User:Ralphfan

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Welcome
Hi. I'm ralphfan, as you might've guessed. I live near San Francisco, which is kinda sucky because it's always cold and foggy there. Good thing is we have a bazillion major sports.

Thanks to for visiting this COMPLETELY AWESOME wiki. You can post your comments about anything on my talk page.

MY USERBOX TOWER ROCKS! P.S.: It's to the right of this. Click here to go to the official Ultra Bowl page and click this to check on the Star Cup!

My Mario Kart Wii License
Click the following link to level up my license! http://www.mubos-md.com/licensemaker/levelup.php?23328 http://www.mubos-md.com/licensemaker/z0r3v25y.png

General
I edit spelling and other grammatical errors for the most part. Click here for my edit count. I also vote on proposals and read The 'Shroom. I also make awesome userboxes and have the world's most amazing userbox tower WHICH YOU MUST READ!


 * I am part of the Planet Descriptions PipeProject.

Miscellaneous

 * Join the Wiki (I did so on November 13, 2008 at 5:01 pm)
 * Never retire!
 * Create a "User Hall of Fame" sub-page
 * You can't request sysophood or patroller stuff, so so much for that (hey, there are two "so"'s there!)

Edit-related

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Creations

 * Start 1 article (Button Masher)
 * Start 10 articles
 * Start 20 articles
 * Start 30 articles
 * Start 40 articles
 * Start 50 articles

Deletions

 * Delete 1 article
 * Delete 2 articles
 * Delete 5 aricles
 * Delete 10 articles
 * Delete 20 articles
 * Delete 30 articles
 * Delete 40 articles
 * Delete 50 articles

(There's more (in multiple categories), but I'm not gonna bother writing it now)

Stuff I like

 * "Weird Al" Yankovic
 * Baltimore Ravens (favorite players are Ed Reed and Joe Flacco)
 * Oakland A's (favorite player is Brad Ziegler)
 * San Jose Sharks (favorite player is Patrick Marleau)
 * University of Maryland
 * UC Berkley
 * "Enter Sandman" by Metallica
 * The Simpsons
 * Ralph Wiggum (why I'm Ralphfan
 * SpongeBob SquarePants
 * All sports (except soccer (excluding the World Cup), synchronized swimming, and rythmic gymnastics, which AREN'T EVEN SPORTS)
 * Harry Potter
 * Quidditch
 * A Series of Unfortunate Events

Stuff I hate

 * High School Musical (and anyone or anything from it)
 * The Disney Channel
 * Indianapolis Colts
 * Washington Redskins
 * Duke University
 * Stanford University
 * Global Warming (It's a #*@$ing myth!)
 * (This one is kinda long) The lamea** polls on the Everybody Votes Channel. I submit one about if Obama will help the economy, but they but up these f***in' stupid polls like "You spilled juice on the floor.  Would you mop it up with a washcloth or a paper towel?"  May I ask, "Who gives a f***in' s***?"

'''GAME RATINGS!
Huge thanks to Dom for helping me with the table!

Really Funny Stuff (all real, you can't make this up)
If more funny things happen (which they are bound to), you'll know.
 * 1) I thought things like Viagra made guys talk normal without freaking out when they were talkin' to girls on a date.
 * 2) I once called Notre Dame (the college) Notre State.
 * 3) My brother was using his watch to make sure he didn't stay on the can for years (yes, I mean years). He, for some reason, decided to take it off, and it fell in!  (It survived and is now clean.)
 * 4) A guy found some nail polish and was goofing around with it at the start of math one day. He spilled some and had to go through the rest of they day with a purple spot on his crotch!
 * 5) Click here for crap people actually put into articles. Before revising crappy articles, put the worst of it here.  The first one I entered is here.  Click here for the second.  But wait!  There's more!  No, that's not all!  Click here (yes, this!) to see the third!  And a fourth!  It can be found here!
 * 6) In Italian class, a guy meant to say "oggi" (which means today) and he said "orgy"! FUNNY LAWS BELOW!
 * 7) In Switzerland, a guy can't use the can standing up after 10 P.M.
 * 8) In Australia, it is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burglar.
 * 9) It is an offense for women of "ill repute or evil looks" to enter a cheese factory in Italy's area of Ferrara.
 * 10) In France, between the hours of 8AM and 8PM, 70% of the music in the radio must be by French composers.
 * 11) In Scotland, it is illegal to be drunk while in possession of a cow.
 * 12) In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to do it with animals -- so long as the animals are female. It is illegal to have do it with a male animal, however.
 * 13) In Thailand, it is illegal to leave your house if you are not wearing underwear.
 * 14) In China, women are prohibited from walking around a hotel room in the nude; a woman may only be naked while in the bathroom.
 * 15) In Hong Kong, a woman is legally allowed to kill her cheating husband -- but only if she uses her bare hands. The husband's lover, however, may be killed in any manner desired.
 * 16) It is illegal in Antibes to take photos of police officers or police vehicles, even if they are just in the background. NORMAL STUFF CONTINUES HERE.
 * 17) My brother tried to say Super Smash Bros. Melee and said Super Smash Bros. Mealy!
 * 18) In Italian class once, during a dialogue (that was being filmed and graded), a girl meant to say "Che ore sono?" (what time is it) and said "What time is it?"
 * 19) All the girls one of my friends has ever liked all have one thing in common: tons and tons of arm hair. It's crazy!
 * 20) In Florida, a woman called 911 three times because McDonald's ran out of McNuggets and didn't give her a refund for them. '''On Nick they used to have a show, similar to SNL (Saturday Night Live), called "All That". "All That" had a segment called "VITAL INFORMATION FOR YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE".  The following is a sample of it:
 * 21) If you're afraid of spiders, then you have arachnophobia. Now if you're 'fraid of breathin', you got about four minutes to live.
 * 22) If you're having trouble with you're homework, don't go up to your teacher and say, "This homework is too hard! Now gimme a big wet kiss!"
 * 23) It's good to invent a new soup called "Tasty Chicken-Barley". It's bad to invent a new soup called "Broken Glass Chowder".
 * 24) You should always brush your teeth three times a day. You should never fill your pants with infected fish.
 * 25) If you're afraid your grandmother might get stolen, stick an alarm up her dress and chain her to the fence!
 * 26) Next time you're feeling sick, take a piece of ham and rub it all over your body. You won't feel any better, but, hey, you'll smell like ham!
 * 27) If you're on a first date, it's bad to say, "So, what's the biggest loogie you've ever hocked up?"
 * 28) Breaking up is hard to do. Breaking a dozen eggs with a sledgehammer...pff [sic]...is fun!
 * 29) It's easy to milk a cow. It's weird to milk a toothless hippie named Maurice.
 * 30) When it rains, it pours. When there's a nail in your eye, you go, "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
 * 31) If you see someone drowning, it is not considered polite to try to throw popcorn in their mouth.
 * 32) There are 16 ounces in a pound. There are 38 sheep in my pants.
 * 33) If your name Steven, and you have a turkey named Steffin', then come Thanksgiving you'll be Steven stuffin' Steffin'!
 * 34) It's rude to talk with your mouth full. It's even ruder to talk with your mouth full of baby squirrels.
 * 35) A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. A bird in your pants can be very uncomfortable.
 * 36) It's not nice to push your friend Billy of the roof and then yell, "Look, Manynard! It's rainin' Billy!"
 * 37) When it rains, it pours. When it snows, it's cold.
 * 38) If your teacher gives you an F, it's worng to say, "Well, what'd you expect, moron? I didn't study!"
 * 39) If your grandmother gives you a pretty new sweater, it's rude to thank her by wrapping the sweater around her face and squeezing 'till she turns blue.
 * 40) You are what you eat. I'm thirteen tacos and a stick of butter.
 * 41) It's rude to walk into a forest and yell out, "HEY! YOU TREES ARE A BUNCH OF MORONS, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?  IF YOU WANNA DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, JUST COME OVER HERE AND KICK ME!"
 * 42) If you count to seventeen on one hand, then good luck finding gloves, you seventeen-fingered freak!
 * 43) If an adult asks you what you wanna be when you grow up, it's not nice to say, "Well I wanna be a great big loser! Just like you!"
 * 44) Never judge a book by its cover. Judge it by the noise it makes when it hits your Uncle Benny on the booty!
 * 45) Revenge is sweet. Not as sweet as 10 POUNDS OF SUGAR!
 * 46) If yo' mama has a lot of hair on her chest and a really deep voice, then yo' mama's a dude!
 * 47) If yo' dad has a really high voice and wears dresses, then yo' dad's a chick!
 * 48) Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.  And I laughed my butt off!
 * 49) If your bra is too tight, it's uncomfortable. If you're a boy and you're bra is too tight, I'm uncomfortable.
 * 50) If there was an animal called a yabba-dabba, and you kept one in your backyard, then you might accidentally step in yabba-dabbba doo.
 * 51) One potato, two potato, three potato, four; I rode a bike without a seat and now my butt is sore.
 * 52) A penny saved is a penny earned, and a penny earned will buy you absolutely nothing.
 * 53) It's to stop and smell flowers. It's bad to stop and smell this old burrito.
 * 54) If you jump out of a plane and your parachute doesn't open...BYE BYE!
 * 55) It's fun to take a hot bubble bath. It' no fun to dance with "Hot Bubble" McGee.
 * 56) When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When a truck runs over your foot, go, "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
 * 57) You say. "tomato." I say, "tomahto."  You say, "potato."  I say, "Look at us!  We're two idiots talkin' about vegetables!
 * 58) If you're the President of the United States, then you know what? You need to get off YouTube and fix our country! (I got that one off YouTube.)
 * 59) When you're reading a book, don't skip the even-numbered pages and say, "Man, this book's so odd."
 * 60) Monkey see, monkey do. Monkey don't see, monkey step in doo.
 * 61) If your first name is Willy, your middle name is Wally, and your last name is Woo, then congratulations, your name is Willy Wally Woo.
 * 62) When you fall in a toilet, it's best not to start swimming and say, "Look! I'm a toilet fish!"
 * 63) When you see an old lady, it's not nice to say, "How long have you been sittin' in a pool? Or is your face always that wrinkled?
 * 64) The cow says moo. The duck says quack. The crazy person says, "BWAAHHH!"
 * 65) If you get all F's on your report card, don't fell bad. It's not your fault you're stupid.
 * 66) Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary had a little lamb and a side of mashed potatoes.
 * 67) Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. No one cared.
 * 68) They say that the early bird gets the worm. Well, fine.  I don't want the early bird anyway.
 * 69) Eenie meenie minee moe. Catch a tiger by his toe.  If he hollers, let him go before the tiger kills you.
 * 70) Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony. Stuck a feather in his hat, and realized he had ruined a perfectly good hat.
 * 71) If you flush your friend down the toilet, either you have a really big toilet or a teeny tiny friend.
 * 72) When you invite your teacher over for dinner, don't say, "My parents have always wanted to meet the world's biggest idiot."
 * 73) A clean closet is probably full of socks. A dirty closet is probably full of baboons.

Really Important Stuff
(This will change depending on time of year)


 * Remember Dr. King. He had a dream, it's up to all of us to make it come true.
 * Help revive the economy. How?  Spend money so big companies don't have to lay off employees.

Feedback
Post your feedback on my talk page.

Sprites
I'm looking for Baby Luigi, Baby Mario, and Bowser Jr. sprites for my signature. Let me know if you have or see any of them.

Help for n00bs
I once was a n00b, so here's some help for you if you're one of them.

L33ts
Click here to see me being decal deca  decale (ay caramba!) declared (finally!) a l33t.  You are a l33t if you are not a n00b or just experienced or the opposite of a n00b or...you should get te the idea...unless you're a n00b...D'oh!

Countdowns to...
Remember these times are all approximate.

My Actual Birthday!
My birthday is in July 14 2009 13:56:00 PST.

My WikiBirthday!
My wikibirthday is in November 13 2009 17:01:00 PST.

The Next Sharks Game
The next Sharks game is in October 8 2009 19:37:00 PST.

The Next Cal Game
The next Cal game is in September 5 2009 15:07:00 PST.

The Next Maryland Game
The next Maryland game is in September 5 2009 15:07:00 PST.

The Next A's Game
The next A's game is in May 20 2009 16:08:00 PST.

The Next Ravens Game
The next Ravens game is in September 6 2009 10:03:00 PST.

Closing Statement
'''"I AM el t0rtug0, MASTER OF THE 12-MINUTE MILE!"