The 'Shroom:Issue LXVII/Fake News

Fake News

Editorial
Happy same month as halloween! Because of this event, this issue of Fake News will be...TERRIFYING!

Now time for some TERRIFYING STAFF CHANGES! has been hired for the Fake Games and Fake Shop sections, so congratulations to him! Taking on two sections at once isn't easy, I'm saying that from experience, so wish him luck. Also it's halloween this month so something TERRIFYING might happen to him, so all the more reason!

Who won the TERRIFYING Section of the Month? Could it have been anyone else but ? Probably, but he and his Fake Ads won it anyway, with 33 votes, so congratulations to him! Runners-up were Koohitsu and Chivi-chivik, with the Fake Interview and Cooking Guide, with 28 TERRIFYING votes each.

Oh, and there's a TERRIFYING monster at the end of Pyro's section. Watch out.

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...

...

...BOO

DID I SCARE YOU?

No?

Dang. Well, anyways, welcome, ladies, gents, Goombas, and Cake Mix! Welcome to a spooky, Halloween-ie version of Pyro's outstanding, detailed, and persuasive Travel Guide! I almost sent in my section late. Why? Because A. I was busy in the latest tourist spot and B. I was busy fighting off angry people for me hating Gravity Falls! That aside, I'll present to you, the Pumpkin Zone!

This spooky place is run by many Cyclops, Boos, and those things that have a knife stuck in their head. Those guys really need to see either a therapist or a doctor. Or both, it doesn't matter. Enough with that, let's talk about what the Pumpkin Zone has to offer!



The Pumpkin Zone has many graveyards that the kids will love to explore, but don't forget the (ghost) Repels to fight off those pesky (ghost) Zubats. And many other things that aren't Pokémon. To stay at this spooky zone, you can go to Terekuribo Inn. There, for the price of your soul - er, I mean, five dollars a night, you can rest your soul, or what's left of it after you sell it - er, I mean, rest all you like.

During the night, the Boos come out and give live entertainment, while you can also go over to another part of the Zone and carve pumpkins until your life ends - er, I mean, until you get what you desire.

So, that's it for the Pumpkin Zone! Go there soon, to meet your doom.

Also, I totally am not actually a spirit speaking and totally have not stolen Pyro's body, nope-nope-nope!



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This month we have a great new game coming out called Super Yoshi Kart! Everyone is talking about it! Well, at least on Yoshi's Island. This game is going to take Karting to the next level! There are many characters in this game including Yoshi, Shy Guy, Birdo, Kamek, Boshi, Yoshi Kid and more! Players race around different stages of Yoshi's Island including Yoshi Town, Kappa Mountain and Baby Bowser's Castle! All the while trying to avoid Yoshi Eggs thrown by other players! Items introduced in this game are Green, Red, and Spiny Yoshi Eggs! Get a Yoshi Cookie and gain a Speed Burst! Yoshi Eggs and Cookies also come in Triple Variety! Finally, when in doubt try to get the YoshiCopter! You will get an extreme speed boost and automatic turning! This a great new game, get it at a retailer near you today!

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"Sorry I'm not here, Halloween has come a bit early for me. Too much crimes at once.  I'm only one guy, not to mention every single officer quit on me.  I'll be back next month to give you many results of each crime.

Sincerely, Chief TravixMan."

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Written by:  Koohitsu

Yeah... Interview. Another one. Ok, fine.

I apologize if I come across as a little moody. I am still thinking about last month's interview and the huge disappointment it was in my opinion. It was supposed to be the best thing ever, and then it wasn't. Well, but at least I got paid this time, which I guess is one way to look at it positively.

Anyway, today's guest is as repulsive and unattractive as you can get, negating any chance of me enjoying this interview at all. That is a good thing, because it means I will not be disappointed when it is over. In fact, I can't wait for that.

Please welcome: Gruntilda, the Witch

"You cocky brat, you have some spine, denying I am fair and fine. With those big eyes I wouldn't speak, your nose is a melon, what a freak."

"I have you know that my nose is perfectly average for my species, and so is the size of my eyes. At least mine are the same size."

"My mismatched eyes offer variety, makes men go crazy, I guarantee! An image of perfection this body is, and you are jealous, little miss."

"Ok, that is a load of bull."

"She said with envy, feeling dull."

"'Bull' and 'dull' doesn't even rhyme properly, you–"

"Ok, never mind."

"Just tell us something about yourself. We are all dying to know. "

"Well, I am this lovely maid, hot and smart and underpaid. I wish I was in another game. The last one, it was kind of... not living up to its full potential."

"Huh."

"In any case, my ugly dear, I must ask you: Why am I here?"

"Uhm... You're here because I invited you...?"

"I know, but why, you silly tart? You're supposed to invite some Nintendo fart."

"Well, you were with Nintendo once, though."

"That little stunt was ages ago. Doesn't hold up as far as arguments go."

"There is also a lot of fans that say, since Banjo exists in the same universe as Diddy Kong, and Diddy and Donkey Kong exist in the same universe as Mario, that you technically exist in the same universe as Mario as well."

"That is dumb, and so are you, believing such a pile of poo. "

"Hey, I didn't say I believed it. Just that this theory is out there."

"'Out there' hits the head on the nail. This theory is a massive fail. It really gets this wench to think, how low will today's fanbases sink?"

"Tell me about it. I mean, some people even believe Mario and the Princess make a good couple. And the same people scoff when I tell them about my Mario x Bowser fanfic."

"..."

"What's with the silence?"

"That is so wrong, you make me cry! You might be eviller than I!

"Shut up! It's a good pairing!"

"Your pairing sucks, fills me with fright! Upon the earth, it is a blight! I would blast you now with glee, but then a hero I would be. My reputation would be wrecked, then Rare finds out, and I get sacked."

"You really think this pairing is a bad idea?"

"It is a hundred bad ideas rolled into one!"

"Hey, you didn't even rhyme that time!"

"That's how bad of an idea it is!"

"As if you knew anything about the subject."

"I know enough, shipping is bad! A waste of time that makes me mad! But if it's Grunty who's the lead, I might forgive your godless deed."

"No, I highly doubt you are really romance material."

"Ignorant brat, what do you know? I am the star of every show! Just write me in, and you will see, a masterpiece your filth will be!"

"Well, I guess I could... give it a try?"

"That's the spirit, little one! Just try it out, I'm lots of fun!"

"Ok, let's think of a good premise then!"

"Chop chop, get to it, little punk! Go pair me with a handsome hunk! Eight feet tall, with tanned skin! Some chiseled abs and smashing grin!"

"That would be terribly generic, boring, and not my style at all! I already got someone in mind for you anyway."

"Who might that be, you little nut? He better be a sexy stud! So wisely choose who'll be the lad, and if it's Klungo, I'll be mad!"

"No, don't worry. It's not him."

"It's Kazooie."

"WHAT!?!?"

"It's gonna be great! See, the two of you are going to be trapped in this elevator."

"I'll not allow what I've just heard! You will not pair me with the bird!!"

"So after some fighting, the two of you put your differences behind you, and fall in love."

"That is ghastly, you are crazy! Someone shoot me, I'm too lazy!!!"

"The two of you look deep into each others eyes, and after a while you say 'My pretty bird, I never knew, the feelings I have had for you. Your eyes shine like the brilliant moon, I love you dear, you make me swoon...'"

"Aaah!!!"

"Then the two of you slowly approach each other, and--"

"Enough! I can't take more of this! I'll shut you up, oh what a bliss! Your mind is filthy and I can't unsee, so a filthy pig you shall now be! SHAZAM!!!"

"..."

"...?"

"Oink?"

"A filthy mind, a fitting face! The brat is gone, let's loot her place!"

"Oink oink! Oinkoinkoinkoink!!!"

"AAAH hahaha haha HA hahahahahaaaaa ha ha ha!!!"

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Hello, sports fans from around the world! McZaky29 here to bring you the latest edition of the Sports Report!

Today’s heated matchup comes from the MKLS (Mushroom Kingdom League Soccer) – the Bumpsy Plains Flifits, and the Blubble Lake Crawfuls. Blubble Lake won the coin toss, meaning the Flifits got to kick off. The kickoff took two decent bounces, rolling into the goal. The goalie for the Crawfuls beaned Flifits inside forward in the back of the head. The penalty got the goalie a really sweet ricochet a yellow card, and not even three seconds were gone from the game. It was about twenty minutes later until someone scored again – the Crawfuls finally got on the board with a header off of a corner kick. There were only 12 minutes left in the half at that point. The referees were getting way too hungry, so they called halftime early.

At the second half, to avoid getting scored on at the kickoff again, the Crawfuls changed from their standard 4-4-2 formation to a 5-4-1. With only 2:08 in the game, the Crawfuls scored again to take the lead 2-1. Time ran out, but apparently there’s this thing called “additional time”. Additional time took awhile, but right when the ref was about to call the end of the game, the Flifits scored the game tying goal, which bounced off of the crossbar and in. So it went into overtime. Defenses ruled in overtime, or extra time, as they call it, until Flifits’ forward threw a punch to the fullback of the Crawfuls. A penalty kick ensued. From what I could see, the goalie for the Flifits decided it was more important to lean up on the side of the goal and relax than to try and block the game-winning goal. The shot went straight forward into the back of the net as time expired. Coach of the Bumpsy Plains Flifits was seen strangling his goalie for easily allowing the goal that lost the rivalry to a team that the coach hated more than anything. As for the Crawfuls, they are eligible for the MKLS Championship Series.

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Hi! It's Koopa K, with another edition of Shop Scout! This month, I decided to check out Paper Mario and partners shop. This shop was started by Mario's paper form and Goombario. Many partners came in soon afterward. When I went into the shop I saw none other than the Co-Founder Goombario! When asked why he created the shop, he responded "Well, there was this one day, Paper Mario fell into our village and asked me to go on an adventure with him! Of course I said yes, than I realized this could be a big money maker! I could see it 'Paper Mario and Partner'. It was perfect! Then there was a certain Blue-Shelled Koopa who joined on and we had to make it Paper Mario and Partners. It was still perfect though." I immediately excused myself to the cash register before I got too bored. Where Goombella was ready to take my order, here are the items for sale...

I decided not to buy anything after thinking about how other shops would offer lower prices, and the lack of quality in some of the items.

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HI, readers! I'm your ubiquitous Statistics Manager and counselor, Tucayo, and welcome to Ask Tucayo! I got seven questions this month, which I believe is a record, yay! I invite you to send me any questions you have, on any subject. Gaming, sports, personal opinions, relationship advice... Ok, maybe take out the last one, I suck at that.

Without further ado, let's get to this month's questions. Epic Nitwit asks:


 * Have you ever played a Mega Man game?
 * Uh-oh, I knew this day would eventually come... I'm ashamed to say I haven't! I know it's one of the most popular and beloved series in the Super Mario Wiki community, but I have never been really interested into playing it. I played a small Mega Man X demo, but it was just for a couple of minutes. I should probably get one for the Virtual Console, though. Any recommendations?

Next we have your favorite Patroller (or not) and Pipe Plaza writer, Bop1996, who asks:


 * What is your opinion on cream puffs?
 * I have to admit I asked myself "what are those things?" So as the good writer I am, I went on and googled them. Did you know you can use Google as an ingredients checklist?! Technology is amazing, I tell ya. Back when I was a small Koopa, if we wanted to cook something we had to go all the way to Toad Town and get Tayce T. to cook it for us. And half of the time we would end up getting some terrible stuff, but now a single webpage can tell you how to make them, amazing. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, I googled them and I found out I indeed know what they are, it's just that I call them profiteroles. It's actually been a while since I last had one, but I absolutely love them. Especially when they are covered in chocolate.

We have marioman1213 (this guy wanted my job!) who asks:


 * What's your favorite cookie? https://www.marioboards.com/Smileys/default/bowserjr.gif :"I hope you had Evil Milk with it!"
 * My favorite cookies are Principe cookies (the front three in the picture, the one in the back is baaad), but since I'm pretty sure most people outside Mexico don't know them, I'll go with White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookies! And yes, I love to have them with evil milk from the cows Bowser himself raised.

And last (but not least!), four questions from RandomYoshi:


 * TUCAYO WHY ARE YOU CALLED TUCAYO
 * TUCAYO WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE BOOK THING
 * AND YOUR FAVOURITE THING TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS, I GUESS
 * AND YOUR FAVOURITE WAY OF GREETING PEPOLE!
 * NICE, FAVOURITE. Let's go in order:


 * 1) It's a misspelling of the Spanish word "Tocayo", which means "name-sake". I first got called that in elementary school, about... 10 years ago? Holy Poochy, it's been 10 years since I was in elementary school!?!? Damn.
 * 2) My favourite book is... a very difficult decision. I read a lot and I like most of the books I read, so it's hard to settle for one. The first book I read was Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, so it holds a very important place. Mockingjay is the only book that has made me cry, so I guess that holds a special place as well. The Inheritance cycle is also amazing. As you can see, I'm a fan of fiction/adventure.
 * 3) On Saturday I like to go out to eat with my family and then go out with my friends and watch a movie, go get a drink, or something. On Sundays I like to go over to my grandparent's and watch baseball/football/golf/soccer and then watch some series.
 * 4) hehe, this one should be obvious.... HI! I started using it in chat over four years ago and now I use it everywhere!

That was it for this month's Ask Tucayo, please remember you can be the star of this section! (Or something like that). Just send me a PM asking about anything. Have fun, BYE!