The 'Shroom:Issue LIII/Fake News

Fake News

Editorial
Hi,

Let's add this here for convenience's sake:

How do I become a member of the Fake News team?

Write an application to this forum account. Use a descriptive subject so I know what your intention is.

This is the application form you need to use:

1.) Which position would you like to apply for?

2.) The staff reserves the right to remove writers from their position if they engage in activities that reflect badly on The 'Shroom. These activities include extensive misbehavior on the Super Mario Wiki and/or its forums. Do you agree to not engage in such activities for the entire duration of your employment?

3.) Please write a full-length demo of your section.  That way, we can have a bit of your work to decide if you can be on the team.

Please put some effort into your example section. The better your example is, the likelier it becomes that you will get a fast response.

'''I want to write for the Fake News, but I'm not good at keeping schedules. Can I contribute anyway?'''

Yes, you can. You can write sections as a freelance writer and send them in. If the staff likes them, and they fit in thematically with our newspaper, they will be published in the next issue.

This feature is called the News Flush. You can send these sections to either this forum account, or send an email to mwshroom@gmail.com. Please make sure to use a descriptive subject line.

If you send in a section by email, please don't forget to include a name so we can credit you properly (you can use a pseudonym or choose to remain anonymous altogether). Also, don't attach any files directly to your email.

Also, I will reply to the applications that are currently pending as soon as possible.

Thank you. That will be all.

[[File:Font SportReport.png]]
Written by:

The took place this month at Peach's Castle with great fanfare. Although there were many dazzling performances, the event was overshadowed by protests by TETAC (Toads for the Ethical Treatment of Animated Characters) and the Bronies, who then united to form ELF, the Equestria Liberation Front. Their violent displays to try to stop the events were foiled, and Waluigi stood triumphant as the 2011 champion.

No elves were harmed in the writing of this section.

[[File:Font TVTomorrow.png]]
Written by:

Hello, everyone, and welcome to Fake TV! This month, I'm going to be covering a calmer show: 'Cooking Time... WITH CHEF GOOMBA '

* GUITAR CHORD GUITAR CHORD NYAAAAAAAW NADADADADADADADADADDUNDUNDUNDAAAW* Yeah.

The show stars Chef Goomba, who cooks in his lovely little cottage on his lovely little farm. Many of his ingredients are home-grown, as he is good at farming his crops and animals. In the first episode, Chef Goomba makes three magnificent recipes:


 * A Turtley Omlette, made with a Klepto egg and sprinkled with ground Turtley Leaf.
 * A Goomnut Brownie, made with Uncle Toad's Finest Chocolate and tasty Goomnuts, among other ingredients.
 * A Piranha Plant stew, made with Piranha Plants (What? We eat plants sometimes ), water, and assorted vegetables.

The full recipes can be found in the program, which airs on 'Shroom Central at 8:00PM on the 30th August.

Sorry I've had so little, but the solid chef himself is pointing a gun at me, asking not to give any spoilers! Bye now!

[[File:Font HotRecords.png]]
Written by:

The song that everybody's been talking about this week, Princess Daisy's 'Rolling in the Shifting Sand', the No. 1 hit, 3 weeks in a row. You might say she's on a...roll?...Silence, complete silence. Great. We got in touch with the princess who quoted this:

"I see the song as piece of art. I can see it now, my name in the news with 'that Poltergust 3000 guy' "

We have some curiosity over here at Fake News HQ about the song meaning. Last Friday, we saw her with R Toady walking out of The Hotel Mario. We suspecting some cheating going on, but who knows? They could be writing a song together, they could be planning a record company, the possibilities are endless! Princess Daisy's new debut album '1-Up the World' releases on mTunes on Monday.

[[File:Font CookingGuide.png]]
Written by:

Hi everybody! Here’s your hostess, Chivi-chivik! And this is Cooking Guide, where we teach you how to cook excellent dishes!! So, let’s go! - Today I went to Zess T.’s home.

Me: *opens the door* Hi! Tayce T.: Look Zess! It’s her! Me: ?? Zess T.: Eh... she wanted to stay here... Tayce T.: I wanted to see my sis! Zess T.: *annoyed* You have seen me lots of times! Tayce T.: *happy* I don’t care! Me: Ehm... Can we start yet? Tayce T.: What are you going to cook today? Me: We’re going to cook... *takes out a Cake Mix and a Honey Jar* ... a Honey Cake! Tayce T.: Sweet!! Zess T.: Meh... ...Tayce... Why don’t you go home? Tayce T.: The train does not leave for 5 hours! Zess T.: `__´; *brings me to the kitchen* Ready? Get a bowl and put the Cake Mix there. Mix it with sugar, water and some milk. Me: *writing* Water and some...? Zess T.: You don’t listen well, Miss Deaf? I said water and some milk!! Me: *thinking* They told me that she was going to give me a nickname! *talking* Ok... Zess T.: After this, put this mix in a pie pan and put it in the oven. We have used an special pie pan: it will make the mix form the shape of a tart biscuit! Set it to a medium temperature for 20 minutes. Now let’s go with the honey, Miss Never-listens. Me: *while writing* -___- Zess T. Put the honey in another bowl and add some milk again but this time we’ll put 2 gelatine films. You have to soft the films in warm water before. After this mix them with the honey. Me: *writing* Yes... Zess T.: When you have it, put this mix in the fridge and wait 3 hours. Me: 3 hours?? Tayce T.: Meanwhile let’s play to something!! I’ve got cards! Zess T.: *to me* You have to remember to take the Cake Mix out of the oven! Me: Yay, but I don’t have good memory...

--After that 3 hours and taking out the Cake Mix...—

Zess T.: Now we have the two mixes. Take out the Cake Mix from the pan with caution. Me:  *writing* yes... Zess T.:Now, mix the honey a bit and put it in the Cake Mix. Remove what is left over with a spatula. Then put it in the fridge again and wait 5 minutes before eating it. Tayce T.: Let’s put some candy bees on and you have finished!! Zess.: Tayce!! Tayce T.: The cake is cuter now! Me: *thinking* That’s sisterly love! *talking* Thank you for cooking this dish for our readers! Tayce T.: Not at all!! Zess T.: She was talking to me!! Tayce T.: Well, let’s eat it! *she takes out some juice glasses* Me: *happy* Yay!! Zess T.: *facepalm*

Summary: Honey cake

Ingredients: Cake Mix, Honey Jar

1. Mix the Cake Mix with water, some milk and sugar. 2. Put it in a special pie pan and put all this in the oven. Set it to a medium temperature for 20 minutes. 3. Mix the honey with some milk and 2 soften gelatine films. When you have it, put all this in the fridge for 3 hours. 4. Take the Cake Mix out. Then, the honey. 5. Take out the cake mix with caution. 6. Pour the honey in the cake mix. Put the cake in the fridge and wait 5 minutes. 7. Tayce T.’s tip: If you want, put some candy bees on to decorate. 8. Enjoy!!

Thanks for being here reading, and, until next Cooking Guide!!

[[File:Font MonthlyInquisition.png]]
Written by:

Pyro: *dreamily* Hi...Pokemon White is awesome...I started it...then... General Guy: HELLO? Pyro: Oh sorry. Today we're interviewing General Guy. General Guy: Get on with it, soldier! Pyro: Waitwut? General Guy: We need to beat that Mario! He's coming to our Toybox! GO! GO! GO! Pyro: But- General Guy: NO BUTS! GO! Pyro: *walks out embarrassed* Invisible Audience: ... BMB: *peeks in* Ooh, Pyro's gone. Now I can take his place. Pyro: *suddenly walks in* GET OUT. BMB: *grunts* Wait, what did you do with General Guy? Pyro: I tied him to a chair! BMB: Mmm kay...*quitely*I'm calling the cops... Pyro: What did you say? BMB: Nothing. *runs out* Pyro: Now for our real guest: WATT! Watt: Hehehe! Pyro: Watt, tell the audience why you are so awesome. Goomba: BOO! YOU STINK! Watt: *cries* Pyro: Blah, YOU SEE? GET OUT YOU STUPID GOOMBA. Goomba: Waste of time. Watt: I WANT TO GO HOME! Pyro: No Watt! You can't go home! Police: PyroGuy, you are under arrest for taping General Guy to a chair. Pyro: But- Police: Tell it to the judge, kid.
 * police sirens*

BMB: Yay! Now I can take over! BMB: Oh...dang it...
 * lights turn off*

[[File:Font Ask3K.png]]
Written by:  (usually)

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…. You know the rest. Hello, I’m your friendly neighborhood ‘3K. I answer it so YOU don’t have to. Now that I’m done stealing the Nostalgia Critic’s catchphrase, let’s get into it. From UltimatePetey:  Is Bowser Jr. your favorite character? If so, how did you become to like him? I’m pretty sure that by now everyone knows that yes, he is my favorite character. As for why, that was covered in an earlier issue, March ’11, methinks.
 * ahem*

From Ralphfan: What do you think about the Carolina Panthers' chances this year, and what do you think about the rest of the NFC South? I’ll admit that I really haven’t been following the NFL since that whole lockout thing happened. I know that it’s over with now and the season will go on as planned. I’ll tell ya what: come back with this one after the season’s started. ;)

From Master Koopakid: What do you think of name changes being done by yourself being blocked? I like it, personally. It makes keeping track of who everyone is much easier.

From Koopaman:  Hi, Mr. '3K, Just wondering, what is your favorite Mario Spin-off? IMO, the best RPG is the original Paper Mario, and the best sport title is Mario Golf Toadstool Tour. It baffles me as to why so many people dislike this game. :(

From Fawful117:  What does your name even mean? MST3K? What is that? It’s nothing more than the abbreviation of the greatest TV show ever. Mystery Science Theater 3K = 3000

And finally, this one from Gamefreak75:  Capcom recently announced the cancellation of Mega Man Legends 3, the second Mega Man game canceled this year. What is your opinion on this and what do you think will happen to the future of the Mega Man series and Capcom? Hoo boy. Of course, I’m still in a mild nerd rage about this. The way Capcom handled this was to put it mildly, stupid. After all those months of fan involvement and fan submitted content that was going to be in the final product, they just go and pull the plug for no good reason whatsoever. So basically, the Devroom was a total waste of everyone’s time. It doesn’t help that Capcom Europe tweeted that the Devroom was to get the fans to develop the game for them, free of charge. Classy. Since then, we’ve gotten statements form them saying that Mega Man is still an important brand and so on and so forth. As for the future of the series, it’s hard to say. Archie’s comic series seems to be selling well, and I highly recommend checking out. There’s UDON’s work and all other kinds of merch out there. No games, sadly. I’m going to remain optimistic that there will be new games eventually coming out, even if they’re just more 8-bit throwback titles.

Y’all enjoy the festivities. I’ll see ya next month.