List of The Super Mario Bros. Movie quotes

This is a list of quotes from The Super Mario Bros. Movie. They are listed by character.

Mario

 * (in a commercial) "Are you tired of-a paying too much for plumbing?"
 * "I can't believe we spent our life savings on that commercial!"
 * "What about the accent? Is it... is it too much?"
 * "Say that again about my brother, and you’re gonna regret it."
 * "Ugh, mushrooms?!" - Mario's reaction to pasta with mushrooms.
 * ''"Luigi, are you in there?"
 * "Gimme your hand!"
 * "It's all gonna be okay!"
 * "I'm telling you, nothing can harm us as long as we're together!"
 * "LUIGI!!"
 * "It's a little mushroom man! A little mushroom man talking to me!"
 * "Uhh... Mario." - After Toad introduces himself.
 * "So this is not a dream?"
 * "YES!" - Response to Toad whacking him with a spear and asking if it hurt.
 * "And this... this place is...?"
 * "That is a cruel twist of fate."
 * "...Hello." - Reaction to seeing a Bramball.
 * "I'm actually looking for somebody. My brother, in fact. He looks exactly like me, but tall and skinny. And green."
 * "Hang on, Luigi."
 * "Mushroom Kingdom, here we come!" (not present in final film)
 * "Here you go."
 * "Whoa! Okay, so these bricks are just floatin' here?"
 * "Oh, wow! Love these pipes- (screams)" - Mario before being sucked into a Clear Pipe.
 * "Ah, come on!" - Mario getting stuck in a pipe maze.
 * "Me and my little brother, Luigi... We fell down this pipe, and now he's lost, somewhere in the Darklands!"
 * "Then take me with you!"
 * "Amazing!"
 * "You know what? Make fun of me all you want, but you are going to help me find my brother."
 * "But are we?" - Response to Toad claiming that they are best friends.
 * "That gorilla's wearing a sports coat."
 * "You did it on your first try, didn't you?"
 * "You're just trying to make me feel better."
 * "Ugh! Really??" - After getting a Super Mushroom from a ? Block
 * "Oh, I got this. No problem."
 * "Yes!" - Mario before falling down a Donut Block
 * "AH! Get it off, get it off, get it off!" - Reaction to a Cheep Cheep getting stuck to his face. (not present in final film)
 * "Mamma mia..."
 * "I'm not afraid."
 * "I'll do anything for my brother."
 * "We've never been apart this long." - Response to Peach asking if he is thinking about Luigi.
 * "You, sir, have a deal! I'll fight your son and win!"
 * "Alright... Let's-a go." (Official trailer only)
 * "You're about to take on someone your own size!" - Before eating a Mini Mushroom in the duel with Donkey Kong.
 * "Not...even...close." - After DK asks him if he's had enough.
 * "Aw, what- I'm a cat?!"- Mario after transforming into Cat Mario.
 * "Huh. I'm a cat!"- Mario after dodging Donkey Kong's punch.
 * "Meeeow."
 * "At least your brother isn't gonna die because of you."
 * "My dad thinks I'm a joke, too..." - Sympathizing with Donkey Kong about their fathers.
 * "You asked for it!"
 * "Let's drive!"
 * "Wahoo!"
 * "Really?" - After Donkey Kong compliments his raccoon suit
 * "Let's-a go." - Preparing to take down Bowser once and for all.

Princess Peach

 * "We are going to stop that monster."
 * "Are you... (gasping) He's a human! You ARE human, right?"
 * "Wait, wait, let's go back. Where do you come from?"
 * "Then it's only a matter of time until he's captured by Bowser. But you're in luck. I'm on my way to stop him."
 * "That guy's a lunatic. A psycho. He will eat you for breakfast. He won't even notice your problems, which are very, very small."
 * "Okay, let's see what you're made of!"
 * "Go on. Eat it!"
 * "Down the hatch. Yep. There it is, and gone." - Peach force-feeding the Super Mushroom to Mario.
 * "Together, we will stop--"
 * "We have heart! And with your strength... we can win!"
 * "Without your help, the Mushroom Kingdom will be annihilated."
 * "They're all counting on us."
 * "No pressure."
 * "If you can finish this, you're coming with me. Watch and learn."
 * "Well... we have a long journey ahead of us, mustached man." - To Mario, after finally deciding to take him along with her.
 * "He's not important!" - When a Toad asks who Mario is.
 * "You're coming with us."
 * "Thinking about your brother?"
 * "Don't worry. We're going to save him."
 * "There's a huge universe out there... with a lot of galaxies."
 * "Pretty incredible, huh?"
 * "He really does." - Agreeing with Toad that Cat Mario looks adorable.
 * "To the biggest fight of our lives! Here... we... go!"
 * "Bowser's on his way! You have to evacuate!"
 * "Marry you? Are you insane?! I would NEVER marry you."
 * "NO! STOP! PLEASE STOP! I'll... I-I'll marry you. Just don't hurt my Toads!" - After Bowser uses Kamek to torture Toad in order to force Peach to agree to marry him.

Luigi

 * "That is not a commercial. That is cinema!"
 * "Oh great, Spike’s here."
 * "Yeah! Our mom called! She said, 'Aw, boys, that's the best commercial I've ever seen!' And I said, 'Thank you very much, mother! We're very proud of it!' So BOOM!"
 * "Super Mario Brothers!" - Answering a phone call.
 * "We have hit the big time!"
 * "I love mushrooms! I'll take it!"
 * "I knew saving Brooklyn was a bad idea."
 * "HOW IS THIS GONNA BE OKAY?!?" - Response to Mario telling him that everything will be okay.
 * "MARIO!"
 * ''"You just got Luigi'd!"
 * "Wow, uh... Yay."
 * "Do you think I know every human being with a mustache wearing an identical outfit with a hat with the letter of his first name on it?! ...Because I don't!"
 * "THEY DO IF THEY HAVE GOOD TASTE!!" - After Bowser asks if princesses find Mario attractive.
 * "Where am I?!"
 * "There's gotta be a way outta here."
 * "Mario, why do you look like a bear? What is this?"
 * (with Mario) "Nothing can hurt us as long as we're together."
 * "Thank you for calling Super Mario Brothers Plumbing! It's-a me, Luigi! Ah, if you need service, please-uh text us the same number you just called! 929-55-MARIO! That's 929-556-2746! Message us about any issues wherever you live! House, condo... mansion? And we'll be sure to text you back right away, because at Super Mario Brothers Plumbing, we don't say, "Let's-a wait"; we say, "Let's-a go!" Oh, and uh, check out our website smbplumbing.com! We're still working on it, so.... more updates to come. Buh-bye!" - Super Mario Bros. Plumbing voicemail

Bowser

 * "Open the gates! ...Or die."
 * "I do not." - Refusing to yield to the Penguin King.
 * "I've finally found it. Now who's gonna stop me!?!" (Teaser only)
 * "I've finally found it. And now no one can stop me!"
 * "I'm not threatened."
 * "Find out who he is, and WHAT THEY'RE PLANNING!!!" - Bowser to Kamek
 * "Not sure if you know who I am, but I'm about to marry a princess and rule the world."
 * "But there's one problem, Luigi: there's a human traveling with my fiancee. Has a mustache, just like you."
 * "Do you know him...?"
 * "Tough one, I see. Maybe THIS will get you to talk!"
 * "DO YOU KNOW HIM!?"
 * "Do princesses find him attractive?!"
 * "Not yet. Pain is the best teacher." - Response to Kamek asking if he may lift the piano cover.
 * "Here we are... Yes! Love really makes a guy come out of his shell!"
 * "I told you that line wouldn't work!"
 * "Let's rule the world... together, forever! Will you marry me?"
 * "Maybe you should reconsider." - Bowser after Peach rejects his proposal.
 * "My army! Koopas! Goombas! Whatever those things are!"
 * "We will destroy the Mushroom Kingdom!"
 * "After years of being sworn enemies... I will ask their princess to marry me in a fairy tale wedding!!"
 * "It is time to ROCK!!"
 * "Let's end this."
 * "RIP THEM TO PIECES!"
 * "Kinda!" - After Peach demands if Bowser thought she really thought she'd marry him.
 * "You will all be ritually sacrificed!" - To his prisoners.
 * "Launch the Bomber Bill and DESTROY THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!!"
 * "MARIO!!!"
 * "YOU RUINED MY WEDDING! I WAS FINALLY GONNA BE HAPPY! NOW YOU WILL SUFFER — LIKE ME!!!!"
 * ''"You really thought you could stop ME?! YOU WORTHLESS, WEAK LITTLE NOTHING! COME OUT AND FIGHT! Or are you too SCARED?!"
 * "You can't treat me like this! Do you know who I am? I am Bow-"

Toad

 * "DO NOT TOUCH THAT MUSHROOM, YOU'LL DIE!"
 * "Oh, I'm sorry. That one's perfectly fine."
 * "Pleased to meet ya. I'm Toad!"
 * "That hurt, right?" (after response from Mario) "Definitely not a dream."
 * "Your brother has landed in the Darklands. They're under Bowser's control..."
 * "I hope you told your brother how much you loved him, because you're probably never gonna see him again." (TV spots only)
 * "Was that too dark?" (TV spots only)
 * "Come on, Mario! Our big adventure begins now!"
 * "Excuse me, everybody, coming through. Got a big adventure happening right now. Just clear a path for us."
 * "Excuse me, everybody, coming through! This guy's brother is going to die imminently! Out of the way, please!"
 * "Just trying to clear a path. That's all I'm doing. He's gonna be fine."
 * "Chanterelle! Nice to see you, bud."
 * "And up we go."
 * "Just pop in this pipe and we're on our way."
 * "It's the only way to fly, man."
 * "Here we are. Palace doors. Bing bang boom."
 * "I fear nothing."
 * "I will protect you."
 * "We're best friends!"
 * "Feel underdressed?"
 * "Whaaaaaaat?" - Toad’s response after being startled by a Kong.
 * "Oh my- I- Okay." - Toad's reaction to seeing Donkey Kong beat Mario up at a duel.
 * "He looks adorable!" - Toad's reaction to Cat Mario.
 * "That is how you princess!" - Toad after Peach saves him.

Donkey Kong

 * "I'm D.K.! Donkey Kong!"
 * "Hi, Dad!"
 * "Dad, wave back!"
 * "What do you mean? They like it! It's what they came here for! Dancing pecs!"
 * "IS THIS WHAT YOU CAME FOR??"
 * "HA! You got the Cat box! Oh my- I'm sorry."
 * "Okay. Now you die."
 * "It is on... like Donkey Kong!"
 * "At least you're gonna die with your dad thinking you're a joke." (response from Mario) "Your dad's RIGHT!" - Lamenting about Cranky's disrespect towards him and later admitting that Mario's father is right to think Mario's a joke.
 * "I! AM! MORE! THAN A GUY! WHO SMASHES THINGS!" - After Mario accuses him of being a "big, dumb smashy monkey."
 * "Yes! Fire!"
 * "This is fun!"
 * "Cool raccoon suit!" (response from Mario) "Not at all."

Kamek

 * (first line of film) "Behold, the King of the Koopas!"
 * "The mustachioed human has arrived in the Mushroom Kingdom."
 * "The princess has been training him. They are up to something, sire."
 * "Sire, look in the mirror! You have nothing to worry about!" - Responding to Bowser if Peach likes Mario.
 * "I'm on it, sire... May I lift the cover?" - After Bowser shuts the piano cover.
 * "Oooh, yes!" - Playing Peach in Bowser's proposal practice.
 * "WHAT?!" - Getting interrupted by the Koopa General in Bowser's proposal practice.
 * "You're doing great!" - Encouraging Bowser to continue his proposal to Peach.
 * "Dearly belov--" - Trying to begin the wedding before getting hit by Peach.

Cranky Kong

 * "Alright, simmer down! I said, 'SIMMER DOWN!' That means you, Diddy!" - Cranky trying to settle the cheering Kongs down.
 * "Enough with the showboating!"
 * "Guess you're not getting my army."
 * "I guess he got the wrong mushroom!"
 * "Buckle up!"
 * "Who's this ray of sunshine?"

Spike

 * "Well, well, well. If it isn't Brooklyn's favorite failures, the Stupid Mario Brothers!"
 * "Tell me, have you even gotten one call since you left me to start your dumb company?"
 * "Good luck running a business with this idiot."
 * "Get this through your tiny brain, Mario. You're a joke, and you always will be."

Penguin King

 * "Attack!"
 * "That is but a taste of our fury. Do you yield?"
 * "Pay him no heed. He's cute, but he is (cuckoo noise)."
 * "Oh, you have got to be kidding!"
 * "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!" - Angry at Lumalee's comments.

Lumalee

 * "Home!" - Lumalee's response when Luigi asks where he is
 * "In an insane world, it is the sane who are crazy."
 * "Time, like hope, is an illusion."
 * "There's no escape. The only hope is the sweet relief of death."
 * "Ooh, fresh meat for the grinder."
 * "Now that's a happy ending. Or is it? Because everything's over now, and all that's left is you and the infinite void. Kinda makes you wanna play saxophone, huh?"

Toads

 * "Morning!"
 * "Does this thing work?" - A yellow Toad asking an antique store clerk about an NES cartridge.
 * "Yes, works great. You just have to blow into it."
 * "How? Look at us: we're adorable!" - A yellow Toad responding to Peach as she tries to rally the Toads to defeat Bowser.
 * "Uh, who's he?"

Koopa General

 * "We have found the princess and the mustachioed human!"
 * “You... can't escape ME! BLUUUE SHEEELLLLLL!!”

Koopa Troopas

 * "Did he say 'marry the princess'?"
 * "What if she says no?"
 * "Attack!"

Pauline

 * "Everything's under control, I promise you. We are very close to fixing this."

Giuseppe

 * "Too much? It’s-a perfect! Wahoo!"

Diddy Kong

 * "DK! D... sorry." - After Cranky tells him to settle down.

Commercial woman

 * "Thank you, Super Mario Bros.! It seems like the only thing you haven't drained is my bank account..." - Reading off a script in the Super Mario Bros. Plumbing commercial.