List of Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story + Bowser Jr.'s Journey quotes

This is a list of quotes from the game Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story + Bowser Jr.'s Journey. For quotes from the original, see here.

Beef

 * "Health!"
 * "Get bouncy and smooth hair!"
 * "That's right, you can have all of these and more when you sign up with..."
 * " Best Fitness Friends! "

Birdley

 * "FYI! FYI!"
 * "There's a conference on blorb prevention happening right now at Peach's Castle."
 * "All of the most important leaders have been invited."
 * "...Except for you of course. Hoo boy."

Bowser

 * "What now? I don't have time for this!"
 * "Pfft."
 * "Ah, Junior. Found a new toy, huh?"
 * "Kamek! Tell me you didn't work yourself into a frenzy over THAT."
 * "Son, I'm kind of in the middle of something..."
 * "What, what IS that?"
 * "Who did this to one of my Goombas?!"
 * "Hey, blorb! Watch where you're rolling! You're gonna mess up my decorative barrels!"
 * "Wait...this is your job, Kamek. Protect my barrels!"
 * "Hey! Nobody holds an important conference without Bowser!"
 * " GWAAARGH! "
 * "Hmm..."
 * "Kamek! Get your quivering hump over to Peach's Castle right away!"
 * "Rotten, lousy conference-planning jerks... They know how much I like a continental breakfast!"
 * "This is completely unforgivable."

Bowser Jr.

 * "Whoa!"
 * "Hey, Dad! Check it out!"
 * "Didn't you hear me? We go until I win ten times!"
 * " I need six more wins! "
 * "Alright, goombs! Bring it on!"
 * "I just need to keep crashing into them to win, right?"
 * "Like, just knock that guy in the back, yeah?"
 * "Pfft. It's almost too easy!"
 * "You ready for this?"
 * "I call that attack the Whomping Wallop. It really packs...something, doesn't it?"
 * "Boooom! How about that? Did ya like that?"
 * "Chalk one up for Junior! Let's do it again!"
 * "Now I just need seven more wins!"
 * "What's that, goombie? Less talk, more fight!"
 * "Bowser Jr. wins again!"
 * "Eight more and it's all over!"
 * "(I could totally do a better job than those clowns...)"
 * "(I'm gonna get this done myself. Dad would love that!)"
 * "Guys! Your plan is garbage. I have a better one!"
 * "(Wait till I see what I've got in mind...)"
 * "Mechakoopa! My precious!"
 * " Fly! Fly now! "
 * "I'm gonna make that Skeletone... ♪ And dad's gonna know I'm on my own! ♪"
 * "Oh, it's you! You wanna tussle again?"
 * "Ha ha!"
 * "What's that supposed to mean? I'll stomp ya!"
 * "Like those Goombas are gonna knock me out. Please!"
 * "That sounds boring! I'll take 'em all out!"
 * "Whoa, check out that '!' over my Mechakoopa's head!"
 * "Bahaha! That was great."
 * "I guess that '!' meant he was about to do an awesome attack."
 * "Ugh, what am I yapping about? I sound like Ludwig. Back to fighting!"
 * "...This army isn't big enough. I need to step it up!"
 * "Now that's more like it. Chaaaarge!"
 * "Whoa, what's happening?"
 * "Sweet!"
 * "Duh! My Mechakoopas are the best!"
 * "Yes! Crushed it. Let's keep going!"
 * "What?! I'm the best! Of course I'm ready!"
 * "I said I got it! Yeesh!"
 *  "LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"  
 * "Bring it on!"
 * "What's that about turnips?"
 * "Are you finally done talking? Come and get me!"
 * "Yo! Ludwig!"
 * "Why are you so boring? You're messing up a perfectly good fight with all your yapping!"
 * "You're doing it again! Shut up!"
 * "I've got plenty of spirit. Dad always says so!"
 * "I'll fight you if you keep trying to teach me how to fight!"
 * "In other words... LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
 * " You're STILL talking?!  "
 * "Did you say something?"
 * "Finally!"
 * "What's up, big guy? You wanna say something?"
 * "Whoa! You're a big fan of the START button. I get it."
 * "Uh...so, is that it?"
 * "All right, buddy."
 * "Whoa! What's the big idea, sneaking up on me like that?"
 * "Is that a drumstick? Gimme, gimme!"
 * "Wait a second..."
 * "Where have you been keeping that thing?"
 * "Ah, who cares. Food is food!"
 * "Hold on. This is all burnt! What'd you do to it?"
 * "OK, bug guy. I'll, uh, eat it later..."
 * "All right, it's MY turn to brag about stuff."
 * "Captain Command! Open the panel!"
 * "When you see the '!', tap the icon below, or press up on the +Control Pad to use Deny!"
 * "Haha! DENIED! It's so satisfying."
 * "Wait, did that use up some of my CP? But those are MY Captain Points!"
 * "Bah, using Deny only cost one point. I guess I'll have to keep an eye on it..."
 * "Dude, have you been paying attention? I'm crushing it! I don't need your help."
 * "Ugh... If you insist. But make it quick!"
 * "Duh."
 * "Duh. Duh, duh, duh."
 * "Duh."
 * "Duh, duh."
 * "DUH!"
 * "Oh. you finally shut up!"
 * "Did you not hear me? DUH! I got it all!"
 * "Ha! Larry..."
 * "You actually thought you could beat me? Bwahaha!"

Captain Boo

 * "Lord Junior! Us Boos are ready and waiting!"

Captain Goomba

 * "Lord Junior... Must we keep at this?"
 * "My squad has of Goomba training to do. I don't wish to upset your father. Again."
 * "Oh...right. As you wish, milord."
 * "Wait... Why is the number going up instead of down?"
 * "Please... No more..."
 * "Lord Junior...I hate to bring this up, but your math seems to be off..."
 * "Sir, yes, sir! I have the minions in position, locked and loaded."
 * "SIR, YES, SIR!"
 * "Lord Junior... Please understand that I'm only following orders here..."

Captain Koopa Troopa

 * "Lord Junior! I have an urgent update. I...I've given up rhyming. I'm all about jokes now!"
 * "OK, here goes..."
 * "Bowser walks into a café and orders a coffee. The barista asks for his name."
 * "Bowser says, "Bowser," of course, but then the barista starts bowing!"
 * "Bowser's like, 'What are you doing?' and the barista says, 'You told me how to bow, sir.'"
 * "Get it?!"
 *  "Bow! Sir! Bowser?!"  
 * "I'm pretty new to this comedy thing, but it's really working me so far."
 * "They say you just have to be brave and put yourself out there."
 * "So...did you get it? Bow? Sir! Heh..."
 * "It's a play on word... Hope it wasn't absurd..."

Captain Shy Guy

 * "You got past Cap? Guess it's my turn."

Dieter

 * "Your wish is our command, Lord Fawful."
 * "...Understood."
 * "And a personal enrichment system known as Perfect You!"
 * "Muscles that quiver like whippets!"
 * "That's right, you can have all of these and more when you sign up with..."
 * " Best Fitness Friends! "
 * "I'm happy to report that everything is..."
 * "Groovy."

Fawful

 * "Oh, breakfast boy is having the cravings again! He is simple like butter sandwich."
 * "Great news I am hearing! And you will join me in the completion of this plan to its utmost completing!"
 * "Now where are the loud and muscle-having ones?"
 * "Dieter! Beef! Kaley!"
 * "Come and share in the chortles with Fawful!"
 * "Leave the capturing of Bowser to us!"
 * "Yes! Fawful's wishes are the gold coins in your tattered thrift-store pants!"
 * "You must never be forgetting about them!"

Goombas

 * "OK, Goomba Squad! Soooound off!"
 * "Present!"
 * "PRSHNT...URGHHHH..."
 * "Whoa!"
 * "Ulp!"
 * "Ohhhh...what's happening?"

Kaley

 * "Leave it to the Best Fitness Friends!"
 * "Hello? Is anyone here?"
 * "Hello, there! My name's Kaley. And...HOW FIT DO YOU FEEL?"
 * "Oh, it's your lucky day!"
 * "By virtue of simply being here, you have earned a FREE SEMINAR!"
 * "We're here to talk about..."
 * "Beauty!"
 * "Teeth that don't fall out!"
 * "That's right, you can have all of these and more when you sign up with..."
 * " Best Fitness Friends! "
 * "We even brought samples!"
 * "Or BFF for short! Heehee!"
 * "Aww, I'm sorry to hear you don't have time for personal fitness. I guess we'll be on our way!"
 * "My goodness! I'm glad you reconsidered our products."
 * "Now, for a case like this... I'd recommend..."
 * " Skeletone Formula :D! "
 * " Yowza! "
 * "You see! Skeletone Formula :D! It's the only product on the market that actually tones your skeleton!"
 * "Oh, well I'd be extremely grateful for the business..."
 * "...if I had any more Skeletone to sell you."
 * "I'm afraid that I only brought a trial sized portion with me today."
 * "Now, now! There's no need to get upset."
 * "After all I can sell you something much better than the product itself."
 * "I can sell you the recipe!"
 * "Dieter! Status report!"

Kamek

 * "Lord Bowser!"
 * "There's a large ball of trouble rolling our way. I'm freaking out!"
 * ''"Oh, I'm too late...
 * "It's headed straight for you, milord!"
 * "...Would we call it a frenzy?"
 * "All right, I'm working on a theory..."
 * "That overlarge Goomba may have been afflicted with a condition known as, 'the blorbs.'"
 * "But, Master..."
 * "No one knows what causes the blorbs or how to remedy the condition."
 * "Yes, Your Robustness..."
 * "I'll see if there have been any developments in de-blorbing..."

Koopa Troop

 * "Oh no!"
 * "The cannon seems to be jammed. Gadzooks! It's filled with Goombas!"
 * "OWWW!"
 * "Nooooooo! The Goombas knocked over the Whomps like dominoes. Oh, the Goomanity!"
 * "Ahhh! We're gonna get crushed!"

Larry Koopa

 * "Oh...great."
 * "All right, Ludwig said it's my turn. Are you paying attention?"
 * "I am going to show you how to swap out squad members."
 * "It looks like we'll be taking on some flying enemies."
 * "So, you know, we should make sure our squad can handle them!"
 * "Start by opening the Formation menu."
 * "This is where you can swap troopers in and out of your squad."
 * "So, like I said, since we'll be up against some flying troopers..."
 * "It'd make sense to add some ranged troopers of our own."
 * "How about that Shy Guy? Move the cursor and press ."
 * "So you can deploy up to nine troopers at once, including yourself."
 * "Oh, it looks like this squad's already full..."
 * "Well, let's swap in a Shy Guy for one of those Goombas."
 * "Once you've placed the Shy Guy over one of the Goombas, all you have to do is press ."
 * "Boom! Now you've got a ranged unit to fight back against those Boos."
 * "Now, if you want to put one of the troopers in your squad back on the bench..."
 * "Just select one, and press ."
 * "Got all that? Try messing around with some different combos—all battles are different!"
 * " Oh! I almost forgot! "
 * "You can also move your units around to make a new formation!"
 * "Start by pressing ."
 * "See these charts? They show how your enemies will be lining up."
 * "So, remember how we put that Shy Guy on the front line?"
 * "He's gonna run smack into these guys right away. And he's not that kind of fighter!"
 * "So, select the Shy Guy using, and then move him to the back line."
 * "Great! Now your formation is optimized for this battle. Using the right units...in the right way...is super important."
 * "So remember to check and see how your enemies are lining up..."
 * "And then set your units so they're at an advantage!"
 * "Oh, man...I haven't gotten into formation bonuses yet..."
 * "Eh...Ludwig can tell you all about that. Just try different things!"
 * "Anyways, once you're all set, press to go back and start the battle."
 * "How's this working out for you? Pretty good?"
 * "Why don't you let me try a different approach?"
 * "Already forgotten! Hahah!"
 * "Ugh...he's annoyingly strong."

Lemmy Koopa

 * "I'll just, uh...stay here, I guess. You know, hold down the fort."
 * "What's that all about? Were you gonna fill us in?"

Ludwig von Koopa

 * "Great work getting the recipe for Skeletone Formula :D, Roy."
 * "So, we need something called a 'Giga-carrot,' an 'Omega-onion', and some 'Ever Ice.'"
 * "With those ingredients in hand, we can cure the blorbs!"
 * "I've heard of the Giga-Carrot. It's supposed to be in Dimble Wood. Let's go check it out!"
 * "Yeah..."
 * "*sigh* Don't worry, everyone. I got this. Hey! Captain Goomba!"
 * "Are your troops ready?"
 * "Excellent. You may go."
 * "Give Lord Junior a true test..."
 * "In times like these, we can't leave things to chance."
 * "I've simply arranged for Lord Junior to learn a few lessons."
 * "After all, we wouldn't want him to get hurt, would we?"
 * "Well, in real battles, he'll have to learn."
 * "Lord Junior! This is not playtime anymore. This is serious!"
 * "You need to know that if you lose all your HP, you'll actually lose!"
 * "Even if your friends survive."
 * "Also, you should know that you don't need to defeat all of them to win."
 * "You just need to defeat the leader!"
 * "Yeah, well... You gotta try, you know?"
 * "Ah, this is a group attack. It's when multiple units attack at once."
 * "Of course, you'll need multiple units with the same type to activate it..."
 * "And, naturally, the more like units you have, the stronger the group attack will be."
 * "Lord Junior!"
 * "Are you sure you're ready for this?"
 * "Lord Junior, it's just that..."
 * "Yes, well...that went about how I expected."
 * "Lord Junior! Take a look at this."
 * "On the top screen here, you can review the units you're sending into battle."
 * "This is where you can see your Squad Level."
 * "As your units grow stronger, this number will go up."
 * "This is where you'll select a quest. But first..."
 * "You should look here to see how tough the enemies in a quest will be."
 * "If your squad is at a higher level, you're in good shape."
 * "Or, if you're feeling bold, you can try your luck at a lower level."
 * "The right formation can go a long way!"
 * "For more information, you can also tap an enemy's profile here..."
 * "Or you can press ."
 * "Either one will give you enemy and battle info."
 * "Did you catch any of that, Lord Junior?"
 * "...Moving on, then."
 * "All right, Lord Junior... We'll be facing off Shy Guys in this next battle."
 * "They are ranged troopers, which means they can hit you with a turnip from anywhere!"
 * "(Oh, he's listening...sort of. Now's my chance!)"
 * "Glad you asked! So, there are three different types of troopers."
 * "Ranged troopers use throwing weapons and can fire projectiles."
 * "Flying troopers can take to the air and attack from above."
 * "And Melee troopers are your ground force, charging fearlessly into battle."
 * "As I was saying, Ranged troopers can throw weapons."
 * "So they're perfect for fighting against Flying troopers."
 * "Meanwhile, Flying troopers have an advantage over Melee troopers, who must fight on the ground."
 * "In case you were wondering, Mechakoopas and Goombas are both Melee troopers."
 * "They charge forward valiantly into battle with no regard for themselves!"
 * "As such, Melee troopers are strong against Melee troopers."
 * "The system of strengths and weaknesses is known as the Power Triangle."
 * "Now, since you are a Melee trooper, Lord Junior..."
 * "You have the advantage over these Shy Guys, who are Ranged troopers!"
 * "Whew! I know it's a lot of information, but your survival DOES depend on it, so..."
 * "...Are you even listening a little bit?"
 * "I am feeling a little tired..."
 * "*sigh* Lord Junior...I'm trying to teach you about squads."
 * "When you like things up just right, your combined power can be incredible."
 * "This is known as SPIRIT, and it is super important!"  
 * "Lord Junior... if you would just listen..."
 * "You know, he's smarter than he looks. And sounds. He's trying to get in good with Lord Junior!"
 * "Easy, Roy. That's the boss's kid."
 * "And despite his miserable attitude, everything is going according to plan."
 * "Now, let's hurry along into battle. Actions speak louder than words."
 * "Hmph. You're not so different from him, you know..."
 * "All right, it's up to you to manage your squad formations from here on out, Lord Junior."
 * "It looks like we're up against melee troopers next, so I'd recommend adding flying troopers."
 * "I'd say...three Boos should be enough."
 * "Well...that's certainly enough from me. I'll leave you to it. Good luck, Lord Junior!"
 * "Lord Junior! Let's go over what we just learned."
 * "But this can help you, um...'crush it' even more."
 * "Excellent. Now, first of all, it's important to realize if the leader of a battle falls, the battle will be lost."
 * "And, if you defeat the enemy leader, the battle will be won."
 * "Allies and enemies all belong to one of three types: melee, ranged, or flying."
 * "Use the captain command at just the right time...."
 * "Pay close attention to your Captain Points..."
 * "and this thing and that..."
 * "and blah blah blah..."
 * "and if this happens, then..."
 * "and blah blah blah..."
 * "...and that's all. Any questions?"
 * "Lord Junior, this is important!"
 * "Point taken..."
 * "All right. But remember Lord Bowser's instructions!"

Midbus

 * "Lord Fawful...the plan is in motion."

Morton Koopa Jr.

 * "MORTON GUARD LORD JUNIOR."
 * "GET DA CURE. CURE DA BLORBS!"
 * "START BUTTON PAUSE! ...ALSO CHECK BATTLE LENGTH."
 * "BATTLE TOO HARD? SMALL BOWSER PAUSE AND RUN!"
 * "WANT VIEW GUIDE? SMALL BOWSER PRESS PAUSE!"
 * "...PAUSE BUTTON USEFUL. SMALL BOWSER TRY NOW!"
 * "...MORTON FINISH."
 * "JUNIOR. MORTON HERE!"
 * "MORTON GIVE FOOD. EAT! EAT NOW!"
 * "MORTON COOK WITH FIRE. MORTON STRONG! BUT FIRE MORE STRONG."

Roy Koopa

 * "Well, it wasn't easy, but I crammed 'em into a broom closet."
 * "Had no idea we had so many brooms!"
 * "If the blorbs keep spreading, something's gonna give. Either the brooms or the blorbs!"
 * "I hate sweepin'."
 * "And there HE goes again, not sweepin' a dang thing!"
 * "That punk will eventually be our boss!"
 * "Hmph. Yeah, I do..."
 * "Who are you? Castle-to-castle sales...things?"
 * "Man, Bowser will let ANYONE in here..."
 * " Go away. "
 * "We're up to our eyeballs in blorbed Goombas! We don't have time for this sales pitch."
 * "Hey! Sales...things. Come back for a second!"
 * "Yeah, uh, we'll take it."
 * "Go ahead and hand over everything you've got."
 * "What?! Why would you do that? Aren't you trying to sell the stuff?"
 * " Get outta here! "
 * "That's what they said. Too bad it all sounds like nonsense to me."
 * "If you manage to teach that kid something, you'll be the first!"
 * "I told you. You're wasting your time."
 * "Man! What a piece of work."
 * "Hah! He didn't hear a single word you said!"
 * " Oh, brother... "
 * " He really is a chip off the old block... "
 * "Me? No, boss. Not me. Musta been Ludwig still yapping."
 * "Come on, let's get going."
 * "Good for him. But me? I just wanna go home."
 * "I ain't the babysitting type."
 * "Whatever you say."
 * "Just tell me who to punch!"
 * "Bro! Try to salvage a shred of dignity here!"

Shy Guys

 * "Heave! Ho!"
 * "Whoa!"

Wendy O. Koopa

 * "All right, what did you do with all those blorbed Goombas?"
 * "Right. And to think, he's just goofing off with those Goombas during an emergency."
 * "And when it's been so dusty around here!"
 * "Yeah, but for now we still report to Bowser. Do you remember what he said the other day?"
 * "Best Fitness Friends, huh?"
 * "Hold on just a second, Roy..."
 * "I know it's crazy, but... What if their products DO have an effect on the blorbs?"
 * "Amazing!"