List of Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest quotes

This is a list of quotes from the game Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest, applying to both the Super Nintendo Entertainment System and Game Boy Advance versions.

Story intro

 * "Well, well... What do you think you're doing siting around all day?"
 * "They won't get much of a game out of this, will they? I thought you were supposed to be a big star!"
 * "I didn't! Whisking off maidens and chucking barrels, seven days a week I was!"
 * "That's how I got where I am tody, you know. Hard word. There was none of this lazin' around on a beach!"
 * "Hah! He's off somewhere with that girlfriend of his. But still, I can see when I'm not wanted..."


 * "Look, a note!"
 * "Give me a chance! I'm not as quick as I used to be. It says:"


 * "Well, I suppose we'd better give him the bananas. Hadn't we?"
 * "Arrrrgh! This story's even worse that Donkey Kong Country's."
 * "They're really scraping the bottom of the barrel this time!"
 * "Have you any ideas how to get DK back?"
 * "I'm sure as spit not gonna do it, not that I'm past my prime, mind you."
 * "I could still do a better job than the rest of you put together."
 * "But I wouldn't be seen dead in a game that scrolls and has bonus levels and end bosses!"
 * "We will meet you there. Come and see us if you need any help!"

Entering his museum

 * "Say hello to your old grandpappy Cranky. I'm back by popular demand to offer my wealth of gameplay wisdom for this unnecessary sequel."


 * "What sort of name is Dixie anyway? In my day, you were lucky to have a name ot all!"
 * "I'd sort out old K. Rool for you real quick, but I'd be spoiling the limited fun you're trying to get out of this shoddy product!"
 * "I don't even get two screens to stand in! I'm sure K. Rool will have two, so why can't I? Pah!"
 * "Look at all this junk in here! Treat my home like a trash can they do! No respect for their elders, that's the trouble..."
 * "Haven't sold a single thing in weeks! If this junk was out of one of my games, the customers would be begging to get in!"
 * "Where's Expresso? A clumsy spider and a fat parrot, is that the best they can think of?"
 * "Girl heroes in video games, pah. I can't believe it! The main character should be really muscle-bound and carry a gun, not twirl their hair round!"
 * "Need more help do we? Pah! If tell you much more, I might as wall play the game for you!"
 * "Don't you ever knock? I know you're desperate for help, but remember your manners next time!"
 * "I knew it! You've come to beg for my help again, haven't you! Well, I'm not going to tell you anything this time!"
 * "Come on in! Have yourselves a look 'round and buy some of this trash, why don't you?"
 * "I'll box your ears if you don't listen this time!"
 * "Back so soon? I thought you'd complete at least another level before you came crying to me!"
 * "See, you're back again! Evebody like old Cranky. I bet my ugly, old wife doesn't get half as many visits!"
 * "You think your fancy graphics and sound will work again! I think not. You'll be lucky to sell 10 copies this time!"
 * "Have you been to see the other members of the Kong family? They're not as useful as me of course, but they might be able to help."
 * "You're looking a bit fat there, kid! Look at me, I'm at my physical peak. I could show you a thing or two!"
 * "Oh, it's you again. I thought it might be a real video game hero..."
 * "K. Rool is gonna whup your hides this time, whippersnappers! I'd better take over before you embarrass yourselves!"
 * "For just five bucks, you can buy my memoirs. What a dynamic and exciting life I've led. You'll be lucky to star in half as many games as I been."
 * "Shouldn't Dixie just be a token female princess waiting to be rescued, instead of a main character?"
 * "Team up? I've never heard such rubbish in my life! When I played, I was on my own. I had no fancy backup!"
 * "I hate being stuck in this shabby barrel. I want to sit outside like last time!"
 * "Give up now before the kids realize you're not as popular as Donkey Kong was!"
 * "Just 'cos DKC sold few lousy copies, I have to be included in another ludicrous adventure! It's the last time, I tell you!"
 * "I'd have collected far more tokens than that by now! What's wrong, got holes in your pockets?"
 * "Diddy, I thought you were a cheap character in DKC, but Dixie's even worse! It should be me on my own, that it should!"
 * "Surprise, surprise. Well if it isn't the so called video game heroes! I hope I'm getting paid for all my help!"
 * "Howdy, young 'uns! Gather round and I'll give you some much needed advice!"
 * "You spend as much time in here as I do!"
 * "Look! They've even taken my chair from me. It's disgusting how they treat old video game heroes these days..."
 * "After my starring role in DKC, I thought I'd be the main character this time, not stuck in this gloomy shed!"
 * "I bet this here Killer Instinct game is rubbish too! It hasn't got me in it, so it must be!"
 * "I was hoping for more frames this time, but no! Don't let old Cranky do anything. Just give him some third rate stand frames!"
 * "I don't know why I help you so much. you don't appreciate me!"


 * "O.K., which of these would you like?"
 * "Take a look at this lot!"
 * "Here's a fraction of my enviable knowledge!"
 * "Go ahead, test my amazing knowledge!"
 * "I can recommend the really expensive ones, actually."
 * "Enough talk, let's see your tokens!"
 * "Pick a subject! I know everything about this game!"
 * "I reckon you should spend all your tokens here."
 * "Gaze in awe, as you appreciate my knowledge!"
 * "Feast yer eyes on my menu!"
 * "What do you want this time?"
 * "This stuff is cheap at half the price!"
 * "Here's what I've got to offer."

No coins

 * "You must be joking! You'l never have enough for that!"
 * "It's not a charity! I want more tokens for this!"
 * "Find some more tokens, you useless monkey!"
 * "You'll have to play better to buy that, sonny!"
 * "You'd better stick to the free ones, whippersnapper."
 * "Not enough? Well, get lost then."
 * "Hey! If you ain't got any tokens, you can buzz off!"
 * "That's not enough. I've got ney frames to pay for y'know!"
 * "Keep yer grubby hands off if you can't afford it!"
 * "My knowledge doesn't come that cheap!"
 * "You ain't got enough tokens for that, cheapskate!"
 * "I'm not giving this stuff away you know!"
 * "That one is too good for you."

Leaving the museum

 * "That's enough help for now. I need some rest."
 * "Now, go and sort out those stupid crocodiles!"
 * "I gotta go now, my wife is visiting any moment!"
 * "Yawn! I'm getting tired. Go away and don't disturb me again!"
 * "Now, buzz off and let me work on my new game design."
 * "Guess I'd better tidy this miserable dump up a bit."
 * "It should be real easy for you now!"
 * "I'm off to spend my tokens!"
 * "When you need more advice, which you will, I might help again, if you're lucky."
 * "Don't be surprised if I'm gone next time. I'll be in a real game!"
 * "Time for a couple of games on this here Killer Instinct."
 * "Even you can finish this silly game now!"
 * "Remember, I'm the most useful of the Kongs, and the cheapest!"
 * "Don't come back without a sackful of tokens!"

First victory

 * "I knew you'd do it, Diddy m'boy, but how could you fail having learned all you know from old Cranky here?"
 * "Well done, Diddy, m'boy! Who'd have known you'd be able to rescue that lazy grandson of mine and dump K. Rool in his own filthy swamp? Not bad for a novice! Of course, if I'd have been playing, I'd have made sure that K. Rool never tries a cheap trick like this again!"
 * "I reckon I'd found all the Kremkoins and completed the so called 'Lost World'. Oh well, can't expect everything from our first game, can we?"
 * "One more thing, how many of my special Video Game Hero Coins did you find? A real player, such as myself, would have found plent I'm sure."
 * "Let's see how well you did, eh?"


 * "Well, I've got a second screen, and it's about time too. Now, shut up everyone while I read the eagarly awaited results of my prestigious Video Game Hero Awards...."
 * "Hmmm... Not too good at finding my coins, are you, sonny? You might be a hero, but you've got a lot of catching up to do, yes siree!"
 * "If you want to look at your limited progress on this screen, press the left and right buttons while you are on any of the map screens."
 * "Now buzz off and see if you can find some more of my coins, which I very much doubt you will."


 * "Hey! What are you waiting for? There's no secret stuff hidden here, sonny!"
 * "There is, however, a couple of special options on the game selection screen though I'm sure they're of little use."
 * "To find these silly options, press down lots of times, but if I were you, I wouldn't bother."
 * "Now, go ahead and switch that cartridge off, so I could get some sleep! I reckon I've earned it!"

Lost World

 * "Well, well, well, if it isn't our trainee hero! I didn't expect you to find this place, sonny. You must have got luck. Now that you're here, I'd better tell you about it."
 * "This here's the Kremling's 'LOST WORLD', and that big crocodile head in the middle is where you need to get to if you're going to finish this silly game properly."
 * "But to get there, you have to beat Kaptain K. Rool and complete all the bonus levels as well, a task I'm sure is well beyond a whippersnapper like you!"
 * "I don't know why I'm doing this, but here are some ridiculous cheap hints for this world, which I'm sure you'll be needing as well."

Last victory

 * "N-n-nice going k-kid! I-I reckon only a t-t-true video g-game hero would h-have f-f-finished it all!"
 * "L-let's get out of t-this miserable d-dump, and g-get back t-t-to D-Donkey K-K-Kong Island!"


 * "Back to see me again, eh, sonny? Let's see if you've improved your hero status, shall we?"
 * "I'm not afraid to admit it, Diddy m'boy. Even I'm wrong occasionally. You're as big a hero as they come. You must take after me and Donkey. Well Done!"

Diddy Kong

 * "Read it, then!"
 * "After all we did to get them back last time?"
 * "DK would go crazy if he lost his hoard again!"
 * "No, we must go now. Enguarde will take us."

Dixie Kong

 * "Hurry, Cranky, what does it say?"
 * "Let's go over to Crocodile Isle and rescue DK."

Donkey Kong

 * "Even video game heroes get time off."
 * "Why don't you go pester Diddy or something!? Just leave me in peace for once!"

Funky Kong

 * "Lookin' good, dudes! I'm Funky the main monkey, and my new Funky's Flights can take you anywhere on Crocodile Ilse, provided you've already checked it out of course!"
 * "Cruise on over to the barrel man, and ride the skies!"
 * "Come jump into my jet 'n' jive, Clive!"
 * "Cool! She's all yours dudes. Catch y' later!"
 * "Go get that K. Rool, he just ain't cool!"
 * "Awesome playing, Kongs! Go get that K. Rool. He just ain't cool!"
 * "Everything is cool guys. You're lookin' ready to ride and catch some clouds!"
 * "Drop in on the other Kongs, dudes. We're all here to help you guys!"
 * "All flights cleared, dudes. Choose and cruise!"
 * "Check me out again, huh?"
 * "Catch y' later, dudes!"
 * "Wicked! She's all tuned up and ready to go!"
 * "Way cool! Pick a flight and you're outta sight!"
 * "Pick it and kick it, Kongs. You're A-Okay!"
 * "Remember, Funky's the Monkey!"
 * "I fly 24 hours y'know!"
 * "Take it easy, Kongs!"
 * "Call again, good buddies!"
 * "Stay loose, guys!"
 * "Not enough, man! I got a new surfboard to pay for!"
 * "Aw no! Looks like you're gonna need to score some more to tour!"
 * "Tough break, Kongs. She's too cool for your pocket!"
 * "Sorry, dudes. That one costs more to run than you've got!"
 * "What a bummer, eh? Try to find a few more tokens, y' know!"
 * "Uncool! That's costly crusin' and you ain't in the picture guys!"

Prologue

 * "I'll make sure DK never messes up my plans again."
 * "You lot, go down to DK Island and bring that pesky primate to me."
 * "You are never going to see your friends or DK Island again. Awha ha ha!"

Message

 * "I've kidnapped that lumbering fool Donkey Kong and you will never see him again! Har-har-har-har-har!" (SNES)
 * "Hah-arrrrh! We have got the big monkey! If you want him back, you scurvy dogs, you have to hand over the banana hoard!" (GBA)

Calling Kerozene

 * "You didn't think it would be that easy, did you? Now, let's see how you fare against Kerozene!"

First defeat

 * "You Kongs think you are so clever, don't you?"
 * "Come to my lair in the Lost World if you think you can really beat me!"

Last defeat

 * "I'll get you yet, you stupid monkeys."
 * "Next time there will be no stopping me. Awha ha ha!"
 * "Blast you pesky apes! I'll get you next time!"

Klubba

 * "A-harrrr! 'Tis the flea ridden gorillas again! Pay the toll, or ye'll suffer a plenty, I promise ye!"
 * "It's twenty lashes wi' the cat o' nine tails for ye if I don't get me booty this time, y' filthy apes!"
 * "Avast there! Touch me horde o' gold 'ere, an' I'll slice ye in two!"
 * "Scurvy chimps ahoy! C'mon ye yellowbellies. Try an' cross Klubba's bridge without payin'. I dare ye!"
 * "Shiver me timbers! Where's me loot? Cos if I don't get none, ye don't cross over, mateys!"
 * "Splice me mainbrace, it's the monkeys! I hope yers got enough booty this time, or ye'll walk the plank!"
 * "I'll wrap me club around yer moth eaten heads if yer don't pay every last one!"
 * "Stop right there ye scummy swabs! Step on me toll bridge an' I'll throw ye overboard!"
 * "Har! Har! Har! Y'must be jokin' if I'm gonna let ye across fer that lousy loot!"
 * "What's wrong with ye? Our bonus rooms must be too hard for y' flea bitten chimps t' find."
 * "Try that again an' it's Davy Jones's locker f' ye! A-harrh!"
 * "Ahoy there me monkey mateys! Fare ye well on this fine day!"
 * "Kap'n K. Rool treats us rotten. I hope yer scupper his plans!"
 * "If yers get into any trouble, Klubba 'ere will 'elp ye out!"
 * "Step this way, friends! I've polished the bridge just for ye!"
 * "Feel free t' use me barrel when ye like, mateys!"
 * "Over here, Kongs! The Kremling 'Lost World' awaits ye!"
 * "That's not enough, y' banana-scoffing, scummy landlubbers!"
 * "Get lost and fetch me lots more treasure, y' scurvy dogs!"
 * "Ye'll 'ave t' find me more 'n that to pass!"
 * "Come back and face me, yellow bellied dogs!"
 * "Ye'll taste me club if ye don't get some more!"
 * "Let's see yer dubloons, ye mangy apes!"
 * "I'll be waiting right 'ere, y' flea bitten monkeys!"
 * "You'll never beat us Kremlings this time!"
 * "Come back when you want a beating. Har! Har!"
 * "Beat it, y' mangy apes!"
 * "Get lost, landlubbers!"
 * "Don't come back, y' scurvy dogs!"
 * "I hope I never see you again!"

Swanky Kong

 * "Give them a big hand, folks! Good evening, I'm Swanky Kong, and you're tonight's contestants on my bonanza! It's easy to play! Just pick a game and you're away!" (SNES version)
 * "Give them a big hand, folks!" (GBA version)
 * "Good evening, I'm Swanky Kong, and you're tonight's contestants on my bonanza!" (GBA version)
 * "It's easy to play! Use ← and → on the to pick a barrel, then press the  Button to begin the game." (GBA version)
 * "You will then be asked a series of questions. Use the to move Left and Right between the stars on the ground. Once you are on the correct star, press the  Button to activate that star." (GBA version)
 * "Welcome back! You've joined us as the Kongs are about to choose their game. No help from the audience, please."
 * "Step right up! It's your lucky day, here on my Bonus Bonanza! I know you're gonna win the Big One!"
 * "What do you do for a living? Video game heroes you say? Well, that's great! Hit the button and let's play!"
 * "Don't be nervous. We all want you to win, don't we folks? That's right, they're all behind you!"
 * "Right this way! I've got three wonderful games just for you! Take your time and make your choice!"
 * "It's great to see you back! I wish you could win everything. I really do!"
 * "Hi there, Kongs! I've got some amazing star prizes just waiting to be won!"
 * "Come on, let's have a round of applause for them!"
 * "Good answer! Here we go again..."
 * "That's correct! Here's the next one..."
 * "Yessss! Let's play on..."
 * "O.K., try this one..."
 * "I knew you'd win this time!"
 * "Alright folks, didn't they do well!"
 * "That's what I'm looking for! Next one, please..."
 * "Alright! Onto the next round..."
 * ''"You clever little monkey! Now, listen carefully...
 * "Well done! You got them all right!"
 * "Well played, you got them all correct!"
 * "Well played! You deserve this!"
 * "We have a winner here tonight!"
 * "I'll have even better prizes next time!"
 * "You've been great contestants!"
 * "Didn't they do well!"
 * "If you fancy a game, you know my name!"
 * "Everyone is a winner here!"
 * "I hope we'll see you back next week!"
 * "See you next week!"
 * "Until the next time, here on Swanky's Bonus Bonanza!"
 * "Good try, but that's wrong."
 * "I can't believe how stupid you... er, I mean, hard luck."
 * "Close, but not close enough I'm afraid."
 * "Sorry, that's not what I'm looking for"
 * "Awww... I'm afraid that's not correct."
 * "Oh no....I thought you'd know that!"
 * "I'm sorry, but that's not the answer I've got here."
 * "Too bad, I really wanted you to play that game."
 * "Hard luck folks, you haven't got enough to play that game."
 * "Awww, that's a real shame. You must collect some more."
 * "Go and fetch some more tokens and come back next week."
 * "Not enough I'm afraid. Y' know what tokens make? Prizes!"
 * "I'm really sorry, but you need more tokens."

Story intro

 * "I thought we'd seen the last of that old rascal."

First meeting

 * "Hello, dearies. I'm Mrs. Wrinkly Kong, headmistress here at Kong Kollege."
 * "I'm available to teach courses on how to play this game, or you can just pop in when you want to save your little old game. Now then, how can I help you?" (SNES version)
 * "I'm available to teach courses on how to play this game." (GBA version)
 * "Use ↑ and ↓ on the between the options on my menu." (GBA version)
 * "Now then, how can I help you?" (GBA version)

Entering her college

 * "Well! Just look at those sums those Kremlings have done. Disgraceful!"
 * "Come on in and sit down, children. I'm sure all that running around has made you tired."
 * "When you see Kaptain K. Rool, can you ask him if he has done his homework?"
 * "Have you been to see my husband Cranky? He complains a little, but he does know everything about this island."
 * "You're looking a little weary dear. Would you like to save your game?"
 * "I hope you're better behaved than those reptiles. Why, I even caught one sharpening his sword in class yesterday!"
 * "Hurry along! School is nearly finished! You need to study a little more if you're going to beat the Kremlings!"
 * "Those nasty Kremlings must have all the tokens! Go and grab some and come back later."
 * "Those naughty crocodiles! All they want to learn is how to fight and squash monkeys, Tsk!"
 * "All but one of my lessons are useful in your quest."
 * "Make sure you have plenty of lives!!"

Homework

 * "You want a homework project, do you? You are good children. Well, I have the very thing."
 * "Here, take this empty book. I want you to fill it with pictures of all the strange creatures you encounter."
 * "How do you get the pictures? Well, it is simple. Just look out for any bad guys with a camera above their heads."
 * "When you defeat them, you will be awarded a picture. I have heard there are also a few cameras lying around on the levels, just waiting to be picked up."
 * "For each page you fill with pictures, I will give you one of these strange Hero Coins that my husband left lying around."
 * "You haven't got enough pictures to fill a page yet. Come back when you have gained more pictures."

No coins

 * "My, that is a lot isn't it? Try to find some more tokens."
 * "Oh dearie me! That's not quite enough, is it?"
 * "Oh dear, I'm fraid you'll need a few more fo that."
 * "Education is not chap these days. I'm sure you'll find a few more tokens if you look!"
 * "Those nasty Kremlings must have all the tokens! Go and grab some and come back later."
 * "Sorry dear, but I've got to pay for a new blackboard."

Leaving the college

 * "Don't be a stranger now."
 * "Try to make it to my next class."
 * "Come back if you've got any problems now."
 * "Goodbye, dearies."
 * "Good luck, children."
 * "Take care, dearies."
 * "I'll be here if you need me."
 * "Be careful now, Kongs."