The 'Shroom:Issue 129/Critic Corner

http://www.mariowiki.com/images/6/6b/XLights2.gif http://www.mariowiki.com/images/6/6b/XLights2.gif http://www.mariowiki.com/images/6/6b/XLights2.gif http://www.mariowiki.com/images/6/6b/XLights2.gif http://www.mariowiki.com/images/6/6b/XLights2.gif http://www.mariowiki.com/images/6/6b/XLights2.gif http://www.mariowiki.com/images/6/6b/XLights2.gif



Director's Notes
Written by: Here we are, it's finally December! Month of many holidays and seasonal events in games like Pokémon GO and Overwatch that make me excited! I don't know about everywhere else but at least for me I've already received several weeks of snow reaching about 2 feet deep, only for it to all be melted just in time for Christmas. This month we're holding a holiday theme to celebrate this time of literally dozens of holidays, festivals, celebrations, and all kinds of traditions, so you'll notice that many of our sections in Critic Corner and throughout The 'Shroom will be

Thank you for your votes making my Half-Baked Reviews November's CC Section of the Month! Congrats also to, , respectively for their placements! We also give a fond farewell to PowerKamek's Marioverse Reviews! He's been writing for 2 solid years so it's sad to see him go, so be sure to check out his last section (for now!) with us. In lieu of creating a GoFundMe to finance a Mario game library to hold PowerKamek with us forever, if you are interested in taking over Marioverse Reviews please send your application to as per the directions on The 'Shroom:Sign Up.

Call for submissions: Critic Corner's Review 2017! Last but not least, with this being December, 2017 is about to come to a close! For the next month I will be collecting entries for a special section to be posted in January called Review 2017! Do anything fun this last year? Hit any milestones? Anything you didn't like? Try anything new? Got any resolutions for 2018? Tell us all about it! Just PM your 2017 Review to me on the forum by January 13th and I'll pile them all together later. Reminisce, complain, do whatever! It can be as long or as brief as you like! Give 2017 one last look back before you kick it out the door to give 2018 an ample warning. Section of the Month

Could Have Been
Written by: Hello everyone! My name is Alex95 and welcome to "Could Have Been". In this segment, I talk about features that didn't quite make it into a game's final release and see just how the cut content would've affected the game. Since this issue of The 'Shroom is based on the Wii U, I thought I'd take a look at the first Mario title released for the system: New Super Mario Bros. U. So let's jump right in and take a look at what could have been. First shown at E3 2011 was a tech demo for the Wii U known as New Super Mario Bros. Mii, which had Mario, Luigi, Blue Toad, and Yellow Toad jump around various courses alongside Miis. The courses became levels found in the main story, which is not possible to explore as a Mii, though Miis are able to be used in the final game's challenge modes. They were likely removed to keep the main game centered on Mario, though I don't know why they weren't used for multiplayer story mode. All the characters act the same, so it's not like they would've changed anything. Moving on, we have this "Sample" image on the left. It's grouped with the other Challenge Mode images that show what type of level the challenge takes place on. This image, however, uses assets from New Super Mario Bros. Wii, namely the tileset, flowers, and background. The castle in the background also goes unused. Speaking of New Super Mario Bros. Wii, New Super Mario Bros. U has several unused assets from there, including every leftover it had from the original New Super Mario Bros. and everything that was created for Wii, but still goes unused anyway! It seriously looks like the developers copy and pasted Wii to the Wii U and worked from there. For example, there are small and large Ice Snake Blocks, a frozen Muncher, ? Blocks that float on water, wind, various backgrounds, and rising and falling Bill Blasters. There are some unused codes unique to U as well, such as various particle effects like fog or stars, and ? Blocks that contain Bubble Baby Yoshis and Balloon Baby Yoshis. In the final game, only the Glowing Baby Yoshis are found in ? Blocks, with the others found on the world map. And speaking of the world map, there's an unused version of it, too! There's an incredibly simplified version of the world map in the graphics data, meant to give the programmers a general layout of environments to work with. You can see Acorn Plains, Layer-Cake Desert, Frosted Glacier, Sparkling Waters, Soda Jungle, Rock-Candy Mines, Meringue Clouds, Peach's Castle, and some secret paths between them. What's interesting is you can also see Superstar Road on this map, implying there didn't use to be a portal of sorts at the start. There's also no Secret Island, but Nabbit was planned pretty early on, though he went through a few design changes as seen in this image. For some random bits, Boost Mode was originally named "Assist Mode" or "Assist Play", there are unused course icons, and Munchers don't harm Yoshi despite the two not appearing in the same levels. The Swaying Ghost House level also was originally much different, just about every room was designed differently. There are plenty more images and code that I can't fit in this section (I think Anton would get mad if I filled this page of The 'Shroom with just Could Have Been stuff), so be sure to check out our page or The Cutting Room Floor's page on this stuff. Until next time, I'll see you around!

[[File:AntonHalfBakedLogo.png]]
Written By:

Hello hello welcome to the annual month of December, a long tradition we’ve been running for about 2500 years now! To celebrate December, cultures from all around the world decided to cram 30-something or so holidays, depending on how you count, into this month. Because of the RNG of which vessel my spirit was deposited for ripening in, I happen to vaguely observe the general feeling of Christmas, the highest holiday of the year in which white people celebrate the appropriation of other cultures and their holidays to then turn and declare it as their own. One way to honor this is to pledge fealty to Father Capitalism and Mother Media, giving them strength and power to fight Santa the Red and his evil socialism, which I will do now by watching an age-old Christmas movie, Die Hard. But first, two holidayish food reviews. Walnut Milk It’s not chestnuts roasting over an open fire, but honestly walnuts milked in a french press is close enough, with an equal amount of innuendo. Elmhurst Milked Walnuts, which I guess is another dairy-free milk alternative, touting itself as having 8 whole walnuts per glass, with no thickeners, emulsifiers, or stabilizers like guar gum, xanthan gum, soy lecithin, or gellan gum. The company itself is apparently somewhat local to me, being just under an hour away, and prides itself in having a goal of sustainability, creating a healthier product for not only people but the environment as well, with packaging designed to create a smaller carbon footprint and a process that eliminates hazardous chemicals, help prevent loss of forests and ecosystems, protecting water quality and old-growth forests, and even requires its company and sources of materials to engage in the community and protect customary rights of indigenous people. WOWZERS that’s a lot of stuff that basically no other company acknowledges, especially the community aspect since a lot of vegan and vegetarian brands and practitioners stomp all over native lands and people. I literally had no idea what to expect since I’ve never experienced any alternative milk products (soy, almond, whatever) ever at all. Not wanting to risk anything, I poured it into a glass so I could inspect it. It had some like...diluted chocolate milk color to it, and smelled like pancake batter but from like 3 rooms away. The smell confused me for a bit so I just kinda sat and stared at it trying to imagine was it eggs??? bread??? until I remembered that pancakes exist. The smell was accurate as it tasted like they sieved some pancake or waffle batter to get out the chunks and then mixed it with a 1:5 ratio with water. It didn’t necessarily have a bad aftertaste but it definitely made my mouth and throat feel like it was glazed over with something but still oddly dry and parched, and I had to quickly chug some real genuine 2% milk before I completely withered. Honestly it might not have been that bad had it been a bit thicker and maybe not walnuts since they’re not that good to begin with. I might try some kind of more name brand almond milk later on with an express purpose to get one that does have thickeners, emulsifiers, and stabilizers. With how honest and good-natured of a company this seems to be, I’ll likely make an effort for one of their products to be at least tried out further to see if it was just this flavor that was blegh. At $5 a quart, though, they’ll have to catch me on a day where my will is weak to wild spending habits. Rating:  Peanut Lover’s Chex Mix Explanation: It’s a good concept, with a wholesome intent and purpose, but it just absolutely does not hit the mark or taste like what you were expecting. It’s not necessarily bad, but it just tastes so bland and like a waste of money, but you know that if you don’t buy it every now and then that General Mills will assume they should just stop producing anything with peanuts or peanut butter in general. Salted Caramel Pepsi I hate the flavor to begin with, despite liking each part of the pair separately, but a friend bought it for me fo $2 without me asking him to do so after I pointed out that it existed and would probably taste like garbage, so I guess I’m going to try it. I have heard nothing good about this soda, but given how Pepsi Fire went I feel it’s only fair to give this one a fair shot.

So, well, I tried it. Smelled and tasted a bit strong but ultimately like nothing. I mixed it with some vanilla ice cream to make a float since it just tasted like over-concentrated stale pepsi, and it tasted kinda ok but still ultimately like nothing. That’s all the review this deserves. Don’t waste your money, even if you’re a fan of salt, caramel, or both, and instead just buy some caramel candy or something. Rating:  An entire bag of Muddy Buddies Explanation: You know from last time that you’re probably going to end up just choking and clawing your way back to the fridge to get something else to drink, but someone bought you a bag for Christmas or your birthday or something and you just can’t let it go to waste. It’s not objectively bad but it’s just too much and it’s quickly overwhelming to the point that it’s no longer enjoyable. https://ltquick.nl/a6AmkJ2.png

Watch Die Hard About a year ago suggested this movie to me for a review during December, as it was a Christmas movie as he put it. For some reason I can’t remember I never got around to it, so here I am this year doing it! I only know two things about this movie prior to seeing it: Christmas and feet. Basically every commercial now for like TVs or whatever keep referencing Die Hard as a Christmas movie, and it seems to be a common joke as of the last however many years. Many people have taken it upon themselves to embed this into their holiday traditions, which I honestly think is pretty neat. The other thing being that apparently the main dude is barefoot the whole time and that it’s constantly referenced. This review will have spoilers of like literally the entire movie so don’t read this until later. Anton Rambling about Things that Happened So, getting to watching it, here I am about to do my vague rambling play-by-play based on notes I wrote while watching it as I do to other things I actively experience before I get to reviewing it, which in turn will also serve as the commentary that has been waiting for me to give. The opening scene right away features some dude on a plane telling the main protagonist, John McClane (played by Bruce Willis) to take off his socks and shoes and to curl his toes, starting off the movie on an amazing note that satisfies one of two parts of my preconception. John’s walk through the airport is basically a montage of signals of its era or his characterization: smoking in a public location (at an airport, no less!) to show the complete lawlessness of the 1980s, carrying a giant teddy bear to show he has love for his family or whoever, an immediate caveat about his troubled marriage, and then insisting on riding in the front of a limo with the driver, Argyle. John states that he’s a New York cop who stayed home while his wife moved away for work in Los Angeles with the family. After turning on some kind of 80’s hip hop music, John is like “wat’s this” and Argyle says “This is Christmas music”, heralding Die Hard’s own fate as an unexpected Christmas movie by virtue of it falling on December 24th in-universe. John arrives at Nakatomi Plaza, and goes to the front desk where he makes some commentary about the “Cute toy” that is a basic computer directory, aged very poorly for the interaction to be all about how it’s top-of-the-line incredible future tech, on which John discovers that his wife Holly uses different last name. John then wanders in to find Holly at some very fancy Christmas party inside the building, where she’s schmoozing with some obnoxious aged frat bro-type dude, Harry Ellis, doing coke, who makes sure to let John know that Holly is wearing a Rolex watch that he got her. Holly, who is showing signs of being a tough and powerful 1980’s businesswoman, seems glad to see him, but they eventually have an argument over the name change. During this there’s a bunch of dramatic musical cues which honestly come off as more comedic than anything, where there’s some delivery truck driving around menacingly. The scene then cuts to John doing the toe thing that was suggested in the beginning, with the camera focusing on his bare feet for some time, and then to the limo driver, Argyle, still in the garage just chillin’. While John talks to Argyle and does foot stuff, a bunch of eccentric cartoon villain terrorists suddenly just start killing people, while some hacker dude locks elevators, windows, entrances, and exits. All of these terrorist guys look like a ragtag band of villain archetypes who gave up whatever movie they were in to come and do whatever this one’s about. John escapes. At this point in the movie I’m wondering where their motivation is, since this kinda just like suddenly happens and overtakes the marriage drama and foot plot. Just in time for me to be about to complain about it, the leader of these dudes, Hans Gruber, states his motivation I guess but the accent is thick and he talks quietly, and asks for Takagi or whoever during some weird monologue to give off some aura that he has a personal vendetta or something political and knows a lot about the business and everyone there. Holly seems smart in this situation, and tries to protect Takagi, but he gives himself up for whatever reason. Gruber then takes him into another room and gives a supervillain monologue, wherein he says something like “I can talk about men’s fashion all day”, like, wow way to lowball some standard villain gay coding but I ate it all up anyways and was entertained by the quirky reference. Apparently he wants $600 million or some other number from the vault and needs some code, of which Takagi won’t give up. Meanwhile John is slinking around all over the place being all kinda blasé about it. Suddenly Gruber kills the owner dude after calling his bluff. Lots of blood. “You’ll have to kill me.” “OK *blam*” And also the terrorists have a missile??? Argyle still in the car just chillin’. John finally starts showing adrenaline after being relatively casual about this all, and starts yelling when he realizes that the cops aren’t coming. The screaming catches the attention of who I can only figure is the German Jeffrey Dahmer, who starts hunting for him. The rough around some and eventually John gets the upper hand. The German dude then says “There are rules for policemen” as a way to taunt John for hesitating killing him. John then fights him for reals this time and they tumble down some stairs where Dahmer breaks his neck. John kinda glances around and is like “oh well ok” about it all and collects his gear. The camera then pans down to Dahmer’s now-bare feet, because of course there needs to be another foot shot, where in this one John takes his shoes, and immediately gets rid of them again, which said was because they didn’t fit but I’m sure that it’s because John just wanted to privately exercise his foot fetish and then continue running around barefoot. The implication from this scene, though, is that the terrorist dude wasn’t wearing socks with his shoes, and honestly that’s a crime on par with whatever else they’ve got going on here. In what I can only imagine was a taunt to get the bad guys nervous and not try anything too funny was that John sent down the body of German Dahmer, who is now completely unrecognizable now that his glasses are gone and his swoopy bangs aren’t visible, in the elevator with “Now I have a machine gun ho ho ho” written on his sweater. Holly realizes it’s John intervening, while Ellis the coke man is being as annoying as possible and doubting it. John tries to send a radio call out from the roof, but the call center doesn’t believe him for reasons I can’t seem to grasp other than to throw another “the system is against him” wrench into the mix. Some bumbling cop, Al Powell, who I immediately recognized as being that black copy dude who’s always in cop memes that I now realize are about Die Hard, getting a bunch of snacks gets sent to check it all out. Meanwhile, Dahmer’s brother Karl goes to avenge his brother and triggers a shootout, but John gets away and escapes into the ceiling vents, which I immediately recognized because I guess it’s an iconic scene. One-liners everywhere. Sergeant Powell finally shows up, and John tries to get his attention as people shoot at him. It’s not working so John throws the body of one of the baddies out of the window onto the cop car as a last ditch effort, which of course works. This entire array of fight scenes and its conclusion really summarize some strange brand of what I guess is dark humor, because it’s really comical what’s going on and how it’s going down, but the content is 30 people held hostage and life-or-death shootings regularly resulting in death. John gets on the radio and messes around with Hans for some reason, all of who are in a threeway communication triangle with the police, while also telling them information about the situation and refusing to identify himself. Some higher-up cop dude doesn’t believe John at all and is kinda being really annoying for basically no reason. Holly confronts Hans and makes requests as she snoops, making note to use her maiden name and revealing that she’s now the one in charge of the business now that Takagi was killed. This is a nice display of power from her end but like…….where does it lead?? Does it have any effect beyond getting her coworker a softer chair to sit on? Also meanwhile there’s suddenly reporter drama. News trucks show up and Argyle finally realizes what’s up. The LAPD Deputy Chief or whatever he is is comically grumpy, absolutely won’t listen to Sergeant Al Powell, and is about to storm the building. Honestly why doesn’t the chief dude just fire Al right there and order him to leave, like, he’s fully in the power to do such a thing, but instead he’s just taking a brutal verbal beatdown from Al the entire time. The raid is shot at, and an armored vehicle drives up in an attempt to ram, but is blown up with rocket, showing that the LAPD has basically no control over the situation and is overwhelmed by a couple of thieves with explody stuff. John rigs a C4 bomb thing and blows up basically the entire floor where they’re shooting missiles from, and promptly gets on the radio to rip the deputy chief apart. Ellis the physical representation of white collar crime goes to talk to Hans, looking like a full-force Scott Disick straight from the tabloids, offers to give up John, and offers to negotiate with John and asks for the detonators. After Ellis tries to make himself look more important than he really is to John, with John pleading to stop lying, he is shot and killed. Satisfying. Like I’m really not sure if this is supposed to be gut-wrenching or tear-jerking beyond the basic “ono bad man got another one, shucks!” because Ellis was a terrible person. The Deputy Chief is ridiculously wrong about everything, still, and bounding far beyond the line of being an unintentional cartoon villain, trying to maintain control of the scenario. Hans demands the release of captured terrorists across the globe, feigning a political motivation, and the deputy chief bows to it. Suddenly the FBI shows up and is super serious, immediately booting out the LAPD, completely ending that subplot thankfully because it was nothing but a combination of frustration and unnecessary vindication of Sergeant Powell who really doesn’t need it. Hans finds John somehow that I don’t know because it happened in the 7 seconds it took me to write that previous note, but pretends to be a hostage and hooks up with John, where John tells him info and gives him a gun. Hans points it at him and asks for the detonators, but John out-4d Chesses him and reveals he gave him no bullets, thankfully because I was just about to get angry because I know John had seen Hans’ face before and shouldn’t have fallen for this. Another shootout. Hans shoots down some glass to take advantage of John being barefoot, and gets detonators back, leading to yet another foot-focus scene but this time featuring foot gore and multiple sole-focus shots to emphasize the damage. The FBI demands to shut the building’s power off, which plays into Hans’ hands and opens the vault. As celebratory Christmas music plays for the robbers, and the law enforcement looks to be wholly ineffective, John realizes he’s about to make a final stand and asks Sergeant Powell to tell his wife to give an apology for like...everything, I guess. During this, John discovers that the building is rigged to blow, but is found by Karl who he then fights. The reporters from earlier barge into John’s house to talk to kids, and put on the television his personal information including that John and Holly are married, which Hans promptly makes a full realization of and takes her hostage. So blah blah another fight and John ends up hanging Karl, and gets to roof to find Holly and get everyone back downstairs. John jumps from roof as it blows up, killing the FBI in their helicopter after simultaneously humanizing them and making them unintentional villains. Argyle finally gets some more screen time and rams his limo into the evil truck trying to escape and punches Theo, I guess leaving him the only crony left alive which is alright because he had the most personality. Hans continues holding Holly hostage even though I was hoping for him to punch him or something to coalesce her show of strength. Instead, John shoots him after saying yippee-ki-yay for some reason and he falls through window. Hans grabs Holly and dangles by her hand. John unlatches the Rolex watch that Ellis gave her, freeing her from Hans’ hold as he falls to his death. Symbolism. As they escape the building, John finds the cop and Holly introduces herself as “Holly McClane”. Development. Karl is alive apparently but Sergeant Powell kills him after deciding to pick up a gun again. A true Christmas story. The reporter who screwed everything up teleports back to the plaza and asks questions, but Holly punches him. “Let it snow” plays, then the closing credits. Final Thoughts Overall it was a good, fun movie, with most of my criticisms coming from thinking about it all. It evokes the true holiday experience: being held hostage at a party while you crawl around trying to escape. In good form, the movie gives John a bunch of characterization without really delving deep into it, such as his backstory at the NYPD and disrespect of authority and rules, setting up sequel bait to go further into him as a character. It was also excellent with setting up future scenarios and giving visual cues, and dropping enough symbolism to drive some kind of deeper meaning and plot, keeping a good balance between superficial and thoughtful. Even as for all of the foot nonsense, the visuals of it were a pretty good show of the progression of chaos and destruction, as well as the effort John is putting in. The camera panning down to his continuously messy and beat up feet served as an ever-present reminder of the danger John was in and his willingness for self-immolation to protect his wife and the innocent. I’m not too sure what system was supposed to be against John McClane because it seemed to be literally all of them: The cops back at his own department, the cops in LA, the dispatch center, the FBI, the media, his wife for a while, her coworkers, the terrorists, like I really don’t know exactly who he stuck it to by succeeding and if it served as any social commentary beyond “John McClane is a rough and ready cop to do anything to do what’s right”. Everyone except John and Holly were so bumbling and ineffective to the point that it ended up launching John McClane to basically a Mary Sue, where his only flaws ended up being resolved second-handedly through his anime protag actions, and I could’ve absolutely done without all of the constant outside characters popping up just to be annoying and make things hard. I’m also not too sure how I felt about one of the movie’s big climactic happy moments being a cop, who previously vowed never to use a gun again because he accidentally shot (and killed?) a kid who was playing with a toy all because he was trigger happy and didn’t follow protocol, getting the ‘courage’ to use his gun again to unload an entire clip or two into a guy. At the very least, it was this moment that really was the badly aged film coup de grâce that made me appreciate how our society has changed. The blend of humor and wild violence reminds me of the intent of modern action movies today; whether Die Hard was just ahead of its time, or serving as a classic to be forever-referenced, is a debate I’ll leave to people who know more about this kinda stuff like who has told me he hasn’t seen this film. Everyone go cyberbully him to review it soon. Rating: Expired bag of Chex Mix Explanation: You bought it, you know it was once great, and it’s not its fault that we experience time linearly. It actually still tastes alright but every now and then you get a stale breadstick and you gotta take a deep breath, chug some soda to reset your palate, and just resume because who are you fooling? You’re going to finish it and you’re going to like it.

Tune in next month where I review ...something! Also, tell me what to review next! Here’s my Steam Inventory filled with games I haven’t played for some ideas, but things you can tell me to do can also be movies, shows, physical actions, trying new foods, music, literally anything and I’ll cover it eventually if it’s not too ridiculous. Just send me a message here on my talk page or PM it to me on the forum. Don't like what I have to say? That's fine, and probably bound to happen because I've been told about how much people like Super Mario 64 and how they feel about any criticism of it! We at Critic Corner will welcome your alternate review of it as a new section for the next issue!

Marioverse Reviews
Written by:



Hi everyone! It's PowerKamek writing in December when it's so cold! This is my last issue, and I will have a heartfelt message to you on the last paragraph! Anyway, today, I will be reviewing possibly the best Mario Game of all time: Super Mario Odyssey!

Super Mario Odyssey came out on October 27, 2017 on the Nintendo Switch. It received very positive reviews and even got the best rates game ever on Gamerankings.com. I'm going to review the positives first then the negatives last.

Super Mario Odyssey does not disappoint at all! There is millions to do in that game. Yes. I'm over exaggerating. Instead of stars, there's moons, and there are 1000 in the whole game! There's also purple coins to collect, and you could buy outfits with them, and each Kingdom has it's own outfit. There is a secret door in (almost) every Kingdom that you will only be allowed to enter if you have that outfit on. The main outfit only is 15 purple coins. As a matter of fact, there are 17 kingdoms in the game, so there are SO many to explore! Each Kingdom is filled with beautiful visuals, and they are all beautifully designed!y favorite Kingdom is obviously Metro Kingdom, because there is a lot of fun in it! You could climb buildings, meet Pauline, see humans, drive a scooter, and best of all- be in Pauline's concert! There are so many fun things to do in this game, and I can't explain them all! I won't talk about the Bowser Battle, because that's a spoiler. If I had to pick my least favorite Kingdom, it would be Cloud Kingdom, because there's not much to do there. Also, there are lots of nostalgic references to Super Mario Bros., And some of Super Mario 64. That's awesome!

Ok, there is only one thing I really don't like about this game. Two player mode. I hate two player mode because you can't really control Cappy as much on a two player. It didn't seem as gun like that. That's it though!

Ok, I will give this game a 10/10. It's awesome!!! This game is my most favorite Mario game of all time! I'm totally addicted to it. When I'm playing, I don't wanna stop! My grandma can't even stop playing it! She asked me to play it every single day since it released! So this game is 100% worth it!

As you guys may know, this is my last issue writing for Marioverse Reviews. I decided to stop writing because I write about every Mario Game I own, and it's getting really hard to keep writing, since I don't buy games every single month. But I may review a new Mario Game again when it releases in the future. It has been fun writing for the Marioverse Reviews for 2 years straight! I will miss writing this, and I'm glad most of you liked reading my Marioverse Reviews! Thank you to all who took time to read some of my corny reviews! I hope you enjoy this issue of The 'Shroom, and you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

World Wide Weeb
by

Nisekoi Review

Disclaimer: The contents of this review do not necessarily represent the actual views of the reviewer. There are overstatements around every corner. Do not let yourself get fooled though, the anime and the manga still suck.

True Despair.

Before we begin I would like to mention one thing. This isn't merely a review. This is also the journal of a quest I went on last year. A religious pilgrimage, with the single goal of restoring order and balance to the world, and to preserve good quality and a fresh scent throughout the lands. This journey... has failed. In fact, merely thinking about it gives me PTSD attacks occasionally. Regardless, let us commence with the critical examination of Nisekoi.

Originally, Nisekoi started its life cycle as a manga publication in the seasoned 'Shounen Jump' Magazine, notable for publishing such legendary manga series as Dragon Ball, Naruto and One Piece. Something that comes from this source can't possibly be bad right? Anyways, it started way back in 2011, and it quickly amassed a following among men of good culture, such as myself, who were able to notice the good qualities of the presented story.



False Love.

To put it in the most court way possible, Nisekoi is a romantic comedy. It is also a notable entry into the Harem sub-genre, although we will get back to that in a second. The basic plot goes something like this: There is this kid, Raku Ichijou, who just got into high school. Turns out he is actually the heir of a comic relief yakuza clan as well. Contrary to what this sounds like though, he is the most dense motherfucker you will ever meet. If I could, I would buy a body pillow depicting him just in order to burn it and finally have my peace.

Anyways, on the way to school one day he is attacked by a blonde girl called Chitoge Kirisaki. She... somehow happens to drop on him. I don't even know. Alas, this causes him to drop his pendant. He doesn't recall much about how he got this pendant, although what he does remember is that a girl gave it to him during his childhood as a reminder that they were to marry, shall they ever meet again. His pendant is locked and she has the key. Pretty straightforward in that regard. Unfortunately though, not many girls randomly carry around keys (or so he thinks, more on this later), so he has been searching for her to no avail.



The Ultimate Waifu.

In the meantime, Raku has eyed another girl in his class though: Kosaki Onodera. She is the ultimate crush. The best girl to have ever existed in any anime. She is perfect, she is precious and she deserves to be protected. I assure you, I am exaggerating in no way here. There is absolutely no way you won't love her. So in that sense, Raku seems to have quite a good taste. And it seems like Onodera also likes him, although they both seem to be too shy to mention it.

Chitoge turns out to be a new girl in school, and she somehow gets grouped together with Raku on everything. And obviously, they hate each other. She also later helps him retrieve his pendant, and that's the end of her involvement. Then Raku gets together with the ultimate waifu, Onodera, later!! Nope, there's absolutely no more to this story. I recommend you stop reading this review now. Goodbye!

...Reading up to this point means you are a true lunatic. Just like me. I like that.



Welcome To Die.

It turns out, Chitoge is the daughter of an American gangster clan that just recently moved to Japan (Chitoge being Half-Japanese). Unfortunately, they start an all out war with Raku's clan. To keep this from escalating any more, Raku's and Chitoge's dads, who happen to know each other, come up with a brilliant plan to stop them from fighting each other:

Raku and Chitoge have to fake being in a relationship. Oh boy. They reluctantly agree upon seeing the devastation their clan wars have brought on. What now starts is an endless cycle of utter despair. Of course, in order for the clans to not catch on, they have to fake public dates, et cetera. Naturally, on the first possible occasion, Onodera manages to see them together and then infers they are in a relationship. I was literally screaming at this point. Don't worry, it will get much worse.



Toying With My Feelings More Than How I Met Your Mother (Not That I'd Ever Watch That).

Thankfully, later this gets resolved as Chitoge, who has befriended her, manages to explain to her they're only faking it. Then later, Chitoge's clan is on the move, and they start sending literal assassins after Raku. However, one of those assassins, called Tsugumi, turns out to actually be a girl (who also falls into an one-sided love with Raku later) and joins the main character cast.

All while this is happening, the anime is beautifully dragging you along from episode to episode, because Onodera is getting dangerously close to finally making her move. At this point, a whole strategy team formed around her, in order to secure her victory in this series. We will refer to this association of fine gentlemen as "Team Onodera" from now on. They are eternally opposing the inhumane primates of "Team Chitoge", and they must not succeed in their operation.



Never Meant To Happen.

As it turns out, in one scene, while preparing for Chitoge's birthday, Raku and Onodera happen to go shopping together. Just as they are about to leave, Onodera manages to drag Raku down to one of her favorite spots, where you get a great overview of whatever town it is they are in. This is it, I thought. This is it right here. Then, the unexpected happens.

She pulls out a key. My heart stopped at this second and I had to pause the video for a second, as I was jumping around in joy around my room. But just before they can try to unlock Raku's pendant to find out if Onodera is indeed the promised girl, Tsugumi interrupts them with a phone call! Fuck!! After this, they leave for the party.



So Many Keys That This Might As Well Be Kingdom Hearts.

A few scenes later, Raku finds himself alone with Chitoge... AS SHE PULLS OUT A KEY AS WELL. AT THIS POINT I FUCKING LOST MY SHIT!! Of course they immediately try it out, and..... the key got stuck in the pendant. Great! Now there's not even a way to try out Onodera's key. Fucking great, just what I needed.

Anyways, a few episodes later, yet another girl appears. Her name is Marika, she is a fucking (high-functioning) yandere who talks in a kansai dialect when she's not paying attention, and who makes no secret of the fact that she has a key and wants to marry Raku. Of course, this stirs shit up even more. It does not help that she is the daughter of the local police chief.



Never Ending Story.

Ugh. So after a while of going back and forth like this, you can't help but notice the pure quality of this anime. You can't help but burst out in laughter at some scenes, and it really, really manages to pull you through.

Anyways of course, after a while, Chitoge realizes she actually loves Raku. However, since he is an oblivious idiot, he does not notice this, and goes on to offend her. This short conflict gets resolved later as well, as they go through a production of Romeo and Juliet for school. And let me tell you, that is the fucking best production of Romeo and Juliet I've seen. It is directed by Raku's crazy friend, Sho, and this is essentially just a giant plot in order to get him and Onodera together. He is the fucking best dude around.



So Many Plot Devices That TVTropes Writhes In Agony.

However, disaster strikes (once again), and Onodera manages to hurt herself just before the play was about to start. So they need to come up with an alternative, and finally, Raku makes up with Chitoge and she goes on to play the part. Like I mentioned before, this is probably easily the best episode in the entire anime, and also the Season 1 Finale. The cherry on top of this is, we get a very sweet RakuxOnodera scene at the end, where he tries to make up for her not being able to play the part of Juliet. Of course they still didn't get together, but it seemed like the stars were finally about to align.

There is a second season, but much of it just continued in much of the same vain. Some new plot lines were touched upon, such as it apparently taking a while to fix the pendant so none of the girls are able to test their keys, aaaaaaand... that's where we currently stand in terms of the anime. It just never continued.



The Anime Is Not Enough.

This is the point where we enter Mid-2016. The manga was nearing its end, and I was finally getting fed up with waiting for another season of the anime, so I took it on myself to go through the entire manga. Season 1 of the anime ends at about chapter 50, and we are going to skip straight ahead to 200, because honestly, here's a rough breakdown of what's happening inbetween:

-Onodera's sister appears who also secretly loves Raku although she doesn't realize it, and she tries to keep him away from her sister. Gets BTFO later. -Marika gets a huge arc and then she gets BTFO. -Tsugumi gets BTFO. -Another girl who has a key and is a childhood friend of Raku appears, however, she also gets BTFO later.

All of this takes about 150 chapters, and while it is quite enjoyable at parts, honestly, nearing chapter 200, you just feel like most of it was kinda unnecessary.



The Great Waifu War.

Anyways, with it still being unclear who the promised girl is (It was basically narrowed down to one of Chitoge/Onodera at this point), we enter the last 30 or so chapters. This is where the waifu war went into full throttle. And I mean, we went into some serious shit. We got a chapter where Raku basically realizes he has feelings for Chitoge. I officially went on suicide watch right about here.

At this point it seemed like the war was lost, however, I, and some of my fellow comrades on /a/ were not quite ready to give up yet, until at last, it almost seemed like we reached the light at the end of the tunnel.



A New Hope...?

It turns out, the promised girl was Onodera after all. I was so fucking happy, and it really looked like the ultimate goal was achieved...

...

...Until Raku decided to give 0 fucks and go with Chitoge instead, completely ignoring the promise.

In the end, she managed to confess to him, but that was probably the most heartwrenching thing I ever had to read. My fellow teammembers on /a/ had a collective breakdown as well. It was a loss. Even though I have been all of this... It was a one-of-a-kind journey, and I am glad I was strapped on for the entirety of it. I gave this manga an 8/10 rating before, and I will stand by this rating. Still, I do not recommend reading it unless you are into hilarious self-torture.



Speaking Of Self Torture.

Did you think this was the end? Did you think I forgot what the topic of this 'Shroom Issue was supposed to be?

Oh no, believe me I didn't.

INTRODUCING: NISEKOI IN SUPER. MARIO. MAKER!!!



YES YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT.

Nintendo was shameless enough to actually promote this mess in the critically acclaimed Super Mario Maker, released on the Wii U in 2015.

More specifically, there were two event levels based on Nisekoi released in 2016: Nisekoi: Chitoge & Kosaki and Nisekoi: Tsugumi & Marika. They are essentially based on characters from the show, in terms of level design and use of enemies, and also small, Japanese messages incorporated into the levels. Both of these level will unlock the Chitoge Mystery Mushroom costume. Unfortunately, it cannot be unlocked by scanning the Donkey Kong Amiibo.

I do not know what rode Nintendo to do this. More importantly, the levels are created by the man himself, Komi-sensei. The heinous, mischievous bastard who made us go through all of this shit in the first place! I swear, if I could, I would go over to Japan and slap him!!



Anyways, I think I can truly reach closure on Nisekoi now, once and for all.

This has been World Wide Weeb, signing out.

Character Review
Written by: Chief Chilly Considering the weather outside is frightful, and the fact that we usually go for some form of ice theme when we do the December issue, I figured now would be the appropriate time for me to give my thoughts on the icy boss that is Chief Chilly.

Chief Chilly is a Chill Bully with a moustache that guards Wario's key in Super Mario 64 DS, and that's really all there is to say about him. He has the normal Bully fight, kick him off a platform, but other than his icy appearance there is nothing to really distinguish him from all of the other Bullies. That is apart from his moustache, now, this would be an amusing character trait, but they've already done it with King Bob-omb, and in the same game no less, so really it just feels like pure laziness.

And that's the main issue with Chief Chilly, he could be so much more, but instead he's just simply a generic ice boss, just without the ice powers. And that's just plain ridiculous, despite being an ice creature, the only reason you know he is, is because he's ice and his area is ice. No special abilities, just a look. In all honesty, they could have just but a regular Bully there and there'd be absolutely no difference.

Even in Mario Kart DS his fight is exactly the same as with the Big Bully, bar the fact that Chief Chilly has now gained the ability to jump. Again, no use of ice powers, just a generic action.

Chief Chilly is incredibly disappointing, and actually has no decent reason to exist. He fills no particular niche, other than the potential need for an ice enemy. And in all honesty, if they wanted one of those, I think they should have gone with a Mr. Blizzard.

Movie Reviews
Written by: The Muppet Christmas Carol

Ah Christmas, a time for festivities, and the inevitable corporate cash grabs. Considering how long The Muppets had been going prior to this film, it is almost a miracle in of itself that they hadn't released a Christmas movie beforehand, but in 1992 they did.

As one might imagine from the title of the film, it is heavily based off of Charles Dickens's novel, A Christmas Carol, in which Ebenezer Scrooge (Caine) is visited by three ghosts in order to change his miserly ways.

The setting is the classic Christmas tale, but considering how The Muppets are mostly aimed towards a younger audience it feels a bit of an odd one. It is incredibly strange to watch The Muppets in something with such dark undertones, like seeing Kermit and Miss Piggy deal with their grief when Tiny Tim dies, or Scrooge kneeling at his future grave. One of the film's genres is comedy, and although there are a few laughs from Gonzo and Rizzo, the unsettling atmosphere really doesn't lend itself to that particular genre. And because of that, The Muppets just seem out of place for the entirety of the film.

They feel even more out of place when you see how few there are, considering what there could have been. Although the three ghosts get a Muppet makeover, none of them are actual Muppet characters, and there are plenty that could have worked. Scooters and Sweetums would have made good ghosts of Past and Present respectively, while Uncle Deadly should have been the Ghost of Christmas That Is Yet to Come.

I rarely talk about the set design, but here I feel that it is a bit of an issue that I need to address. The Muppets films have never shied away from using real locations, yet here it is a clearly constructed set, and one that's been poorly thought out. The door sizes are all off, and I understand that Muppets and humans are living in harmony, but there's no way a human can get into a Muppet house, and it feels like a massive oversight.

The soundtrack, however, is wonderful. As much as I don't like the general atmosphere, the lack of songs is quite fitting, and the ones that they do have are somewhat amusing, and definitely feel-good, they almost make you forget the unsettling atmosphere of the film you're watching. Particular credit needs to go to Statler and Waldorf's song, and the Ghost of Christmas Present's song too.

The Muppets Christmas Carol is an odd film. Despite what this review might have you think, I really did enjoy it. However, with the characters it's using, and the tale it's telling it does feel like it should have been a very different film.

G. TV
Written by:

Hi Guys! Merry Almost Christmas and New Year! Geeky here coming back with my newest review on one of my favorite animes. My choice is a pretty big anime that most likely everyone’s heard of at one point of their life. I thought that it would be a pretty good tie in with the Winter Olympics. Without further ado, I reveal the anime that I will be talking about. Yes! I’ll be doing my review on, Yuri!!! On Ice. One of my favorite animes that brings out a rather inspiring story of a young man by the name of Yuuri Katsuki competing in an ice skating competition trying to get gold in worldly figure skating competitions. After finishing in last place, he goes off to cry in the bathroom in defeat. There we meet Yuuri’s main rival Yuri Plisetsky being a big bad meanie. This guy literally kicks Yuuri’s stall door and tells Yuuri that there’s no room for two Yuri’s in this ice skating competitions and with a dismissal you should retire, he calls him a moron and leaves. With that we see him leave the bathroom after the confrontation. Then just as he’s about to make his way through throngs of reporters, fans, and other skaters. There he spots his ultimate idol, Viktor Nikiforov, the Beyoncé of the skating world. He asks him if he would like a picture, but sadly Yuuri doesn’t have the guts to face his idol, so he chooses to flee. Fast forward a few years later. We find out that Yuuri had just gotten done with college, choosing to visit his old home town. When he arrives, he bumps straight into his energetic ballet teacher Minako Okukawa otherwise known as Minako-Sensei. When he had purposely tried to come by himself to try and go home. They arrive at Yuuri’s home a basic hotsprings and house. They’re greeted by his mother. When they step into the home Minako-Sensei sees something off about Yuuri. When she removes his jacket she sees how much weight he’s gained. To the horror of Minako-Sensei stating that isn’t the body a figure skater should have. However, his Father seems to get a laugh out of it, comparing Yuuri to his Mother. Right after that he leaves to go off to the Ice Rink he trained as a child. When he gets there, he is met with his old friend, Yuuko Nishigori and her daughters. She’s rather surprised to see him after years of him being away. He tells her he has something to perform, then he performs one of Viktor’s famous routines to which he perfects. Unknowingly her daughter’s end up recording it and putting it online. It automatically goes viral on the internet. There Viktor picks up on the video watching it and without a second thought he vacates Russia inspired to help Yuuri. The next moment an unexpected Viktor comes to the hot springs his parent’s own. Cue the sexy hot spring scene between the two and with a hand held out to Yuuri he remarks the words, “Yuuri, starting today, I’m your coach. I’ll make you win the Grand Prix Final”. With that Yuuri basically freaks out ending the first episode.

Now let’s delve into the pros and cons of this series. Cons that I could possibly see for this series is there is a lot of technical terms for the ice skating. Sure, they do take the time to delve into explanations for how ice skating routines are scored. However, when I watched it the ice skating scores didn’t really stick to my head as the routines had been. This series also sneaks in some stuff from the ice skating world that only true ice skating fans would know. Such as some moves are borrowed from famous ice skating routines and attire would be like real life skaters’ outfits. I would also like to see some female ice skaters. They have only shown male ice skaters so far. For Pros this anime goes above and beyond representing how beautiful ice skating can be. I really enjoyed the vivid movements that each skater had done. The graceful yet passionate movements they had done with each of their performances. However, this anime isn’t just about ice skating. The creators of the anime took the time to delve into the lives of most of the ice skaters. Something I also loved was the progression of Yuuri and Viktor’s relationship as well as Yuuri’s personal growth as an athlete. We really get to see our protagonist go from a cowardly unconfident young man to a young man that can amaze the crowd with what he can do. This series has a total of 12 episodes which isn’t half bad. You could possibly finish this series within two days if you were to commit and binge the whole anime. Out of all 12 episodes, my favorite episode is episode 7. Episode 7 known as, “China’s On! The Grand Prix Series Opening Event!!! The Cup of China Free Skate”. This episode has to do with Yuuri’s second real competition within the series and you can tell that he’s nervous for this event. The poor guy can’t even get any sleep throughout this episode. Viktor even must grab him and cuddle him into a bed just to try and get him to sleep. However, nothing seems to work. Throughout this episode we seem to understand the pressure Yuuri is under for trying his best to represent Viktor as his coach. We can see this getting confirmed when we finally see Viktor push him to his limit when he confronts him in a parking garage. Trying not to get him to listen to how the other skaters are doing believing that was what he was so nervous about. The viewer can really see the type of bond these two have within this episode. The caring and delicate love that these two shares can be seen in this episode. Yuuri truly just wants to try and represent Viktor and show the world what he’s learned from him without messing up. If he were to mess up, then him coming to visit him in his family’s home would be for nothing. Talk about pressure. This is all I’m going to give you guys without spoiling the episode, because spoilers are no good. I love most of the characters within this series, however coming down to it my favorite character would have to be Yuri Plisetsky often nicknamed Yurio. I absolutely love this punky teenage ice skater. Automatically when he’s introduced to the show you can tell that Yuri is someone not to be messed with. He brings on this countenance full of intimidation, however once you overlook it. Underneath is a hark working young man who wants to prove that he can compete and prove himself to be the best skater that he can be. The character almost comes across as being arrogant this way wanting to prove that he has what it takes just to be as good as Viktor. He treats every single one of his opponents as enemies and does what he pleases to make that known. I hope you all liked my review of Yuuri!!! On Ice. This is an anime that is worth watching. Please check it out once you get the chance to. This anime is that good, and you’ll most likely be craving more once you get to the end. Thank you, guys, so much for reading my review and please check out the other articles within the Critic Corner. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! That’s it for now. Geeky signing off.