List of Mario is Missing! quotes

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This is a list of quotes from the game Mario is Missing! They are listed by character.

Bowser[edit]

  • "So Luigi, you're looking for your brother? I can easily kidnap two plumbers as cheaply as one! Come here, you..." (unused)
  • "D'oh! That was the only copy too!" (unused)
  • "Gee, the penguins kinda look like ants from up here..." (unused)

Curator[edit]

  • "Sorry, sir, but we're closed. Kleptomaniacal Koopas seem to have gotten clean away with King Kong."
  • "There's a reward being offered and as soon as we recover what we have lost, we will reopen the Empire State Building."

Koopalings[edit]

Larry Koopa[edit]

  • "Hi Luigi. We figured you'd be coming by. Pity you're never going to see your brother again. I don't even know which door leads to Mario."
  • "Nice try, plunger puss, but only fire can hurt me."
  • "No plumbers behind that door? Go ahead, try another. The wrong door has many handles, plumber dude."
  • "Uh, Luigi, old pal, buddy. You know, I've been on your side all along. Really. Don't burn yourself with that fire flower, pal."
  • "So, you're the great Luigi? You didn't even return all the artifacts in that city! You'll never find Mario!"

Roy Koopa[edit]

  • "Give up, Luigi. We already have cartons of hairdryers and Arctic Express is knocking at the door with another load."
  • "I knew the Koopa Critter defense would be too much for you. Try another door -- you can't stop us!"
  • "Go ahead, lock 'em all. We don't care, we're up to our tails in hairdryers. Soon this place will be a hairdryer-heated hot-house!"
  • "Oooh, I'm scared! NOT! Only fire can destroy me!"
  • "The hairdryers are still humming, pal. You might fry me, but Bowser will still be plugging away!"

Wendy Koopa[edit]

  • "Hey, how 'bout a kiss, Luigi-kins? No kiss? Then no brother!"
  • "Still carrying a torch for me, hot shot?"
  • "Big deal, one Portal locked. Return all the artifacts you want, Luigi-pie, WE'LL STEAL MORE!"
  • "Let's hug and make up, Luigi baby. Wendy wants violets, not smelly old fire flowers."
  • "Luigi, are you afraid of a few teensy-weensy turtles? Face it, handsome, you're not plumber enough to save Mario!"

Iggy Koopa[edit]

  • "I see the dumber plumber. Bro is missing? What a bummer. Think the door will lead to him? Step on through--it's sink or swim!"
  • "If it's my destruction you desire, give up, it only works with fire."
  • "You locked a door, what a bore, now you'll try to lock some more. But Mario's gone and can't be found. Just give up now and get out of town!"
  • "Big B's mad, he's out there burning, 'Cause your puny luck is turning. Flower-fry me, I'll go poof! But Bowser, dude, he's fireproof!"
  • "So, you could not finish the city? I don't think you're very witty. We're turtle-iffic, from what I see. We've stumped the guy, Luigi!"

Ludwig von Koopa[edit]

  • "How many Bowsers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Ha ha, only one, and he's dying to plunge Mario into darkness!"
  • "You think YOU'RE in the dark, friend? Just imagine poor Mario without any lightbulbs!"
  • "You made it past the others, but you won't get past me, you wrench wielding weirdo! I'm the mighty Ludwig von Koopa!"
  • "At last, the Koopa defenses are wearing you down! No plumber can stop us! Soon, the South Pole will be one giant Koopa swimming pool!"
  • "You can't hurt me. Only FIRE can destroy me!"

Lemmy Koopa[edit]

  • "You know, Luigi, a smart guy like you ought to join up with the winners. Here's a nice turtle shell you can wear. If you can't defeat us, you might as well join us" (unused)
  • "What's a nice plumber like you doing in a place like this? With your talents you ought to be unclogging drains somewhere, not trying to embarrass yourself as a detective" (unused)
  • "So, you had a little trouble in the city? Not everybody's cut out to be a super hero. Take a job with us, Luigi, you could always dump our trash and maybe do a little cooking" (unused)
  • "On the level, Luigi. Put down that burning bloom man, and let's talk reason. There's no reason to get all fired up" (unused)
  • "You're very strong and powerful, pal, but excuse me for not running. I mean, you don't have a fire flower, do you?" (unused)

Morton Koopa Jr.[edit]

  • "Go away, plumber's helper! The only place you'll see your brother's face is on a milk carton!" (unused)
  • "Want an onion bagel with that lock? It's the only lock you'll ever see!" (unused)
  • "Nanny, nanny, nanny! Luigi fell on his fanny! Try again some other time, pipe cleaner!" (unused)
  • "Still burning to find silly ol' Mario? Huh? Oh no! It's a fire flower! Yikes!" (unused)
  • "The gold truth of the matter is, this turtle is only afraid of one thing, and it's one thing you haven't got, buddy! Fire flowers!" (unused)

Luigi[edit]

  • "I'm practically a popsicle, Mario. Are we there yet?"
  • "The Brooklyn what??? Hey lookit, there's his pad. But the walls are awfully high. Say, M, I left my toothbrush back in the Big Apple..."
  • "Right, I'll watch the back door. Be way careful M, Bowser's one rascally reptile. And remember, don't take candy from strangers."
  • "Hmmm... guess he took a wrong turn in there. Hey, these walls aren't so tall when you get up close. That does it -- I'm going in!"
  • "Ha ha, Bowser! I always suspected that underneath that macho shell, you were just a boxer turtle." (unused)
  • "You'll never find it now, I threw it over that wall." (unused)
  • "Sayonara, fly breath!" (unused)
  • "I got the key, now Mario goes free. Bowser's sucking ice, the Koopas aren't nice." (unused)
  • "Yes! I never thought I'd see you again. It's a happy day, a happy day!" (unused)

Mario[edit]

  • "Come on, 'bro, you're dragging."
  • "We're there. All I can see are turtle tracks. Whaddaya say we give Bowser the old Brooklyn one-two."
  • "I'm going in, 'bro. Those krazy Koopas must be stopped or all this will soon be puddles!"
  • "Luigi, can't talk long. Bowser doesn't know my videophone still works for calling out. I don't know where he's keeping me. Sewage! He's coming back. Later!"
  • "Yo, 'bro. Just calling to check up. Looks like Bowser is raising his prices. Seems he can't collect enough ransom to pay for the hairdryers since you've been foiling his plans. Keep up the good work -- and get me outta here as soon as you can!"

Narration[edit]

  • "Somewhere deep in the frozen expanse of the South Pole..."
  • "...Bowser's brand new castle looms large. Deep within, the chief Koopa hunches in his room of gloom, plugging in high-powered hairdryers."
  • "Soon he will throw the main switch, melting snowballs from Stockholm to Sacramento. Thousands of penguins will be left homeless, while well-padded Polar bears overheat."
  • "Hope is running thin down here where the ice runs thick!"
  • "But wait! It's those stouthearted pipefitters from New York! This is a ray of hope!"
  • "Can Mario persuade him to stay? The weatherman predicts record high temperatures in the South Pole without those two!"
  • "Good advice."

Newspapers[edit]

  • "Mario Bros. To The Rescue!
    The Mario Bros. have gone to the South Pole. Representatives say the boys from Brooklyn are heading south to foil a plot to melt the South Pole, which could leave thousands of penguins homeless."
  • "El Polo Sur Se Descongela!
    The South Pole is defrosting! Water levels are beginning to rise as hundreds of hairdryers wreak havoc on the polar snowcaps. Thousands of penguins have begun the long swim to Tierra del Fuego. Meanwhile, Luigi continues his quest for his brother."
  • "Pesky Penguin Influx
    Thousands of penguins have begun arriving daily as their home in Antarctica is turning to soup. Most are finding their way to Taronga Zoo, where they've tried to gain admission to the polar bear den. The polar bears, meanwhile, are complaining that there's no more room. Zoo officials have appealed to Mario and Luigi to restore the South Pole to its once frozen state."
  • "'M' Club Meets
    The 'M' Club, consisting of Mayors from Moscow, Madrid, Marrakech and Mexico City, met yesterday in Montana. In a joint press release the Mayors announced that they were making Mario's brother, Luigi, an honorary member because he saved their cities from the Koopas. Their only regret is that his name doesn't begin with an 'M'."
  • "Penguins Sighted
    Visitors to Tierra del Fuego have reported increasing numbers of penguins, many with suitcases. What's going on in the Antarctic? Several penguins who spoke on condition of anonymity all claimed it had something to do with Bowser and the Hafta Havit Hairdryer Hotline. They would not elaborate."
  • "Stock Market Falls!
    The recent surge in sales for the Hafta Havit Hairdryer Hotline Corp. (HHHHC) has stopped. The company's stock fell on news that its biggest customer is unable to pay for shipments. Installment payments are being discussed. Angry HHHHC executives blame Luigi for their troubles."
  • "Penguins on Parade
    Thousands of penguins en route to the Taronga Zoo in Sydney had to be diverted to our own Veno Zoo late yesterday. The zookeeper in Sydney said, "It was getting too crowded, and there was no place to put their penguin suitcases." A spokespenguin added that "All we want is a little snow. Well, a lot of snow. And ice.""