The 'Shroom:Issue LXX/Fake News

Fake News

Editorial
Hey guys, and welcome to the first Fake News of 2013! First, I'd like to congratulate whoever won the election, and thank them for keeping me in the core staff.

Next, in terms of staff changes, unfortunately, was fired from writing the Police Blotter, after not submitting anything for three issues with no explanation. It's sad to see him go, but we've got another opening. Oh yeah, I should explain that - if you don't submit anything without good reason for three issues, you'll get fired. If you do give me a reason, I'll extend it to four, with the exception of sections that depend partially on other users (e.g. Ask Tucayo).

December's section of the month was Shop Scout by, with 26 votes! Runners-up were the Travel Guide by and Ask Tucayo by.

So, that's all for my editorial. Happy new year, and keep reading the Fake News...or else.

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Hey everybody, it's Pyro, and welcome back to some more Travel Guide! Last time, Gamefreak visited another place much more tasty - er, interesting than mine, so I ate his place and dug deep into Rock-Candy Mines! I tried to eat it, but they don't call it Rock-Candy for nothing.

This place was a very interesting hot spot for me, as it also had the genetically modified Fuzzies I mentioned last time. They just acted stupid. The main attraction of this place is the painfully hidden Star Coins and Secret Exits. I'd go in to detail, but GameXplain is for that.

After watching their "New Super Mario Bros. U - All Rock-Candy Mines Star Coins (30!) & Secret Exits Guide & Walkthrough" video and still failing to find the coins anyways, I checked out the popular Thrilling Spine Coaster. I didn't have to wait long enough, for the only other people there were either Spike Tops or dead. It was disturbing to watch some people drown in poison water while the Spike Tops said "hah hah!".

Shortly after, I paid a visit to Screwtop Tower, which was really a screwy place. The pun was so bad, I was electrocuted by Sumo Bros. thrice. I would've gotten scorched too, but I'm invincible to fire. Well, not really. Okay fine, I got scorched five times.

Next, I visited a really excited cliff. It was called "Walking Piranha Plants!". That is not a name. Anyways, I went there and was stalked by the Piranha Plants, Star Coins, corn, Ceiling Cat, Geodudes, and those creepy users who friend request me.

However, my visit was cut short by the fear of being getting fourth-degree burns in Roy's Conveyer Castle. They don't even exist and you can still get them!

So, see you next time, where I visit a painful place and wish incorrect use of the word "irony" could help me. See you next time, and don't friend request me! My talk page is strictly for MCD sending me the 'Shroom warning with the caption being incredibly witty.

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Hello! Welcome back to the next edition of Gamer Guide. Hosted by yours truly, Yoshi K.

This month had a title I found a little bizarre, as it was not something the Mario series usually breaks out with.

General Info: Name: Baby Mario and Luigi: Journey Through Space Console: 3DS

First of all, to pull off moves, you need Gravity Points (GP), you also have to use GP to move! Luckily, you can get coins, and trade your coins for GP.

The bosses were eh,... weird. The bosses that come before the final one are way too easy, but just when you think you can kinda lay back, the ridiculously hard final boss, Constellia, attacks you with who-knows-what.

The plot was the worst part, it was just kind of, Oh-my-god-Constellia-is-attacking-the-Mushroom-Kingdom-Mario-must-save-it-and-stop-Constellia. Uh, OK? Barely any of the bosses are even aligned with Constellia!

Why did I choose this game to review? To show you that not every game is picture-perfect. This gets a 6/10, not exactly a hot buy.

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Happy 2013, sports fans! With the new year, new stories come over the horizon, like the following.

With the lockout ending, hockey was once again in full swing. An 4-on-4 exhibition game was held for celebratory measures. The game took place between a team consisting of a Hammer Bro, Ice Bro, Boomerang Bro, and Sledge Bro. A Fire Bro intended to play, but was cut for unknown reasons. The team was dubbed the “Bro Team”. Real original, eh? The opposing team was a group of Shy Guys, the team consisting of a red, yellow, green and purple one. The Masked Marauders, as they called themselves, won the opening face-off. Yellow Shy Guy skated through defenders, and was wide open for a shot. However, his accuracy was crappy less than ideal, missing the net by a good three feet to the left. The puck was recovered by Ice Bro of the Bro Team, and passed down deep into the Marauders’ territory. However, there’s this thing in hockey called “icing” that was called on the Bro Team. Thus, the Marauders got to start inside Bro Team territory. Unfortunately, the opportunity was wasted because Yellow Shy Guy took his second shot of the game. The shot went at such a high speed that it shattered the glass and hit a spectator. The spectator was hospitalized immediately. Back on topic now, the game was like this for the remaining 14 minutes of the 1st period. Yellow Shy Guy took another shot, this time more accurate – it came within 3 feet of the goal. Said player was benched and replaced with a Blue Shy Guy. The game was scoreless at the first intermission.

The second period of hockey action started much like the first period – quiet, scoreless. Hammer Bro finally was able to score a goal for his team, the goal coming from the left side of the rink with 13:37 to go in the second period. The rest of the period was pretty quiet, except for at one point with around 9 minutes in the period. Blue Shy Guy hit Ice Bro in the face with a shot that would have made it in had it not been for Ice Bro. Blue Shy Guy was strangled by Ice Bro, resulting in a power play for the Masked Marauders – 5 minute major for fighting was issued to the Bro Team. With one hundredth of a second remaining on the power play, Green Shy Guy tied the game at one with a very fast shot. The score remained the same throughout the second period.

Period number three started with the score at 1-1. No one knew what the Bro Team changed, but it worked. Within the first ten seconds of the period, Boomerang Bro scored a go-ahead goal. It was no more than two minutes later when Ice Bro put up a goal. With 18 minutes in regulation, the tally was 3-1 Bro Team. The only upside for the Shy Guys in the first half of the third period was that they only allowed 5 goals. Trying to stay optimistic, the team captain stated “at least we didn’t give up 6”. A timeout was called by the Marauders. The timeout apparently did not help, as the Bro Team managed to put up 4 more goals. If its any consolation for the Marauders, they did score a goal – not that it helped. The final score was 10-2. Boomerang Bro of the Bro Team ended out being MVP, with 5 goals. Ice Bro was the only one of the Bro Team except the goalie (Sledge Bro) that didn’t have a hat trick (3 goals, for those who don’t know), with only 2 goals. The other 3 came from Hammer Bro. That’s all I have for this month. See you next time! McZaky29, over and out.

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HI, readers! I am your always-ethical whatever-my-rank-is-now, Tucayo, and welcome to Ask Tucayo! I hope everyone had fun during the holidays. And just a reminder to you all, if you forgot to send me my Christmas gift, there's still time to do so. I'll pretend it was under the tree the whole time and I just hadn't noticed it. But I don't get paid to ramble on with stuff you don't care about, so let's get to this month's questions.

Going with the festive mood, Bowser45 asks:


 * Mr. Jerky Tucky.
 * Do You do New Years Resolutions?If so what kind have you done?
 * Hello there. I will probably sound like the New Year's Grinch or something, but I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions. If you want to become a better person, just do so, don't wait until an arbitrary date comes around to change. I do have personal resolutions, but I make them whenever I feel I need to improve, not on a specific date.

Next we have Epic Nitwit, with an important question:


 * I'm not sure if someone has asked you this before, but what is your overall favorite video game?
 * Hmmm... I don't think I have been asked on this section before, so thanks for that question. I honestly can't tell you off the op of my head, this requires some thought, so hold on until the answer magically comes to me.








 * Got it. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, followed closely by Paper Mario and Super Mario World. I'm playing Fallout 3 right now, and I'm really liking it, so when I'm done with it it might join that list. Also, I need to play Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, I think it would also make that list. And my "story" with OoT is a curious one, or something like that. When I first saw the game back in the day, I thought it was boring. I lived with that idea for years, until I saw some "Best Video Games of All-Time" list on some website and saw OoT was at the top of the list. From there I decided to try it (on Virtual Console, since I couldn't get the N64 cartridge), and I didn't regret it. Right after finishing it I proceeded with Majora's Mask, which is also perfect. And, following the ambiguous Zelda timeline, I wanted to play Twilight Princess, but the disc I bought had some glitch that wouldn't let me get past the beginning of the game. Some say that was a blessing from the gods, but I will never know.

Marioman1213 is next, and he asks:


 * Why did you change your avatar, etc.(Well, besides the fact that Hobbes is awesome)
 * First of all, for those who don't know, we're talking about the Mario Boards, the wiki's forum. To further explain this, I was named Tucky the Snowman for the holidays, but since everyone was already getting rid of their holiday names, I decided to have mine changed to Hobbes, from the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip. The same uncle that introduced me to video games had the complete C&H collection, so I naturally went on and read them. I immediately loved them. I had wanted to be renamed to Hobbes for a while now, but only last month I got around to asking to be renamed. I really like that theme, so I'll most likely be keeping it for a while.

January is always a lazy month, but I will be waiting for your questions for the February issue! Just send them to me, and remember, you can virtually ask anything. Except that think you're thinking of, that's just sick. See you next month, BYE!