The 'Shroom:Issue 147/Fake News

Editorial


The Fake News will peak when every section covers real, actual news; when the joke is that the joke has been subverted. Then it will be called the "Fake Fake News". This was told to me in a dream.

For now, enjoy the Fake News in its current state. But never forget that change marches on.

Section of the Month

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Good evening, viewers, from MKBC6, with your weather forecast for the week ahead.

This week, temperatures will stay in the mid to upper 60s as rain moves in for the weekend. Watch out for storms on Sunday that may turn severe with damaging winds, possible hail, and lightning strikes.

Have a look at this week's Treehouse forecast, where we'll keep you up to date on what you can expect for your viewing conditions.

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Plessie In this world where Mushrooms make you grow larger, and cherries split you into an exact double of yourself, something incredibly strange has happened. My editor has asked me to write the obituary of a creature that went extinct some 65 million years ago, with that creature being Plessie.

I was sent to World 1-4 of the Sprixie Kingdom, which is an incredibly weird name for a town. Why not something like Loughborough? Or Reading? Or even Cincinnati? Unfortunately, however, the locals proved to be stark-raving bonkers as they kept insisting to me that Plessie had only died on Tuesday. They also attempted to tell me that he had died as a result of a large fall over the waterfalls instead of a meteor strike. Honestly, no wonder Bowser easily captured all of their princesses.

So my trip to the Sprixie Kingdom wasn't entirely wasted, The 'Shroom doesn't pay travel expenses after all, I decided to humour the locals so I could gather some information on Plessie. One Sprixie told me that she used to supervise Plessie before he went down the waterfall, perhaps raising the possibility that Sprixies are eternal creatures who don't age, or sticking by my original theory in which they are all crazy. I would have attempted to interview the Sprixie Princesses, but seeing as they died in one my first Obituaries, I decided they probably wouldn't accept my phone calls.

I was informed that Plessie's funeral would be held next week, but I was sadly hounded out of the Sprixie Kingdom when I attempted to enquire as to whether funerals for the rest of the dinosaurs who perished in the meteor strike would be held. If 65 million years ago still qualifies as 'too soon' when can you make jokes about people's deaths?

''EDITOR'S NOTE: Our writer has been disciplined for acting insensitively towards the friends of Plessie. He has since been informed that Plessie really did die recently, and that other dinosaurs, like Yoshis, do exist within the Mushroom Kingdom. Our writer has since been sent on a dinosaur awareness course to make sure that future incidents like this don't happen again.''

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Welcome back to TV Tomorrow, which despite having perhaps the strangest attempts at unique humour and captivating writing still manages to top the Fake News Article of the Month list almost every issue. At least I’m doing something right. Anyway, the Mushroom Kingdom is brimming with interesting programmes tomorrow, so without further ado I’ll introduce my top three shows for tomorrow!



New: Shy Biker Party Channel, 9.30pm Genre: Comedy-drama Shy Biker is an amusing story brought to you by up-and-coming star Shy Guy, who stars as a fictionalised version of himself who enters a motorcycle race despite not actually knowing how to drive a motorcycle. The eight-part series documents his journey to compete in the race and claim victory. Both humorous and oddly inspiring.



Yoshi’s Wildlife World: Aquatic Edition MKBC2, 6pm Genre: Wildlife programme Yoshi’s Wildlife World makes a triumphant return to MKBC2 with the Aquatic Edition. The third episode, focusing on the oft-forgotten Fish Bones, airs tomorrow, and once again Yoshi’s extravagant and enrapturing presentation style really helps to enhance an already brilliant look at the biological mysteries of the Mushroom Kingdom’s oceanic depths.



Baseball Live from Mario Stadium MKBC Sports, 3pm Genre: Baseball A competitive baseball match takes place at Mario Stadium tomorrow between the Daisy Flowers and the DK Wilds. The Daisy Flowers have been having a run of good form recently - their eponymous captain especially - but can they keep that up? It will be an enthralling game, and MKBC Sports will be reporting on it all afternoon.

The summer always brings in new television spectacles in the Mushroom Kingdom, and I heartily encourage you to look beyond my choices. You might just find something surprisingly good. Then again, you might end up on one of those infomercial-filled shopping channels run by Wario and Waluigi, so perhaps it’s best if you trust me for now. See you in July!

Selling Out
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Selling Out Issue XIII: Becoming the Realest in Estate Dealing

From the Author Hey everyone so I have an important announcement to make. This is the penultimate issue of Selling Out and the section will conclude in August. After thinking on it, while I have enjoyed this section it is getting a little stale and I would like to end on a note where quality is not severely compromised. Worry not though. I will still be working on ‘Shroom Recap and hopefully two smaller sections by the start of next year!

Introduction Realah T. would like to impart one last bit of advice to her fans. Since she won’t be here to give you real estate advice she will teach you how to join the real estate business and do something in a world full of Propah T.’s and their lackeys.



Getting Started There are some minimum requirements to start being a real estate agent. Most of these are age and education requirements. You will need to be a legal adult and possess a high school diploma or GED. Keep in mind though that these will vary from state to state and may not be exactly the same as what is listed here.

Education Each state has requirements on a number of pre-licensing instruction hours that will need to be received in order to proceed in the application process. Many states vary from 40 to 60 as is the case with Massachuttess and Arkansas respectively. Though others, like California which requires 135 hours, will fall outside of this range.

In addition to pre-licensing hours some states also require continuing education for agents in order to keep their license active and valid’ Kansas for example requires its agents to take 12 hours of courses in order to be eligible for renewal.

The Exam All state programs require potential agents to pass an exam in order to receive their license. These scores also vary and can be overall percentages or passing a certain number of questions per section such as Alaska which requires 70% for salespersons and Virginia which requires 56/80 questions on the national portion and 30/40 on the state portion of the exam.



Further Tips After getting your license you will typically be required to have experience before you can set up your own firm. Working in a licensed practice will be a useful way to go about this. And while on the job it is important to consider another factor. Savings.

As commissions do not come regularly for most agents, it will be important to have the necessary funds to be able to survive between closings and the sudden influx of cash from that big check cut just for you. Budgeting skills and other means of fiscal responsibility will be extremely helpful while starting out.

Finally, in order to establish yourself well within your local area it will help to keep up to date on all the happenings nearby as well as any new laws or regulations that are passed, This and honest and friendly dealings will help get you started in the wonderfully bizarre world of property sales.

Closing Remarks Though this is far from a comprehensive guide it will help you get an idea of the very involved licensing process that comes with being involved in real estate. For more information please contact local agents in your area for any questions as they will likely be up to date on any information concerning the profession and be able to provide details this guide can not.