List of Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest quotes

This article contains quotes from both the Super Nintendo and Game Boy Advance versions of Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest. The quotes are listed alphabetically, by character.

Cranky Kong

 * "I thought you were supposed to be a big star!"
 * "I didn't! Whisking off maidens and chucking barrels, seven days a week I was! There was none of this lazin' around on a beach!"
 * "I wouldn't be caught dead in a game with bonus levels, end-of-level bosses, and a screen that scrolls!"
 * "Say hello to your old grandpappy Cranky. I'm back by popular demand to offer my wealth of gameplay wisdom for this unnecessary sequel."
 * "I'd sort out old K. Rool for you real quick, but I'd be spoiling the limited fun you're trying to get out of this shoddy product!"
 * "Surprise, surprise. Well if it isn't the so called video game heroes! I hope I'm getting paid for all my help!"
 * "Have you been to see the other members of the Kong family? They're not as useful as me of course, but they might be able to help."
 * "I was hoping for more frames this time, but no! Don't let old Cranky do anything. Just give him some third rate stand frames!"
 * "You think your fancy graphics and sound will work again! I think not. You'll be lucky to sell 10 copies this time!"
 * "I hope you bought "Cranky Kong Country" last year. I was the one who made it so successful, not that lumbering Donkey!"
 * "Just 'cos DKC sold a few lousy copies, I have to be included in another ludicrous adventure! It's the last time, I tell you!"
 * "K. Rool is gonna whup your hides this time, whippersnappers! I'd better take over before you embarrass yourselves!"
 * "Is that nasty fat crocodile beating you? Listen up, and I'll share my amazing knowledge!"
 * "Back so soon? I thought you'd complete at least another level before you came crying to me!"
 * "I knew you'd be back. Can't finish this ridiculous quest without my help, can you?"
 * "I knew it! You've come to beg for my help again, haven't you! Well, I'm not going to tell you anything this time!"
 * "You must be really desperate to read all this! Having trouble on your miserable, boring quest are we?"
 * "I don't even get two screens to stand in! I'm sure K. Rool will have two, so why can't I? Pah!"
 * "Look! They've even taken my chair from me. It's disgusting how they treat old video game heroes these days..."
 * "Did you notice in DKC that my tune sounded like the title tune? How dare they! I'm worth two different tunes at least!"
 * "Look at all this junk in here! Treat my home like a trash can they do! No respect for their elders, that's the trouble..."
 * "Where's Expresso? A clumsy spider and a fat parrot, is that the best they can think of?"
 * "I hate being stuck in this shabby barrel. I want to sit outside like last time!"
 * "Give up now before the kids realize you're not as popular as Donkey Kong was!"
 * "You spend as much time in here as I do!"
 * "I don't know why I help you so much. You don't appreciate me!"
 * "I'll box your ears if you don't listen this time!"
 * "Come on in! Have yourselves a look 'round and buy some of this trash, why don't you?"
 * "Haven't sold a single thing in weeks! If this junk was out of one of my games, the customers would be begging to get in!"
 * "What do you want this time?"
 * "O.K., which of these would you like?"
 * "Here's what I've got to offer."
 * "This stuff is cheap at half the price!"
 * "Gaze in awe, as you appreciate my knowledge!"
 * "Here's a fraction of my enviable knowledge!"
 * "Go ahead, test my amazing knowledge!"
 * "Pick a subject! I know everything about this game!"
 * "Try all you'd like, this game will never be as good as Donkey Kong Country, and even THAT was rubbish anyway!"
 * "Shouldn't Dixie just be a token female princess waiting to be rescued, instead of a main character?"
 * "Diddy, I thought you were a cheap character in DKC, but Dixie's even worse! It should be me on my own, that it should!"
 * "Girl heroes in video games, pah. I can't believe it! The main character should be really muscle-bound and carry a gun, not twirl their hair round!"
 * "Well done, Diddy, m'boy! Who'd have known you'd be able to rescue that lazy grandson of mine and dump K. Rool in his own filthy swamp? Not bad for a novice! Of course, if I'd have been playing, I'd have made sure that K. Rool never tries a cheap trick like this again!"
 * "An eight-legged friend will go halfway to help you here."
 * "I bet this here Killer Instinct game is rubbish too! It hasn't got me in it, so it must be!"
 * "Enough talk, let's see your tokens!"
 * "I'd have collected far more tokens than that by now! What's wrong, got holes in your pockets?"
 * "I reckon you should spend all your tokens here."
 * "I can recommend the really expensive ones, actually."
 * "Don't come back without a sackful of tokens!"
 * "I'm off to spend my tokens!"
 * "Feast yer eyes on my menu!"
 * "Take a look at this lot!"
 * "Time for a couple of games on this here Killer Instinct."
 * "I gotta go now, my wife is visiting any moment!"
 * "When you need more advice, which you will, I might help again, if you're lucky."
 * "Remember, I'm the most useful of the Kongs, and the cheapest!"
 * "It should be real easy for you now!"
 * "Even you can finish this silly game now!"
 * "Now, go and sort out those stupid crocodiles!"
 * "Don't be surprised if I'm gone next time. I'll be in a real game!"
 * "Now, buzz off and let me work on my new game design."
 * "Guess I'd better tidy this miserable dump up a bit."
 * "I don't want to help you too much."
 * "That's enough help for now. I need some rest."
 * "Yawn! I'm getting tired. Go away and don't disturb me again!"
 * "Now, go ahead and switch that cartridge off, so I could get some sleep! I reckon I've earned it!"

Donkey Kong

 * "Even video game heroes get time off."
 * "Why don't you go pester Diddy or something!? Just leave me in peace for once!"

Funky Kong

 * "Come jump into my jet 'n' jive, Clive!"
 * "Go get that K. Rool, he just ain't cool!"
 * "Awesome playing, Kongs! Go get that K. Rool. He just ain't cool!"
 * "Everything is cool guys. You're lookin' ready to ride and catch some clouds!"
 * "Drop in on the other Kongs, dudes. We're all here to help you guys!"
 * "All flights cleared, dudes. Choose and cruise!"
 * "Check me out again, huh?"
 * "Catch y' later, dudes!"
 * "Wicked! She's all tuned up and ready to go!"
 * "Way cool! Pick a flight and you're outta sight!"
 * "Pick it and kick it, Kongs. You're A-Okay!"
 * "Remember, Funky's the Monkey!"
 * "I fly 24 hours y'know!"
 * "Take it easy, Kongs!"
 * "Call again, good buddies!"
 * "Stay loose, guys!"

Kaptain K. Rool

 * "I've kidnapped that lumbering fool Donkey Kong and you will never see him again! Har-har-har-har-har!"
 * "You didn't think it would be that easy, did you? Now, let's see how you fare against Kerozene!"

Klubba

 * "A-harrrr! 'Tis the flea ridden gorillas again! Pay the toll, or ye'll suffer a plenty, I promise ye!"
 * "It's twenty lashes wi' the cat o' nine tails for ye if I don't get me booty this time, y' filthy apes!"
 * "Avast there! Touch me horde o' gold 'ere, an' I'll slice ye in two!"
 * "Scurvy chimps ahoy! C'mon ye yellowbellies. Try an' cross Klubba's bridge without payin'. I dare ye!"
 * "Shiver me timbers! Where's me loot? Cos if I don't get none, ye don't cross over, mateys!"
 * "Splice me mainbrace, it's the monkeys! I hope yers got enough booty this time, or ye'll walk the plank!"
 * "I'll wrap me club around yer moth eaten heads if yer don't pay every last one!"
 * "Har! Har! Har! Y'must be jokin' if I'm gonna let ye across fer that lousy loot!"
 * "What's wrong with ye? Our bonus rooms must be too hard for y' flea bitten chimps t' find."
 * "Try that again an' it's Davy Jones's locker f' ye! A-harrh!"
 * "That's not enough, y' banana-scoffing, scummy landlubbers!"
 * "Get lost and fetch me lots more treasure, y' scurvy dogs!"
 * "Ye'll 'ave t' find me more 'n that to pass!"
 * "Come back and face me, yellow bellied dogs!"
 * "Ye'll taste me club if ye don't get some more!"
 * "Let's see yer dubloons, ye mangy apes!"
 * "I'll be waiting right 'ere, y' flea bitten monkeys!"
 * "Come back when you want a beating. Har! Har!"
 * "Beat it, y' mangy apes!"
 * "Get lost, landlubbers!"

Swanky Kong

 * "Give them a big hand folks! Good evening, I'm Swanky Kong and you're tonight's contestants on my Bonanza! It's easy to play! Just pick a game and you're away!"
 * "Welcome back! You've joined us as the Kongs are about to choose their game. No help from the audience, please."
 * "Step right up! It's your lucky day, here on my Bonus Bonanza! I know you're gonna win the Big One!"
 * "What do you do for a living? Video game heroes you say? Well, that's great! Hit the button and let's play!"
 * "Don't be nervous. We all want you to win, don't we folks? That's right, they're all behind you!"
 * "Right this way! I've got three wonderful games just for you! Take your time and make your choice!"
 * "It's great to see you back! I wish you could win everything. I really do!"
 * "Come on, let's have a round of applause for them!"
 * "Good answer! Here we go again..."
 * "That's correct! Here's the next one..."
 * "Yessss! Let's play on..."
 * "I knew you'd win this time!"
 * "Alright! Onto the next round..."
 * "Well done! You got them all right!"
 * "We have a winner here tonight!"
 * "I'll have even better prizes next time!"
 * "You've been great contestants!"
 * "If you fancy a game, you know my name!"
 * "Everyone is a winner here!"
 * "I hope we'll see you back next week!"
 * "See you next week!"
 * "Until the next time, here on Swanky's Bonus Bonanza!"

Wrinkly Kong

 * "All those Kremlings want to do is learn how to fight and squash monkeys!"
 * "Those naughty crocodiles! All they want to learn is how to fight and squash monkeys, Tsk!"
 * "When you see Kaptain K. Rool, can you ask him if he has done his homework?"
 * "Hurry along! School is nearly finished! You need to study a little more if you're going to beat the Kremlings!"
 * "You're looking a little weary dear. Would you like to save your game?"
 * "Good luck, children."
 * "Be careful now, Kongs."
 * "Have you been to see my husband Cranky? He complains a little, but he does know everything about this island."
 * "Goodbye, dearies."
 * "Take care, dearies."
 * "Don't be a stranger now."
 * "Try to make it to my next class."
 * "Come on in and sit down, children. I'm sure all that running around has made you tired."
 * "I'll be here if you need me."
 * "Well! Just look at those sums those Kremlings have done. Disgraceful!"
 * "Come back if you've got any problems now."
 * "I hope you're better behaved than those reptiles. Why, I even caught one sharpening his sword in class yesterday!"