List of Super Paper Mario quotes

The following is a list of quotes from Super Paper Mario; they are listed alphabetically by character.

Bowser

 * "Bwah ha ha! Will I marry Peach? Are you kidding me? The answer's YESSSSSSSS!
 * ''"Bwa ha ha ha ha! "We're under attack!" You jokers are the best!"
 * ''"Hey who are those hairy guys in the back? We SHAVE around here, minions."
 * ''"Bah! Mario... AND Luigi?! How'd you get in here?...What? My front gate was open?! How many times have I told those idiots?! If you're the last in, LOCK THE GATE!"
 * "I'll tell you who doesn't make even a little bit of sense... Count Bleck!
 * "Enough! Release Princess Peach, right now! I'm on a schedule over here!
 * ''"MARIO! ...and Princess Peach?! Why do you ALWAYS have to do that. That's like the 1000th time you've shown up at my castle and screwed everything up!"
 * ''"No more sequels! It's gonna end right here, right now. ONCE AND FOR ALL!"
 * ''"But... But I'm Bowser! I'm grade-A, 100% prime-cut final boss! I'm going to take over the world any day now! No way am I helping Mario! He's always trashing my awesome plans."
 * ''"What'd you say? If the world ends, there's not gonna be any world for me to rule?"
 * ''"Don't get all cuddly with me, Mario."
 * ''"NO! I'M NOT SWEET!"
 * ''"Fine... C'mon. Let's get your stupid Precious Heart, or whatever you call it."
 * ''"Yeah! Anyone who wears a cape and a monocle is just begging for a beating."
 * ''"Trust me, any problem comes up, I'll stomp it into next week! I'll Bowserize it!"'
 * ''"Who are you supposed to be, Mr. Frilly Pants? You gonna tie me a balloon animal?"
 * ''"Bwahah! You're such an idiot! This place makes me stronger too!"
 * ''"Pbbtth! Wanna know how to thank me, bugface? Just stay outta my way, OK?"
 * ''"Oh YEAH! I can breathe! But now my nose itches! Man, I hate space!"
 * ''"Good gravy, you're ugly!"
 * ''"Space niblet! You OK?"
 * ''"Hrmm... Mr. L. What a nutjob."
 * ''"Huuuuurgh! Mt brain hurts! I can't keep up with plot points this complicated!"
 * ''"Count Bleck, Floro Sapiens, whatever. Stomping fools is my business! Point me out to a fool, and I'll stomp 'em! I don't even need a reason!"
 * ''"What am I, blind? Shut up."
 * ''"Hey O'Fatty! Take it easy! You're gonna blow out your beard, pal, seriosly."
 * ''"You need stomping. And I'm a Stomptologist."
 * ''"Man, what a crybaby."
 * ''"I've had egg-salad-sandwiches chunkier than this guy."
 * ''"You part of that idiot's crew? Get back and report to your boss, you lazy worm!"
 * ''"Oh, PLEASE! You know what you smell like, weirdo? FEAR. Stop crying and fight!"
 * ''"Whoa whoa WHOA! I don't fight veggies!"
 * ''"Think you can dent a shell as burly as THIS, pretty boy? Let those Cragnons go!"
 * ''"Hey! I'm not fat! I just got a big shell."
 * ''"Minions need to learn respect."
 * ''"That Mr. L freak is a total insano."
 * ''"Where am I?! And why do these jerks in shades keep jumping me?! And what's with the dark? And Peach isn't here... and I'm hungry! What did I do to deserve this?!"
 * ''"You wanna break up what me and Peach have going!"
 * ''"Dang! Why do I always lose?! What is WRONG with me?!"
 * ''"She's gotta be feeling lonely without her burly, awesome hubby at her side!"
 * ''"Hey, there's no shame in being smacked down by a huge, studly boss!"
 * ''"Hey, Super Stupid Bros.! Get the princess into the next room NOW!"
 * ''"Come on! Man up a little. You never give up this easy when you attack MY castle!"
 * ''"You believed in your prophecy, and we believed in mopping the floor with you!"

Count Bleck

 * ''"Bleh HEH HEH HEH BLECK!"
 * ''"Bleh heh heh heh heh... This pleases Count Bleck!"
 * ''"WHAT?! ... Spat Count Bleck in utter disbelief.
 * ''"Count Bleck does not care about any world! They are all meaningless."
 * ''"Count Bleck is the destroyer of worlds."

Dimentio

 * ''"So very nice to meet you... and your mustache!"
 * ''"I am Count Bleck's master of dimensions, the pleaser of crowds, I am...Dimentio!"
 * ''"Ciao!"
 * ''"And so I strike, like a sudden windstorm at a kindergarden picnic!"
 * ''"And so you've come to play, like late-sleeping toddlers!"
 * ''"You must be Bowser. I knew the moment I saw the flailing nubbins you call arms."
 * ''"And now, we must duel like two, glearing banjos on a moon-lit stoop!"
 * ''"Ah ha ha ha. And so we meet again, like two large, burly dinosaurs with indigestion!"
 * ''"Now remember kids: eat your vegetables to grow big!"
 * ''"So, you spit upon my offer? You have wasted my time. And for that, your game ends. I think I'll start with the green one. The shag upon his lip will make a fine trophy!"
 * ''"And so I strike, like a speeding dodgeball at an echong gymnasium!"
 * ''"I had you do all the sweaty labor for me."
 * ''"Count Bleck! You looked so tattered and pathetic, I nearly forgot about you!"

Flint Cragley

 * ''"Lesser Cragnons would weep softly."
 * ''"Suddenly... Out of the cave mists... mysterious, slavering creatures lurched into view!"
 * ''"Had the gods of adventure forsaken us?"
 * ''"Cragley Ho!"

Mimi

 * "Surprise! It's me, Mimi!
 * ''"Coins?! No one uses COINS anymore, you peasants! I SPIT on your coins!"
 * ''"You DUMMIES! The only reason I'm here is to GET in the way!"
 * ''"I'm not all soft n' cuddly like the count is."
 * ''"I like getting what I want, and I'll do whatever I have to to get it!"
 * ''"You're the one that's always having to get rescued by boys. THAT'S embarassing!"
 * ''"Boy, it sure would be sad if your boyfriends had to cry over spilled Peaches!"
 * ''"Gosh, I could follow your big smile anywhere, Count!"
 * ''"I got hired on by merlee as her maid for real this time!"

Luigi / Mr. L

 * "That's my bro, always bouncing back! Like me! I bounce too!" - Luigi
 * "I'm my bro's bro." - Luigi
 * "The G-Great Luigi, you say? A... A daring defender? ...Me? Then I've got no choice! Luigi must spring into action! My fans need me!" - Luigi
 * "Oh, me? Just one of Count Bleck's more promising minions. The Green Thunder... MR. L!" - Mr. L
 * "Just because you're in red doesn't mean you're strong. Have at you!" - Mr. L
 * "Ooh, the evil king of all charlatans! Do I look scared? Have at you!" - Mr. L
 * "Hey, Mr. Getsfoiledallthetimebytheredguywiththemustache! I'll foil your FACE!" - Mr. L
 * "I uh... got to go deflavorize the Brobot's uh... Flavorizer." - Mr. L
 * "Hey there, butterball!" - Mr. L
 * "Hey, King Incompetant! I'm gonna hatch an evil plan on your FACE! Have at you!" - Mr. L
 * "T-Toad?! What? What happened? Why are you so crazy?" - Luigi
 * "Everyone runs out of extra lives sometime." - Luigi
 * "Quiet, you big Bowser! We know you kidnapped Princess Peach! Now where'd you put her?!" - Luigi
 * "Looks like your pure heart thing got broken. I guess pure hearts can't handle the end of the world. Heh. Whatever, I'll swipe it just for kicks." - Mr. L

Luvbi

 * ''"I am sorry...that thou art so hairy."
 * ''"Pray, I would understand this! Is yon Peach the lady friend of Mario?"
 * ''"Oh, verily? But the damsel looms large in his regard, is this not so? A one-sided crush then, mayhap."
 * ''"Heareth me, princess of silly peaches?"

O'Chunks

 * ''"CHUNKS AWAY!"
 * ''"JUNIOR?! C'mere un' I'll introduce yeh to Fist Jr. an' his wee pal, Slappie!"
 * ''"A Stomptolo- 'EY! SHUT IT! Don't yeh go tryin' teh be wittier than me, yeh frog!"
 * ''"Maybe I misubderstood that weirdo..."
 * ''"YOU CRAZED LOON!"
 * ''"BRO-CCOLI! CAB-BAGE! AS-PARA-GUS!" - O'Chunks brainwashed into "O'Cabbage"
 * ''"Warrior rule # 1: "Never fight on an empty stomach! 'Tis Madness!""
 * ''"'Ow could yeh be chunkier than I? Yer naught but a bloomin' turtle!"
 * ''"Yer hands are quiverin' like a ladle of me mum's lard gravy."
 * ''"Ah; she lies like a wee rug, this lass!"

Princess Peach

 * ''"Ewwww, what WAS that?! What in the world did you just make me eat?!"
 * ''"Oh, what's the matter, little girl? Did I spank Mimi a little too hard?"
 * ''"You've been very, very bad, but I can't just leave you here to die."
 * ''"I fell through too, and landed right on Bowser! It was a surprisingly soft landing..."
 * ''"How lovely! The bells are giving their blessing to Tippi and Bleck..."

Squirps

 * ''"You're the ones looking for the Pure Heart, squirple? Hm! Cuter than I thought!"
 * ''"I... I have to go potty! I REALLY have to go, squirk! I can't hold it anymore!"
 * ''"At this rate, Squirps is going to have an accident."
 * ''"Why are you staring like that? Are you falling for Squirps?!"

Tippi

 * "Who are you REALLY, you incontinent little imp?"
 * "What a wretch."
 * "Why would you do this?! How COULD you do this?!"
 * "If the worlds have no meaning, does that mean OUR meeting was meaningless, as well! Answer me, Blumiere!
 * "Goodbye now, Dimentio we'll add a footnote to the prophecy about your failure."
 * "Pure Hearts are the very feelings of our souls."
 * "Nothing is decided intirely by fate, you know... All things determine their destinies."

Toad

 * ''"M-M-M-M-M-M-M-Mario! Help! It's Sh-sh-sh-sh-shocking... Mushroom Castle... RAIDED! Princess Peach... STOLEN!"
 * ''"We're counting on you, Mario...Bros.!"

Nastasia

 * ''"I'm just gonna pencil you in for a ten O' clock brain washing k."
 * ''"If...If I could have been that girl maybe things would be different."
 * ''"Yeah, I'm afraid you orders mean nothing anymore."
 * ''"WAH! Count you can't leave me!"

Bestovius

 * ''"You must be the great...hero impersonator!"
 * ''"Why should the hero have the whole world delivered to him on a platter."