The 'Shroom:Issue 165/'Shroomfest

'Shroomfest Written by:, , and Art by:

THE 'SHROOM: A SHROOBIFIED CONQUEST

'Shroom Research Lab: ''Hello, dear readers! Welcome to the latest report from your 'Shroom Research Lab. During our studies concerning the newspaper from a distant time, we discovered what had happened following the disappearance of the Statistics Manager of the time, thanks to a letter written by one of the member of The 'Shroom back then. It was with horror that we found out that the Statistics Manager had launched an attack against The 'Shroom. Please, take a look!''

'Ugh! 2020 couldn't get any worse...'

My dear beloved,

I am writing to you right now from the basement of an abandoned building's basement near the 'Shroom office, one with a disgusting rotten smell, to tell you that with regret that I will not be with you for the holiday celebrations. I'm going to explain the reasons why I won't be with all of you, but it's very likely that you won't believe me, because these are such wacky reasons, but trust me, it's the truth.

Do you remember my last letter about our wonderful experience at Moo Moo Farm, which lead to Team Pig's victory? Well, not even a day after I wrote that letter, things went downhill here at the office, and bad enough that we believed there was an attack against the 'Shroom staff. The reality is even stranger than the turn of events you were expecing, actually. Do you recall Ninja Squid? Our Statistics Manager? I believe you met him during our private Staff celebration last year. Well, he vanished in a very mysterious way after our journey at Moo Moo Farms.

An emergency protocol was decreed after a directorial meeting between him, Hooded Pitohui, and Roserade. Apparently, during that videoconference, it looked like Ninja Squid was being attacked by an unknown force. After being made aware of what had happened, the staff was in a state of panic. In fact, it was quite normal to feel that way, since it was a serious crime to attack a member of the media press, and even worse to do so during the Roserade Empire's rule.

A special committee within the staff was created in order to find Ninja Squid. Of course, as we expected, both Hooded Pitohui and Roserade were bickering for who was going to take the position of chairperson, and once again for which plan we should go for. During that time, the Shadow Director took the opportunity to put up posters all over 'Shroom City, just like some people do for lost dogs or things along the line.



After a few weeks of research, no progress was made, and the morale of the team was starting to decline. Hooded Pitohui, who actually won the position of chairperson of the special committee, held another meeting to try to bring back some positive energy in all of us. Now, my beloved, that's where I need all your focus, because things are going to be really weird. During the meeting, the extremely boring meeting which no one actually cared for, Zange noticed some strange lights just outside the windows. All the staff gathered to look at what it was, and that's when we realized it was none other than Ninja Squid! Our own Statistics Manager was there floating in midair, looking at us through the window, but, to be honest, there was something off about him. He was all purple, with glowing red eyes. He looked more threatening than usual.

Our excitement quickly turned to fear when Ninja Squid started to load the biggest Booyah Bomb I had ever seen, and threw it straight into the 'Shroom's office. Our own Statistics Manager was attacking us! The building began to shake under the power of the Booyah Bomb and we were ordered to evacuate from the office, but on our way through the main entrance, we were greeted by a Shroob army under the control of Goombuigi and Power Flotzo. That's when we realized that this attack was done by the Shroobs, but that our own Statistics Manager, one of our writers, and the Poll Committee Vice-Chairperson himself were part of that army.

How could we trust others when even our allies turned their back on us?



Any chance of escaping was in vain. The Shroobs seized the place with disconcerting speed. It seems that they had been planning the attack for some time now. Given that they had a member of the 'Shroom staff on their side who knew the place very well, it is quite possible that they had studied the staff's way of doing things so that their chances of success were great.

By order of Ninja Squid, Power Flotzo started to suck the life energy of the remaining staff members, and the writers, just like a Metroid would do it, and I even dare to say that Power Flotzo was doing it at a faster pace. Once their bodies were out of any energy, Goombuigi was tasked to immerse them in pools of greenish liquid. Apparently, it was called vim; it was the energy from the newspaper. Witnessing all of this, I hope you understand how horrible the experience was. Hooded Pitohui was the next in line to be victim of Power Flotzo, but Ninja Squid had a different plan for him. With his N-Zap gun, he completely inked Hooded Pitohui with a strange goo that... changed him into a Shroob! The 'Shroom Director was Shroobified! I couldn't believe it.

Ninja Squid then proceeded to give the same treatment to Roserade, and once he finished, both of them were under his control. I asked him why he did all of this. Why did he attack The 'Shroom? After some reluctance, he looked me straight in the eye and explained to me that he intends to recreate the world under the Shroobs' control. In order to make his plan a reality, he needed a great source of creative energy, which The 'Shroom contains in sufficient quantity. With Hooded Pitohui and Roserade under his control, The 'Shroom was also under his control. With that done, he would able to complete his plans with no opposition.

He sounded very sincere when he said those words, but a few things seemed odd to me. It's like... it wasn't really him who was saying those words to me. His way of speaking and the way he was acting was drastically different from usual. He looked like he might have been... possessed. Could it be possible?

While I was trying to reflect on that (I know it wasn't really a good time to do that, but still), Power Flotzo continued to suck the life energy of the remaining writers, and just before my eyes, what was apparently a time hole was starting to take shape. Standing in front of the portal, Hooded Pitohui said that he wished for a world that is always covered by the sunlight. After hearing him, Roserade pushed him away from the time hole, and said that a world under the moonlight would be way more fitting. Things took a wacky turn, because the other Shroobs, along with Goombuigi and Power Flotzo, all went with their own ideas for the new Shroob world, and they all stopped the preparations from moving forward.

I would have taken the opportunity to escape before Power Flotzo could get his tentacles on my head, but I was strapped to my chair, and very well tied up to be honest. That's when, in a very abrupt way, the Shadow Director, Superchao, came in and helped the remaining writers to escape from there. Superchao told the Shroobs that launching an attack on the 'Shroom was a big mistake and that they were all going to regret it. Ninja Squid, Hooded Pitohui, and Roserade all ordered the Shroob army to capture Superchao, but they all failed, fortunately.

And well, that's how I find myself in this gross basement. There are Shroob UFOs all around the city, and things are pretty dangerous out there. Superchao, on other hand, is now preparing a little army to stop the Shroobs' rampage, and thus, save the 'Shroom.

My dear beloved, please, stay safe, and I'll write to you again when I can.



(The signature is illegible)

'Shroom Research Lab: ''Our entire staff is now doing research to find out what happened next. Stay tuned for our next report!''

Staff Notes


''Suddenly... Warping through space and time... Ninja Squid appears!''

Ah, it worked out! Hey, what's up guys, I managed to... WHAT THE BLAZES IS GOING ON HERE!?

Oh, you are here? Well, uh... Hello 'Shroom readers, this is Ninja Squid from the past. I managed to find myself a time travel machine, and I wanted to find out what would happen in the future, just out of curiosity, you know. Trust me, I didn't want to find out about the lottery numbers. Nope, not at all. But, I never imagined finding out that I would end up invading the newspaper like this, and not with the Shroob army, that's for sure. Now I feel ashamed of myself.

Well, I'm not alone in this mess apparently, that's something positive, I suppose. I am with the Dark Side, alongside Hooded Pitohui, Roserade, Goombuigi, and Power Flotzo. The hilarious thing here is that even if they are in a "Shroobified" form, Hooded Pitohui and Roserade are still practicing their usual bickering. Although they should be stopped immediately to prevent further trouble, I guess I can at least explain what's going on, since those things are out of my control.

Anyhow, it seems like The 'Shroom only contains enough vim to create a partial new world for the Shroobs, and it's not possible for them to have the day and night system we have. Well, it's up to you to decide if they should be basking in sunlight or live under the moonlight. Be sure to choose your side, cast your vote, and join this month's debate.

If Hooded Pitohui and Roserade are still bickering in their "Shroobified" form, I am pretty sure my future Shroob self will manage this, just as I normally would. In the meantime, I will try to find a way to return to my proper timeline, before I make things worse. See you next time!

&mdash;Ninja Squid, Judge

Which is the more appealing time of day: that under the sunlight or that under the moonlight? Choose your side and cast a vote!

Join Team Sunlight


Fellow members of the Shroob army, the answer is clear. There is only one path forward! The new world we will create must be a world forever bathed in the light of the sun! From the gentle rays of the sunrise, to the orange hues of the sky just prior to dusk's arrival, we stand to lose all of this and more should Roserade's vision for our new world be allowed to prevail. I implore you, join me, over these next three weeks, as I lay out for you precisely why it is the case that we deserve a world bathed in sunlight over a world bathed in the moonlight. I will focus, at each step, on:


 * The time we spend, ourselves, under the sun, and its importance
 * Other life forms which make use of the sun, the diurnal organisms which are worth making note of
 * The general aesthetics of a world bathed in sunlight, and their superiority to the general aesthetic of a world bathed in moonlight

Join me, and we shall make Roserade understand why the new world of Shroobs must have the sun blazing in its skies!

&mdash;Hooded Pitohui, Leader of Team Sunlight

Join Team Moonlight


To every member of our Shroob ranks, I beseech you to listen to me. We must now craft our own world to reside, and where else should it be but beneath the beautiful moonlight! Shall the majestic of Lady Moon and her stars be lost to the eternity of time, or shall we rest every day beneath brilliant constellations and the vastness of the dark sky? Pitohui's vision for our new home is nothing short of heinous, and we deserve much, much greater. Link your arm with mine, and we'll all walk towards a better future for the Shroobs!

Much like my dear brethren, I shall be pursuing my argument in three steps:
 * The significance of the midnight hours and how they affect us - for the better!
 * What sort of creatures we encounter under the guise of the shadows
 * The natural beauty of a world which exists under the twinkling sky

Let Pitohui's arguments fall to their knees just as the sun falls from the sky! Let us dance under the dazzling display of the moon!

&mdash;Roserade, Leader of Team Moonlight

Rules
In order for you to earn points for each teams, we have opted to divide things into three categories.

The result will depends on the number of categories a team will win. For example: If Team Alpha receives 12 endorsements, while Team Bravo receives 8 endorsements, that means that Alpha wins on the endorsements category. The team who wins the most categories will be declared the winner of the 'Shroomfest. In addition, the winner is officially and objectively the best according the The 'Shroom's law. Therefore, taking the win is very important!

Debate Guidelines
The debate’s thread will be opened by the designated judge who will make a brief introduction to the debate’s subject, along with the motivations of each team's leader.

Afterwards, for a period of three weeks, the team leaders and their supporters will try to convince you that their team is truly the best. They'll do this with arguments, art, photos, and stories that will demonstrate the reasons why their choices is truly the better. After one week of debating, the judge will then write a brief note, highlighting the best cases from both team, and even question the various subjects raised by the team leaders and supporters. Afterwards, they will have to argue against the questions or subjects brought up by the judge, which will lead to further debating. This cycle will occur every week in order to keep the debate as fresh, and up to date as possible. Once the three-week period has passed, the judge will conclude the debate with a short message and invite the participants to come back for the results that will come out at the release of the 'Shroom's next issue. Any message or argument posted after this message won't be taken into account during the compilation of the results.

How to endorse a team: On the debate thread, you just have to post a simple word of encouragement for the team you choose to support. It is entirely possible to change teams at any time, by writing another word of encouragement to the other team to change side. Take note that only the last team you endorse before the debate ends will be the one that will be taken into account for the results. So be sure that the team you choose to support is the one you want. How to give points to the Efforts category: To allow your team to score point into the "Efforts" category, you must add valuable posts to the debate. Lay out your own opinion/arguments, create art or photos of your favorite time of day (caption are allowed), write entertaining stories, or even make a meme or two. Making the most convincing and entertaining case is an important part of the debate. If you are unsure if something is worthy of the "Efforts" category, just ask the judge about it on Discord, or with a PM. Our main goal is to make the debate as accessible as possible.

'''Please note that in an effort to keep the debate civil, fun, and lighthearted, please, we request that you respect all the instructions. Any inappropriate behaviors (spam, flaming, personal attacks, etc…), and discussions regarding politics, social issues, or any controversial topics that veer away from the light-hearted nature of this debate will not be tolerated. '''

The debate will take place from December 19th to January 9th. To join the debate, click here.

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