The 'Shroom:Issue LXXIII/Fake News

Fake News

Editorial
Huh? What are you doing here?

Expecting the Fake News? TOO BAD, WALUIGI TIME!



YES, THIS IS NOW THE WALUIGI NEWS.

Sorry, let's get back to the Fake News, which is what we're really doing. That was a late and hilarious April Fools joke. Are you not laughing?

Today we bid goodbye, as he leaves Ask Tucayo, and  as well, as he resigns from the Fake Sport section. It's a real shame to see the two of them go, but don't fret. Tucayo has a successor, whom you will find out at the very end of his section! And we've also gained another writer in, who now writes for the Fake Shop section.

Now to the matter of the Section of the Month. March's winner was Koohitsu's Monthly Inquisition, with a huge 67 votes! Yoshi K's game corner came second, followed by Pyro's Travel Guide, but congratulations to everyone!

So, that's about it. I'd really suggest you check out Ask Tucayo at the end, though. It's his last one, and he also reveals all...about his successor. Either way, enjoy!

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After escaping that pyramid by blowing it up, I was arrested for exploding a national park and sentanced to one minute in prison. MCD broke me out for two coins, because that's how much my life as a tourist is worth.

We all need a vacation, right? In fact, we need a vacation from the Mario universe! So I present to you...Mustard Mountain!

Found in the Mirror World, Mustard Mountain is an active volcano spouting with lava...err, life. The many lava geysers never cease to amaze, or at least until some idiot knocks the giant Stone Blocks over, closing them off. Like many stereotypical video game volcanoes and my very own mafia game, this volcano is filled with TREASURE. But oddly, the treasure is more like bouts of spray paint and fried chicken drumsticks.



The lava pools are very relaxing and can be a hot spring for people in very protective gear. Another attraction is the monthly Mustard Mountain Manly Mountain Ascent, with the A word added at the end to ruin the added alliterative appeal. People can sign up to see who can climb up the mountain first and claim the Maxim Tomato at the top. Of course, Kirby always wins by floating up to the top, and most others die in the lava or get lost. Fun event.

The local hotel is Bronto Burt's Brilliant Hotel, once again ruining alliterative appeal at the end. This hotel is special as it guarentees you'll be hit by a Bronto Burt eventually. Prices are 10(*)*)*JHFJ per night. No, I most certainly did not come up with a fake currency by smashing the keyboard and holding down the SHIFT key.

All meals are on the house at "Waddle Dee's Wonderful I'm Getting Sick of this Alliterative Stuff Diner". Main meals are fried Roly Polies, Maxim Tomatos, chicken drumsticks, lava soup, French Canada fries, Cake Mix, and Camtasia Studio. I went with the Cake Mix with a side of cherries. Yes, the eatery is great, not horrible~

^ That "~" was not me missing the "!" key on the laptop keyboard, nope.

So yeah. Go to Mustard Mountain, don't look at my arrest records, and don't listen to MC Hammer. Good night.

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Hello! Welcome back to the next edition of Gamer Guide. Hosted by yours truly, Yoshi K.

This month we have another new game, which is a sequel :D

General Info: Name: Mario Party 9 2 Console: Wii

Mario Party 9 2 is the sequel to Mario Party 9. In order to satisfy all gamers, Faketendo has decided to use the traditional game board format for Mario Party 10 and beyond, but has created this spinoff series (maybe we should just call a spinoff of a spinoff a dizzyoff, it makes me dizzy just thinking about it.)!

Mario Party 9 2 is a great game for those who liked MP9. (But for those of you who didn't it's basically the same as it, so don't buy it)

That's right folks! Faketendo has failed to get any new consumers with this MP9 clone! Since it's a clone of Mario Party 9, the best way to explain the gameplay is to play Mario Party 9! (Then again there's no point in buying it if you've played that)

God, these games that are coming out these days are so ridiculous, heck, the readers must think I'm writing about games that don't even exist!

Well, see you next month with another issue of Gamer Guide!

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Hello, my dear friends. It's your always greedy loving Chief Alexneushoorn. Today, I'll be reporting from my dad's attic, since I blew all my money on Chuckola Cola, police parties and Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon. Because of that, the government kicked me out of the HQ of Koopatrol Patrol Inc. (my agency) until I pay the rent and a penalty of 12 coins. Well, I got one story today. You better love it, because I barely got any time to wax my mustache.

1. King Boo's Dark Moon Breakdown

Professor Elvin Gadd was peacefully working in his lab in Evershade Valley. The Greenies were peacefully helping him. That was, until King Boo came and shattered the Dark Moon with a lightning bolt from his crown. The Greenies turned hostile and destroyed E. Gadd's lab. We from Koopatrol Patrol Inc. are currently looking for King Boo.

Well, that's all, folks. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to wax my 'stache. See you all next month at the same spot of Police Blotter.

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WELCOME TO ROGUEPORT'S WESTSIDE GOODS! Found in the western edge of the lovely city of Rogueport, Westside Goods is a small, but amazing shop run by Peeka, one of Don Pianta's right hand men (or women in this case). Here, you can find several helpful items at a guaranteed low, low price! Here's a short summary of the items on sale;

Life Shroom; Feeling like you're literally about to die? Pick one of these up, and you'll be up and alert in no time at all! Cost; 50 coins. Super Shroom; A delicious, healthy mushroom! Stock up on these and you might become immortal! Cost; 20 coins. Dried Shroom; A particularly rancid-tasting mushroom. They're rarely eaten, but are awesome when used for pranks! Cost; 2 coins. Volt Shroom; Wanting to rekindle that spark of love with your man or lady? These shrooms will do just that! and possibly electrocute your man or lady Cost; 10 coins. Thunder Bolt; Feeling groggy in the morning and don't have time to make coffee? Thunder Bolts will wake you right up with a small zap! Cost; 10 coins. Dizzy Dial; Hold it up to your enemies to make their heads spin! (literally) But be careful, hold it for too long, and it'll be like you just touched a Fuzzy! Cost; 12 coins.

And that is it for the great stock at Westside Goods. More information about other shops in other areas (or even dimensions) coming up in the next issue. This has been Goomba, signing out!

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HI, beautiful readers! I'm your departing counselor, Tucayo, bringing you one last issue of Ask Tucayo! In case you didn't read the previous installment, I will be ending Ask Tucayo this month, to focus on other projects. But don't cry for me (ok, who am I kidding, no one is crying, but anyway), for I have an announcement you'll certainly enjoy. But first, you'll have to read through the questions once again; let's go!

Police blotter writer,, wants to know:


 * WHY ARE YOU STOPPING ASK TUCAYO????
 * HELLO! THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION YOU GOT THERE!! AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT! Anyway, to answer your question; I will be stopping Ask Tucayo in order to focus on my directing tasks, as well as the two other sections I write. I didn't really want to end Ask Tucayo halfway through the year, but with college and whatnot I barely have enough time to take care of my other tasks.

Some users are special, this is just aregularforumuser (literally). Bad puns aside, he asks:


 * Why did you want to make ask *insert user here*? Did you miss it after 3k stopped?
 * Few people may know this, and I had actually forgotten it, but this section wasn't originally Ask Tucayo. For the Fake News in Issue XII, there was supposed to be an Ask Jorge section, written by, that never came to be. About a year later, I brought up in chat how I was thinking about making a reboot of the section, but assuming the personality of Saria… And now this is where my memory fails me. If I remember correctly, Jorge was there and expressed interest in returning to the position; I agreed and signed him up for it, although he never wrote it. A couple of years passed and I decided to take it upon myself to bring back this section that sounded to interesting to me, and so I did. My version of the section had a six-issue run, and, after that, took over Ask Tucayo, obviously renaming it Ask '3K. Over a year later, 3K announced he didn't have the time to carry on with the section; so, starting on Issue 64, I returned for a second run of Ask Tucayo. So yes, you could say I missed the section.

Tantusar, whose name I had misread as "Tantasaur", wants to know:


 * Is there any chance of Ask Tucayo ever coming back?
 * I don't want to give anyone false hopes, so I'll say no, I don't see myself returning to this section as the regular writer. Maybe for a special section in a distant future, but I have no current plans; I'll just focus on my other sections for the time being. I'll be sure to send in questions for the next writer.

And for the big finale, we have my good boss,, asking ten questions. Which is pretty awesome, since I get paid for the question: (DIRECTOR'S NOTE: TUCAYO DOES NOT GET PAID FOR EACH QUESTION)


 * I can't remember if anyone's asked you this before (I'm the best director ever!), but what is your favourite/are your favourite bands? If somebody has, favourite game.
 * The part on the parenthesis is rather arguable, you're not as good looking as the Fun Stuff Director from late-2010. I don't think anyone has, I have been asked about my favourite Coldplay songs, but I haven't been asked that, at least not recently. My favorite bands are, in no particular order; Coldplay, U2, The Killers, and Muse. There are many other bands I greatly enjoy – Queen, Pink Floyd, The Rolling Stones, Mumford and Sons, Kings of Leon, The Who, Foo Fighters – but those first four are the ones I can say I like the most. Of those four, I have seen three live (Muse being the one I haven't), so that makes me happy. As for my favourite game… You asked me for my favoruite N64 game back in Issue 64 (you're so unoriginal), but these are my favourite games, regardless of consoles. It's actually a close tie between Super Mario World, Paper Mario, and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. However, I get the feeling that when I finish Fallout 3, I'll rank it among those three.


 * Who would you like as an ideal replacement for the "Ask ____" section?
 * Kim Jong-un. Or Bill Clinton. But since neither accepted my invitation, I had to settle for someone else. Keep reading to find who he is.


 * Which position are you applying for?
 * Ask Tucayo


 * Writers have the choice to submit sections monthly, bi-monthly (every other month), or volunteer-based (one-time submission). Please select which section plan you would like to observe.
 * Month—WAIT! I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE!


 * The staff reserves the right to remove writers from their position if they engage in activities that reflect badly on The 'Shroom. These activities include extensive misbehavior on the Super Mario Wiki and/or its forums. Do you agree to not engage in such activities for the entire duration of your employment?
 * YOU'RE LURING ME BACK INTO APPLYING AGAIN!! AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!


 * Please write a full-length demo of your section. That way, we can have a bit of your work to decide if you can be on the team.

Ask Tucayo By You know who...

So, welcome to this new section. What is this about? Well, you NEED TO PM me a question, it can be about ANYTHING, and then I'll answer it in the next month's issue. Go. Now.


 * Sorry, your application was denied.
 * WHAT?! YOU FIRST TRICK ME INTO APPLYING AGAIN AND THEN DENY MY APPLICATION!? YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME!


 * Plz go.
 * FINE, I'LL GO! BY MY OWN CHOICE! *slams door*


 * How do you feel about leaving Ask Tucayo?
 * On one hand, I feel a little sad to leave it, since this is a section I really liked; but, on the other hand, I feel relieved, since college has been taking most of my free time, and writing sections has become more and more difficult for me. But, above all, I feel confident my successor will do a spectacular job. And nope, you still need to keep reading to find who he is.


 * I've asked too many questions, so this isn't a question.
 * Dammit, MCD! We can't end this with a regular sentence!

Since MCD's last "question" wasn't a question, I'll ask myself the legendary last question:


 * Is this the last question?
 * And for once, I know the correct answer. Yes, that is the last question. Thank you so much for reading this section, I hope you had a good time, just as I had a good time answering your questions.

Without further ado, I want to present my successor, ! He may not be Clinton or Kim, but Paper Yoshi is one of the best writers we have ever had, as well as an excellent Core Staff member, so I'm sure he'll do a superb job. Again, thanks to everyone for reading. BYE and good luck, P_Y!