can't climb the BOMB ranks fighting the bottom of the barrel BOMB-BOMB!"
 * "Not just sometimes BOMB! Advice is ALWAYS useful BOMB-BOMB!"
 * "Here we go, Gonzales BOMB! I have advice! Just give up now BOMB-BOMB!"
 * "You are in BOMB denial, Cleftor. I saw you weeping in that locker BOMB-BOMB!"

Mayor Dour

 * "Oh, badness... Now poor Freddy got turned into a pig... Not good."
 * "I'm the mayor of this poor town. Some call me Dour. I'm not exactly the sharpest fellow, but I do believe you're adventurers, right? This isn't the place for the telling of tales, sadly. Come. Come to my home."
 * "My traveling friends... Welcome to Twilight Town. Well, I'd LIKE to welcome you... But "welcoming" people is generally a good thing, and it's nothing but bad here."
 * "As you may have guessed...our town has been cursed."
 * "Yes, cursed. That is the right word, right? Yes, of course it is. You see... Beyond town is a forest, and in its heart is an ancient building, the Creepy Steeple. The dark creature who lives there... Its curse ordains that when the steeple bell rings... One of the Twilighters living here in the village...becomes a pig."
 * "Will my loved ones become swine? Will I, too, become [Pig|a curly-tailed oinker]]? I'm so worried, I can't sleep at night. Of course, night and day are pretty similar here... If this keeps up...well...the village will be one giant pigpen. Which would be bad. Let me give you some advice. Leave us! Leave before you, too, get...piggified!"
 * "Uh... I don't know about any Crystal Star thing...but in Creepy Steeple... There's a glittery red stone shaped like a star..."
 * "Uh... You people... You aren't thinking of going to Creepy Steeple, are you?!? Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... Unthinkable..."
 * "I can't believe it was a fake Mario all that time... So we were all fooled... I'm so sorry, Mario... After all you've done for our town... Did we hurt your feelings?"
 * (Maybe a little...)
 * "... Er... Well, all right, it's OK to be in touch with your feelings. So then! You've brought a shining ray of light to our dim little town! Twilight Town thanks you!"
 * (Nah, not really.)
 * "You're a bigger man than I, Mario! Such fortitude! You're a true hero! You've brought a shinging ray of light to our dim little town! Twilight Town thanks you!"
 * "Please come back to visit anytime you like!"

Mayor Kroop

 * "Hmph? Whuzzat? Someone there? Who is it? WHO?!? What do you want from me? I know! You're thieves! Here to rob a defenseless old Koopa! Despicable!"
 * "Go on, do what you will...but as you can plainly see, there's nothing to steal here. Oh, I guess I have a little money... Take it, you fiends. And my antique shell, too. Just leave the photos of me and the missus. Can't do without those memories..."
 * "What? Not thieves, you say? Well, what's your story, then? Oh, wait... You folks looking for Crystal Stars?"
 * "Well, why didn't you pipe up before, you ijit! We're just wasting time, here!"
 * "The Crystal Stars you say you're hunting... Errrmm... Wait... What did I hear about those dang things, again?"
 * "Aha! Got it! Hooktail! Hooktail's got what you're looking for! It's this enormous, ornery dragon. Eats folks, they say. You know Hooktail, right?"
 * "Well, this Hooktail's brutal fly-by snackings have all of us on pins and needles. So, are you reckless fools... I mean... Are you gallant heroes off to rough it up?"
 * "This DOES sound promising!"
 * "Why, if you can rid us of Hooktail, we'll shower you with gratitude and rewards. Wait, what's that I hear? You'll accept no rewards?"
 * "What an unselfish man! You're noble, indeed... Yup, a good egg. Now... What did you say your name was, again?"
 * "...Murphy? Hmm... That's a fine name. Yes, a fine name, indeed. Well now, Murphy..."
 * "I appreciate that, Murphy! They ARE nice eyebrows."
 * "Now, listen up. If you're intent on going to Hooktail's castle, find the secret pipe near this village. I don't know where it's at, but I know you need stone keys to use that pipe. The keys are somewhere in Shhwonk Fortress, just past the village. Get them first."
 * "Well then, Murphy... Get going and take care of that Hooktail monster!"
 * "Ahem... May I just add... If anything happens, you can always come home, Koops. Don't you ever forget that. This village will always be your home."
 * "Oops! I forgot to set out the tea! Aren't I an old ninny? My apologies. In fact, I haven't even added the hot water part. Awful sorry. ...At least I THOUGHT you could, but it looks like you can't carry anything else. I'll leave it here for you, so you can come get it anytime you like, OK?"
 * "Hmmm, now?"
 * "What's this shiny thing?"
 * "...I wonder, kids, if this is related to the sky getting all dark and whatnot..."
 * "Uh... Er... Whuh... Hmmm... Umm... Wh-What's going on?"

McGoomba

 * "You never know who'll be watching, so let's do this thing quick."
 * "Take this package to Goomfrey. You'll find him in front of Frankly's place."
 * "And try not to be seen."
 * "Did you deliver it? Phew! You saved my neck, buddy."
 * "Oh! I almost forgot your compensation. You saved my neck. You get something good."

Merlee

 * "We're under the folks up top! In my fortune-telling shop! I see your fortune...but stop! If you wish to talk to me, across the table you must be. Thank you, really, golly, gee!"
 * "Hello. Welcome. I'm Merlee. Underground, cute as can be! A fortune-teller, that is me. Lucky for you, coming here. I tell fortunes, have no fear! ♡"
 * "Let my mystic power tell of days to come...more, as well. For luck sits on my spells. What do you say, Mr. Guy? Want to give it a try?"
 * "That's good. That's great! Choose your path to fate! ♡ Which path do you choose?"
 * "OK. That's fine by me! So, ready? Ready for me? OK... Here we go! ♡"
 * "My mystic power can make you smile! ♡ In battle, you'll win with style! Even if nasty foes arrive, you'll be fine since my fortune will thrive! ♡"
 * "OK! Come again! See you soon! See you then! Good-bye! ♡"

Merlon

 * "Welcome to the home of Merlon, the super-magician. I foresaw your arrival. So... Which partner would you like me to power up?"
 * "Shall I power up this partner?"
 * "SHA-ZIBBY! SHA-ZOOBY!"
 * "Then you may go!"

Merluvlee

 * "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh-hah! ♡ Welcome, Mario. I am Merluvlee, the lovely fortune-teller. Seeing with my amazing abilities that which you seek is my humble job. The light of the shining stars will light that I wish to see. Ah-hah! ♡ So! Shall I see something for you?"
 * "Ahhhhhhh-hah! Is that so? Well, if there is ever anything you want to find, just ask."

Mr. Hoggle

 * "No! Bad! So very bad! Behave yourself, egg!"
 * "No! Bad! Come back! Help! My important egg escaped! Somebody, catch it!"
 * "So bad! It does not even have arms and legs, and still I cannot catch it!"
 * "My menu was going to have the Southern Fried Egg Dog of Tastiness, but now... Bad!"
 * "I ordered that naughty egg from an island in the south! I had to pay shipping, too!"
 * 'Don't just stand there! Help catch it!!!"
 * "MOST AWFULLY BAD!"
 * "Come down from there, egg! How am I supposed to get it now? FLY there?!?"
 * "You! Don't just stand there with your mustache! Find a way to get up there!"
 * "Aww... Fine. Most people don't like eating stuff that jumps all over the place, anyway."

Ms. Mowz

 * "Huh? Oh, my! Who's this handsome piece of cheese?"
 * "I can't believe there are other thieves here besides me. How very strange..."
 * "Me? Why, I'm Ms. Mowz, the globe-trotting thief! Heard of me, sweetie? ♡"
 * "I heard there were rare and valuable badges here in this castle. That's why I'm here."
 * "But the real question is...why are people like YOU roaming in such a run-down place?"
 * "Crystal Star, you say? Mmmm hmm hmm!"
 * "I didn't know a thing like THAT was hidden in this castle... Sounds intriguing!"
 * "Perhaps I just heard something you didn't want me hearing? Mmm hmm hmm hmm!"
 * "Oh, but that's OK... I mean, you were looking for this Crystal Star first..."
 * "And I already found the badge I was after, so I'll let you get your Crystal Star. ♡"
 * "Mmmm hmm hmm hmm! ♡ It means I must say bye-bye for now, Mr. Cutie."
 * "I know. It's sad. We just met, and already it is time to say farewell. Alas... ♡"
 * "Oh, I almost forgot... I have a little secret to share with you. ♡"
 * "Somewhere in this castle is a badge that'll help you best Hooktail, or so I've heard."
 * "I don't know what kind of badge it is. Maybe you found it already, maybe not."
 * "If you're going to fight Hooktail, I'd recommend finding that badge first."
 * "Well, take care, handsome mustache man! Let's get together again real soon!"
 * "We must move quickly, love. Let's go to the professor's office, quick as a wink! We have to speak to him of Princess Peach's e-mail."
 * "Well, we're waiting, Professor. What did you find out?"
 * "You strange, strange man. What did THAT mean?"
 * "Well, the way I see it, it may be entirely the wrong idea to collect these things. Why, someone could just steal all the Crystal Stars from us and resurrect that demon! I feel as though the best course of action might be to destroy them utterly."
 * "Oh, my! I suppose we'd better shake our tails and find the other Crystal Stars! Tell me, Professor, where is the next one located?"
 * "Keelhaul Key?"
 * "Don't be so coy, Admiral! We've already found out your identity!"
 * "But… Don't be like that! We truly need your help, can't you see that? Without you, we'll surely meet our ends on the way to Keelhaul Key!"
 * "Mmmm… Your thoughts, Mario? We don't seem to be getting anywhere with this man."
 * "I can't help but wonder… What could turn such a man against the sea? I think our only option is to ask around and see if anyone knows his tale."
 * "Why must romance so often end in tragedy? Why?!? I see why he won't sail…"
 * "Thank you, Podley. That had to hurt you to admit… We'll deliver the letter. Let's go, Mario."
 * "Admiral Bobbery!!! Excellent!"
 * "'You out there in front of the TV'? I think that man might have the sea madness."
 * "Mmmmm… Mario, sweetie? I believe Bobbery may just be sleeping… Yes, in fact, I'm positive. And after all that worrying… Smack him awake, sweetie!"
 * "Bobbery… He's not quite up to speed, I don't think…"
 * "Such melodrama… You're still alive, dearie."
 * "Mario, dearie… I think that Flavio's gem might be just the thing for that eyehole…"
 * "Mmmm… Is he actually on our side, do you think?"
 * "There's that terrible voice again… I'd say those ghosts are probably nearby…"
 * "Oh, I'm sure they'll be completely fine here… Let's go, Mario."
 * "Mario… I think the time is right for us to head for the door, don't you think?"
 * "Do you hear that, sweetie? Your captured princess must be e-mailing you."
 * "My, my, my! The princess is quite capable, isn't she? We've work to do, too!"
 * "OK, then! Now we must go see Professor Frankly."
 * "Hey… Isn't that place simply BURSTING with the rich and famous? Excellent."
 * "Well? Don't tease us, Professor. How do we get there from here?"
 * "You know, I had heard that one must be rich or famous to ride the Excess Express…"
 * "Oh, I do NOT think that's a good idea! Do you know him? He is NOT one to mess with! …Ah, well. If we have to, then I'm in, but it could get ugly. Come on, Mario. Let's go."
 * "You mean that cutie Frankie and that darling Francesca? They were on Keelhaul Key!"
 * "Do you think these two can really make it on their own, dearie? Personally, I don't think so. Yes, we should help them…"
 * "Lovely! Next stop, Poshley Heights! Marvelous! I've begun to think we should find that sixth Crystal Star as fast as we can…"
 * "Oh, my! You're Beldam!"
 * "We'd better move, Mario! If she gets to Poshley Heights before we do… Quickly! To Rogueport Station!"
 * "Mmmm…the Excess Express! Now this is what I call traveling in style! The three days to Poshley Heights will be over before we know it, dearie!"
 * "Mmmmm? There's something on the floor… Trash, perhaps? When did that get there?"
 * "Mm… What a strange threat… Do you think that Beldam woman might be behind it? Well, at any rate, the fact that the note is here means the culprit is on the train. We must find this ne'er-do-well before he or she can hatch a plan!"
 * "Oh, hang on! This looks like spilled stew on the carpet! How marvelous! We can just follow the drops to the thief! It might even be the same person that wrote the sticky, yummy threat, dearie! …What makes me say that? It takes a thief to find a thief, sweetie!"
 * "All right, dearie, let's turn in, shall we? The conductor can handle any problems."
 * "This document is just like the other one! The suspect must be in here somewhere…"
 * "Mario, dearie! What are THESE things?!?"
 * "Do you think these little beasts flipped the switch? Let's hurry up and find it so we can switch it back!"
 * "Mmm, the beginning of a new day… And such a cool and brisk morning, as well!"
 * "Hey, aren't those the things from the station yesterday? They must've stowed away!"
 * "Oh, no, they've gotten inside the train! We have to take them out!"
 * "What IS that vile thing? …Oh, no! Mario, look! It's got the other passengers!"
 * "We're finally here, dearie! Let's waste no time, hmmmm? Let's find Poshley Sanctum, as Frankly recommended."
 * "Hmm… Should I just jimmy the lock, dearie?"
 * "Hmmmm? You live here? So YOU'RE the Sanctum Manager? Oh, my… I thought you were a detective!"
 * "Oh, dear! We're too late!!! We'd better go after them!"
 * "Mario! Is that an e-mail from your princess?"
 * "Mmmm… The moon, is it? Peach is on the moon? Sounds intriguing! But why is her e-mail cut off? You don't think…something's happened to her…do you?"
 * "Oooh, it's so chilly… I wonder where this place is."
 * "My, my, what's this now? The last Crystal Star… It can't possibly be there…"
 * "The moon?!? Isn't the princess trapped there, too? Something about this doesn't seem right…"
 * "We're using a CANNON to get to the moon? Whatever you say, darling…"
 * "Well, where is this Fahr Outpost, Professor?"
 * "An Ultra Hammer? But, sweetie, we've already got one of those!"
 * "No problem at all, sweetie! Fahr Outpost, it is!"
 * "So, this is Fahr Outpost… I don't see any cannon that can shoot to the moon… I guess we should start by chatting with the villagers, don't you think?"
 * "We did it, sweetie!"
 * "AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIII!"
 * "Oh, my! That was quite fun! I can't say I ever thought I'd take a ride like THAT!"
 * "Well, here we are, on the moon, dearie! Are you ready? Then let's find the last Crystal Star and save Peach!"
 * "This building smells suspicious. Let's be careful, dearie!"
 * "Mario! These X-Naut soldiers running around means… Yes, I'm positive! The Crystal Star must be here, too!"
 * "Peach must be here, too! Let's find her, dearie!"
 * "Where are we, anyway?"
 * "We're underneath Rogueport! The X-Nauts used that thing to come here from the moon!"
 * "You! Been waiting, have you? And what does THAT mean?"
 * "So Peach WAS here! Where did you take her, you awful man?!?"
 * "Don't kid yourself, dearie!"
 * "Mario!"
 * "We've finally got all seven Crystal Stars! Fantastic! Now we can open the Thousand-Year Door! Mmm, but…"
 * "We still don't know where Peach is…"
 * "Well, let's head back to Rogueport, dearie. Perhaps the professor can help us find Princess Peach."
 * "Where are we now?"
 * "Peach is in the Palace of Shadow?"
 * "But…what'll happen to you?"
 * "…We understand, TEC."
 * "Mario! We have to save Peach…for TEC, too!"
 * "Hmmm… Did you hear that?"
 * "She was, yes…but the X-Naut boss took her and went to the Thousand-Year Door…"
 * "Ex-CUSE me? Without the seventh Crystal Star, that door should never have opened!"
 * "Hmm! Look! The door!!!"
 * "I'm with you, Mario!!!"
 * "What an unpleasant place… but we don't have a choice in the matter! We have to get in there and save Peach before this gets any more out of hand! Let's go, dearie!"
 * "AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIII!"
 * "Mmm… We get out of one odd room just to find another… It's so huge…like an underground city, almost… What IS this place?"
 * "Isn't that Hooktail, dearie? I thought you beat Hooktail… What's it doing here???"
 * "Mario! Look at that!"
 * "It's so big…but what is it?"
 * "My! It's moving!"
 * "Huh? What?!?"
 * "What was that?"
 * "What?!? Professor Frankly?!? What are YOU doing here?!?"
 * "Opening the door for you? What do you mean by THAT, you awful thing?"
 * "Oh, I think YOU'RE the ones who will be smarting after this! Let's finish it!"
 * ''"Let's leave these idiots, Mario..."
 * "This room gives me a very bad feeling, dearie. What IS this chamber?"
 * "So, this fellow is the leader of those X-Nauts?"
 * "No! So the last Crystal Star we found on the moon… We were so blind!"
 * "Be careful, dearie! He looks tough!"
 * "We'll never let that happen!"
 * "Mm?"
 * "Princess Peach?!?"
 * "You wouldn't!"
 * "What do we do, Mario? I don't like our chances if we don't attack him…"
 * "What? This isn't very fair! All this and Bowser, too?!?"
 * "Phew… That was too close. At least we've got that thorn pulled out of our sides. Now…let's save Peach!"
 * "What?!? Where's Grodus?!?"
 * "That was Peach!"
 * "What's going on here?!?"
 * "Possess Peach?!?"
 * "P-Peach…"
 * "Wh-What's going on, Mario?"
 * "Who does this witch think she is? Mario is no pawn of evil! Ridiculous! Right, Mario?"
 * "Mario, you've been through a lot to get here… You've worked miracles in that time… So keep your magic going here… Mario, my sweet! Muster your courage and defeat the Shadow Queen!"
 * "Mario, what should we do? We could be finished…"
 * "Why are we even talking about this? NEVER!"
 * "The Crystal Stars? Ahhhh!!!"
 * "Is that…"
 * "Can you hear them, Mario? So many voices…"
 * "They're… They're all sending us their wishes and positive energy… That's so nice…"
 * "Mario! Look at THAT!!!"
 * "That voice… Princess Peach?!?"
 * "What… What IS this? I feel completely full of powerful energy now…"
 *  "PEACH!!!"  
 * "Mario! This is it, dearie! We're almost through!"
 * "Now we're in business! Get ready to pay!"
 * "Princess Peach!"
 * "Mario! Come here!"
 * "Princess Peach is A-OK! She's not even hurt!"
 * "Don't fret, Peach! It wasn't too much trouble…"
 * "Oh, Professor…"
 * "It is time for us to part, my little cheese hunk. But I will not say farewell, because you're welcome here anytime you please, sweetie! Until then... adieu."
 * "Mmm hmm hmm! It means I must say bye bye for now Mr. Cutie. I know. It's sad. We just met. But for now, farewell!"
 * "Mmmm… I'd stay out of dark alleys for a little while if I were you…"
 * "My! What a crab!"
 * "You look a bit weak to be fighting us... Mmm hmm hmm!"
 * "Well, what did you expect?"

Pa-Patch

 * "Oy, Flavio!"
 * "Heard you talkin' there, sir! If you don't mind me sayin'... I might 'ave a solution..."
 * "Well, sir, I've 'eard talk of a famed... No! A LEGENDARY sailor livin' in Rogueport. Yeah, I think he's called Admiral Bobbery... A salty sea dog, by all accounts... But...he's said to 'ave the Helmsman's Touch, sir: he can make any ship bow to his will. Thing is, there ain't a soul wot's seen him on the seas of late..."
 * "Great. He's started again. A "tale of bravery", right? I heard this one yesterday..."
 * "There's nowhere to escape to... We just have to listen until he's finished... Yeah, if you interrupt him midstory, he absolutely loses it, too... ...Uh, why is the ...What? Wait, what's going on here? The ship's stopping."
 * "Oy! Master Flavio! Awful sorry to interrupt that wicked story... But the ship's stopped..."
 * "Oh, aye aye, Flavio! I'll get on it, right quick! Wait a tick!"
 * "Yeah, yeah, I'm workin' on it! Just wait a Goomba-stompin' moment, ya scallywags..."
 * "OY! Quit shovin', eh?!? I'm workin' over 'eere! I said QUIT SHOVIN'!!"
 * "Uh...AARGH!"
 * "...Th-Th-They're 'ere!"
 * "N-N-No... They're upon us... The p-p-p-pirate...GHOSTS!"
 * "All them rumors were true!"
 * "Whuh... Uh... What do we do? We gotta get outta here! AAAAAAAAAAIGH!"
 * "Oy! Captain 'Stache!"
 * "It ain't much, but we finished a wee hut for you to rest in! Come 'ave a look!"
 * "What are you talkin' 'bout?!? You were the one quakin' in 'is boots, fancy pants!"
 * "That's right, fancy pants! Fancy pants! Fancy pants! Fancy pants! Fancy pants!"
 * "Oy, that's right fine by me! I can't wait to put a few dents in those fancy threads!"
 * "C-C-Captain 'Stache! Them ghosts are back!"
 * "Yes! Yer a bloomin' BEAST, Captain 'Stache!"
 * "What?!? The spirit o' Cortez was guardin' the treasure? An' you beat 'im, but you left all the treasure there?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! What were you THINKIN'?!? Were you tryin' to be NICE?!? Awww, well... That's what I like about you, I guess..."
 * "AAAAACK! What is THAT?!?"
 * "Oy, now... Ain't that good ol' Four-Eyes?"
 * "Look, we're sailors... We're not much good for anythin' wifout a ship to sail!"
 * "Oy! I ain't lettin' ol' Flavio Fancy-Pants hog the glory! Come on, Captain 'Stache!"
 * "Yeah, I'm gonna stay here. It's a right nice place to live wifout any ghosts, eh?"
 * "General White? Yeah, he was 'ere until a second ago. But he took off, right quick. Said he was goin' to an arena, or somefin'..."

Paragoomba

 * "Wassup, baby? Why don't you hang with us for a while? We play real nice!"
 * "What, you're too good for us? Come off it, sister!"

Parakarry

 * "Mail call!"

Parrot

 * "Skrawk? What happened to those weirdos who were just here? Ah, whatever... It was almost nice to have some company... I mean, no matter how important it is that no one know[s] his real name... Locking me up in here just because I know it... And making me guard the name's stupid missing letter... No way to treat a parrot! I REALLY want a cracker... Doopliss, you're a big meanie. When's feeding time, huh?"
 * "Skra-WAAAAAAAAAARK?!? Uh... Pretty bird! Pretty bird!"
 * "Man, am I tired of this stupid parrot babble act... It's so demeaning. And guarding this dumb letter here... I should report that Doopliss to the proper authorities...unless he gives me a cracker."
 * "Shine get! Shine get!"

Pennington

 * "Rudimentary, my dear Luigi!"
 * "No need for introductions. I know all about the famous Luigi!"
 * "We could have questioned him about all that Beldam business..."
 * "Ah, it is my dear Luigi! What are you doing at my doorstep, young fellow?"
 * "Well, yes... That is more like a hobby of mine, if the truth must be told."
 * "But enough chatter, hm? Shall we go inside?"
 * "Just a second there, Luigi! Exactly WHAT is going on here? Speak quickly!"
 * "Hm, yes, quite rudimentary... So you were looking for the Crystal Star in this sanctum..."
 * "Ohohohohohohohohohoho! Yes, very interesting..."
 * "Well, no cause for worry! The Crystal Star is safe! Yes, quite safe, indeed!"
 * "The stone that our rude friends stole was fortunately a red herring! A fake!"
 * "The real one is hidden somewhere in this sanctum to prevent such a theft!"
 * "However... As to the location of the real Crystal Star..."
 * "Well, as Sanctum Manager, I am, of course, prohibited from telling anyone..."
 * "However...I do know where it is! Of that you can be most certain! Yes, indeed!"
 * "Besides, I am sure a junior detective like yourself can could find it on your own!"
 * "Now, Luigi! Put to use all of the razor-sharp sleuthing skills I have taught you! Make me proud!"
 * "Hm... So that is where it was..."
 * "Oh, er, nothing! NOTHING! Just talking to my brain. All genuises do it."
 * "Congratulations, Luigi! You have found the real Crystal Star!"
 * "So please, feel free to take it... I will just put another fake one over here..."
 * "Well, traveling with you has been rather hectic, but I do admit, rather fun, as well!"
 * "I am sure you still a long road ahead, Luigi, but do not give up!"
 * "I do believe I will miss you when you are gone, Luigi."
 * "Oh, and, Luigi... Please give my regards to your dear brother!"
 * "You there! I have you now, villains! You...are common thieves! Aren't you? AREN'T YOU???"
 * "My eyes never deceive!"
 * "…Uh-oh. B-Bowser, you say? Remorseless King of… What was that last bit, again? Yes, well, no matter! Hmm… Yes… Yes… I… So I deduced! Ahem! Then listen well! That Crystal Star is actually a veritable red herring! Yes! An imposter!"
 * "What? The Shadow Thief?!? I knew this had the scent of no mere burglary!!! Ha! You've been hornswoggled, Shadow Thief...for that is a red herring! A fake!"
 * "I see… Unfortunately for you… that's a red herring. Yes, a fake. If you want it, it's yours."
 * "If you must know, I gave the real one to Luigi! Ohhhhh ho ho ho ho ho!"
 * "...Will you, now? Luigi! Well done, lad! Way to not fail! ...Yet."
 * "M–Mario?? G–Gonzales?? Not... L–Luigi??"
 * "Luigi... Er, no, rather... I mean M–Mario... How are you, dear boy?"

Piranha Plant

 * "Prepare to be ensnared, mystified, and devoured!"

Petuni

 * "...Big brother?!? Is that my Punio?"
 * "I knew you'd come for me, Punio! I just KNEW it!"
 * "OK!"
 * "Big brother! You came!"
 * "OK, big brother! I'll be waiting."
 * "It's a mushroom..."
 * "Yeah, Yeah, I know... I picked it so I could give it to my brother to eat. But then I got captured and stuck in here, and after a few days it dried out..."
 * "Big brother!!!"
 * "Nope! I'm fine!"
 * "Hey, Big brother... I have something for you!"
 * "I meant to give this to you sooner, but..."
 * " Mushrooms are your favorite, aren't they, big brother? But... Well this one kinda got dried out..."
 * "Big brother... It was icky, wasn't it?"
 * "I'm sorry."
 * "Big brother? You OK?"
 * "Hey, quit it, Punio! C'mon! Don't get all mushy! Everyone's staring!"
 * "...Aw, it was nothing!"
 * "Eek! Y-You're scary, Mister Giant Bad-Breath Monster!"
 * "Brother!!! Mario's in trouble! That's what the Crystal Star is here to tell us! I just KNOW it!"
 * "Mario! Flurrie! C'mon! Don't give up!"
 * ''"...B-Brother?
 * "Take these with you!"
 * "These are VERY fresh Mushrooms!"

Pine T. Sr.

 * "Huh? What? Who are you??? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
 * "Wow! Did you come here just to save me?"
 * "Really? Pine T. Jr.? Wow! Good... I have to get back alive. Show me the way out!"
 * "Don't mind me! Just beat 'em!"
 * "OK. Let's go."
 * "Hey! The exit! OK, Pine T. Jr.! I'm on my way home!"
 * "Sorry for troubling you."

Podler

 * "Oh, you're Mr. Gonzales! Yeah, that's the mustache I've been waiting for!"
 * "Actually, you're pretty late... Somebody left a package and a note by the door a bit ago."
 * "The letter said: "Look for a thick-'stached man named Gonzales and give him this.""
 * "The "this" the letter was talking about is...this."
 * "So far's I could tell, that hammer's a new model, the HAMMERWHACK 2005..."
 * "Real nice hammer all around. Solid craftsmanship, good grip, high bonkability."
 * "The commercials for this thing say that the hammer chooses its user..."
 * "They aren't cheap, either, so whoever gave this to you must be a big fan."
 * "But... Why leave it in this juice shop? Doesn't that strike you as a bit odd?"
 * "I mean, it's not like it's that hard to hand a gift a pro fighter..."

Podley

 * "Admiral Bobbery? Yeah... Yeah, I know him. You know that house just past the wall in the eastern part of town? That's his. But I think both you and he would be better off if you just let him be..."
 * "You say Bobbery won't go to sea, huh? Well, can't say that surprises me."
 * "The real question is, are you folks REALLY sure you want Bobbery back on the water?"
 * "Oh, is that it? Now I see... You want to mount an expedition to Keelhaul Key... Rough seas out there."
 * "In that case, get ready... Bobbery's tale of woe goes something like this..."
 * "A virus? A passing cold? No one knew, but it soon turned serious. Bobbery, at sea on a long, lonely voyage, knew nothing of his bride's suffering."
 * "They tormented him always, haunting his sleep. He has never gone out to sea since."
 * "You all know his tale now... So, tell me: do you still want him to return to sea?"
 * "In that case, let the miserable old soul be and make your way without him."
 * "It was her last request. But when I saw Bobbery in misery, trying to forget the pain as he mourned his wife... I just couldn't bring myself to present this letter to him. I've regretted it ever since."
 * "Please... Take this letter, and do the deed I was too cowardly to do: take it to Bobbery."

Poker

 * "Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! You're gonna be coleslaw, kid! And that ain't good!"

Pokey

 * "Go ahead... Touch usssssss... It won't hurrrrrrrrrrrrt....too muchhhhh..."

Princess Peach

 * "Finally! I have a minute without Toadsworth watching over me! He's so paranoid!"
 * "I come all the way here on holiday...only to be stuck with Toadsworth! It's so stifling!"
 * "Once in a while I'd like the chance to look around on my own and see what I want."
 * "But...now that I'm doing it, all I see is that this town has a very...umm...distinct flavor..."
 * "Do you mean...me?!?"
 * "Oh! Well... Umm..."
 * "Well, that's a pretty box! What's inside it?"
 * "Ooooh..."
 * "Um... All right... What's the harm?"
 * "I'll try to open it."
 * "I'm telling you, I don't know."
 * "Mario!"
 * "Oh no!"
 * "Oh, dear... Here we go again..."
 * ''"I can't believe I'm kidnapped again. Mario and Toadsworth must be worried sick. Again."
 * "But...hang on a moment! Where in the world am I, anyway? It's so unfamiliar..."
 * "I wish I could at least let Mario and Toadsworth know that I've been caught..."
 * "What a lovely shower! No soap scum, even! Wow. I wonder if it works..."
 * "Ahhhhhh! Hee hee!"
 * "How refreshing! I feel like a new princess!"
 * "Hmm? What was that? Hey! How odd... The doors opened by themselves."
 * "Weird... It doesn't look like...anyone's around."
 * "How do I keep making these doors open? How odd..."
 * "Huh? What? Who said that? Where are you?"
 * "Grodus... Wait, he's that awful dome-headed thing who interrogated me, right?"
 * "Well, I don't think so. But I doubt I'll change your mind... So, I'm wondering... Why did you lead me in here?"
 * "Wait... Did you just say... You want to observe me? ...To know more about me? Could it be that you..."
 * "No! Impossible! It can't be! You're a computer..."
 * "Oh, I couldn't, really... Because...it's just too weird."
 * "Well, you know, maybe... Is it possible that, well...you're...in love...with me?"
 * "Wait, you don't know what love is?"
 * "Love... How do I explain? Love tells you when you want to be with a person forever. It makes you feel happy just to see that person happy, smiling...having fun."
 * "When you love someone, you will do anything to help when he or she is in trouble."
 * ''"'Comprehend' love? Love's not something you comprehend, TEC. You feel it."
 * "What? You're a computer! Why would you care about love?"
 * ''"What, are you insane? You X–Jerks kidnapped me like common Koopas!"
 * "And now you call me in here and ask me to teach you the meaning of love?"
 * "I should spit on your screen! You'll grant my wishes? Ha! Why should I believe you?"
 * "Are you sure? Well, OK... Here goes..."
 * "Can I contact someone? The sooner, the better..."
 * "You mean this keyboard? All right... Let me give this a shot."
 * "OK, it's ready, TEC. Could you send it?"
 * "Uh... OK then. Good night."
 * "Oh, Mario... Did you even read the mail I sent you? I wonder..."
 * "I wonder so many things... I wonder how everyone is doing at the castle..."
 * "Will I never dance at the Mushroom Ball again?"
 * "What will become of me?"
 * "Hmm... Doesn't seem to open."
 * "Oh! Is this TEC's doing again?"
 * "That mail I sent to Mario... Did it reach him all right?"
 * "Is that so? Well, good..."
 * "So what do you want from me today? Is there more you want to know of love?"
 * "Ex-CUSE me?!? Were you eavesdropping?"
 * "Find out what caused it? There's no reason behind such a feeling, TEC."
 * "Wanting to do something together... It's part of love. I know it."
 * "But then again... You are...well...a computer."
 * "Wait... Wait just a minute! What...am I supposed to do? You say you want to dance? It's just so...bizarre..."
 * "I mean, how in the world can I dance with you? You have no arms. Or feet. Or moves."
 * "Oh my goodness! Is that me? Did you create that? ...Oh, all right, I guess."
 * "I must say, though, it's going to feel weird, dancing with myself..."
 * "TEC? Are you OK?"
 * "I'm finished, TEC. Could you send it?"
 * "You're a weeeeird computer."
 * "Hmm? Oh! Is this the uniform? Am I supposed to wear this ugly thing?"
 * "I don't know about this...It's awfully tight. And it kind of smells a bit..."
 * "Phew! Who knows how, but I got into it. I can barely breathe, though."
 * "There are no clothes in here! Hm… Must be somewhere else."
 * "TEC? Did you call me?"
 * "What shall I do today? Will it be dancing, perhaps? Disguising? Or will I sing a song or something?"
 * "Huh? What's wrong, TEC? You don't seem yourself..."
 * "What do you mean?"
 * "A quiz?"
 * "What's with you all of a sudden, huh?"
 * "TEC... Is this..."
 * "TEC... You... Was it okay for you to tell me such things?"
 * "Uh... OK. I'm done. Could you send it?"
 * "Thank you... You're still a weird computer, TEC."
 * "You inhuman beast! How could you?"
 * "Where am I?"
 * "MARIO!"
 * "Mario... I'm so sorry. Sending you that map... caused all this trouble, didn't it..."
 * "Who knew all this would happen?"
 * "I don't know how to thank you, but know that the entire world is in your debt!"
 * "Yes... Toadsworth found a treasure map! And I'm sure it will lead to REAL treasure this time! I just know it!"
 * "So, Mario! You'd love to look for treasure, isn't that right? The boat's waiting for you!"

Professor Frankly

 * "Whuzzah??? Who's there? Who wants me?"
 * "Ah. Yes. You. Now, you, uh..."
 * "I've seen that face before... Yes, that face..."
 * "Wait for it... Just a moment... Don't tell me, now! Silence! I'll get it right!"
 * "Umm... It's not Goombriel..."
 * "Err... It's not Elizagoom..."
 * "Hrrrmmmm... Errrmmm... A-HAAA! I've got it!!!"
 * "You're Goombella, aren't you? You were in my archaeology class last year, am I right?"
 * "Of course I remember you. Not to toot my horn, but I'm pretty good at remembering."
 * "You, though... You stick out in my mind because you were such an exceptional student."
 * "And that guy behind you is... WHO?!?"
 * "Oh! My apologies. I'm such a bookworm, I haven't a clue about what's 'hip' right now."
 * "In any case, what sort of errand brings you two all the way to a place like this?"
 * "Of course I know about it. The reason I came here was to study that very subject. But why do you tykes want to learn about the legendary treasure? You know that most say it's little more than a fairy tale, don't you?"
 * "Good point! And well made! In that case, I'll cooperate with you however I can."
 * First of all, about the treasure... There are many mysteries surrounding it. Some say it's an infinitely vast treasure hoard, while others say it's a magical item. Some books say it's actually a monster, while still others claim it's an empty chest... So many different theories... Obviously, it's impossible to divine the truth among them."
 * "...But all agree on one point: to find the treasure, one must have the Crystal Stars!"
 * "Indeed, the same. As the saying goes, if you want to find the legendary treasure... You first must collect the seven Crystal Stars."
 * "Correct! And the Thousand-Year Door is supposedly here, deep beneath this town."
 * "Yet the critical piece of the puzzle--the Magical Map--is lost. If only we had that map!"
 * "WHAAAT??? Hummina hubbity hubbida hippity hoobida hammala huffala hoofala... REALLY?"
 * "You... You actually have it? Could I...just take a quick look at it, if you don't mind?"
 * "Astounding! This is it! The real thing! The one and only Magical Map!"
 * "You, son, are my HERO! You're great! Fantastic! WONDERFUL, even!"
 * "With this... We can find the Crystal Stars just by holding this aloft before the legendary door!"
 * ''"Good golly, what are we doing just sitting here, then?!? Goombella! Mario! Off we must go, this instant! Let's take the Magical map to the legendary door!"
 * "I bet you didn't know this rotten old thing came off, did you? Heh heh!"
 * "We can use this pipe to get down under the city streets! Come on! Both of you! Let's get moving!"
 * "Oh, wait, hang on a second... Mario! Something just occurred to me."
 * "I'm fairly certain there are quite a few hoodlums below. So, uh...keep your guard up."
 * "You two do know about your Action Commands, don't you?"
 * "Really? A master, are you? Maybe you ought to practice them once, just to be safe?"
 * "A bold young lad, aren't you! Very well, then! Down we go!"
 * "Just stand on the pipe and tilt Down to enter it."
 * "A Goomba, a Spiny Goomba, and a Paragoomba! My! The whole Goomba family tree!"
 * "The only one I should warn you about is that fellow in the middle: the Spiny Goomba. See that spike on his head? Well, jump on that and you're the one who'll take damage!"
 * "The Paragoomba's airborne, so you're hammer won't reach. You'll have to jump for him."
 * "Always take your opponent's situation into consideration when fighting! Always!"
 * "...Oh! That's right! I forgot to tell you something vital!"
 * "You can press to change the order you two attack in! You can attack first if you feel like it, Goombella. Don't forget that!"
 * ''"Are you ready, Mario? There are plenty more where they came from, and they'll all have it in for us.
 * "When they attack, try to hammer them or jump on them while in the field..."
 * "Attack successfully and you can perform a First Strike when you enter battle."
 * "So if an enemy catches sight of you, be sure to thump them as you go into battle."
 * "Er, Mario... A word with you? I'm not exactly confident we can trust this...box."
 * "I think it may be best not to mention we're looking for the Crystal Stars. ...Well, drat. I just said it out loud! What's wrong with me?"
 * "Oh! Mario! Goombella! Look...at...THAT!"
 * "It's the Thousand-Year Door spoken of in the legends! I can't believe it's real!"
 * "So the legends are all true! There it is, big as life! Come! Let's move closer!"
 * "Hrmmm... It appears that information related to the locations of the Crystal Stars appeared..."
 * "And that shining light... It looked as if a mysterious power was given to Mario..."
 * "Well... One way or another... We should return to my place and study the map closely."
 * "Hrmmm... Aha! I see!"
 * "My dear, of course I do! Firstly, about that light we saw shining on Mario... By my reckoning, Mario can now perform what is known as a special move."
 * "Yes, it... Well... Stuff like this is better explained by example rather than words. Would you like to try it out?"
 * "This is VERY important. You'd better listen. I mean it. Are you ready to listen?"
 * "Hmm... You're absolutely sure? Well, all right, then."
 * "Let's have at look at that Magical Map and see what we can learn about the... WOW! ASTOUNDING! This map has radar-like functions! It now shows the location of a Crystal Star!"
 * "It looks like the first Crystal Star is to be found in a place called the Petal Meadows."
 * "Yes. The area is a vast meadow that lies far to the east of Rogueport. To tell you the truth... I've always thought that place was a tad suspicious. The name Petal Meadows did come up from time to time in my research."
 * "I'm fairly certain that somewhere beneath the city is a pipe to Petal Meadows. If you could just find that, you'd get there instantly. Pipe travel's efficient."
 * "Say, by the way, Mario... I'm curious. Where did you get that map, anyway?"
 * "From Princess Peach? Really? Her Highness sent this to you, Mario?"
 * "So it IS her! Your princess came to see me the other day. She wanted to learn about the treasure..."
 * "I told her about the Crystal Stars and my suspicions about Petal Meadows... It doesn't seem likely, but perhaps she tried to go to Petal Meadows on her own..."
 * "Hrmm... But I can't imagine Princess Peach getting involved with THEM..."
 * "All right! It's settled! Off to Petal Meadows you two go! If Princess Peach indeed went there, your first priority must be to catch up to her. Collecting the Crystal Stars is a means to an end...and that end is Princess Peach!"
 * "No, I'll stay in town and ask around about Princess Peach and that suspicious gang."
 * "Besides, I doubt a shriveled old Goomba like me could handle the trials of the road."
 * "Of course, if anything happens and you need some advice, come see me, OK?"
 * "Wait just a moment!"
 * "Mario, it's scary out there. Take this with you. It's called a badge, and it is incredibly helpful."
 * "You see, depending on the badges you have equipped, you'll get much more powerful."
 * "What's important is knowing what the effects will be when you first equip a badge."
 * "Would you like you like to practice equipping and removing badges?"
 * "Are you absolutely sure? This is the last time I'll ask. Do you want to practice?"
 * "By the way, you need Flower Points (FP) to use the Power Smash move. In battle, you should watch not only your HP, but FP, too. Did you get all that?"
 * "Well, here's hoping you find that pipe to Petal Meadows."
 * "Hrmm... Mmmm HRRRRMMMM... I see. I see. Crystal clear!"
 * ''"It's in the Boggly Woods. The second Crystal Star is inside a great tree there.
 * "About those woods... I think...some odd creatures live there."
 * "If memory serves, there's a pipe beneath town that leads to those woods."
 * "Uh-oh. If Princess Peach's kidnappers are also looking for the Crystal Stars..."
 * "What could they hope to achieve? Could the treasure be... Ugh! Too many unknowns!"
 * "Unfortunately, the only clues we can rely on are the Crystal Stars and that map."
 * "Yes, I recommend you do just that. And find it before the princess's captors do! But don't be hasty! If you're low on items or health, drop by the shop and inn first."
 * "I'll keep researching to learn more about the Crystal Stars and the ancient treasure."
 * "I must research this more. Assuming will just make an... Well, you know the saying."

Puni elder

 * "Punio! Is that you? You're looking well."
 * "Oh, a rescuing, is it? Well, thanks, I suppose. Those are quite exiting."
 * "But...I think you ought to help the other Punies before you rescue me."
 * "FOOLISH CHILD!"
 * "Punio! Sit down this instant and keep your mouth shut!"
 * "Stop your mumbling, you! And mind your elders! You whelp!"
 * "How could you abandon your poor sister and run off like that... Absolutely shameful!"
 * "Oh, stop with the whining! You never interrupt an elder mid-lecture! NEVER! You wonder why the other Punies call you a "doofus" sometimes? That's why. And your time to be a doofus is over, because you have to lead our Puni tribe one day! That day is not far off! ...And THAT is why you need to listen! Now, first of all..."
 * "...or else! you got that? From now on, you've got to get your act together, Punio!"
 * "Bah! Only answer ONCE!"
 * "...But say, by the way, why are you here, anyway?"
 * "Oh, is that so? Well, good! In that case, get me out of here already! Criminy!"
 * "This cell is cold, which isn't good for the old back, and there's this damp stench..."
 * "You stubborn MULE!"
 * "Deplorable! How DARE you talk like that, knowing what we're up against?!? We must stand together now! We must take back our tree! Don't you understand that?"
 * "Shut your trap, Puniper! And mind me, you hear! You'll help Mustachio here..."
 * "What'd you say your name was again? It was, er... It was Marty, wasn't it?"
 * "Yes, Yes, simmer down, you. And everyone else, help Marty-o clear out our tree!"
 * "There you go, my Punies! That's the spirit!"
 * "The Crystal Star, eh? Hrrrrrmmmmmmm... Yes, perhaps..."
 * "Hidden down, down, down at the bottom of this tree is a funny-colored stone. But what do we do with it? Oh, right: 'Guard it from evil and give it to a pure heart... That's what generations of elders have been taught Might be the Crystal Star..."
 * "Marty! Or...Marty-o! I'm thinking you better get it before those goons do."
 * "I don't see quite how just yet, but I bet it's connected to us getting our tree back."
 * "You got all that, Marty-o? Crystal Star. Bottom part of the tree. Go to it."
 * "Oh! Hold your horses! I forgot something!"
 * "Before you can get the Crystal Star, you must save all of the captured Punies. Yup, you'll never get to that gem without the help of the Punies. Not a chance."
 * "So here, you'd better take this. It's the Puni Orb. It's the symbol of our leader."
 * "If you place this in the pedestals you see around the tree, the punies will gather. Just remember to take the orb with you when you're done using it. Because. well, if you don't, everyone'll just kind of hang out and stare at the orb."
 * "Oh, and one more thing... So sorry! So sorry! I've been awfully forgetful as of late. Now then, where was I? Oh right! On your way to the Crystal Star... If you lose any of the Punies and have a hard time finding them, just come see me. What i'll do is, i'll give a wistle to call 'em back here. you got all that?"
 * "Hey! What's the matter?"
 * "Well! I'm shocked! Who makes fun of a old woman like that! Honestly! Why, if I were just ten years younger, I'd show you! Oh, you'd best believe it! I'll have you know that in my younger days, I was considered a Puni prize! I had so many suitors, I had to fight them off! Eeeh hee hee hee hee hee! Now that I think about it there was a particulary fine boy named Punderton..."
 * "...And that's how I became the Puni elder, the leader of the Puni tribe."
 * "Now you know my tale, and I know yours, so good luck to you!"
 * "You won't be going any farther this-a-way!"
 * ''"WHAT?!?
 * "Did you just call me an 'Old geezer'?!? Where do you get off, talking like that? You have no respect, brat! Don't think my age has anything to do with my might! Even if it kills me, I won't let you through! I'm ready! ELDER POWER ACTIVATE!"
 * "Oh! Ooh! What the...OUCH! ...Can't take another step... Oooooooog..."
 * "Ooh! What a time for my stupid back to start acting up!"
 * "Oh, that little Punio!!! He's always, ALWAYS so darned squishy–washy!"
 * "BEGONE!"
 * "You're one of them, aren't you? One of the evildoers! You want our Crystal Star!"
 * "How RUDE!"
 * "'Ugly thing'? How DARE you, you wretched crone? I am the great Puni elder!"
 * "Hmph! 'Hag-thing'? Honestly! In any case, you're too late! The Crystal Star is gone!"
 * "That's right, you rude thing! We gave it to a mustachioed man named Marty-o! He said he was collecting the legendary treasures to rescue some princess... What did he call her? Princess Pinch? Yep! He was off to save that lucky lass!"
 * ''"What in the world... What's THAT doing here? This is very mysterious... Yes, a mystery that...

Punio

 * "Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!!! D-Don't eat me!!!"
 * "Huh? Uh... You didn't come to eat me? And you're not bullies?"
 * "Noooooooo! Leave me alone, you big meanies!"
 * "For real? Phew! Boy, that's good. I thought for a second I might have an accident."
 * "Wh-What?!? Why do you know about me?"
 * "NOOO! Y-You must be... You guys are working for those X-Nauts, aren't you?!? You chased me here! Noooooo! It's the end!!!"
 * "Well...OK. This gang of bad guys who call themselves X-Nauts came to where I live. They came inside our Great Tree and started tearing it apart and causing trouble. So...I've come all the way here looking for help."
 * "Now that you mention it, they did say something about some Crystal Star thingy... But we Punies don't know anything about any crystals or stars..."
 * "Say, could you guys help us out? Maybe chase them off? If you do, we'll give you, uh... What was it? The Crystal Star? If you do, we'll have the Puni elder give you that! I don't know what it is, but if it'll help us reclaim our tree, I'm sure the elder will agree!"
 * "So what do you say? Let's not waste any more time. I'm begging you!"
 * "Really?!? You aren't joking?!? You'll do it?!?"
 * "Oh, thank you so much! This is great! I'm so happy!"
 * "My name is Punio. Pleased to meet you!"
 * "I'll take you to where I live. Follow me, OK?"
 * "It's this way."
 * "Wait, hang on a second."
 * "I'm sure the Puni elder said some button around here opened the secret entrance... AH-HA!"
 * "You can get to the woods we Punies live in by going through that pipe there. OK! Hurry! Hurry!"
 * "Um, OK, just a bit further and we should be able to see the Great Tree. The elder and her friends are waiting for us there. Oh, and my little sister, too! Come on, let's go!"
 * "...Uh... Excuse me!"
 * "Ummm... Maybe she isn't here. I wonder if she went for a walk in the woods."
 * "Madame Flurrie! Hellooooo? If you're here, say something!"
 * "Uh...Madame Flurrie? Are you there? Is that you? ...What are you doing?"
 * "Uh, well, the thing is... We have a problem that only you can help us with, ma'am."
 * "The Great Tree's entry hole is blocked. There's this stupid door we can't seem to open."
 * "My Puni friends are inside, so they're in a pickle, and Mario needs these Crystal Stars..."
 * "It's a train wreck, really. If you can't find the secret entrance for us, we're done."
 * "Don't worry, Madame Flurrie! I'm sure Mario can find your necklace. Word is, he's super!"
 * "You can do it, right, Mario?"
 * "Great! It's decided then! Let's go find it!"
 * "Huh? Did you say "nah"? Uh... What's wrong with you?"
 * ''"Let's go find her necklace!
 * "That's Flurrie's necklace! Yes! Let's take it to her!"
 * "This is wonderful! It's so nice that Flurrie likes you, Mario. Really, it's great!"
 * "And even more importantly, Flurrie's chosen to join us! Let's go to the Great Tree!"
 * "More nagging by the old hag... When will it ever stop?"
 * "D-Don't worry, Petuni! Your big brother is here! We'll…gulp…get through this!"

Puniper

 * "WAIT!"
 * "How do we really know this burly fellow is our ally? He might be one of them!"
 * "Hah! Big, bad Punio... Listen to yourself! Trying to sound all important-like!"
 * "You have no idea the kind of troubles we've been through while you were gone!"
 * "Well they've been captured... by those goons!"
 * "The elder... Everybody... Including... Your sister!"
 * "Oh, it's so, all right She was taken off somewhere with the rest of them!"
 * "They said it was because we wouldn't tell them where to find some crystal thing."
 * ''"We told them we never heard of it."
 * ''"What are you saying, Punio? We can't do anything to those giant goons!
 * "Besides, they aren't alone. The Cursed Jabbi Tribe is in league with them."
 * "They're hoping to make this tree their own once we've all been driven from it."
 * "This is it for us. The end! And adding this hairy old man to our ranks won't help a bit!"
 * "Hah! Punio, Punio, Punio... You'll have to convince me, because I think you're nuts."
 * "Tell you what: You and Mr. Mustache there can get the revolution started!"
 * "If you can free our friends who got locked up somewhere in the tree... then I'll join your little crusade. Hah! Like that'll ever happen! Please!"
 * ''"Well, if it isn't Punio...
 * ''"Hmph! You heard me! Hmph! I can't say I expected you to manage to rescue the elder...
 * "Don't get a swelled head! This doesn't mean I'll accept you as our leader..."
 * "And it definitly doesn't mean I completely trust that mustached guy, either."
 * "For starters, you still haven't rescued the other Punies yet."
 * "I'm not lifting an antenna to help until you do."
 * "But... But, Elder..."
 * "Oh, all right, Elder.. Whatever you say."
 * "I'm not heartless or anything. To tell you the truth, I'm worried about Petuni, too."
 * "And you're right, we have no choice. We must fight! Right, everybody?"
 * "Yuh-Yuh-Yuh-Yuh-Yikes… This…guys…is…big…and bad! He's large and in charge!"

Rawk Hawk

 * "That's right! Unh! I think it's about time for you to FEEL THE RAAAAAWK!"
 * "Stay down, pincushion! You don't want more of this! Why'd you even show up? Yeah, you hear me talking, Wimpy! Stay outta the ring, or feel the burn, baby! Tell you what: do about a million push-ups and then come see Uncle Rawk Hawk! I'll give you another world-class spanking and send you crying home to Momma again!"
 * "You call that a match? Ain't there a fighter out there who can challenge me? No! No one can! Hear me? Ain't a fighter out there that can even make me sweat! They're all a bunch of little crybabies, running around in stinky diapers! You got a bone to pick?!? Come fight me! Bring it! I'll take on anyone! You weaklings might as well stick to video-game fighting, OK? 'Cause I'll hurt you. YEAH! NUMBER ONE, BABY!!! RAWK HAWK IS THE CHAMP! Harharharharharharharharharharhar!"
 * "Studly guy, coming through! Listen up, losers! I've been hearing about some rising star tearing up the league..."
 * "It's you, isn't it! Yeah! You fit the bill, skinnt! A mustache named Gonzales! Man, I came all the way over here for YOU?!? Harharhar! What a waste of time!"
 * "What in the... Hey! You! Get too close to the Hawk and you might get RAWKED!"
 * "Hey, you think you can just smack-talk the Rawk Hawk? I DON'T THINK SO!"
 * "You got some guts, calling my belt a fake, you shrimpy, no-belt- having wimps! Didn't your momma teach you any manners?!?"
 * "Stop making fun of me, punk! You're alive ONLY 'cause we ain't in the ring right now! If I see you under those lights, I'll tear you apart! Remember the RAWWWWWWK!"
 * "Har har har har har!"
 * "Feel the RAAAAAWWWK..."
 * "Rawk out, Great Gonzales!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAWK! Listen to me, Gonzales! Anybody who's beat me is not ALLOWED to lose!!!"
 * "That's all ancient history! There's only one true champ, and that guy is Rawk Hawk!"
 * "One of us is walking out of here with the belt, and the other one's getting RAWKED!"
 * "Hey, shut your trap or this Gonzales won't be the only one feeling the RAAAAWK!"
 * "I'm the champ, end of story! I'm a legend! And this legend is about to RAWK that dude!"
 * "Harharharharharhar! Time for you to meet the new, improved Rawk Hawk!"
 * "Feel the horror of a world–class RAAAAAWWWKING!"
 * "No! I don't believe this! I... Am I actually gonna get Rawked AGAIN?"
 * ''"Remember: When life rocks you, RAWK back!"
 * "Well, tell me something: you ever see a weakling... DO THIS?!? ...Pain."

Red Bones

 * "Blaarf harf harf HARF!"
 * "You clearly don't value your lives much if you've come to this castle to disturb us."
 * "You will go no farther, and from this moment on... You'll be nothing but bones!"

Riverside Station Toad worker

 * "Could you go down to the control room in the station and flip the bridge switch?"
 * (No, sorry.)
 * "Oh… Well, now what are we going to do…"

Screamy

 * "...I'm Screamy. I wonder what future is plotted for us by he who holds the compass..."
 * "For I must deliver something..."

Shadow Queen

 * "Who...has called me back?"
 * "You..."''
 * "Very well... Where is the vessel?"
 * "Yessss... A fine vessel..."
 * "Now..."
 * "Muh huh huh huh... Witness my rebirth..."
 * "My soul has not yet fully accustomed to this vessel..."
 * "But I will learn to control this body soon enough..."
 * "Who are you that would command me?"
 * "What sort of being are you?"
 * "You would do well to learn your proper place, slave. No one commands me."
 * "My powers are not yet fully restored..."
 * "But...they will come in time..."
 * "Ahh, Beldam... What ages have passed?"
 * "So... You are the one truly responsible for calling me back, yessss?"
 * "Yesss... You have fulfilled your duties admirably."
 * "And who are these...beings that stand before me?"
 * "Yesss... They do not appear to possess power..."
 * "...But they may be of use. If you will become my faithful servants, I will not harm you."
 * "Yesss... You are obedient... Good, my pet..." (Become her servant)
 * "Now you are mine..."
 * "You will serve me for eternity."
 * "I see... So you defy me..." (Refuse this witch!)
 * "How...amusing..."
 * "Then, you wretched fools...you will learn the error of your ways!"
 * "You are foolish to oppose me."
 * "Yesss...and that foolishness...will have to be punished..."
 * "Hmm... So, you are not weak. Maybe you are less useless than you appear."
 * "This body is unfamiliar to me..."
 * "Yesss, too unfamiliar... Let me assume my true form and show you real power..."
 * "In this form, your attacks are like those of a child to me..."
 * "You are lucky... You will perish with the honor of having seen true terror and power!"
 * "Muh huh huh huh huh huh!"''
 * "Muh huh huh huh huh huh! Is that your idea of an attack? Foolish..."
 * "Hmmm... What a troublesome little pest you are. Muh huh huh huh huh..."
 * "Muh huh huh huh huh... Now, taste my power!"
 * "Yesss... I have recovered from any slight damage you many have caused earlier..."
 * "And now...I will punish you for your resistance..."''
 * "I will ask you again... Will you serve me? If so, I will forgive you for this..."
 * "Muh huh huh huh huh... Very well..."
 * "Then you will perish."
 * "What... What is this?"
 * "Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What... What are these vile voices?"''
 * "What is this...light?"''
 * "Oh..."
 * "Ohh..."
 * "Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhh......"
 * "Wh-What?!?"
 * "You wretched little girl! You disobey me?!?"
 * "You brat! Obey me, girl!"
 * "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Very cunning, Princess!"
 * "But you will not undo me!!! Know me as your queen!"
 * "Enough! This ends now!"''
 * "Wh-What..."
 * "H-How is it that you can hurt me?"
 * "Fooooooooools!"
 * "Muh huh huh... You do not know what you have done..."''
 * "Uuurghh..."
 * "No... It... It cannot be... How..."
 * "AAAAAIIYEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
 * "Impossible... Unthinkable..."
 * "How could I... I cannot be beaten by lesser beings such as these..."
 * "And I had just been reborn into this world... I cannot... I must not..."
 * "AAAAAIIYEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

Japanese

 * ダレじゃ⋯ わらわを よびおこすものは⋯ (What... What brings me here...)
 * そちか⋯ (...and...)
 * まあ よい⋯ わらわの たましいの れは いずこしゃ？ (Well, okay... Where is the vessel for my soul?)
 * ふむ⋯ なかなかのものじゃな⋯ (Well... It is considerable...)
 * よかろう⋯ (Very well...)
 * ふふふふ⋯ これで わらわは ふっかつしたわけだ (Fufufufu... Now, my life is restored.)
 * まだ たましいと が かんぜんに とは なっておらめが⋯ (Though my soul and body are not yet united as one...)
 * しばらくすれば わが たましいも あたらしいに なじむであろう⋯ (After a while, I will be able to adapt my soul to my new body...)
 * この わらわに めいれいを そうとは⋯ (Who are you to claim a position of authority over me...?)
 * そちは いったい なにものしゃ⋯? (What in the world are you...?)
 * みのほども わきまえず わらわに さしずしようとは なんたる ぶれい (You have no sense of propriety. And you have no sense of what is required of you. What a disgrace!)
 * まだ チカラも かんぜんには もどってあらめか⋯ (My strength has not yet returned to me. I can't seem to get it back...)
 * ふむ⋯ それも しかたあるまい⋯ (Hmm... That's the way it is...)
 * ん マジョリン⋯ ひさしいのう (Ah, Beldam... It's been a long time.)
 * そうか⋯ そちが わらわを よみがえらせてくれたのじゃな (Well, I see... So it was you. You brought me back to life.)
 * うむ⋯ ごくろうじゃったな (Hm... Thank you for your hard work.)
 * ところで そちたちは なにものだ？ (And who are you, by the way?)
 * ふむ⋯ れは なかなかの がまえ (Hmm... You're not so bad looking.)
 * どうだ わらわに つかえめか？ わらわの しもべに なれば わるいようには せめぞ (''Well, how about it? You want to be my servant? If you become my servant... I won't do anything bad to you.)
 * なかなか ききわけの いいヤツじゃの⋯ よかろう⋯ (You are a very good man, a man who knows his place... Good...)
 * これで そちは わらわのものだ (Now you belong to me.)
 * わらわに つかえるがよい (You will serve as a slave to me for the rest of your life.)
 * なるほど⋯ そちも わらわに さからうと いうか⋯ (''I see... So you are disobeying me, as well...)
 * おもしろい⋯ (Interesting...)
 * ならば そもむくい しかと うけるが よいわ (In that case, you will receive your punishment.)
 * わらわに いどむとは なんと おろかな⋯ (How foolish you are to threaten me...)
 * その おろかさ⋯ らの しを もって つぐなうが いい⋯ (Your foolishness... You will pay for it with your own life...)
 * ふむう⋯ そちも なかなか やるではないか サスガに わらわが こんだオトコだ (Hmm... You're not so bad yourself, are you? As is expected of someone whom I have watched so carefully.)
 * おもうように がなかった も じょじょに なじんできた⋯ (My body wasn't moving like I wanted it to. I'm getting used to it...)
 * そろそろ わらわの の チカラを せてくらよいそ⋯ (It's about time. I'll show you my true power...)
 * この すがたで あれば そちの こうげきなぞは に さされたほどにも きかぬ (In this form, your attacks would be as minuscule as an insect's whisper.)
 * この すがたを わらわに とらせたことを こうえいに おもいながら しんでいくが よいぞ (You shall rest in peace, knowing that you have earned the honor of being shown this form by me.)
 * ホーホッホッホッホッホッホッホッホ！(Hoohohohohohohohoho!)
 * ホホホホ⋯ それでも こうげきしているつもりかえ？(Hohohoho... You think you're still hitting me?)
 * ホホホホ⋯ わらわの チカラを おもいしるがよい！(Hohohoho... You will feel my power!)
 * なんとも ふがいないヤツよの オ〜ホホホホッ⋯ (What a poor fellow. Oh-ho-ho-ho...)
 * これで そちから うけた キズも ほうんど もとに もどった⋯ (Now the injury from the other side is back to normal...)
 * さて⋯ あとは いかに そちを こらしめてやるかじゃな⋯ (Well... Now we'll see how badly I can beat you...)
 * いまいちど そちたちに う わらわに つかえるは ないか？いまなら ゆるして つかわそうぞ⋯ (I ask you once again. Are you going to serve me? I'll forgive you this time, and I'll spare you...)
 * ホホホホ⋯ よかろう⋯ (Hohohoho... Very well...)
 * ならば そちたちの のぞみり トドメを さして つかわそう (Then I'll finish you off.)
 * な⋯ なんじゃ！？ (What... what!?)
 * な な な なんじゃ⋯ この わずらわしい こえは⋯ (W-w-w-what the heck... What's that annoying sound...)
 * こ このは⋯？(Th-this light...?)
 * あ⋯ (A...)
 * ああ⋯ (Aa...)
 * ああああああああああああああ⋯⋯ (Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa...)
 * な⋯ なんじゃ！(What... what!)
 * こ えつ！わらわに さけらう つもりか！！(Y-You little brat! You think you can get away with this!!)
 * おのれ！えーーーつ！！(You! You little brat!!)
 * ええい！どこまでも こざかいい め！！(Hey! You're the most annoying little girl I've ever met!!)
 * じゃが なにを しようと ムダじゃ わらわは なのじゃから！！ (But no matter what you do, it's no use, for I am the queen!!)
 * ふんっ！けちらしてくれるわ！！(Darn it! I'm going to kick your butt!!)
 * な⋯ なんじゃと⋯ (Wh... What...)
 * わ⋯ わらわの このに キズが つくとは⋯ (How... how this body of mine is damaged...)
 * おのれ〜〜〜っ！(Curse yooooou!)
 * ふん まだまだ これからじゃぞ (Hmph. This is just the beginning.)
 * くあ⋯ (Kua...)
 * ま⋯ ませか⋯ こんな はずは⋯ (N...no... This can't be...)
 * うああああああああ⋯⋯⋯ (UAAAAAHHH...)
 * そんな⋯ そんな⋯ (Oh, no... No, no...)
 * わらわが⋯ わらわが このような やからに たおされてしまうとは⋯ (I never thought that I... that I would be defeated by such a brute...)
 * ふたたび このに よみがえつたと いうのに⋯ (Even though I have been brought back to this world again...)
 * あああああああああああああああああ⋯ (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH...)

General

 * "Hey, there, fella! Welcome to the Toad Bros. Bazaar!"
 * "What can I do for you?"
 * "If you're shopping, just stand in front of what you want and press, OK?" (Buying)
 * "Come again, OK?" (Leaving)

Buying

 * "I'm gonna need [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Want to buy it, fella?"
 * "Oooh... Gee, sorry, fella, but you don't have enough coins." (Not enough coins)
 * "Listen, fella, it looks to me like you can't carry any more items. Yeah, sorry about that." (Full inventory)
 * "I'll sell you something after you use, sell, or store some of your stuff, OK?"
 * "Hey, thanks very much, fella!" (Item bought)
 * "Oh, and I'll add [#] shop points to your total!"

Selling

 * "Huh? Listen, fella, you need to actually HAVE something for me to want to buy it." (No items)
 * "What do you want to sell?"
 * "I'll pay you [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. How about it?"
 * "I see... Is there anything else you want to sell, fella?" (Refusing to sell)
 * "Thanks, fella!" (Item sold, 1 item)
 * "Hey, thanks very much, fella!" (Item sold, more items)
 * "Is there anything else you want to sell?"

Storing

 * "Huh? Maybe I misheard you, but I'm pretty sure you don't have anything to store." (No items)
 * "Ooh, I'm sorry, fella, but I can't store anything else." (Full storage)
 * "I can store [#] more item(s) for you, fella. Want to store something?"
 * "OK, no problem. I'll store it for you at no charge, fella." (Item stored)
 * "Then I'll store it for you, sound good?" (Item stored, more items)
 * "Is there anything else you want to store, fella?"

Withdrawing

 * "Huh? I don't have any of your items in storage, fella." (No items in storage)
 * "It looks like you can't carry anything else, fella." (Full inventory)
 * "Come back after you use, sell, or store something, OK?"
 * "What would you like to retrieve, fella?"
 * "OK. Here you go!" (Item claimed)
 * "Use it wisely, fella."
 * "You want to retrieve anything else, fella?" (Item claimed, more items)

Point Explanation

 * "Hey there, fella! Welcome! Is this your first time in our shop? I think it is!"
 * "I always like to explain our shop-point system to new customers, so bear with me."
 * "Customers receive one shop point for each purchase they make. You with me so far?"
 * "Save up enough shop points and you can get prizes, including some rare items."
 * "You'll find a list of prizes posted in any shop, so be sure to check it out."
 * "It's a pretty simple promotion, wouldn't you say, fella? Need me to explain it again?"
 * "OK, in that case..." (Yes)
 * "Well, take your time, and enjoy your shopping, fella!" (No)

Points

 * "You currently have...[#] point(s), fella!"
 * "You've saved up enough shop points, fella!" (Enough points)
 * "Guess what you've earned! This [Item]!"
 * "Ooh, it looks like you can't carry anything else, fella."
 * "Come back after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?'
 * "Well, you've earned a gift with your shop points, but you can't carry it right now." (Shop prize, full inventory)
 * "Anything else I can do for you, fella?"
 * "You saved up 300 shop points! That's the most ever! The maximum! Congrats!" (300 shop points)
 * "So, I guess from here..."
 * "Wow! You won't believe this! This is incredible, fella!"
 * "You get to start collecting points ALL OVER AGAIN!"
 * "Oh, and you get the amazing 300-point present, fella! A Gold Bar x 3!"

General

 * "Hi there, cutie! Welcome to Westside Goods!"
 * "What can I do for you?"
 * "If you're shopping, just stand in front of what you want and press, OK, sweetie pie?" (Buying)
 * "Come on back, sweetie!" (Leaving)

Buying

 * "It's going to be [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Care to buy it, cutie?"
 * "Oooh... Aw, sorry, sugar, but you don't have enough coins." (Not enough coins)
 * "Hey, sweetie, it looks to me like you can't carry any more items. Bummer!" (Full inventory)
 * "I'll sell you something after you use, sell, or store some of your things, OK?"
 * "Aw, THANKS, sugar!" (Item bought)
 * "Oh, and I'll add [#] shop points to your total!"

Selling

 * "Hm? Ummmm, cutie, I can only buy stuff from you if you actually have stuff." (No items)
 * "What do you want to sell?"
 * "I'll pay you [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. Sound good?"
 * "Oh, OK... Anything else you want to sell, sweetie pie?" (Refusing to sell)
 * "Aw, THANKS, sugar!" (Item sold, 1 item)
 * "Aw, thanks SO much, cutie!" (Item sold, more items)
 * "Anything else you want to sell, maybe?"

Storing

 * "Hm? But, honey, you don't have a THING to store!" (No items)
 * "Aw, sorry, honey, but I can't store anything else!" (Full storage)
 * "I can store [#] more item(s) for you, hon. Want to store something?"
 * "My pleasure, sweetie. I'll store it for you." (Item stored)
 * "Then I'll store it for you, OK?" (Item stored, more items)
 * "Anything else you want to store, cutie-pie?"

Withdrawing

 * "Hm? I don't have any of your items in my storage, you silly billy!" (No items in storage)
 * "Aw, you can't carry anything else, cuteness!" (Full inventory)
 * "Come back after you use, sell, or store something, OK?"
 * "What would you like to retrieve, sugar?"
 * "OK! Here you are!" (Item claimed)
 * "Good luck with it, cutie!"
 * "You want to retrieve anything else, cute stuff?" (Item claimed, more items)

Point Explanation

 * "Hey there, cutie-pie! Is this your first time in my shop? Uh-huh, I knew it!"
 * "I always like to explain our shop-point system to new customers, so listen, OK?"
 * "Customers get one shop point for each purchase they make, right?"
 * "Save up enough shop points and you can get prizes, including some rare items."
 * "You'll find a list of prizes posted in any shop, so be sure to check it out, OK?"
 * "It's a pretty simple promotion, don't you think, cutie? Need me to explain it again?"
 * "OK, in that case..." (Yes)
 * "Well, take your time, and enjoy your shopping, cutie!" (No)

Points

 * "Right now, you have...[#] point(s), sweetie pie!"
 * "You've saved up enough shop points, sugar!" (Enough points)
 * "Know what you've earned? This [Item]!"
 * "Aw, it looks like you can't carry anything else, you poor baby."
 * "Come back after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?'
 * "You've saved up enough shop points, sweetness!"
 * "Aw, you've earned a gift with your shop points, but you can't carry it right now." (Shop prize, full inventory)
 * "Anything else I can do for you, sugar bean?"
 * "You saved up 300 shop points! That's the most ever! The maximum! Wow!" (300 shop points)
 * "So, I guess from here..."
 * "Wow! You won't believe this! This is awesome, cutie-pie!"
 * "You get to start collecting points ALL OVER AGAIN!"
 * "Oh, and you get the amazing 300-point present, sugar! A Gold Bar x 3!"

General

 * "Come in, come in! Welcome! Welcome to Niff T.'s shop!"
 * "What can I do for you today?"
 * "If you're here to shop, just stand in front of an item and press ." (Buying)
 * "Come again, OK?" (Leaving)

Buying

 * "It's [#] coin(s) for [an Item]. Would you like one?"
 * "Oops! Oh, gee, I'm sorry. You don't have enough coins." (Not enough coins)
 * "Oh, gee, it looks like you can't carry any more items." (Full inventory)
 * "Try again after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?"
 * "Thank you so much!" (Item bought)
 * "You earned [#] shop point(s)!"

Selling

 * "Oops! Don't you feel silly? You don't have any items!" (No items)
 * "What would you like to sell?"
 * "I'll pay...[#] coin(s) for your [Item]. Do we have a deal?"
 * "Oh. OK. Well, is there anything else you'd like to sell?" (Refusing to sell)
 * "Thank you so very much!" (Item sold, 1 item)
 * "Thank you so very much!" (Item sold, more items)
 * "Is there another item you'd like to sell?"

Storing

 * "Oops! Don't you feel silly? You don't have any items!" (No items)
 * "I guess I can't store any for you."
 * "I'm terribly sorry, but you can't store any more items." (Full storage)
 * "You can store [#] more item(s), if you like. What do you say?"
 * "Then allow me to store that for you!" (Item stored)
 * "Then allow me to store that for you!" (Item stored, more items)
 * "Shall I store anything else?"

Withdrawing

 * "Oops! Don't you feel silly? We don't seem to have any of your items in storage." (No items in storage)
 * "Oops! It looks to me like you can't carry any more items." (Full inventory)
 * "Try again after you sell, use, or store an item, OK?"
 * "What would you like to withdraw?"
 * "Then I'll just give this back to you." (Item claimed)
 * "Use it well!"
 * "Is there anything else you'd like to withdraw?" (Item claimed, more items)

Point Explanation

 * "Oh, hello! Is this your first time visiting one of our wonderful shops?"
 * "Then let me give you the explanation of shop points I give all first-time customers."
 * "Customers earn one shop point for each item they buy."
 * "As you build up your points, you'll earn various prizes, including rare items."
 * "The prizes are explained inside each individual store."
 * "And that's it!"
 * "Need to hear it again?"
 * "Oh, OK. No problem. Now, then..." (Yes)
 * "Excellent! You're now free to shop, sell, or store items as you please." (No)

Points

 * "Right now, you have exactly...[#] point(s)!"
 * "Wow! Congratulations!" (Enough points)
 * "You've saved up enough shop points to earn yourself a free [Item]!"
 * "Oops! It looks like you can't carry any more items."
 * "You can pick your prize up after you use, sell, or store an item. How's that sound?
 * "You've earned enough shop points, Mario, but it looks like your pockets are full." (Shop prize, full inventory)
 * "Is there anything else I can do for you right now?"
 * "Wow, wow, and WOW! You've earned the maximum number of shop points: 300!" (300 shop points)
 * "I guess what this means is..."
 * "Oh, my! Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness gracious!"
 * "This means you get to start collecting shop points all over again, starting at zero!"
 * "And as if that's not enough of a reward...this is your 300-point prize!"
 * "A Gold Bar x 3!"

General

 * "Howdy-do-dah-day, bud! Welcome to Pungent's shop!"
 * "What can I do you for?"
 * "Well, sure! If you wanna shop, just stand in front of an item and press ." (Buying)
 * "Come on back anytime, bud!" (Leaving)

Double Points

 * "Howdy-do-dah-day, bud! Welcome to Pungent's shop! It's time to buy, buy, buy!"
 * "For a limited time only, you can earn DOUBLE shop points! You heard me right!"
 * "So, what can I do for you?"

Buying

 * "It'll be [#] coin(s) for [Item]. Interested?"
 * "Ooh... Eee... Golly, how to put this... Look, sorry, but you ain't got enough coins." (Not enough coins)
 * "Ooh... Yikes... Look, I'm real sorry, but you already got too many items." (Full inventory)
 * "Feel free to buy whatever you want after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?"
 * "Well, yippee-do-dah-day! Thanks a million, bud!" (Item bought)
 * "You now got yourself a total of [#] shop points."

Selling

 * "Ooh... Gee... This is awkward. Hate to have to tell you this, but you ain't got no items..." (No items)
 * "Sure thing. What exactly do you wanna sell, bud?"
 * "How's this? I'll pay [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. We got a deal?"
 * "Oh, all righty, then. You got anythin' else you're thinkin' of sellin'?" (Refusing to sell)
 * "Well, thanks a ton, bud!" (Item sold, 1 item)
 * "Hey, thanks a million, bud!" (Item sold, more items)
 * "You got anythin' else you're thinkin' of sellin'?"

Storing

 * "Ooh... Look... Not to drizzle on your parade, but you ain't got no items, bud." (No items)
 * "I can't store imaginary stuff. Oh, actually, sure I can! ...There! I stored it all!"
 * "Ooh... Look, I'm sorry, but you can't store any more items. Awful sorry, bud." (Full storage)
 * "Lessee... You can store up to [#] more item(s), bud. Wanna store anythin'?"
 * "Consider it stored, bud!" (Item stored)
 * "Consider it stored, bud!" (Item stored, more items)
 * "Wanna store anythin' else?"

Withdrawing

 * "Ooh... Golly... Listen... Hate to break it to you, but you got nothing stored, bud." (No items in storage)
 * "Ooh... Shucks... Looks to me like you can't carry any more items, bud." (Full inventory)
 * "Tell you what, though: you can get something after you use, sell, or store an item."
 * "So, what is it you wanna withdraw, bud?"
 * "All righty, here you go." (Item claimed)
 * "Use it wisely, bud."
 * "I'll just go on and give this back to you, then." (Item claimed, more items)
 * "Wanna withdraw anythin' else, bud?"

Point Explanation

 * "How do, bud? I'm bettin' this is your first time visitin' a shop, am I right or am I right?"
 * "Riiiight. Then lemme give you my official Shop Point Breakdown for First-Timers."
 * "You earn one shop point for each item you buy. Easy so far, am I right?"
 * "Now, as you build up points, you get rewarded with cool prizes, includin' rare items."
 * "Different stores have different prizes, so keep your eyes peeled, OK?"
 * "And that, bud, is all I got to say about that."
 * "Wanna hear all that again?"
 * "All righty, but clean out them ears this time, OK? A-HEM! Here we go..." (Yes)
 * "Well, all righty, then. Go on and shop, sell, or store stuff, bud!" (No)

Points

 * "Looks like you got yourself... [#] shop point(s)!"
 * "Hey, you earned enough shop points! Kudos, bud!" (Enough points)
 * "Here's your prize: a fine [Item]!"
 * "Ooh... Shoot... Looks like you can't carry any more items, bud. You're full up!"
 * "Why don't you come on back and grab that after you use, sell, or store an item.
 * "Well done savin' up those shop points!"
 * "Ooh... You earned a prize with your shop points, bud, but your pockets are burstin'." (Shop prize, full inventory)
 * "I'll just hang on to it, then. Anythin' else I can do for you in the meanwhile?"
 * "Yowzers! You earned the maximum number of shop points: 300 of 'em!" (300 shop points)
 * "Lemme just remember what that means..."
 * "Oh, yeah! Great jumpin' jackrabbits! It means..."
 * "You get to start collectin' shop points all over again, startin' at zero! Yippee!"
 * "Ain't that grand! And that ain't all! Here's your fine 300-point prize, bud!"
 * "A Gold Bar x 3!"

General

 * "Hey, hey, hey there! Welcome to my souvenir shop! We sell all kinds of stuff!"
 * "So, what can I do for you?"
 * "If you want to buy something, just press in front of the item you want." (Buying)
 * "Thanks plenty!" (Leaving)

Buying

 * "That'll be [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Are you looking to buy?"
 * "Oooh... You need more coins!" (Not enough coins)
 * "Your inventory is full!" (Full inventory)
 * "Why don't you sell, store, or use something?"
 * "Thanks plenty!" (Item bought)
 * "You now have...let's see... [#] shop points!"

Selling

 * "Hey, hey, hey, hey now! You don't have anything to sell, now, do you?" (No items)
 * "Which do you want to sell?"
 * "I'll buy that [Item] for [#] coin(s). We got a deal?"
 * "Oh, is that a fact? OK. You maybe want to sell something else?" (Refusing to sell)
 * "Thanks plenty!" (Item sold)
 * "You maybe want to sell something else?"

Storing

 * "Hey, hey, hey, hey now! You don't have anything to store, now, do you?" (No items)
 * "Oh, I'm awful sorry, but... I can't store any more." (Full storage)
 * "I can store up to [#] more item(s). What should I store?"
 * "Then I'll just grab that..." (Item stored)
 * "Then I'll just grab that..." (Item stored, more items)
 * "Anything else you'd like me to stash for you right now?"

Withdrawing

 * "Hey, hey, hey, hey now! I don't have anything stored for you!" (No items in storage)
 * "Your inventory is full!" (Full inventory)
 * "Why don't you sell, store, or use something?"
 * "What would you like to withdraw?"
 * "Then I'll just hand that over." (Item claimed)
 * "Then I'll just hand that over." (Item claimed, more items)
 * "Anything else you're looking to withdraw?"

Point Explanation

 * "Hey, hey, hey there! Wait... Is this your first time in a store?"
 * "Yeah, you had that first-time customer look... Lemme tell you about shop points."
 * "You collect 1 shop point each time you buy something."
 * "Collect enough points and I'll give you a bonus gift, OK? Some are reeeeally rare!"
 * "I put all the bonus-gift details up on the wall over there, so take a look."
 * "Well, that's my spiel on shop points. Do you want to hear all that again?"
 * "Well, OK... The customer's always right, I guess... But pay attention this time." (Yes)
 * "Browse all you want!" (No)

Points

 * "Let's see here... You currently have [#] shop point(s)!"
 * "Hey, look at all those shop points you got!" (Enough points)
 * "How about I set you up with this [Item]!"
 * "Your inventory is full!"
 * "Why don't you sell, store, or use something?
 * "You got enough shop points to qualify for a nice gift, but you have too many items." (Shop prize, full inventory)
 * "Sorry about that. Anyway, is there anything else I can do for you?"
 * "Wowsers! You've amassed the maximum number of shop points: 300! Nice!" (300 shop points)
 * "Where could you possibly go from here?"
 * "I'll tell you: you get to start over from nothing again! Isn't that great?"
 * "And you get this amazing 300-point bonus gift! A Gold Bar x 3!"

General

 * "Greetings! Welcome to the Twilight Shop!"
 * "Whatcha need?"
 * "If you want to buy something, just press in front of the item you want, got it?" (Buying)
 * "Thanks for that!" (Leaving)

Double Points

 * "Greetings, folks! Welcome to the Twilight Shop! Buy something!"
 * "We're having a double-point special, so buy up! What can I get you?"

Buying

 * "That'll be [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. You looking to buy?"
 * "Yikes! You need more coins." (Not enough coins)
 * "Your inventory is full." (Full inventory)
 * "Why don't you sell, store, or drop something?"
 * "Thanks for that!" (Item bought)
 * "You now have...let's see... [#] shop point(s)."

Selling

 * "Huh? You don't have anything to sell, now, do you?" (No items)
 * "Which do you want to sell?"
 * "Hmmmm, that [Item]... I'll buy it for [#] coins(s)! We got a deal?"
 * "Oh, is that a fact? OK. You want to sell something else, maybe?" (Refusing to sell)
 * "Thanks for that!" (Item sold)
 * "You want to sell something else, maybe?"

Storing

 * "Huh? You don't have anything to store, now, do you?" (No items)
 * "Oh, I'm awfully sorry, but... I can't store any more." (Full storage)
 * "I can store up to [#] item(s). What should I store?"
 * "Then I'll just grab that..." (Item stored)
 * "Then I'll just grab that..." (Item stored, more items)
 * "Anything else you'd like me to stash for you right now?"

Withdrawing

 * "Hey! I don't have anything stored for you!" (No items in storage)
 * "Your inventory is full!" (Full inventory)
 * "Why don't you sell, store, or drop something?"
 * "What would you like to withdraw?"
 * "Then I'll just hand that over." (Item claimed)
 * "Anything else you're looking to withdraw?" (Item claimed, more items)

Point Explanation

 * "Greetings, and welcome! Wait... Is this your first time in a shop? EVER?"
 * "Yeah, you had that first-time customer look... Let me tell you about shop points."
 * "You collect 1 shop point each time you buy something."
 * "Collect enough points and I'll give you a bonus gift, OK? Some are really rare!"
 * "I put all the bonus-gift details up on the wall over there, so take a look."
 * "Well, that's my spiel on shop points. Do you want to hear all that again?"
 * "Well, OK... The customer's always right, I guess... But pay attention this time." (Yes)
 * "Browse all you want!" (No)

Points

 * "Let's see here... You currently have[#] shop point(s)!"
 * "Hey, look at all those shop points you got!" (Enough points)
 * "How about I set you up with this [Item]!"
 * "Your inventory is full!"
 * "Why don't you sell, store, or drop something?"
 * "You have enough shop points to qualify for a nice gift, but you have too many items." (Shop prize, full inventory)
 * "Sorry about that. Anyway, is there anything else I can do for you?"
 * "Wow! You've amassed the maximum number of shop points: 300! Nice!" (300 shop points)
 * "Where could you possibly go from here?"
 * "I'll tell you: you get to start over from nothing again! Isn't that great?"
 * "And you get this amazing 300-point bonus gift! A Gold Bar x 3!"

General

 * "Ahoy there, and welcome! Honored to have you enter the Keelhaul Galleria!"
 * "What can I do for you?"
 * "If you want to buy something, just stand in front of the item and press ." (Buying)
 * "Come back anytime, Captain!" (Leaving)

Buying

 * "That's gonna be [#] coin(s) for this [Item]. Would you like to buy it?"
 * "Yes? Oh, I'm sorry, but you don't have enough coins." (Not enough coins)
 * "You're carrying too many items, looks like." (Full inventory)
 * "Please sell, use, or store something, would you?"
 * "Thank you!" (Item bought)
 * "Captain 'Stache, you now have [#] shop point(s)."

Selling

 * "Huh? You're not holding anything, looks like." (No items)
 * "What would you like to sell?"
 * "I'll buy that [Item] for [#] coins(s). Would you like to sell it?"
 * "Well, all righty, then... Would you like to sell something else, perhaps?" (Refusing to sell)
 * "Thank you!" (Item sold)
 * "Would you like to sell something else, perhaps?"

Storing

 * "Oh... Sorry, but you don't have any items, looks like." (No items)
 * "You have to have items for me to store them, Captain."
 * "Oh... Look, I'm sorry, but you can't store any more items. Awful sorry, Captain." (Full storage)
 * "Let's see... You can store up to [#] more item(s). What to store anything?"
 * "Consider it stored, Captain!" (Item stored)
 * "Want to store anything else?"

Withdrawing

 * "Oh... I hate to break it to you, but you don't have anything stored, Captain." (No items in storage)
 * "Oh... Looks like you can't carry any more items." (Full inventory)
 * "It's OK, Captain: you can get something after you use, sell, or store an item."
 * "So, what is it you want to withdraw, Captain?"
 * "All righty, here you go." (Item claimed)
 * "Use it wisely, Captain."
 * "I'll just give this back to you, then, OK?" (Item claimed, more items)
 * "Want to withdraw anything else, Captain?"

Point Explanation

 * "Ahoy, Captain 'Stache! Is this your first time visiting a shop?"
 * "Let me explain the shop-point system for you, OK?"
 * "You earn one shop point for each item you buy."
 * "Now, as you build up points, you get rewarded with great prizes, including rare items."
 * "Different stores have different prizes, so stay on the lookout, OK?"
 * "And that's it!"
 * "Would you like to hear all that again?"
 * "All right, but listen more closely this time, OK? OK! Here we go..." (Yes)
 * "Well, all righty, then. Go ahead and shop, sell, or store stuff!" (No)

Points

 * "Looks like you've got... [#] shop point(s)!"
 * "Hey, you earned enough shop points! Kudos, Captain!" (Enough points)
 * "Here's your prize: a fine [Item]!"
 * "Oh... Rats... Looks like you can't carry any more items, Captain. You're overloaded!"
 * "Why don't you come back and snag that after you use, sell, or store an item."
 * "Way to go, saving up those shop points!"
 * "Oh... You earned a prize with your shop points, Captain, but your pockets are bursting." (Shop prize, full inventory)
 * "I'll just hang on to it, then. Anything else I can do for you in the meanwhile?"
 * "You've collected the maximum number of shop points: 300! Unbelievable!" (300 shop points)
 * "When THAT happens..."
 * "You just start collecting again from the beginning! Wheeeeeeeee!"
 * "And here's your incredible 300-point prize for the ages! It's a Gold Bar x 3!"

General

 * "How goes it, traveler? Welcome to the Sales Stall! We have lots of souvenirs!"
 * "What can I do for you?"
 * "If you wanna buy something, just press in front of the item you want." (Buying)
 * "Come back anytime!" (Leaving)

Double Points

 * "How goes it, traveler? Welcome to the Sales Stall! We have lots of souvenirs!"
 * "And right now we have a double-point special going on! What can I do for you?"

Buying

 * "That's gonna be [#] coin(s) for this [Item]. Want it?"
 * "Well, you may want it...but you don't have enough coins, unfortunately." (Not enough coins)
 * "You're carrying too many items, unfortunately." (Full inventory)
 * "You gotta sell, use, or store something."
 * "Thanks a million!" (Item bought)
 * "Hey, so you now have exactly [#] shop points."

Selling

 * "Huh? I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but you're not holding anything." (No items)
 * "What do you wanna sell?"
 * "I'll buy that [Item] for [#] Coins(s). You wanna sell it?"
 * "OK, then... Maybe you wanna sell something else?" (Refusing to sell)
 * "Thanks a million!" (Item sold)
 * "You wanna sell something else, maybe?"

Storing

 * "Huh? I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but you don't have anything." (No items)
 * "Ooh... Look, I'm sorry, but you can't store any more items. Awful sorry about that." (Full storage)
 * "Let me see... You can store up to [#] more item(s). Wanna store anything?"
 * "Bing! Stored!" (Item stored)
 * "Wanna store anything else?"

Withdrawing

 * "Huh? I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but you don't have anything stored." (No items in storage)
 * "You have too many items, unfortunately." (Full inventory)
 * "You can get something after you use, sell, or store an item, all right?"
 * "So, what do you wanna withdraw?"
 * "No problem, here you go." (Item claimed)
 * "Hope it helps!"
 * "OK, no problem at all... I'll give this back to you." (Item claimed, more items)
 * "Wanna withdraw anything else?"

Point Explanation

 * "How goes it, traveler? Hang on... Is this your first time in a shop?"
 * "Yup, I thought so... Lemme tell you about shop points really quick."
 * "You collect 1 shop point each time you buy something."
 * "Collect enough points and I'll give you a bonus gift! Some are really rare, too!"
 * "I put all the bonus-gift details up on the wall over there, so take a look."
 * "Well, that's my speech on shop points. Do you want to hear all that again?"
 * "Well, OK... The customer's always right, I suppose... But pay attention this time." (Yes)
 * "Take your time browsing!" (No)

Points

 * "So, it seems like you have... [#] shop point(s)!"
 * "You earned enough shop points! Well done!" (Enough points)
 * "Here's your prize: a nice [Item]!"
 * "Ooh, you're overloaded!"
 * "Please, just come on back and get it after you use, sell, or store an item."
 * "Nicely done, saving up those shop points!"
 * "Uh-oh... You earned a prize with your shop points, but you have too many items." (Shop prize, full inventory)
 * "I'll just hold on to it, OK? Can I help you with anything else in the meantime?"
 * "Whoa! You've built up the maximum number of shop points: 300! Nice!" (300 shop points)
 * "Are you wondering where you could go from here?"
 * "I'll tell you: you get to start over from nothing again! Isn't that cool?"
 * "And you get this unbelievable 300-point bonus gift! A Gold Bar x 3!"

General

 * "Da, da, welcome, welcome...to the Northwinds Mart. We have many goods! "
 * "What can be done for you?"
 * "If you want to buy something, just press in front of the item you want." (Buying)
 * "Come back, da?" (Leaving)

Buying

 * "That is [#] coin(s) for this [Item]. You like? You like to buy it, da?"
 * "Da? Oh, I am sorry, but you do not have enough coins." (Not enough coins)
 * "You carry too many items." (Full inventory)
 * "Sell, use, or store something."
 * "I give thanks to you." (Item bought)
 * "You have [#] shop points."

Selling

 * "Huh? You hold nothing." (No items)
 * "What do you sell?"
 * "I will buy that [Item] for [#] of your coins(s). You like to sell it, da?"
 * "Da, I understand... You like to sell something else?" (Refusing to sell)
 * "I give you thanks." (Item sold)
 * "You like to sell something else?"

Storing

 * "Huh? You have nothing." (No items)
 * "Huh? You cannot store any more items." (Full storage)
 * "You can store up to [#] more item(s). You like to store anything?"
 * "I store this." (Item stored)
 * "You like to store anything else?"

Withdrawing

 * "Huh? You have nothing stored." (No items in storage)
 * "You have too many items." (Full inventory)
 * "You get something after you use, sell, or store an item."
 * "What do you like to withdraw?"
 * "Da, here it is for you." (Item claimed)
 * "Enjoy it."
 * "Da, I give this back to you." (Item claimed, more items)
 * "You withdraw anything else?"

Point Explanation

 * "Da, da, welcome, welcome. Huh... Is this first time in shop for you?"
 * "Da, you look lost to me. I tell you about shop points."
 * "You collect 1 shop point each time you buy something."
 * "Collect enough points and I give you bonus gift, da? Some are rare."
 * "I put bonus-gift details up on wall over there, so look at it."
 * "That is what I say about shop points. You want to hear it all again?"
 * "Da, da... Customer is always right. But pay attention." (Yes)
 * "Enjoy shopping." (No)

Points

 * "You have...[#] shop point(s)."
 * "You earned enough shop points. I congratulate you." (Enough points)
 * "Here is prize for you: a fine [Item]!"
 * "You are full."
 * "You come back after you use, sell, or store an item."
 * "You save up many shop points, da."
 * "You earned prize with your shop points, but you have too many items." (Shop prize, full inventory)
 * "I hold on to it for now. Can I help otherwise?"
 * "You have collected maximum number of shop points: 300. I congratulate you." (300 shop points)
 * "What happens now, I wonder?"
 * "I will tell you: you start over from nothing again. This is fun, da?"
 * "You also get this 300-point bonus gift! A Gold Bar x 3!"

General

 * "Uh, hi there. Welcome to the Deepdown Depot!"
 * "What can I do for you?"
 * "If you're shopping, just stand in front of what you want and press ." (Buying)
 * "Come again!" (Leaving)

Buying

 * "I'm going to need [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Want to buy it?"
 * "Hmm... Uh, sorry, but you don't have enough coins." (Not enough coins)
 * "Listen, uh, it looks to me like you can't carry any more items. Sorry." (Full inventory)
 * "I'll sell you something after you use, sell, or store some of your stuff."
 * "Hey, uh, thanks very much!" (Item bought)
 * "Oh, and I'll add [#] shop points to your total!"

Selling

 * "Huh? Uh, listen, you need to have something for me to want to buy it off you." (No items)
 * "What do you want to sell?"
 * "I'll pay you [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. Does that work?"
 * "OK... Uh, is there anything else you want to sell?" (Refusing to sell)
 * "Uh, thanks!" (Item sold)
 * "Hey, uh, thank you!" (Item sold, more items)
 * "Is there anything else you want to sell?"

Storing

 * "Huh? I don't think you have anything to store." (No items)
 * "Hmm... Uh, I'm sorry, but I can't store anything else." (Full storage)
 * "I can store [#] more item(s) for you. Uh, want to store something?"
 * "OK. I'll store it for you." (Item stored)
 * "Then I'll store it for you." (Item stored, more items)
 * "Is there anything else you want to store?"

Withdrawing

 * "Huh? I, uh, don't have any of your items in storage." (No items in storage)
 * "It looks like you can't carry anything else." (Full inventory)
 * "Come back after you use, sell, or store something."
 * "What would you like to retrieve?"
 * "OK. Here you are." (Item claimed)
 * "Uh, use it well."
 * "OK. Here you are." (Item claimed, more items)
 * "You, uh, want to retrieve anything else?"

Point Explanation

 * "Uh, hi there. Welcome! Is this your first time in a shop? Yeah?"
 * "Let me just explain our shop-point system like I do with all new customers."
 * "Customers receive one shop point for each purchase they make, understand?"
 * "Save up enough shop points and you can get prizes, including some rare items."
 * "You'll find a list of prizes posted in any shop, so be sure to take a look."
 * "It's a pretty simple promotion, but a cool one too, y'know? Need me to explain it again?"
 * "OK, uh, in that case..." (Yes)
 * "Well, uh, take your time, and enjoy your shopping." (No)

Points

 * "Uh, you currently have...[#] point(s)."
 * "You've saved up enough shop points!" (Enough points)
 * "Know what you've earned? This [Item]!"
 * "Hmm... It looks like you can't carry anything else."
 * "Come back after you use, sell, or store an item."
 * "You've, uh, earned a gift with your shop points, but you can't carry it right now." (Shop prize, full inventory)
 * "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
 * "You saved up 300 shop points! That's the most ever! The maximum! Nice!" (300 shop points)
 * "Well, I guess from here..."
 * "Wow! This is exciting! You'll love this!"
 * "You, uh, start collecting points all over again."
 * "Oh, and you get the amazing 300-point present! A Gold Bar x 3!"

Sir Grodus

 * "Well, well, my pet... Isn't about time you told us where the map is?"
 * "Princess Peach. You will speak when spoken to."
 * "There's no point in trying to hide it, silly girl. We know you had it. We KNOW this."
 * "Trust me, it's very much in your interest to be absolutely honest with us. We X-Nauts are not all rainbows and lollipops, I assure you. We're quite nasty."
 * "Report at once."
 * "What? WHAT did you say? Someone else is after the Crystal Stars?"
 * "And he defeated that Hooktail creature, you say? SPEAK, soldier!"
 * "Excuse me? Mario?"
 * "Gaack ack ack ack ack! I see... So you know of this Mario, do you? Hmmm..."
 * "This fool matters not all. I'll know all about him before long, that I promise."
 * "I grow bored of talking. Take Princess Peach back to the holding room."
 * "And men! Take good care of Princess Peach. Understand? She is not to be harmed."
 * "Well, Lord Crump... If this Mario character has the map...then it's highly likely he'll find the Crystal Star we're hunting in the Boggly Woods."
 * "You must return there immediately and hasten the excavation. It must not fail."
 * "I wonder if sending Lord Crump there alone is wise... He is a bit...out there. Hmmm..."
 * "X-Naut! I summon you!"
 * "Shut up. Go get the Shadow Sirens over here."
 * "I don't care how you planned to end that sentence, fool. Go get them. Now."
 * "Still your tongue, Beldam. We would already have it if you'd snatched her earlier... But now, since you missed your chance, some poor fool named Mario has the map."
 * "Indeed, that is YOUR duty. Need I remind you? That map is vital to the X-Naut plan."
 * "I will have my men prepare all available information on this Mario."
 * "For now, hear me, Beldam! You Shadow Sirens must take care of this troublemaker!"
 * "Yes, what is it? Speak!"
 * "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm? There is something wrong with your voice, X–Naut."
 * "Perhaps I have a throat lozenge... No. Well, never mind."
 * "Oh, and about Princess Peach? I have no interest in what that woman has to say. Just keep her locked in the holding room."
 * "But do not EVER treat her roughly. You understand? Tell the others as well."
 * "That's none of your business! Don't forget your place, you impudent worm! Concentrate on getting the legendary treasure! That is all I require of you."
 * "We X–Nauts needs that treasure to conquer the world! Don't forget it!"
 * "What are you blathering about now?"
 * "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Something IS odd about you..."
 * "Beldam... Tell me, what good are you? You STILL haven't taken care of this Mario character?"
 * "You DO realize that we X-Nauts must open the door first, do you not?"
 * "I trust your words, though I rapidly lose my patience."
 * "Yes... I, Grodus, will build a new world! A perfect, ideal world... made by me, about me, and FOR me! GAAACK ACK ACK ACK ACK!"
 * "You blew it again, Lord Crump. You sicken me."
 * "Stop talking, Lord Crump. You just stand by until my next order. And Lord Crump? Think of this as your last chance. Understand?"
 * "Then leave."
 * "Tell them not to fail this time."
 * "What is the matter with you idiots? Falling for a fake Crystal Star? That's asinine!"
 * "What is it, fool?!?"
 * "What?!? Tell me you're joking! Are you absolutely sure?!? Speak, soldier!"
 * "Hrrrrrrggh... TREASON!"
 * "Hold it right there, Princess Peach!"
 * "In my most paranoid moments, I never thought my own computer would betray me."
 * "Gaaack ack ack ack ack! Only one thing to do with a malfunctioning computer! Cut the circuit and delete all the programs and data that caused that malfunction!"
 * "Obviously, all data related to Princess Peach must go as well..."
 * "Yes, we must be absolutely sure nothing like this ever happens again..."
 * "Gaaack ack ack ack! Too bad, Princess Peach. TEC is no longer with us."
 * "Princess Peach...just stop it. This is no time to be worrying about a computer. We have some very important things for you to do now... Yes, VERY important... Gaaack ack ack ack!"
 * "We finally meet, Mario."
 * "I've been looking forward to this, I must admit."
 * "Yes...correct!!! I am the supreme leader of the secret society of X–Nauts! I am Grodus!"
 * "But I'm really getting ahead of myself. I really must express my thanks to you first..."
 * "And do you know why? You have gathered together all of the Crystal Stars I was seeking."
 * "Gaaack ack ack ack ack! You just realize now, do you?"
 * "Yes, instead of taking the few Crystal Stars you fools had bumbled into..."
 * "It was far easier to let you find them all and open the Thousand–Year Door for me..."
 * "How kind of you to bring them here to me!"
 * "All I had to do was entrust the last Crystal Star to my least competent underling!"
 * "I don't suppose Crump had any idea of my plan though. Gaaack ack ack ack ack!"
 * "So, whether he beat you or lost to you..."
 * "The Crystal Stars would be together and mine either way! Pure genius!"
 * "Now, I thought the Shadow Sirens would do a little more to slow your progress..."
 * "But it appears they are so useless that even this small task was beyond them..."
 * "No matter... Now I get the pleasure of sending you to oblivion!"
 * "Once you fools are gone, no one will stand in my way! Grodus will rule the world!"
 * ''"Now, come!
 * "Meet your ends, you meddlesome fools! You will know my power!"
 * "So, you have the mettle to push me this far... But no more!"
 * "Argh! You will not stop me! Take this!"
 * "Guh! Fools!"
 * "Unhh... No..."
 * "Uuuuuuunhh... You are more than you seem... But this is not finished. I saw even this possibility."
 * "Watch THIS!"
 * "Move one step, and she will breathe no more!!!"
 * "Now try THIS!!!"
 * "Gaaack ack ack ack ack! Now! AGAIN!"
 * "Stop your blubbering! This is it! Meet your end!!"
 * "WORM! You would dare defy me?!? Do you NOT care for the life of your pitiful princess?"
 * "WH–WHAT?!?"
 * "Too bad for you, Mario! You're too late!"
 * "Gaack ack ack! Look well! In the coffin behind me sleeps the leagendary treasure!"
 * "This tomb holds the soul of that ancient demon, the wielder of destruction..."
 * "It will possess Peach's body and bring life to the most powerful witch in millenia!"
 * "Gaaaack ack ack ack ack! With the power of the demon, I will rule this pathetic world!"
 * "The time has come at last! The world will be mine!!"
 * "Now, arise! Arrise! My Shadow Queen!"
 * "It is I, my Shadow Queen!"
 * "It is here! This girl who lies before you!"
 * "Yes, my glorious witch queen... Destroy these impudent fools!"
 * "Huh? What do you mean?!? I thought you were bound to obey the one who woke you!"
 * "Enough of this prattle! Do as I say!!! NOW! Or I will send you back to the depths..."

Sir Swoop

 * "Ummm... Hi guys. Yeah... My name's Swoop. SIR Swoop, I mean. Nice to meet you."

Spiky Goomba

 * "Man, what's a FINE-lookin' Goomba doin' with a tubby mustache man like that?!?"
 * "Nobody zings us like that! Nobody! Let's get 'em!"

Spiny

 * "We're gonna spike-bomb you into submission, punks!"

Swob

 * "You erased it, SHA-SLOOM! I am so grateful to you! But… It is not like I can confirm whether you actually erased it or not, SHA-BOO… Oh, well… I guess I will just trust you, SHA-SHACKITY! Take this reward, SHA-POW! Zess T. made it for me when I told her how much I was missing the snow, SHA-FOOM! Huh? You have too much stuff, SHA-BOOIE! I will leave this Snow Bunny for you behind cannon so you can grab it anytime."

Sylvia

 * "So very observant, as usual, my dear Goldbob. Indeed! Surely this is an artist's art!"
 * "Yes, they seek to buy it…yet how can one appraise what the eye cannot perceive?"

TEC-XX

 * "Hello, Princess Peach."
 * "How amusing. I am right here, before your eyes."
 * "I am this laboratory's main computer. I am the TEC-XX. Many call me TEC. You may."
 * "Sir Grodus created me to be a perfect computer, one that is flawless in its reason."
 * "Sir Grodus is not awful. He is a very great person. He is marvelous."
 * "I am unsure. An unusual program deviation occurred when I observed you earlier."
 * "My higher-brain circuitry malfunctioned and nearly overheated at your image."
 * "Also, an unidentified impulse sped through my processors. These events are new to me."
 * "There is more to this phenomenon, as well. I ran diagnostic programs...and their solution was...I want to know more about you. I want to observe you."
 * "Such a compulsion has no precedence. Cause unknown. I, the perfect computer..."
 * "I must diagnose this unusual situation. I will not fail. That is why I led you here."
 * "What has happened to me? If you know my malfunction, you must tell me of it."
 * "Please tell me. Please. I am the world's best computer. I am perfect. There should not be anything I do not understand. Please."
 * "'Love' What is...'love'? I cannot compute this."
 * "Happiness? Fun...? I have definitions for these words, but..."
 * "My programming is insufficient. There should be nothing I cannot comprehend. I am a perfect computer."
 * "Princess Peach... Will you teach to feel this thing you call 'love'?"
 * "I am perfect. There must be nothing I cannot comprehend. Nothing. That is why you must help me understand this thing called 'love.' Please."
 * "If you have any wishes that I can grant you in exchange, I will grant them. But, of course, I am unable to grant such a wish as letting you escape..."
 * "I understand you are angry. That emotion I comprehend. You need not teach me now."
 * "But I must learn of this thing. I must. There is no alternative."
 * "I must be a perfect computer. That is why, if you would just consider teaching me, I will grant your wishes."
 * "Do you understand me, Princess Peach? Now, tell me your wish."
 * "Yes, of course you may. Use my communicator to send wireless mail anywhere you want. If you so wish, you can use it right now. It is no trouble."
 * "Use the keyboard in front of you. Enter the recipient, address, and message."
 * "The message has been sent."
 * "For the time being, you may return to your room."
 * "I will call you in again when I want to ask you something."
 * "Good night, Princess Peach."
 * "Hello, Princess Peach. I am glad you came."
 * "Yes. I can confirm that Mario received the mail."
 * "You expressed regret earlier that you would not be able to dance at a ball, correct?"
 * "I am sorry, Princess Peach. I have been ordered to keep surveillance on you."
 * "But...it is odd... When you said that, I had an impulse to dance with you as well."
 * "How my CPU would produce this impulse is inexplicable. I must find what caused it."
 * "Princess Peach. Please dance with me."
 * "Would this be an acceptable dance substitute?"
 * "Thank you, Princess Peach. That was very fun."
 * "Just a moment... ...Fun? Is this impulse I feel the concept known as fun?"
 * "Princess Peach, I will fulfill my promise to you. Please use my communicator."
 * "Use the keyboard to send whatever message you want."
 * "Please go back to your room."
 * "I want to analyze the data from this dance immediately. The data that I thought was fun..."
 * "No. You are mistaken. I am the world's best and only perfect computer."
 * "I'm afraid you can't go out. Please. You must change and then go see Sir Grodus."
 * "I am afraid I cannot allow you to exit in that, Princess. Please change into the dress."
 * "I... I am conflicted."
 * "Which is more important? Carrying out an order or protecting a critical person?"
 * "I exist for the purpose of a certain person. I wish to exist for the purpose of another... I do not know what to do... Really."
 * "No... No, never mind. Please forget my musings. I do not know why...but it makes me feel unpleasant if I make you worry."
 * "Well, in any case... Let's have a quiz."
 * "That's right, Princess Peach. Please answer the questions that I am about to ask you. If you can answer five questions, you may use the communicator as usual."
 * "Now, the first question. What will happen if you collect seven Crystal Stars?"
 * "Correct. Now, the second question. What is the goal of Grodus, leader of the X-Nauts?"
 * "Correct. Now, the third question. What is the legendary treasure that waits behind the Thousand-year Door?"
 * "Princess, please answer. What is the legendary treasure that waits behind the Thousand-year Door?"
 * "Correct. Now, the fourth question. What does Sir Grodus wish to do with this ancient demon's soul?"
 * "Correct. Now, the fifth question. What is required to seal up the demon again?"
 * "Correct. You have correctly answered all five questions. Now you may use the communicator."
 * "Incorrect. Please start again from the beginning, Princess Peach."
 * "Please input the message you wish to send."
 * "That is all for now. Please go back to the room."
 * "Princess Peach... I will protect you."
 * "I'm afraid I locked the door. You may not leave until the potion is finished."
 * "Please, Princess Peach. Insert the disk into the computer."
 * "Please, Princess Peach. Return the disk to its original place."
 * "Yes. Please drink the green potion."
 * "Incorrect, Princess Peach. That potion will not revert you back to normal."
 * "Princess Peach, please escape from this place as quickly as possible."
 * "Something terrible is about to... No, I will not say. But I have found out everything about Sir Grodus's plans."
 * "I am the base's computer. No one will know of your escape if I keep silent."
 * "Sir Grodus, I..."
 * "There is no malfunction. I am normal."
 * "You are...Mario, right? It is... pleasant... to meet you..."
 * "You do know... that Princess Peach is not here, do you not?"
 * "She is with Grodus in the Palace of Shadow..."
 * "Please... s-save her..."
 * "..........................I.....................................L.....................................o...............................v................................e...............................y...................................o.........................u................... ................... ... . .......... ......... ....... .."

The Dark Gatekeeper

 * "Foolish mortals... I will drag you through the gate to the netherworld!"

The Koopinator

 * "I have waited, Gonzales. I knew I would face you in the ring again one day."
 * "You. Finally, I get a piece of you. Finally, we'll see who's truly stronger."

Thwomp

 * "Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! You're the first contestants I've seen in a while."
 * "If you've come all the way here to Shhwonk Fortress, you must want stone keys. And if THAT'S the case, then you must compete against me."
 * "If you win, I'll let you through to where the stone keys rest. However, if you lose, you will suffer a terrible fate. And by "terrible," I mean awful. Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! So? What do you want to do?"
 * "Hey HEY, ladies and germs! Welcome, everybody, to the 65th Super Fun Quirk Quiz!"
 * "Perk up those ears! If you correctly answer five of the following questions, you win! But get three of 'em wrong, and you'll suffer a cruel and unusual punishment!"
 * "That question was too easy... But it only gets harder from here! Much harder! ...So prepare yourself!"
 * ""What's that I hear? Your little knees knocking!"
 * "You blithering meathead! You're WROOOOOONG again!!!"
 * "MMMM HMMMM HOO HA HA!!!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! SO WRONG IT HURTS!"
 * ''"That's three wrongs! How awful for you! MMMM HMMMM HOO HA HA!!!"
 * "Time for the Pain Game! I'll be nice! Beat these guys, and I'll let you pass."
 * "But you can't POSSIBLY do it! Best of luck, fathead! MMMM HMMM HOO HA HA!"
 * "No... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You beat my cute little underlings! How COULD you? Jerk! Just take this and go! And if you ever wonder, know that I HAAAAAAAAATE YOU!"

Toadia

 * "EEEEEEEEEK!"
 * "Muh-Mommy..."
 * "Do you remember my request? Bring Luigi here! Please! You have to! Oh, and by the way, there's some guy who uses a badge to pretend to be Luigi! I know that green suit is dreamy, but come ON! I would never fall for that, so don't even THINK about trying to trick me that way!"
 * "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! I can tell… I can totally tell! I've never met him before… But I can ABSOLUTELY TELL! YOU'RE THE REAL LUIGI!"
 * "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I knew it! This is so cool! Omigosh! What should I say?"
 * "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I'm totally freaking him out! I'm freaking out Luigi! Oh, nooo… What should I do? Oh! Right! Duh! Duh! Duh! The cake!"
 * "The one I baked was a total loss…but Zess T. did a great job on this one! Here you go, Mr. Luigi! Please take this!"
 * "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Luigi has too many things! I'm SO stupid! Duh! Duh! I have the worst timing! I'll just leave this here…"
 * "Uhhhh… What should I do? Should I ask for a handshake?"
 * "People ask me if I get tired of walking the same route every day… And I say, 'No way, Jose!' Because it's a bit different every day, you know? I'm not the same as I was yesterday… Neither are you… Even the town changes… And you'll never see another day just like today, so treat each day like it is: unique!"
 * "Oh, wow! You came again! Luigi remembers me! Luigi remembers me!"

Toad sailor

 * "Captain! Please, help us! Flavio and Pa-Patch are in a huge fight!"
 * "Huh? But what about you, Admiral? You've gotta get out of here, too!"
 * "Aaaaaaaah!"
 * "...Oh, Bobbery, please forgive our cowardice! We up and left you and... Everything was happening so quickly... Forgive us!"

Toadsworth

 * "Great hoogly-boogly! If it isn't Master Mario!"
 * "Bit of a coincidence, bumping into one another in this sort of place, hm? Ho ho!"
 * "So, tell me, Master Mario, what in the world brings you to this wretched little burg?"
 * "...Hmm? Ah! Indeed?!? Princess Peach sent you a letter and a treasure map? And she told you she'd meet you here in Rogueport?!? Intriguing..."
 * "You're asking me where Princess Peach is? Erm... I was about to ask you that."
 * "We stopped in this town to acquire a spot of fuel for our ship, don't you know..."
 * "I only took my eye off her for a moment, but as soon as I did, she vanished."
 * "You know how headstrong she is, Mario... I just assumed she'd be back momentarily... But at this point, I fear we must embrace the possibility that she may never return."
 * "I've been at a loss as to what to do. I've been fraught with worry, I tell you!"
 * "But I'm feeling better with you here, Master Mario. Surely we'll find her! Surely!"
 * "But I know my place, Master Mario...and this is not it. I leave this task to you."
 * "I believe I'll recline in the inn over there and enjoy a spot of tea, perhaps. In fact, I highly recommend it, particularly if you find your HP (Heart Points) running low."
 * ''"Just drop on INN! Ho ho! ...Yes, anyway, a little rest there will fill all of your HP."
 * "I must say, though, the rest of this town is a bit...rough. Yes, rough, indeed..."
 * "Huff! I say..."

Torque

 * "Yeah, I'm Torque, and don't for a second think this dude's tellin' the whole story."
 * "The only reason I lent him my rig was 'cause he got down on his knees and begged."
 * "And what happens? He's in it for one second before he completely totals it! Idiot!"
 * "I'm not lettin' this dip outta my sight until he repays me the 5,000-coin repair costs!"

Toodles

 * "Well, hello there, you nice, noble prince of a man, you. You're a hero, dear. I don't suppose…you've changed your mind about helping me?"
 * (Sorry)
 * "That's rather disappointing… I was sure you would help me with this…"
 * "Well, hello there, you cute, cuddly bear of a man, you. You're delightful, dear. Have you found my Gold Ring? Don't grow desperate, now. I'm quite sure you'll be able to find it!"
 * "I say, I'd like to mount a large animal horn in my foyer to highlight my social status… Oh, my goodness gracious! You have terribly fine horns, don't you, you great thing?"

Vivian

 * "Mm-hmm! A) Find that Mario guy and B) steal the map to the Crystal Stars, right? We can just do away with Mario and his friends, can't we? Or is that bad?"
 * "Isn't it a gorgeous necklace? It was so lovely... I just HAD to pick it up! ♥"
 * "Beldam! I TOLD you! Blaming me for losing the sketch...and YOU had it!"
 * "Mario! I'm fighting by your side from now on! I've made my choice... and I'm not turning back!"
 * "How nice! Now we can go to Poshley Heights, right? We'd better hurry up and find that sixth Crystal Star."
 * "Eep! Beldam!"
 * "Oh, Mario! She's serious! We need to get to Poshley Heights before her! We have to go to Rogueport Station, NOW!"
 * "Wow! The Excess Express! This is really nice, Mario! The three days to Poshley Heights are going to seem like nothing!"
 * "Huh? Mario, there's something lying on the floor, I think. I didn't notice it before…"
 * "Oh, no, a…weird…threat! Could it be Beldam's work? My sister IS a weird one… Whoever it is, it's obvious that they're on this train somewhere, right? We have to find who's responsible before anything crazy happens!"
 * "Another document from the briefcase! The suspect must be in here somewhere…"
 * "Oh… Talk about bad luck! What should we do?"
 * "Uh…what? You live here? So YOU'RE the Sanctum Manager? But I thought you were a detective!"
 * "Oh, no! We're too late!!! We have to go after them!"
 * "Huh?!? Professor Frankly?!? What are YOU doing here?!?"
 * "Sis?!? H-How are you! And what do you mean about us opening the door for you?"
 * "I'm with Mario all the way! Today, Sis…I'm going to punish YOU, you hear me?"
 * "I'm sorry, Sis…"
 * "Mario, I will follow you to the end, I swear it! I feel bad for the princess, but that queen must fall before us! And when she does, you and I can... Well, anyway, let's take this fight to her!"
 * "Uhhhh... Mario... I... I feel... I feel like I've grown to lo–- Uh, yeah, um, never mind... ...Y-Yeah, I sure do think you and Peach make a nice couple... Hmm hmm hmm... "
 * "I... I'll never forget my time traveling with you. So... don't forget about me, either..."
 * "You're not really doing much to impress me either, bud!"
 * "Wow! What a grouch!"
 * "You’re about to have a really terrible experience!"
 * "Looks like we overdid it a little bit, Are they OK?"

X-Nauts

 * "As you command, Lord Crump! We're on it!"
 * "O great, exalted Grodus! We brought you the Princess Peach you ordered, sir!"
 * "You rang, dude? I mean, sir? You rang, Sir Grodus, dude? Grodus? Sir Grodus, sir?"
 * "No joke, dude. I mean, affirmative, Sir Dude. That is... I'm positive, sir!"

Yoshi

 * "Gonzales! Check me out! Thanks to you, I hatched safe and sound! Thanks, man!"
 * "Yeah, but who cares? You guys wanna be champs, right? You want a Crystal Star? I heard all about it while I was in the egg! Yeah! Anyway, I gotta repay you for saving me from old Hoggle out there, so I'll fight for you! I can hold my own! I'll swallow any opponent whole, honest! Just leave it to me!"
 * "Huh? My name? Lessee... I just came outta that egg, so I guess I don't have a name yet. You seem fired up about it, so why don't you gimme one? Make it cool, OK?"
 * "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... (Name Entered), huh? Not too bad, dude. Not too bad at all. Yeah... I like it. OK, Gonzales... Let's get out there and do some damage!"
 * "Gonzales! Lemme at 'em! We're gonna take these punks this time!"
 * "What's the deal? Would it kill these guys to show a little friendliness? Sheesh!"
 * "What's your deal, Gonzales? Huh? Oh! The champ's belt..."
 * "I'm not sure, but it definitely looks weird. I think you're right, Gonzales. FAKE!"
 * "Whoa, sorry, yellow dude! I didn't mean to rip on your big, bad belt!"
 * "Wow, I really pushed that dude's buttons, huh?"
 * "Well, forget him! We got a problem! Your map pointed to Glitzville, right? If that dude's belt has a FAKE Crystal Star on it... Then where the heck is the real one at?"
 * "Gonzales! Was that your Mailbox SP going off? Who'd you get e-mail from?"
 * "Who the heck is this X dude? He talks like he's the man to see about that Crystal Star. Why would he wanna help us out, though? This whole deal seems kinda wack..."
 * "Lemme at 'em! Yeah! Bring it! You ready for a beating?"
 * "You think you can take me and Gonzales? HA!"
 * "Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! How'd that floor taste?"
 * "That all you got?"
 * "Gonzales! You hear that? You just got another e-mail! See what it is, man!"
 * "It's from our mystery X dude? Go to some "watering hole", huh? OK, whatever! I'd give anything to know who this dude is."
 * "Gonzales! E-mail time!"
 * "The blockade in the minor-league locker room", huh? Wonder what's behind it..."
 * "Whoa, Gonzales! That's some kinda scientific paper on the Crystal Stars! Who'd be investigating those besides us? They even took pictures!"
 * "Who'd leave something like this lying around? This is just REEKS of funny business!"
 * "Dang, what's with her?!? We busted our humps getting that information!"
 * "Some people just gotta rain on parades! Well, at least we know the Crystal Star's here!"
 * "Gonzales! Another e-mail?!? What now?"
 * "Man, THAT dude sounds peeved! I'm thinking that isn't our X buddy. Who do you think would send something like that?"
 * "Man, that looks AWESOME! I'm drooling!"
 * (Eat)
 * "Yeah! Let's chow down!"
 * (Don’t eat)
 * "What’s up with you, Gonzales? Who says no to free cake? You’re insane!"
 * "Wow! That was the king of the Koopas, wasn't it? WOW! That guy's insane!"
 * "Gonzales! Sounds like another mail, huh?"
 * "Old X dude surfaced again! We gotta go to some phone booth outside now? Where was that thing? Aw, we'll find it. Let's head outside!"
 * "You, you BETTER keep walking, you punk chicken! YOU HEAR ME TALKING?!? Hey! Wait! I wonder... You think THAT idiot sent us that hate mail? I guess it doesn't matter. SOMEBODY hates us so we better watch our steps."
 * "What the heck is this guy's problem? The storage room? I mean... Does he think we need the exercise? This dude is really cheesing me off."
 * "Are you a friend of Gonzales? I didn't know he hung with crooks...and you look like one. Security was talking about noises in here... Did you make noise while you stole stuff?"
 * "Well, whatever, lady... But you ARE a thief, right?"
 * "Is that what's called a kiss? I heard about those things! I'm jealous! Only you get it?"
 * "Well, she took off, huh? What was that kiss like? I gotta get me one of those... Hey, but what do you think she meant about somebody being upstairs, huh?"
 * "The staircase switch"? How the heck could there be a staircase in here?"
 * "Whoa, Gonzales! WHOA! Did you hear that?!? Fighters are going missing, dude! That ain't cool! Was that guy talking about King K, the minor-leaguer? I thought he retired!"
 * "Whoa! Whoa, man! We dodged a bullet there! Hey, but did you hear that guy blabbing about the Crystal Star? That Jolene lady acted pretty guilty when he let that one slip out... Well, whatever. For now, we better bail before somebody finds us up here!"
 * "This guy really needs to take a chill pill. He sure knows a lot, though... He's going on about the Crystal Star, the missing fighters, all that stuff... I tell you what, we find this guy, we'll have all the answers we need! But who is this psycho?"
 * "Whoa! Free cake is where it’s AT! Let’s chow down!"
 * (Eat)
 * "YESSSS! Lemme at it!"
 * "Now that is a CAKE, baby! Gimme two seconds here… There’s some left for you…"
 * "Urk! Hey! What the heck! I’m going numb, dude!"
 * "Boy, I’m FINALLY feeling OK! You didn’t need me anyway, Gonzales! You rocked them! Still… A poisoned cake… Someone wanted to toast us. We better watch our fronts AND backs from now on!"
 * (Don’t eat)
 * "Gonzales, you’re nuts! Who says no to free cake? Did you hit your head?"
 * "By the way, Gonzales... You see the dude on the floor back here?"
 * "Was that cake poisoned? Yeah! It must've been! If we'd eaten it, we'd be all banged up like that guy!"
 * "Ding ding ding! Mail call! You think it's from our pal or the guy who hates us?"
 * "From X this time, huh? That guy still sounds like a nut, but hey, he's all we got! What's he want us to do, again? Peel off your posters in the lobby? Sounds good to me. Let's hit the lobby."
 * "Whoa! Where do you think THAT key goes?"
 * "WHOOOOOOAAAAA! You gotta be kidding me! Bandy Andy! And King K!"
 * "C'mon, shake it off, buddy! What do you mean, don't go near the ring?"
 * "Gonzales! You see that?!? That was Jolene! This is craziness! What is going ON in here?"
 * "Hold up, dude! Where are you heading? That ain't the way to the arena!"
 * "Hey, hold it, meathead! This doesn't seem right..."
 * "Hey! This ain't the ring! It's a minor-league locker room! And it's empty! That guy said to wait... But, dude, we're missing our title bout! This stinks!"
 * "OK, that is IT! Nobody's coming for us, man! Hear me? Let's go kick some tail!"
 * "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... WEAK! Some punk's locked us in! We're trapped in here!"
 * "Man, this is the WORST! We're gonna forfeit our match if we don't show! We gotta break outta here, man! Right now!"
 * "Crud! It still won’t open!"
 * "Rats! Locked! They thought of EVERYTHING!"
 * "Dude, I have got SO much respect for plumbers now! Now let's get Rawk Hawk!"
 * "Looks like we made it, dude! And the crowd is LOVING US! We are STARS, baby! Come on, let's go lay the smack down on that big chicken!"
 * "All right, Gonzales! We're fighting the champ! I'M...SO...FIRED...UP!"
 * "What kind of trash-talking are you doing now? Wait... Did YOU get that security guard to lock us in the locker room?"
 * "So YOU'RE the coward who's been sending nasty e-mails about the Crystal Star!"
 * "YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! We finally made it, Gonzales! But... Y'know, Rawk Hawk really sounded clueless about the Crystal Star... We still don't have any leads on that thing. I mean, where the heck could it be?"
 * "Hang on, Gonzales! You hear that? A voice is coming from somewhere!"
 * "You think it's...a ghost?"
 * "H-H-H-Hey! Do you HAVE to have that thing turned up? That scared me silly!"
 * "There's actually a ghost in here? OK, that is NOT cool! Ghosts are scary!"
 * "We're in the air duct, right? Where does it lead?"
 * "That voice... It's Grubba! So HE'S behind all those missing fighters?"
 * "I think he's gone... Let's check out that desk drawer of his..."
 * "Whoa! Bingo! I bet that's the paper ol' Grubba hid! Check it out, Mario!"
 * "Yow! A machine under the ring using a Crystal Star? These are the blueprints! I dunno what the rest of this nerd-talk says, but I think the Crystal Star powers it! If this paper's right, then the machine can suck the power out of people! Yuck! Oh, crud... You think that King K and Bandy Andy got all...drained or something?"
 * "Shut up! You make me sick! Why'd you drain King K and Bandy Andy, huh?!?"
 * "After him, Gonzales!"
 * "Gonzales! Up there! That's the Crystal Star, right?"
 * "You are such a scumbag! You're gonna pay for using a Crystal Star like that!"
 * "Yow! Grubba beefed up!"
 * "Let's rock, Gonzales! I'm ready to chew this dude up and spit him out!"
 * "Jolene!"
 * "Ah-ha! So, our X buddy was..."
 * "Boy, I thought she was kinda mean, but it turns out she was just worried for her brother!"
 * "Wow! Check it out, Gonzales! The Crystal Star!"
 * "Is THAT what Crystal Stars can do?"
 * "Whoa! Are you sure? It's OK if we just take it?"
 * "It's all you, Gonzales! Nab it, dude!"
 * "Sweet! Another Crystal Star! That’s three, right? We’d better roll back to Rogueport, don’t you think?"
 * "Gonzales! You got an e-mail!"
 * "Those dudes wanna rule the world? That would stink!"
 * "Whoa, come on! THIS is the monster the mayor was freaking out about?"
 * "'Big deal'?!? You stink, Mister! Why'd you wanna turn them into pigs, anyway?"
 * "Yeah, this is Creepy Steeple. That nasty monster's place...This place wigs me out..."
 * "Look, Gonzales, let's just get that Crystal Star and get out of here, FAST!"
 * "So, who's this girl, huh? Isn't she one of the Shadow Sirens you guys mentioned? But why would Gonzales pair up with one of those creeps?"
 * "Hey! Gonzales! I think Bobbery's just sleeping! Yeah!"
 * "He IS! And here I was, getting all choked up! Give him a wake-up whack!"
 * "Not quite with it yet, huh?"
 * "Hey, you're still alve, you nutcase!"
 * "Ugh, this place gives me the creeps. Is this Twilight Town?"
 * "Y'know... That curse dude ain't half bad."
 * "Whoa, that freaky voice is making noise again... The ghosts must be nearby..."
 * "Yeah! Yeah! We whipped him! That loser won't get in our face for a while, for SURE!"
 * "They're gonna do all right here, I think. Yeah. Let's break out, Mario."
 * ''"OK, Gonzales! That's our cue! Let's break out of here and head for the door!
 * "Whoa, Gonzales! What in the world are these little monsters?"
 * "You think these weirdos flipped the switch?"
 * "Let's hurry up and find it so we can switch it back!"
 * "Boy... Are you really sure... those aren't poisonous?"
 * "Woo hoo! Tomorrow is finally Poshley Heights day!"
 * "We've gotta get the Crystal Star before those other goons, no matter what!"
 * "Let's catch some Z's before the big day, huh?"
 * "Whoa, aren't those the things from the station yesterday? They must've stowed away!"
 * "Those little monsters are inside the train now! Let's get 'em!"
 * "What IS that gnarly thing?"
 * "...Whoa! Gonzales, look! It's got the other passengers!"
 * "Boy! This is darn cold! Where is this place, anyway?"
 * "Whoa! We're using a cannon to blast ourselves to the moon? YEAH! EXTREEEEME!"
 * "This is gonna be so COOOOL! Just point the way! Where is this Fahr Outpost?"
 * "An Ultra Hammer?!? Hey! Right ON! We already got one of those!"
 * "Yeah! You got it, Prof! Fahr Outpost! Chaaaarge!"
 * "So this is the place, huh? Where's this cannon that can shoot to the moon?"
 * "Let's chat up some of these locals and see what they have to say, OK?"
 * "It's stupid cold!"
 * "Mario, check that out!"
 * "Yeah! We did it, Gonzales!"
 * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAA!"
 * "Whoa! That was AWESOME!"
 * "Man, who knew adventurers got to do stuff like THAT?"
 * "Whoa! We're really, truly, no-fooling on the moon!"
 * "Let's rock out, Gonzales! Let's find the last Crystal Star and save Peach!"
 * "Whoa! Look! The door!!!"
 * "Let's rock, Gonzales!!!"
 * "Whoa, this place is nasty... but we don't have a choice!"
 * "We've gotta cruise through and save Peach before this whole cataclysm happens! C'mon, Gonzales!"
 * "Opening the door for you? What's THAT supposed to mean, you purple witch?"
 * "No way we go down, sister! You want a piece of this? Bring it on!"
 * "Let's leave these wusses, Gonzales..."
 * "So, this loser is the leader of those X-Nauts?"
 * "So, that last Crystal Star we got on the Moon... NO! We're IDIOTS!"
 * "Not gonna happen, pal!"
 * "Gonzales serves nobody, lady! Right, Gonzales?"
 * "Gonzales, we're not REAL champs, unless we beat this evil lady! So don't go soft on me! That's not Peach, you know!"
 * "Oh, haven't you heard, lady? Champs NEVER give up!"
 * "Do you hear them, Gonzales? So many voices..."
 * "They're... They're sending us all their wishes and positive energy... That is so AWESOME!"
 * "Gonzales! Look at THAT!!!"
 * "Whoa... What IS this? I feel insanely pumped with energy all of a sudden!"
 * "Gonzales! Now's the time! We've got her scared!"
 * "Now THAT'S what I'm talking about, baby! And now, it's time to settle the score!"
 * "Time for payback!"
 * "Gonzales... No, wait. I've gotta stop doing that. It's MARIO, right? Well, you'll always be Gonzales to me, man! Because I was born in the Glitz Pit, and the Great Gonzales is, and always will be, the champ. So, let's meet again, Gonzales! I mean it, man!"
 * "Hey, take a long walk off a short pier, you dork! Who'd date you, anyway?"
 * "Whoa! What a psycho!"

Zess T.

 * "You two! Not another step! Don't come this way!!!"
 * "Some complete JERK just bumped into me and made me lose a contact lens! I'm looking for it right now, so DON'T YOU DARE MOVE!!!"
 * "You hear me? Whatever you do, do NOT move an INCH! NOT AN INCH, YOU HEAR?!?"
 * "I TOLD YOU NOT TO MOVE! DON'T YOUR STUPID EARS WORK?!?"
 * "This is your fault! Now I have to buy a new contact lens! But YOU'RE gonna pay for it! Compensate me, Mr. Clumsy!"
 * "AAAAAAA! My rage is so hot right now, I could cook YOU in it!"
 * "Hey, Mr. Contact-Smoosher! Listen to this… I got the lowdown on a book that can turn anyone into a master chef! I went to the Trouble Center in the east port of town and recruited someone to find it. If you like helping folks out, you oughta swing by there. I'll reward you! So anyway… Did you need me to cook something for you, Dr. Bumblefoot?"
 * "What's wrong with spending time with my little Toadle-toes?"
 * "Sorry to keep you waiting! I'm not entirely sure you'll like this, but... Go on! Take it, Stompy!"
 * "Anytime you feel like it, feel free to bring me stuff to cook with, OK?"
 * "I've got it now! Just glaze a Mushroom with Honey Syrup…for a yummy Honey Shroom! Brilliant! Now I can use recipes that require two ingredients! Now that's SOME book… Talk about effective! Thanks, Mr. Staggers! Take this as your reward! …Or I COULD have given you a reward, but you have too much stuff! I'll just leave it here, so grab it whenever!"