Kong Fu (episode)
Template:Articleabout Template:DKCbox "Kong Fu" is the seventeenth episode of the Donkey Kong Country animated series. The episode involves Donkey Kong, the future ruler of Kongo Bongo Island, preparing to fight Kong Fu, his challenger.
Plot Synopsis
The episode starts with a silhouetted Kong Fu attacking a drawn picture of Donkey Kong. He first punches and kicks the air, then attacks vigorously as the picture ends with three rips on itself.
Meanwhile, in Cranky's Cabin, Candy and Diddy Kong find out by Cranky Kong himself that he has just discovered when the next eclipse will occur: In exactly four days at 3:35 P.M., just in time for the Annual Donkey Kong Challenge. Candy then thinks a bit and asks Cranky why exactly they have a Donkey Kong Challenge. Cranky explains that it is an event to keep Donkey Kong on his toes, as he needs to be in tip-top shape to guard the Crystal Coconut as future ruler of Kongo Bongo Island. Also, if the ape were to lose, he would not be the future ruler anymore. Fortunately, as Diddy reminds, nobody every challenges Donkey Kong in his challenge because he is the biggest, strongest ape on the island.
Outside, Donkey Kong is attempting to break his banana-eating record of fifty-seven bananas. Diddy comes just in time to see him eat the last banana needed - "Mella Yella." Diddy reminds Donkey to start training, but Donkey Kong does not worry because nobody has ever challenged him.
In the Mines, Krusha attempts to fix the current black-out by putting the wires back correctly, for if he does not, King K. Rool will tickle him. King K. Rool then announces to his two henchmen that he has quit attempting to steal the Crystal Coconut. Instead, he will make the Kongs give him it, fair-and-square, for he will enter the Annual Donkey Kong Challenge - with Kong Fu challenging DK for him. Kong Fu then enters and breaks into song about the amazing feats he has done, such as riding the tail of a tornado and being swallowed by a shark. He also mentions the famous line that Confucious taught him, "The mind must be as sharp as a wisdom toad," all of which makes him the "Kung Fu Master."
Donkey Kong comes to Cranky's Cabin with a stomach-ache of large proportions. Cranky Kong scolds Donkey Kong for not training when he should have. Donkey Kong tells him not to worry because nobody will challenge him. Suddenly, Kong Fu comes to the shows himself at the entrance of the cabin along with King K. Rool, and the Kongs gasp, with Donkey Kong saying, "Uh-oh."
Later, Donkey Kong tells his friends not to worry, and demonstrates his "strength" by lifting a full barrel, which causes him to fall down almost immediately. Cranky Kong digs up the rule-book and explains that the Annual Donkey Kong Challenge is made up of three contests, two of which Donkey Kong must win. The contests are the Contest of the Body, the Contest of the Heart, and Contest of the Mind. Candy comes up with an idea to have each of them coach Donkey Kong in the different categories.
Back at K. Rool's base, Kong Fu uses Krusha and Klump as punching-bags, and to K. Rool's amazement, makes a new chopping record.
Diddy coaches Donkey Kong on the Contest of the Body, which is done by having Donkey Kong hold a barrel that seems to be unbelievably easier to lift than the barrel earlier. Unfortunately, the two find out that the barrel is light because it is empty. Donkey tells Diddy not to worry because they still have two contests left to master.
Klump hides in a mine-cart with Krusha behind it, while King K. Rool goes into part two of Kong Fu's training with the Contest of the Mind using the lizard king's trusty book, "Meditating Monks Who Wright Riddles in Their Spare Time". The starting brain-teaser is, "What runs, but never gets out of breath?" Klump replies with, "Oh, I know! You and your long, winding speeches!" K. Rool looks angrily at Klump, who ducks back into his mine-cart. Kong Fu answers with, "Simple, water." K. Rool laughs and says, "Brilliant." Kong Fu talks back, saying, "I know, I wrote it."
To prepare Donkey Kong for the Contest of the Mind, Cranky, in his cabin, looks through a book of brain-teasers and asks Donkey Kong, "What kind of running means walking?" Donkey Kong can't come up with the phrase, which is, "Running out of gas." Even after being told the answer, Donkey Kong still doesn't understand, to Cranky's disappointment.
Continuing on the Contest of the Mind coaching, Kong Fu describes to the lizards what an electron is, with a very detailed explanation and example as well. King K. Rool is amazed and begins to believe that Donkey Kong has no chance of winning at all. Klump brings up that, despite being smart and powerful, Kong Fu doesn't have much of a heart, which even Kong Fu agrees with. King Rool decides that once Kong Fu wins the Crystal Coconut, he just needs to "generously" give it away to the lizard king himself.
Outside of Candy's house, Donkey Kong tells Candy that he cannot believe of how over-confident he was about the contest. He is ashamed that he did not prepare in advance because he was so sure that nobody would challenge him. Candy sings with the ape that no matter what, he will still win the Contest of the Heart, and that if he believes in himself, he can still win the other contests. Cranky Kong and Diddy come in and Candy asks the old-timer if there is anything else they can do to help Donkey. Diddy comes up with an idea.
Inside his lair, King K. Rool announces that, after his gaining of the Crystal Coconut, Kong Fu will be replacing Klump and Krusha's roles as bodyguard and general. Diddy surprisingly drops in and tells the Kremlings and Kong Fu that Donkey Kong is so healthy, that "He could knock down Kong Fu for the count." This causes the villains to laugh hysterically and Diddy, trying to make him sound braver, asks if they could postpone the challenge for a year to "Make to fight fair-and-square." The bad guys laugh even more, so Diddy tells them, again trying to sound tougher, that they will "be sorry." Kong Fu then boasts about how badly he will hurt Donkey Kong, but in the middle of his talk, another black-out occurs, and Kong Fu whimpers. King K. Rool, believing it to be Klump who is causing the sound, tells him to stop "sniffling." Klump replies by saying it wasn't him, and that it must be Krusha, who confirms it wasn't himself either. The lights come back on and King Rool questions who was whimpering earlier. Kong Fu immediately points his finger at Klump, who gets angry and calls Kong Fu a liar. Kong Fu blames Klump for also letting "the little monkey" escape. Rool tells them to forget about Diddy, for the Annual Donkey Kong Challenge has started now.
Back at his treehouse, Donkey Kong is told by Diddy that he knows how to beat Kong Fu, and fills Donkey Kong in on the plan.
At the battlefield, Cranky and Candy, as Diddy's plan mentioned, do a "pre-game" dance show. K. Rool knows that there never was one before, and stops them from stalling. Donkey enters the arena and the Challenge begins with the Contest of the Mind. Cranky's question is, "How many pieces of string would it take to reach the moon?" Donkey Kong guesses, "One gazillion, three hundred and forty-two million, seven hundred, and sixty-five." The answer turns out to be incorrect, but Kong Fu comes up with the correct reply: One ("If it was long enough"). Cranky questions Diddy's plan, but the little monkey simply advises him to have the Contest of the Body last. Cranky announces the Contest of the Heart to be next, but K. Rool angrily declares that since Cranky picked the last contest, he should be able to pick the next one, which is the Contest of the Body. Diddy tells Donkey Kong to stay strong as long as he can. The gorilla obeys, and right before the final blow, at exactly 3:35 P.M., an eclipse occurs.
Kong Fu, being scared of the dark, stops and sniffles, which causes the reptiles to insult Kong Fu for his cowardly attitude. The Kongs encourage Donkey Kong to attack Kong Fu, but hitting someone when they are down is against Donkey Kong's own good will, and he thus wins the Contest of the Heart, for not taking advantage of Kong Fu when they are down. The eclipse ends and this leaves both gorillas at a score of one-to-one, the final contest being the Contest of the Body. Kong Fu is angered by the lizards' attitude toward his fear of darkness, and tells them to find somebody else to work for them. Kong Fu then decides to forfeit, allowing Donkey Kong to win by default. King K. Rool, in anger and frustration, goes back to the mines with Klump and Krusha to come up with a new plan to get the Crystal Coconut using his two "idiots." Donkey Kong tells Cranky that tomorrow, he shall start his training for next-year's challenge, but before that, he will break his first banana record. Cranky starts getting infuriated (though DK doesn't know why) and the other Kongs laugh as the episode ends with Donkey Kong swallowing his banana.
Featured songs
- "I'm the Kong Fu Master" (sung by Kong Fu, General Klump and Krusha)
KONG FU:
- I've survived a volcano and flood,
- I was swallowed by a great white shark,
- Hitched a ride on a tornado's tail,
- Outran an avalanche in the dark,
- I'm the Kong Fu Master, so mean and tough!
- I'm so bad, I scare myself!
(instrumental break)
KONG FU:
- I've been taught by Apefucius, who says,
- "The mind must be sharp as a wisdom tooth"
- I can chop down a tree with bare hands,
- I've been trained in Ape-jitsu Kung Fu!
KLUMP AND KRUSHA:
- He's so mean, he's so tough,
- He's so bad, he scares himself!
KONG FU:
- I'm the Kong Fu Master, so mean and tough!
- I'm so bad, I scare myself!
- I'm the Kong Fu Master, so mean and tough!
- I'm so bad, I scare myself!
- "Don't Lose Heart" (sung by Candy and Donkey Kong)
