“Want me to cook something for you, Clumsy Crush-a-lot?”
—Zess T., Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
Zess T. is a grumpy fifty-five year old Toad chef in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door who resides in Rogueport. Her name is a pun on the word "zesty," which, in a way, describes her personality, as well as being a reference to her cooking skills. Like Tayce T., she is an expert at cooking, but she is the polar opposite; she has a sour attitude and is very mean and grumpy, calling Mario names and keeping a mean expression on her face. Her attitude is similar to Dyllis.
Mario first comes across her as she is searching for her missing Contact Lens; after Mario accidentally steps on it and crushes it, Zess T. refuses to allow him into Rogueport's West Side until he buys her a new one. Even after he does, Zess T. still harbors a bit of a grudge, referring to him as names such as "Stompy" or "Sir Stomps-on-Stuff."
Her cooking is limited to one item at a time until Mario finds Maitre Delish's Cookbook hidden in a back room of Creepy Steeple. After completing this task, she is able to cook two items into one.
 Tattle Information
- That's Zess T., a super-skilled Toad chef. With the right ingredients, she can make ANYTHING! She's like a kitchen magician! I am like, a TOTAL klutz in the kitchen, so I really respect a chef's touch.
- Main article: List of Zess T. Recipes
- Main article: List of Zess T. Recipes by ingredient
 Names in Other Languages
||Play on "Marie-Té", a common diminutive of the French name "Marie-Thérèse"
||Pun on "raclette," a type of cheese
||Mushroom Chef (champignon is the French word for mushroom)
- According to an RDM issue Mario receives via e-mail, Zess T. is fifty-five years old in the game. Additionally, another RDM issue claims Zess T. and Toadsworth became romantically involved during his stay in Rogueport. However, this may or may not be true, and this is never mentioned outside of the e-mail.
- She is believed to be Tayce T.'s sister, as inferred by some of the game's elements, which would also make her the Master's sister.